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“I knew you’d understand.” Spencer said, throwing himself at Hotch.
The older agent hugged him back. He could feel Reid’s body go limp, and realised he was the only thing physically holding him up. He hugged him tighter. Gideon walked up to them, and grabbed one of Spencer’s arms, placing it around his shoulders.
“Let’s get you out of here.” Gideon said.
They all tried to talk Spencer into going to a hospital, but he claimed he was fine. Just slapped a band-aid on the cut on his head and called it a day. He also refused to sleep in Tobias’ home, understandably. He kept insisting he just wanted to go home, and none of the team felt like saying no to him, so they decided to take the plane back to Quantico despite it being the middle of the night.
Hotch helped Spencer onto the plane, holding on to him, and letting him lean against his shoulder.
“Where do you want to go sit? On the couch?” Hotch asked.
Spencer looked up at him with exhausted eyes, and nodded. He allowed himself to practically get dragged through the plane by Hotch, who eased him onto the couch.
“You must be very tired, you should sleep for a bit.” Hotch suggested. Spencer shook his head. “Come on, just lie down.” Hotch sat down next to him, letting the doctor lie down and rest his head on his lap, facing away from him. “There you go.” He placed a hand on Spencer’s shoulder, and gave it a squish.
Spencer didn’t even try to sleep. He allowed himself to relax, sure. But not sleep. He kept seeing the shed in his mind, he couldn’t close his eyes without forgetting where he was. He was scared of falling asleep and waking up in that chair again. He just stayed still and quiet, almost pretending to be asleep for the two hours they were flying. He must have fooled Hotch, because when they landed he felt him grabbing his shoulder and shaking him.
“Hey, wake up. We’ve landed.” Hotch said softly.
Spencer turned onto his back, so he could see his face. Hotch gave him a little smile. Spencer thought he must have really looked awful, if even Hotch was giving him pity smiles.
“Think you can get up?” Hotch asked.
Spencer nodded, to which Hotch placed a hand behind his back and used it to help lift him up.
“I really don’t think you should be alone in your apartment right now, with no one to look after you.” Hotch told him. “How would you feel about spending a few days at mine?
We have a guest room where you can stay. Would you like that?”
“Yes, that sounds great. Thanks.”
“Okay, let me give Haley a call and then I’ll drive us there.”
Spencer had never been to Hotch’s house; he wondered if anyone else on the team had. They were greeted at the door by Haley, who gave Hotch a kiss and then went on to hug Reid.
“Aaron told me what happened.” She told him, with him still in her arms. “You can stay here for as long as you need.”
“Thank you.”
Hotch walked back to them. In the few seconds that their hug had lasted, he had already gone into the house, and taken off his shoes, tie, and jacket.
“I’m gonna go run you a bath”, he told Spencer. “Haley, could you get him some of my clothes for him to change into?”
Haley went to their bedroom to look through the closet, and Hotch took Spencer to the upstairs bathroom. Spencer sat on the edge of the tub, as Hotch filled it up with warm water, bubble bath, and epsom salts.
“Do you want to do this alone, or would you rather I stay?” Hotch asked. Spencer wouldn’t look at him. “It’s okay, Reid. I want to help you however I can.”
“Please stay.” Spencer looked up at him.
Hotch nodded. He helped him undress, unbuttoning his shirt for him and letting him rest on his shoulders as he took off his trousers. He held him by the hand as he eased him into the bathtub. Spencer’s face immediately relaxed. Hotch grabbed a wash cloth, and gestured to Reid. The younger man nodded. Hotch started out by washing his back, going over it with the cloth, letting the dirt seep into the water, which was already starting to turn dark. He moved on to his shoulders, then his arms. As he had it in his hands, he noticed the track marks the needle had left on one of them.
“Oh, Spencer. What did he do to you?” Hotch whispered. Spencer simply shook his head. “It’s okay, you don’t have to talk about it right now if you don’t want to.”
He let go of that arm, and moved on to the other one, as if nothing had happened. He went down to his legs and feet, the latter which he massaged lightly, paying special attention to the one with the bruised sole. He then went back to his hands. His nails were chipped and there was still graveyard dirt underneath them. He cleaned them with a nailbrush and clipped them over the side of the tub. At one point he accidentally cut too close to the skin, causing Spencer to flinch, to which he instinctively brought his hand to his mouth and gave the knuckles a kiss, just like he would if the same had happened with Jack. They both ignored it.
After he shampooed and rinsed his hair, Hotch helped Spencer get out of the bathtub, letting him hold on to his shoulders, not caring how wet he was getting his shirt. He wrapped him up in a towel, then went to grab the clothes Haley had left outside the bathroom door. He helped Spencer put on the sweatpants and T-shirt he often wore on his days off. They were a bit big on him, and made him look even younger than he already did.
“Did you actually get any sleep on the plane?” Hotch asked.
“No. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, why are you apologising? You’ve done nothing wrong. You really should try to go and get some rest, though. Come on, I’ll show you to the guest room.”
Hotch walked Spencer to a bedroom that was right next to his and Haley’s. He got him to sit down on the queen sized bed, while he went to close the blinds. Although he closed them all the way, the morning light was still somehow making its way into the room, not quite letting it get dark. Hotch walked back to the bed. He made Spencer lie down, despite his protests, and tucked him in.
“Want me to stay with you for a bit?” Hotch asked.
Spencer nodded. Hotch sat on the edge of the bed, close enough to Reid that he could feel the older man’s lower back press against his knees. Spencer was lying down on his side, facing him, and curled up slightly, as if he wanted to physically cling on to him. Hotch reached out with his hand, and gently stroked his damp hair.
“You’ve been so strong, and so brave.” Hotch whispered to him. “I’m so proud of you, Spencer. You did so well. Sleep now, okay? Just sleep.”
Spencer could feel some tears starting to slip out of his eyes. He hoped it was dark enough for Hotch to not be able to see them, as he shut his eyes and silently kept on crying. That hope got shattered when he felt Hotch’s hand wipe away the tears. He clutched the blanket and curled up even more, hiding his face. Hotch kept on whispering reassurances to him, rubbing circles on his back and stroking his hair, until Spencer finally fell asleep.
Hotch ruffled the young agent’s hair one last time, and then left the room, leaving Spencer alone, so he could sleep. Spencer had a very restless sleep, waking up several times and finding it hard to fall back asleep. Memories of what had happened to him kept flooding his mind, both while he was awake and when he was not. Once he noticed the sun had set, he realised he had been sleeping for quite a few hours. Unsure of whether it was the middle of the night, early morning, or right after sunset, he got up and left the bedroom for the first time.
He heard talking, so someone else must have been awake. He also smelled food. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed since the last time he had eaten, it must have been at least a day. He was starving. He followed the smell, which took him into the dining room, where dinner had just been served.
“Hey, look who’s up”, Haley greeted him. “How did you sleep?”
“I slept well, thanks”, Spencer lied. “That bed is very comfortable.”
Hotch and Haley set a spot for him at the dinner table. They they gave him a large serving of the roast they had cooked, which he ate as fast as he was capable of. Hotch seemed really happy to see him eat. Spencer offered to help clear the table and load the dishwasher, but Haley insisted on doing it herself.
“Did you actually sleep well?” Hotch asked, once Haley was gone. “Because, no offence, you really don’t look like you did.”
“Yeah, I guess not. I’ll try to go back to bed in a moment.”
“Can I do anything to help? Do you want me to come stay with you again?”
“No, no. You’ve done more than enough. Thank you for everything.”
That was a lie. Spencer would have loved for Hotch to have stayed with him; he was terrified at the prospect of having to be alone with his thoughts in that bed again, but he was overly scared of asking too much from him. So he just borrowed a book, a random book from a random shelf in the living room, and tried to read in bed until he fell asleep. It took a while, and he actually had to go back out to get more books, as he kept finishing them, but it worked eventually, and the young genius went back into yet another restless sleep.
Hotch and Haley had also gone to bed. Hotch had not slept in two days, and he was glad to finally be able to get some rest, in his own bed, next to his wife. He was awoken, not long after midnight, by the sound of crying.
“Honey, could you go check on Jack?” Haley mumbled, almost on impulse, mostly still asleep.
“That’s not Jack.” He replied, and he ran out of the room.
When he got to the guest room, Spencer was still asleep. He was laying on his side, with his hands pulling at his hair. Hotch didn’t know people could cry that hard while sleeping. Tears were flowing like small rivers down his cheeks, onto his face, and all over the pillow. He would occasionally speak, asking for mercy from someone who was not there, begging him not to hurt him, telling him he didn’t have to do this.
Hotch sat on the edge of the bed again. He grabbed the younger man by the shoulders, and lightly shook him, while calling his name. This just caused his pleads to increase and get louder, more desperate. Hotch shook him harder. He needed to wake him up, he couldn’t stand to see him like this. Eventually Reid woke up, sitting up on his bed suddenly.
“You don't have to do this. I have nothing to confess!” He screamed, at the top of his lungs.
Hotch was still holding him by the shoulders. He gave him another light shake.
“Spencer, look at me. It was just a dream. It’s okay, you’re not there any more. You’re safe.”
Spencer seemed to recognise Hotch, and the panic faded away from his face.
“I’m safe.” He muttered.
“You’re safe.” Hotch repeated.
Spencer’s face crumpled up, tears beginning to form again. Hotch pulled him into a reassuring hug. The boy curled in on himself, causing him to feel so small in his arms. Hotch held him tight, keeping one arm steady around his torso, and stroking his hair and face with his free hand.
“It’s okay, you’re going to be okay.” He hushed him. “You’re home. You’re safe. He can’t hurt you any more.”
His heart hurt a little bit more with each sob that came out of the young man’s mouth, and with each muffled scream he felt against his chest his anger towards Tobias grew. But he just waited, and waited, until those sobs and screams stopped. It took a while, but Spencer’s crying eventually subdued, getting reduced to just a few tears and occasional light sobs and sniffles.
“Let’s try to sleep now, okay?” Hotch proposed. He felt Reid nod against his chest. “Okay, down we go.”
He slowly lay down onto his back, with Spencer still in his arms. Spencer curled into him, his head resting on his chest, and his hands grasping at his shirt. Hotch kept on hushing him, trying to get him to sleep.
“Please don’t let go of me.” Reid let out, in between sobs.
“I won’t, I won’t.” He cooed. “I’ll stay here with you until you fall asleep. I’m here for you.”
Spencer shut his eyes and focused on the warmth of the hug, the sound of Hotch’s voice, his scent. Anything and everything that reminded him where he was and who he was with. A hand running through his dark blond hair, another rubbing his upper arm. It was soothing. His breathing eventually relaxed, the exhaustion of what he had been through the past few days combined with this meltdown caught up with him, and he finally fell asleep.
Hotch kept on holding him, his arms still around him and his chin rested on the top of his head. He could feel Reid’s chest move with each relaxed breath, and occasional little snore. He kept telling himself that he’d only stay there a couple minutes more, just to make sure that Reid was completely okay, and then he’d go back to his own room. But he just couldn’t seem to let himself leave him alone. After a while, he saw something move out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head around, to find Haley standing at the doorway, watching him.
“He had a really bad nightmare”, he explained. “He’s back asleep now, I’ll be with you in a minute.”
Haley smiled and shook her head.
“It’s okay. Stay with him, he needs you more than I do tonight.” She walked to the bed, and gave Hotch a kiss. “Goodnight.”
Haley began to walk away, stopping only for a moment at the doorway.
“Aaron?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re a really good father.”
Hotch smiled to himself. Once the door was closed, he adjusted himself on the bed so he’d be more comfortable. Now that he knew that Spencer was okay, he could finally get some proper rest. He kissed the top of the boy’s head, and closed his eyes.