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Months seemed to fall away into meaningless oblivion. You spent many of them blankly staring out of windows or off into the distance, wishing so desperately to be anywhere but where you were at the moment. Most people didn’t pay you any mind of course, not knowing you well enough to notice the slight change in your behavior. And you had to give yourself credit. You were exceptional at pretending like nothing had changed. Still smiling and laughing when appropriate seemed to mitigate most people’s concerns, but not everyone was so easily convinced.
“I just know something is wrong, Moonie,” Sun muttered under his breath as he tidied the daycare alongside you. “They haven’t been acting like themselves for a couple of months now. Are you sure I shouldn’t say anything?”
I’m not sure, Moon admitted, but I know asking while they are in a sensitive state could make things worse instead of better. We only knew them for a few weeks before they seemed to change. Maybe this is normal for them, and they were being excited before to make us feel better?
“No, no!” Sun said, reeling back in surprise at his own ferocity and checking to make sure you hadn’t heard him. Thankfully it seemed like you hadn’t, but he lowered his voice just to be safe when he said, “I know you’re skeptical of everyone, Moon, but I refuse to believe that they were only pretending to be nice and happy for the first few weeks.”
Moon only grumbled in response, knowing he couldn’t change Sun’s mind once he made it up. Sun finished cleaning the daycare to his liking before he slowly made his way over to you. “Hello friend!” he said cheerfully, making you jump a little in surprise.
“Oh, Sunny!” you exclaimed, placing a hand over your chest. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there.” You smiled softly, but Sun only frowned in response.
“Are you… ok?” Sun asked softly, reaching a hand out to gently place it on your shoulder. Your smile faltered before falling, your eyes glazing over.
You softly whispered, “What makes you think something is wrong? I’m perfectly ok.”
Sun shook his head, kneeling down so he was at your height. “I wish I could believe you, I really do,” he said slowly. “But I know that you’re not ok. I can see it. Moon can see it. Every single day you come in and say and do the right things, but you’ve changed. Little things that nobody else has noticed, but we do.”
You were frozen, fear slowly overcoming you. “How?” you whispered. “I thought I did everything perfectly. I thought I was perfect. I didn’t mean to mess up, I promise.”
“Woah now, who said anything about messing up?” Sun asked gently, putting both his hands on his shoulders to help steady you. “I’m not saying this because I’m mad. I’m saying it because I’m worried about you. You don’t seem happy anymore, and it’s worrying both of us, Dewdrop. You don’t have to tell us what’s wrong, but we are here to listen if you need it.”
You smiled weakly, backing away from Sun. “That’s sweet, but I’m really fi-”
Attention Pizza Plex overnight staff. The doors are now locked, and will be unlocked at 6 am. Thank you, and have an amazing night.
You turned to Sun in surprise, who was now looking at the floor guiltily. “Dewdrop, I am so sorry. I didn’t realize it was getting so late, but don’t worry! You can stay in my room for the night. It’s nice and safe there, and much cozier than the nap corner.”
“I… thank you, Sun,” you said softly. “Is Moon ok with this?”
Sun paused, tilting his head before chuckling softly. “He said he’s more than fine with it, since sleep is important and all. Do you want to do something while you’re here?”
“I don’t really feel like doing much,” you said, looking away from Sun as if you were ashamed.
“That’s ok!” Sun said cheerfully. “We can get you some pajamas if you want then? And dinner? You haven’t eaten much today. If you want, we could watch a movie or tv together until you fall asleep?”
Your heart swelled with happiness at the overbearing, hyperenergetic Sun being accommodating of your lack of energy. You nodded, and Sun was soon speeding off, presumably in search of clothes and food.
You sighed and sat down, resting your head on your arms at the table. How were you supposed to make the ever happy and bright Sundrop understand that you have seasonal affective disorder, and that this time of year has always been hard for you? Humans rarely understood what you meant when you said you had it. Most of them just said that everyone gets a little bit of seasonal depression, and you needed to learn how to deal with it.
The sound of a small thump on the table pulled you out of your spiraling thoughts, and you looked up to see Sun sitting at the small arts and crafts table directly across from you. You smiled a crooked smile, the sight of the gigantic Sun sitting at the comically small table making you want to smile a real, genuine smile.
“Sorry,” Sun said softly, looking at you with an awkward smile. “This was all we could find for pajamas. They might be too big though.” He held up the shirt and pants he found for you. The shirt had a picture of Moon from his Moondrop candy poster on it, and the pants were red with golden suns patterned across the fabric.
You smiled softly, taking them and going into the bathroom to change. The pants were a bit loose, but had drawstrings for the waist. The shirt was definitely big, but you could deal with it being big.
Sun clapped his hands excitedly as you walked out of the bathroom. “You look wonderful,” he said with a smile. “One of the delivery bots is bringing pizza and Fizzy Faz to our bedroom, so we can head up there now if you want.”
“Sure Sun,” you said with a smile. “How do we get up there though?”
Sun smiled mischievously. “You hold on tight,” he said, giving you a hug. Then you felt yourself being lifted into the air, a laugh bubbling up from your throat.
“It’s like flying!” you said with a laugh. Sun nodded while looking down at you softly, unbeknownst to you. He landed gently on the platform to their room, and Sun slowly gestured for you to come inside. You followed before you gasped, seeing the state of their room.
It was not pleasant. The ‘bed’ was only a pile of blankets and pillows too worn to be used in the daycare anymore. Drawings littered the walls, some covering others with the lack of space. But what caught your attention was the small stuffed animals, placed carefully on a shelf next to the tv.
“You kept them?” you asked softly, walking carefully over to them.
“Of course,” Moon’s deep voice murmured behind you. You hadn’t noticed them switch, but the room was darker than the daycare. “Sun and I really treasure them. They were the first gift you gave us.”
The small golden puppy and black kitten sat side by side, and you could tell that they had been well loved in the months that had passed since you gave them to Sun and Moon. “I’m really glad you like them,” you choked out, hands coming to cover your mouth as sobs racked your body.
Moon said nothing, only moving to hold you softly as you cried. “I’m sorry,” you eventually sobbed. “I don’t mean to cry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Moon said. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Starlight.”
You cried even harder as Moon held you, the seconds and hours blurring together before you knew how much time had passed. “I have seasonal affective disorder,” you said softly when the tears faded. “I know you guys probably don’t understand though.”
“You’re right, we don’t understand,” Moon said softly, turning you to look at him. “But we would like to, if you’re willing to explain it to us.”
And so you spent most of the night talking to Moon about how you felt. How the weather and even holiday decorations made you feel miserable, even though you felt like there was no real reason. And he listened, occasionally asking a question or asking one for Sun. You explained everything the best you could, despite your words failing at points. And to their credit, the boys seemed to understand what you were trying to convey.
At some point you must have fallen asleep, pizza long forgotten on the floor. When you awoke the next morning, you were greeted to Sun’s smiling face as he held you in his arms. And the next morning the same thing happened, as did the next. It became normal for you to stay over with Sun and Moon, their presence seeming to drive away the cold sadness that had plagued you every winter for years.
And they welcomed you. Every night, every week, they welcomed you with open arms, no judgment, and a smile. As spring came and the weather warmed, so did your chillier disposition. You began to stay over less as you didn’t need it anymore, but Sun and Moon had always made it clear that you weren’t only welcome. They enjoyed your presence, so your sleepovers remained a regular occurrence.
After all, they made you feel loved, and you made them feel loved in turn. It was only natural that you would become inseparable.