Archive of Our Own

the cold air bites and claws at bam's reddened skin, and even through all the layers, he can feel the unrelenting chill attempting to settle in his bones.

hunting in the winter months is always a struggle, but this winter in particular finds bam coming home empty handed more often than not.

he supposes he can't blame the animals for seeking refuge from what has been the harshest winter in years, but it makes his job particularly difficult, especially with the increased demand for food following an influx of new people to their village.

a series of random, inexplicable murders have been taking place in the surrounding villages, leaving everyone ill at ease.

his village hasn't been hit yet, but something in the icy night air tells bam they're next.

other than the crunching of bam's boots in the snow and the sound of the deer carcass he drags along behind him, it's quiet.

unsettlingly quiet.

as the young hunter nears his cabin, a strangled cry cuts through the crisp air and strikes his ears.

"don't check." he mutters to himself.
with eyes fixed on the warm glow spilling from his cabin windows, he presses forward.

the first rule of their mountainside village:
if you think hear screaming in the woods,
don't check.

he hears the cry again.
weaker.
pleading.

he can't ignore it this time.

he drops the carcass at his front door and breaks into a sprint towards the mouth of the woods.

the woods are dark, but the moonlight does its best to break through the canopy of pine trees overhead.

by now, bam has long forgotten where the cry had come from, but he runs all the same, his legs moving ahead of his brain.

he thinks he can see a clearing, but before he can bring himself to stop, his foot snags on a thick root sticking out of the ground.

he falls.
it's not a far distance, but he's sure he couldn't have imagined the glint of blue that flashed in his peripheral just before he tripped.

he quickly sits up.

his eyes meet piercing cobalt.
they blink.
once.
        twice.
bam doesn't breathe.

he thinks they're saying something, but bam doesn't hear. he just stares in adulation at icy hair and porcelain skin and the bluest eyes he's ever seen.

"you're beautiful." he whispers.

they blink again, cocking their head to the side with mild confusion. "beau— did you listen to anything i just said? i'm about to kill you." the freezing tip of a sharp icicle is pressed further into his neck for emphasis.

bam only just notices he's been bleeding all over the collar of his brand new coat.

"oh." he frowns.

"oh? that's it? you aren't going to beg for your life?" the other huffs, with a note of exasperation.

"did you kill him?" bam asks, his gaze falling on the body splayed out face first in red dyed snow, a little deeper into the forest. he thinks it's the village fisherman.

"no. i found him like that."

"then do you know who did?"

they pinch the bridge of their nose with bloodstained fingers. "you aren't very bright, are you?"

there's a heavy sigh when they receive nothing but a doe-eyed stare in response. "yes, i killed him."

"why?"

they squint their eyes, visibly contemplating whether they should entertain this conversation any longer. "because i was hungry."

bam stiffens. "...are you hungry now?"

the other stares into bam's wide, golden eyes for what feels like forever, their blank expression giving away nothing.

"no." they mutter, dropping the icicle onto the ground.

a snowy gust of wind causes bam to close his eyes and scrunch up his nose at the snowflakes that catch in his eyelashes. by the time he opens his eyes again, and both the body and the stranger are gone.

*

"ORDER!" the chief bellows above the dissonance of panicked voices. "ORDER!"

the assembly reluctantly simmers down. he speaks again, calmly. "it's only been a couple of days. we can't say for sure mr hoh was killed—"

"what about the blood in the woods?" someone injects impatiently.

"could be from an animal." the chief quickly shuts down the idea.

bam barely pays attention to the meeting. he tries, but his focus slips in and out, memories of the beautiful killer in the woods haunting him everytime he so much as blinks.
it's been this way since that night. every tall shadow, every ripple in a puddle, every small breeze has him searching for someone he shouldn't want to see again.
...does he want to see them again?

"bam's hut is near the woods."

bam jolts out of his daydreaming. he looks up to find the whole village hall staring at him.

suddenly, bam feels guilty. like he's done something bad. he supposes he has. he should've said something by now. he wonders why he hasn't.

bam never lies.
he's pretty much incapable of it. he doesn't lie and he can't keep secrets, so why does he feel like he should keep this secret a little longer?

"did you see anything, bam? two nights ago? or hear anything, maybe? anything you can remember would be helpful." the chief encourages, his tone pressing but benign.

bam swallows thickly.
he should tell the truth.
he will.
he opens his mouth to confess about the blue stranger, but the 'no' that leaves his own mouth shocks him. he wants to correct himself, but he finds himself doubling down, even going as far as to shake his head firmly.

the chief just looks at him for a while, and bam fights the urge to recoil under his gaze. the man's expression soon neutralises. "right. come to me if you see anything."

bam nods. he hopes his face isn't as red as it feels.

"...'s her." the old woman who lives by the lake mutters, shaking her head. "...i knew it...'s her, i saw her..."

"there she goes again."

the chief hushes the crowd to hear her. "who is it, mrs hara? who did you see?"

"...'s her. yuki-onna. she's back. she's back and she'll kill us all." the old woman croaks, scratching at her arms with increasing distress. "she'll kill us...she'll kill us all..."

"...the snow woman?" the chief murmurs, more to himself than to the assembly. bam swears something like dread crosses his face, but it's gone as fast as it came.

the old woman by now has fallen into a confused state, babbling incoherently about snow and ice and blood and something about her husband. she shrieks at the baker's wife's attempts to comfort her, shaking like a leaf despite wearing many layers. it takes two people to guide her out of the hall.

the chief clears his throat. "it's just folklore. mrs hara has always been superstitious." he reassures them. bam thinks the man is trying to reassure himself. "we'll keep searching for mr hoh, in the meantime, keep out of the woods. this meeting is adjourned."

* 

bam pulls his bow back, eyes locked in on the buck lapping up the water of one of the few unfrozen lakes left in the forest. beside it sits a doe, long eyelashes dusted with snow as it's face rests on the frosted grass.

he hasn't seen any deer for at least a week now, let alone two right in the open. he takes a deep breath, his exhales coming out in white puffs in front of him. if he aligns his target well enough, he can kill it in one shot. it won't feel a thing. with this in mind, he prepares himself to release the arrow.

"i've never known a hunter's hands to tremble before a kill." a smooth, silvery voice whispers by his ear.

bam's heart stutters, but he doesn't flinch.
he takes a shaky breath and releases the arrow.
it strikes the buck right in the centre of its forehead. almost immediately, its legs give out and it crashes to the ground. the female deer bleats, staggering to its feet and galloping away.

"i don't kill for sport. i kill because i have to." bam says, strapping his bow onto his back. he turns to face the stranger, and finds them standing closer than he anticipated. he notes that they don't leave footprints.
"i assume you're the same? that's why you killed mr hoh?"

they consider it, lips in a small frown. "no." a half shrug. "i did it because i wanted to."

bam blinks at them, seeming rather confused at their answer. "are you yuki-onna?"

they appear taken aback, eyebrows furrowing. "where did you hear that?"

bam tries not to stare at their canines.
they're stark white and pointed, not much longer than his own, but much much sharper.
"from an old woman. i figured she was talking about you."

"they think i'm a woman?" the stranger asks, slightly amused. a sigh. "they've probably mistaken me for my mother. all the better for me i suppose."

bam has too many questions to ask. he wants to ask them all, but he has a feeling this person isn't planning to stick around for a chat.
he decides to go with what he feels is the most pressing matter. "what's your name?"

"...aguero." the other answers, guardedly. bam has given them no reason to be suspicious, but the hunter's childlike friendliness makes him wonder if he's really as naive as he seems, or if it's all just a very convincing act. for now, he settles on the former.

"that's a pretty name." bam beams. "mine's—"

"i know your name, bam." they mutter distractedly, eyes darting around the forest like a fox on high alert.
he stiffens at the faint sound of voices by the west entrance of the forest.

"...hey, why didn't you kill the doe? the village is short on food, isn't it?" he keeps his cobalt eyes trained on the source of the noise.

"hm? because it was pregnant." bam blinks, as if it was obvious.

"it was pregnant?"

"bam!" a voice calls from behind. bam whips his head around. from this distance, it looks like the baker and the butcher. he waves back, before suddenly remembering he was in the middle of talking to...

when he turns his head back around, he finds no one there.

*

"thanks again, bam, this should last us a least a couple weeks or so." the butcher smiles, helping bam to lift the heavy sack up onto the wooden table. he huffs with the effort and makes a show of wiping sweat that may or may not be there from his forehead.
"the chief thinks we should start rationing. we're into our emergency stock now, and soon it'll be too cold to hunt—"

"i can still do it!" bam perks up, but from the way his nose stays buried in his scarf even in the warmth of the butcher shop, the older man can't help but chuckle.

"i'm sure you can, kid, but even the animals won't want to be out in this kind of weather." he tuts, making his way over to the fireplace.
he grabs a few lumps of charcoal from a basket nearby and tosses them into the dwindling fire.
"besides, we can't have our best hunter getting sick. that just won't do."

he doesn't look away from the growing flames, the orange glow flickering in his dark pupils.
"ice burns too, you know?" he mumbles, low and rumbling as if he'd forgotten he was talking to bam at all.

when the butcher turns around again, his expression is cheerful. "you should start heading home now, it's almost curfew— oh! and remember to take that sack of coal at the door."

"oh, i-i don't need it, really—"

"nonsense! it's the least i can do." the butcher grins, patting bam's back with enough force to send him stumbling forward. he guides bam to the door and drops the sack into his arms. "get home safe, kid." he ruffles bam's hair, causing the hunter to wince from the assault on his formerly neat ponytail.

"and keep out of the woods." he warns gravely.

the door is shut, leaving bam standing alone on the dimly lit porch.

he frowns slightly at the butcher's odd behaviour, but he supposes everyone has been acting rather strangely recently.

mr hoshi went missing 12 days ago.
he went out to milk the cows and never came back.

erik disappeared by the riverbank 9 days ago. he'd been collecting reeds for weaving.
a pile of reeds was found abandoned by the stream.

shortly after, the chief imposed a curfew stating no one should be out after sundown. so far, it appears to be working, but they know better than to celebrate early.

bam buries his hands deep in his coat pockets and makes his way out of the village square. the oil lamps that line the snow-dusted path grow sparse the longer he walks.

his cabin is further away from the rest of the residents, past miss eurasia's farm, over the bridge and a little way up the mountain. it gets lonely sometimes, especially at night, but he doesn't mind it.

it's all he's ever known, after all.

his hut is in sight now. his legs ache and he's so cold, but he's almost home. if he can just—

a freezing gust of wind interrupts his thought process, rushing past his ears and leaving them raw and stinging. his ponytail comes loose, the ribbon teasingly dancing past him as his brunette hair frees itself and tickles his face, waltzing erratically to the breeze's tune.

if it was any other ribbon, he would've just let it go. but the thin, golden ribbon belonged to his mother, and he isn't about to let the mocking winter air steal the only piece he has left of her.

bam makes chase after the ribbon, hand outstretched as he stumbles forwards, the wind behind him tugging him whichever way it pleases. his fingers graze the tip of the fabric before it's yanked in another direction, and bam can't help but feel embarrassed. he looks stupid, caught in a game of tag with a strip of satin, and what's even more embarrassing is that fact he's losing.

maybe it's the humiliation that forces him to chase it into the woods, abandoning the icy trail back to his hut. he was so close too. he's sure the butcher will understand.

bam can barely see it now, and he's about to give up and turn around, when the ribbon snags on a low hanging branch, ending the goose chase. bam almost collapses to the ground with relief, but he decides to save any celebration for the safety and warmth of his home.

he stands on his tiptoes to reach it—

there's a thump behind him, accompanied by the rustle of branches and a groan of pain.
in his distraction, the ribbon floats away again, just out of reach.

bam bites his lip hard, resisting the urge to curse. clearly, whatever dragged him into the woods is not going to rest until it gets what it wants.

he's tired and his muscles ache and he's so cold, but he takes a deep breath and follows the noise all the same.

*

"i'll ask you again, where did you come from? and don't give me that crap about being from the next village, i've been to all the surrounding villages and i would have noticed someone as beautiful as you." the man caresses their face, and the other resists the urge to spit in his.

"i'd almost be flattered if you didn't have your hand around my neck." aguero laughs. his voice is strained and it hurts, but he has an image to maintain. "is this how you treat everyone you find attractive?"

"not everyone. only liars. what's your name?"

"take me out to dinner first. maybe if you impress me, i'll tell you as a treat."

the man's grip tightens. i'm getting under his skin. good.

"still giving me smart answers?" the man chuckles, poorly masking his anger. "there'll be no need for that." he leans into aguero's ear, the rough hairs of his beard uncomfortably scratching their skin. "we can skip dinner and get right to the part that matters." he growls, his free hand impatiently fiddling with aguero's coat fastenings.

okay. maybe not good.

"i've never done it with a man before, but it can't be too different, right?"

aguero's heart drops into his feet, and for the first time in a long time, he feels afraid. he begins to thrash in the man's grip, kicking the parts of him that he can reach in a way that can't help but feel childish.

he should have killed him by now. he's never usually this weak, but it's been ages since he last ate, and maybe it was desperation that made him choose a man twice his size and twice his height to hunt, but he really thought he could—

the man begins to roughly tug down their waistbelt, and aguero shoves down the urge to cry for help, eyes pricking with moisture. this is pathetic, are you really gonna cry? he's just one man, aguero, come on, think, think.

the hand around his neck suddenly goes limp, and aguero's eyes shoot open when he realises his struggling is no longer fruitless. he doesn't even have to push the man off, because the man's large limp frame is dragged off him and dropped rather unceremoniously onto the ground.

aguero's vision soon focuses on wide eyes and frost-nipped cheeks.
they hate how their heart leaps at the sight of chestnut and gold.

"a-aguero, are you alright? did he hurt you?" bam splutters, dropping to his knees and immediately fussing over the other. bam's concern continues to grow when he only receives a spaced-out stare in response.
"aguero?" he shakes their shoulder, jolting the other out of their temporary daze.

aguero can't help but feel a little embarrassed. "i could have killed him, you know." he grumbles, dragging his eyes away from bam's concerned ones.

"i know." the hunter nods carefully. his voice is soft, barely above a whisper, like he's talking to a frightened animal. aguero hates it.

"then did you save me or him?" they hiss. they want to wince at their misdirected anger, but harden their glower instead.

bam blinks, seemingly startled, but it's only a second before his expression softens again. it makes aguero's skin prick with heat. "you're hurt. is it okay if i bring you back to mine?" bam asks gently. aguero wants to point out that bam never answered the question, but the sharp throbbing in his leg makes it hard to say anything at all.

"...i won't heal if i don't eat." they manage, thinly.

"okay. okay. i have food you can..." bam trails off, his eyes widening slightly in realisation. "d-do you..."

"yes, bam. i mean human flesh." he sighs, dragging a hand down his face.

"does it have to be? can't you eat, um, chicken? or mutton? i-i have venison...too...no?" bam's voice grows quiet at aguero's mildly amused expression.

aguero watches bam fidget, a strange warmth rising in his chest. he almost wants to call it cute, but he won't.
because that would be stupid.

"i appreciate the offer, bam, really. it's not that i can't eat regular food, but i'm already weak as it is, it would do nothing to heal me."

"and...eating people would?"

"uh huh."

"okay. um, okay." bam's forehead creases in concentration, visibly wracking his brain for a solution.

aguero caves. maybe it is cute. only a little.
"bam. i'm still bleeding out, you know."

"oh! sorry!" the hunter scrambles to pull off his scarf, taking no time to pass it under aguero's thigh and tie it in a secure knot around the wound.

"isn't he dead? can't i just eat him?" aguero huffs, nodding in the direction of the burly, unconscious man.

"he's not dead, he's just unconscious. and no, aguero, you can't eat him." bam frowns, disapprovingly.

"why not? i'm sure no one will miss him. i certainly won't." he shrugs. "will you?"

"well, i— that's not...it's the principle, aguero." he sighs.

"and what's the principle? that i can't eat ill-mannered, hostile men who assault strangers? or that i can't eat people in general? because i would argue it's no different from killing and eating a chicken—"

"what about blood?" bam pipes up. "if you drank human blood, would that heal you?"

aguero narrows their eyes. "i don't know. in theory, probably."

"then...you can drink mine." bam's expression is determined, and he makes no attempt to look away when aguero pierces through him with icy cobalt.

"no."

"no? b-but why not..."

"can't i just drink his? i won't kill him, i swear."

"you're lying."

"maybe i am, maybe i'm not. give me the benefit of the doubt, at least."

"you- you can't just drink people's blood without their consent—"

"consent? without their consent?" aguero laughs bitterly. he stops himself from saying any more when bam flinches, his eyes growing round and panicked.

"i-i'm sorry, aguero, really, i didn't mean—"

"i know. it's fine. i don't want to see that guy anymore. how far is your hut from here?" he mutters boredly, thumping his head back against the rough trunk of the tree. he knows exactly how far bam's hut is from them, but he decides not to frighten the poor hunter any more than he already has.

"it's not far, just 5 minutes or so. i'll carry you there." bam slides an arm under aguero's knees and wraps another around their back, but before he can lift the other up, they begin to squirm indignantly.

"hold on, hold on! i never said i needed you to carry me! i can walk fine!" aguero protests, swatting him away. bam thinks aguero's cheeks look pinker than usual.

he begins to drag himself up, his perfect features scrunched in a pain-marked grimace.
"are you sure you're—"

"i'm fine." they snap, limping towards the mouth of the forest. bam hastens after them.

the pair don't get very far before aguero weakly collapses against the bark of the nearest tree, breathing laboured and shallow.

"should i..."

aguero begrudgingly shelves away his pride. "...please." he mutters sheepishly.

the hunter barely waits for him to finish, scooping aguero up into his arms with a surprising amount of ease for someone of his size.

aguero would prefer to die a million times over before he ever let anyone see him in such a pathetic state (much less a human), but it's warm here in bam's arms and he's so tired, so he'll let his exhaustion take the fall for the shameful way he buries his face in the crook of bam's neck.

his eyelids are lead as he listens to the soft thumping of the other's pulse, and he thinks how he's never wanted to sleep more than he does in that very moment.

nothing good comes from trusting humans. he knows that first hand. but when he remembers kind aurelian and fluffy oak brown, he can't help the soothing warmth that washes over him.
he hasn't felt warmth in so long he was starting to forget what it felt like.

maybe he should let bam remind him.

*

aguero awakes on a golden cloud, and for a moment they wonder if they're dead.

a few seconds to recover his senses and he realises the overwhelming softness cocooning him must be a blanket, the alleged cloud in fact a bed, a pretty spacious one at that— hold on.

aguero jolts upright, forcing his eyes open, vision spotty and heart-rate erratic from its forced jumpstart. he's suddenly hot, too hot, he doesn't know where he is and he needs to get out—

"aguero?" gentle concern and a cold palm on their cheek drags them back down to earth.

molten gold.

bam's concerned frown unblurs in his vision, and aguero blinks a few times, forcing his breathing into a regular pattern.

"i fell asleep." aguero mutters.

bam's not sure if he's asking him or telling him. "yes, for a little while. we're back at my hut now." he reassures, with patience that feels endless.

aguero finally casts his eyes around his surroundings. the cabin is surprisingly bare, save for a few tapestries strung up on the walls and various bits of clutter neatly scattered on shelves and tables. a large white fur rug covers the expanse of the floor, but other than that, there is little evidence to suggest this is a hunter's home.
the lack of taxidermy displays strung up to boast 'the victory of the hunt' fits perfectly into what aguero can already gather about bam's nature.
despite its simplicity, however, it still maintains a cosy atmosphere, the fireplace bathing the cabin in an amber glow.

"i changed your clothes. if that's okay."
bam avoids his eye, opting to fiddle with the hem of his own shirt.

"it's a little pointless to ask if it's okay after you've already done it, don't you think?" aguero muses dryly, but the impish smirk that pulls at his lips seems more teasing than annoyed.

they don't give bam a chance to start stammering apologies, because they yawn loudly, stretching their arms above their head.
"do you live here alone?" they hum, sinking back into the blankets and cushions. they know the answer, but they ask anyway.

"yeah. just me."
aguero can't tell if the hunter looks wistful or peaceful. he settles for something in between.

"...has it always been just you?"

"i think so. i can't remember a time when it wasn't."

there's an implied question that hangs in the still air of the hut, but bam doesn't answer, so aguero doesn't ask.

"what happened? with that man? it's okay if you don't want to say." bam cuts into the silence, and aguero knows the question had been on the tip of his tongue since the woods.

"i never usually leave it so long between hunts, but—"
they steal a glance at bam and visibly hesitate, deciding to abandon that train of thought with a slight shake of their head.

"i was desperate so i picked the first person who came through the forest. he was a big guy, probably a labourer, maybe even a warrior. i don't tend to go for those types. married men are the easiest. i don't have to exert much energy, just flutter my eyelashes a bit and go for the kill while their guard is down."

bam nods along, paling a little, but too intrigued to care about the ethical implications. they're long past that point by now.

"my mother taught me that." he says 'mother' with a steelier tone than the rest of the words. there's a small smile on his face, but it looks mechanical and distant.
"i'm nowhere as bad as her though. it's not like i'm stealing husbands. just getting rid of adulterers." they roll their shoulders back with a sigh, wincing just barely from the ache in their limbs.

"i thought i'd be able to. if it was anyone else i would have been fast enough, even as weak as i was. but he felt me coming. he couldn't have heard it, so he must have felt it. i went in for his neck with an icicle, but he caught my wrist and shoved me against a tree. i tried to play it off, that i was lost and mistook him for a threat in the dark, but he didn't buy it. he must have known about the missing people, because he wouldn't relent with the questions. it was probably stupid of me to keep pushing his buttons, but i was hoping he'd get angry enough to lose focus and slip up." he looks irritated at himself. "just a second would have been enough."

"i'm sorry, aguero. about what happened." bam's eyes are genuine and brimming with sympathy, as if he'd heard a story worth his pity and not an account of an attempted murder gone wrong.

aguero can't help but feel a little frustrated. "i was trying to kill him, bam. why would you feel sorry for me? i'm not the good guy here, i'm no better than him."

"i don't think you're bad at all."

aguero's eyes flick up, his pink lips slightly parted with incredulity.

"like you said, it's no different from us killing livestock for food. a grasshopper would think all bluebirds are evil, but to each other they're just birds, and to snakes they're just prey."

his blue-haired guest looks at him in disbelief, uncharacteristically speechless. "do you really believe that? you're a human, bam. i should be your natural enemy." he exhales thinly, head titled like bam's an equation he can't figure out.

bam nods firmly, amber gaze unwavering. "there's no such thing as a natural enemy. enemies are made, not predestined."

aguero hums thoughtfully at that, closing his eyes and wondering what to do with this strange human who's too naïve and too wise.

they try to ignore the voracious hunger gnawing at their insides, threatening to claw through their skin and devour the unsuspecting brunette whole.

he pities the hunter.
he has no idea that he's sitting in the jaws of a shark, fraying self-constraint and a burning curiosity the only things preventing the razor-edged teeth above his head from snapping shut.

"hey, bam?"

"hm?" bam hasn't moved from his spot on the edge of the bed since aguero awoke, hands folded in his lap as if he's awaiting instructions.

"am i the bluebird? or the snake?" he asks distantly.

bam mulls over it for a while.
"neither." he responds. "you're the vulture."

aguero says nothing, staring through him with predatory sapphire eyes and an indiscernible expression.
bam's shuffles in place under the weight of his gaze, his cheeks blossoming pink until rose engulfs the tips of his ears.

"i'm hungry." they say flatly, but bam thinks it sounds more like a command than a statement.

the brunette flinches, just barely.
aguero catches it, because of course he does, his lips tilting up slightly. his eyes glint almost as bright as the stars outside the window, and it reminds bam of the glint of a sharp knife.

"don't look so scared, bam, i don't bite." he grins darkly. his entertainment only grows when bam's lips fall into a frown.

he pushes himself up from where his back rests against the pillows, closing in until he's close enough for his cold breath to fan across bam's skin. the hunter stiffens, but he doesn't move back, even when aguero presses his nose to his pulse.

bam closes his eyes tight and braces himself, but aguero seems to hesitate, unmoving for a few seconds.
"aren't you afraid of me, bam?" they mutter into his skin, quietly, like he wasn't meant to hear it.

bam answers anyway. "no."

"i could kill you, you know." he whispers absently. "i could do it in no time at all." aguero lightly teases a sharp fingernail across the width of bam's neck, as if in demonstration. "just like that."

they slide a hand onto bam's nape, and it burns, flushed against their palm. his scent is intoxicating, dizzying, and they have to remind themself not to devour devour devour devour devour—

"will you?" bam's voice is barely above a whisper.

aguero hums contemplatively, idly dragging his thumb across bam's bottom lip. he hears the soft intake of breath, feels the shiver that shoots through the other's body.
a smirk tugs at the corners of his mouth.

he shouldn't play with his food.

"no." he decides.

"i'll keep you, instead."

bam hisses as cold teeth sink into the base of his neck.

*

it didn't hurt as much as bam had anticipated. aguero must've used some sort of numbing effect, because even now, that area of his skin still feels cold and tingly. he feels a little drained, but it's to be expected, since that's precisely what had happened.

he traces the shape of the bite mark distractedly, his eyes fixed on the rise and fall of aguero's chest, soft breaths escaping parted lips in a regular pattern.

they had passed out almost immediately after, finally succumbing to the bone deep exhaustion bam suspects they had been wrestling for longer than they'd ever admit.

bam feels guilty for staring, but his chest flutters at the inherent vulnerability in aguero's relaxed features and occasional sleep-addled murmurs.
even someone like him— who's all sharp edges, handsomely devilish smiles and venomous charm— in the end is just a tired, lonely creature doing their best to survive.

bam thinks they're similar in that regard.

truthfully, he wants to sleep, but since his bed is occupied, he busies himself by making tea over the fireplace, watching the steam billow out of the metal spout with a high pitched squeal.

"bam?"
their voice is a little louder than a murmur, drawled and raspy instead of it's usual smoothness.

"yes, aguero?"

"aren't you gonna sleep?" they mutter, rubbing at their eyes with the back of their hand.

"i will, when you've rested."

they make a small noise of disapproval at that. "just come sleep now."

bam has never had anyone stay the night before, let alone share a bed with them. his face grows warm at the proposal.

"...are you sure? i-i'm not sure if i should—"

"this is your bed, isn't it?" aguero cuts him off with dispassionate impatience that can only be blamed on his fatigue. "there's plenty of space."
they shuffle closer to the other side of the bed in emphasis.

bam concedes with a nibble of his bottom lip, pattering over to the bed and slipping under the covers.
well, the small part that's left for him— aguero shamelessly hogs the rest of the quilt.

any traces of tentativeness vanish the further bam drifts into slumber, forgotten altogether when he sleepily registers a firm chest pressed against his back.

there's a gentle, fleeting kiss placed on the base of his neck, where the skin is broken.
a low whisper tickles the shell of his ear. "thank you, bam."

bam tries to say something back, but sleep claims its victory and he freefalls into the darkness.

*

when bam wakes up the next morning, he wakes up alone.

he almost instinctively darts his eyes around the cabin in search of pale blue, his heart twisting in his chest when he doesn't find it.

he always wakes up alone, but this is the first time he's ever felt as if someone is missing.

he slides out of bed, trudging over to the sink to wash his face.
he glances up at the mirror, doing a double take when he catches thin gold swaying from his ponytail. he touches the end of it to make sure his sleep-fogged mind isn't playing tricks on him.

his mother's gold ribbon (the one he'd been chasing like a dog after a bone the night before) had, by some miracle, found itself wrapped around chestnut locks and tied neatly into a bow.

he'll have to make sure to thank his miracle when he finds them.

*

the next two weeks crawl by rather slowly.

bam finds that his heart leaps at every glimpse of blue, giddy with the hope of seeing a familiar face.

the village folk have apparently noticed, with lighthearted quips about how he always seems to be looking for something.

sometimes, he finds it.

a swirl of snowflakes flittering above his head,

a few ice-impaled rabbits left at his doorstep,

an icy breeze playfully weaving through his hair.

*

"this is enough for a feast, bam! you having guests over?" the butcher asks jovially, sliding the parcelled cut of meat off of the table and into his arms. he has to use both arms to cradle it, and hunches over a little with the weight.

bam takes it from him, easily balancing it in his palms. "something like that." he chuckles nervously, and he can already feel the heat slowly making its way to his face.

he'd been lucky enough to stumble across a den of wild boars while he was hunting, and since the village is secure on food for at least the next few weeks, he figured it wouldn't hurt to test a theory of his.

the man seems to sense his abashment, because he clasps a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "don't worry kid, i won't ask." he grins knowingly, dashing him a wink.

bam wishes the floor would just open up and swallow him whole.

he burns red, turning on his heel and practically scurrying for the exit.
he murmurs a barely coherent 'thank you', on his way out.

"you get home safe!" the butcher calls after him, and bam can still hear him chuckling even after he closes the door.

when bam gets back to his hut, he makes a beeline for his desk and rummages around for paper and a pen.

he dips the pen in a small pot of ink, hesitating over the paper, as he thinks carefully about what to say.

in the neatest handwriting he can manage:

i'll share, so don't eat my neighbours anymore, please ?

he pouts, staring at the note blankly.

this is silly. he thinks, sliding the paper away from him and leaning back in his chair with a huff.

only one person has gone missing in the last two weeks, and bam no longer knows how he should feel. of course he feels upset and regretful about the people he knows going missing, especially since he knows what fate they most likely met.

but he also can't help but feel concerned for aguero. it must be a long time since they last ate, and bam doesn't even know if his blood did much to help.

the thought of aguero being in that state again makes his stomach twist and churn.

bam's eyes fall on the parcel on the table. it's not human meat, but he hopes it'll help at least a bit.

he slides the note back towards himself.

i'll share, so don't eat my neighbours anymore, please ? :)

the parcel is gone from the porch when bam checks the next morning. the note is still there, however, anchored under a rock.

bam picks it up, but there doesn't seem to be any new writing on it. he flips it over, eyebrows furrowing when there's nothing on the back either.

he lets out a surprised squeak when a pair of slender arms snake around his waist and tug him back into a firm embrace.

low and venomous, "since you're so eager to share, bam..."

an icy shudder shoots down bam's spine, his breath audibly hitching in his throat.

"a-aguero..." he doesn't remember when he dropped the note, but he's no longer holding it.

aguero brings a hand up to tilt bam's face to the side, exposing the tanned curve of his neck. "it's healed." he hums, lightly tracing his finger over the ghost of a scar.

bam poorly suppresses a shiver.
"...yeah." he exhales, dumbly.

aguero chuckles fondly, and bam doesn't have to see him to picture the razor sharp smirk across his face.

"while i appreciate the enthusiasm, bam—"

"that's not what i— i didn't mean, i meant that i would share the food. from my hunts." bam splutters out a hurried explanation before the other can misunderstand any further.

aguero releases him, and bam ignores the faint pang in his chest that's gone as fast as it came.
he steps around the hunter to lean on the wooden railing at the front of the porch.

"i'm sure that's what you meant, but i can't live on just animal meat. with both, maybe i..." he trails off with a sigh.

"if you need my blood, i-i don't mind. it's not that i wouldn't share, it's just that not what i meant with the note, but i would still—"

"bam. i get it." they smile, amusedly.

"...um, do you need my blood? you can't have eaten much since then."

aguero looks embarrassed, turning his head to gaze off distantly into the trees. "i've been trying to eat less. you know... fewer casualties." he practically whispers the last word, and bam's shoulders drop guiltily.

"oh." he breathes softly. "but, isn't it hurting you?"

they shrug dismissively. "i'm alive, aren't i?"

bam looks almost hurt by his answer, blinking at him with round, saddened eyes.
"come in?" he offers, indicating towards his door.

aguero flops onto the bed like it's his own, casting his eyes nosily around the cabin.

"you got new paintings. when did you..." the words die in their throat when their eyes fall on bam.

bam has shed his coat and scarf, and apparently half of his shirt. the cream-coloured linen slides off his tanned shoulder, leaving the smooth skin of his collar bare and exposed.

he nervously fiddles with one of the few buttons holding the lower half of his shirt together.

"bam." aguero warns slowly, lidded eyes clouding over with an emotion bam can't quite name.

"i want to help, aguero." certain and unwavering despite the scarlet creeping up his face.
he takes a step closer to the bed. "if you need my blood, you can take it. anything you need, i'll—"

the world blurs past at what feels like light-speed, the hunter's back pressed flushed against the bed, an unrelenting grip pressing his wrists further into the mattress.

"anything i need?" he chuckles daringly, nosing under bam's jaw. "are you sure?" he murmurs into burning skin.

"y-yes."

they lick a stripe wet stripe along his adam's apple, nibbling at the sensitive skin, not deep enough to pierce, but just enough to mark. they revel in the soft whimpers it draws from the brunette's throat.

"you're cute, bam, but i don't think you understand what you're offering." aguero dismisses, pressing a soft kiss to his jaw.

"i do." bam protests stubbornly.

"bam—"

bam grips his pale hair tightly and drags his face up to meet his, colliding their mouths together. it's clumsy and impatient at first, but bam soon yields and lets aguero guide them, lips moulding together perfectly, as if each pair was carefully crafted to fit the other's.

"aguero?" bam pulls away, panting softly.

"yes, bam?"

"...could you stay this time?"

maybe if bam had been in a clearer frame of mind, he would have noticed the sad smile that pulled at the corners of their mouth, eyes dull.

"okay."

*

"you're back already?" aguero asks, as bam closes the front door behind him and sheds his coat, tossing it onto the closest chair.

"i came to grab the rest of the decorations, i'll be going back soon."

"is that why you're taking off your shoes and your coat?" aguero smirks, unconvinced.

bam's already frost-nipped cheeks darken at being caught. "i just...wanted to check on you."

"or, you missed me."

"...a little."

aguero feigns disapproval with a drawn out sigh, but the upwards slant of their lips gives them away. "come here, then."

bam climbs onto the bed, placing a knee on either side of aguero's thighs and settling onto his lap.

"are you really not gonna come to the spring festival, aguero?" he frowns, taking the other's hands and entwining their fingers together.

"you've been keeping me a secret all this time, and now you're telling me to come to the festival? where the entire village will be?" he asks slowly, raising an eyebrow.

"i haven't been keeping you a secret." bam grumbles quietly, slightly embarrassed. "it's just, never come up in conversation."

bam knows his partner can see right through him, especially since they're staring at him plainly, not even bothering to hide their entertainment.

"'it's never come up? so, no one has asked you about these?" he takes bam's chin and tilts his head to expose the purplish marks sparsely littered on his neck, some more faded than others. the top of a healing bite mark peaks through the collar of his shirt.

bam splutters, blushing furiously. "that's—
w-well, it's not completely my fault. you vanish into a poof of smoke anytime anyone else comes even within a mile's radius of you."

"a poof of...i don't do that."

"and, i don't think you like my friends very much." bam mumbles, avoiding his eye.

"what makes you think that?"

"you made endorsi fall in the fountain." he deadpans.

"i did nothing of the sort." aguero says easily. "that's not to say i pity her. she's too touchy." they shrug.

"aguero." bam frowns.

"don't give me that look, bam." he sighs.

bam's glare only hardens.

he jabs bam in the sides, eliciting a distressed squeak and making the hunter double over, hugging himself protectively.

"i won't make your friends fall in the fountain anymore." he emphasises each word pointedly. "happy now?"

"or any other body of water." bam adds, hesitantly lowering his arms.

he regrets it when aguero jabs his sides again. like clockwork, he squeaks again, swatting at the other indignantly. he supposes he should have seen it coming.

aguero laughs airly at bam's stormy expression.
he leans forward and plants a kiss on the tip of bam's nose. "or any other body of water. promise." he smiles softly.

"okay. good." bam beams, storm subsided.

"whatever. go finish setting up." they huff, seemingly disinterested, but the pink dusting their cheeks betrays them.

bam grins, wrapping his arms around aguero's neck and burying his face in his collar. "it's lunchtime now, everyone will be on a break. you can't rid of me so easily."

"we're just gonna stay like this until lunchtime is over?"

"uh huh."

"bam?" aguero's voice interrupts the comfortable silence, unusually sombre, unfocused eyes fixed on a tapestry strung up on the wall.

"hm?"

"what's your favourite season?"

"um, i'm not sure. i like all the seasons."

aguero hums encouragingly, inviting him to explain.

"i like spring, because all the plants start to grow back and all the animals come out from hibernation, and it's not so cold anymore, even if it's not as warm as summer.

summer's always bright and warm, and people are nicer to each other. it's probably because it's harder to feel down when everything's sunny. the flowers always look so pretty too.

the colours are pretty in autumn as well. the leaves kind of remind me of fire. and it's harvest time, which means the village always has a lot of food, and people tend to feel happier when they have plenty to eat."

aguero listened with fervent jealousy, an irrational resentment clawing at his chest for all spring mornings and summer days and autumn sunsets that kissed bam's skin with rain, caressed his lips with sunlight, embraced him in pinks and ambers.

"i like winter too, because even though its cold, i means i get to warm up by the fireplace, and drink hot drinks, and wrap up in a million blankets...and because i met you in winter."

aguero's heart stutters, his jealousy forgotten for a few moments.
"yeah yeah, sweet-talking will get you nowhere." he rolls his eyes, nipping at bam's ear. the brunette giggles brightly, squirming in protest. "i-i'm not!"

aguero ceases their attack on bam's red-tipped ears, dropping their head onto his shoulder. he doesn't say anything for a while, until he finally whispers, voice thin,

"enjoy the festival for me, bam, okay?"

"okay."

*

aguero isn't there the next morning.
bam doesn't think much of it, aguero likes to disappear sometimes, but he's usually back within a couple of days.

sometimes, when he looks particularly pale, and he insists he doesn't need any more blood despite bam's pleas, he travels far away, all the way to the other side of the mountain. he doesn't tell bam that he goes there to hunt, but bam knows.

as long as they keep their promise not to eat bam's neighbours, he doesn't mind.

aguero still isn't there when bam returns from the festival.

the village always holds a grand celebration to mark the end of winter and the beginning of spring, the festivities beginning early in the morning and going late into the night.

bam is exhausted from a long day of socialising and crashes on his bed, kicking off his shoes and not even bothering to change out of his day clothes. he'll likely wake up to a warm embrace and a kiss on the forehead anyways, so he lets the sleep take him.

*

a month passes, and aguero doesn't come home.

bam waits.
his heart aches at every gust of wind, every slight rustle of branches.

he only sleeps on one side of the bed, with unwavering hope that the space beside him won't be empty when he awakes.

he waits through spring mornings and summer days and autumn evenings, wishes that the rain that kisses his skin was delicate snowflakes,  the sunlight that caresses his lips was an icy breeze, the pinks and ambers that embrace him were silver streaks of moonlight.

he waits until snowflakes begin to break out of the clouds, silently floating down to earth. bam watches with anticipation, face pointed to the sky, the first snowflake landing on his parted lips and melting on impact.

more follow, catching in his eyelashes, his hair, sinking into the fibres of his coat. his chest is filled with giddy excitement as year old memories spill out from where he'd kept them safely tucked away.

he begs the northern winds to carry his beautiful killer back to him.

*

"i've got what you asked for, bam." hwaryun says, handing him the small leather satchel.

"thank you so much, hwaryun." bam smiles gratefully. "do you want anything before you go? i have a teapot on the fire already."

a spiteful gust of wind rattles against the windows, causing the curtains to flap wildly.

hwaryun raises an eyebrow at the display. "thanks for the offer, but i think it's best if i go." she remarks, her eyes fixed on the window.

"oh. okay. have a safe journey. are you sure you don't want me to pay for the—"

"don't worry about it." she interrupts. she turns on her heel and glides towards the door. "you won't need it anyways." the redhead mutters before closing the door behind her with a click.

bam furrows his eyebrows. won't need it?
he doesn't have time to attempt to decipher the cryptic words, because of a sudden clanging sound behind him.

startled, he whips his head around.

his eyes meet piercing cobalt.
they blink.
once.
         twice.
bam doesn't breathe.

"who's the woman, bam?" their voice is cold, tone impatient and eyes steely. bam distantly registers the freezing tip of a sharp icicle pressed to his neck.

"aguero." bam breathes, his golden eyes growing wide. "i knew you'd come back." he whispers with a watery smile. his eyes shine bright with tearful sunlight.

aguero falters, his eyebrows threading together in confusion. "the woman..."

"hwaryun? she's a navigator. i asked her for a map and a compass, so she came here to give them to me." the hunter explains patiently, still smiling brightly at aguero as if the other wasn't holding an icy weapon to his jugular.

"why would you need a map and compass?"

bam flushes pink, averting his eyes to gaze into the fireplace instead. "...to find you."

the icicle slips out of aguero's grip and shatters on impact, sending shards of ice skidding across the floor.

"i-i guessed that if i just waited until winter you'd come back again, but just in case you didn't, i was gonna try and look for you."

a thin exhale. "...you waited?" 

"of course i did, aguero."

"but i disappeared for 3 seasons, bam." he seems almost distressed, eyes thoroughly searching bam's face for any sign of dishonesty.
"no-one ever waits, why would you..."

aguero doesn't notice the moisture silently streaming down their pale cheeks until bam takes their face in his hands, swiping away frosty tears with calloused thumbs.

"i'd wait a hundred lifetimes if i had to, aguero. i'm sure i already have." he smiles warmly, his own eyes glossy with unshed tears. "how can a few seasons compare?"

and so every winter, bam loves with the innocent hope of spring, the unbridled joy of of summer, the selfless devotion of autumn; he loves until he feels his heart will burst with the fullness.

then when the snow starts to thaw, and the bare trees starts to sprout green clusters, he waits.

he waits until the first few snowflakes kiss eager lips and caress rosy skin.

and then he does it all again.