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“What is it like?” he asked quietly.
They had been sitting atop a platform high above the Arena for some time. At first, when the sun was still near its peak in the sky, the noise around them had been deafening. The sounds of cheering provided a backdrop to war cries and the familiar crush of spear hitting metal as the challengers fought machines below. But as the hours melted away so did the crowd until it was just the two of them, side by side in companionable silence as the sun threw golden light across the ruin. Aloy had appreciated the quiet as it settled over them. Strangely enough it was likely why she had found herself guiding her sunwing toward the Grove in the first place. Not because it was a particularly peaceful place, quite the opposite actually, but because the man next to her was probably one of the only people who she felt comfortable being in the quiet with.
It wasn't alone time she was after - no, she had plenty of that. Aloy had a lifetime worth of being alone in fact, with only her thoughts to keep her company. And she was growing tired of it. She was tired of running, tired of being the one to shoulder the weight of, well everything. And she was tired of the bad news that always seemed to find her. And of course, earlier that day it had found her, causing her thoughts to run rampant and threaten to consume her if she didn't do something. So without giving thought to the direction, she had followed an invisible thread that pulled her in the direction of a certain Tenakth Marshal, a steadfast presence even as the thoughts kept swirling.
“Aloy.” Kotallo’s voice rumbled low to her left, her eyes snapping up to meet his at the sound. As always, his eyes were warm as he stared at her, one eyebrow raised and the corner of his mouth turned up ever so slightly. Had he been asking her a question?
“I’m sorry, were you saying something?” she teased, gently hitting her shoulder against his right arm.
Kotallo chuckled softly, a sound she cherished, as rare as it was. Though increasingly less so when it was just the two of them. “I was simply wondering about the land in the East. Perhaps you could tell me what the Sundom is like,” he said. “The furthest I’ve been is Barren Light, well technically just beyond it.”
She had asked him for a distraction when she had landed outside the Grove, tapping her focus and giving him only a moment to find her as she rounded the corner toward the throne room. Without a word, he had led her to the Arena and there they had sat, their legs barely touching as Aloy tried to clear her head, to come to terms with the information she’d been given. Kotallo hadn’t asked why she needed the distraction, and for that she was grateful. She would tell him, of course. Just not quite yet. Out of all her companions she figured he understood what it felt like to need to escape your own head for a while. He would never push her to speak before she was ready.
Aloy cleared her throat, glad for the chance to talk about something that wasn’t life threatening. “It’s…beautiful actually,” she said, closing her eyes to the sun and letting it warm her face. The feeling reminded her of the awe she had felt the first time she’d entered the Sundom and left the Sacred Lands behind. “There are these huge rust colored cliffs spotted around the desert and huge cacti everywhere. I can still remember sitting on top of one of those cliffs - they call them mesas, actually. Anyway, I remember watching the sun rise at the top and it was...breathtaking. The colors were so warm and rich, like the sunlight itself had painted every inch of the landscape.”
Kotallo moved slightly beside her and she found her attention pulled back to him, to the present. “Mmm, perhaps that’s why the Carja worship the sun?”
Aloy huffed out a small laugh, “Yeah, actually. Their history says they followed the sun out of the Embrace and it led them to Meridian, or to the Spire, at least.”
“And what else? I heard part of it is similar to the Raintrace. The…Jewel, I believe Fashav called it.”
She nodded at him, smiling at his mention of Fashav. “Yeah, but it’s not as lush and green as the Raintrace. Less humid, too.” A thought crossed her mind as she looked up at Kotallo. “Wait. If Fashav had already told you about the Sundom, why are you asking me?”
He smiled, his face serene as he stared out over the Grove. “Of course Fashav would love the place where he grew up. I find your perspective on the matter much more interesting.”
Another moment of silence crept by before Kotallo spoke again. “Do you miss it?”
“The Sundom? No. Not really. It was hard to be myself there, especially in Meridian. But even outside of it. Everywhere I went it was like people couldn’t wait to drop to their knees in front of me and ask for my favor. Savior this and savior that. It was exhausting, honestly.” A sudden breeze blew through causing Aloy to shiver. She felt Kotallo shift closer to her, his arm brushing against her own. “I don’t love the title of Champion, but it’s…different. Respect rather than reverence. Plus the Tenakth haven’t tried to build a statue in my honor, so there’s that.”
Kotallo laughed softly, then brushed his hand across his chin. It was a movement she’s seen him do before when he was thinking, strategizing. “I don’t know why, but I always figured you would go back to the East after all this is over,” he said after a moment. “Maybe to Meridian.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so. There’s no home for me there, not without Rost. Besides, the Base is here, Beta, and GAIA.” Aloy took a breath and with it a chance. “And…you.”
“Aloy,” he whispered, as he moved his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side. She went willingly, but didn’t give him room to say anything more, she wasn’t ready for that. Not yet. So Aloy changed the subject.
“GAIA said there are entire areas of the planet beyond the ocean, other tribes we don’t even know about. There are mountains taller than anything I’ve ever seen. New plants, likely other animals, too.” Aloy took a breath and closed her eyes as if imagining it, leaning closer into Kotallo’s chest. “I think after all of this is over, I’d love to see it. Someday.”
“You will,” he said softly into her hair. “I know it.”
Aloy wanted to believe him, to listen to his strong, steady voice and trust that what he was saying would be true. But that future, on the other side of this cataclysm that threatened them all - it was closer than she could admit. There was still time, of course, though it was running out quicker than they had expected. Two months . She’d left the Base when GAIA had given her the update.
“Kotallo?”
He simply hummed, willing her to go on at her own pace. A question hung on the tip of her tongue, one she’d mulled over on her own for too long.
“Do you really believe we can win this?” She couldn’t look at him, didn’t want to see his face when he realized what she was asking. She busied herself instead with twisting the beads at the end of one of her braids as she felt his chest rise on an inhale.
“I do. We will prevail, Aloy.”
She closed her eyes, blinking back the tears that gathered at the edges of her vision. “And if we don’t?”
Kotallo squeezed her shoulders. “Then we fight to the very end. And we do so with no regrets.”
No regrets.
Aloy let the weight of what he’d said settle over them. She let the thoughts bubble to the surface and her doubts spill out. “I sometimes wonder if it would have been better to have never left the Embrace. To have never found out about Zero Dawn, the Zeniths, any of it. Things would have been easier, simpler. The world could have just ended in a quiet gasp, a whisper. Maybe it would have been better that way.” Her voice was small, barely recognizable to her own ears. The words didn’t feel right even as she was speaking them.
“You don’t really believe that,” Kotallo said, seeing right through her. He always did. “You have given us a chance, Aloy. Because of you. Because of GAIA, and Beta…we have a plan. And you have those of us who are willing to fight by your side to see that plan become a success.”
“I just…wish we didn’t have to fight anymore,” she sighed.
“As do I. But, I would rather die fighting until my last breath than to give up before the battle even began.”
The sun slid below the horizon as he spoke. Stars blinked into view above them and darkness crept across the ruin. The stolen hours Aloy had seized to sit in this space with him were coming to an end. She breathed in and wiped a tear from her eye before lifting her hand to his.
“Two months,” she breathed out before she could stop herself. “That’s how long we have. GAIA told me right before I flew here. I…haven’t told anyone else. Not yet.”
Kotallo sucked in a steadying breath. “Less time than we thought.”
“Yes,” she responded simply.
“Then we begin putting our plan into place tomorrow.”
Aloy nodded, listening to his heartbeat thud faster in his chest. He was right, of course. It was what they had all been working towards the past six months. They were prepared, they had to be. But she could steal a few more hours, surely. The world could give her that, right? After all she had sacrificed to save it.
“And tonight?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Aloy tightened her fingers around his, for once daring to hope for something selfish.
Kotallo hummed, quiet for a moment. “If I am to have no regrets going into this battle, then I must make a request.”
“Anything,” she replied automatically. Her heart was beating in time with his, drowning out any noise that dared interrupt the bubble they’d carved out for themselves.
“Stay with me, Aloy.”
She pushed herself up from his chest and tilted her head to meet his gaze - golden brown eyes reflecting her own longing back at her. Aloy had known for some time of her feelings, but there had always been something to get in the way, somewhere else to be, another mission demanding her attention. But time was running out. In the morning they would walk down a path of no return. They would face the end of the world with spears held at the ready. If they were lucky, then maybe, just maybe, there would be more sunsets for them on the other side of the battle they faced. And if not, she would let go of the world with no regrets. Her answer was easy.
“Yes. Until the end.”