Work Text:
jae: free ako, ikaw ba?
yuta: may deadline pero ayaw ko gawen lol
jae: kita tayo ng 1? kumain ka na?
yuta: di pa, g
jae: gesi
hindi na kailangan pag-usapan pa kung saan. nauna si jaehyun sa playground kahit mas malayo ang bahay niya dahil mabagal kumilos si yuta. he’ll arrive late, he never arrive on time. there are times when jaehyun would wait for him for hours or yuta would even cancel their plans. jaehyun never gets angry at him for that, he rarely gets mad at him.
magkaiba ang gusto nila. adobo ni aling marie ang paborito ni jaehyun habang sisig ni aling teya ang gusto ni yuta kaya sa playground na lang sila kumakain para magkasama sila.
“libre mo ba?”
“hindi. taghirap din ako.”
“pero nagyaya na kumain sa labas?”
“para masiguradong kakain ka rin.”
patuloy na tumutulo ang pawis nila kahit nasa ilalim naman sila ng lilim naka-pwesto. sanay naman na sila sa init kaya hindi na sila nagreklamo pa at kumain na lang. maya maya kapag nakapag-adjust na ang kanilang balat, hindi na masakit ang tirik ng araw.
“laki ng simangot mo ah.”
“malamang mainet?”
“ows? yon lang ba?”
“hinde.”
“ano?” jaehyun waits. “anong problema natin, babe?”
umirap si yuta. “gago.”
silence hugs them both. pinanood na lang nila ang mga batang naglalaro ng piko, mga walang pakialam kung nasusunog ang kanilang balat. yuta remember those times he was on their shoes, thoughtless about any problems other than losing to his childhood friends.
he takes a deep soundless breath, “hindi ko rin alam.”
“oks po.” yuta’s been like this for almost three years. before, jaehyun used to repeats his question all over again. pero ngayon alam niya nang kahit anong pilit niya, walang masasagot si yuta dahil hindi naman talaga niya alam kung anong problema niya.
“pre, ang hirap. alam mong may problema pero di mo alam kung ano kaya di mo alam kung pano aayusin.”
“just take your time, babe. you’ll figure it out.”
“sakit tuloy ng ulo ko.”
“mas masakit kapag walang ulo.”
yuta glared at him. “weh? try nga natin sayo, tanggalin ko ulo mo?”
“wag naman, babe. edi nabawasan gwapo sa mundo.”
“walang problema. andito pa naman ako.”
umalis sila sa playground nang medyo lumilim na. hawak hawak nila ang pinagkainan, naghahanap ng pagtatapunan.
“ano ba yan, wala pa ring basurahan dito.” reklamo ni jaehyun.
“meron ah.”
“san?”
“yan oh,” turo ni yuta kay jaehyun.
“kaya pala bagay tayo. basurahan ako, basura ka.”
natawa si yuta. “gago! anong klaseng pick up line yon?! kaya ayaw kita sagutin eh.”
“so di mo ko sinasagot dahil panget ako mag pick up line, hindi dahil sa di mo ko love?”
“both.”
nang makahanap sila ng basurahan, napagdesisyunan na lang nila na mag walk trip. ganito ginagawa nila simula pa hayskul kapag walang pera. kabisado na nga nila ang mga pasikot sikot dito. minsan nakakarating pa sila sa katabing ciudad.
“kumusta school?”
“ayaw ko pa rin sa course ko. wag na natin pag-usapan.
“ano gusto mong topic?”
“ikaw na mag-isip.”
jaehyun thinks for a second. “ah panalo argentina, napanood mo?”
“hindi, inantok na ko kagabi. pero nays nga, fairytale ending si lodi messi.”
“oo, minsan lang manalo mga legends sa last tournaments nila kaya beri beri nays.”
“ang galing din ni mbappe.”
“omsim. buhat na buhat niya france. kung ako yon, pinagmumura mura ko mga teammates ko. walang kwenta eh.”
“nag-choke goalkeeper nila. player kase ng spurs.”
“tarantado,” humagalpak si jaehyun.
“baket?”
“basher ampota.”
“critic lang.”
“may spurs player din naman sa argentina.”
“pero hindi siya ang nagdala.”
“sabagay. by the way, nanonood ako ngayon ng drive to survive.”
“tungkol saan?”
“formula one! car racing! panoorin mo, tapos naman na world cup. another sports naman. red bull ang paborito ko.”
“lighting mcqueen lang alam ko.”
“kaya nga panoorin mo!”
“oo na, pag may time.”
“ano ba pinapanood mo ngayon?”
“kakatapos ko lang ng wednesday.”
“maganda?”
“pwede na. nahulaan ko yung plot twists kaya medyo meh para saken— putangina naman, baket green light sa kabilang banda tapos dito red light?” reklamo ni yuta pagdating sa junction. tuwing napapadaan siya rito, palagi siyang bad trip. mali kasi yung sistema ng traffic lights kaya habang tumatawid ang mga tao, may mga sasakyang umaandar pa rin galing sa kabilang kalsada.
nagpatuloy pa sila sa kung ano anong topic. mula sa mga walang kakwenta kwentang bagay hanggang sa mga malalalim na usapin tulad ng politika. dalawang oras na silang naglalakad kaya naupo muna sa tapat ng ilog para magpahinga. hindi naman mabaho kaya ayos na kahit hindi kaaya aya ang view.
“romantic sana to kung hindi brown yung tubig,” ani yuta.
“romantic naman dahil chocolate flavor.”
no one speaks for ten minutes. they love how they could talk anything under the sun, but they love being in silence more. just proves how much they are comfortable with each other’s orbit. kahit wala silang gawin, kahit bored na bored na sila, ayaw pa rin nilang umuwi.
dinantay ni yuta ang sariling hita sa hita ni jaehyun at sinandal ang ulo sa braso neto. he’s heavy, but jaehyun carries him with no complains. if he could carry every weight on yuta’s shoulder, he would as long as yuta holds his hand.
“atheist ako diba?” ani yuta. jaehyun hums, urging him to continue. “i’m gonna confess. sometimes, i still talk to god.”
“oh?”
“yeah. kapag something bad is about to happen and wala na kong magagawa. talking to some god is the only thing i could do. he doesn’t listen but i don’t hate him for it, jaehyun. alam mo kung kelan ako naiinis?”
“hmm?”
“when someone genuinely believes in him, and he lets them down. she deserves a better god, jaehyun.”
“she does.” you deserve better too.
“all powerful, but he is still useless. parang joke time lang.” i love you, yuta. sobra. i might kill myself just so i could be your guardian angel or good spirit that will bless you with every kind thing the universe could offer. “tanginang buhay talaga to, buti na lang meron akong ikaw, diba?” but i do not want to leave you here like she did.
“yep. always.”
“pakiss nga.”
jaehyun laughs. “yan tayo eh. sinasamantala mo ko eh.”
“ayaw mo ba?” yuta rolls his eyes.
gusto . jaehyun leans down to meet yuta’s bottom lips three soft times. palaging gusto . he grabs his body closer then seals their lips again passionately as if they hadn’t kiss in awhile. they do this every time they see each other and yuta love kisses like this. they take his mind off whatever is bothering him.
jaehyun works around yuta's cheek to the pulsing part of his neck while his hands travel under his blouse, touching the piercing located through the skin of his navel. yuta moans, and jaehyun comes back for his lips. for the many times they have done this, jaehyun already learned that yuta’s dominant kisses grow lazy as minutes pass by but it isn’t a sign to stop. so jaehyun just continues to give and give. yuta gratefully receives.
when yuta’s hands slide off from jaehyun’s shirt, jaehyun covers one of them and takes it in his. jaehyun strokes his flushed cheek gently with his free hand before pulling away.
“thanks… kahit lasang adobo.”
“lasa ka ring sisig.” natawa sila sa sariling kalokohan. “di pa talaga tayo sa lagay na to?”
“hindi pa. ang shitty ng mental health ko ngayon, di ko pa kaya mag fully commit.”
“aww but it’s okay, babe. take your time. basta palaging may kiss.”
“gago.”