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The tavern is noisy tonight. Way noisier than usual, Kaeya thinks as he sips his red wine, trying to listen in on the conversations around him, but it all turns into mindless noise and all he can do is stare at the wine glass in front of him, the liquid in it crimson and sparkling and so, so sweet on his tongue. It's irresistible, really – the pleasant buzz, the slight fogginess in his mind, the tension melting away from his shoulders – and, well, there's really no reason to even try to resist, is there? He deserves this at least.
His subordinate is sitting right next to him, trying to joke around with him in an awkward manner, his words clumsy and slurred. Kaeya laughs, not really registering anything that's being said to him, but he does it out of habit – sweet smiles, hollow laughs, words sultry and teasing just enough to leave an impression, but rarely following through. A proven pattern, one to repeat over and over and over until he gets what he wants.
Which – as of now – is more wine.
“Would you be so kind and buy me another glass? The night is still young, after all,” he leans against the table and smiles. His subordinate nods, smiling back.
“Anytime, sir Kaeya,” oh, that's quite adorable, “any chances this will have an effect on my salary, or...?”
Kaeya laughs, this time a bit more genuine. “We'll see,” he says, taking a sip and savoring the taste, “let's just say it can't hurt your prospects.”
He's joking, of course. He would never accept bribery, although the thought of an endless supply of free wine is quite tempting.
His subordinate – he really should learn his name, by this point – gets up and walks towards the bar, presumably ordering more wine for both Kaeya and himself. Diluc frowns a bit, briefly looking over at him – Kaeya gives him a small wave – and nods, apparently acknowledging his order without a fuss.
Watching as Diluc pours his wine, he feels sudden emptiness inside his chest, something horrifyingly hollow and painful. He hates feeling like this. Hates that he's not drunk enough for this. The abrupt rush of loneliness completely wipes the smile off of his face. It's made much worse by the fact that there are so many people around him – people who care about him, even – who are interested in him, who are willing to talk to him about mundane things, who are willing to confide in him.
He can talk all he likes, about work, about the weather, about drinks, he can joke around and flirt and none of it helps to ease the sinking feeling he's been living with for years now, because he refuses to let himself be known ever again. The only person who has ever known him is now glaring at him from across the room.
Averting his gaze, he tries to distract himself by watching the people around him. He can see Rosaria drinking alone in the darkest corner of the tavern, and he feels a sudden urge to go and strike up a conversation, but he quickly denies himself. There's no reason to burden her. She pretends she doesn't see him anyway.
More of his subordinates are crowded at the table across from him, being loud and drunk as usual, laughing and spilling beer on the floor. Kaeya doesn't feel like joining them at all – in fact, he's in the mood for a more intimate conversation tonight, maybe even somewhere away from prying eyes. But all the people around him – both known and unknown – look dull and uninteresting, and with a heavy sigh he begins to accept his fate of spending another evening alone with his thoughts, until a heavy thud right in front of him wakes him up from his dreamlike state.
“Here's your glass, the last one I hope,” Diluc frowns at him, “and can you tell your knights to calm down? They're making a mess. They can clean up after themselves for all I care.”
My, more irritable than usual, I see, he thinks as he takes the offered glass. A small smile returns to his face.
“I'm off the clock. I can't dictate their lives, you know. Besides, this is a tavern. I'm sure you've seen worse.”
Diluc lets out a sigh. “I don't know why I expected you to help me. Just forget it.”
But Kaeya is drunk, and – although he would never admit this – quite desperate, so he grabs Diluc's sleeve, preventing him from leaving.
“I'll help you clean up,” he offers.
Diluc raises his eyebrows, jerking his hand away from Kaeya's touch. “If you're still sober enough to stand by then, then by all means.”
He doesn't believe me. Kayea shakes his head, amused, motivated to prove him wrong.
-
He spends the rest of the evening with idle chit-chat, pacing himself (and even ordering water at some point), lazing about, far more relaxed than a few hours ago. Whether it's the alcohol buzz or the promise of spending time with his childhood friend – even if it's just for a little while – it puts him in a significantly better mood.
Time drags, but the tavern slowly grows quieter and colder. It's past midnight when he's the only one left, surrounded by silence. He starts to feel shy, but he's aware that he can't back out now.
Slowly standing up, the room spins around him, but it's not as bad as usual – he steadies himself and then it's fine, it's fine, he's been worse and this is nothing new to him. Once he regains his balance, he walks towards the bar, smiling at Diluc.
“Hi there,” he greets again, this time quiet, almost whispering. Diluc looks at him, unimpressed.
“Did you offer to help me just so you could bother me?” He asks, tilting his head.
Kaeya laughs. “My, am I really that predictable?” He leans against the bar. “Besides, you are very fun to annoy.”
“If that's how you feel, you can leave.”
“Come on, don't be like that,” Kaeya whines, “I meant it when I said that I will help you.”
Diluc stares at him for a while. Then he nods. He tosses a wet rag at him, none too gently.
“Go clean the tables,” he orders, “and bring the leftover drinks to me. I'll do the dishes.”
“What a fun night,” Kaeya complains, but he grabs the rag and goes to do as ordered, starting at his own table – only fair, he thinks as he scrubs at the wine stains – and continues in relative silence. The atmosphere is suddenly heavy, the air strangely humid, and his head spins a bit as he tries to concentrate on his work.
He grabs a half empty glass and walks towards Diluc, but as he reaches him, he bumps into something – the bar, a loose wooden plank, who knows – and drops the glass.
It shatters across the floor, glass shards like crystals, red wine already seeping into the ground.
Kaeya curses, quietly, and avoids Diluc's gaze.
“What did I say?” Diluc scolds him, his tone harsh. “I said you could help me if you're sober enough. You can pay for this, by the way.”
“How clumsy of me,” Kaeya attempts to recover, “I'll clean it right away, don't worry. No need for your harsh words, Master Diluc.”
“I should have expected this,” Diluc continues to complain as Kayea drops down on his knees, right in the middle of the pile of broken shards, right in front of Diluc - “if this is how competent you are at your actual job, then I'm not... wait, what are you doing?”
Kaeya attempts to collect the broken glass with his bare hands, and as he shuffles forward, the sharp objects bury themselves into his knees, his calves, his palms. His blood mixes with the wine on the floor.
“Kaeya,” Diluc's voice is suddenly panicked, and Kaeya revels in it. Revels in the worry, the shock, the fear in Diluc's voice.
“Are you worried about me?” He teases, and with a hiss, he shuffles forward, his movements awkward, pain coursing through his body. “I'm touched.”
“Kaeya,” Diluc repeats, appearing at a loss for words. “Kaeya...”
“That is indeed my name, yes,” Kaeya laughs as he removes some of the shards from his palms, and he's kneeling right in front of Diluc now, close, so close -
“Stop, Kaeya, stop,” Diluc protests, “why do you have to make every situation worse?”
“It's my speciality,” he smiles as he reaches for Diluc's belt, feeling bold and high on adrenaline from the pain and the absurd situation. Diluc slaps his hand away, his face twisting in regret as Kaeya hisses, palms bleeding.
“Let me,” Kaeya says, attempting to get Diluc's pants open again, “let me do this.”
“You're drunk, you're injured –”
“Exactly why I need this.”
“You can – I promise I'll let you do whatever you want if you let me bandage you – you need those disinfected –”
“Whatever I want?” Kaeya smirks, wiping some of his blood onto Diluc's pants, “how bold of you, Master Diluc. But I want to do this while drunk, while injured.”
“Why?” Diluc sounds desperate, but he doesn't stop him this time, too out of it to slap Kaeya's hands away for the second time.
“Why not?” Kaeya replies, purposefully agitating. This is what he wants at this moment, so he simply goes for it. Struggling with Diluc's belt, he smirks as he looks up, amused to see him worried, confused, shocked – so many emotions in just his eyes alone. It makes him shiver.
“Just let me do this. You'll have fun, I promise,” he mumbles as he finally gets the other's belt off, letting it fall on the ground, a soft thud echoing through the empty room. “My mouth is the best in Mondstadt, or so I'm told.”
Diluc is rendered speechless by that.
Kaeya manages to slip his fingers under Diluc's waistband, slowly pulling his pants down together with his underwear, trembling a little – he wanted to do this for so long. Months upon months of unrequited desire are now catching up to him and he grows impatient.
Diluc's cock finally slips out, flaccid, but still big, and Kaeya's mouth waters at the sight despite its unaroused state. He stares for a while – holding the other's hips steady as he observes the impressive length right in front of his face.
“Don't – don't stare,” Diluc manages to stutter out, his face red with embarrassment.
“But you look so good.” Kaeya laughs. He's enjoying every second of this. “Is it wrong for me to admire you? After all, this is what I've dreamed about a thousand times, so let me enjoy this, hm?”
Diluc falls silent once more, staring at him, face still flushed, but something suddenly shifts in his face, his expression darkening, a flash of something painful appearing in his eyes.
“If you wanted to enjoy this, if you wanted to take it slow, then...” He inhales sharply, burying one gloved hand in Kaeya's hair. “I would have made it so good for you. If it were up to me.”
Kaeya is taken off guard a bit, and he hisses as Diluc's hand tightens in his hair.
“I would have – fuck, Kayea, I would have taken you back to the winery, to my bedroom – to our bedroom – and – I would have made love to you all night, worshipping you–”
He grabs the base of his cock and rubs it against Kaeya's cheek, finally hardening, and Kaeya moans at the contact, at Diluc's words –
“But you had to ruin it, didn't you? Dropping on your knees on the filthy ground in a fucking tavern, bleeding all over, offering yourself like this, drunk out of your mind–”
“I didn't know,” Kaeya protests. This night wasn't turning out to be what he wanted at all. “Diluc, I didn't know –”
“Of course you didn't know, but you could have talked to me. Like a normal human being. Like a friend. Now you'll get what you asked for. Open your mouth.”
Kaeya ignores the dull ache settling in his chest once again and does as told, slowly opening his mouth and looking up, trying to not look desperate, but it's too difficult in this position with his mouth offered up for the taking.
“Keep looking at me,” Diluc orders, “and stick out your tongue.”
Diluc's words are heavy, laced with poison, and Kaeya obeys as if in a trance. No longer in control, he can only do as he's told – and he wants to relish letting go but he can't. He dislikes not having any power over Diluc, and he hates how things turned out.
But this was a hell of his own making.
Diluc rubs the leaking tip of his cock all over his tongue, and Kaeya can't help but moan at the feeling, at the bittersweet taste. He wishes so badly he could control the pace, to slowly tease Diluc until the other is begging him to take him deep into his mouth, but the hand tangled in his hair holds him firmly in his place, and he can't even turn his face away.
He shifts on his knees and new, sharp pain courses through him once again.
“You wanted this,” Diluc reminds him, and Kaeya moans in agreement. He did want this. He still wants this.
There's nothing he can do now anyway. He might as well accept this strange situation and enjoy taking what he's given.
He carefully closes his mouth around Diluc's cock – a silent permission – and stays still, waiting for the other to move.
And Diluc doesn't disappoint.
Slowly – way too slowly for Kaeya's taste – he begins to thrust in and out, shallowly, coating every inch of his tongue with his precum, making him taste him as much as possible. It feels good. So good that Kaeya can't stop moaning, quiet little sounds emerging from within his throat. Even though he can't do much like this, he still tries to move his tongue, caressing the underside of Diluc's cock as much as possible, eager to show off his skills, but being denied as the fist in his hair tightens and suddenly he's being pushed forward.
He knows what's coming, so he takes a deep breath and tries to steady himself, momentarily closing his eyes, attempting to keep his composure, but his head is swimming, mind dizzy, numb from alcohol and arousal alike.
“Keep your eyes on me,” Diluc reminds him, and Kaeya tries. He blinks rapidly and looks up again, stern eyes piercing into him, but he can also see the blush, the slight quiver, the visible impatience in the other's face.
Bracing himself, he tries to relax his throat as Diluc's cock pushes in deep, slowly, carefully, until his nose is buried in red pubic hair, inhaling the arousing scent of the other man, and his eyes roll back into his head as he's being used.
It's not how he prefers it. But being held down, being fucked into, becoming nothing but a tight, wet hole for Diluc – it was appealing in its own right, he could not deny that.
They both wish things had been different. But here they are, so they might as well enjoy this while it lasts.
Diluc releases the grip in his hair and grabs his face instead, letting his cock slip out of Kaeya's mouth entirely.
“Why am I not surprised that you're able to do this?” Diluc asks, his tone softening to his usual deadpan, no longer harsh, not aiming to hurt, but to tease instead.
“Are you impressed?” Kaeya says, his voice hoarse, “I can do so much more, if you let me-”
“No.”
“Diluc,” he whines, entirely too childish given the situation.
“I don't know why I'm being so soft on you,” sighing, he grabs the base of his cock once again and brings it towards Kaeya's lips, “clearly you like being treated terribly.”
“I do,” Kaeya agrees, not even sure if he's telling the truth, but if it means Diluc will be mean to him, then he's willing to say anything, “please, use me, fuck my throat until I'm crying, hit me, just – don't stop –”
“Archons, Kaeya.”
And then his mouth is full again, and Diluc isn't holding back this time, fucking into his throat, filling him entirely, and all Kaeya can do is stay still, moan, drool pathetically around the thick cock in his mouth, saliva dripping on the floor, mixing with the blood and the wine and the filth.
“Fuck, fuck, Kaeya –” Diluc's hips stutter as he gets closer to his orgasm, and if it were up to Kaeya, he would prolong this as much as possible, teasing and bullying Diluc's cock by pulling off and edging him until he's begging for release – but he's not in control, so all he can do is accept this.
Accept this being over so quickly.
He reaches down and rubs himself through the fabric of his pants, moaning around Diluc, choking slightly as a particularly hard thrust catches him unprepared, but it only heightens his senses and he feels like he's on fire, every inch of his skin sensitive to an unbearable degree, pain from the glass shards buried in his knees almost paralyzing, the cock down his throat suffocating him as he feels like passing out from the sheer arousal unlike anything he's ever experienced.
Diluc quickly pulls out, moaning loudly as he strokes his cock mere inches from Kaeya' face, quick and rough and desperate. Kaeya opens his mouth once again in a silent plea.
Soon, Diluc is coming all over his face, broken moans leaving his mouth as he coats Kaeya's lips, cheeks, nose, eyelid, even getting some into his disheveled hair. Kaeya relishes in the feeling of Diluc's cum on his skin and in his mouth. It's warm and sticky and so, so good, and he never wants to wipe it off.
“This is... this is a good look for you,” Diluc finally says, breathless, gently stroking his cheek with his thumb, gathering some of his come and pushing it into Kaeya's mouth. He looks out of it, orgasm drunk, a slight tremble in his hands as Kaeya closes his lips around the thumb and greedily swallows the remnants of Diluc's offering, cherishing every drop.
They stay like this for a moment, trying to catch their breath.
And then Diluc seems to snap out of it. He retracts his hand, clearing his throat.
“I'm sorry for being rough,” he says, barely a whisper. Kaeya shakes his head.
“Don't be. I asked for this, remember?”
“You did ask for it,” he agrees. “Archons, Kaeya, the things you do to me...”
Kaeya's heart starts beating faster at that, even though he just engaged in the most depraved of acts, it's these simple words that make him flustered beyond belief.
“Diluc...”
“Get up, I'll patch up your wounds. Slowly, don't hurt yourself any more.”
“There's no need...”
“Kaeya, you are bleeding all over the floor. There certainly is a need.”
“It's barely a scratch,” Kaeya protests weakly, but eventually accepts Diluc's help and slowly gets up, wincing in pain. They somehow stumble towards the closest table and Kaeya sits down, feeling dizzy, filthy and exhausted.
“I'll go get medicine,” Diluc announces. Kaeya nods, too tired to protest.
As he waits, a hazy memory resurfaces in his mind, old and distant, and he feels a sharp pang of nostalgia. They were in a similar situation like this before, but it was the other way around – it was Kaeya who went to fetch medicine while Diluc stayed on the ground with a bleeding knee and barely concealed tears in his eyes.
“It's okay, you can cry,” Kaeya said back then, carefully cleaning the ugly looking wound, “it hurts, I know.”
“We were supposed to go to the beach tomorrow,” Diluc sobbed, rubbing his red eyes with the dirty sleeve of his shirt, “we can't go now.”
“We'll go another time,” Kaeya reassured as he wrapped the bandage around Diluc's knee, “but I suppose Master Crepus will yell at us.”
Diluc smiled a little at that, knowing very well he got himself into this situation by being careless and chasing Kaeya around the vineyard.
“Are you mad at me?” Diluc asked with the most innocent look in his eyes, and Kaeya, despite being excited to swim in the sea for the first time, could not resist the pleading gaze.
He was so cute back then.
“Are you mad at me?” Kaeya asks when Diluc returns with rubbing alcohol and bandages in his hands, trying for a tongue in cheek tone but ending up sounding much more serious. Diluc raises an eyebrow.
“Don't be stupid,” he answers, “take off your gloves and roll up your pants so I can clean your wounds.”
“Yes, sir,” Kaeya obeys, hissing at the feeling of fabric brushing against his sore skin. Diluc takes his palm in his hand, gently removing all remaining glass fragments.
“I am mad at you,” Diluc finally says, frowning a bit as he concentrates. “You and your self-destructive tendencies.”
“I don't have self-destructive tendencies.”
“Stop lying,” Diluc spits out, “at least be honest with yourself.”
“You liked it,” Kayea changes the topic, a bit too clumsily for his taste, but he's too tired for any of his usual intricacies.
“I like you, not what we did,” Diluc admits, avoiding his gaze. Kaeya's heart suddenly feels as if in an iron grip, squeezing mercilessly, the pain in his chest intesifying by the minute.
“So... what you suggested earlier...”
“That can never happen now.”
Ouch. Kaeya winces, passing it off as a reaction to the disinfection in his wounds.
“I've made peace with my past, more or less,” Diluc continues, “while yours is still looming above you like a noose. You spend your evenings drinking and sleeping around, not even bothering to do your job properly.”
Every words is twice as painful as broken glass burying itself beneath his skin.
“Once you sort yourself out, once you gain some self respect, then... maybe...” Diluc's gaze softens. “I just hate seeing you like this.”
“Noted,” Kaeya sighs. What else is there to say? The person Diluc likes doesn't exist anymore, and all of the lecturing and suggestions might as well be a rejection. It hurts, but he expected this. He was prepared for this. And it's not like Diluc is wrong, anyway.
They stay silent for a moment while Diluc finishes bandaging his hands and knees, gentle and careful, still not looking at him.
“Go home, Kaeya,” Diluc finally says, “I'll finish cleaning up your mess, so don't worry about that anymore.”
A horrible, empty feeling sets in his chest again as he nods and slowly gets up, dizzy and numb, steadying himself against the edge of the table.
“Master Diluc is too cruel,” he tries for the last time. A pitiful attempt. “Using me and then sending me on my way.”
“Go home,” Diluc repeats, his tone much harsher than before, “sleep it off. Archons, I hope you remember as little as possible tomorrow.”
“I hope I'll remember everything,” Kaeya says, trying to sound as sly and alluring as usual, failing miserably, “every single second.”
“Good night, sir Kaeya,” Diluc says, effectively ending the discussion. Kaeya sighs.
He leaves the tavern, the night's chill creeping up on him instantly.
As the full moon illuminates his way home, he stumbles across the streets of Mondstadt, feeling emptier than ever before.