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"Hey, are you listening?" You squeezed your legs tighter together, hoping to hold back the flood that was putting so much pressure on your bladder. "(Y/N) hello!" A hand waving in your face made you jump backwards, and you spun around to see Jean-Pierre Polnareff standing behind you. "Jesus Christ...what do you want?" "I was saying we're coming up to the hotel, and we're probably gonna have to share rooms again. Would it bother you if we ended up in the same room?" You waved him off, and tried not to reach for your crotch; that little stunt of his made you worried you'd piss yourself before you made it inside. "No it wouldn't bother me." Your legs twitched on instinct, fighting to close, and the taller man took notice. "Your leg fall asleep on you?" "Nah, probably just sore from sitting like that for so long. Where's the hotel?" You just noticed that the others were gone, and wondered how long you'd been sitting there, lost in your head.
"Over there, let's go." You picked up your pouch containing your Testosterone tools, and followed Polnareff to the others, but each step felt like an eternity. Taking a deep breath, you hurried after him, and matched his stride as best you could. "You seem off. Is everything alright?" "I think so, maybe I need food, or sleep. I'm sure I'll be fine after a while." "I hear ya. Could really use a shower, and some relaxation." You made your way into the lobby, finding the rest of the group near the hallways leading to the rooms. "About time you showed up, we were about to head up without you." Joseph tossed a key to the silver haired man, and the now complete group walked to the elevator. You hid in the back of the small space, hands shoved into your pockets while the others chatted for the duration of the ride. "Here we are. Should we get settled in, and meet up for dinner later, or just eat in our rooms?"
Avdol's question reminded you of your appetite, and everyone had conflicting answers, stepping out of the elevator to go to their respective rooms. It was decided that everyone would use room service for food, and bid each other farewell. Polnareff opened the door, and threw his arms in the air once he stepped inside. "Spacious, and comfy. I already can't wait to sleep on it. Are you sure you're ok? You're shaking like crazy." You had to lean against the wall to catch your breath, and squeezed your legs together as tight as you could. "Wait, do you just need to piss? Is that what all the fuss is?" "Yes, and no. I've been...uhm." You looked away from your teammate, embarrassed to speak your fears, and it made him even more curious. "You've been...what?" He sat up on the bed, waiting for you to explain. "I don't know how to...pee like a guy." At first, confusion was the only emotion to cross Polnareff's face, but then he busted out laughing at what you said, causing tears to spring to your eyes.
"Oh my god, you can't be serious!" Between peals of laughter, the Frenchman wiped away a stray tear, and he gathered the strength to look at you, only to drop is smile when he saw your lower lip trembling, and hands dabbing underneath your own eyes. "Wait, you weren't joking? I don't understand." "I-I'm trans. I'm a transguy, and I've been trying to learn how to pee like a cisguy, hoping it would help with the dysphoria." "Trans...transguy?" The realization dawned on him, and Polnareff immediately apologized, rushing to his feet to move over to you. "I'm so sorry, that was so insensitive of me." Truthfully, you'd hoped no one knew you were trans, not wanting to be treated differently, so you always separated from the group to take toilet breaks. Your bladder clenched, reminding you of the situation, and you pushed away from your roommate to go to the bathroom. "Wait, would you let me...help you?" You paused in the doorway, turning to him ever so slightly. "You could have said something sooner if it was such a problem. I'm uh...sure you had your reasons not to of course." A blush of guilt or embarrassment tinted Polnareff's cheeks.
"But maybe I could show you how I do it." Not really having time to choose, you nodded, and moved farther into the bathroom. "Alright have you tried this before?" "Usually only in a shower, I haven't done it over a toilet yet." "Guaranteed not to make a mess that way for sure. Ok pants down." You couldn't help but feel self conscious, as none of the others had seen you, but you were really out of time. Tugging your pants down to mid thigh, Polnareff blushed fiercely, and tried to keep his gaze higher for the time being. "You're gonna have to push them farther down. You need to have room between your body, and clothes so you don't piss yourself. And spread your legs wider." You followed his instructions, letting out a whinper as your need grew stronger. "Move your body closer to the toilet, yeah, that should work. Uh..." Polnareff had to look at your body to see if you'd make it in the bowl, but he wasn't expecting your clit to be so long, and accidentally stared, which caused you to cover up. "P-Polnareff!" "Sorry, sorry. All you gotta do now is just go." Try as you might, your body refused to relax enough to let out all the urine it'd built up.
"Dammit, dammit. I can't." "Something wrong?" "I-I'm too scared..." He saw your face pinch with fear, and frustration, and slowly, carefully moved behind you. "I'm here, just relax, take a deep breath." One of your hands held in his, his other hand rubbed gently along your back in a soothing manner. "Take your time, it's alright." You couldn't stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks, memories from your childhood of being punished for trying the same thing began to fill your vision. Sensing your increasing anxiety, Polnareff's hand moved from your back to undo his own pants, and tug them down. He let go of you to take hold of himself, and then took a deep breath in; on the exhale, his body relaxed, and he started pissing. While your eyes were transfixed on the scene, your abdominal muscles relaxed enough for you to pee as well. It left you in such a rush that you felt a little dizzy, and held onto the counter until your bladder was completely empty. "Nice job!" The Frenchman held a hand up, and you high fived before flushing the toilet, and turning to the sink to wash your hands with cold water.
You were still jittery, so Polnareff felt obligated to understand where you were coming from, and try to help you. "I get the feeling there's more to this than just not knowing how to pee standing up." You nodded with a sniffle, not bothering to dry your hands, instead bringing them up to press over your face, and under your eyes to try, and calm down. "Tell me about it, what's the real problem?" "Out of context, it seems like the most stupid...childish thing ever, but it's caused me so much trouble over the years." Your roommate moved to sit on the bed nearest the window, patting the space beside him to encourage you to sit with him. Humoring him, you took a seat on the corner of the bed, and wiped at your eyes one more time. "Long version or short?" "Whatever you wanna tell me is fine." "Um well...I've known I'm a guy since I was little, but my family abused me for it so I was never allowed to learn how to act like a guy. Using the toilet is hard enough for me already because of things they've done, and...the anxiety I have about toilet needs is tied to me being trans. I don't know how to explain it, but it's hard for me to act like a guy without expecting punishment for it. Does that make sense?"
"Sort of. From what I understand, your family did something to you...involving bathrooms, and that made it hard to pee normally. On top of that, they punished you for acting like a guy, so now you're scared to. Is that it?" You nodded again, trying to laugh it off. "It's the dumbest thing in the world, like...no matter how you do it, you HAVE to pee, but it's just...such a struggle for me either way. Ugh. I get so mad about it, then I can't go at all." Silver Chariot materialized next to his user, and wrapped you in a hug. "Oh uh-ok..." Not knowing how to respond, or why it was happening, you just hugged it back, and glanced at Polnareff. "I think your puppy likes me." That brought a smile to the Frenchman's face. "He's just doing what I would have. You don't have to be afraid of us, (Y/N) we don't have any reason to treat you like that. Wait, have we? Have we already done something that made you afraid of us?" "No, it has nothing to do with the people I'm around." "That's good. Do the others know?" "I hope not...I wasn't planning on any of you finding out. I moved away from my family a long time ago, so I don't know anyone who knows...except you." The taller man blushed again, and sat straight up with a giddy look on his face. "Well come on, let's go tell them!"
"No. Never. I can't. And besides, why should I? Didn't you guys already think I was a guy?" That made him pause, and cock an eyebrow. "Yeah, you've got a point. But still, we're a team. I really think they should know." Chariot had let go of you, and started petting at your hair, and shoulders, apparently trying to comfort you. "Can you think of one good reason why I should tell the others that I'm trans? One reason that telling them would benefit our team as a whole." "So you can trust us." His answer came so quickly you almost thought it was rehearsed. "What?" "You're afraid right? It's because of how differently they'd treat you if they knew. Is that how you feel?" He was more perceptive than he let on, and it made you grumble. "Let me rephrase that, actually. Tell them so you can trust us. This fear that you live with...I can understand how much it must have impacted your relationships with other people, and I think it would really help YOU feel more like a member of the team if you were able to trust us."
"Even if I wanted to, it's not like you can just walk up to people and say something like that. Especially just out in public." Hand on his chin, Polnareff struck a thoughtful pose. "That's probably a good point. Even if most people are nice or even don't care, it's possible an enemy stand user could hear, and use it against us." The thought of it had you letting out a shaky whimper, and your teammate immediately shushed you. "No, no, no, it's ok. Don't be scared. Hm. Well maybe it doesn't have to be right this second, but I still think you should tell the others." Out of the corner of his eye, he could see you tensing, but trying to fight it, and he moved over to sit next to you, on the other side of Silver Chariot. "Hey don't get all stressed out. You have absolutely nothing to worry about with us. If you don't believe me, I guess you'll just have to see for yourself." Polnareff held your hand again, squeezing gently in assurance, and you leaned into his side. "I-I'm scared. I know I said that, and I think that...I don't have any reason not to trust you, but..."
"You have good reason for not bringing it up. I have no idea what your life was like, but obviously you have reasons to hide it. Would it be easier for you to tell everyone all at once or one on one?" "One on one I think." Your heart began to pound harshly beneath your ribcage, and the Frenchman brought you close to his body, wrapping his arms around you to keep you grounded. "Calm down, it's ok. Take a breath." You clung onto his strong arms, trying to breathe slow, and steady to come back down from a potential panic attack. After several minutes of being held in a tight embrace, and following the breathing patterns of the man behind you, the fog lifted, and the anxiety seemed to fade away. "All at once. I wanna tell them all...at once. Just get it over with." After making sure you were really ok, Jean moved to the phone to call the room numbers of the others, calling Joseph, and Avdol first; you listened to the conversation out of curiosity. "Hey, no everything's fine. (Y/N) and I were just talking, and there was something he wanted to bring up with everyone. I was just wondering if you two were busy right now. No it's not...technically urgent, it can wait. That's why I asked if you were busy.
No, I called you first. Let me ask." He moved the receiver away from his mouth, and looked at you. "Would you rather go to them?" You gave a nod. "He said it would be easier to do it outside." After a pause, and Polnareff agreeing to something, he hung up, and looked at you. "Avdol suggested we all go outside to find some place to eat, so they're looking for a restaurant. Ready for round 2?" He dramatically raised his hand up, then lowered his index finger to lightly push on the numbers to Jotaro, and Kakyoin's room. "Jotaro, you guys hungry? We're all going to a restaurant. Figured it would be a good chance to stretch our legs, and get a taste for the town." There was a brief silence while the teen responded. "Well yeah, but relaxing can work up a pretty big appetite." You couldn't decipher the look on his face, and began to get worried. "Look, there's something else we're doing besides eating. We just happened to pick a restaurant as a place to go to, alright? I'm just waiting on a call back from Mr. Joestar to tell us where to go."
After what seemed to be an argument of sorts, he finally hung up. "I don't remember being so broody as a teen. Now we wait for-" The phone rang, cutting him off, and he answered, then agreed to something, and hung up. "There we have it. Would you mind holding the key card for me? I get the feeling I'd lose it." You closed your hand over it when the object was placed in your palm, and you both made your way to the teens' room since it was closer. Jean knocked on the door, and announced for them to meet the others in the lobby so they could head out, and your breath hitched, though you forced your anxiety back. "Let's not keep Avdol, and Mr. Joestar waiting." It didn't take long for the group to be complete again, and despite running your thumb along the keycard, you felt your anxiety increase as everyone began walking to the place they picked out. You had a knack for hiding your true emotions, so no one could see your anxiety, but the tension was obvious in your stiff movements. The restaurant came into view, causing Polnareff to practically run inside, and sate his large appetite. "Good grief, does he think with anything other than his stomach?" Everyone else made their way in, and found their teammate, joining him soon enough, and waving down a waitress.
Suddenly it felt like the room began to squeeze close, pressing in on you from every side, it felt like the people talking had begun to yell to each other, and your clothes felt too tight. "You don't look good, what's wrong?" "Can we get him some ice water please?" Your hands, clasped tightly between your legs, trembled, and you bit down hard on your lower lip, your friends' voices becoming muffled as blood pounded in your ears. A warm hand covered yours, thumb gently rubbing along your knuckles, and it was comforting, reassuring, and stabilizing; your heart began to slow, the pressure around you receded, and the temperature around you returned to normal; the weight of Polnareff leaning against your side cleared your mind, and you looked up to see the worried faces of Joseph, and Avdol. "Sorry...I think I had a hot flash or something." "You've been zoned out for a while now, we were starting to think you blacked out." Kakyoin's voice brought your attention to him, and you noticed plates of food in the center of the table, and a full cup of ice water close to your body. "Drink it slowly." Avdol advised when you reached for the cup.
You heeded it, and took slow sips while the others ate their choice of food, and talked about random things to pass the time until you came to. "Are you sure you're ok?" Joseph asked after a while. "Yeah, sorry for worrying you." "Polnareff told us you had something to say, is that why you've been so tense?" With a nod, the others drew their attention to you, and continued eating; it helped keep the attention off you, and allowed you to speak calmly. "I know this isn't the best time or place for this, with everything that's going on, but I...I'm trans. I wasn't really planning on ever saying anything, but if I can't trust the people in front of me about this, there isn't anyone in the world I can trust." You chose to shut your eyes, so you didn't have to see their reactions, too afraid of being judged, or worse, forced to leave the group or even the restaurant. "What do you mean?" "I'm a transguy, I'm not...I'm not like you. I was born a girl, but I've been transitioning for a few years. That's what the...the little bag is. It's my Testosterone stuff." "Good grief. Why didn't you say anything sooner?" "I've lost friends over this, and my family abused me for it my whole life, until I left that town a few years ago. I didn't want..." Tears filled your eyes, and one dripped off your face so fast it didn't even touch your cheek.
"You were worried we would have the same reaction. It's understandable, but your fears are misplaced. We would never force you away, or abandon you because of your gender." You covered your mouth to keep back any noises as tears spilled over your hand, and onto your lap; you turned your head, looking away from your friends, but felt different pairs of arms wrap around you. "Is that why you always stay by yourself? Because you didn't want us to know?" All you could do was nod, and your back was rubbed again in a show of comfort until you were able to compose yourself. "I know there are more important things at hand...but I think I also should have told you sooner." "Hey, it's alright. If you need anything, just let me know, ok? I'll get it for you." Just then, you noticed exactly whose arms were around you, and it honestly caught you off guard; a pair of purple arms wrapped around your shoulders, and white, and green arms were underneath those. With the burden of your childhood off your chest, you were able to eat, and enjoy your time with the group without feeling the need to be separated from them.