Work Text:
oh my god what have i done.
You are is John Egbert, and you are currently sitting in your bedroom, shifting restlessly back and forth. It's pretty much impossible for you to sit still.
At least it's perfectly explainable. You're impatiently awaiting the arrival of your boyfriend, Dave Strider. And for your first date (sort-of), no less.
Letting out a deep breath, you flop backward so that you're laying on your bed. He'll probably be over soon, but first it would be a really good idea to calm down.
Anticipation and a little bit of nerves are making your stomach churn, but at the same time, you're more excited about this than you've been about anything in a long time. Rolling over onto your stomach, you can't help but bury your face into your pillow, and let out a weird strangled cry.
It's pretty hard to believe that Dave is actually your boyfriend now.
This is something you've wanted for longer than you'll ever admit.
And this is going to be your first date.
The doorbell rings.
You sit up, rigid.
is he here already?
The muffled sound of talking drifts through your open door and you run your hand backward through your hair. Yep. That is definitely Dave.
You can hear rapid footsteps ascend the staircase, and you try your hardest not to look startled as Dave glides through the door, into your room.
"Hey," he says, like normal.
"Uh, hey," you manage to reply, almost stuttering.
fuck. why am i so nervous? this is dave and i shouldn't be nervous.
You can't help biting your bottom lip as he walks over and stands in front of you, and something in your stomach buzzes as he offers you a hand up. Taking his hand, you stand as he helps pull you up.
"So."
Raising an eyebrow, you can't help but smirk at his emotionless drawl.
"So," you parrot back.
The corner of his mouth quirks up, and you can tell that he really is happy to be here, with you.
He leans toward you, and your heart feels like it almost leaps up into your throat as he closes the distance between your lips and his. Too bad he pulls away before he actually kisses you, swatting you on the back and forcing a strangled cough from your lungs.
"'Sup, John?"
Choking back more coughing, you give him an out of breath answer.
"Air."
Dave actually grins at you this time, and you just about die as you're hit with a rush of emotions that you weren't exactly expecting. Sure, it's a little different now that he's your boyfriend, but you didn't really expect that it would just make you this happy.
In a spurt of the moment decision, you pull him into a hug.
And then sort-of yelp when he grabs your ass.
"Christ Dave don't do that!"
You realize quickly what you just said, and stumble a little over your words as you add, "at least not when I'm unprepared."
His hands slide back up to your waist, and you can feel him laughing against you.
"So will you be prepared later then?" Dave asks, tickling against your ear as he speaks, raising goosebumps both from the warmth of his breath and the tone of his voice.
"Ma-aybe," you drag out, and you're weirdly tempted to
a) grab his ass right back, with one hand
b) slide the other hand up and under his shirt
and
c) nip at his collarbones and neck
...Oh.
Wow, this is really gay.
You're really gay. Or at least a lot more homosexually-inclined than you even realized before.
You jerk away from Dave pretty quickly at that, and clear your throat. It's pretty clear from the expression on Dave's face (he's actually blushing. You've never seen him blush before. Never.) that his thoughts are probably going in the same direction as yours, and it's pretty much confirmed when he mumbles something about getting popcorn and then coming back upstairs.
You shrug, and it only takes the two of you a short while to have all the popcorn you could possibly want or need.
Still, you're sure your dad noticed. He was eyeing you suspiciously the whole time the two of you were downstairs, like you needed a chaperone even though you were both in his presence. It was, admittedly, actually pretty hilarious, and you figure it's pretty within his rights to be wondering if something's up when your best-guy-friend who you've been friends with for years with is suddenly acting kinda really weird.
Not to even mention your own awkwardness (and the fact that you literally came out to your dad just hours earlier, upon finding out that he was dating bro. It's hit you by now that there could be some pretty horrifying situations with you dating Dave, and your dad dating his older brother. Especially if they were to get married or something. God, no, you don't even want to think about that. After all, that would make you and Dave what, step-brothers?)
oh my god i don't want to be his brother! i want to be in his pants, if anything.
Dave clearly catches your horrified look as he turns back to look at you on the stairs.
"What is it?" he asks in that flat tone that you know oh-so-well, apparently pretty much back to normal by now.
"If my dad ever marries bro, it would make us step-brothers," you blurt out in one breath, and are rewarded when Dave turns slightly green, going even more pale under his freckles.
"Fuck wow that's weird."
He sounds almost alarmed as you, but turns back around and continues walking to your room, and you follow after him, still trying to control your faint nausea.
Snitching up your laptop with your free hand, you make your way over to your bed, where Dave's already waiting, somewhat buried under the covers. There's a free spot right next to him, and he pats it before you get over there and sit the fuck down.
You are close to Dave. You are really, really close to Dave. And there's a tension in the air all of a sudden that's almost electric, and your thoughts are almost shifting back to the same kinds of places they were earlier.
Basically, what you really want to do is pin Dave down against your mattress and kiss him silly.
The problem is, you're not sure what he'd do if that happened.
So instead of seizing the opportunity while you feel his eyes on you (you're almost sure he can tell just what you're thinking about), you clear your throat and open the laptop, typing in the password with lightning-fast speed. (You hope he doesn't notice that your password just happens to be davestridershotass669. Jesus christ you really need to change that. It wasn't really all that embarrassing until you had the actual Dave Strider whose hot ass you'd admired for a good long while sitting next to you. And now it's absolutely mortifying.) He doesn't say anything, just leans his head against your shoulder as you open up Netflix and figure out something to watch.
Eventually the two of you settle on High School Musical, apparently for "ironic" reasons, like always. (It's fairly suspect, however, when you hear Dave vaguely humming along with every single song in the thing. You almost giggle at how adorable it is, but you contain your amusement.) It's only about half-way through when you realize that you could probably actually legitimately call this snuggling.
After all, his left arm is wound around you and his head is on your shoulder and you're leaning against him and close enough that you can hear his breathing. You contemplate whether or not it would be too forward of you to put your hand on his thigh or something, but then just decide what the hell why the fuck not? You're sure that if you manage to do anything that makes him uncomfortable, he'll tell you.
So you press closer and your fingers ghost over his leg, not quite touching, until your hand is close to his knee.
better to be safe than sorry...
He shifts so that his head is off your shoulder and you turn to look at him and his lips have turned up and- oh shit it's apparent that he's trying not to laugh.
The laptop lays abandoned on the bed in front of the two of you. Hitting the mute button, you fix your attention solely on Dave.
"Uh," you murmur, leaning forward a little. "Does this mean I can kiss you?" He bites his bottom lip and you find yourself hypnotized by the small movement until you feel his arm tugging you closer to him, only mildly insistent. The rest of the way to making your mouths meet is entirely your movement, and you hesitate at first, your lips just inches from his.
"Jesus fucking christ John. Just kiss me."
Oh fuck. Your mouth is suddenly a little dry because this is actually happening and it's not just some hollow, dreamed-out fantasy. And your heart feels like it's about to beat out of your chest.
So you kiss him.
Probably harder than you should've because your teeth sort of clack together a little (okay actually a lot) and Dave pretty much grunts as he tries not to topple backward. Pulling away, you curse under your breath.
"Shit shit fuck Dave I'm sorry." Almost smothering a bout of nervous giggles, you swallow. Jesus shit you didn't expect to be this awkward. Especially since this isn't even your first kiss and even that was miraculously a fuckton easier than this.
oh my fucking god i totally screwed that up didn't i. shiiiiiiii-
Your thoughts shatter into a million pieces because Dave fucking Strider's tongue is in your mouth and you weren't expecting that oh god. And- oh god oh god oh god holy fucking shit where did he learn to kiss like this and you think you sort of moan a little into his mouth, but he doesn't seem to mind because he's grabbing at the front of your shirt and pulling you as close to him as he can. You're actually almost overwhelmed already because your senses are racing and you think it's probably more from whatever the fuck it is that's flooding your veins than just the fact that your boyfriend's tongue is in your mouth.
Eventually you have to pull away for air and you're pretty surprised that your glasses didn't click together or get tangled or something. Then it hits you all at once that Dave isn't wearing his shades anymore.
Holy.
Fucking.
Shit.
Even in the dying light of your room his irises still look like they're almost glowing red, but you swallow hard because it's also instantly obvious just how wide his pupils have gone. He's breathing a little hard and his face is flushed and your eyes instantly fixate on the muscles of his neck as he prepares to say something.
But he doesn't. And your gaze flicks up to his face.
He's pleading with his eyes.
And this time you actually whisper.
"Oh."
Hooking a finger into his shirt collar, you pull him toward you until your mouths meet again. Your other hand winds into his hair and Dave is practically trembling against you. The smallest of moans rises up from his throat, and damn you didn't really realize such a little noise could be so hot holy shit.
Almost gasping into his mouth, you play the tongue-tango and you figure your hand must have pulled his hair or something because he fucking whines and you. Are about. To die.
Yep.
That's it.
Dave fucking Strider is officially about to kill you because damn if you won't make it your life's mission to get more of those sounds to come out of him.
As you break away to gasp again, more than a little breathless, Dave licks his lips and shit his eyes are half-lidded and that's about the fucking sexiest thing you've ever seen.
You figure that if when you eventually have the full sex, you will actually pass out or something because you aren't sure you can handle anything much more (at least not just yet oh god.)
Dave looks like he's about to say something because he keeps opening his mouth and when he finally speaks his voice is almost a rasp, low and throaty and goddamn.
"You might want to lock the door."
And from the looks of it, that really might be a good idea.
In less than a minute you've gotten up, closed and locked the door, and are sitting back down on your bed kissing Dave Strider again and this time his fingers are tickling at the hem of your shirt and you're not sure whether he's about to pull it up or slide his hands under it or what. But in any case, you're fine and dandy with anything right now especially because god Dave keeps making these little whimpering sounds and you want more of them oh god oh god oh god-
You gently bite his lower lip with your teeth and he pretty much shudders and goddammit why are you getting so hard already it's not like you've even been kissing for that long but apparently your dick has decided to think differently because it's already gone to boner city and wow it would be embarrassing if Dave were to start groping you in your pants because he's still darting at the hem of your shirt and oh god you really hope that he doesn't.
Wait, wait, nope. You're good.
His fingers (damn when did they get so long and spindly? He has a piano player's fingers, even though you know that you're the only one out of the two of you that knows how to play.) dart up under your shirt, and god his hands are warm and his palms are almost burning against your back as he rubs light circles against your skin.
Dave keeps making little high-pitched noises and you think it's about to drive you insane with want and you're becoming unsure of just what you're going to do with yourself because fucking hell this is literally still your first date and just how far are you going to take this? Especially since now Dave's pulling your shirt off and oh, well, there it goes now a crumpled pile on the floor and in another second Dave's pulled his own shirt over his head and tosses it down next to yours.
He's looking at you again, and you can tell he's trying to figure out how to ask an awkward question. Figuring you can probably guess what it is, you say something first.
"If you're trying to ask like how far we're going to go or something, I'm seriously fine with whatever, so it's no big deal." Shrugging, you continue. "I won't pressure you or anything, I swear! And I don't want to push you into something that you might end up regretting. So yeah. Just like say no or something and I'll stop or you can just tell me what you want right now or something."
Dave's gone very, very still, and your eyes are practically glued to him as you wait for him to say something.
"Egbert, shut up. There's nothing that I'd regret doing with you. Nothing."
Your mouth's gone almost dry, and you're practically having to force yourself to not just completely jump Dave's fucking bones.
"Goddammit," he whispers, and a chill shoots up your spine. Clenching your hands in the sheets, you lick your lips. "Please?"
Nope. You can't handle this anymore.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
In the matter of a second you have him pinned under you on the mattress and oh fuck you realize quickly that he's at least as hard as you are and hell fucking no you're not going to comment on just how fucking large his dick feels against yours because jesus fuck you don't even really know what to do with yourself right now.
Well, it's not like you've ever been in this situation before. Truth be told, with either of your two girlfriends before (count them, two), you hadn't even gotten past first base before they broke up with you.
oh my fucking goddddd-
Any thoughts shoot out of your head as Dave arches up, rutting against you. You're both breathing hard and just the fact that Dave is here and so completely willing to do whatever the fuck you want- well, it's getting to you pretty badly.
Pretty much on instinct, you grind down against him, and are glad for the much needed friction. Fuck you're seriously starting to ache and you really need to get your pants off because damn they're way too tight.
You work them off as Dave tugs at his own, and you press kisses against his throat, resting your lips at his collarbone after trailing them down his neck.
"You okay?" you half-gasp, half-ask, and he nods, just barely.
"Better than okay jesus fuck John please don't fucking sto-" and he sort-of breaks off into a moan as you bite at his neck, hopefully not hard enough to bruise because oh god that would be embarrassing as fuck to explain to your dad.
Oh.
Shit.
You really desperately hope that he can't hear you or something because even though Dave is admittedly the noisier of the two of you, that doesn't mean that you haven't made some highly embarrassing sounds of your own but if you've actually managed to be loud enough for your dad to hear you will fucking die from the utter humiliation of it yep you will literally die-
fffffffuck dave fuck oh my god.
He's managed to snap you out of your thoughts again by simultaneously palming you and kissing you and you're starting to feel all aflame and tingling and it feels really goddamn good but at the same time you're desperate and oh god you kind of really want to fuck him or something because he's practically melting against you but it's still almost not enough and it's driving you nuts.
Dang.
Too bad you don't have any condoms or lube or anything.
It's not like you were expecting to go this far, but you don't really mind or anything, especially when Dave's hips cant up against yours and god he's really fucking beautiful like this. Not like he isn't normally, but right now he's so fucking vulnerable and exposed and his eyes flutter shut as he gives in to the motions of your bodies god and damn you're getting close fast you can feel the building sensation in the pit of your stomach and fucking hell the thought strikes you all of a sudden just how fucking gorgeous it would be to watch Dave while he orgasms-
That alone is pretty much enough to send you over the edge and you silently scream Dave's name before collapsing at his side, almost completely spent. Dimly aware that he's looking in your direction, you watch as he finishes getting himself off, and after a minute you can take in his striking figure as his back arches and head falls back, your name lost in a mess of syllables that you're vaguely sure your dad heard, but can't bring yourself to care about.
After giving him a few minutes to sort-of catch his breath, you wrap your arms around him and pull him close, not even bothering to shuck off your spunk-coated boxers. Nuzzling up to him, you whisper chants of "I love you I love you I love you" over and over again. Dave presses a kiss against your forehead.
"Love you too, John," he says, quiet and soft.
You drift off into a sleepy, hazy kind of state, and only come back to awareness when Dave nudges your shoulder. The light is on in your room, so you figure Dave's been awake for at least a little while. Sitting up, you blink, still bleary, and look at him.
"Hey John, it's starting to get late. I should probably get home."
Oh fuck.
You stare at the clock on the wall and it really is late. Like. Getting close to midnight late. Holy fuck, just how long were you out for? You turn to look at him, tilting your head as you give him the once-over.
"Why don't you just spend the night or something? I mean it's already dark out, and it would be a pain to go home now! I have pajamas you could borrow. ...And boxers if you want, since yours are kind of gross now." Oh god you really need to shower and get out of these nasty boxers, while you're thinking about it.
Plus your dad is probably wondering what the fuck you're doing.
Or he's guessed.
Actually the more you think about it, the more you figure that yeah, he knows exactly what you were doing. You're most likely royally fucked, but at this point, you honestly don't care.
Dave's still not wearing his shades, and you realize just how easy it is to read him when he doesn't have them on. He's definitely seriously considering staying the night.
"I'll call bro, make sure he's okay with it. He can bring me some new clothes in the morning or something."
"That sounds like a good plan." Shifting uncomfortably, you tug at your boxers, and they're pretty much stuck to you ew. "I think I'm going to go rinse off while you do that. I'll only be a couple minutes!" After tugging your shirt and your jeans back on (also grabbing something else to wear in the process), you unlatch your door and start to make your way to the bathroom.
And then your foot hits something, so you look down.
oh my fucking god DAD.
You pretty much shriek like a girl.
There's a box of condoms, sitting right there. And lube. A fucking large bottle of it to boot.
Dave walks over to stand behind you, looks over your shoulder, and actually wolf-whistles.
"That's like prankster's gambit through the roof. Damn. Good job, old man." Clapping you on the shoulder, he retreats back into your room, apparently trying to find his cell.
Prying a note off of the box, you read it, dreading whatever it'll say.
CONGRATULATIONS, SON! TODAY YOU'VE FINALLY BECOME A MAN. WHAT YOU DO WITH DAVE IS YOUR BUSINESS- JUST MAKE SURE TO STAY SAFE.
WITH ALL MY LOVE,
DAD
Well.
Fuck.