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Lie Ren never saw it coming.
It was a quiet Sunday morning and he was just relaxing in his dorm, making some healthful, nutritious juice. One day, if he kept trying, his team would appreciate his more controversial recipes and they’d stop asking for pancakes all the time.
Ren’s face lit up with joy and affection as his partner entered the room. He was so focused on her that did not notice the suspicious movement of her backpack.
“Hey, Nora”, he said with a warm smile. “Look, I made some healthful, nutritious juice. Would you like some?”
“Uh… no, thanks. Maybe later.” She went and stood next to him. “You know, Ren, I have a surprise for you too.”
“What is it?”
She put down her backpack and opened it. A puppy sprang out and started running around the room, barking excitedly and wagging its tail.
Ren frowned. There was something off about the puppy, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. It looked so adorable. So affectionate and playful, with its beautiful black and white fur and its glowing red eyes…
Hold up, Ren thought.
“I found it in the Emerald forest”, Nora announced enthusiastically. “I played with it for a long time and it didn’t break, so I decided to keep it.”
She looked so proud of herself for not breaking it. Ren braced himself. He did not want to disappoint her, but someone had to tell her.
“Uh. Nora?”
“Yes, Ren?”
“Do you… realize what this is?”
Nora nodded happily. “It’s a puppy! Isn’t it adorable? I thought we could keep it in our dorm, and it can be our mascot!”
“Nora, this is a Grimm.”
Before Nora could answer, the door opened, and Pyrrha and Jaune entered the dorm.
“Hey guys”, Jaune said. “Oh, cool! A puppy!”
“Isn’t he adorable?” Nora said. “I found him the Emerald forest.”
“Nice!” Jaune said happily. “He can be our mascot!”
“What? No!” Ren said. “Has everyone gone crazy? That’s a Grimm!”
“Don’t get so caught up on these little details, Ren.” Nora patted the puppy’s head. It licked her palm and barked. “Oh, he is so cute. I’m gonna name him Fluffycake!”
Ren took a deep breath. “Jaune. As team leader, it is your responsibility to put an end to this madness.”
Jaune scratched his head. “I don’t know, man. He is pretty cute…”
“If team RWBY has a dog, why can’t we?” Nora asked. “They’re not better than us!”
“Also an excellent point”, Jaune acknowledged. He walked towards the window, muttering to himself. “I could use another secret sidekick. He could fill up for Wonder-Zwei when Ruby has him…”
“… What?” Ren asked.
“Nothing!” Jaune said hastily. “Important team leader thoughts! No interrupting!” Fluffycake, wagging his tail, approached Jaune and nuzzled on his leg. Jaune’s face lit up. “Oh, you are such a good boy! Yes you are! Yes you are!”
“You have got to be kidding me”, Ren said. He turned to Pyrrha. “Pyrrha. You are a mature, intelligent, level-headed person. Surely you’re on my side on this?”
“I don’t know, Ren”, she said doubtfully. “On one hand, I see the reason in what you are saying. As a warrior, as a Huntress-in-training, as a person, I feel it is my solemn duty to protect the people of Remnant from these horrible monsters. On the other hand, look how happy Jaune is.”
Ren took another deep breath. He approached his partner and put his hands on her shoulders. “Nora. Look at me. I want you to focus really, really hard. Okay?”
“Okay!” Nora said cheerfully.
“You. are. a. Huntress.”
“Hell yeah!”
“You are literally being trained to kill Grimm.”
“Damn right I am!”
“This is a Grimm.”
Nora looked at him like he was speaking a foreign language. “This is Fluffycake, silly.”
Ren waved his hands helplessly in the air. “Fluffycake is a Grimm! This is nuts.”
Nora crossed her arms. “So you’re gonna discriminate against him just because he’s a Grimm?”
“Uh… yes?”
“But look how loving and playful he is! He never did anything to hurt you. And yet, you would judge and condemn him based on his species. So who is the real monster?”
“The Grimm! The Grimm is the real monster! It’s an objective fact and not up for debate!”
“Ren, relax”, Nora said pacifyingly. “Have some of this healthful, nutritious juice.”
“I don’t want any nutritious juice! Wait, why does this conversation feel wrong? Nora, please focus. Try to understand. This puppy is a soulless servant of evil. It rose from darkness and feasts on despair.”
Fluffycake rolled over and stuck his tongue out.
“I don’t know, Ren”, Jaune said. “He seems pretty friendly to me.”
“Ren, how dare you speak about Fluffycake like that!” Nora said indignantly. “He just wants a belly rub!”
“How did you even decide it’s a boy? They don’t have – actually, never mind. I don’t want to know. The point is, we can’t keep him.”
Nora’s eyes flashed dangerously. “We’ll see about that.”
A few minutes later, Nora re-entered the dorm, dragging headmaster Ozpin behind her. He was wearing Pumpkin Pete pajamas with a matching night cap, and he was calmly sipping from a cup of hot chocolate that somehow remained unspilled while he allowed himself to get dragged along. Deputy headmistress Glynda Goodwitch, impeccably dressed in professional attire, followed behind them. Her face expressed that she thought she deserved a raise.
“Ah, team JNPR”, Ozpin said casually, as if this was all perfectly normal. “I understand you urgently need my assistance. Miss Valkyrie made it very clear when she barged into my room and threatened to bonk me with Magnhild if I didn’t come with her. It was very scary.”
“Understandable”, Jaune said. “By the way, I like your pajamas.”
“Thank you, Mr Arc. Miss Valkyrie was kind enough to allow me some time to prepare myself, enough to either get dressed or make some hot chocolate. Obviously, I chose the chocolate. I also sent a distress signal to Professor Goodwitch.”
“Oh, cool. Wait, what?”
“Enough chit-chat”, Glynda said. “Let’s get to the point.”
“Indeed”, Ozpin agreed. “So, team JNPR. How may I have the pleasure of assisting you today?”
“I found a puppy!” Nora said brightly. “I named him Fluffycake. But Ren is mean and says I can’t keep him.”
“It’s a Grimm”, Ren said.
“Hm.” Ozpin frowned and rubbed his chin. “A difficult dilemma indeed. May I inspect the puppy in question?”
As if he understood, Fluffycake ran towards Ozpin excitedly. He stood on his hind legs, tail wagging, tongue out and panting. Ozpin patted him on the head.
“Aw, what a cute puppy. Mr Lie, what was your objection again?”
Ren could not believe his ears. “It’s… a Grimm”, he repeated uncertainly.
“Ah, yes. Indeed. It is apparent from the glowing red eyes. Miss Valkyrie, do you have a counterargument to your teammate’s objection?”
Nora cleared her throat. “Esteemed professors. Beloved friends. We are gathered here today to tackle important moral and philosophical questions about the nature of good and evil, as they arise from the existence of this puppy. What makes someone evil? Is it a role they are born into, rather than a path they chose? When we label them as such, interpreting their actions under the light of our own biases and preconceptions, do we not deterministically set the stage for them to fail? And are we not, under these circumstances, ultimately responsible for their inevitable ethical demise? For shame. Is this the society we want to build? Are these the ideals we want to pass to our children? I dream of a world where such prejudices have been defeated, and every living creature is afforded a fair chance to become the best version of themselves. I implore you, help me make that world a reality. Let Fluffycake stay at Beacon.”
Jaune wiped away a tear. “Wow, Nora. Such a beautiful appeal to the best aspects of our humanity.”
“Thank you, Jaune”, Nora said graciously.
“Indeed, a very convincing argument”, Ozpin agreed. “It sounds, as you young people say, legit. Fluffycake is welcome to stay at Beacon.”
“Wee!” Nora celebrated.
“Everyone has gone insane”, Ren said.
Afterwards, team JNPR decided to consult team RWBY, who were Beacon’s resident experts on dog care.
Nora, with Fluffycake in tow, knocked on RWBY’s door. Ruby herself answered.
“Hi guys. What’s up?” Her eyes fell on Fluffycake and immediately brightened. “Oh, cool! A puppy!”
“No!” Ren said, expasperated. “It’s a Grimm! Why does everyone have the same absurd reaction?”
“His name is Fluffycake”, Nora said. “Ozpin said I can keep him.”
“Did you threaten to bonk him with Magnhild?” Ruby asked.
“Initially yes, but after that I gave a passionate speech and everyone was persuaded.”
Ren violently pointed at himself with an expression of disagreement. Everyone ignored him.
“Excellent!” Ruby said brightly. “So what can we do for you?”
“Well, you and Yang have a lot of experience with Zwei, so we thought we’d ask you for some tips on taking care of Fluffycake”, Jaune explained.
“Of course! Come on in.”
Nora happily hopped in, Fluffycake and the rest of JNPR following her. Weiss, who was sitting on a desk in the corner of the room, looked up from her books in annoyance.
“Excuse me”, she said. “Have you no regard for the fact that some of us trying to study? Are you even aware that we have an important test tomorrow? You ought to be ashamed of yourselves! Barging in other people’s dorms, just to announce that this mingy…”
Fluffycake looked up at her and smiled.
Weiss blinked. “Drooling…”
Fluffycake kept looking at her, panting with his tongue out.
“… Mutt is going to live with you forever? Oh, yes he is, yes he is! Oh, you’re so adorable –”
Zwei whimpered.
“Oh, no!” Weiss said, upset. “I didn’t mean it like that, Zwei! Of course you’re still my favorite! You are the best boy and you get all the treats. Yes! Treats! This is how this crisis shall be resolved. Treats must be handed out… at once!”
A few minutes later, Zwei and Fluffycake were playing near Weiss’s bed, while she was giving them treats and telling them they were good boys. JNPR stood staring at her in confusion.
“Wow”, Jaune said.
Ruby rubbed the back of her head. “Yeah, I don’t know what to tell you. She just has this thing for puppies.”
“Where’s Blake?” Pyrrha asked.
“Haven’t seen her all day”, Yang said. “Anyway, you wanted dog care tips, right? It’s very simple. Dogs need lots of love, treats, and belly rubs. If you need to leave them alone for extended periods of time, for example to go on a mission, you have two options. The first is to train them to use a can opener.”
Jaune scratched his head. “A can opener?”
“Yes, all dogs can be trained to use can openers. It’s a scientific fact.”
“Got it!” Nora said, furiously taking notes on one of Weiss’s notebooks. “What’s the second option?”
“The second option is sending the dog to a relative. There is no need to prepare the relative, just pack the dog in a cylindrical container and send him through the mail.”
“Does the container need to be cylindrical?”
“It is the recommended shape, yes.”
Ren raised his hand from the corner he had gone to sit and silently cry. “Grimm don’t even need to eat”, he said through gritted teeth. “Just thought I’d point that out.”
“Indeed!” Yang said brightly. “A very astute observation, Ren. So I guess you don’t actually need to do either of these things. We can probably also skip potty training and giving him his medicine.”
“Aw”, Ruby said. “I like the medicine part, it’s so much fun.”
Pyrrha raised an eyebrow. “It is?”
“Yeah!” Yang said. “You see, one person distracts the dog by telling him how deeply loved and valued he is, while the other shoots the medicine straight into his goddamn mouth.”
“Sounds like a good strategy”, Nora said. “Okay then! Thank you, team RWBY, for your valuable assistance. We’ll be taking off now, but you will be seeing us again very soon. It seems like Zwei likes his new friend, so we should get them to hang out!”
“No”, Blake said.
Ruby jumped into Yang’s arms. “Gah! Blake, where did you even come from?”
“I was always here”, Blake replied dramatically. “Lurking in the shadows.”
“What shadows?” Yang asked, looking around the sunny room in confusion.
“Never mind that. The point is, Fluffycake’s adoption by team JNPR is a spectacularly terrible idea and I am not okay with it.”
Ren jumped up. “Thank you! That’s what I’ve been saying. Finally, another reasonable person!”
“I mean, another dog?” Blake continued. “Wasn’t one enough? Now they’re both going to get drool all over my books… or even worse, request cuddles.” She shuddered.
“Your objection is that he’s a dog?” Ren asked in disbelief.
“Yes. Obviously. What else could it be?”
Ren sat down again and resumed his silent crying.
“Blake, you’re looking at this all wrong”, Jaune said. “Now that there are two dogs, you will have to spend less time with either of them.”
Blake’s cat ears twitched. “I’m listening.”
“I can see that”, Jaune said. “Okay, here’s how it is. One person can take two dogs for a walk. That means whenever Zwei gets a walk from someone in team RWBY, Fluffycake can join and vice versa. Double walks for the dogs, less time either dog spends with you.”
“Okay, I’m sold”, Blake said. “Bye now.” With that, she disappeared into a cloud of smoke.
“Hey, let’s all do something together later”, Jaune suggested. “Maybe a little friendly competition. It will help Fluffycake feel like he’s part of the team.”
“Okay”, Ruby said. “What kind of competition?”
“A race?” Jaune suggested.
Ruby raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“… Good point. A drawing contest?”
“No, because Weiss doesn’t know how to recognize original talent and that depresses me.”
“A team match?”
“With real weapons? That’s too dangerous for the dogs.”
“Then… I have the perfect solution.” Jaune stood tall. It wasn’t much of an accomplishment given that he was competing with Ruby, but still. “Team RWBY!” he said confidently. “We challenge you to a food fight rematch!”
Ruby smirked. Jaune’s sense of security faltered. He did not at all like the way she was looking at him. He briefly wondered whether he was making a mistake.
“It’s on”, Ruby said.
Jaune peeked at the war scene from under the table he was using for cover. He caught a glimpse of rose petals swirling around a violently thrown cake, which ended up splattered against a wall. After ascertaining that no cakes or other projectiles were headed towards him at the moment, he opened his notebook and started writing.
“Dear diary,
I am currently questioning my recent life decisions.
Around me, the food fight rages on. I must say, the food served in this cafeteria is peculiarly durable.
Professor Goodwitch said team leaders need to be comfortable with delegation, so I decided to delegate the fight to my team. They’re doing really well. They’re outnumbered, but it balances out because team RWBY suffers from some synergy problems. Weiss tried to stab Pyrrha with a fish, but Blake jumped on her, took the fish and ran away. I’m not sure where she went.
Fluffycake does not seem interested in the fight. He’s just chilling with Zwei, eating whatever food falls on the floor. I think he’s having a great time. Earlier, Nora tried to prepare him for the fight by teaching him to fetch. She thought he could fetch discarded food items on command, so she tried to train him in advance. It didn’t go well at all. If she threw an actual food item, he ate it. Then she tried with a ball, but he grabbed it and ran away and she had to chase him all the way to the upperclassmen’s dorms. In the end, Coco got out and told her: ‘Nora, stop trying to make fetch happen. It’s not going to happen.’
The fight sounds very scary, but at least I have my good friend Pyrrha to protect me. I love Pyrrha, she is such a bro. Ren is out there fighting, but it’s easy for him because he has Nora to scare people off. It’s pretty obvious Nora has feelings for him. I wonder if he’ll ever catch on. Ren is a good guy but he can be really dense about these things.
The cafeteria is open on weekends and usually pretty full. However, the news about the food fight have spread through Beacon and all of the other students seem to have opted to make alternative arrangements. I just hope the professors will also stay away. I would hate it if –”
The door of the cafeteria opened, and Glynda stormed in. With a few vague swings of her riding crop, she perfectly reassembled the cafeteria into his previous state: a remarkable feat, given that her semblance, telekinesis, should not include collateral cleaning. After she was done, she gave everyone detention and left, muttering to herself something about deserving a vacation.
Ren climbed on his bed and looked at his teammates under the solitary light of his bed lamp. They were all fast asleep, exhausted from the food fight. Ren was also tired; his muscles were aching for some relief, but his worry wouldn’t let him sleep.
Fluffycake had not shown any signs of aggression so far. Ozpin – and, perhaps more to the point, Glynda – had approved of his stay at Beacon. Zwei seemed to like him.
Could Grimm really be domesticated? Ren would never have thought such a thing possible. But Nora kept challenging his definition of possible. He’d known her for so long, yet she kept surprising him with all the possibilities she introduced in his life.
He’d just have to wait and see.
Ren shut turned off his lamp, lied down, and closed his eyes. Then, he felt a small weight land on his chest. He opened his eyes to see Fluffycake’s face a breath’s distance from his own. The puppy’s red eyes were glowing in the dark, but his expression seemed friendly. At least so Ren hoped.
“Please don’t maul me in my sleep”, he said. Fluffycake licked his cheek and curled up comfortably against his chest. Ren sighed.
It had been a weird day.