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“Today we are here for the trial of Twizzly Gummy cookie and yada yada I don’t remember the rest of this okay.”
The room is just basically a standard courtroom, except steampunk because TK really likes that aesthetic for some reason.
There are two benches/desks in front of the comically large chair Timekeeper is sitting in, the prosecutor and the defendant bench.
In the defendant bench is Twizzly Gummy. In the prosecutor bench is String gummy cookie.
“Are you seriously going to defend yourself?” String gummy stares at Twizzly in alarm.
“Of course not! I’m waiting for my lawyer.”
As if on cue, a slightly intoxicated toothpaste cookie kicks open the door, walks up to the bench and sits next to Twizzly.
“Great. Now that’s everyone’s here, I will recite the charges.”
“We’re missing a juror.” Someone shouts.
The juror bench has eleven people on it. Vampire, Sonic the hedgehog (in cookie form), Jungkook, Pure Vanilla, Expresso, Director Croissant’s urn, Black Pearl, Space donut, Purple Yam, Cookie Cookie Jesus from the cookie run comics and Dark Choco. It should be twelve.
“goda-“
“No cursing in court.” Croissant coughs from a door nearby Timekeeper.
Timekeeper pulls out her embroider, and drags a very confused Fire spirit cookie out, throwing him into the juror stands.
“There now we can continue.”
“Where am I-“ “SHUT UP AND LISTEN DOING DIRECTOR STUFF IS BORING I WANNA GET THIS OVER WITH BECAUSE I KNOW THE RESULTS-“
“Thanks you everyone.” They say cheerfully as everyone shuts up.
“Now, Twizzly Gummy’s crimes are as following:
Assault of a TBD employee, assault, attempted homicide, attempted second degree homicide, assisting in attempted homicide, assisting a criminal, theft, theft of TBD equipment, possession of illegal weaponry, possession of illegal time weaponry, possession of illegal time crafts, possession of a time pocket opener-“
“Wait I don’t remember owning that!” Twizzly shouts.”
“Of course you don’t because you lost it in the time pocket you opened. Moving on!”
-
It’s been anywhere from an hour up to 5 minutes and Timekeeper is still reciting crimes. Sonic brought everyone a chili dog, and half of everyone is about to fall asleep. Unfortunately for them, Timekeeper pulls out a blow horn whenever someone even rests their head down.
“Timeline manipulation, timeline intrusion, messing with time, shoving someone into a time pocket, murder, possession of time altering drugs, operating a timecraft while intoxicated, operating a timecraft with drugs in your system and vandalism.”
Everyone in the room breaths a sigh of relief, even Timekeeper looks happy to finally be over with that.
“Now String Gummy, make your opening statement or something.”
“This case is proof that Twizzly gummy is a danger to everyone around her, and should in fact be put in time jail.”
“Hey defense attorney go make your statement on these accusations.”
“…huh?” Toothpaste cookie says, slouching on the chair. “Oh yah uh.. she didn’t do any of that stuff she’s.. uhhh. Hey wait isn’t the prosecutor supposed to state the accusations?”
“I don’t know I always skipped out on jury duty when I was a normal cookie and this isn’t a normal court.”
“Maybe the Judge should stop admitting to crimes!” Croissant hisses at Timekeeper from below. “Whatever.”
“I intend to prove my client is guilty… I mean not guilty!” He corrects himself after Twizzly glares.
“Moving on. Witness time.”
“Alright. I will call in the first Witness, Gingerbrave.” String speaks.
Gingerbrave walks into the room, staring at TK with utter horror and fear.
“Recite what happened when you met Twizzly.”
“Well I was in the dragons valley, and I was with the Mala tribe when all of a sudden a wormhole opened up and she burst out. We got into a huge fight, she was causing a lot of destruction and chaos with her gang and she probably would’ve tried to kill us again if Croissant hadn’t stepped in.” Ginger sputtered out.
“That sounds like a skill issue to me a little bit of electricity doesn’t hurt that bad.”
“Shut. Up. Timekeeper. Continue Gingerbrave.” Croissant speaks quickly.
“She used a lot of weird weapons I haven’t seen before, and was laughing like a maniac. She even admitted that she wanted to kill me and my friends! Of course in the end good prevails over evil but-“
“Mi mi mi mi mi look at me I’m Gingerbrave and I’m sooooo good.” Timekeeper mocks. Croissant glares.
“But.. yeah. Sometimes she comes to my kingdom and she likes to blow things up, like just last week she punted a sugar gnome into the sea. The week before she deleted Custard III’s Roblox account…”
Timekeeper was playing the worlds smallest violin(tm). Croissant throws a gear at her.
“Thank you for your testimony.” String Gummy ignores the chaos. “Anything else you would like to say?”
“Nope.”
“I would like to object to one claim!” Toothpaste shouts. “It was not two weeks ago Twizzly deleted Custard’s Roblox account “Coolestking678” it was actually two weeks and two days ago! The witness is unreliable.”
“Objection that is stupidly specific!” String shouts back.
“The only thing stupid here is your haircut!”
“Tell that to the bottle of whiskey stuck in yours!”
“ORDER YOU SONS OF B***** ORDER.”
Timekeeper shouts.
“Both of you make good points. Call the next witness and Gingerbrave.. idk trip down a flight of stairs or something just get out of my sight.”
“Alright.” String breathes in. “I call in a sugar gnome.” A shaking sugar gnome walks into the room.
“So, what happened?” String asks.
“I was minding my own business and I hear a demonic laugh before I feel a crushing pain. I look at the culprit and a see a deranged women with pink and blue hair. Next thing I know I’m.. sniff… flying into the sea.”
The sugar gnome sobbed. “It was nothing but water for miles.. if Sorbet shark didn’t save me I would’ve been a goner. She deserves to be locked up for a long time.”
“Objection!” Toothpaste says.
The sugar gnome stares at toothpaste.
“There couldn’t have been water for miles. Allow me to explain. A sugar gnome, kicked in the exact spot my client kicked him allegedly, could not have physically sent him that far. Allow me to explain, the force of twizzlys kick combined with the aerodynamics of a sugar gnome and the wind speed of that day could not have caused the sugar gnome to fly into the middle of the sea, rather on the beach or on the shore.”
Toothpaste pulls out a whiteboard of calculations. It’s stupidly complicated but to the naked eye it makes sense.
“Hm. Impressive. Except for the fact your forgot to carry the two in one of the most basic equations.” Timekeeper says.
“Wha-what?”
“You forgot to carry the two and it messed up the entire equation. Allow me to fix it.”
The fixed equations shows that it is, in fact possible for a sugar gnome to be punted into the middle of the sea.
“Toothpaste if you get me arrested i’m breaking out of jail to kill you.” Twizzly hisses.
-
After a few other witnesses:
“Bring out whatever defense you have!” Timekeeper orders Toothpaste.
“Of course. I have one defense, something that will prove my clients innocence beyond a shadow of a doubt.”
“Really?”
“Video footage of all of the incidents!” He exclaims proudly.
He pulls out a tv, showing it to the judge and jury. String gummy stares in confusion.
He puts in a dvd, and the video begins playing.
It’s a crudely animated short series of videos displaying twizzly doing several things. In the first video, a baking soda volcano is the backdrop as a 3D model of Gingerbrave runs over poorly drawn Twizzly. The next video is a gacha life video of a sugar gnome kicking twizzly in a png of the ocean.
“Is this a joke?” String gummy asks.
“Nope. The footage isn’t the best quality but it’s real.” Timekeeper is laughing hysterically as Toothpaste says this.
The next video is, suprisingly an actual video. It’s of a child Twizzly holding an even younger child, accidentally dropping the child, then giving said baby a gun.
“I think that’s enough evidence.” String gummy says. “Wait is that me-?” He is ignored by twizzly being pissed off.
“WHAT IS THAT DOING THERE?” Twizzly yells at toothpaste. “Idk I thought it’d be good proof of your character.” He shrugs.
“It’s enough proof that you, just like String in that video, were dropped as a child.”
-
“Alright if no one has anymore defenses or witnesses, we can start wrapping this up to prepare for the jury to decide.” Timekeeper says. “And for me to get lunch.”
Toothpaste approaches String, before quietly whispering to him:
“Listen buddy, if you drop this case I can pay you good.” Toothpaste wraps his arm around string. String shuffles away, visibly uncomfortable
“I’m not accepting bribes. Especially not in the courtroom where the judge can directly see what you’re doing.”
“Also I was just appointed as the prosecutor, I can’t even drop this if I wanted to.”
Toothpaste pulls out a half drunk bottle of whiskey and a blunt.
“You sure?”
“Where did you get weed?” He says in confusion.
“Oh by the juror stand there’s a jar-“ he points to the directors ashes, before lighting the weed.
String has a look of utter horror on his face.
“Court dismissed. The jury needs to make a desicion!” Timekeeper quickly sputters.
-
“I believe the decision is quite obvious.” Pure Vanilla says.
“Honestly I wasn’t paying attention I’ll go with whatever you guys want.” Sonic yawned.
“FIGHT ME DARK CHOCO-“ Purple yam was screaming. Space donut has purple yam contained in a surprisingly strong donut that it created seemingly out of nowhere.
Dark Choco was staring unamused.
“…I do think that this person is guilty.”
“Let’s just do a raise of hands. Who thinks Twizzly gummy is guilty.” Cookie Jesus from the cookie run comics says.
Everyone raises a hand. Except the urn, Black pearl, fire spirit and purple yam.
“I have no idea what’s going on.” Fire spirit is holding back tears. “JUST SAY GUILTY-“
“OKAY GUILTY-“
Purple yam screams something about how “yah she’s guilty now let me out.”
The urn remains silent.
“Answer!”
“I don’t think it can answer.”
“Don’t worry. I can make it answer.” Sonic walks up the urn and kicks it.
Some dust falls out and blows away pathetically
“I think that counts right?”
“Yah we’ll just say it counts.”
Jungkook in the background is recording a new single, using the screaming of purple yam as background ambience.
“I think not guilty.”
Everyone groans.
“I have an appreciation for Twizzly gummy’s chaos, I don’t think she deserves to be trapped in a time rift for all of eternity.” Black pearl says, a sadistic grin on her face.
“I don’t have enough coffee for this.” Expresso mumbles. I will not mention him again, if you want Expresso cookie content go on his tag that coffee man already has enough fan fics about him. You’re lucky I put him in at all.
“Come onnnn we don’t want to be in here forever.” Fire complains.
“Well I’m not budging! It has to be unanimous!” Black pearl of course did not actually care who doesn’t or does get arrested, she was just enjoying everyone’s anguish.
-
“The verdict has been made.” Timekeeper states.
Everyone is on the edge of their seat, waiting for this thing to finally be over. Twizzly is nervously fidgeting.
“Your honor, may I speak before you make your decision ?” Toothpaste says.
“Sure.”
“There’s a bomb in the courtroom.”
Everyone gasps. String gummy facepalms.
“YOU WHAT” Twizzly screams at him. “Listen I don’t want you getting arrested so I’m creating a diversion.”
“YOU IDIOT THIS IS TIMEKEEPER WERE UP AGAINST-“
“Mhm mhm. Yknow, thanks for that confession. Because now twizzly has an extra charge adddd to her belt. Fun fact, she was one charge away from the whole “time rift for eternity” thing because that’s a very serious punishment that only very few have ever deserved such a fate.” Timekeeper says smugly.
“Wait why did you want to put me in one then?!” Ginger yells.
“Because you’re a ginger and ugly. Anyway. Thanks to this extra charge, I sentence you to-“
“Hold on wait, TK, did you disarm the bomb?” Fire asks.
“No I told String gummy to do it during the intermission.”
“String gummy had been in the bathroom during the intermission to Taylor swift the entire time.” Croissant chimes in nervously
“Oh I forgot I can’t predict him. Well fu-“
BOOM