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Loki attempted a sigh of relief. Attempted, because his breath was somewhat hindered by the dust and sand that obscured his vision and his lungs. As did the shock of being unceremoniously and violently dumped on his back in the middle of, what at first glance, appeared to be a deserted landscape. As a result, his sigh was more of a gasp, followed by a bout of rough coughing.
As much as he wished to remain lying on his back, the destruction of the manacles on his wrists had him gaining his feet rather quickly to survey his surroundings. Blinking at the harsh glare of the sun and the heat on his skin, he still couldn't stop the manic grin that rose on his lips. His exultation over his utterly unexpected freedom was broken only by a group of strangely garbed mortals.
They were watching him warily, though none seemed to recognize him, which meant he would need to enlighten them. He moved to a slightly elevated rock, ignoring the voice in his head that was currently mocking his antics, while he announced himself to the group, which seemed all too keen on ignoring his existence.
He scowled, preparing his seidr to force them to their knees when a crackle of energy snapped his gaze to the side. To his shock, and for lack of a better descriptor, a door, of all things, appeared in the middle of the deserted landscape and several black-clad humans stepped out onto the sand.
"Loki Odinson, Loki Laufeyson, Liesmith, Trickster God, Silvertongue," A dark-skinned woman barked at him in both boredom and derision as the others in her group moved up behind her. "You are hereby placed under arrest for breaking the sacred timeline. You will surrender yourself to the Minute Men immediately for you are now a timeline variant and must be removed from this time and place."
Loki gaped at the woman. In shock, in rage, incredulity... he couldn't quite say. Though he couldn't deny that it took several moments for her words to register, and then he was laughing.
Tears streamed down his cheeks as his chuckles turned into an uncontrollable heaving of his lungs, his mind alight with mirth, the likes of which he hadn't felt in ages. He was still chuckling when the woman began speaking again, but he couldn't hear her over his giggles.
His laughter cut off abruptly when the woman stepped closer and struck his face with a long, black stick which broke in half upon impact. He blinked in shock and disbelief, his eyes narrowing even as his anger rose quickly. He locked eyes with the woman who was staring back at him with rising fear, her own shock plain on her face. She blinked and moved to hit him again, but he was faster. Catching her wrist mid-motion, he squeezed, making her cry out in pain and forced her to drop the bizarre choice of weapon. Her companions moved in, raising their own similar weapons until he squeezed harder, forcing the woman to her knees.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." He hissed, glaring at each of them in turn. "Drop your weapons." When none of them backed off, he squeezed the woman's wrist harder, making her whimper when he felt bones rub together. "Now!"
"Do it!" The woman cried, still attempting to twist out of his grip. "Do as he says!"
The three men paused, none of them happy about what was being asked of them, all placed their black sticks on the ground and took a single step back. Loki smirked and hauled the woman up by her arm, ignoring her protests. He drew a dagger to his free hand, aimed it mere millimeters from her neck and pulled her tight into his chest. "Now then. Why don't we start again? Who in all the Nine are you and why in the Norns should I not kill you all where you stand?"
***
Loki was sitting on a rock, glaring daggers at the four humans whom he'd bound with magic and portaled into a nearby cave. The woman had reluctantly divulged her story only after several more applications of pressure of a violent nature on her person. In turn, she was glaring right back at him. The other three were silent, but that was only because he'd gagged them when they wouldn't stop shouting at the woman to keep silent.
"So this Sacred Timeline." Loki said after long minutes contemplating the validity of her story. "You say that my having the Tesseract has created a... what did you call it?"
"Nexus event." The woman hissed back.
Loki smirked. "Oh yes. Nexus event. And you say that I personally caused this divergent timeline. Yet this so-called Nexus event that you claim is my fault would not have happened, nor been at all possible if not for Stark's meddling with Time."
"Stark has nothing to do with the fact that you are a variant." The woman growled back through clenched teeth.
"No? So you expect me to believe that future Stark and whoever else was with him just gave up, after I stole the Tesseract?"
The woman's eyes widened briefly, but not fast enough that he didn't see the flash of alarm in her eyes. "Ah. It seems you might not be telling the truth."
"Enough!" The woman exclaimed, struggling and failing yet again to get to her feet. "You're destroying the timeline! You have to be pruned before you unleash the multiverse!"
Loki narrowed his eyes. "Multiverse? That does sound serious. Perhaps we should take a little trip and ask Stark what happened to the Tesseract?"
"Nothing happened to it! It went to Asgard as it was meant to and you were locked up as you deserved!"
Ignoring her, Loki hummed and began pacing, tapping one of his newly conjured daggers against his lips. "I somehow doubt that, but what interests me more is how you got here. How mere mortals managed to open a doorway into this Realm, seemingly as easy as turning a key. Or how you expected a mere stick to incapacitate me."
At that, the woman's jaw clamped shut, though she continued to glare at him as he approached her bound form. After a brief search, Loki found what he was looking for in her pocket, turning it over in his hands, a thoughtful look on his face. "I don't imagine you'd simply tell me how this works?"
"Don't touch that!" She shrieked, the glare she leveled him with clearly showed how she wished her stare was enough to kill him where he stood. "I won't tell you anything!"
"No. I don't suppose you will." Loki agreed, kneeling down to meet her cold eyes. "No matter. I have ways of getting what I want." He said as he tucked the device into his pocket before stretching out his hand to touch her forehead. "Now then. Let's see what we can see, shall we?"
***
Thoroughly unsatisfied with the woman's refusal to explain anything or what had really happened to this timeline after he'd stolen the Tesseract, he decided he needed more than just her banshee screeching to figure out what was going on. Reading her thoughts had been remarkably easy, so much so that he suspected it wasn't the first time her mind had been invaded.
Testing that theory, he'd put the other mortals to sleep and read each of their minds as well. He'd planned to do so anyway just to confirm the woman's knowledge, but this would also tell him if all the mortals had had their memories tampered with.
When he finished with them all, he was feeling rather unsettled. All the mortals had altered memories and that just added to the bizarre situation he'd found himself in. He needed answers. First though, he had to learn more about this so-called "authority" the mortals worked for. It was a matter of minutes until he had the device figured out and after ensuring his captives wouldn't wake or be able to escape, he stepped through the doorway and into what he could only describe as madness.
***
Loki returned to the cave minutes after he'd left, still annoyed that a piece of inferior Midgardian science made trekking through time and space remarkably easy. It was a decidedly annoying, but convenient aspect of the device he'd stolen. Yet he was still cursing a blue streak in unbroken Ancient Norse as he stepped into the cave, rousing the four humans he'd left trapped there. All of them startled at the racket he was making, eyeing him with equal parts trepidation and hatred.
"Oh, do shut up!" He snapped before they could speak, glaring at each of them in turn. "I cannot believe anyone swallowed that utter fairy tale you all are programmed to recite! You're all a bunch of mindless sheep! Give you a cause and you all follow along with anything they tell you! Dangle a carrot and the stick they wield suddenly no longer exists, even as they beat you over the head with it repeatedly!"
"What are you talking about, variant?" The woman sneered from her place on the ground. "Are you one of the crazy ones?"
"I could have ruled this Realm with less effort than it takes to deter Thor from an idiotic plan! But doing so would have driven me mad faster than anything else I've endured, if only for how mindless and lazy you all are! Who would ever waste precious time on a world inhabited with humans?! Nothing changes for the better for everyone, just a select few! You all still squabble over the same petty things you've been starting wars over for centuries. What little progress you've made toward civility has been undermined by how polluted your entire planet is, second only to how corrupt and greedy your leaders and corporations are!"
The woman gaped at him where she lay on the floor, while the others blinked back at him in confusion, looking as though he'd lost his mind.
"You're cracked up, that's what you are." The woman sneered.
"That's where you're wrong. I'm more sane than I've ever been. And I'll tell you right now, I am no variant. Never have been, never will be. The only reason I've ever been on your pathetic little list is because I'm a God and not just any god. I am the God of Chaos and your petty little organization cannot function without my existence. Yet you cannot erase me either, or you hasten your own demise. The Universe was born from chaos, not well-ordered plans and formulas and carefully constructed paths, much as many of you all like to tell yourselves. Besides, I told Mobius I would burn it all to the ground, and I did, because despite what everyone likes to believe, I keep my promises! It's not my fault he didn't believe me. The fool."
"By all that's holy, stop talking you self-absorbed pretender! No one cares what a variant has to say!"
"Funny you should say that. Variant."
"What did you call me?!"
"That's right. You're a variant. Everyone working in your little organization are all variants and everything you do is a lie. There is no Loki in Asgard right now because Stark continued further back in this timeline to retrieve the Tesseract from his father. That single act solidified this timeline and created the one we're now living in. But, as I've already mentioned, I am THE God of Chaos! I don't intend to leave my so-called timeline meddling to just that one act."
"You can't! You can't do anything in this timeline, you'll destroy the multiverse!"
"My dear, I am a god and I do what I like. Anyway, it's been... educational. Don't worry, someone will be here soon to collect you and return you to where you came from. The TVA has effectively been destroyed and I must be going."
"What?!" The woman cried, still attempting to free herself and stand up. "What are you talking about? What are you going to do?"
"Anyone who can invent a time machine deserves my respect. More than that, they deserve a much better future than the one your organization deemed acceptable. I intend to change that. Ta-ta now, I have a date with an Avenger, and if memory serves, and it does, because I'm me, I'm owed a drink."
*fin