Archive of Our Own

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Crowley can't take it anymore, for two weeks he's been having to work hand and foot to please is hedonist of a husband, I think it's nothing but a hug or a kiss on the cheek for his efforts, and he's sick and tired of not getting at least a little bit of what he really wants, that's sweet angelic ass. So he's decided to make his Angel give him everything he deserves, whether he wants to or not

the front door of the Bookshop is slammed open which interrupts aziraphale reading, when he looks over he sees Crowley looking very unhappy, a smug smile splits aziraphale's lips as he closes the book and gets up from his reading chair walking over teasingly to Crowley, " Crowley, are you here to take me somewhere special, you know I saw the most delicious-looking cake at that wonderful Bakery down the street, could you p" but the angel is interrupted by Crowley grabbing him by the waist with one arm, forcing their lips together in a hungry kiss, the angel barely notices when it's done, but why would you even begin speaking he snapped to attention. " sweet little angel, I've done so much for you, but you give me nothing in return, I intend to fix that, now do be a good angel" Crowley pauses to slip his glasses off "and look into my eyes".

Aziraphale knew instantly what the demon was trying to do and she looked away quickly shutting his eyes tightly," oh don't be like that, you being very rude you know, I just want you to be a good little bunny" Crowley said in his most tempting voice but the angel kept his eyes shut ,the demon gave an agitated grunt before grabbing the angels face and turning it to look at him, the shock caused the angel to open his eyes for a second and that was enough, his thoughts stopped in their tracks and and all he could see was the Demon's eyes glittering like stars,

" that's it, you don't have to think anymore, I can do the thinking for both of usss" the demon hissd," now you're just a cotton headed rabbit, the problem is you don't look the part, I'm going to fix that", the demon snapped his fingers and the angel was suddenly in a baby bluePlayboy bunny outfit, what years were white like his hair, around his neck with a collar that look like a coiled snake, the TV static in his mind was pierced by Crowley's satisfied chuckle, and before the entranced Angel knew it he was in the demons arms being carried up the stairs into a bedroom

they were in the room the demon put the angel down onto his feet again and ordered him to lay on the bed, like a good little bunny he was the angel obeyed, the bed was soft, but the angel could only Marvel at the softness for so long before he felt lips on his face as the demon peppered him with kisses, aziraphale's face goes red at the kisses, he gasps when there's a hand at the crotch of his uniform, before he knows it the panties are being slipped aside and two fingers are plunged into his his vagina, the pleasure almost breaks the spell the demon has over him but it's reinforced when the demon forces him to look in his eyes again, and all he knows is pleasure and all he sees is the demons star like eyes. He's nearly at his breaking point when the fingers a drone away from his hole,his disappointment is quickly abated when the demon plunges his shaft into the Angels willing hole

Crowley Whispers praise into the Angels ear as he screws the angel into the soft bed, the angel just Smiles at the knowledge that he's a good little bunny, after some time of screwing Crowley thrusts one last time and shutters as he comes into the Angels sweet little hole, the angel gives a loud moan as he tightens around the demon shaft, when it's said and done the two lovers lay in post-coital Bliss, the angel had regained his senses and his own will again, and to be honestly he didn't really dislike being under the demons spell, he kind of like being a pet bunny, he still being pampered and all he has to do in return is lay down and be screwed, honestly this was a good arrangement, tapping the demon shoulder to wake him up the angel whispered something into his ear." maybe this is the lingering effects of the spell talking, but I wouldn't be too opposed to you putting me under again if I start acting up" this indecent assaults chuckle from the demon who just passed the angel on the head and goes back to sleep

the angel gives a tire yawn and thinks before he follows " yep, this is going to be fun"

Chapter Text

Aziraphale stood in front of Crowley's apartment door, it's been 2 weeks since the the angel had seen his recently christened boyfriend, and he was worried something bad happened to him

Gathering his resolve he checks if the door is unlocked, it is and he slips in to see the whole apartment darker than usual, he's about to make it where you can see better in the dark when a light comes on and the plant room shining like a beacon

When Aziraphale enter The plant Room he sees that it's over one was Crowley's house plants that have seemingly grown to thanks that shouldn't be able to be contained in the room, but by some miracle Aziraphale suspects to be Crowley's they are

As the Angels mind begins to ruminate on where the demon could be he feels a leafy appendage wrap around his leg, he only has a second to look down to see one of the vines of the plants before he feels others wrap around his other things more quickly. And before he knows it he suspended in the air by floral restraints

He begins to struggle for a bit but it's distracted when he notices a wrestling in the house plant foliage in front of him, in between the leaves and see a pair of familiar golden eyes shining

Aziraphale's relief is short-lived when it turns to confusion when the eyes begin to shift colors from the usual gold to a shifting red and black spiraling pattern, and after that he feels nothing as he stares in a slack jaws daz

The spiraling twin orbs shift closer, and if the angel wasn't enthwalled by said spiraling twin orbs he'd notice that the man shaped being producing said enthwalling spiraling orbs

1. Didn't have a shirt on.

2. Didn't have legs, and in their place a powerful red and black Serpent's Tale.

Soon after the twin orbs that hold the angel in there sway are on front of him botanical binds set him down gently, he thinks he hears a voice say something but his conscious mind is too busy being turned into Angel flavored tapioca to remember any of the words, if he was hands he'd think so his own begin to take off his clothing. And soon he stands bare except for a nice little pair of boxes in the artificial heat of the plant room

He begins to have Feeling Again with a yellow ring is added to the spiraling orbs that keep him intranced, the feeling requires is pleasure as sporadically it appears sending a shock of arousal from his brain to his quickly dampening boxes

Hands grab him by the waist and soon he feels like he's being carried over to a soft surface that the small part of him that still capable of things like knowing identifies as a bed, which if the rest of his brain haven't been turned into Angel scented mush could have sworn wasn't there before

Feels his boxers being slipped down his legs and something hard pressing into the entrance of his recently formed uterus, the intrusion is pushed in slowly sending a rolling wave of pleasure of the Angels spine, when the intrusion is in fully the two man shaped beans crotches are flush with each other and dimly the angel thinks he can feel scales against his feet when he rests them for purchase

Then the appendage pulls out as slowly as it came in, and then back in a little bit faster

And the pattern continues and with each increase in speed the intensity of the pleasure wave sent by the insertion becomes

Until with one last pounding thrust both men shaped beings orgasm simultaneously

...

After some Aftercare and post screwing snack that consists of just Aziraphale eating a piece of cake and quality watching him doing it, the two lovers sit in a bed that isn't in the plant room snuggled up being warmed by both the blankets and their love for each other

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Damian Wayne, the youngest son of Bruce Wayne and Talia al Ghul, was not an easy child to care for. He was fiercely independent and headstrong, and he didn't take well to authority figures telling him what to do. But when his father had to go out of town for business, he was left in the care of his god uncle, Jervis Tetch, also known as the Mad Hatter.

Jervis was an odd choice for a babysitter, given his history as a villain, but he had promised Bruce that he would keep an eye on Damian and make sure he didn't get into any trouble. Damian, for his part, was skeptical of Jervis and his motivations, but he didn't have much of a choice in the matter.

At first, things went relatively smoothly. Jervis tried to engage Damian in activities like board games and reading, but the young boy was uninterested. He was used to being on his own and entertaining himself, and he didn't see why he needed a babysitter in the first place.

But as the day wore on, Damian began to get restless. He missed his father and didn't like being cooped up in the house with Jervis. He started to act out, throwing toys and refusing to eat his dinner. Jervis tried to reason with him, but Damian wouldn't listen.

That's when Jervis had an idea. He remembered how much he had loved tea parties as a child, and he thought that maybe Damian would enjoy them too. He set up a table with teacups and saucers, and he put out a selection of pastries and sandwiches.

At first, Damian scoffed at the idea. Tea parties were for girls, he thought. But then Jervis put on a silly hat and pretended to be the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland. He spoke in a silly voice and invited Damian to join him on a wild adventure.

Damian was intrigued. He had read the book before, and he liked the idea of going on a fantastical journey. So he picked up a teacup and took a sip, and before he knew it, he was caught up in Jervis's storytelling. They went on adventures together, fighting dragons and rescuing princesses.

By the end of the night, Damian was exhausted but happy. He had had a good time with Jervis, and he even admitted that he might have misjudged him. Jervis, for his part, was thrilled to have bonded with his god nephew and to have shown him a different side of himself.

When Bruce returned the next day, he was surprised to find Damian and Jervis sitting together, quietly sipping tea. But when he saw the smile on his son's face, he knew that Jervis had done a good job. And for the first time in a long time, Damian felt like he had someone he could trust, even if that someone was a little bit mad.
...
Terry McGinnis, the Batman of Neo-Gotham, was patrolling the city on a quiet night when he received an alert from the Batcave. It seemed that the Mad Hatter, one of Gotham's most dangerous villains, had a new partner in crime: his daughter, Lenore.

Lenore had inherited her father's abilities as a psychic, and she had been using them to control the minds of innocent civilians in order to carry out her nefarious plans. Terry knew he had to act fast to stop her.

He arrived at the scene of the latest robbery to find Lenore standing in the middle of a crowd of people, her eyes closed and her arms outstretched. She was clearly using her psychic powers to control their minds.

Terry leapt into action, using his high-tech suit to cloak himself in darkness. He snuck up behind Lenore and tried to take her down, but she was too quick for him. She dodged his attacks and sent him flying across the room with a blast of psychic energy.

Terry got back to his feet, determined not to let Lenore get away. He charged at her again, but this time he was ready. He had prepared a special gadget that would disrupt her psychic powers and allow him to get close enough to take her down.

The fight was intense, with Lenore using all of her powers to try to defeat Terry. She created illusions to confuse him, and she tried to read his mind to anticipate his moves. But Terry was a skilled fighter, and he managed to dodge her attacks and land several blows.

In the end, it was Terry's gadget that proved to be the key to victory. He activated it, causing a wave of energy that disrupted Lenore's psychic abilities. With her powers weakened, Terry was able to get close enough to land a knockout blow.

As Lenore crumpled to the ground, Terry breathed a sigh of relief. He knew that Gotham was a little bit safer with her behind bars. And as he headed back to the Batcave, he knew that there would always be more villains to fight, and more challenges to overcome. But as long as he had his wits about him and his gadgets at the ready, he was confident that he could handle whatever came his way.
...

The Rogues gallery of Gotham City was a diverse and dangerous group of villains, but they all shared one common enemy: the Joker. Over the years, the Clown Prince of Crime had caused them no end of trouble, and they had all suffered at his hands in one way or another. Now, they had finally had enough, and they were determined to put an end to him once and for all.

The meeting of the Rogues was held in a dimly lit warehouse on the outskirts of Gotham. The air was thick with tension as each villain arrived, eyeing the others warily. They knew that they were all there for the same reason, but they also knew that they couldn't trust each other.

"Alright, let's get down to business," said Two-Face, his coin flipping restlessly in his hand. "We all know why we're here. The Joker has caused us all enough trouble. It's time we took him out for good."

The other villains murmured their agreement, and Mr. Freeze spoke up. "But how do we go about it? The Joker is notoriously difficult to kill."

Poison Ivy stepped forward, her eyes glittering with determination. "We have to hit him where it hurts. His love of chaos and unpredictability. We have to plan our attack carefully and throw him off his game."

The villains began to brainstorm, each one suggesting different ideas for how to take down the Joker. The Penguin suggested that they lure him into a trap, while Scarecrow proposed using fear gas to incapacitate him. Catwoman suggested using her stealth to sneak up on him, while Bane proposed a brute force approach.

As they continued to plan, tensions began to rise. Old grudges and rivalries resurfaced, and it became clear that some of the villains were more interested in settling personal scores than in taking down the Joker.

Harley Quinn, the Joker's on-again, off-again girlfriend, suddenly burst into the room. "What are you all doing?" she cried. "The Joker is my Puddin'! You can't just kill him like this!"

The Rogues turned on her, angry and suspicious. But before things could escalate further, the door burst open and the Joker himself stepped into the room, cackling maniacally.

"Well, well, well," he said, surveying the room with a grin. "What have we here? The whole gang's come out to play. I hope you've all been planning a big surprise for me."

The Rogues stood frozen, unsure of what to do. But the Joker was one step ahead of them, as always. He had known about their plans all along, and he had come prepared.

In a flash of movement, he produced a large gun from his coat and began firing wildly around the room. The Rogues scattered, trying to avoid his aim, but the Joker was relentless. He laughed and cackled as he shot, his wild eyes flashing with glee.

In the chaos that followed, the Rogues realized that they had underestimated the Joker once again. They had thought that they could plan and plot their way to victory, but the Joker was too unpredictable, too dangerous. They had all fallen into his trap, and they knew that they might not make it out alive.

As they fought for their lives, the Rogues vowed that they would never underestimate the Joker again. They might hate each other, but they knew that they were all united in their fear and hatred of the Clown Prince of Crime. And as long as he was out there, wreaking havoc on their city, they knew that they would always be at war.

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It's a dark and stormy night when Jarvis tetch wakes was a start in a cold dank basement, the last thing he remembers is Michael walking up to him and then nothing

he looks around to see his surroundings look like a stereotypical ancient science laboratory, complete with a metal slab facing away from him covered by white sheet, he grabs his head to squeeze away the fading headache when he noticed was a shock that his hand is sticky and it smells familiar

it smells like brain fluids, 1,000 horrible scenarios run through his head of what Michael had made him do

his scenario Montage it stopped at scenario number 55 when the man he was thinking about is suddenly in front of him his purple suit as perfect as always, just like everything about him is perfect

"why was I handling brains with my bare hands" the blonde asks after Gathering his wits

the Cheshire Cat grin on the brunettes face only widens as he responds, " because you were helping me in creating something very special" he trips out and let me show you as he walks over to the metal slab

the short blonde scampers over to see what Horrors he has helped create, and as the Veil lifts he sees not some sort of monster but the face of a child

" this my friend will be my son, and his name shall be Gregory" the brunette says in a matter of fact tone

the blonde realize in horror that the brain he was handling with the brain of a child, but before he can question where he even got that brain the cat like brunette quills his fears

"don't worry the child who got it from was already dead, and it's the only piece of my creation that's organic"

the confused Hatter only gets out a hum before the brunette presses a piece of Flash on the boy's neck that seems to sink in more than it should, and with that the boys eyes open his eyes dark between the two men before landing squarely on the brunette and letting out a shaky "f- father"

...

Later in the kitchen of Michael's house do you ever sits at a table, also at the table is the rest of the dork Squad, and also Michael's husband Jeremy

turns out the not entirely organic comment Michael made was indicating that all but the brain of his new child was made of robotics, which is being shown very obviously by Michael's only fully Flesh and Blood child, a daughter named Vanessa losing terribly at arm wrestling with the newly existing boy

Jarvis knows he should be having an existential crisis about (if unconsciously) helping in the committing of a Frankenstein but honestly he doesn't care if everyone in this situation is happy then it's okay

so he just sits at the table and eats the macaroni that Jeremy graciously gave them

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Madness Unleashed: Tetch's Servitude
In the dark alleys of Gotham City, a sinister presence stirred. It was an Eldridge Abomination, a creature born from the deepest recesses of madness and chaos. This abomination, known as the Herald of Madness, had been summoned from the dark realms by an unknown force, drawn to Gotham City like a moth to a flame.

As the Herald made its way towards the city, a psychic wave emanated from its presence, causing the already twisted minds of Gotham's residents to spiral further into madness. Among those affected was Jervis Tetch, better known as the Mad Hatter. Known for his obsession with mind control and manipulation, Tetch found himself plagued by prophetic dreams. These dreams were visions of the Herald's arrival and the impending doom it would bring to Gotham.

In his dreams, Jervis saw the Herald as a towering monstrosity, its form ever-shifting and indescribable. Its very presence seemed to devour sanity, leaving a wake of chaos and insanity in its path. The dreams were so vivid and terrifying that Jervis couldn't shake the feeling that they were more than just nightmares. He felt a strange connection to the creature, as if it had chosen him for a purpose beyond his understanding.

As the Herald drew nearer to Gotham, Jervis Tetch found himself compelled to seek out the creature, even against his own will. His mind, already fragile, was no match for the insidious influence of the Eldridge Abomination. The Herald's psychic grip on Jervis grew stronger with each passing day, molding him into its unwilling herald and servant.

Driven by the creature's influence, Jervis began to carry out its bidding. He used his mind control technology and hypnotic abilities to gather followers and create a cult dedicated to the Herald of Madness. These followers, once ordinary citizens of Gotham, now worshiped the creature as a god of chaos, their minds twisted beyond recognition.

The city descended into a state of madness and hysteria. The streets were filled with deranged individuals, driven to insanity by the psychic influence of the Herald. Crime rates soared, and chaos reigned as the creature's power grew stronger with each act of madness.

Meanwhile, Batman, the Dark Knight of Gotham, sensed the growing darkness and knew that something sinister was at play. He tirelessly investigated the source of the psychic disturbance, unaware of the true nature of the Eldridge Abomination behind it all.

As Batman delved deeper into the mystery, he discovered the connection between Jervis Tetch and the Herald of Madness. Realizing that Tetch had become the creature's unwilling servant, Batman made it his mission to save him from the clutches of madness.

With his intellect and unwavering determination, Batman devised a plan to sever the psychic link between Jervis and the Herald. He confronted the Mad Hatter, engaging in a battle of wills and ideologies. Through a combination of psychological manipulation and sheer force of will, Batman managed to break the psychic grip the Herald had on Jervis.

Freed from the creature's control, Jervis Tetch awoke from his trance-like state, his mind battered but his sanity intact. Overwhelmed with guilt and remorse for the havoc he had helped unleash upon Gotham, Tetch vowed to make amends and use his abilities for good.

Together, Batman and the Mad Hatter worked tirelessly to undo the damage caused by the Herald of Madness. They restored order to the city, undoing the chaos and helping those affected by the psychic wave recover their sanity.

Though Gotham City would forever bear the scars of the Eldridge Abomination's visit, the people found solace in the fact that there were heroes like Batman and even the reformed Mad Hatter, who were willing to fight against the forces of darkness and preserve the fragile balance of sanity in a city steeped in madness.

Vampiric Count Conquers Gotham
Once upon a moonlit night, deep within the eerie confines of Gotham City, a dark and ancient presence stirred. Count Vladrick, an immortal vampire who had traversed the centuries, set his sights on Gotham, dreaming of transforming it into his new kingdom. With his mesmerizing powers of mental dominance, he aimed to bend the wills of the city's most deranged and dangerous individuals, the inmates of Arkham Asylum, to serve his sinister purpose.

Unbeknownst to the cunning Count, one inmate remained immune to his vampiric spell. Jervis Tetch, also known as the Mad Hatter, possessed an unusual connection to another vampire master from a bygone era – Jonathan Crane, the Scarecrow. Many moons ago, in the untamed days of the Wild West, Crane had encountered a powerful vampire who had bestowed the gift of eternal life upon him. Through this connection, Jervis had developed a unique resistance to Count Vladrick's dark enchantments.

As the Count delved deeper into the minds of Arkham's inmates, he relished the chaos and darkness that his vampiric control brought upon Gotham. The streets ran rampant with violence as former adversaries became his mindless servants, their twisted minds now solely focused on wreaking havoc. Fear gripped the city as the innocent cowered behind locked doors, their hearts pounding in terror.

But amidst the chaos, a glimmer of hope flickered in the eyes of the unaffected Mad Hatter. Realizing the grave threat that Count Vladrick posed to Gotham, Jervis resolved to break free from the confines of Arkham Asylum and seek out his vampire master, Jonathan Crane, for assistance.

Jervis, armed with his cunning and his deep knowledge of Gotham's underworld, ventured forth into the night. His top hat adorned with a silver cross, he journeyed to the old abandoned mines that Crane had called home for centuries. The dimly lit tunnels held an eerie stillness as Jervis navigated their winding paths, his steps resolute and his mind focused.

Deep within the mines, Jervis found Jonathan Crane, his vampire master, suspended in a state of eternal slumber. The years had not been kind to Crane, but the bond between master and servant remained unbroken. Jervis gently touched Crane's face, awakening him from his centuries-long rest. The Scarecrow's eyes opened, revealing the ancient wisdom they held.

Understanding the gravity of the situation, Crane and Jervis formed an unholy alliance, their shared knowledge and powers united against the vampiric threat. They devised a plan to break the Count's hold over the inmates of Arkham Asylum and reclaim Gotham from his clutches.

With Crane's ability to manipulate fear and Jervis' expertise in mind control, they set out to free the inmates from Count Vladrick's control. Working silently and swiftly, they infiltrated Arkham, maneuvering through shadows and utilizing their combined powers to shatter the vampire's spell.

As the inmates regained their senses, chaos erupted within the asylum. Confusion reigned as the once-subdued criminals fought against the remnants of Count Vladrick's control. Sensing his hold slipping, the enraged vampire appeared before Crane and Jervis, his fangs bared and his eyes ablaze with fury.

But the combined force of the Scarecrow's fear-inducing toxins and the Mad Hatter's hypnotic abilities proved to be too much for the ancient Count. Weakened and disoriented, Vladrick retreated into the night, vowing vengeance upon the dynamic duo.

Gotham City, once again, was freed from the clutches of the vampiric count. The Mad Hatter and the Scarecrow stood as its unsung heroes, their alliance an unbreakable bond. Their presence reminded the citizens of Gotham that even in the darkest of nights, there is always a glimmer of light, a flicker of hope to be found. And so, the legends of Jervis Tetch and Jonathan Crane, the vampire-sired masterminds, echoed through the night, leaving their mark on the storied history of Gotham City.

Dreams of the Master
Jervis Tetch was a brilliant neuroscientist, renowned for his groundbreaking research and discoveries in the field. Day in and day out, he toiled tirelessly in his lab, studying the intricacies of the human brain. But despite his success, Jervis felt trapped in a monotonous and overworked existence. He longed for something more, something that would free him from the chains of his own mind.

Night after night, Jervis was plagued by vivid dreams that consumed his sleep. In these dreams, he found himself transported to the Old West, a time of lawlessness and mystery. There, he was not the respected scientist but instead the servant and lover of Jonathan Crane, a vampire with a dark and commanding presence.

In these dreams, Jervis experienced a sense of freedom and purpose he had never felt before. He relished in serving his master, tending to his needs, and exploring a world filled with danger and desire. The lines between reality and dreamland began to blur, and Jervis became increasingly obsessed with the phantom figure that haunted his slumber.

One fateful night, as Jervis lay awake in his bed, tormented by his dreams, a chill swept through the room. He shivered, feeling a presence looming over him. To his astonishment, there stood the very figure from his dreams, Jonathan Crane himself. The vampire's eyes gleamed with an otherworldly hunger, and his voice carried a commanding authority.

"Jervis Tetch," Jonathan said, his voice laced with an otherworldly charm, "I have heard your pleas, your desires, and your longing. I have come to offer you a life beyond your imagination, a life with me."

Jervis couldn't believe his eyes or ears. His mind raced with conflicting emotions, but deep down, he knew this was the opportunity he had been waiting for, the chance to escape his miserable existence. Without hesitation, he abandoned his old life, leaving behind his lab and his scientific pursuits.

From that day forward, Jervis became Jonathan's devoted servant and lover. He relished in his new role, attending to Jonathan's every whim and desire. They traveled the world together, experiencing the thrill of immortality and the intoxicating power of darkness.

But as the days turned into months and then years, Jervis began to realize the true nature of his decision. He had exchanged one form of servitude for another, willingly surrendering his autonomy to the whims of his master. The once-vibrant scientist had become a mere shadow of his former self, lost in a world of eternal night.

Despite his initial excitement, Jervis grew increasingly aware of the toll his new life was taking on his sanity. Jonathan's presence, once a source of fascination, became a suffocating weight on his mind. The dreams that had once brought him joy now haunted him during his waking hours, blurring the boundaries between reality and fantasy.

Jervis yearned for an escape, a way to regain control over his life. Deep inside, he knew he couldn't continue on this path, shackled to a dream-turned-nightmare. Gathering what little strength remained, he confronted Jonathan and pleaded for his freedom.

To Jervis's surprise, Jonathan, though disappointed, understood his plight. He had lived long enough to recognize the agony of a restless spirit. With a heavy heart, he released Jervis from their bond, allowing him to return to the world he had left behind.

Now free from the clutches of his former master, Jervis emerged from the darkness with a newfound clarity. The experience had shattered his mind, but it also ignited a flame of resilience within him. He vowed to reclaim his life, to rekindle his passion for science, and to find a new purpose beyond the confines of his dreams.

As Jervis Tetch reentered the world as a changed man, he carried the scars of his past, a constant reminder of the dangers of surrendering oneself to another's desires. But armed with newfound wisdom, he stepped forward into the light, ready to forge a future of his own making.

Escape to Eternal Night
Once upon a time in the bustling city of Eastbrook, there lived a trans man named Jervis Tetch. He led a miserable existence, burdened by the weight of his own insecurities and the constant transphobic taunts from his roommate, Barry. Jervis longed for an escape from this wretched reality, a life where he could be free from the shackles of societal judgment.

Little did Jervis know, his prayers would soon be answered, albeit in a rather unexpected manner. One fateful night, as he sat alone in his dimly lit room, a soft knock resonated through the door. Jervis's heart skipped a beat as he opened it to find a tall, mysterious figure standing before him.

The stranger introduced himself as Jonathan, a vampire of timeless allure. Intrigued, Jervis invited him inside, unaware of the profound impact this encounter would have on his life. Night after night, Jonathan returned, captivating Jervis with his enthralling stories and promises of eternal happiness.

Jonathan spoke of a world beyond mortal confines, where Jervis could find solace and acceptance. In this hidden realm, Jervis would be embraced as one of Jonathan's eternally youthful grooms, freed from the chains of his mundane existence.

With each visit, Jervis grew more enamored by Jonathan's persuasive charm. He began to see the vampire as his savior, his path to liberation. Jonathan's words resonated deep within Jervis, weaving a compelling tale of escape from a world that had rejected him.

One moonlit night, under the spell of Jonathan's seductive influence, Jervis made a decision that would forever alter his fate. He willingly surrendered himself to Jonathan's vampiric power, becoming a creature of the night—a blood-drinking monster.

As the transformation took hold, Jervis discovered a newfound sense of liberation coursing through his veins. Gone were the constraints of his mortal existence, replaced by an insatiable hunger and a profound sense of belonging. The torment he once endured at the hands of others melted away, replaced by a newfound confidence and acceptance.

Jonathan kept his promise, surrounding Jervis with a coven of like-minded vampires who understood the struggles he had faced as a trans man. In their realm, Jervis found solace in the company of those who had similarly sought refuge from the cruelties of the mortal world.

With his new vampire family, Jervis discovered a profound sense of happiness and fulfillment. They reveled in the night, dancing beneath the starlit skies, embracing their immortal existence. Jervis no longer yearned for the acceptance of others, for he had found it within himself and his newfound family.

In time, Jervis came to realize that the true transformation lay not in his physical form but in his spirit. He had embraced his identity as a trans man, and with the support of his vampire companions, he learned to celebrate it.

From that day forward, Jervis Tetch became a symbol of resilience and strength. He defied societal expectations and found solace in an unconventional existence, accepting himself fully and living unapologetically.

And as the nights turned into eternity, Jervis, alongside Jonathan and their vampire family, continued to revel in their immortal bliss, bound together by the unbreakable ties of acceptance, love, and shared darkness.

Chapter Text

the warehouse the three men standing is quiet, before them sits a monstrously big crate, from inside is the muffled sound of scales on wood

" remind me, Jervis, why did you do this again" Edward cuts through the silence as he turns his head to the hatter

" I'm honestly not sure, something about that Craigslist I just enthralled me somehow, I was honestly hoping it was just a scam but looking how big this crate is I think what I bought might be real" jervis says, he then tentatively begins walking towards the crate with a crowbar

" well it's a good thing I brought my gun" Jonathan thanks to himself as he passed the gun in his pocket," just in case the thing tries to eat us"

driven climbs on top of the crate and begins working one of the sides open with a crowbar, after some hard pulls it comes loose and falls with an echoing third to the floor

" took you long enough" a voice booms from the darkness of the crate, and not soon after too strong arms pull forward a very familiar face

" Michael!, what the hell are you doing here" Edward says an alarm, and indeed it is Michael, though he looks different than the last time they saw him, for one he's not wearing a shirt

and also he doesn't have legs, and in their place is quite imposing looking Serpentine tale of purple

" well, I was just minding my business visiting the forests of Portugal and then it got captured by some poachers with all that was a big snake, but when they realized I had a people upper half they sold me to a freak Show, I thought I started killing all the handlers they gave me so they put me up for sale on Craigslist, and now I'm here" Michael says quite matter of factly before distending his jaw quite obscenely for a yawn

Travis who would recently guard himself off the crate opens his mouth to begin to speak but is interrupted by Michael," beat off topic but I'm feeling a little bit packaged from all that traveling, would you like to be so kind just bring me someone doing", Michael says before giving the group a self one of his signature cocky smiles, when all they get is quiet staring he lets out a sigh

" pleasesssss" he hisses out and let's hes eyes do the convincing

a smug smile split his lip when a chorus of yes sirs comes from the group of men

...

Dr Hugo Strange sits at his desk in Arkham jotting down therapy logs when there comes a knocking at his door

when you open the door he sees I'm not very convincingly disguised Jonathan crane, who just stands there his eyes vacant and shaded light purple

before Hugo kicking word out a needle is pierced into his neck and he begins to feel faint

he falls to the ground and before he blacks out completely The vacantly Smiling forms of jervis and Edward Loom above him in addition to Jonathan

...

When Hugo finally regains consciousness he finds that he strapped to a table, luckily his head is free, so he surveys the surroundings, he finds that he's been relocated to a sensuously lit room, the walls are bastard was quite fancy looking paintings of a serpentine man creature, most to pick the creature being worshiped by scantily clad servants, mostly male servants, these Illustrated thralls bear striking resemblances to patients from Arkham Asylum, the most commonly depicted all the visitors of his kidnappers

before he can look into any more detail of the room his attention is caught by a metal clinking, when he looks he sees the serpentine beast in physical appearance, he had recently sat down a goblet onto a metal plate being held by Edward, who's dressed in what can best be described as a green bikini

Hugo wants to begin demanding release but the serpent begins speaking," evening morsel, my name is Michael, and you're my dinner"

all in that moment Hugo knows exactly what's going to happen to him, he's going to die and he's scared

"oh don't worry doctor, I won't be swallowing you whole you fall too big for that, I'm only going to eat your legs, so we will need to get them off of you" the serpent snaps his fingers and Jervis who before that moment was violently making out with Jonathan pulls away from his sloppy make out to look at his master

the serpent pulls out a wicked looking stylized bonesaw, and hands it to Jervis," if you do the honors Mr tetch" to this the hatter smiles and grabs the instrument with enthusiasm

he then begins walking over to the bound form of Hugo Strange

...

Some hours after Hugo passed out from the pain and his legs were devoured, Michael lounges, his pets cuddling Sweeney into his coils

Chapter Text

Rescue from Demon
Once upon a time in the quaint town of Willowbrook, there lived a young man named Jervis. Jervis was a trans man who had recently come into his own, embracing his true identity with courage and determination. He was a talented artist and had a heart that overflowed with kindness. Alongside him was his loving and supportive boyfriend, Jonathan, who had stood by his side through thick and thin.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, Jervis decided to spend some quiet time alone at his favorite spot by the old willow tree at the edge of the forest. The willow tree had always held a special place in his heart, as it represented growth, strength, and resilience—qualities he deeply admired and sought to embody.

As Jervis sat beneath the swaying branches, engrossed in sketching the natural beauty around him, an eerie feeling enveloped the air. Unbeknownst to Jervis, the forest was home to a cunning demon named Azazel, who had been watching him from the shadows.

Azazel, envious of Jervis's indomitable spirit, hatched a wicked plan to entice and ensnare him. The demon transformed into a mesmerizing, alluring figure and emerged from the darkness, revealing himself to Jervis as an enigmatic traveler.

Introducing himself as Lucien, the stranger captivated Jervis with his charm and grace. Jervis was taken aback by Lucien's mysterious allure, finding himself strangely drawn to the intriguing stranger. Little did Jervis know that Lucien was, in reality, the demon Azazel in disguise, playing a dangerous game with the young man's emotions.

As days turned into weeks, Jervis spent more and more time with Lucien, his fascination growing. He became deeply entangled in the web of deception that the demon had carefully woven around him. The townspeople noticed a change in Jervis, as he began to withdraw from his friends and seemed to lose touch with his true self.

Concerned for Jervis's well-being, his boyfriend Jonathan decided to investigate the sudden transformation. When he discovered the truth about Lucien's identity, he knew he had to act swiftly to rescue his beloved Jervis from the clutches of the demon.

Jonathan delved into ancient texts and sought the guidance of a wise old witch, Cassandra. Together, they devised a plan to save Jervis from the sinister grasp of Azazel. Armed with a charm made of silver and blessed by the moonlight, Jonathan ventured into the heart of the forest to confront the demon.

Under the moon's glow, Jonathan faced Azazel and demanded his release over Jervis. The demon, sensing the power and determination in Jonathan's heart, scoffed at his attempts to rescue Jervis. However, the charm's magic began to weaken Azazel, causing him to lose his deceptive form.

Jonathan's unwavering love and strength, combined with the enchanted silver, proved to be a formidable force against the demon's deceit. With a thunderous roar, Azazel dissipated into the night, vanquished by the power of true love.

As the spell broke, Jervis regained his senses, realizing the trap he had fallen into. In the arms of Jonathan, he found solace and strength, his heart once again connected to his true self. The experience had taught Jervis the value of self-acceptance and the importance of the love he shared with Jonathan.

From that day on, Jervis and Jonathan's bond grew even stronger. They faced life's challenges together, supporting each other as they navigated through the complexities of their world. Jervis continued to pursue his passion for art, and Jonathan remained by his side, cheering him on every step of the way.

The tale of Jervis and Jonathan's love spread throughout the town of Willowbrook, becoming a beacon of hope for others. They proved that love could conquer all, even the most sinister of traps set by the likes of demons.

And so, Jervis and Jonathan lived happily ever after, their love shining brightly like a guiding star, reminding all who knew them that love and acceptance could overcome any darkness that might come their way.
...

Demons in Stepford: Chaos

Once upon a time, in the dark and brooding city of Gotham, a supernatural entity known as Michael, the demon Prince from another dimension, descended upon the city with a mischievous plan. Michael possessed a unique power – the ability to reshape reality according to his whims.

Determined to make Gotham a haven of LGBTQ inclusivity, Michael set out to create a Stepford-like utopia where love and acceptance knew no bounds. With a wave of his hand, the streets transformed into vibrant rainbows, and the buildings shimmered with the colors of pride.

As Michael surveyed his work, he encountered Jonathan Crane, better known as the Scarecrow, a man known for his fearsome intellect and twisted experiments. Crane had somehow managed to resist the hypnotic powers that had affected the rest of the city, and he remained in his right mind.

"Ah, Jonathan Crane," Michael said, his voice dripping with charm. "I see you're the only one who hasn't fallen under my spell. Fascinating."

Crane narrowed his eyes, studying Michael suspiciously. "What do you want, demon?"

"Oh, nothing too sinister, my dear Scarecrow. I simply wanted to create a world where love and acceptance reigned supreme," Michael replied, his voice velvety smooth.

Crane sneered. "Your twisted notion of acceptance involves turning Gotham into a Stepford nightmare? Where people are mindlessly submissive and conform to your desires?"

Michael chuckled. "Ah, but you misunderstand, Jonathan. The submissiveness you speak of is merely an aesthetic choice, an expression of their desires, not a forced submission. In this utopia, people can explore their true selves without judgment or fear."

Jonathan raised an eyebrow skeptically. "So, you're saying they willingly dress in submissive attire and perform housework obediently?"

Michael nodded, his crimson eyes gleaming. "Exactly. It's all part of the newfound liberation they feel. They take pleasure in embracing traditional gender roles or stepping beyond them. They find empowerment in their own submission."

Crane's face contorted with a mix of disgust and curiosity. "And what about you, Michael? What do you gain from all this?"

The demon prince grinned mischievously. "I thrive on chaos, Jonathan. What better way to create chaos than by dismantling the societal norms that bind people, allowing them to explore their desires without shame or judgment? It's a beautiful chaos, don't you think?"

Before Crane could respond, a familiar voice echoed through the air. "Oh, Jervis, darling, I've prepared your favorite tea," said Jervis Tetch, commonly known as the Mad Hatter, emerging from the nearby shadows.

Crane's eyes widened as he took in the scene. Jervis, once a dangerous adversary, was now transformed into a picture-perfect Stepford spouse, doting on Crane's every need.

Michael chuckled as he watched Crane's shocked expression. "Ah, it seems even the mighty Scarecrow can't resist the charms of my utopia. Enjoy your pampering, dear Jonathan. After all, you deserve it."

Crane was torn between his natural suspicion and the alluring comforts being offered to him. As he pondered his next move, he couldn't help but wonder if this chaotic utopia was as innocent as it seemed or if there were hidden dangers lurking beneath its glossy surface.

Little did Crane know that Michael's influence ran deeper than he could fathom, and the true consequences of this LGBTQ inclusive Stepford utopia were yet to be revealed. Only time would tell if Gotham would truly find acceptance or if the city would become ensnared in a new kind of darkness.

...

Concerned Fathers' Warning

Once upon a time in the quaint town of Gotham, there lived two overprotective fathers named Jonathan Crane and Jervis Tetch. They had long been friends and shared a common concern: their precious daughter, Lenore. Lenore was a charming and intelligent young woman, admired by many suitors in the town. However, her fathers were always skeptical of the boys who came knocking on their door.

One evening, Edgar, a brave and determined young man, mustered up the courage to ask Lenore out on a date. He had fallen for her captivating smile and kind heart. Little did he know, this decision would set him on a perilous path, bringing him face-to-face with the formidable fathers.

Edgar arrived at the Crane-Tetch residence, clad in his best attire and bearing flowers. As soon as he knocked on the door, Jonathan Crane, also known as the Scarecrow, swung it open with an intimidating glare. Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter, stood beside him, donning his signature top hat.

"Edgar, is it?" Jonathan Crane's voice was cold and stern. "You're here to take our Lenore out on a date?"

Edgar gulped nervously but mustered his courage. "Yes, sir," he replied, extending the flowers towards Jonathan. "I promise to treat her with respect and care."

Jervis Tetch chimed in, his voice carrying an air of suspicion. "We've heard those words before, young man. But let us make one thing clear: Lenore is our treasure, and we won't tolerate any harm coming her way."

Edgar's heart raced, but he maintained his composure. "I understand, sir. I only want to make her happy."

The fathers exchanged a glance, their expressions softening slightly. They realized that Edgar's determination and sincerity might be genuine. Reluctantly, they allowed their daughter to go on the date, reminding Edgar of the dire consequences should he ever hurt her.

The evening went splendidly, with Edgar and Lenore sharing laughter, stories, and sweet moments. As the night grew darker, they decided it was time to bid farewell and head home. Unbeknownst to Edgar, Jonathan and Jervis had hatched a wicked plan to ambush him along his route.

Just as Edgar set foot outside the Crane-Tetch residence, a chilling wind blew through the narrow streets of Gotham. A hooded figure emerged from the shadows, ready to strike. But fate had a different plan in store.

As Edgar walked along the deserted road, pondering the night's events, he caught sight of Lenore approaching. With fear in her eyes, she pleaded, "Edgar, you must run! My fathers plan to harm you. Please, go!"

Edgar's heart pounded in his chest, but he refused to abandon Lenore in her moment of distress. "I won't leave you here alone," he declared, taking her hand in his. "We'll face them together."

Suddenly, from the darkness, Jonathan Crane and Jervis Tetch emerged, their faces contorted with rage. They couldn't believe Edgar had dared to defy their plans. But in that moment, they also recognized the strength of their daughter's love and the bond she shared with Edgar.

With a heavy sigh, Jonathan spoke, "Lenore, we only want what's best for you. We must trust your judgment."

Jervis added, "We apologize, Edgar, for our misguided actions. It's clear you care for our daughter."

Edgar nodded, appreciating their sincerity. "I assure you, sir, I'll always strive to make Lenore happy and protect her."

And so, the night that began with suspicion and danger ended with understanding and acceptance. Jonathan Crane and Jervis Tetch realized that their daughter's happiness meant more to them than their fears. From that day forward, Edgar and Lenore's love story blossomed, with the blessings of their once-overprotective fathers, who had learned the value of trust and the power of love.

...

Shadows and Serenades: A Gotham Love Story

Once upon a time in the sprawling city of Gotham, two unique souls found love in the most unexpected way. Dr. Jonathan Crane, also known as the Scarecrow, and Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter, had spent years as adversaries, each with their own twisted infatuations. But as time went on, their paths intertwined, and a bond formed between them that defied the conventional norms of love.

Jonathan Crane, with his gaunt figure and piercing gaze, had always been fascinated by fear and manipulation. His research and experiments in psychology led him down a dark path, ultimately transforming him into the terrifying Scarecrow. Jervis Tetch, on the other hand, sported a peculiar top hat and an obsession with mind control. His love for Alice in Wonderland's whimsical madness drove him to commit crimes and plunge Gotham into chaos.

One fateful night, during a chance encounter on a moonlit rooftop, their adversarial roles began to crumble. Instead of fighting, they found themselves discussing their shared passions and desires. Both men were drawn to the macabre and possessed an insatiable curiosity for the human mind. In each other, they discovered kindred spirits, someone who could understand their darkest thoughts and motivations.

As their relationship blossomed, Gotham City stood divided. Some viewed their union with disdain, fearing the potential destruction that could arise from such a powerful pairing. Others, including Batman himself, recognized the shifting nature of their love and the possibility of redemption it held. Batman had witnessed their transformation from villains to something more, a longing for acceptance and understanding.

Realizing the significance of their love, Batman offered to officiate their wedding, an act of reconciliation and hope. The ceremony would take place in Wayne Manor's grand ballroom, a symbol of Gotham's past and a testament to its future. It would be a moment that transcended the boundaries of hero and villain, where love triumphed over prejudice and society's expectations.

On a bright summer day, as the sun cast its golden glow across the city, friends and foes alike gathered in anticipation. Jonathan Crane, dressed in a sleek black suit, stood at the altar, his eyes scanning the room for his beloved. Jervis Tetch, adorned in a crimson waistcoat and a top hat adorned with black feathers, made his entrance, escorted by Harley Quinn, who had begrudgingly put aside her own mischief to celebrate their love.

As the ceremony began, Batman stood before them, his cape flowing majestically behind him. He spoke with a voice full of wisdom and compassion, reminding those in attendance that love was a force that transcended the boundaries of good and evil. The vows exchanged by Jonathan and Jervis echoed through the hall, filled with promises of loyalty and understanding, pledges to nurture each other's growth and seek redemption together.

In the presence of their friends, enemies, and a symbol of justice, Jonathan Crane and Jervis Tetch were united in a bond forged from darkness, longing, and a shared understanding of the human psyche. Their union marked a new chapter for Gotham, one where redemption and love could triumph over fear and madness.

As Batman declared them husband and husband, the room erupted in applause and cheers. Despite their past as villains, the people of Gotham recognized the power of love to transform even the most tortured souls. And so, a new era dawned in the city's history, where the Scarecrow and the Mad Hatter found solace and support in each other, guided by the unwavering belief that love could conquer all, even the deepest shadows of their hearts.

...

Enchanted Escapades: A Villainous Honeymoon

After their enchanting wedding ceremony, Jonathan Crane and Jervis Tetch embarked on a mesmerizing honeymoon, venturing into the unexplored territories of their love. They were joined by another newly wedded couple, Pamela Isley, also known as Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn. The quartet of mischievous souls set off on a journey that would redefine their understanding of love and forge unbreakable bonds.

Their destination was an isolated island, untouched by civilization, yet teeming with lush vegetation and untamed beauty. It was a sanctuary where they could revel in their newfound love without the prying eyes of Gotham or the weight of their villainous alter egos. A secluded paradise awaited them, offering a canvas for their desires and passions to flourish.

As they arrived on the island, their senses were overwhelmed by the vibrant colors, exotic scents, and the gentle caress of warm breezes. Nature seemed to embrace them, whispering secrets of tranquility and renewal. Together, they explored hidden coves, meandered through dense forests, and strolled hand in hand along pristine beaches, reveling in the joy of being surrounded by untamed wonders.

Jonathan and Jervis, with their shared fascination for the mind and its intricate workings, delved into philosophical discussions under the shade of ancient trees. They exchanged theories, challenged each other's notions, and expanded their understanding of the human psyche. As their minds intertwined, their bond grew stronger, fortified by the unbreakable foundation of mutual respect and intellectual stimulation.

Meanwhile, Ivy and Harley reveled in the island's vibrant flora. Ivy's powers allowed her to commune with nature like no one else. She breathed life into the flora, creating a spectacle of color and enchantment wherever they ventured. Harley, infatuated by Ivy's ethereal connection with the green, danced through meadows of blooming flowers, her laughter echoing through the verdant landscapes.

In the evenings, as the sun painted the sky with hues of gold and pink, the quartet would gather around a crackling bonfire, sharing stories, laughter, and dreams for a future beyond their past lives. They spoke of redemption, of finding their places in a world that had cast them aside. They reveled in the power of love and friendship, knowing that together, they were capable of great things.

During those nights, Jonathan, known for his affinity for fear, orchestrated haunting tales that sent shivers down their spines. Yet, even in the midst of darkness, their love illuminated the shadows, weaving an ethereal tapestry of connection and understanding. They found solace in each other's arms, embracing the vulnerability that blossomed from their union.

As their honeymoon came to an end, the quartet returned to Gotham, not as villains, but as complex individuals driven by love and seeking redemption. Their time on the secluded island had transformed them, solidifying their bonds and instilling a sense of purpose. Together, they vowed to use their unique abilities for good, to protect the innocent, and to cultivate a world where love and understanding prevailed.

And so, armed with a newfound sense of purpose and a love that transcended their past, Jonathan Crane and Jervis Tetch, accompanied by Ivy and Harley, ventured forth into Gotham, ready to challenge the conventions of hero and villain. Their journey had only just begun, their love an unstoppable force that would reshape the city they once sought to conquer.

Thus, the tale of their enchanted escapades continued, reminding the world that love could bloom even in the darkest corners, and that redemption was attainable for those who dared to believe in its power.

Chapter Text

the previously newly minted Almighty archangel aziraphale thinks as he sits on a park bench and St James that if they started with little our's the big our's of our side would have came a little bit easier

the angel knows Heaven can't be changed the moment he tries to in state some sort of redemption policy for demons, after the third celestial cycle of red tape and bureaucracy he knows it's lost cause, so he tries again with something small, putting in a lunch room into Heaven's offices, what he was expecting was a nice little Buffet, what do you got was a glorified and water cooler food was ambrosia, which tasted like nothing and didn't really give him the same buzz it seemed to as his coworkers

so he realizes he have to go back to Crowley and do what he should have done in the first place

so he says he's going down to earth to get some stuff from his Bookshop, and he supposed is one of the perks of being the new supreme archangel is that he can shut his duties on lessers, though he does apologize profusely to the Angel he does give it to

...

as for what Crowley was doing, he was crying his eyes out in the Bentley while listening to mitski, whipping up all the acceptance of new high Duke of Hell letters he was getting, and then wiping his eyes with sad letters and continuing to cry

and that is Angel knocks on the Bentley Door, he quickly wipes away his tears and miracles away the scraps, in the most angry voice you can muster though it is tinted with sadness he says

" what, you hear to forgive me again, well" but before he could continue his miracle out of the Bentley and Falls flat on his face

"I am quite sorry for that, and for the record I'm not here to forgive you, in fact" the angel begins as he steps back as the demon flops himself upright, the demon is about to go on to legs again but nearly slips back onto the pavement when the angel became is doing something he thought he'd never see the angel do ever again

the I'm sorry dance, it's a quick little thing and the lyrics get a little bit wobbly halfway through, clearly the angel begins to cry

Crowley's Comfort his Angel instincts about to kick it in but then the Angel Falls falls to his knees in front of the demon and tears wedding from his eyes, begins to battle apologies and that he did something horrendous, something he can never guava to Heaven enough to forgive, he's spray-painted metatron's door with profanity," a dick head to be exact" the angel started out after another burst of Tears

after a session of both of them crying and kissing and crying and a little bit more kissing, they decide to get off the gravel and go somewhere a little bit better to talk about things

they talk about what they want to do about the whole system, and realize neither wants to do the others and the others isn't looking too smart now that they think about it

but figure out a new plan can come later right now they want to be near each other, and to figure out how to stay with each other

and now they sit in St James Park thinking of the first step of staying, starting with little our's, he's about to think about something that can be theirs, but he feels a little movement in his jacket pocket, and he pulls out

a salamander, and he knows, with all of his senses as an angel, that this is God's Little wedding gift to them

a child, that maybe a small there's now but soon is going to be a big strong there's, though they will need to read some parenting books first

and maybe somewhere a nightingale is singing, maybe not in St James, maybe not in Barkley Square, but somewhere... It just has to be

Chapter Text

Trance of Manipulation
In the heart of Gotham City, a brilliant but eccentric scientist named Jervis Tetch spent his days tinkering with his latest inventions. One day, he stumbled upon an ancient book on hypnotism, which he believed could unlock the secrets of the human mind. With his obsession for control and manipulation, Jervis delved into the pages of the book, eager to harness the power of hypnotic suggestion.

As he read through the arcane words, he became increasingly engrossed in the possibilities. With a spark of excitement, he decided to test his newfound knowledge on himself. However, he failed to fully comprehend the intricate nuances of hypnotic suggestion and ended up accidentally implanting a trigger deep within his subconscious mind.

The trigger was simple yet strangely specific - whenever Jervis heard the sound of a metronome, he would fall into an involuntary trance, his mind becoming malleable and open to suggestion. Unaware of the consequences of his actions, he returned to his daily routine, continuing to invent and experiment.

Meanwhile, in another corner of Gotham, a man named Jonathan Crane, better known as the Scarecrow, had a unique fascination with fear and control. His methods involved exploiting people's phobias, manipulating their minds to bend to his will. He owned a peculiar metronome, one adorned with crow-themed engravings. This metronome was more than just a mere instrument; it was a cherished possession, symbolizing his power over fear.

One day, as fate would have it, Jervis visited Jonathan's lair, their paths crossing in a twist of destiny. As they talked, Jervis noticed the crow-themed metronome perched on a nearby shelf. The rhythmic ticking of the metronome immediately caught his attention, and before he could fully comprehend what was happening, he felt his consciousness slipping away.

His eyes glazed over, and his mind became a canvas for Jonathan to manipulate. Jonathan, intrigued by this sudden vulnerability, began weaving his words, implanting new suggestions into Jervis' trance-like state. He saw this as an opportunity to further his own goals and control over the city.

For weeks, Jervis continued to visit Jonathan, drawn to the metronome like a moth to a flame. Each time he entered Jonathan's lair and heard the rhythmic ticking, he fell under the Scarecrow's spell, unknowingly becoming a pawn in Jonathan's intricate game.

However, even the most carefully laid plans have their limitations. One day, as Jervis listened to the metronome's hypnotic rhythm, a flicker of memory crossed his mind - a memory of accidentally implanting the trigger within himself. In that moment of clarity, he realized the depth of his mistake and the extent of his vulnerability.

Determined to break free from Jonathan's control, Jervis sought the help of another brilliant mind, Dr. Harleen Quinzel. With her expertise in psychology, she worked tirelessly to untangle the web of hypnotic suggestions that had ensnared Jervis. Through a combination of therapy and careful deprogramming, they managed to weaken the hold that the crow-themed metronome had over him.

In a final confrontation with Jonathan, Jervis confronted his fears and the power that had manipulated him for so long. With newfound strength, he shattered the metronome, breaking the spell that had bound him to Jonathan's will.

The story of Jervis Tetch and his unwitting entanglement with the Scarecrow's control over him became a cautionary tale in the annals of Gotham's history. It served as a reminder that even the most brilliant minds could fall victim to their own hubris and the manipulations of others. And in the end, Jervis emerged not only with a deeper understanding of the human mind but also with a renewed sense of self-awareness and the strength to resist the hypnotic siren song that had once ensnared him.

...

Chapter Text

In the celestial realm, the heavenly beings watched over Earth with fascination and curiosity. Among them were Aziraphale, an angel with a penchant for fine literature and delectable treats, and Crowley, a demon who found pleasure in tempting humans and enjoying the earthly pleasures. Despite their inherent differences, they had formed an unusual friendship over the centuries, fueled by their shared fondness for humanity and their clandestine meetings at a certain quaint bookshop in London.

God, the divine creator and overseer of all, observed the interactions between Aziraphale and Crowley with a mixture of amusement and exasperation. Their relationship had evolved into something unique and beautiful, defying the norms of angel-demon dynamics. Yet, there was one thing that irked God: Aziraphale and Crowley's unwillingness to admit their deeper feelings for each other and take the leap into matrimony.

One day, while gazing upon Earth and contemplating the intricacies of free will, God decided that enough was enough. It was time to nudge Aziraphale and Crowley in the right direction.

In the middle of a cozy afternoon at the bookshop, as Aziraphale was carefully cataloging a new shipment of books and Crowley was pretending to read a newspaper, a gust of wind suddenly swept through the room. Papers fluttered, and the chime on the door tinkled melodiously. Before their eyes, a vision appeared – a radiant figure with an aura of divinity.

"Goodness me!" Aziraphale exclaimed, dropping his quill in surprise. "Who might you be?"

"I am a messenger of the divine," the vision intoned, its voice resonating with celestial power. "I come bearing a message from the Almighty."

Crowley smirked and muttered, "Well, someone's overdressed today."

Ignoring Crowley's comment, the divine messenger continued, "God has observed your companionship over the eons and has deemed it a testament to the potential of love transcending all boundaries. However, there is a matter that requires addressing."

Both Aziraphale and Crowley exchanged puzzled glances.

"God has grown somewhat impatient with your reluctance to acknowledge your deeper feelings for each other," the messenger declared. "Therefore, it has been decided that a divine intervention is in order."

Before Aziraphale or Crowley could react, a shimmering light enveloped them. In an instant, they found themselves standing within a magnificent cathedral, bathed in ethereal radiance.

"What's happening?" Aziraphale asked, bewildered.

"I believe we've been... divinely summoned," Crowley replied, equally mystified.

At the altar of the cathedral, an ethereal presence materialized – a majestic figure that exuded an aura of love and wisdom.

"Good Lord!" Aziraphale exclaimed, recognizing the divine presence.

"Indeed," Crowley muttered, not entirely thrilled by the celestial spectacle.

"Aziraphale, Crowley," God's voice resonated, filling the cathedral with its power. "It is time for you to acknowledge your love for each other and join in the bonds of matrimony."

Aziraphale's cheeks turned a shade of pink that matched his bowtie, and Crowley's eyes widened in astonishment.

"But... but we're an angel and a demon," Aziraphale stammered.

"Love knows no boundaries," God replied, a touch of amusement in her voice. "Your union would be a testament to the transformative power of connection."

Aziraphale and Crowley exchanged a glance that conveyed a mixture of panic, bewilderment, and a hint of something deeper.

"You may proceed with the ceremony if you so choose," God said with a twinkle in her celestial eyes, then vanished, leaving the two of them alone in the radiant cathedral.

For a moment, Aziraphale and Crowley stood in silence, absorbing the gravity of the situation. Then, they looked at each other, and a nervous but genuine smile broke across Aziraphale's face.

"Well," he said, "shall we?"

Crowley grinned in return. "Might as well. Beats an eternity of awkward conversations, doesn't it?"

And so, within the divine cathedral, with the eyes of the heavens upon them, Aziraphale and Crowley exchanged vows that transcended their celestial origins. Love, as it turned out, could indeed conquer the most improbable of circumstances.

As they sealed their vows with a kiss, the cathedral filled with a warm, golden light, and the heavens themselves seemed to rejoice at this extraordinary union. God, observing from the cosmic realm, smiled with satisfaction, pleased that her intervention had nudged love in the right direction.

Chapter Text

can't live without you so I'll make someone else like you

In the quiet days following the apocalyptic fiasco that had left Heaven and Earth in disarray, Aziraphale had been summoned to the highest realms of Heaven. His unparalleled efforts during the trials had not gone unnoticed, and he was bestowed with the prestigious title of Supreme Archangel. The promotion came with grand responsibilities, including overseeing the reconstruction of Heaven and leading the celestial choir in a harmonious resurgence.

As Aziraphale ascended to his new role, he felt a mixture of honor, trepidation, and a tinge of sadness. He had to leave behind the world he had come to adore, along with his dearest friend and unlikely ally, Crowley. Crowley, the demon who had gradually become much more than an acquaintance, was also grappling with a sense of loss. The angel's departure left an undeniable void in his existence.

Weeks turned into months, and while Aziraphale busied himself in his celestial duties, he couldn't help but think about Crowley. He missed their witty banter, the shared dinners, and the peculiar companionship they had forged. And so, one fateful night, Crowley, in his typically cunning and unconventional manner, concocted a plan to fill the emptiness that seemed to gnaw at him.

In a forgotten corner of the ethereal realm, Crowley found himself standing before a celestial being – an angel of radiant beauty and grace. This angel, named Seraphiel, had a reputation for her ethereal singing that resonated even beyond the celestial spheres. With a snap of his fingers and a convincingly deceptive story, Crowley managed to whisk Seraphiel away from her heavenly abode and into the realm of Earth.

Crowley's plan, while daring and impulsive, had an underlying motive. He hoped that by bringing Seraphiel into his life, he could fill the void left by Aziraphale's absence. Seraphiel, unaware of the demon's true intentions, was initially puzzled and uncertain. Yet, as days turned into weeks, she began to acclimate to the strange beauty of Earth and, to her surprise, the peculiar demon who had brought her here.

Back in Heaven, Aziraphale had been adjusting to his role as the Supreme Archangel. The heavenly duties were demanding, and the weight of responsibility often left him fatigued. But amid the divine responsibilities, he couldn't help but wonder about Crowley and the life he had left behind on Earth. He missed their camaraderie more than he could have anticipated.

Months passed, and the celestial spheres were once again in alignment. Aziraphale seized the opportunity to visit Earth, hoping to catch a glimpse of his old friend. As he descended to the human realm, he was met with a sight that sent shockwaves through his being. There, standing beside Crowley, was Seraphiel – an angel of unimaginable beauty and purity. Aziraphale's heart sank as he realized what had transpired in his absence.

The initial shock gave way to a complex torrent of emotions – sadness, confusion, and a surprising twinge of understanding. He approached Crowley, who looked both guilty and hopeful, and the two beings exchanged a glance laden with history, unspoken words, and a connection that transcended their celestial origins.

With a heavy sigh, Aziraphale addressed Crowley, "You've been lonely, haven't you?"

Crowley's golden eyes met Aziraphale's, and the weight of the world seemed to rest in that moment. "Yes," he admitted, his voice a mixture of vulnerability and remorse.

Aziraphale looked at Seraphiel, who seemed equally lost in this strange human world. And then, turning his gaze back to Crowley, he offered a small smile. "I understand."

In the days that followed, Aziraphale and Crowley navigated the intricate dynamics of their unusual trio. Seraphiel slowly adjusted to the Earth and its peculiarities, while Aziraphale and Crowley found a way to include her in their shared moments. The initial discomfort gradually gave way to a sense of companionship, understanding, and an unexpected kind of harmony.

Aziraphale may not have been able to replace the void that Crowley had been feeling, but he recognized the depth of their friendship and the complexities of emotion that bound them. As for Crowley, he learned that even in the most unexpected circumstances, the bonds of friendship could withstand the tests of time and existence, and that loneliness could be alleviated through connection and understanding.

...

Beach Day Delight

Crowley and Aziraphale had found themselves in an unusually peaceful period on Earth. Armageddon had been averted, and they finally had some well-deserved time to themselves. As the summer sun painted the sky with hues of orange and pink, an idea formed in Aziraphale's mind. He turned to Crowley with a twinkle in his eye.

"Crowley, my dear friend, I have a rather delightful suggestion for us," Aziraphale said, a playful grin tugging at the corners of his lips.

Crowley raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Oh? Do tell, angel."

"Well," Aziraphale began, "I was thinking that perhaps we could spend a day at the beach. You know, soak up some sun, feel the sand between our toes, and enjoy the gentle caress of the waves."

Crowley looked at Aziraphale skeptically, as if he were trying to ascertain whether this was some kind of elaborate prank. "You want us, ethereal beings, to go to a human beach? Isn't that a bit... ordinary?"

Aziraphale chuckled. "Exactly! After all the extraordinary events we've been through, perhaps a bit of ordinary is just what we need. Plus, I hear there's a rather charming ice cream shop nearby that serves the most heavenly flavors."

Crowley raised an eyebrow. "Ice cream? Well, I suppose I could be convinced."

And so, armed with sunscreen and a picnic basket filled with assorted treats, the unlikely duo set off for the beach. Aziraphale had done his research and chosen a beach that was relatively quiet, away from the bustling crowds. They arrived and spread out a comfortable blanket on the golden sand.

Crowley, of course, had opted for his usual attire of black, but Aziraphale had surprised him by showing up in a pair of tailored khaki shorts and a light blue button-down shirt. The angel had even managed to find a straw hat that matched his ensemble.

As they settled in, Aziraphale took off his shoes and socks, letting his toes sink into the soft sand. "Oh, Crowley, you simply must try this. It's positively divine."

Crowley gave him an amused look but decided to humor him. He kicked off his shoes and cautiously let his feet touch the sand. To his surprise, he found himself enjoying the sensation. "Well, I'll be damned. You might be onto something here, angel."

They spent the day lounging by the water's edge, watching the waves roll in and out. Aziraphale had brought a book, while Crowley reclined with his sunglasses on, pretending not to care about the human activity around them.

Eventually, hunger struck, and they delved into the picnic basket. They enjoyed a spread of finger sandwiches, fresh fruit, and, of course, heavenly ice cream that melted just the right way in the warmth of the sun.

As the day drew to a close and the sky painted itself with shades of pink and purple, Crowley found himself surprisingly content. He glanced over at Aziraphale, who was staring out at the horizon with a peaceful expression.

"You were right, angel," Crowley admitted. "This... ordinary day has been rather nice."

Aziraphale turned to him, a gentle smile on his lips. "Sometimes, Crowley, it's the simplest things that bring the most joy."

And so, as the stars emerged in the velvety sky, Crowley and Aziraphale packed up their belongings, leaving behind nothing but the traces of their footprints in the sand. As they made their way back, they carried with them the memory of a day well-spent, a day when they embraced the ordinary and found something extraordinary in it.

...

Angel eats a cake it has a good think about his demon boyfriend

Aziraphale sat in his quaint bookshop, the bell above the door chiming occasionally as customers came and went. A delicate slice of rich, velvety chocolate cake rested on a plate before him, a temptation too delightful to resist. The aroma of cocoa and sugar filled the air, making it nearly impossible for him to concentrate on the ancient tome open in front of him.

With a wistful smile, he picked up the fork, its silver tines glinting in the soft glow of the shop's lamplight. The cake was a masterpiece – moist and decadent, topped with a generous layer of smooth ganache. He took a small bite, savoring the explosion of flavors that danced on his palate. The world seemed to fade away as the sweetness enveloped his senses.

As he continued to indulge in the cake, his thoughts inevitably turned to Crowley, his dear, enigmatic boyfriend. Aziraphale couldn't help but smile as he remembered their countless adventures together. Their partnership had always been a peculiar one, an angel and a demon working together in a world that was rapidly changing.

Crowley had an uncanny ability to navigate the modern world effortlessly, always a step ahead of the latest trends and technologies. Aziraphale, on the other hand, found himself more at home in the dusty pages of his beloved books and the traditional charm of his antique shop. They were opposites in many ways, yet somehow, they found a harmonious balance in each other's company.

Aziraphale's smile grew as he recalled their recent outing to a trendy café that had just opened in Soho. Crowley had been intrigued by the café's unique blend of aesthetics – part steampunk, part minimalist – and Aziraphale had found himself surprisingly enamored with the artisanal pastries they served. Crowley had playfully teased him about his newfound love for macarons, and in return, Aziraphale had challenged him to a friendly debate on the merits of classic literature versus modern fiction.

Lost in thought, Aziraphale took another bite of cake. The rich sweetness was a comforting reminder of the joy he found in the simple pleasures of life. He wondered what Crowley was up to at that moment – perhaps lounging on his sleek black sofa, sipping a glass of fine wine, or driving his sleek Bentley through the bustling streets of London. No matter where he was, Aziraphale knew that Crowley was always with him in spirit.

With a contented sigh, Aziraphale pushed the plate aside, his hunger sated for now. He picked up his phone and sent a text to Crowley, a simple message that conveyed all he felt: "Thinking of you, my dear. Enjoying a slice of cake and remembering our adventures. - A."

As he set the phone down and gazed out of the window, the bookshop seemed warmer, cozier – a sanctuary filled not just with ancient tomes, but with memories of laughter, debates, and stolen moments. And through it all, the bond between an angel and a demon continued to grow, defying the odds and proving that love could transcend even the most celestial of differences.

Chapter Text

"Love's Lunar Reunion"
Crowley had always been quite adept at finding distractions. It was a talent he had honed over the centuries to keep himself occupied and, more importantly, to keep his mind from dwelling on things he'd rather forget. But there was one thing he couldn't seem to shake from his thoughts, no matter how hard he tried.

Aziraphale.

His dear, angelic friend had left him. After that little tiff over the Apocalypse, Aziraphale had gone off on his own, and no amount of tempting, cajoling, or sulking on Crowley's part had brought him back. It had been months since he'd last seen Aziraphale, and the loneliness was eating away at him.

One night, as he lounged in his cozy bookshop, surrounded by rare volumes and knickknacks, Crowley came to a decision. He needed a distraction of epic proportions. And what better distraction than the moon itself?

With a snap of his fingers, Crowley transformed his sleek Bentley into a spacecraft, complete with all the necessary equipment for a lunar excursion. He figured that if he couldn't have Aziraphale back on Earth, maybe he could find him on the moon. After all, it was worth a shot, right?

So, without further ado, Crowley blasted off into the night sky, hurtling towards the silver orb that hung so tantalizingly close to Earth. As he approached, he marveled at the moon's desolate beauty. It was a stark contrast to the lush landscapes he was used to, but he found it oddly captivating.

He landed the spacecraft on the moon's surface with a soft thud, stepping out onto the dusty terrain. The loneliness that had plagued him on Earth seemed to follow him even here, but he pushed it aside. He was on a mission, after all.

Crowley wandered the moon's surface, searching for any sign of Aziraphale. He called out his name, but there was only silence in response. He checked craters, peeked behind boulders, and even inspected moon rocks, but there was no trace of his angelic friend.

Hours turned into days, and still, Crowley found no sign of Aziraphale. He began to wonder if he had made a colossal mistake coming all the way to the moon. Maybe Aziraphale was truly gone for good, and Crowley was destined to be alone forever.

Just as despair threatened to overtake him, Crowley heard a familiar voice. "My dear, what are you doing here?" It was Aziraphale's voice, tinged with surprise and concern.

Crowley turned around to see Aziraphale standing there, dressed in his usual attire, looking absolutely radiant despite the moon's harsh environment. "Aziraphale!" Crowley exclaimed, his heart leaping with joy. "I came to find you."

Aziraphale smiled warmly, and before Crowley knew it, they were in each other's arms, holding each other as if they'd never let go. "You daft demon," Aziraphale chided gently, "I couldn't stay away from you for long."

Crowley gazed into Aziraphale's eyes, feeling a surge of emotions he hadn't allowed himself to acknowledge for far too long. "I missed you," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I missed you too," Aziraphale admitted, leaning in closer until their lips met in a sweet and tender kiss. It was a kiss filled with all the longing, love, and passion that had built up between them during their time apart.

As they kissed on the desolate surface of the moon, surrounded by the vastness of space, Crowley realized that sometimes, distractions weren't the answer. Sometimes, what you needed was right in front of you, or in this case, right beside you on the moon. Aziraphale was his constant, his solace, and his love. And Crowley was never going to let him go again.

,,,
"The Love That Spawned Seraphim: A Peculiar Creation"
Once upon a time, in a quiet corner of Soho, Crowley and Aziraphale found themselves basking in the serene, yet still slightly tumultuous waters of their unusual relationship. Their bond was like no other, a peculiar love affair between an angel and a demon that had weathered millennia. Through trials, tribulations, and the inevitable end-of-the-world scenarios, they had come to realize that their love transcended the boundaries of Heaven and Hell.

One balmy summer evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, the ineffable pair found themselves lounging in Aziraphale's cozy bookshop, deep in conversation about the latest peculiarities of the universe. Crowley reclined in a plush armchair, legs draped over one of the worn leather arms, while Aziraphale perched on the edge of his antique writing desk, a cup of Earl Grey tea in hand.

"You know, my dear," Aziraphale mused, "our love has always been...well, a little unconventional."

Crowley quirked an eyebrow, smirking. "Well, I reckon you're right there, angel. What's got you thinking about it now?"

Aziraphale hesitated for a moment, sipping his tea. "It's just that...our love has always been about defying expectations, hasn't it? What if we could create something, something that represents the essence of us?"

Crowley studied Aziraphale's face, recognizing the hopeful gleam in his eyes. "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

Aziraphale nodded slowly, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. "Yes, my dear. What if we created a child, not in the traditional sense, but as a manifestation of our love?"

Crowley's snake eyes widened with astonishment. It was an outlandish idea, even by their standards, but something about it felt right. "Alright, angel, let's give it a shot."

They retreated to the back room of the bookshop, surrounded by ancient tomes and mystical relics. Together, they gathered their celestial and infernal energies, weaving them into a delicate, luminous cocoon that shimmered with every color imaginable. It pulsed with the warmth of their love, an iridescent beacon of light in the dim room.

Hours passed, and the cocoon grew more intricate, its colors dancing in harmony. Finally, with a shared glance and a gentle touch, they completed their creation. As they stepped back, the cocoon shivered and burst open, revealing their love made manifest.

What lay before them, however, was not what they expected. Instead of a cherubic being of light or an ethereal celestial, their creation took the form of a tiny, baby side salamander. It blinked its beady eyes at them, its tiny tail flicking nervously.

Crowley and Aziraphale stared in disbelief, their mouths agape. It was not what they had envisioned at all.

"Well," Crowley said, scratching his head, "that's...different."

Aziraphale knelt down and gently picked up the baby side salamander, cradling it in his hands. "Yes, it certainly is. But it's ours, Crowley, a product of our love."

The baby side salamander chirped, its tiny mouth forming a smile. It wriggled in Aziraphale's grasp, seemingly content.

Over time, they realized that their unusual creation was, in fact, a reflection of their love's uniqueness. It had the mischievous spark of Crowley and the kind-hearted warmth of Aziraphale. They named it Seraphim, a nod to its celestial and infernal origins, and raised it as their own.

Seraphim may not have been a conventional child, but it was a symbol of the extraordinary love that had defied the odds, bridging the gap between Heaven and Hell. As they watched their little side salamander grow and thrive, Crowley and Aziraphale couldn't help but smile, knowing that their love could create something as wonderfully peculiar as Seraphim.

,,,
Aziraphale's Divine Defiance
Aziraphale, the angel of books and ineffable knowledge, was enjoying a quiet evening in his bookshop when he received an unusual visitor. The golden bells hanging above the door tinkled softly, and Aziraphale looked up from his book to see a disheveled, anxious-looking angel standing in the doorway. It was Gabriel, a high-ranking member of the heavenly host.

"Gabriel, my dear fellow," Aziraphale said, setting aside his book and rising from his chair. "What brings you here? Is there something I can help you with?"

Gabriel's expression was grave. "Aziraphale, we need to talk," he said, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

Aziraphale frowned, concern tugging at his heart. He knew Gabriel well enough to sense that something was amiss. "Of course, Gabriel. Please, have a seat. Would you care for some tea?"

Gabriel shook his head, his wings ruffled and his demeanor troubled. "No, thank you. I'm afraid I can't stay long. Aziraphale, I've just come from a meeting in heaven, and there's news that I think you need to hear."

Aziraphale's curiosity deepened. "News? What kind of news?"

Gabriel took a deep breath and spoke in a hushed tone. "Aziraphale, heaven has decided to stop allowing human souls into the realm."

Aziraphale's eyes widened in shock. "What? But that's… that's unheard of! Why on Earth would they do such a thing?"

Gabriel looked pained as he explained, "It's a decision that's been debated for some time now. The Heavenly Council believes that humans have become too corrupt and sinful, that their souls are beyond redemption. They've grown tired of trying to save them."

Aziraphale's heart sank. He had spent millennia on Earth, watching over humans, trying to guide them toward goodness and virtue. He had seen the worst of humanity but had also witnessed moments of great compassion and love. He couldn't fathom the idea of condemning all human souls.

"But what about the good ones?" Aziraphale protested. "What about the souls that have shown kindness and compassion? What about the potential for redemption?"

Gabriel's expression hardened. "The decision is final, Aziraphale. No exceptions. It's time for humanity to face the consequences of their actions."

Aziraphale's wings drooped, and he sank back into his chair, feeling a profound sense of sorrow. "This is wrong, Gabriel. It goes against everything I believe in. I can't accept this."

Gabriel reached out and placed a hand on Aziraphale's shoulder. "I know this is difficult, my friend, but we must obey the orders of heaven."

Aziraphale shook his head, tears welling in his eyes. "I can't stand by and do nothing, Gabriel. I won't. I'll find a way to save those souls, to protect them from this unjust fate."

Gabriel looked conflicted, torn between his loyalty to heaven and his affection for Aziraphale. "Be careful, Aziraphale. Going against the heavenly decree could have severe consequences."

But Aziraphale was resolute. He knew that he couldn't simply stand by and watch as countless human souls were condemned. With a heavy heart, he made a silent vow to himself – he would do whatever it took to ensure that even in the face of heaven's decision, the light of compassion and redemption would continue to shine in the world. And with that determination, he set out on a mission to save the souls that others had forsaken, for he believed that no soul was truly beyond redemption, and that love and mercy would always find a way.

Chapter Text

French Chocolate Sweetens Bad Day

Chapter Text

Not what you truly want

Chapter Text

Halloween
in Soho, Aziraphale, the angel, and Crowley, the demon, found themselves embroiled in an entirely new and unusual predicament: preparing for Halloween. It all began when Aziraphale stumbled upon a dusty old tome in the back corner of the shop. The book, with its eerie, antique illustrations, depicted the holiday of Halloween in all its spooktacular glory.

"Look at this, Crowley," Aziraphale exclaimed, his eyes twinkling with curiosity as he held the book aloft. "Halloween, the night when the veil between the mortal world and the supernatural is at its thinnest. It's quite fascinating, don't you think?"

Crowley, who had been idly flipping through a magazine, looked up with mild interest. "Fascinating, angel? It's just an excuse for humans to dress up in ridiculous costumes and eat too much candy."

Aziraphale was undeterred. "But don't you see, Crowley? It's the one night when we can blend in perfectly with the humans! They won't even suspect a thing."

Crowley raised an eyebrow. "And what exactly are you proposing, angel?"

With a mischievous grin, Aziraphale declared, "We should celebrate Halloween, Crowley! Dress up, decorate the bookshop, and hand out candy to the trick-or-treaters."

Crowley looked skeptical, but he couldn't deny that the idea had a certain appeal. "Fine, angel, but I'm not dressing up as an actual angel, and you're not going as a demon. That would defeat the purpose."

Aziraphale thought for a moment before a lightbulb moment hit him. "How about we dress up as each other? That way, we can have a bit of fun with it."

Crowley smirked, realizing that this could indeed be amusing. "Alright, Aziraphale, you've got yourself a deal."

With their plan in place, Aziraphale and Crowley set to work. They scoured thrift stores for costumes, trying on all sorts of outlandish outfits until they found the perfect ones. Aziraphale ended up in a sleek black suit with sunglasses perched on his nose, while Crowley donned a waistcoat, bowtie, and an elegant tan overcoat.

Decorating the bookshop was another adventure altogether. They filled the front window with pumpkins, cobwebs, and candles that flickered mysteriously. Aziraphale insisted on carving angelic designs into the pumpkins while Crowley opted for a few snarky demon faces.

On Halloween night, the two friends stood behind the bookshop counter, awaiting their first trick-or-treaters. Aziraphale handed out candy with a friendly smile, while Crowley lounged nearby, looking unimpressed.

As the night went on, they couldn't help but enjoy themselves. Aziraphale chatted with the children about their costumes and the history of Halloween, while Crowley, in his costume, cracked jokes that had the parents laughing.

But the highlight of the evening came when a group of teenagers, dressed as angels and demons, arrived at the bookshop. They stared in amazement at Aziraphale and Crowley's costumes.

"Wow, you guys are so authentic!" one of them exclaimed.

Aziraphale and Crowley exchanged a knowing glance before bursting into laughter. It seemed their Halloween adventure had taken an unexpected turn.

As the night drew to a close, and the last trick-or-treaters departed, Aziraphale and Crowley sighed contentedly. They may have started preparing for Halloween as an amusing diversion, but it had turned into a memorable and heartwarming experience.

"Perhaps, Crowley," Aziraphale mused, "we should do this every year."

Crowley smirked. "Only if I get to choose the costumes."

And with that, the angel and the demon cleaned up their Halloween decorations, content in the knowledge that even the unlikeliest of pairs could find joy in celebrating the spookiest night of the year together.

Haunted House Adventure
Vanessa and Veronica had always been a couple that loved thrills and adventures. Whether it was hiking through dense forests, exploring abandoned buildings, or embarking on spontaneous road trips, they were always in search of excitement. With Halloween just around the corner, the couple decided to take their love for adventure to the next level by visiting a notorious haunted house in their town.

The "Whispering Manor" had a chilling reputation that had spread far and wide. It was rumored to be haunted by the ghosts of a family that had perished tragically within its walls decades ago. The stories were spine-tingling, and the bravest of souls dared not enter. However, Vanessa and Veronica were determined to confront their fears head-on.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the eerie, moonlit night, the couple arrived at Whispering Manor. Its imposing Victorian architecture loomed ominously against the dark sky, and the overgrown garden added to its sinister appearance. The air was thick with a chilling mist, setting the perfect mood for their adventure.

Veronica clutched Vanessa's hand tightly as they approached the decaying front door. It creaked open eerily, as if inviting them into its haunted embrace. Vanessa took a deep breath and, with a nervous grin, said, "Ready for this, babe?"

Veronica nodded, her heart pounding in her chest. "Let's do it."

They entered the dimly lit foyer, which was adorned with faded portraits of the long-dead family. Vanessa's flashlight flickered, casting unsettling shadows on the peeling wallpaper. The silence was deafening, broken only by the sound of their own footsteps.

As they ventured deeper into the manor, they encountered strange phenomena: doors slammed shut on their own, ghostly whispers echoed through the corridors, and cold drafts brushed against their cheeks. But the couple pressed on, determined to unravel the mysteries within.

They eventually entered the family's old dining room, where an ancient, dusty table was set for a long-forgotten dinner. Suddenly, the room grew colder, and their breath became visible. A spectral figure materialized at the head of the table, a motherly figure in a tattered Victorian dress. She raised a hand, pointing to a spot on the table as if inviting them to sit.

Vanessa and Veronica exchanged glances, their hearts pounding. But curiosity got the better of them, and they took their seats. The ghostly woman began to tell a heartbreaking tale of love, betrayal, and tragedy. Her words filled the room with sorrow, and Vanessa and Veronica listened, captivated.

As the story reached its climax, the dining room seemed to come to life. The apparitions of the family members appeared, reenacting the fateful events of that night. Vanessa and Veronica watched in awe, realizing that these ghosts were not malevolent but trapped in their own painful memories.

Touched by the family's plight, the couple decided to help. They began researching the history of Whispering Manor and discovered a long-lost diary that held the key to setting the spirits free. With great determination, they performed a ritual that allowed the spirits to finally find peace.

As the final ghostly figure dissipated, the manor's oppressive atmosphere lifted. Vanessa and Veronica felt a profound sense of accomplishment and relief. Their haunted house adventure had turned into a quest for compassion and closure.

Leaving Whispering Manor behind, hand in hand, they realized that the scariest things in life were not always what they seemed. Sometimes, the bravest thing one could do was to confront their fears and uncover the hidden stories that lay beneath the surface. Vanessa and Veronica's love for adventure had brought them face to face with the supernatural, but it had also allowed them to bring peace to restless souls and to strengthen the bond between them even more.

Halloween with God Uncles
Damian Wayne had always been known for his brooding demeanor and stoic nature, but Halloween was a time when he could let his guard down just a little bit and enjoy the festivities. However, this year was different. His father, Bruce Wayne (aka Batman), had been called away on urgent business in Gotham City, leaving Damian with an unusual predicament: he had to spend Halloween with his god uncles, Jervis Tetch (the Mad Hatter) and Jonathan Crane (the Scarecrow).

Damian wasn't particularly fond of either of his god uncles. Tetch was a deranged and obsessed individual whose fascination with mind control technology was deeply unsettling. Crane, on the other hand, was a master of fear, and his sadistic experiments with fear toxins had earned him a place in Batman's rogues' gallery.

As Damian reluctantly arrived at Tetch's hideout, which was adorned with a bizarre collection of oversized hats and teacups, he couldn't help but feel a sense of foreboding. Tetch, dressed in his Mad Hatter costume, greeted him with an unnerving grin.

"Ah, Damian, my dear boy! How wonderful it is to have you here for our little Halloween celebration!" Tetch exclaimed, his eyes darting around the room as if searching for invisible rabbits.

Damian raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. "Let's get this over with."

Inside the hideout, Tetch had set up a makeshift tea party with an assortment of strange-looking cookies and brightly colored beverages. Damian reluctantly took a seat, eyeing the treats with suspicion.

As Damian tried to endure the awkward tea party, Tetch couldn't help but prattle on about his latest mind-control inventions and his obsession with Alice in Wonderland. Damian tuned him out as much as possible, trying to think of an escape plan.

Just as Damian was about to make his excuses and leave, the room suddenly went dark, and a haunting voice echoed through the hideout. "Welcome, Damian Wayne, to a night of your deepest fears."

The lights came back on, and there stood Jonathan Crane, dressed in his Scarecrow costume. His fear toxin had already filled the room, and Damian could feel his heart racing.

"I thought we'd make this Halloween truly memorable," Crane said with a wicked grin.

Damian's training kicked in as he tried to resist the effects of the fear toxin. He knew he had to stay calm and focused to overcome his deepest fears. But as the room seemed to transform into a nightmarish landscape, his resolve was tested.

Tetch continued to prattle on about tea parties and Wonderland, while Crane unleashed wave after wave of terrifying hallucinations. Damian's worst fears came to life before his eyes, and he fought to keep his composure.

Just when it seemed like Damian would succumb to the fear, a burst of smoke and the sound of batarangs filled the room. Batman had arrived, having been alerted to Damian's situation by Alfred.

The Dark Knight quickly neutralized Tetch and Crane, dispelling the fear toxin and restoring the hideout to normal. Damian let out a sigh of relief, grateful for his father's timely intervention.

As they left the hideout, Damian couldn't help but smirk at his god uncles, who were now bound and defeated. "Perhaps next year, you two can find a more suitable way to celebrate Halloween."

Batman nodded in agreement, and together they walked into the night, leaving behind the eccentric and sinister world of the Mad Hatter and the Scarecrow. Damian had survived a Halloween unlike any other, and he knew that even in the darkest of situations, he could always count on his father to come to his rescue.

Chapter Text

Harley Quinn had seen her fair share of crazy situations in Gotham City, but nothing could have prepared her for the babysitting gig she'd taken on. The Mad Hatter and Scarecrow, two of the city's most notorious villains, had somehow managed to become fathers, and they needed a babysitter for their mischievous little ones. Harley had been convinced to take the job, mostly because she couldn't resist the idea of having some little hooligans to teach her unique brand of mayhem to.

On a sunny afternoon in Gotham, Harley arrived at the Mad Hatter's hideout, which was a whimsical and twisted wonderland of its own. As she knocked on the door, the Mad Hatter opened it with a wide grin, a top hat perched precariously on his head. He ushered Harley inside, and she couldn't help but notice how the room was filled with oversized teacups, playing cards, and an assortment of bizarre decorations.

"Welcome to our tea party, Harley dear!" the Mad Hatter said, his voice tinged with madness. "May I introduce you to my little rascals, March and Alice."

March, a young boy with a mischievous glint in his eye, was dressed in a miniature Mad Hatter costume, complete with a tiny top hat. Alice, his younger sister, wore a blue dress and had a rather large stuffed rabbit clutched in her arms.

Next, Harley made her way to the Scarecrow's lair, a place filled with eerie, fear-inducing contraptions. The Scarecrow greeted her, his voice a chilling whisper as he said, "Hello, Miss Quinn. I trust you've met our little terrors."

Indeed, Harley had. The Scarecrow's children, Jack and Jill, were a pair of unruly siblings who had taken on their father's penchant for frightening antics. Jack had a miniature scarecrow mask on, while Jill clung to a tattered burlap sack like a security blanket.

Once the introductions were complete, the Mad Hatter and Scarecrow handed Harley a list of instructions, which included "Tea Party Time" for March and Alice, and "Fearful Fun Hour" for Jack and Jill. Harley raised an eyebrow at the instructions but decided to give it her best shot.

As the afternoon progressed, Harley engaged in a surreal tea party with March and Alice, who seemed to be delighted by her tales of chaos and mischief. They sipped tea from oversized cups and giggled as Harley tried to teach them the art of pranks. Soon, they were all wearing tiny clown wigs and smearing their faces with face paint.

Meanwhile, in the Scarecrow's domain, Harley led Jack and Jill through a spooktacular playtime filled with scary stories and frightening games. She even showed them some of her own acrobatic tricks to scare off unwanted visitors. The kids were fascinated and quickly picked up the knack for creating fear-inducing scenarios.

As the day drew to a close, Harley managed to put both sets of children to bed. It was a tiring but oddly fulfilling experience. She'd survived a day with two of Gotham's most deranged villains' offspring, and even managed to teach them a few things about causing chaos.

Before leaving, she tucked in the kids and whispered, "Don't tell your dads all the stuff I taught you, okay? Just save it for a rainy day."

As she made her way out of the hideouts, Harley couldn't help but smile. She had managed to turn a bizarre babysitting job into an opportunity to impart her unique brand of madness to a new generation. Only in Gotham could such an absurd adventure unfold, and Harley Quinn wouldn't have had it any other way.

...

Double Date in the Shadows

In the heart of Gotham City, where chaos and villainy reigned, an unusual double date was set to unfold. Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, known for their complex relationship, had decided to go on a double date with the Mad Hatter and Scarecrow, two of Gotham's most eccentric and twisted minds.

The night was dark, and a faint mist hung over the city as Harley and Poison Ivy made their way to a quaint, secluded bistro. They had decided on a place far away from their usual haunts, a little spot that catered to a quieter crowd. The choice had been made to accommodate their not-so-conventional companions for the evening.

As they arrived, they saw the Mad Hatter and Scarecrow already seated at a table, both in their villainous regalia but trying to look as presentable as possible. The Mad Hatter was meticulously arranging his numerous hats, while the Scarecrow adjusted his burlap sack mask. Despite their appearances, the two villains seemed quite delighted to be on a date.

"Harley, Ivy! You're right on time!" the Mad Hatter exclaimed, while the Scarecrow greeted them with a cold, raspy laugh.

As the evening progressed, the conversation at the table became an eclectic mix of topics. The Mad Hatter, a collector of oddities, shared stories of his latest hat-themed heists, making everyone laugh with his madcap escapades. The Scarecrow, with his eerily calm demeanor, spoke of his experiments in fear, describing how he used his fear gas to manipulate the minds of his victims.

Poison Ivy, with her love for plant life, found herself strangely fascinated by the Mad Hatter's collection of hats. She even started discussing how certain hats could be used to grow unique and deadly plants. The Mad Hatter listened with intrigue, already plotting how to incorporate this botanical knowledge into his schemes.

Harley Quinn and the Scarecrow, despite their differences, found common ground in their love for chaos and mischief. They swapped tales of their run-ins with the Batman and compared their respective "greatest hits" in the world of criminality.

Throughout the night, the restaurant staff watched the odd quartet in a mix of amusement and disbelief. A couple of onlookers whispered about how they were either witnessing a bizarre social experiment or an unusual but harmonious meeting of minds.

Dinner concluded with a delightful array of desserts, and to everyone's surprise, the evening had been a resounding success. It was a reminder that even in Gotham's dark and twisted corners, connections could be formed in the unlikeliest of places.

As they said their goodbyes, the Mad Hatter, ever the showman, tipped his hat with a flourish, and the Scarecrow offered a nod of approval.

"Thanks for a splendid evening, ladies," the Mad Hatter said. "It was simply mad!"

"We should do this again sometime," Poison Ivy remarked with a wry smile.

Harley Quinn, her heart lighter than usual, agreed. "Yeah, Puddin' and Scarecrow, you ain't half bad when you ain't terrorizin' the whole city."

With laughter and a touch of chaos in the air, the unlikely double date had proven that even in Gotham's darkest corners, there was room for a bit of companionship and shared madness.

...

Demon's Warning to Strange

Chapter Text

Crowley's Return Home Joyful
Crowley stepped out of the infernal meeting in Hell, feeling a wave of relief wash over him as he left behind the oppressive atmosphere of that fiery domain. The meeting had been particularly grueling, even for a demon of his stature. He couldn't wait to return to his cozy home on Earth, where his loving house husband, Aziraphale, awaited him.

As he materialized in his London apartment, he was greeted by the soothing sight of candles flickering in the dimly lit room and the aroma of a homemade meal that wafted through the air. The heavenly scent of Aziraphale's cooking never failed to calm him after a trying day in Hell.

Crowley loosened his tie and slipped out of his designer suit, shedding the trappings of his demon persona to reveal his true form – a being of ethereal beauty, although with a few distinguishing snake-like features. He couldn't help but smile as he heard Aziraphale's footsteps approaching. There was something incredibly comforting about knowing that he had a place to call home, and that home was where Aziraphale was.

The angel walked into the room, a gentle smile on his face, his celestial presence shining like a beacon of light. "Welcome back, dear," he said, as he embraced Crowley, his soft, feathery wings enveloping them both.

Crowley closed his eyes, savoring the embrace. "You have no idea how good it is to be home," he whispered.

Aziraphale pulled back, his blue eyes filled with warmth and concern. "Was the meeting that bad?"

Crowley sighed, but a mischievous glint sparkled in his golden eyes. "Oh, it was as dreadful as you can imagine, my dear angel. But I've come to realize that even the darkest pits of Hell can't hold a candle to the warmth of your love and the comfort of our little sanctuary."

Aziraphale chuckled, running his fingers through Crowley's dark, unruly hair. "Well, I'm here to make everything better, as always. Dinner's ready, and I've prepared your favorite – Beef Bourguignon."

Crowley's eyes lit up. "You truly are a miracle-worker," he said, planting a soft kiss on Aziraphale's lips. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Aziraphale blushed, but his smile never wavered. "And I don't know what I'd do without you, my dear."

They shared a quiet, intimate dinner, the warmth of their love filling every corner of their cozy apartment. The troubles of Hell seemed a world away, and in the presence of Aziraphale, Crowley felt truly at home.

As the night deepened, the two of them retired to their shared bed, where they curled up together under the soft covers, arms wrapped around each other. In the safety of each other's arms, they drifted off to sleep, knowing that no matter what challenges the world might throw at them, they had found their own little haven of love and understanding in each other's hearts.

Crowley's return from Hell would always be a relief, but it was returning to Aziraphale that made it truly special, reminding him that love could triumph over even the darkest of forces, and that their love story was a celestial and infernal miracle, all rolled into one.
...
Doubts of Love Removed
Aziraphale had always been a bit of a worrier. It was in his nature as an angel to be concerned about the welfare of humanity and the state of the world. But lately, he had been wrestling with a different kind of worry, a personal one that gnawed at his heart and left him feeling strangely vulnerable.

It was a quiet evening in the bookshop, and Aziraphale sat at his desk, flipping through the pages of an ancient tome. He couldn't concentrate, his thoughts constantly drifting to a particular demon he'd known for centuries. Crowley. There was something about the demon that had managed to worm its way into Aziraphale's heart, and it was causing him no end of trouble.

He had tried to dismiss it as mere friendship. After all, an angel and a demon couldn't possibly be more than that, right? But as the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, Aziraphale couldn't deny the truth any longer. He was in love with Crowley, and that love filled him with doubt and fear.

One evening, as Crowley reclined on a couch in the bookshop, Aziraphale couldn't help but stare at the demon. He was breathtakingly beautiful, his long, dark hair falling across his sharp features. Aziraphale's heart ached, and he knew he had to do something about it. But what could he do? Angels didn't fall in love, especially not with demons.

With a deep sigh, Aziraphale finally mustered the courage to speak. "Crowley," he began, his voice trembling ever so slightly.

Crowley looked up from the book he was pretending to read, arching one of his trademark demonically sardonic eyebrows. "What's bothering you, angel?"

Aziraphale hesitated for a moment, then decided to bare his soul. "It's just that... I'm worried, Crowley. I'm worried about this... feeling I have. It's not something I'm supposed to feel, you know. It's not something I can explain away. I'm in love with you, and it terrifies me."

Crowley's eyes widened in surprise. He hadn't expected Aziraphale to confess his feelings so openly. He didn't know what to say, and the room fell into a heavy silence.

Aziraphale continued, his voice wavering but resolute. "I want to stop doubting myself, Crowley. I want to stop being afraid of my own emotions. I want to be sure of this love, sure of you."

Crowley, after a moment's pause, looked at Aziraphale with a mixture of sympathy and affection. "Aziraphale, my dear, I can't change the way you feel. Love is a powerful and uncontrollable force. But... there might be something I can do."

Aziraphale's eyes widened with hope. "What do you mean?"

Crowley's gaze took on a hypnotic quality as he locked eyes with Aziraphale. The angel felt his worries and doubts start to fade away, as if they were being pulled out of him by some invisible force. He couldn't look away from Crowley's gaze, which held him captive.

"As much as I'd love to take advantage of your love for me, angel, I can't erase it. But I can make you doubt your doubts," Crowley said, his voice low and soothing. "I can make you see that love isn't something to be afraid of. It's something beautiful, something worth embracing. You don't have to worry, Aziraphale. You can love me without fear."

Aziraphale felt the weight of his doubt lift as if a burden had been removed from his shoulders. He was left with a newfound sense of clarity and peace. "Thank you, Crowley," he whispered.

Crowley leaned in closer, their faces mere inches apart. "You're welcome, angel," he said softly before he pressed his lips to Aziraphale's, sealing their newfound understanding with a kiss.

As their lips met, Aziraphale felt the warmth of love replacing his doubts, and he realized that sometimes, love was worth all the risks and fears that came with it.
...
Mouse Meets Charming Snake
Once upon a time in a world where shifters roamed freely, there lived a mouse shifter named Aziraphale. He was a quiet and unassuming creature who spent his days foraging for food and his nights nestled in a cozy burrow hidden deep in the forest. Aziraphale had always been cautious, aware that many predators lurked in the shadows. However, he had never met anyone quite like Crowley.

Crowley was a snake shifter, known for his charm and mesmerizing presence. He moved through the underbrush with a sinuous grace, his scales shimmering like black silk. Aziraphale, one day, while searching for a meal, encountered the enigmatic snake shifter, and his life took a most unexpected turn.

As Aziraphale scurried through the undergrowth, searching for seeds and nuts, he stumbled upon Crowley, who was coiled lazily beneath a gnarled tree. Their eyes met, and Aziraphale was struck by the mesmerizing, golden gaze of the snake. He felt a strange pull, an attraction that he couldn't quite understand.

"Hello there, little mouse," Crowley hissed, his voice as hypnotic as his gaze. "You seem quite lost in this vast forest."

Aziraphale, normally shy and cautious, found himself strangely at ease in Crowley's presence. "I... I'm just searching for some food," he stammered, drawn in by the snake shifter's charm.

Crowley's forked tongue flicked out, and he slithered closer to Aziraphale, his eyes never leaving the mouse. "You know, I can help you find the most delicious morsels in the forest. All you need to do is trust me."

Aziraphale hesitated but couldn't resist the allure of the snake. "I suppose I could use some help," he admitted, a hint of vulnerability in his voice.

With that, Crowley's hypnotic powers took over. He began to sway gently from side to side, his golden eyes never leaving Aziraphale's. As the mouse shifter stared at the swaying snake, his thoughts grew hazy, and his will weakened. It was as if he was falling into a deep trance, captivated by the snake's every movement and word.

Crowley's voice, a soft and seductive whisper, filled Aziraphale's mind. "Relax, little mouse. Let go of all your worries and trust in me. I will keep you safe and show you a world of wonders you've never imagined."

Aziraphale's resistance crumbled completely, and he closed his eyes, succumbing to Crowley's enchantment. With each sway of the snake's body and each word that passed his lips, Aziraphale's trust in the snake shifter deepened. He felt an irresistible bond forming, one that transcended their differences as shifters.

As the days turned into weeks, Aziraphale and Crowley became inseparable. The mouse shifter no longer feared the forest, for he had the snake's protection. They shared their stories, their secrets, and their dreams under the moonlight. Aziraphale discovered that there was more to Crowley than his hypnotic powers, and Crowley found solace in the gentle mouse's companionship.

Their unusual friendship flourished, proving that love could transcend even the most extraordinary circumstances. Aziraphale, the cautious mouse, and Crowley, the charming snake, were a living testament to the magic of the world of shifters, where the most unexpected bonds could be formed in the blink of an eye.

Chapter Text

Bat-Mite and Chimera Mischief
In the heart of Gotham City, on a particularly quiet night, Bat-Mite, the mischievous imp from the Fifth Dimension, found himself bored and in need of some entertainment. Determined to spice up his evening, Bat-Mite decided to venture into uncharted territory—his version of uncharted territory, at least.

Meanwhile, in a hidden chamber beneath Wayne Manor, Prince Michael, the extraordinary chimera with the upper body of a cat and the lower body of a snake, was indulging in some late-night snacks. The royal chimera was known for his regal demeanor, but his love for the absurd and his fondness for mischief rivaled even that of Bat-Mite.

As fate would have it, the dimensions aligned, and Bat-Mite stumbled upon Prince Michael's secret lair. Intrigued by the chimera's peculiar appearance and the promise of a partner in crime, Bat-Mite greeted him with a mischievous grin.

"Hey there, your majesty! I'm Bat-Mite, and I think we're going to be the best of pals!" The imp's enthusiasm was infectious, and Prince Michael found himself intrigued by the tiny creature.

"Bat-Mite, is it? What brings you to my domain?" Prince Michael inquired, his cat eyes gleaming with curiosity.

"Oh, just the usual. Boredom, mischief, and a dash of chaos!" Bat-Mite replied, twirling in the air.

A plan hatched in the imp's mind, and soon the dynamic duo was ready to shake up the monotony of Gotham City. Batman, ever vigilant, was on patrol, unaware that his evening was about to take an unexpected turn.

As Batman glided between the towering buildings, he noticed a disturbance on the city's surveillance cameras. Prince Michael, with Bat-Mite perched on his shoulder, had decided to stage a playful heist. The chimera slithered into a high-end jewelry store, while Bat-Mite created distracting illusions and amusing pranks to baffle the Dark Knight.

Batman, always one step ahead, arrived at the scene, ready to apprehend the intruder. However, he found himself confounded by the absurdity of the situation. Prince Michael, with a necklace of stolen diamonds dangling from his feline neck, gave Batman an innocent look that even the Caped Crusader couldn't resist.

As Batman attempted to reason with the chimera prince, Bat-Mite unleashed an army of miniature Batmen, each armed with custard pies. Chaos ensued, with laughter echoing through the normally somber streets of Gotham.

Eventually, the imp and the chimera revealed their true motives—to inject a bit of joy and frivolity into Batman's night. The Caped Crusader, though initially annoyed, couldn't help but crack a smile. Prince Michael and Bat-Mite, satisfied with their night of pranks, bid Batman farewell and vanished into the shadows.

From that night on, whenever Gotham felt a bit too grim, the citizens would catch glimpses of Bat-Mite and Prince Michael, spreading laughter and causing mischief. The unlikely duo had become the city's secret guardians of fun, adding a touch of whimsy to the world of darkness. And so, Gotham City embraced the chaos, grateful for the occasional reprieve provided by its most eccentric defenders.
...
Bunny and Crow Love
In the heart of the Enchanted Forest, where the trees whispered secrets and magical creatures roamed freely, there lived a bunny shifter named Jarvis. Jarvis was a gentle soul with soft, white fur and big, expressive eyes that sparkled with curiosity. He lived in a cozy burrow beneath the roots of an ancient oak tree, where he felt safe and snug.

Jarvis had a special partner in his life, a Crow shifter named Jonathan. Jonathan was sleek and black, his feathers shining in the dappled sunlight as he soared through the sky. The two had an extraordinary bond, and despite their differences, they shared a love that transcended the boundaries of their animal forms.

One sunny afternoon, Jarvis was nestled in his burrow, waiting for Jonathan to return from his foraging expedition. The air was filled with the sweet scent of wildflowers, and the distant calls of other forest creatures created a symphony of nature around him.

Jarvis twitched his pink nose with anticipation as he heard the familiar sound of wings approaching. Jonathan landed gracefully outside the burrow entrance, a small bag clutched in his beak. The bag was filled with nuts, berries, and other delectable treats that Jonathan had gathered for their meal.

"Hey, Jarvis!" Jonathan cawed, shifting into his human form as he entered the burrow. His dark hair ruffled from the transformation, and his eyes sparkled with the same mischievous glint as his crow eyes.

Jarvis's ears perked up, and he hopped over to greet Jonathan, his fluffy tail twitching with joy. "You're back! What did you bring?" Jarvis asked, his eyes widening with curiosity.

Jonathan grinned, setting the bag down. "I found some delicious nuts and the juiciest berries in the forest. We're in for a treat tonight!" he exclaimed.

The two shifters settled down in the cozy burrow, sharing stories of their day. Jonathan recounted his adventures in the treetops, while Jarvis spoke of the fascinating creatures he had encountered near their burrow. As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow across the forest, they feasted on the food Jonathan had gathered.

Under the gentle light of the moon, Jarvis and Jonathan transformed back into their animal forms, cuddling close in the burrow. The Enchanted Forest echoed with the soft sounds of their contentment, a testament to the extraordinary bond between a bunny shifter and a crow shifter.

As they drifted off to sleep, nestled in the safety of their burrow, the magic of the Enchanted Forest enveloped them, weaving dreams of endless adventures and the enduring love between a bunny and a crow.
...
Cat Snake Duo Heist
In the heart of Gotham City, where shadows clung to the towering buildings and mysteries lurked in every corner, a quaint little café stood as an oasis of calm. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the soothing hum of conversation filled the air. In a secluded corner of the café, a peculiar duo sat at a small table, capturing the attention of those who dared to look their way.

Michael, an anthropomorphic cat snake chimera with sleek black fur, amber eyes, and a sinuous tail that wrapped around the chair, sipped delicately at his cup of chamomile tea. His feline ears twitched with every sound, and his slitted snake eyes surveyed the surroundings with a mix of curiosity and wariness. Despite his unusual appearance, Michael exuded an air of refinement that transcended his animalistic features.

Seated across from him was Selena Kyle, Gotham's infamous cat burglar, known for her cunning and grace. She wore a sleek black outfit that matched the city's nocturnal atmosphere, and her mischievous green eyes observed Michael with a mixture of amusement and interest.

"So, Michael," Selena purred, taking a delicate bite of her salad, "what brings a cat snake like you to a place like this?"

Michael adjusted his glasses, a touch of embarrassment evident in his feline features. "Well, Selena, I heard this café served the best fish tacos in Gotham, and I couldn't resist trying them."

Selena chuckled, a sound as smooth as the silk she often stole. "Fish tacos, huh? You have eclectic tastes, my friend."

As they continued their conversation, Michael shared tales of his unusual upbringing and how he came to be a chimera. Selena, always drawn to unique individuals, found herself fascinated by the complexity of Michael's existence. Amidst the laughter and shared stories, a camaraderie blossomed between them.

Over plates of fish tacos and cups of tea, they discovered common interests and unexpected connections. Michael's intelligence and Selena's quick wit created a dynamic that transcended their differences. The café's patrons discreetly watched the duo, wondering about the nature of their relationship.

As the lunch date neared its end, Selena leaned back in her chair, a sly smile playing on her lips. "You know, Michael, I've been thinking. We could make quite the team. A cat and a snake—imagine the heists we could pull off together."

Michael arched an eyebrow, his tail flicking playfully. "Are you proposing a partnership, Selena? I must admit, the idea has its merits."

Selena reached across the table, extending a gloved hand. "Partners in crime, then?"

Michael hesitated for a moment, his slitted eyes narrowing thoughtfully. Then, with a sly grin, he extended his own hand, their fingers interlocking in a pact sealed over fish tacos and chamomile tea. The unlikely duo, a cat snake chimera and a feline femme fatale, embarked on a new chapter of their lives, ready to navigate the shadows of Gotham City together.

Chapter Text

Friendship Through Sickness
Edward Nygma, better known as the enigmatic Riddler, was renowned for his brilliant mind and cunning puzzles that stumped even the most astute detectives. He lived a life shrouded in mystery and thrived on his intellectual escapades. However, behind the facade of his sharp wit lay a vulnerability that few had witnessed.

One gloomy evening, Gotham was engulfed in a relentless downpour, thunder echoing through the city streets. Edward Nygma had been working tirelessly on a new series of mind-bending riddles when a sudden wave of sickness overcame him. His normally sharp mind grew foggy, his body weakened by a fever that gripped him tightly.

Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter, and Jonathan Crane, also known as the Scarecrow, were Edward's closest confidants. They had always admired his intellect and shared a unique bond forged through their mutual understanding of the darker recesses of the human mind.

When Jervis received a distress call from Edward, he wasted no time and rushed to his aid. Finding Edward in a state of delirium, Jervis immediately contacted Jonathan for help. Despite their own eccentricities and preoccupations, both villains were deeply concerned for their friend's well-being.

Together, they carried Edward to Jervis's hideout—a peculiar and whimsical place resembling a scene from a twisted tea party. Jonathan used his knowledge of medicinal herbs and concocted a potent brew to lower Edward's fever, while Jervis crafted an elaborate puzzle box to distract him from his discomfort.

As Edward lay in a feverish stupor, his friends took turns keeping vigil by his side. Jervis regaled him with whimsical tales and riddles, hoping to coax a smile from their typically witty friend. Jonathan, despite his typically stoic demeanor, showed a surprising tenderness, adjusting cold compresses and monitoring Edward's condition with care.

Days turned into nights, and the storm continued to rage outside, matching the turmoil within Edward's weakened body. But the unwavering companionship of Jervis and Jonathan became his guiding light through the darkness of his illness.

Gradually, Edward's fever broke, and he began to regain his strength. His friends' unwavering support and care had played a pivotal role in his recovery. Grateful for their selfless dedication, Edward couldn't help but be touched by the depth of their friendship, seeing beyond the facade of their villainous personas.

As Edward finally emerged from the haze of sickness, he vowed to cherish his friendship with Jervis and Jonathan more than ever. Despite their roles as adversaries in Gotham, their bond transcended the boundaries of hero and villain. They were, above all else, true friends who stood by each other in times of need.

And as the storm clouds parted, leaving Gotham bathed in the gentle light of dawn, the trio shared a rare moment of camaraderie, knowing that their friendship had weathered a different kind of storm—one that had strengthened the ties that bound them together.
...
Baking a cake friendship
Once upon a time, in the quaint town of Gotham, there lived two eccentric individuals who were known for their brilliant minds and peculiar hobbies. Jarvis Tetch, a skilled inventor, was known for his expertise in robotics and gadgetry. Edward Nigma, on the other hand, was a master riddler, famous for his mind-boggling puzzles and enigmatic personality. Despite their contrasting interests, they shared an unbreakable bond of friendship.

One sunny afternoon, Jarvis Tetch found himself deep in thought while tinkering with his latest invention in his workshop. As he soldered wires and calibrated circuits, a sudden realization struck him - it was Edward's birthday the next day! With a pang of guilt for almost forgetting his best friend's special day, Jarvis decided to do something extraordinary to celebrate.

With a mischievous gleam in his eye, Jarvis put aside his gadgets and headed straight to the kitchen. Despite not being known for his culinary skills, he was determined to bake a cake for Edward. Armed with a recipe book and his unwavering determination, Jarvis embarked on his baking adventure.

In the kitchen, flour clouds and sugar sprinkles danced in the air as Jarvis meticulously followed the cake recipe. He measured ingredients with utmost precision, his concentration unwavering as he mixed the batter. Despite a few comical mishaps, such as mistaking salt for sugar and briefly setting off the smoke alarm, Jarvis persevered with unwavering determination.

Meanwhile, Edward was immersed in his riddles and puzzles, unaware of Jarvis's secret mission in the kitchen. As evening approached, the tantalizing aroma of freshly baked cake wafted through the air, drawing Edward's attention away from his mind-teasing games.

Curious, Edward followed the delightful scent to the kitchen, where he found Jarvis, adorned in an apron and surrounded by baking utensils.

"Jarvis, what on earth are you doing?" Edward exclaimed, a hint of amusement in his voice.

With a sheepish grin, Jarvis revealed his surprise. "I'm baking a cake for you, my dear friend, as a token of our friendship on your special day!"

Edward was touched by Jarvis's heartfelt gesture. Despite his initial astonishment at the sight of his friend attempting to bake, he couldn't help but chuckle at the mess in the kitchen.

As they waited for the cake to cool down, they reminisced about their adventures and shared laughter over Jarvis's baking escapades. When the moment arrived, Jarvis carefully decorated the cake with intricate frosting, crafting a riddle-inspired design on top.

With a sense of accomplishment, Jarvis presented the cake to Edward, who was genuinely touched by the effort and sentiment behind the sweet gesture. They enjoyed the cake together, savoring each slice while engaging in friendly banter and exchanging clever riddles.

In the end, it wasn't just about the cake itself but the joy of friendship and the memories created through Jarvis's heartfelt attempt to celebrate Edward's special day in his own unique way. And amidst the laughter and shared moments, their bond as the most unlikely yet inseparable friends grew even stronger.
...
Gotham's Unconventional Wedding
In the vibrant and enigmatic city of Gotham, where shadows danced along the towering skyscrapers and the echoes of both heroism and villainy resounded, an unconventional union was about to take place. It was a day unlike any other, where the twisted and mysterious souls of Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter, and Jonathan Crane, the Scarecrow, would intertwine in an unexpected bond of love and devotion.

The venue chosen for this extraordinary occasion was an old, forgotten theater that had once showcased grand performances. Now, adorned with eccentric decorations in hues of purple and green, it set the stage for a peculiar yet beautiful wedding.

Edward Nigma, the enigmatic and cunning Riddler, stood proudly as the best man. Dressed in a tailored suit adorned with question mark motifs, he watched the scene unfold with an air of both amusement and genuine joy.

The guests, an eclectic mix of Gotham's underworld figures and some surprisingly familiar faces from the law-abiding citizenry, gathered eagerly. Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy adorned the aisles with vibrant flowers, while Two-Face flipped his coin to decide where to sit.

As the melodious strains of an eerie yet enchanting tune filled the air, Jervis Tetch, looking dapper in his purple suit, took his place at the altar. His heart raced with excitement and nervousness, his eyes never leaving the entrance.

Soon after, Jonathan Crane, in his iconic Scarecrow attire, walked down the aisle with an undeniable elegance, his haunting gaze locked onto Jervis. Their eyes met, and in that moment, the world seemed to stand still.

Edward Nigma couldn't help but smirk as he observed the unlikely romance blossoming before his eyes. He had seen the complex puzzles and mind games these two had orchestrated separately against the Dark Knight, but their love story was an enigma he hadn't foreseen.

The ceremony, officiated by none other than Oswald Cobblepot, a.k.a. the Penguin, was a peculiar mix of heartfelt vows and dark humor. Laughter echoed through the theater as the couple exchanged rings – a simple band for Tetch, intricately designed with a crow motif for Crane.

After the vows were exchanged and sealed with a kiss that sent a shiver down the spines of onlookers, the newlyweds took to the dance floor. The Joker, against all expectations, even managed a tear as he toasted the couple with his trademark smile.

Edward, being the master of ceremonies that he was, orchestrated a quiz that challenged the guests' wit and cunning, keeping the atmosphere lively and engaging.

As the night progressed, Edward found himself engaged in lively conversations with various guests, using the opportunity to discuss riddles and puzzles, relishing the challenge of engaging the minds of Gotham's finest criminal minds and heroes alike.

Amidst the revelry and celebration, Edward realized that love was indeed the most unpredictable riddle of them all. As he raised his glass to toast the newlyweds, he couldn’t help but admire the complexity and beauty in the union of two minds that society would deem unconventional, yet undeniably genuine.

The night wore on with laughter, dance, and mischief, setting a new standard for the term 'Gotham wedding.' And as Edward bid his friends farewell, he walked into the night, pondering the enigmatic nature of love and the infinite possibilities it brought to the lives of even the most unusual souls in Gotham City.

Chapter Text

Many Monsters roam the streets of Gotham, but tonight a special one rooms, a monster that devours other monsters

his name is Michael and he is literally a monster, his human exterior hides a ravenous chimeric Beast beneath, it's twin Jaws ache to stretch and devour, the serpent that acts as his tail is cramped beneath the veils of glamor and pants that hide it from sight, his eyes shine with predator hunger, and his stomach growls to be filled with the meat of sinners

his unwitting prey sits at his desk, the back of his bald head teasing, Michael licks his lips Imagining the feel of the man's skull cracking like an egg beneath his powerful jaws, or maybe slipping down his gullet without struggle stuck in a dizzy trance, be it in pieces or whole the man's getting his stomach, that's something Michael knows as and unchangeable truth

the window slips open quietly, and Hugo barely gets out a scream before one of Michael's hands muffles him, and with the barest amount of Magic the man's vocal cords surrendered useless, his mouth is open but no sound comes out

Michael looks down on a man all of his sins open to him like a dictionary, and he knows in that moment this man is getting in him in pieces, he doesn't deserve an unknowing sleepy death, he deserve to feel every pound of Flesh he bites from him

Hugo can only look up at his attacker as his form shifts and bulges, it starts with his arms, more specifically his hands, the man- no monsters fingernails pushed from the sockets quickly replaced by sharp feline claws, the rest of the hand flesh is torn by a bulging paw ripping from beneath the skin

the monsters form continues to be revealed via this horrible transformation, from hand to arm purple fur tears into existence, soon both still humanoid arms I completely changed, before he can shake himself from his horrified Fascination to try and struggle away from his pinned position, is Fascination is taken by another thing

the creature's eyes twist and twirl with colors, he finds himself losing track of time but this Blissful unknowing state is short-lived, soon he's back to reality the creature is now standing, he tries to move but some Supernatural force keeps him pinned

the sound of ripping shoe leather takes his attention to his side, the beasts once human foot begins to change as well, much like with the fingernails the toenail is a similarly pushed from their sockets by glossy Predator claws, the skin of the foot is split open to reveal the feline hind feet, the changes continue and it's only now that strange notes that no skin is left behind by the true form ripping for, soon the Beast has feline legs, which look more and comically right than the arms, though he still stands quite well on his new appendages

before Hugo can try again after getting up, another strange thing happens, something begins to grow from the man's behind, Hugo is expecting a feline tail, but the thing that emerges is much too scaly, Hugo ghost when the serpentine had of a Periwinkle snake looks him quite hungry in the eyes

" not this one periwinkle, he's going down the chunky way", the creature above him speaks to the snake, who seems to understand the feline half of its body and slinks back sadly, Hugo almost swears the thing frowns, though he's much more focused on the words the creature said

uselessly he struggles to free himself from what sort of sorcery keeps him paralyzed to the floor, and as he does the creature continues to change, the man's shirt and torso fresh rip open to reveal furry biceps, the creature leans down to leer at Hugo, he places each of his furry paw hands on either side of his own head. And begins to rip

Hugo feels like he's going to puke, but whatever keeps him down also keeps the bile down, and he can only watch as the creature rips off its own face to reveal the feline one beneath, it's teeth which are far more than any kind of cat should have shine like perfect ivory

soon one of the pawed hands is lifting Hugo's arm up, it's mouth leans down open with hungry excitement

and then piercing pain, as a chunk is ripped out of his arm

...

Hours later Michael Pats his extended belly, the only thing not picked to the bone of Hugo's was his head, he passed out after Michael finished with his other arm, and most likely his heart gave out not soon after

shame Michael thinks to himself, he did much preferred if the man lived a little bit longer, he did silently squeal so pretty

but the deed is done and with a quick Shake, his human disguise is set to rights, and he's off slipping back through the window, Hugo's head in one of his arms

Chapter Text

Arkham Asylum had changed ever since a new Warden had been instated, Warden Michael looked like he'd be right at home in a vintage Home Improvement magazine, with his preference towards casual suits and fondness for singers like Frank Sinatra, which was demonstrated thoroughly by him blasting short Snippets before announcements over the intercom,

many changes were made to the asylum, some the inmates liked very much like installing softer beds and more variety in the lunchroom, others... Well

jervis tetch sat in one of the chairs next to the warden's office like a misbehaving child does when he's called to the principles, and he can't help but feel like he's a misbehaving child, he knows he'll be treated like one when he walks through that door, he can hear the punishment being dulled to the Joker, surprisingly the joke is only had to go in there three times the one his ears are privy to is the third

he set his mind to other things, not cabbages or Kings mind, but what led him to sit waiting for a very sore bottom

he knows for certain it's the Joker's fault, damn that clown and his persuasiveness, he should have known any prank the clown suggested would end badly with a new warden in charge, Michael didn't find it very funny when someone had the balls to play a prank on him, and anything Michael doesn't find funny will surely be something that ends in the Pranksters getting a session bent on his desk

it was a very cliche prank the old whoopee cushion Act, on the bright side Jervis thanks, Michael seems to find it a bit funny telling from the little chuckle he lit out after the admittedly hilariously lengthy artificial fart, he hopes that means Michael's going to use one of his softer punishment implements

before his mind can dwell on what sort of item will be impacting on his bum, The Joker walks out the door with a little bit of a limp but not as bad at the last two times he was bent over the warden's desk for being a bad clown, tetch is about to sign and relieve when the woman's voice rings like the nail of a church bell from his office

" don't think the state of the clown is any inclination about the state you'll be leaving this room in, enter now and we can make this quick, but I assure you it won't be painless"

the Hat of screws in obediently, next the cabinet he stores his softest punishment implements stands the warden. Putting up the clownously colored riding crop, he turns to look at the hatter the usual kindness in his eyes switch for Parental disappointment, jervis notes with Dawning dread at the level of Parental disappointment is something he's only seen when Michael had dragged off zazz for trying to stab a fellow inmate

" I am very disappointed in you jervis, not only did you help the clown in this childish prank, you had one of my spare keys, now I'm going to give you the option to tell me where you got it, and if you do I'm only going to give you a paddling"

jervis knows he should squeal, but he's far too spooked at the violence that will be done upon him if Lyle finds out he told the warden that he slipped him one of the keys, the intimidating ex guard turned inmate had only been taken to the Wardens office once, that was not long after the warden came into power and called everyone in to show them how this ship was going to be operated from now on, they all got a taste of what would happen if they broke any of the wardens rules, they were struck for every crime the committed outside of the walls of Arkham. jervis remembers Lyle cried like a baby, but before the hatter can reconsider and start blabbing Michael tisks and makes his way to a black dresser right next to his desk

" wait, I'll tell." but he's cut off by the doors of the dresser being slowly opened and that familiar rabbit headed cane being pulled from its perch

" you made your choice tetch, now get into place, and you can tell me after we're done" the hatter hangs his head in submission of his fate and walks like he's marching to his death to bend over the warden's desk, he slips down his uniform pants, and at a clearing of the warden's throat slips his underwear down as well

the first blow sends a ripple of pain, not only physical but some sort of spiritual pain as well, he's very Soul feels the weight of his sins be slammed into it like the cane upon his bottom, he doesn't know what sort of sorcery is infused in this instrument but he knows in his very soul that he deserves this sort of pain, not only for the naughtiness he committed today but also for the countless wrongdoings he's committed in his lifetime, another blow to both Body and Soul feels like a slap of Miss Pleasant's hand upon his cheek, a slap that he had never experienced but feels like he deserve, yet another feels like the ruler of Miss brumbleberry his old math teacher, a blow he had gotten in his life when he had wrote very harsh profanity on the Blackboard, yet another feels like one of his mother's spoons, another blow he had gotten we need snuck in a cookie before dinner, the last blow feels like that he got at his birth the blow that sent him into life

and the deed was done, he is both red of butt and face, the tears staining his cheeks both caused by pain of body and soul, he squeals and cries apologies to the warden like he's pleading with God himself to forgive him, the warden slips up his undies and pants, and motions him to sit on a soft chair, he rubs his back like one wood a frightened child and make shushing noises

" are you ready to tell me where you got that key now" Michael says patiently, when Jarvis wipes his eyes enough he looks up and gives a nod

Michael Smiles down at him and the hatter feels like he's being smiled upon by a higher power, it feels like a soothing ointment upon his bruised soul, tears dream down his face, these tears of those of a man who has been forgiven by the closest thing to God he's known in his life

...

Warden Michael sits in his office, before him stands Lyle Bolton, shaking like a leaf, God Michael loves seeing men like him coward before something they know is above them, he stands from his desk it opens one of the drawers, from it he pulls out a cane tipped with an m, his personal cane, the most potent of his creations, this bad boy will smack Lyle's soul not only through every time he's gotten a spanking in his lifetime but even far before that past lifetimes of swats to the ass when he's been bad

Lyle tries to defy his destiny, he stands still as a man who knows something far above human understanding is looking upon him can, a simple tapping of the cane upon the ground sends Lyle obediently sprawling himself across the desk

Michael smiles, his Jaws ache to split like a snake's and let out cackling laughter, but he holds back, he's got a reputation to uphold as a strict but kind man, he intends to broadcast this, though it is true he likes to see how bright he can make a bad inmate's behind shine, he does genuinely care for the Rehabilitation of his inmates, so he saves his tackling for after his little warning to the inmates less inclined to try and be good boys and girls

the intercom please some Sinatra before the voice of the warden Pierces the rec room silence like a butter knife through a hot butter

" inmates, I broadcast to you now to make him demonstration to those of you who persist in being little rule Breakers, Bolton please State why you are in my office today" Michael Speaks into the desk Mike he's picked up, he puts it in front of Lyle and races is Kane threateningly when he gets nothing from the man's lips

" I am here because I stole one of the spare keys to the warden's office, and gave it to a fellow inmate so he and another could pull a prank" Lyle's confession spills from him like a tsunami

" good, now then brace yourself this is going to be your bumpy ride" the warden says a chuckle barely hidden in his tone

jervis smiles to himself next to Jonathan and Edward who's similarly grinning like reverent worshipers, at the sound of their benevolent God darling punishment upon a filthy sinner, Bolton's screams are like music to them

needless to say Lyle was on his best behavior from that day forward

Chapter Text

Arnold wesker's tormented not only by the lives he's ruined being the vehicle that moves around the wooden Dawn of Gotham City, but by the man himself, even now his voice taunts him, scheming up all sorts of gut twisting crimes they'll be getting up to the moment they get out of the asylum, be it legally you're doing one of the Joker's many bomb breakouts, more blood is going to be on West Coast hands

but like someone pressing the mute button The Voice goes silent, he bolts up in bed searching his room for whatever Miracle Worker silenced the voice of his darker half, he is chirping from his window and we looks over he sees a black Songbird perched near the bars, with a flutter it's landed on the floor of his cell

the birds form begins to bulge and soon something much too big to be inside of it rips, and out spills a Fully Dressed Man, no stay nor feather blemishes his brown coat, his hair is shoulder length and is brown as his clothing, he Towers over Wesker who only now notices that he feels no disgust nor fear at the scene he just witnessed

" evening Mr whiskey" the man says in a crisp Irish accent, wesque is about to inquire why this Birdman is he even here but the brunette answers his question by reaching into his coat and pulling out something that should send his stomach sinking but for some reason doesn't

held like the harmless doll he is, is Scarface, " I've come here to give you a gift" and with that the puppets form begins to shift, would becomes felt, the miniature gun in his hand turns to harmless plastic, and soon held before him is a new and improved Scarface

" put him on" the man states like it's an answer to a question Wesker didn't even ask, the man does so and the voice that feels his head sounds like Scarface but... Nicer

" I missed you buddy, hope you weren't lonely here without me" the voice says, and whisker is left to sit there slack yard and surprise

" how" is always good can think to say, the brunette laughs a heart warming chuckle before answering

" a little bit of magic, a little bit of me all natural power, you see I got dominion over emotion and mood, all I had to do was change what he looks like with some magic and change how he felt about you with me powers", Wesker knows that explanation should make him ask more questions, but be it happiness at a much nicer voice in his head or the brunettes Powers still affect him, he just doesn't feel like questioning it

" what can I ever do to thank you", he says and the man lets out another heart meltingly soft laugh

" oh I don't want nothing from you, but if you want to repay me all I ask is that you listen to a little song, it's something my mother taught me" rescue gives an enthusiastic nod and the man begins humming a tune, and out of his mouth comes bird like noises which soon send Wesker into the first peaceful sleep he's had in a while
...

All characters except for the brunette are owned by DC

the brunettes name is Peter he is the brother of Michael and is a bear bird hybrid chimera, as stated he has a natural power over emotion and moods, and tends to like hanging out with misfortunate and sad people, and use his powers to make them feel better

Chapter Text

The day that would transform Gotham forever started like it usually does, the average citizens went about their usual December business, the less law abiding citizens made plans for heists and other such wrong doings

One in particular, a man known as jervis tetch or the Mad Hatter, was sitting at his makeshift work desk, using a store bought welder and some department store microchips he was making some hat cards for a special Christmas caper, then they came allowed Bang which snapped his head from his work, he carefully flicked off the welding gun and Rose from his stool

He caught a glimpse of a gem which glowed in the Darkness of the warehouse he was using as a workshop, he only had a split second to take in this site before it shot a beam of purple energy, which impounded into him knocking him to the hard floor

When his eyes come in to focus again above him stands the smiling face of Michael, the gem the hatter so in the Darkness dangles from his neck by Golden Chain, " good evening Mr tetch, you like the new addition to my wardrobe", jervis let's out a pain grown attempting to push himself from the ground, a foot on his chest sends him back down and Michael tisks at his effort

" you're going to have to stay here for a while, until you metamorphosis is complete" the blonde's stomach sinks at that comment and he starts surveying himself for changes, he feels like he's going to swallow his own heart when he sees his hands of shifted into furry ones, he thinks they might be rabbit paws

" what did you do!" the hatter says in horror as he looks up at Michael for an answer, the brunette Just Smiles, points at the gem around his neck, and begins to explain

" what I'm doing my dear Hatter, is what I was sent here to do, this lovely little trinket is the gem of domination, it transforms who it's shot at into race of the wielder, which seeing as I'm a beast man, you're pretty hairy situation" the brunette lets out a deep chuckle as the hatter continues to transform, in the time the conversation took the Hatter's whole arms have become covered in yellow fur similar to his hair color, it seems transformation has caused him no pain which is good

His feet shift into the back paws of a rabbit," but why" he questions as his legs shift and grow yellow fur

" because this country needs a Fresh coat of paint, and I intend to be the one holding the brush, don't worry I won't be transmogrifying the rest of the world, me and my siblings have decided to split this planet between ourselves, and they'll take fine care their domain, oh you're just going to love what I have in store for my new kingdom" Michael's lips stretch snake like, and his cat like teeth glint in the warehouse light, the hatter's transformation has reached his torso and it's only now that his mind begins to fog, and not soon after he slips into sweet unconsciousness right before he can feel the faintest of his skull begin to stretch
...
Michael looks on in Pride as the man below him's transformation completes, he rubs the gem dangling upon his neck like a prized house pet, truly what he has in mind for this town and soon this whole country is for its own good, but now it's not the time for Daydreams, now is the time to make his dreams a reality

With a flicker of magic the newly transformed jervis tetch is lifted into the air, the outfit he was wearing before which consisted of a casual aiw t-shirt and some sweatpants begins to shift, pants turn into stockings as his feet are fitted into a modified pair of Mary Jane's, t-shirt turns into a teacup embroidered dress, the fluff of his chest acting as breasts, his new rabbit ears are pierced with metal teacup earrings, now that the physical and wardrobe changes are done Michael Begins the mental

Michael took the man's already existing enjoyment of tea parties and giving it more space in the man's mind by deleting some of his less savory Hobbies, though he does let him keep his neuroscience knowledge, he's going to need his and the rest of the dork squads inventions to help further his goals, shifted his hair preference in partners to Brown from its original blonde, and completely erasing any attraction to women, he specified the man preference to one particular man, or well what he'll look like after a quick blast from the gem of domination, the hatter's mine is filled with images and thoughts of his soon to be avian intended, fantasies of coding his fluffy paws through his hubby's Brown plumage dances like sugar plums in the heads of sleeping children, oh yes to have a couple bundles of furry and feathery joy to take care of. that would be paradise

Michael floats the hatter's body to a mirror he's called from The Ether, the Man's eyes flutter open and he Marvels at his lovely new appearance, oh he's so adorably soft his Darlings going to love every fluffy part of him, he blushes at the feeling of his sex growing aroused at the thought of Claude Talon fingers pulling his ears doing passionate moments, his fantasies omitted by a finger tapping his shoulder

He turns to see his Lord and King Michael, his King had shifted into his feline form, the swaying serpent acting as his tail is chowing down on one of the hatter's lab mice, but the Rabbit Man only has one thing on his mind

" oh where is my beloved birdie, his bunny bride is ready" he says with a wiggle of his fluffy tail, the feline Pats his head and Chuckles," he hasn't been shown the way yet, but with your help my darling rabbit he'll have his talons in your fur on your wedding bed in no time" jervis swoons at the idea and nods in acceptance that he'll be apart of his darling metamorphosis into a better form

The end

Chapter Text

Twas the night before christmas , and Jonathan crane was an Arkham Asylum, he was fast asleep and his mind dance not with sugar plums but was horrible prophetic visions of a feathery transformation

the feeling of something simultaneously wet and fluffy surrounding his dick woke him from his slumber, he glanced beneath his covers to see a familiarly colored head over bobbing up and down upon his manhood, He put both hands on top of the bobbing cranium but before he could push it off a voice cuts the monotonous sound of slurping lips the room was previously filled with

" oh please don't stop his fun Mr Crane, he's been waiting a long while you get a taste of you", Jonathan's head snaps to see Michael in his fully feline form standing in the corner, a purple gem perched on his neck by a Golden Chain which he was rubbing pridefully, "And I must say you taste delicious" the voice of jervis tetch But when Jonathan looks to see where his voice is coming from he sees and feels the furry head previously slurping his cock has pulled from its position and is now looking at him, the bunny man that stares at him has the hatter's eyes And as Jonathan had heard before the Hatter's voice as well, and something inside of him told him that yes this was the genuine jervis tetch

"w- what.. what did you do to him", He stammers out glancing over to Michael who's now holding the chain of his gym necklace Aloft, his Cheshire smile filled with feline teeth stretches wider than it was previous," the same thing I'm going to do to you, change your mind body and soul into a perfect citizen of my growing Empire" and with a snake is chuckle a beam of light shoots from the gem
Jonathan braces for pain both physical and mental, but after a moment of being bombarded by the Light Beam he finds he feels no pain, but when he surveys himself he finds black feathers beginning to mark his limbs

"w-What t", But before he can get anything else out jervis's lips on his, and animal instinct begin Cooling the dread in his stomach that was boiling during this entire experience, it takes an immense effort keep himself from kissing back, And with a now Challenge hand he pulls the other man away from his lips, the submissive moan that leaves the Hatter's lips sends cracks Rippling through the transforming man's will to resist the animal desires clawing for Domination in his brain

That slip of concentration to exist ends with him pinning the rabbit beneath him on the Asylum bed, when he gets a hold of himself again his pants are down and is now animalistic penis is inches from entering the glistening bunny cunt the man he has been down has spontaneously sprouted, " please darling, put it in we already I've been dying for you", the sex desperate rabbit below him bags, pressing his chest fluff between his hands like the breasts of a woman

and those desperate eyes and cleavage like fluff Shatters the last of Jonathan's will to resist and he Hilts himself and one thrust ripping squeals from the man below him, and the room is filled with sex screams both human and bird sounding, The sporadic kisses turn from lip to lip to lip to beak as the mating continues, and there's one final thrust the fully transformed Jonathan crane collapses on top of the bunnyfigated jervis tetch, And soon they're both asleep

Michael looks upon his newest acquisition in Pride, and think to himself ( oh yes this place will be a wonderful starting point, no one cares one bit what happens to the people residing in this place as long as they stay here, they won't know what hits them until the Funny bursts open to release all the animal Perfection I'll create in this place)

after letting out a chuckle at the future Army of obedient animal citizens he will soon have to overtake the rest of the city, he begins mentally transforming the newly transformed Birdman, just some tweaks of likes and preferences in partners, some Erasure of dislike Like that of having children, and giving him a new preference towards meat pies, he begins the clothing changes, He turns the man's Asylum uniform into a Sleep shirt embroidered with cute crows and boxes, a pair of modified slippers appear on the man's Talond feet, and is one last touch he places a wedding ring on both of their ring fingers, he also puts the Rabbit Man in an alluring set of sleep lingerie

surveying the room he decides it needs a bit of a spruce up as well, with a snap of his fingers it turns from Asylum chic to step forward Beauty, as the bed the Newly Weds lay upon softens and grows so they can cuddle much more easily, the walls of plastered with bunnies and crows in many actions of play and merriment, with another surveillance he Chuckles in Pride and walks out to have a talk with the warden about some change of management
the end

Chapter Text

Edward nigma grumbled in annoyance in the grip of two muscular guards as he was being dragged through the asylum, his face contorts and confusion when the guards pass his usual cell, and twisted even further when he spots a glimpse of a feathered head sitting in the cell that was supposed to hold the ventriloquist

The glimpse of a human sized gray parrot is one he gets for only me a seconds as the guards continue to March him further through the asylum, soon he stands in front of the wardens office the door opens to a real not Jeremiah Arkham at the desk but a man with a cat-like smile who rubs a gem that's perched around his neck by a Golden Chain, the sound of crunching snaps Edward's eyes to see Jeremiah is in the office but he's sitting on the floor shoveling would appears to be Beatles contained in a bucket into his mouth

"What the fuck is going on" Edward yells at the lounging Michael, his smile stretches not enough to be his usual jaw splitting kind but getting real close, " what I'm doing here is using this baby", he pauses to present his gem before continuing," to make this place the beginning point of my first Conquest that will soon spread to the entire American continent, and you're going to help me make the machine that will spread this gems converting power through the entire city"

" and why would I help you", the smile on the purple suit wearing man's face finally reaches its usual jaw splitting length and he lets out a laugh at the cliche response he's gotten

" God I was wishing someone would ask me that" and with that a purple laser shoots from The Amulet around his neck impacting into Edward, when he feels that the beam has done no physical pain to him he clickedly finds brown fur sprouting from his wrists, before he can say anything something slips around his neck and his mind goes fuzzy

"Thank you tetch" Michael says as the aforementioned Rabbit Man pulls back from the mind control dog collar he's placed upon Edward, " I'm glad to be of service my king" he cutsies after this comment both of their attentions are drawn to Jeremiah who's still on the floor, he bangs his now empty bucket on the floor, some Beetle goop still clinging to his lips

"jervis could you take Jeremiah out into the yard for his walkies" the bunny man does so leaving Michael with the still transforming and colored Edward," Edward you have another purpose in this plan, use that smart soon to be doggy brain of yours, and to make sure no one sees any social media posts from Gotham City into after the complete conversion is finished, we don't want the government meddling in my perfect Utopia plans, now do we?", the man whose hands and upper arms had completely become a dogified gives an entranced nod

And so he gets to work his new pod hands not giving me too much trouble, and after a couple hours of hacking stuff the job is done and Edward is completely transformed

Michael slips off the Mind Control collar and Edward only has a couple seconds of lucidity before a hand in his fluffy head fur sends a wave of dog like pleasure through his body," who's a smart boy?" Michael asks, and the Riddler's new doggie tale Wags as he Yips out, " is it me, it's me isn't it"

"Yes it is, you're a smartest boy in all of Gotham" Michael continues to pet the Border Collie mans head, the pure doggish joy in the man's brain keeps him from noticing some other changes being done, though it might be that the mental changes were only some amplifyings of romantic feelings for certain fellow who was soon going to resemble his namesake a lot more

The clothing changes also went unnoticed, his clothing had changed into much more nerdy attire, complete with a very garish looking question mark patterned bow tie wrapped around his neck like a dog collar, " hey buddy you did real good, I think you deserve... A treat"

Edward shakes and delight at the idea of a treat, and is already spasming tail nearly goes into the speed of light when Michael pulls a dog biscuit from a suit pocket, he whimpers and disappointment when his effort of grabbing it was his mouth from the man's hand is sorted by the man lifting it

" not yet, do some tricks for me", Edward hops to task doing the usual things, like sitting on the floor, laying, and reciting the square root of 3

" impressive, here you go champ" Michael throws the treat which is snap from the air by the excited Border Collie, the man choose the treat as he lays on his back on the floor and after he's got down he pants into light when a hand rubs his shirt and belly, all this rubbing soon tuck him out and he's fast asleep

...

Later that night after the transformed Riddler is taking off to rest up in his cell, Michael stands in his newly required wardens office pulling a a multicolored gem from his pocket, whispering swimming Plantation the gem projects a light screen and soon he's on a magical Zoom call with his siblings

" I have called to inform you that my beginning base has been set into place, I found someone to build my conversion machine, and when the conversion of this City is gun I will have a very important asset to both make more conversion machines and to infiltrate the superhero community " Michael says the frown on Peter's face deepens at his eldest brother's success, Elizabeth's smirks in Pride, and fhilip is having some connection issues the sound of the sea surrounding him comes and bits and pieces

" well my day's effort has only netted me a beginning base, though it is a good one being the royalties Castle, so it won't be too long until I have the Royal Engineers under my sway" Peter says fiddling with the gem attached to the cane he's holding lazy in one hand

" will I already have three conversion machines, you know these Japanese Engineers really work fast, and that pop music is absolutely killer" Elizabeth says pridefully before beginning to hum one of her new favorite jpop songs

"i- have-- good time-- atlanteans-- big muscular shark man" and then fhillips feed cuts out

" well I'll call him back later, anyways you're free to call anytime to ask for any assets I may require, and I will do the same if I so need, cuz we're family and family helps each other" and with that final thing the call ends Michael sits at his desk and ruminates on the great Utopia his Macintosh as well as those of his siblings will create from this world, he looks at a chuckle which soon turns into a full laugh and he continues to laugh as the city which will soon be his sleeps in the night, watched over by a group that will soon answer to only his signal

The end

Chapter Text

Dennis prowl had been singing at the Iceberg Lounge for about 2 months now, and for all that time he hadn't seen the man behind the name on his paychecks

That was until today, Dennis was gluing some sequins onto his cocktail dress when the voice of a woman he assumed to just be one of the bartenders shatters his concentration

"The boss wants to see you" his face turns from its previous annoyance to an interested look

When he opened the door the silhouette he sees in the weirdly dimly lit office is one he expects, Oswald cobblepot is a short as he's been said to be, and the Smoky sent in the air tickles his throats in a way he doesn't like

"So boss, what did you want to see me for" he says before letting out a series of hard coughs

" I want you to meet somebody" the man's Jersey accent feels the room and before Dennis can reach for the light switch to see who he's talking about better, someone finds it first and beside him he sees a human-sized pamper standing on two legs dressed in an purple Armani suit

" your new boss" the human sized penguin was Oswald's voice is not who Dennis expected to see sitting at that desk. nor did he expect to see a bipedal dog man, specifically a Border Collie, especially not one in a green party dress that wouldn't look out of place in a sitcom

" oh I'm not his new boss I'm just the, I think you'd say middle management, but you are going to need a new look for your Superior across the pond" and with that the gym on the cat man's neck begins to Glow and and Dennis has to Blink a couple times when it flashes in front of his face

He only has a second to be shocked at the red feathers growing from his skin when a blast of a gaseous subject walks to his face and he falls to the floor unconscious

,,,

Michael stands in front of the holograph call with his youngest brother Peter

" remember Peter after your first performance I'm going to need him back for my Mass transformation, his voice will keep those watching my broadcast on radio completely into all"

" it's fine Brother I found someone perfect to accompany me and the rest of my mass transformations, an absolute Wiz I can send them over to help with your future broadcasts"

" send me a pic of him and I'll think about it, but I doubt he'll be as good as the Wayne Tech worker drones" Peter just rolls his eyes but before he can press and call Michael continues when a thought comes to him

"Speaking of pictures could you mind showing me how you dressed up that darling song but I brought you" the hollow camera turns to show Dennis in his fully transformed state his red and black feathers go nicely with the purple Victorian suit and cravat he now wears, his plumage is done up and curls

" that's good for your preferences but mine says he'd look absolutely stunning in a greaser outfit, maybe was a pompadour"

" you can dress him when whatever you want when you have him, but for now I have him and he dresses like this" the smug and Peter's voice is almost visible through the screen

The two brothers let out laughs before canceling the call and going about their business

The end

Chapter Text

"ow, John you don't have to pull on my arm so hard", jervis complains as the man mentioned drags him by the arm into their shared hideout

" you're lucky that's all I'm doing you impulsive fool", the enraged brunette snarks back as she shoves the blonde man onto the ratty couch

"For the last time, it wasn't her hair that distracted me, it was her boobs", at the still disappointed look he gets from the unmasking brunette he continues," only because I could have sworn she was reaching for a gun she's hidden in those"

" well even if it wasn't the hair this time I think it's high time we do something about that little Obsession of yours"

And after some searching through some drawers a pumpkin shaped pocket watch is being held Aloft in front of the Hatter's face

" oh God, I thought you were less cliche than that"

" just shut up and let me try it"

"Fine" the blonde says was a huff trying his best to relax into the dusty couch

...

The Mad Hatter sat at his tea table, well technically it was March hares table seeing as he was at the March hares house, oh his darling March hare with his beautiful brown fur and his intelligent eyes

Takes a distracted sip of his cup of tea and notices that it's missing a little something, " marchy darling, could you pour some cream into my tea"

" no problem sugar lump", he's darling says with that beautiful Southern drawl, and soon the cup is handed back to him the shot of cream a beautiful little Edition

Though the Sip is a little bit salty, but he's grown to like salty tastes and he drains the whole cup

The end

Chapter Text

Part 5 of the step-fur-d take over
Consciousness slaps the clown in the face like a fish, and it becomes very evident to him that he is not in his hideout nor does it seem he's an Arkham, that is unless they've changed their sale layouts to be a lot more dungeony during his time away from the Madhouse
before he can put his mind to the task of looking for A way to escape the door of his cell opens revealing a very ticked off looking humanoid feline
“Who are you andm what's the meaning of this” the clown says confused anger lining his tone
“ you have dared to be immune to my unresistible mental domination” the feline begins slinking forward snakeishly and only beginning to speak again when he's towering over the Shackled comedian
“ normally I would kill a creature for daring to do so” the Puma man continues a hissing growl punctuating his statement, he inhales slowly and stretches a smile upon his furry face showing Jawsof sharp glistening teeth,
” but I thought of a different plan to keep you in line, I'll give you a choice” he pauses and was a snap of one of his furry hands a muscular rhinoceros guard brings in a changed but still familiar face to the Clown
“ is that” he starts but is interrupted by the still smiling purple cat,” it is my dear fool, and if you choose to promise to be a good little citizen you get to stay with him as his bride,And don't worry about doing chores you will be a high society bride just there to laze around and get pampered by your husband and the help, but if you choose to be a bad little citizen or break the promise”
It's another snap of a furry hand a TV The Joker hadn't noticed until now Springs to life, it shows footage of a much more dingy dungeon, in the center is a reclining humanoid rabbit the same shade of purple as the feline, he's squatting over what seems to be Lyle Bolton now transformed into a whimpering Rottweiler man, with a grunt he releases a long log of fecal matter onto the glass eyed ex security guard
the TV shuts off and the voice of his feline captor begins to speak again,” and you'll be completely conscious, tasting and smelling everything that that choice will give you
“I'll take the better option, I'll be a perfect little house bitch” the terrified clown screeches out pointing desperately at his future bat husband
Michael smiles a bit of poisonous drool dripping down his stretched jaw,” good choice clown”, he purrs holding up the amulet
…
some days later Michael's watching the cameras he's had set up all over the completely transformed Gotham, all of his new subjects live in a furry vintage Paradise and the subject of his camera stalking this day is drinking an expensive mojito in a glistening sparkly dress, his green head fluff is styled in victory rolls, He's watching the newly rebooted love that baby and laughing like the hyena he Now is
one fitful burst of laughter sends a bit of his mojito spilling to the polished floor, It's Quickly cleaned up by Alfred, the old goat still does his work with poise and elegance even in his new form
the man of the house walks into the sitting room Trail not far behind by his gaggle of children he now shares with his still cackling spouse,Most were Birds but the youngest little Damian shared in his father's battish form
“Honey me and the kids are back,Come here and give you a hubby kiss babes” Bruce says and his lips are interlocked with the Green -haired ex criminals in a passionate smooch
“ eew gross, could you not do that in front of me” Jason complains covering his eyes with a feathery arm
The family laughs and Michael switches off the camera planted in their home, he lounges back triumphant in his first successful complete City takeover, the rain Enterprise Engineers now under his sway we're nearly done with another post machine which would be planted in Metropolis and soon Another Hero will be in his pocket to use as he saw fit
a proud chuckle soon turns to a cackle and his personal office in Arkham Asylum is soon filled with snakish laughter as the triumphant conqueror makes his Joy very evident
the end ( all characters mentioned except for Michael and the rabbit man owned by DC Comics the rabbit man is William Afton Michael's father and you can learn more about him on my Tumblr which is linked in the description of my user page)

Chapter Text

part 6 of the step-fur-d take over

,,,

Lex Luthor sat at his desk drawing up his will, the cancer in his system despite everything he tried was still eating away at him, and now he has come to the conclusion that this will be his final year live

Before he can have an internal monologue about how the world will lose a great mind a knocking comes at his office door, with a press of the speaker on his desk he lets the person in

" good evening Mr Luthor " the brunette in the purple suit says casually as he walks cat-like up to Luthor's desk," I've heard about your participant and I'm here to give you something to help", The Smiling man punctuates this with placing a briefcase in front of the bald billionaire

Opening the briefcase reveals pink gem laying inside," what is this", the bald man questions before letting out a series of coughs

"That my friend will give you the attributes of an animal that will fight against the hallway disease and your body, but I'm going to need something in return" the purple suited man extends a hand for a deal handshake

" anything you want or can provide, money, power, inventions, I can provide it and you got yourself a deal", the brunette Smiles a Wicked grin as Luthor takes his hand, pulling the bold man forward to intensify the eye contact he lets his eyes do the work of lulling the man into slumber

...

Luthor wakes from his magically induced slumber in a place and at a height he wasn't at before, the place resembles the interior of a hamster cage and what he looks down he sees he now has rat like fingers instead of his usual human ones

He opened his mouth to scream luckily the voice that comes from his new form is his own voice, another stroke of luck is that he seems to be still bipedal and despite as he soon realizes his new naked mole rat form has perfectly good eyesight, which is well demonstrated as he looks at himself and Horror in the mirror in the corner of his hamster prison

" I see you're awake little man" the voice of the brunette he was talking to when he was still an entirely human man booms from in front of the cage, and soon one of the man 's hands is grabbing him and pulling him out to look him in the now gigantic face

" I fulfilled my end of the bargain, now that little cancer problem of yours is no more, and now that your tiny, you can easily fulfill your promise to me, the favor I wanted to ask you for is some lunch", Supernatural opens his mouth wide and Luthor screams as he's stuffed into the man's drooling mouth

,,,

Michael sits in his next stronghold point, the added efforts of Luthor Enterprise will add to the strength of his next city converter, though it is a shame that he has to take the form of Luthor until the big blue Boy Scout is under his sway

He's disappointment at not having his beautiful locks visible to the world isn't too updated by a nervous intern, and adorable nervous intern,"m-mr Luthor some of your Associates are here to see you s- sir" his admiration of the boys adorableness is squashed by the mansion of Associates," fuck I'm going to have to stay in this disguise longer then I thought, damn that Legion of Doom" he thinks trying his best to keep the annoyance off of his face as he says with his speaking voice," thank you for informing me Mr Fitzgerald"

"y- you're very welcome sir" but before the man can exit to do some more work his boss begins speaking again," actually Mr Fitzgerald, would you mind sitting in my place for little business lunch I have after my meeting ", Michael says adding a little bit of persuasion magic to his offer

" I... i Don't think I can sir, I have a whole lot of work to do and", but he's interrupted by his boss letting out a laugh that makes his knees weak

" nonsense I'm your boss and and I say you have the authority to give all that stupid work to somebody else and take the rest of the day off", and Michael's Smile widens as the boy that's out of cacophony of gratitude and nearly trips on his way out the door

Michael smiles and feels a lot less annoyed about the stupid meeting with that stupid Legion of Doom, besides he's got a man on the inside, and that little birdie, is going to tell them all the stuff he's going to need to dominate the rest of those Legion losers

The end (all characters mentioned except for Michael and Jeremy Fitzgerald are owned by DC Comics)

Chapter Text

part 7.1 of the step-fur-d take over: the strong the dumb and the Grundy
,,,
“And with this gem we will bring those foolish Justice leagueers to their knees groveling like animals at our feet”, boasted Michael still disguised as new for holding aloft the gem of domination, what he was saying was true this gem would bring people to heel,But that included everyone in this room at the moment
plan was foolproof first he take out the most physically strongest of the assembled supervillains, and luckily for him the three most physically strongest of the group were all so the most Stupid
the little Trio consisting of bizarro, giganta, and Grundy usually hang out together seeing as they were the only three people that could understand the stupid speech
He would be worried about two of them being immune to Magic, but those idiots also had big old hearts so they'd understand the Utopia that came from his domination and and and gladly do anything to help, and the one of them that wasn't immune would be glad to be turned into an animal again
“ you three”,3 peebrained heads turn at his call,” I'm going to need to speak usually in private”
“What Luthor want”, Grundy says the stink of his long dead breath making Michael's whiskers curl under the double human disguise he wears
“ well that's the thing” he pauses letting the first layer of human disguise fall revealing his usual human form,” I'm not Luther”
“ when Luther not bald”, Bizarro says and surprise and grunts in pain when giganta smacks him on the arm, ” didn't you hear he not Luther”
“ it doesn't really matter who I am right now, what does matter is you three and what you can do for me and my plan”, the three he's speaking to tilt their heads in curiosity
“You see my friends I come from a universe of animal people, the ruling class which are cameras travel the universe finding planets in disarray and bringing them into Utopia, and that's what me and my siblings have come to do to your planet”, Michael says and technically he is telling the truth he and the rest of his can have come to bring Utopia and it is true many of his non-blood-related Chimera brethren have traveled universes but they were there for bloody Conquest, But not he and his siblings though, They had started their Voyage Spreading Utopia by liberating those conquered in the bloody fashion, now they have to spread their eyes to Fresh untouched soil by their kind
“ if you Chimera why you look like animal man”, Grundy says in confusion, Michael responds by dropping the other layer of human disguise he had on revealing his true fluffy form
“ he fluffy cat man” Bizarro cheers and Delight dragging one of his muscular fists through Michael's chest fur,” could you please not pet me so hard” Michael grunts out in pain, ” sorry cutie cat” response the dejected imposter Superman
“ but what gigantic get in return for helping”, The used to be ape woman says
“ you see my lovely lady” he pauses to hold Aloft the Jim of domination once more,” this baby turns whomever it's shot at into the same species as the wielder, and since I'm wearing it it will turn you and whoever is susceptible to its magic into a beast person, and I know quite well you used to be an animal of this planet, and I'm sure you'd like to return to being so though with the ability of speech still in your power
“You make giganta monkey again” the loincloth wearing woman says hope shining in your eyes
“ most likely yes this will turn you back into a monkey, but you still get to wear fancy dresses”
“ gigantic going to be prettiest monkey in the world” the woman cheers,” please cat man shoot giganto was Miracle gym”
“ I'd be happy to my beautiful Simeon”, the feline man says and the beam of light shoots from the gym
,,,
“ why gigantic have to wear a stupid illusion” gigantic says in dismay as she fiddles with the illusion bracelet on her wrist
“ because we still need to be secretive about this, many of your fellows haven't seen the light like Mr Crane or black-hearted Monsters” Michael says before taking a deep breath and putting the second layer of human disguise back over the first
“ why we not animal” Grundy says gesturing between he and Bizarro
“because you two are immune to Magic, And you too can be quiet useful as Shields against any magic users who learn of my plans and are foolish enough to think that they are not for the best
“ Bizarro like being useful” the gray man says absent-mindedly petting the transformed jervis tetch Michael had pulled from a hat from his previous location in his Suburban House in the converted Gotham City, the rabbit man was chatting casually his Crow husband Jonathan crane and dog best friend Edward enigma,Only he was in his new True Form well the other two were wearing illusion bracelets to make them look like their old selves
“ and you shall be useful Bizarro” Michael says staring at the Hologram list of Legion of Doom members, the ones already under his sway are crossed out and he looks forward to dominating the Yellow Lantern of the legion very much,” very useful indeed” he lets out a Sinister chuckle it looks forward to his hot date later this evening and tomorrow when that red Intergalactic fool who know his place under his furry foot

Chapter Text

Jeremy sat at the table outside of the coffee shop, waiting for the other half of this Meetup to show up, he fidgets nervously with his work phone, he's just about to dial up the number his boss gave him when the sound of the chair across from him catches his ear

" s up, hope I'm not too late" the sharply Dressed Man across from him says, the man's brown hair is combed back, his cocky grin is somehow both infuriating and Charming, and his eyes, entrancing is an understatement

Jeremy only realizes he was just sitting there staring when a man clears his throat for an answer, " oh n-no you're just on time sir" the interns squeaks out trying his best to wipe the blush from his face

" oh you don't have to be so formal, just call me Michael", the man says his crisp British accent nearly doubles the sizable blush on Jeremy's face, but he gathers his resolve and begin speaking again

" so Michael" he has to pause to take another deep breath at the site of the man's smile growing more smug at the use of his name," what is it exactly was it you were going to talk to my boss about"

" nothing, this isn't a work date, it's a date date" the man that's out a sneakish laugh at the surprised blush spreading on the younger man's cheeks

" o-oh, so you and my boss" but the look of annoyance on the man's face tells him that this wasn't a date between Jeremy's boss and he, it is in fact a date between Jeremy and he

" now you get it" the man says in a purr, he leans forward to whisper into Jeremy's ear, " how about I meet you at your place later, let you calm down and have a good think about all this" he punctuates this statement by dragging Jeremy's hands down his suited chest and stops just above the radiating heat of his groin

" y-yeah, I should probably go home and..., he takes a sharp inhale at the soft kiss pressed his cheek and closes his eyes for more but when he opens the man is gone, " cool down" he says disappointment lining his tone as he pulls out his wallet to pay for the coffee

...

" and then I had to ,*hic*, pay for the damages to my car his robot made " Jeremy says finishing his rant about his stupid boss, " that's a shame mate" Michael sympathetically responds putting an arm around the other man on the couches shoulder

" and what makes it worse, that with the day of my intern interview, you should have walked out when I saw a stupid bold ass in the interview room" he continues interlocking his free hand with the one perched on his shoulder," well if you'd have done that we wouldn't have met", his brunette drinking partner says inching just that bit closer

" yeah, we wouldn't have" they stare into each other's eyes and then with twin closed ones they interlock their lips
When they pull away, the taller brunettes eyes seem to shine was a different light, something much more enthwalling than at the coffee shop, frankly Jeremy see a purple glow emanating from what he believes to be the man's chest, and not soon after the enthwalling effects of those eyes seems weaken greatly

" what's happening!" he blurts out when he notices the first sprouting from his wrists and ankles, the purple-eyed man's hands Force him to look him back in the eyes," you don't have to worry about that darling, It's Perfectly Natural, everything issss fine" the hiss in the man's voice only causes Jeremy's Panic to grow

" that's odd, usually that works, unless you're turning" sudden realization dawns in the man's voice, quickly he casts a sleep spell on the still panicking shorter brunette on the couch, who slumps forward into his arms

...

Jeremy wakes up with a pounding headache, and when he looks over to his side he sees he's been carried off to bed, it's not his bed, in fact this isn't his bedroom, and another thing becomes very evidently wrong to him, he's not a human anymore,

after he takes in his new appearance in the really awesome looking mirror in the corner of the room just next to side of the bed he woke up on, he's finds he's been turned to some sort of anthropomorphic, Mongoose he thinks

" what happened to me" he says curiously caressing his new furry cheek," well it's a long story darling" he turns to see The Voice he's so familiar with spouting from the mouth of another anthropomorphic creature, a bit of a mix and match telling from the serpent with a matching embarrassed expression to the feline face it shares a body with, " but I think you're smart enough to understand"

Jeremy thanks momentarily that a snake shouldn't be able to look embarrassed but the the familiarity of the voice hits him like a semi truck," Michael, you look so" he pauses thinking for a word," cute" he says after a momentary pause and the purple of Michael's feline cheeks grows a bit Shades Darker

" well I've never been called that before, I think I quite like it" the cat man clears his throat before continuing " I should probably get to explaining some things"

" yeah, and could you get me some clothes too", Jeremy just to his furry but naked state

" oh yes that too" and those purple cheeks just get Shades Darker and so does Jeremy's

The end(all characters mentioned are OCS of mine)

Chapter Text

What's wrong cat got your ring
,,,
Sinestro had only joined the Legion of Doom, because Luther had promised that it would make his goal of destroying that pesky do gooder hel Jordan much easier

But time after time they were bested by that pesky Hal Jordan and his Justice League friends, honestly he doesn't know why he's still here, he probably should have resigned after the second humiliating defeat they all suffered

And now this most likely destined to fail, plan of using this Jam of domination nonsense, it probably doesn't even have any powers

And he's doubting it even has powers the more Lex rattles on about its magnificent powers of transformation, and of course domination

You know what he's going to say something

" and then we'll laugh as they fall to that new furry knees in servitude to their superiors, and our thumbs" " Lex" it just about to begin another paragraph of his already extremely long ego stroking monologue, when a clearing of a throat catches his attention

" yes Sinestro, you have a question about this magnificent plan" the smug oozing from the word magnificent sends the red aliens stomach churning with disgust at this human man

" yeah, where exactly is the gun you said you were going to combine with this gem for this plan" he says the doubt that this gem even has powers lined his tone quite evidently

" well Ssssinestro, if you really want to see it" " Lex" lines forward, his camouflaged eyes shifting slightly to their original color as he stares the Extra-Terrestrial ring bearer like he's a prey animal

" you can come to my office during lunch!" he shouts out making Sinestro Flinch back into his chair some of the hairs of his perfectly quaffed mustache springing out of place

* I swear if he tells me in that office that he was lying about that gym, I'm quitting this Legion right then and there* Sinestro thanks to himself as he carefully puts his mustache to rights

,,,

Later in "Luthor's", Sinestro enters to find the bold man ruffling through one of his desk drawers, his eyes brighten he apparently found what he was looking for, from the drawer he pulls an impressive looking gun that probably shouldn't be able to fit in a desk drawer

" this my red friend, is a wonderful device that will help us in our Conquest over those pesky Heroes", "Luthor" says in a voice a lot more British than the one he was using at the meeting

" allow me to demonstrate" and before Sinestro can manifest a shield the gun is firing a blinding blast of purple light

His senses return to him and the first thing he registers is the feeling of fur pressing to his skin, pulling back he finds his hands a lot more Paw like and furry than they were seconds ago

" interesting, it seems a little device greatly quickened the transformation process" a figure that is definitely not Luther says rubbing a similarly furry paw on his furry chin, a sudden burst of clarity comes to Sinatra's mind, this is his King

Michael Smiles pridefully as the multi-eyed cat man bows to his King, he believes he's been transformed into an anthropomorphic version of the feline species of his home planet. Very similar to Earth cats except for a second pair of eyes just above the first one, he believes those serve the purpose of shooting lasers, most likely to cook their prey

" rise my newly anointed space General" Michael commands and Sinestro does so looking with his multiple eyes and great reverence, pulling an extra gun and domination gem from the ether (any goodly trained conquer knows to never leave home without a couple spare domination gems), he plays the gym into the power slot of the beam shooter and hands it to the feline Yellow Lantern

" go, go to your core and show them my greatness, and contact me with this when you're done", Michael hands him a communication gym which he pockets and lifts from the ground preparing to fly out of the open viewing window of Michael's prolined office

" wait, one more thing" Michael says suddenly and Sinestro lowers back to the ground looking at his King quizzically his top eyes crinkled in confusion

" would you mind making this man a Yellow Lantern" the purple cat says pointing to Jonathan who steps from a corner of the room, and his new true form and all it's Crow Glory

" of course my king", and with a squinting of both set of eyes a powering burst through one of the closed viewing windows and right onto Jonathan's Talent finger

The crow man makes joyous Crow noises and Sinestro flies to his King given mission of spreading his glory to the rest of his fellow yellow lanterns

Michael Chuckles at how jealous his siblings are going to be that he's made a head start on Conquering the rest of this universe's Galaxy

The end

Chapter Text

Legion of zoo-m part 4

...
Michael sat in contemplation in the box office of lexcorp, now that he had deal with the physical powerhouses of the Legion of Doom and got a head start on conquering this dimensions Galaxy, the only thing he had to do concerning this so far easily conquered League is that pesky psychic gorilla

He could not use the gem of domination on him for he was already a sentient animal, and just psychic abilities made him resistant to the gems secondary effect of turning anyone shot by it obedient to the wearer, and he's much too smart to fall for any eye tricks

And then he got it, intelligence, and a prideful smile stretches his lips as he presses a button to activate the intercoms in the lexcorp lab division

Videos of throat and begins to mimic the voice of the man he devoured not that long ago " listen up boys I'm going to need you to build me something"

...

Later at the Legion of Doom headquarters Michael in his Lex Luthor disguise stairs at the Mind dampening gun with great anticipation, he would be chuckling if he didn't have to be quiet as he waited for that horrible psionic ape to pass by the doorway he's hiding in

He tenses up when he hears the meaty footsteps of his Quarry, he weighs the weapon finger poison the trigger Sweat Beads at his brow and a singular drop slowly descends down his face

Simultaneously when the ape is fully infused through the doorway and the sweat drop is nearly disconnected from his face does he take the shot, the beam of energy shoots into the creature shocking it and pushing it back into the neighboring wall

Gorilla garage can feel his Intelligence being dampened from him by the second, from the shadow doorway steps Lex Luthor holding a ray gun

"You... Trader" the gorilla struggles out the knowledge of speech is failing him quickly

" pot to Kettle, you monkey", Lex says in a voice not his own and his eyes begin to swirl with colors the Gorilla's mind could have resisted if he was still as intelligent as he was this morning

...

Even more later Michael undisguised weights at Lex's usual position in the Legion of Doom Meeting Hall, the members fire in from lunch, the muscle memory of this action keep them from noticing the bipedal purple feline in the place of their bold leader

It's Captain Cold who notices this discrepancy first and that's out a surprise yeah which catch the attention of everyone else

" good evening Legion of losers ", he pauses to gesture towards the people already under his Sway and ads " not you guys you. guys are cool" under his breath, clearing his is throughout he continues," I know all of you have been wondering if this gem Even has powers", he lets out a chuckle as he presses a button which reveals domination gem powered laser weapons pointed at unsued members of this loser Legion

" I assure you they do" and with that the weapons go off feeling the room was bright purple light as the cat man loudly laughs his victory

...

Meanwhile at the Justice League building Batman had excused himself to the bathroom to contact his new king and master

" my king I've managed to keep the trust of my fellow Heroes, is your domination of the Legion of Doom complete yet my Lord" the silhouetted face of his King Smiles a catish grin

" it's complete sweet night, I believe it's time for Lex Luthor to go out in the town in a giant Mech again, really stretch his Robo legs, and a blue Boy Scout will be exposed to a gem he's especially susceptible to", he lets out a purr of a chuckle

" what of the other Heroes my Lord" the Batman questions, feeling a pinch of pain at daring to

" there ropes were given positions on Legion will convert the rest of their fellows, and when the teaming hordes under my sway I will use their combined might to topple every last one of those Heroes, and this country we will be mine" he hisses out a purring laugh

Batman felt great pride to be a servant of this wonderful creature
the end

Chapter Text

There are many things that Michael liked, sucking out the soles of pedophiles, taxidering their bodies,a nice juicy fish dinner

But the thing he liked most of all

Were cuddling

And he really liked giving cuddles to his friends

Whether they wanted them or not

...

It's the middle of the night in Gotham City and the Mad Hatter can't seem to get to sleep, mostly because he was about the three things that help him sleep, his hat, is March hair plushie, and his March hair

Usually he just need only one of those things, but the guards had confiscated the two inanimate objects believing he was hiding drugs remind Control Card Parts in them, and his human sleep aid was out on the town Brewing up chaos

And here he was, wide awake, and miserable

He was just about to try another session of brute forcing sleep when he feels something scaly wrap around his legs

When he flings the blankets from his legs he only has a second to take in the purple scales creeping up his legs, and then those eyes catch his and things but begin to get a little bit

Hazy

" what's wrong little rabbit, having trouble sssssleeping" a voice hisses in his ear but he doesn't have the strength to wrench his eyes from those twin sinkholes of color, so instead he just gives an absent nod and continues to look

" well how about you look closer at those pretty colors and I'll tell you a bedtime story", yeah those colors were nice to look at and that voice was soothing

" just lie back" a hand guides his head back to his pillow but before the lack of color convention from his dazed state a man's face with the eyes he saw beneath his covers peers down at him and all he can focus on are those eyes again

"Once Upon a Time in a rabbit hole on a hill.."

...

One bedtime story later Michael looked down at the dozing man in his coils, the snakehead of his Serpentine rests on the top of the man's head listening little Giggles with each tongue Lash on his skin

Michael himself is about to slip to sleep as well when a man begins mumbling, " Johnny where are you" he whines and the coils he was wrapped in draw so little clearly he's trying to spread his arms to cuddle up to someone that is just noticed doesn't exist physically

" hush sweet rabbit" Michael saves stroking The Man cheat and hushing him," you and your lovely hair will be snuggled up soon enough" the man sleeping face has a Content little smile on it

...

Driving train was busy at his work desk doing the usual mad chemist things, he's been completely wakeful for most of his experimenting time, but now the sleep he had been procrastinating on was starting to really pull at him

Giving a yawn courts his latest test tube of fear Toxin and rises from his work desk, stretching he makes his way to the makeshift bedroom he made in this abandoned Apartment, but when he opens the door

Sweet domestic slumber assaults his vision, the Dusty mattress has been replaced with a two person bed out of a Stepford wet dream, the walls were plastered family photos of children that don't exist and he and Jervis, and also a weird thing he thinks might be a cross from some sort of alternate dimension

Speaking of Jarvis the man Lays lounging in the wet dream bed, his plump body wrapped up in a flowing nightgown, Jonathan's cock would be stirring at the side if he didn't have a suspicion a certain extra dimensional cat dictator was up to something

And to suspicions are proven correct when two furry hands spin him around to look into spiraling eyes

Jonathan let's out a sigh and thinks to himself," well I was going to get some sleep out of the way, might as well sleep in something comfy" as the twin rainbow sinkholes drag him in

...

Michael Smiles down at the cuddling couple who he's draped a loose coil around, he's just about to climb into bed with them too when he realizes

* this ultimate cuddle pie is incomplete, I need the whole set of dorks*, he thinks to himself,* think Michael if I was a real obsessed green boy where would I be* he lets out a home and then

Eureka

...

Edward nigmas doing what he usually does on a girl from night, doing anything he can to keep himself from sleep, there are many reasons he's doing this, so he has more time in the day to think up little traps for the idiotic people of Gotham, more hours to play video games, and to keep away the nightmares

ohhhh the nightmares!, the memory of those fists impacting into his ribs that voice calling him a cheating fool, the whiskey scented breath making him more to puke, maybe it's the stomach injuries making want to puke, all you know is is when he wakes he rushes to the bathroom to empty his stomach

And he can't afford to ruin his smile with stomach acid

Right now he's busy playing video games, and then his TV shuts off

" who the f***" and he knows who the f*** when he sees a set of spiraling eyes in a corner," oh my God Michael, I do not need this b******* right now"

The cat man merely Chuckles and slinks forward bombarding the smart ass redhead with his rainbow eyes," really dude I usually vomit when I wake up from nightmares, that I have like all the time" Edward grumbles attempting to cover his eyes and being halted by a serpentine tail that lashes out like a whip

" oh don't worry about those little mouse" Michael Cruz bending over," your lovely cat will give you sweet dreams all night" he leans a bit forward before pressing a lick to Edward's cheek and finishing

" I promise" he purrs out as Edward finally grumbles and it's that hypnotic gaze put him to sleep

,,,

Michael lounges and his cat form between three cuddling men, the Sleepy pets he gets from his lovely drowsing thralls elicits hers from his chest that shake the bed and the human inhabitants deeper into sleep

God he loves cuddles

Chapter Text

Michael was scanning list of contingency plans the bat made for the Justice League
“ Clearly I'm going to have to set up something big for the big three, or well the big two the bats already perched in my belfry, And the Blue Boy Scout will fall easily to the magic of the amulet” Michael muses caressing his Gem encrusted amulet with a fluffy hand,” but that false demigoddess is going to be a problem” Michael continues squinting disdainfully at Wonder Woman and Her lasso of Truth
switching to another tab he smiles with the great plan he's brewed to make sure that pesky demigods won't be lassoing his Destiny away from him
the girdle of Venus, a wonderful creation made by one of those planets heathen gods, and it wasn't even a problem that it was on a prison Island that only allowed access to ladies with prisoners, he had a perfectly good sister, and if anyone deserves damascara it was her
and he knew exactly who to get to be the prisoner, and so Michael stood and went on his way to make a house call to a certain doctor
,,,
Edgar Cizko fleed to Mexico after he had that horrible vision of the furry Conquest that would come to pass upon the world, he knew he could do nothing to stop it but he might as well give himself more time than he did in America
so now here he waits sitting like a man waiting for his death, Help but compare himself to the poet he shares a first name with
“ quote The Raven” he mutters to himself and waits for the response
“ Nevermore” the feline perr that follows the figure stepping from the Shadows since his heart plunging to his stomach as he stares down the cat wearing human flesh, his smile is packed with feline teeth and his eyes are slitted like a predator,And he stared down at Edgar with those predator eyes like the mouse he was surely going to be
no!, He won't just lay down and be a bitch,He's his doctor f****** psycho, he stands from his chair staring defiantly into Michael's slitted eyes and focusing as hard as he can on dominating this arrogant piece of s***
Michael smile just widens and he gives a little chuckle wrapping a Claude hand around the smaller man's neck and lifting him up ceasing his useless efforts to try and be a big man
“oh Edgar didn't you know, I'm the Mind Dom here” Michael Growers and Edgar can only gasp ou t,” please never call yourself that again” before his mind is being torn apart like a mouse in the claws of a puma
,,,
Meanwhile across the pond, Peter sits on his new throne being tended to by the ex royalty, when the X King is done polishing his toe claws he stands and walks to his personal Chambers to look upon his most prized possession
the lovely Specter that sleeps in his glass coffin,Drake from the finest Victorian dress money could buy, Lifting a lid he pressed a kiss to his Paramore's cold cheek, and climbs in to snuggle up to him
his dreams taken back to when they first met
( but that's a story for another time)
the end

Chapter Text

the ghost in the glass coffin
,,,
It was a rainy day in London when a bear Wearing human skin wandered into Buckingham Palace,Normally a situation like this would be responded to with a lot of screaming, but this bear and human flesh had a motion Powers so no one even paid him any mind
the bear man who was named Peter walked up to the new King on his throne and punched him in the face, He sat on the old King's throne with the man's crown and slipped off his shoes, and from then forth England had a bear for a king, but soon everyone would be furry and not just their monarch
And as we all know every good King needs a queen, And it's all the same in the place where Peter comes from, though the royalty of his Dimension have many more lovers than Earth's rulers, at least they're more public about them than Earth's
but every Chimera has a favorite love they keep the closest to them, the benevolent if mischievous King Michael has his lovely little mongoose Adventure Jeremy, and melancholic King Peter stood from his Usurped thrown one day and said to himself
“ I'm going to get myself a wife”
a man was a vintage tastes such as he would have sites on a creature of vintage origin, and one dearly departed James Craddock was as vintage as they came, a Wandering Specter damn to wander the Earth he was buried in until the end of
he was no princess, but he was perfect for Peter
Peter wanted him, and what a king wants he gets
,,,
James Cradock Road on skeletal horseback through a little village Street in Ireland,The necklace he had stolen was reported to being owned by a banshee, it probably wasn't but he was a dead gentleman thief and had a theme to stick to so whatever
he long since lost the cops a couple blocks down but the rush of wind on his invisible hair was a thrill he wanted to bask in for a little longer
That's when something something tripped his horse and he was sent flying through the air and on to the grassy ground below, looking back he saw an Nth Metal Tripwire, he also noticed his his horse riding on the ground as it spontaneously starts to grow flesh
he's horrified gazing at this site is interrupted by a strong hand grabbing him by the shoulder and pulling him up, which is odd because the man in front of him doesn't seem to be wearing any Nth Metal Gloves, in fact the gloves he does wear or soft for my taking feel of them from their pressing into his skin beneath his sleeve, and then his want to question completely leaves his head and the only thing he can think of is that this man is the most beautiful creature and all of existence
he doesn't struggle his Peter pulls him into a sloppy kiss his bear like teeth clacking against James's forming ones,When Peter pulls back the face looks back at him is pale with its status as belonging to a Deadman, but it's beautiful in it's paleness, though his teeth probably weren't that perfect, but no matter he'll just have to look up old photos and tweak some things later
pulling off one of his gloves he places a strong but gentle hand on his mate to be’s pale cheek and the man screams as a sharp pain Burns into his shoulder,When the pain subsides James pulls his coat off of his spectral shoulders and in blazing on to his newly formed arm flesh is a singular imprint of a Bearpaw
“ what have you done!, what are you!”, James yelled as all the panic that was blocked off by whatever spell this horrible creature had put him under finally rushes to the Forefront
“I am your king” Peter says with authority,” and I ordered you to be mine”, and with those words James falls to his knees in supplication to his King, to his husband
Peter grabs the spirit by his shoulders and Carries him Bridal style too the now flesh having spectral horse, tossing him onto it haphazardly he climbs on and they Ride Into the Night
,,,
Peter's recollection of their meeting swims in his head as he puts the finishing touches on his darling Spirits new physical form, The life-sized owl doll version of James Craddock was cold under his coat of false feathers, but that was fun Peter had enough warm fur for the both of them
taking Claude hand he pulls the host item into a waltz as as he Ventures over to his lovely husbands glass resting place,Lifting the lid he places one of the ghost's hands onto his new, the spirit drifts leisurely into its new Earthly vessel and blinks its eyes as those glass or shine with given life
beak and muzzle lock in a kiss as king Peter Blackwing has his first real dance with his lovely new owl spouse
and the future shined bright like the sequins on James's Victorian dress,And the Paw Print on his shoulder rested like a wedding ring on a finger
the end

Chapter Text

Sending a hipster back a little further
,,,
Neil Richards dusted off his Union Jack suit as he walked away from the whip a snapper he drained the youth from, twirling his Ruby tipped Kane he skipped gingerly over to Buckingham Palace

To his surprise there were no guards at the gate and he just walked right through, walking over to a window he presses a button on his Cane and grapples up

When he's inside he presses another button lowering his came to the ground like a metal detector and follows it's direction to an elegant looking door

" you know for such Priceless gems they put it behind such an obvious door" he comments smugly as he wiggles the knob and to his surprise finds it's unlocked

Carefully creaking the door open his eyes land on the crown jewels sitting behind a glass display case, on tiptoes he wanders in but only gets a couple feet closer before some sort of invisible alarm starts blaring, and before he can turn to rush out the door a cage slams over him

He begins pleading / threatening for release when a shadow looms in the doorway, the figure steps in and with his entry lights flick on revealing a fur coated man of plump frame with brown hair and eyes like a bird of prey, reaching into the cage with her hand that emerges from his bare skin cloak he grabs needles Ruby tipped Kane and pulls it from him with in human strength

"h- hey get that back you big oaf" he splutters out but the man merely pulls another Jam tipped Kane from his cloak pointing it at Richard, Richard flinches when a beam shoots out shooting him directly in the chest, and looks down at himself in confusion when the impact leaves no killing blow or really any indication that it did anything to him

when you notices the red verse sprouting on his hands, before he can start panicking the little thing sound of Birdsong reaches his ears and everything goes black

,,,

Around London the TVs of every citizen are spontaneously taken by an important Royal announcement, Before Their Eyes their new king stands at a podium

" my loyal subjects I'm here to make a proclamation, to call for an oath a field to you to me and me alone" Peter begins he unclogs his true form letting his black wings unfurl to their full Glory, those were not stunned by the sight of a bipedal bear with pitch black wings are desperately trying to flick off the TV to no avail

Before anyone can start manually shutting things off, the bear King opens his mom and lets out his melodious bird like voice in enthwalling song

"Praise King Peter", call the voices of the subjects of Peter's new Kingdom, soon everyone in England will praise His name, and after that they move to the rest of the continent

Peter looks over to his Fox medium man, and gives returning smile to the one Richard gives him

,,,

Sometime later in the United States of America, Michael sits in his stolen office in lexcorp, Mercy Graves a Secretary Bird Wheels in a box with holes in it into his office

Taking the crowbar he's handed by Mercy he begins to pry The Box open, one of the walls Falls to a bipedal Fox man circular glasses perched on his slumbering face

His eyes creep open and he walks automatically out of his box shaped containment, he gives a Curt nod to Michael who has shifted to his true feline form, reaching out a hand Neil takes it

He suddenly winces that the feeling like a combination of a branding iron and a snake biting into him beginning to flare on his neck, when his paw is released he loves the snake bite shaped brand on his furry neck, looking back at Michael sudden Clarity fills him, this is his master

He falls to his knees and and only Rises when ordered, he looks down at himself to see that his clothing had changed from its Victorian stylings to something more accustomed to a Suburban environment, little Union Jack on his suit glints in the large window light

Michael waves him away to his new job as manager in The Lex Corp media Department, and watches appreciatively as that bushy tail sachets away

The end

Chapter Text

Adding some vintage Flair to the Future man
...
Michael Carter otherwise known as the super awesome (his words not anyone else's) superhero Booster Gold was eating a modern cheeseburger in his hangout spot in a Time void

That was until he got an alert from his time anonymously watch, something was going down in England town, it didn't look like anything too dangerous so you decided to go It Alone

When he got there he noticed instantly things looked different, a lot less modern and a lot more steam engines, and the fashion sense had completely regressed, a lot of top hats and corsets

Shaking his head he got back to task and scanned one of the passes by to figure out what was making them dress so anciently, to surprise there was no sign of being affected by any time distorting Energies, it seems they just decided to dress that way

Before he could walk up and ask why the heck they were doing that, a loud banging sound could be heard by the nearby Big Ben, which looked a lot different than he was used to, definitely didn't look like it did in his time, and you sure as heck it's not supposed to look like that and any time of his existence

The face of the clock was glowing and Eerie purple, and before he could take anything else about this hardness it rang again sending out a similarly colored Shockwave throughout the area, and around him the oddly dressed people started to transform

None of them seemed Disturbed that their sudden furry transformations, but he wasn't one of them who was unaware, he was quite aware when the rapidly growing fur creeping from his wrists reached up to his shoulder blades

When he tried to use any of his devices he finds that all of them has shorted out, taking a deep breath he starts Panic running to the nearest alleyway to try to assess the damage some more, tripping off his outfit he finds that the fur has spread to his legs and just quickly inching up his thighs, he tries pulling up the fur but the painful tug causes him to stop

His brainstorming on what else he should try isn't true by the sound of flapping descending in his Direction, he catches a glimpse of what seems to be a bear with wings bailing towards him into it lands in front of him causing him to fall on his now fluffy ass

" who's a good boy" the bird bear creature says in a Scottish accent

" what" boost your asked but all the questions in his head are blotted out like ink on a sentence when one of the Bears fluffy Paws lands on his still human head and begins to scratch, his newly we shaped hind leg Hops and excitement as his newly-grown tail wags and he continues to transform

When the hand pulls away from its petting he's completely modified and is now a completely naked humanoid Golden Retriever

" let's get you some clothes buddy" Peter says pulling the dog to his feet

" whatever you say my king" replies booster his tails to wagging in the presence of his monarch

,,,

" oh he looks so cute in that" James says admiring the week clothed golden retriever man, his his blue suit highlighted with golden buttons shines in the artificial light of the dressing room

" I could just pinches cheeks" James continues doing so and listening and embarrassed Huff from the dog man as his cheeks are pinched by owl talons, but still his tail wags at the contact

" I bet he likes belly rubs", comments in Michael through the communication orb

" he sure does" James responds pressing a hand to the dogs clothed belly, to which the canine man pants in enjoyment

" so how was your mission going", Peter asks of his brother

" oh good sister has brought me the girdle, The Mask transformation machine from Metropolis is nearly ready", Michael responds casually

" that's good, I hope your mission is successful", Peter praises

" oh it will be" Michael responds boastfully before learning how to chuckle and ending the call

Chapter Text

Elizabeth long ear was admiring in the new instrument of domination she picked up from that prison Island she dragged that horrible little rat man too
the girl shined golden in the setting light, it's great enslaving power emanating like Heat from a burning pan, her Bobcat tail swishes in fiendish Delight as her rabbit like ears twitch and merriment
,,,
The Summer sun Beat Down on the chocolate ice cream Wonder Woman was savoring during this hot day, when suddenly in the distance a cry reaches her ear
“Take this” she says quickly handing her chocolate ice cream to a nearby little girl who began joyously devouring it where she left off,
she runs into the direction of where she heard the scream and gets into a fighting stance when her eyes taking the form of her arch nemesis the cheetah
“stop right there you fiendish feline!” she yells and the Catwoman's feline eyes turn to look at her, the woman crouches down animal like in preparation for battle
when suddenly
a sharp pain emanates through Wonder Woman's back as feline Claus sink into flesh, she turns to see…

another cheetah!

and even more as quickly multiplying feline slashes cut at her Amazonian flesh
soon the gaggle of evil cat lady's dog power and Gathering her strength she pushes them from her causing them to scatter around the alleyway she found herself in
but before she can Implement more violence upon another cheetah woman something soft but tight begins to wrap around her middle, she has a few seconds of mental Clarity to turn to see another cat lady, something that resembles a bobcat but it's ears more rapid like
the Bobcat woman greens a Cheshire smile as Diana's mind succumbs to the power of the girdle and she falls to her knees to her new Queen
“ great Warrior Diana Prince, I Queen Elizabeth long ear honor you with the position as my captain of the Guard”, the woman says triumphantly raising her finger adorned with a jeweled ring that shoots out a painless purple laser that in packs into the Amazon's chest
“ you may dissipate”, Elizabeth says to the gaggle of illusionary cheetah women who all cease existing in poofs of smoke, except for the real cheetah Who falls in supplication to her Queen next to the quickly transforming Wonder Woman, black rabbits fur has sprouted from both of her legs and arms
,,,
Wonder Woman and Batman were having a conversation in whisper tones at the Watchtower lunch facility
“ how has the building of the Metropolis converter bin”, Wonder Woman inquires
“ it's complete, My great king is planning to reveal the deception in a week's time before activating the device”, Batman answers
“ Good I will be leaving for damascara by that time as well, my sisters will not know of my Enlightenment until it's too late”, The Secret Rabbit woman responds
“ good, I bid your queen good Fortune Diana”
” and I bet your master Good Fortune as well”
they Snicker amongst themselves undetected by the unenlightened
the end

Chapter Text

It was a nice day in Italy, well it was nice for everyone except for Orm Marius, who had been banished to the surface World by his brother to learn humility, a lesson he was very much not wanting to learn, though he was the eldest and rightful heir to the throne he did not look it, he had the usual swimmers build of any atlantian, but other than that he was quite unmasculine

He fiddles grumpy at the pendant around his neck that keeps him in a land-dwelling form, he's gills if they were visible would be flaring in anger at the great injustices he had endured for the last month or so, forced to work as a lowly fisherman in the Italian fishing Village he found himself in

His musing on his misfortune is interrupted when a shark sent reaches his nostrils, a smell that for me a second smells completely disgusting, like grimy sea salt and a burning cinnamon flicker, but with another whiff he doesn't smell so bad actually

Turning he sees an imposing red-headed figure standing majestically at the tip of an ancient looking ship, behind him or a gaggle of half-dressed Muscle Man, shiny and slick with sweat and work," good day to you little guppy Prince, let me get a better look at you", the man's fake pirate accent is like music to orm's ears and he does as he is commanded and walks to give the man a closer look at him

He's pulled onto the ship and surveyed approvingly by the man's I there's not covered by an eye patch," you're perfect little fishy , you're going to be wonderful mate" the man says with a foxish purr as he leads the rightful king of Atlantis down to his personal quarters

...

fhilip glanced down at the Atlantean, he had removed that pesky little pendant from arms neck and let him enjoy sometime in a more preferred form in a little body of water, that being his bathtub which he was also in it was surveying the difference of anatomy between normal humans and atlanteans, his fish like junk Anatomy was quite amusing me too the fox man

There may have been a bit of a struggle when his powers were neutralized by the bath water but a quick breath smoke-filled kiss had him willing to let himself be fondled and groped as much as fhilip wanted

When the fox is satisfied with the exploration he's done, he reaches out a hand to grab his gem encrusted eye patch holding it Aloft a small but bright purple bean shoots from it directly in between forms eyes, the Atlantean Prince does not react and begins squirming in pleasure again when Philip begins exploring his body once more as it begins to change

,,,

It was a good day in Atlanta, firstborn Prince ohm had returned from his banishment a very changed man, it seems he had found the humility he was sent to find, and he also Found Love

" fhilip my new Chum, you better treat my big bro nice", Adam says with a hearty chuckle which the thought to be land-dweller accompanies

" trust me he's in good hands, brother-in-law ", the Redhead Says taking his new mates hand in his, beneath the illusion cloak the man's new eel little half squirms and Delight

" to my brothers return, and to new family", the king of Atlantis makes a toast and the great feast begins in earnest

The end for now

Chapter Text

The Bell on the store door Rings joyfully, Pamela turns from her pruning to see The Feathered face of Jonathan crane, his beak stretched in a pleasant smile

“ you just on time John, I have those special babies ready just for you”, she says as she makes her way over to a pot of black and red roses, The Greenery wrapped around her antlers sways was each step, “so what's the occasion”, she says with a giggle at the crow man's slight blush as she hands the pot to him

“ nothing, just wanted to be nice”, he says slipping the amount of money they agreed on across the table to her, “ oh I'm sure you're doing it just to be nice, Besides being nice has such good benefits”, Pamela says with another wink as the Birdman quickly exits the store a blush plastered across his feathered face

…

“It's time for bed” jervis close to his children from the back door, the young rabbit and Crow look to their father give simultaneous disappointed Huffs and drop there toy weapons, “but Dad we were having so much fun”, Lenore wines And she's led into the bathroom to get ready for bed

“ well we are going to have more fun at school”, He shakes his head and Mark disappointment when he gets more whining

when he's finally wrangled his children into bed he has a knocking at the door, walking over he opens it to see

“ John, I was wondering what was taking you darling”, he gasped in surprise when a bouquet of flowers is shoved into his face, “oh my… are these… for me~” he says ending seductively and looking up to his husband who gives him a similarly seductive smile

…

John plops beside his husband after one final thrust, he laughs after a couple deep breaths and presses a beaky kiss to the rabbit man's Temple

“ that was… amazing”, John says

“ it was perfect”,jervis response

“ every day is perfect”, they say in unison Sleep take them both

…

“ so how was work”, Harley inquires snuggling close to her deer wife

“ it was all right, John came for his weekly roses”, Pamela response snuggling closer to harleen Who giggles as her hyena snoot is booped

" so, you want to do what they're probably doing", Harley says with a wiggle of her eyebrows, pressing the crotch of a sweatpants into her leg

" I'd love to peanut", the deer says with a wink rubbing the Bulge in her wife's pants

They both giggle as they press each other to the couch

The end,(if you don't get it lady hyenas have a pseudo ding dong, and Harley is now an amphibromorphic lady hyena, so I think you can do the math)

Chapter Text

" that's it baby, you take me so good" fhillip moans out as he plunges twin knots deep into orms new hot eel hole, his chosen mate scratches his clawed fingers down his furry back, his tail thrashing in Delight

And then they're interrupted by the sound of the commuting creation Crystal getting an incoming call, with a disappointed puff he humps unpleasingly into the hot heat and comes not as hard as he was trying to, that was a grand he pads over to the crystal on the dresser

" what is it, you're interrupting me here", he says with a Grimace on his face which turns to confusion when the person on the other end isn't who he expects, the man is dressed up in a very odd outfit the oval Dome of top his head Clues fhillip in that this is Black Manta

“ Good day Duke fhillip, and Duke orm, I am David hide and and I was Entrusted with a gift from your brother”, the man on the call says we're moving his helmet to a real his true African-American face, he then lifts up his right arm to reveal illusion bracelet, which he Taps once and with a shimmer he quickly transforms into a four more fitting of his villain Monica

" oh, what is that", fhilip questions his mood significantly improved

" I cannot inform you until you are here to receive it", the manta ray man responds and then abruptly hangs up, fhillips tail swings in frustration as he plops back onto the bed

,,,

later the next morning in Black mantis personal ship, fhilip said reclining on a chair orm propped in his lap moaning pitifully as his eel hole was stimulated by two of his mates skilled fingers

" this is amazing gift, so my brother my thanks would you", Phillip says idly eyeing the miniature Mass transformation energy maker, powerful enough to transmogride entire room, and he exactly where to activate this baby

" I shall Duke, it has been an honor gifting this to you on your brothers behalf" David said bowing slightly

fhilip sensed his mate getting close to orgasm and pulled him into a deep kiss as he finally came spasming around his fingers, he pulled back and gave a little loving lick to orm's cheek as the evil man huffed in the Afterglow

The end

Chapter Text

Fhillip fiddles with the miniature Mass Transformer machine in his pocket, his eyes survey the room he stands at the door too, the pews are filled with his future subjects and neither the head is his future brother-in-law, then got a low laugh he begins his March to his destined
his mate is beautiful in any form, his tight swimmers muscles Flex alluringly, he smiles lovingly up at his fiance and fhilip is sure if his tail was visible it would be wagging like a dog
“ do you orm eldest son of the Royal Family take this human man to be your life mate, to the day you both cease to live”, says the presiding sea Bishop
“ I do”, orm says in a Love Struck whisper smiling the most happy smile he's had and his entire life
“ and do fhilip the human man take this aslanthian for the same”
“You betcha”
“ I Now Pronounce You married you may kiss your spouse”, and with that Francis polls his love into a hard kiss and simultaneously taking out the miniature device in his pocket, the surrounding guests only have a minute to realize that the device he holds look nothing like a ring before shock of energy fills the room
after a couple moments of time wrestling his husband Philip glasses over to the quickly transforming inhabitants of the room, you noticed amusingly that his brother-in-law is shifting into a sea lion, he laughs into the kiss at the horror on the ocean superheroes face
Place into the Device back in his pocket he pulls out the ring that was also in there and slides it gingerly on two arms hand, which had turned back into its usual scaly self
“ I love you”, orm gasps out
“ same”, Phillip says no she's ugly grabbing a fistful of headphone and pulling the eel man back into a Chris
…
Francis lounges in his new personal quarters, his husband draped on his body, another member of his hair and Pops a grape into his mouth, He sucks the grape in stimulating the sharks fat fingers in the process, He turns his head to get another sip of wine from the scantily-clad Luchador keeping hold of his cup
“ tell me I'm your favorite again”, his husband pleads looking at him was those Love Struck eyes of his
“ you are my favorite”, he says play singers small kiss on orm’s head which causes the eX ocean tyrant to push his head deeper into his husband's chest fur
yep it was good to Be king, Phillip thinks to himself as he sucks another grape into his mouth
…
Arthur Curry looks at his fellow League members, his human self is back in place but it feels wrong, his legs feel wrong, the only fur on him being his hair feels wrong
he takes a deep breath, he notices Diana and Bruce giving him sympathetic looks, all three of them glance over to Clark, perfect Clark
he'll be a perfect dog, they think to themselves as that give knowing looks to each other

Chapter Text

On a sunny afternoon, Michael, an anthropomorphic purple panther, decided it was the perfect day for a walk in the park. The sky was a brilliant blue, with fluffy white clouds lazily drifting by. Michael's sleek fur glistened in the sunlight, and his golden eyes sparkled with excitement.

As he entered the park, he was greeted by the sweet aroma of blooming flowers. The vibrant colors of the tulips, daffodils, and roses seemed to dance in the gentle breeze. Birds chirped melodiously, and squirrels darted playfully among the trees.

Michael walked along the winding path, his padded feet making barely a sound on the soft earth. He nodded politely to the other park-goers, who were now quite accustomed to seeing a purple panther in their midst. Children waved at him excitedly, and he waved back with a friendly paw.

He reached a small pond in the center of the park, where ducks paddled lazily across the water. Michael found a comfortable spot under a large oak tree and settled down to watch the ducks. He loved the tranquility of the pond, the way the water shimmered in the sunlight, and the gentle rustling of the leaves above him.

After a while, Michael decided to continue his walk. He strolled past a group of musicians playing cheerful tunes, their melodies filling the air with joy. Michael couldn't help but tap his paw to the rhythm, his tail swishing happily behind him.

Further along, he encountered a butterfly garden, where delicate butterflies fluttered from flower to flower. Michael stood still, his eyes wide with wonder as a particularly brave butterfly landed on his nose. He chuckled softly, careful not to disturb the tiny visitor.

As the sun began to set, casting a warm golden glow over the park, Michael made his way to a hill overlooking the entire area. He sat down, wrapping his tail around himself, and watched as the sky transformed into a canvas of pinks, purples, and oranges.

Michael took a deep breath, savoring the peacefulness of the moment. He felt grateful for the simple pleasures of life, like a walk in the park and the beauty of nature. With a contented sigh, he decided it was time to head home, already looking forward to his next adventure in the park.

Chapter Text

Michael takes a deep breath looking at his disguised form in the mirror, He looks upon Lex Luthor's form for the last time
after today he won't have to use this disguise anymore, metropolis and it's hero will be his
he smiles to himself in the mirror and turns awesomely as he walks to his big announcement
,,,
the citizens of metropolis tune on to the TVs on that bright July Morning to see the form of the richest man in Metropolis standing before a podium a serious but calm look on his face,Some people look in confusion at the fact that he's wearing sunglasses
“ citizens of metropolis, I Lex Luthor have come on this day to say”, the bald man pauses lifting his arms above his head in a wide Ark, suddenly purple fire lights around his form and he is soon engulfed in a pillar of oddly huge Flame
parents Shield their children's eyes as they look on and horror at what they believed to be a murder, some others tried to turn off the TV to no avail
soon the fire subsides and in Lex Luthor's place stands the human disguise of Michael poison Claw, crown Prince of the reptiles and soon to be grand emperor of America, he lowers his sunglasses letting his eyes captivate all that see them
“Say hello to your new lives Metropolis!” he says triumphantly at the top of the next Tower opens and the mass transformation device Rises on it's perch letting out a wave of transformative energy
he laughs is the imagines all these simple Mortals being touched by the greatness of his Conquest, their minds shown that he is the true ruler of this country and of their souls
…
Michael fiddles with the Box in his hands on Lex Luthor's private jet, he looks at himself in the mirror both of his disguises have dropped, smile sheepishly at his own reflection and his ears lower and embarrassment
“ you can do this Michael, the worst thing he can say is not yet, you have all the time in the world”, he tries to console himself turns slowly to the exit of the plane bathroom and walks out stressly
he sits as calmly as he can next to Jeremy, who seems to be listening to some music, take a deep breath he slips the box into Jeremy's hand who takes out an earbud and looks at it quizzically
“ open it”, Michael suggests the nervousness of his tone very evident
with a little pop it comes open the gym on it twinkling in the artificial plane lights, Jeremy looks at him, then back to the ring, then back at him
Michael makes a noise of confused shock when Jeremy's lips on his, ” yes” is the only word the Mongoose man says when he pulls away before locking their lips once more
his mind is so focused on locking muzzles with his fiance the idea is he's cooking up for how to capture that pesky Flash set aside for some time later, Besides his compromised Rogues probably have him handled
the end

Chapter Text

Crowley let out an exaggerated yawn at about the fourth pendulum swing, and looked back at his would be hypnotist with boredom

" you can at least pretend it's working" Aziraphale said annoyedly placing the pocket watch he was holding on the coffee table roughly

" that would be lying, and I promise to never lie to you" the demon retarded grin beginning to split his lips

Crowley chuckled a little at the pout his darling angel gave him," tell you what, if you can win this the way I do it I'll get you some lunch"

Aziraphale's mood lightened at the Mansion of lunch but looked at the demon like he was still annoyed and said in the best grumpy way he could, " okay, but don't complain when I do"

" I won't, because you won't" the demon said smugly before slipping down his shades, and signal was for the angel to look him in the eyes

The Angel takes a deep breath in, the demon raises his hand, the angel lets the breath out, and the demon snaps his fingers

And the angel goes wide-eyed as his mouth droops a little, and the demon smirks as he sits back and think so all the things you can make this lovely creature in front of him do and believe

...

Crowley had come to realize that Angels were susceptible to hypnotism, though maybe it was just one angel, his Angel to be more exact

The first time the angel had slipped so easy was doing this second meeting on Earth, Crowley had thought he'd figure it out everything his new demonic status could let him do

Apparently he was wrong

He was lounging and snake form in a tree, not the Forbidden tree but it was a fruit tree, a pear tree, blow him the angel was chewing idly on a pear, God he was gorgeous, he's lovely body draped in robes, the pear juice spilling on to his plump chest

he just couldn't look away

And neither could Aziraphale when he looked up idly to see the snakes staring him down, it took Crowley a couple seconds to realize that the angel wasn't looking away from him, ed he slithered down the tree and took human form

The angel moved his head to keep eye contact with him, he didn't react to the handwave the demon gave him or the little pinch on his side

" angel, what's wrong with you" the demon said worried raising his hands to try shaking the angel

" pretty stars" was all Aziraphale said in response, the demon glanced over to a nearby reflective pool to see his eyes did Shine with star like lights in them, closing his eyes and concentrating he opened to see them gone

And the angel was perfectly awake with a couple packs on the side of the head, and had no memory of what happened

...

Crowley had implanted the snap trigger as an act of desperation. After that little Tit for Tat about holy water

it was actually the last thing he did before he went into that centuries long angst coma

He had slipped into the Bookshop slightly plastered and angsty, the angel only had a second to yell at him before he was staring dazed into those Starry Eyes again

Crowley had ordered him to kiss him, he had and it was not a good kiss, it felt good physically yes, but the shame that came not soon after made him push the angel away

He would have just left but then an idea came to him, and he hoped to God he never had to use that idea, not until things were better, not until things were safe

...

" and when I snap my fingers you will wake and remember you're not Aziraphale The Marvelous but the lovely little assistant of the captivating Mr Crowley" the demon said was a saucy wink, which wasn't needed seeing as the only other person in the room was balls deep in a hypnotic trance and could really notice anything

And with a snap lovely a.z angel was ready to be a good little assistant, all dressed up in a form-fitting leotard and fishnets that hugged his thick thighs like rabid horny koalas, Crowley was even nice enough to let him keep his little mustache

Crowley extended a gloved hand which was taken by his sexy little minx and let him out for a lovely performance

And a couple more in their private dressing room, when he was completely himself again, obviously

Chapter Text

it was a sunny day In Central City and the Flash was having a casual jog, he took one last bite of his hot dog and stopped with a crackle of electricity at the nearest stand
His contemplation on what to put on his third hot dog of the day is interrupted by a explosion in the distance, grabbing the completely bare hot dog he Jets off,The man of the stand merely shrugs and continues to count the money he made that day
at the location of the explosion the flash drives the area, for something that sounded so loud the damage was quite minimal, the beginnings of the idea that this was some sort of trap was proven correct what frigid cold surrounded his feet, he whips his head to See the usual Copart and someone else
“ the day Mr Allen, it's good to finally meet you”, any snark that could have came out of the Speedster is silenced at the mentioning of his true last name
“ how do you”, but he's interrupted by the man suddenly appearing in front of him
“ I'll just say I have a couple folks on the inside of that little Club of yours, and you're about to join them”, the man said lifting and amulet Aloft that was perched on his neck, he began to grow menacingly and before Barry Allen could blink a shot of purple energy was beamed into him
…
Green Arrow was eating lunch in the Watchtower mess hall, many things were on his mind, he had noticed how oddly some of the other leaders had been acting lately, especially the big three, He had to admit they were pretty good at hiding this difference in themselves, but Oliver was always a man was a good eye
‘All Legion members please come to the meeting room, we have a big announcement”, the voice of Superman comes over the towers PA system, and everyone in the mess hall stands from their seats some grumbling at the little amount of food they got to eat

“ so what do you think this is about” Plastic Man Whispers conspiratory to Green Arrow who just shrugs and looks over when the big three walk into the room
“ fellows today is a day of greatness” Superman Begins his usual calming tone changed with something… concerning
“ today is the day that the world is given true peace”, he continues and the confusion that the room feels at this statement only grows when an odd device lowers from a hatch in the ceiling
for anyone could do anything a wave of energy fills the room, at first nothing happens, and then everyone notices the change
some gasp some yell and others only look and confusion at their quickly changing bodies, but there's nothing they can do and eventually the change completes
…
Michael in his truest form looks from the observation Bay of the Watchtower, “It's really is gorgeous from this View” he says to himself
“ and it's about to be perfection”, and with that and depressed of a button a beam shoots from the bottom of the Watchtower and the planet Earth is subsumed in purple energy, almost on Q monitors on the ground light up, from Washington to London and Beyond even that, those not already changed are quickly transformed and given the knowledge of their true purpose
“ today is a day to remember brothers and sister”, Michael says returning to his siblings who are looking on in similar Pride
“You’r fuckin right it is, this college football party”, fhillip says in an excited yell pulling out a bottle of whiskey for a side pocket
“ laser brother first we must plan out the next location, luckily the station has the perfect device for us to survey and travel there”, Michael says pulling up the interdimensional surveillance system
There's some surveying they come upon two very interesting looking alternate worlds, Earth 2004 And Earth 2014
“ will set up starting points in the gothams of both universes” Michael says, ” And Elizabeth will go to e2014 which means Peter and you’ he pauses to gesture at Peter and fhilip
“will be going to e2004’ he pulls up more in detail fact sheet about Earth 2004
“ I can't wait to meet that one’, fhillip says in a Lusty purr pointing to that world's Riddler
‘ but that is for later for now’, Michael pauses pressing a button and on Q a disco ball descends from the ceiling
“ we party”, and they do
the end for now

Chapter Text

Crowley had been in the position of demonic Prince of gluttony for you now and is meticulous planning had led to this point, he checks one last time with his heightened abilities from his promotion for any other angelic presences other than the one he was planning to meet anywhere close, the coast was clear he opens the newly installed door into the office

" i'm busy right now, clearly whatever you have to say isn't urgent if it was this whole place be flashing red as the devil's", but Aziraphale was cut off when he glances up to see not the incredibly nervous form of a lesser ringed Angelic host, but the form of someone he hasn't seen in quite some time

" crowley" the angel says in a surprise whisper a little bit of worry and hope glimmer in his eyes," what are you", but he's cut off when a bolt of pain comes to him he clutches at his head and slumps back into his chair at the thunderstorm of a headache continues

His attention is grabbed when a calloused hand props his chin up to look into Serpentine eyes, the pain Fades and is quickly replaced with a feeling like molasses being pulled directly into his very soul," this is for your own good" it's the last thing he hears before unconsciousness takes him

...

Aziraphale regains consciousness in a place much more softer than the place he was before, but his vision finally comes into Focus he finds he's in a luxurious bed chamber having been placed upon a black king size bed, he resist the urge sink back into the soft sheets and comes to his feet which is when he realizes he's been stripped of his old clothing and put into something else

He Marvels at the silken Chic like garment he's dressed in, but he quickly comes to his senses and makes his way barefoot to the door of the bedroom, muffled sound keeps him from opening it and he presses his ear to the door to get a better gauge of what's going on behind it

" i told you... now go haster... I said go!", the sudden yell causes Aziraphale to scramble back, he barely has a second to get his balance back on one of the bedposts when the door in front of him opens

" it's good to know you're awake finally" crowley says casually striding into the room and sending a shiver down the Angel's spine with a hand grazing his neck

It takes a couple seconds for the angel to regain his resolve and finally ask the question that was racing his mind the moment he woke up

" crowley, what have you done"

" what I had to"

" do you know what will happen to you when they", but Aziraphale is silence by a kiss which quickly turns from soft to tongue-filled and hard, the angel is breathing hard oxygen he doesn't truly need when a demon pulls away from him

" there's nothing they can do to me now, even if they tried, not as long as I have you, and believe me they won't be able to take you away from me again" crowley says and the angel can't help but believe him was all of his being, he shakes his head quickly dispelling what must be some foul demonic influence creeping into his being

" crowley you can't do this, this isn't right", but the demon only gets a more determined look in his eye

" this is right, this is for your own good ", and with those words he kisses the angel again, Aziraphale only struggles for second before the full force of Crowley's enhanced demonic abilities takes hold, and everything makes perfect sense

This is for his own good, and he couldn't be happier

...

The gathered demons under the service of the Demonic Prince of glutney were gathered for something quite unexpected but important according to the aforementioned Prince of gluttony

" as you can see my host, i have succeeded in a great Triumph against the enemy", crowley says in Triumph and the angel kneeling at his side merely leans into the loving hand petting at his hair

" but what if they try to get him back" one of the gathered demons asks

" glad you asked, eric! get out here with the test dummy ", the Demonic Prince yells to which and Eric hops too dragging out a very crappy facsimile of an Angel

" my sweet archangel, if you would demonstrate what you do to anyone who dare try to take you from me", the angel looks up at him and his eyes quickly change from there vacant happiness to a solid resolved to do as he is told,

he gets to his feet walks over to face the angel dummy and begins a chance, which causes most of the Demons to clench their ears in pain and the Eric to be in spontaneously melting face first, the angel ends with a cry in the Angelic tongue with summons a boat a very destructive lightning to strike the Angelic facsimile completely to Ash

" does that answer your question", crowley says smugly purring pridefully with the angel skips over to plop himself into his lap

" yeah, i think we're good on that", the demon who asked a question says it's still covering his ears

" well if that's all the questions I'm going to be asked", he pauses before raising his voice into a growly shout," all of you get the f*** out!", together demons do so including Eric who walks off with a still slightly melty face

" i love you", the angel says in a breakfast sigh sighing more when Crowley presses a kiss onto his forehead

" i love you too", crowley responds and takes a deep breath pushing back the doubts that this is for the best for both of them

he knows it's true, this was meant to happen, he just knows

The end

Chapter Text

The dark streets of the Gotham of Earth 2014 was perfect for elizabeth to sneak through, when she finds herself at the entrance to a dingy Motel, this isn't her final destination but it was getting quite late and she needed some sleep

The hotel bed was passable but not perfect and she lets her mind wander back to how this all began

...

Japan was quite a nice country especially tokyo, so many new things to discover in The Strange New World, but Elizabeth had a conquest to do and some internet searching gave an idea of how to start, and as her eyes landed on the stony-eyed black haired woman next to her in the museum she knew who to start with

Tatsu Yamashiro with a skilled swords woman and fighter and would be a useful asset in neutralizing those filthy human dictators in some of the other parts of the Asians, they would not worry of new existence, so they must be dead

Elizabeth sprung her plan at night when she knew Tatsu would be on a nightly Patrol to Smite the wicked, and she intended to be the one smited for, it was easy enough to draw the attention of a filthy low life

" no don't get away from me", she yelled as convincingly as she could into the night when the man grabbed her, when the man's attention was drawn away from her by the third of something landing on the concrete of the alleyway she's smoked and she saw the glint of a blade shining from the street lights

She backs away into the darkness and her smile only grows larger as a low-life Bloods sprays from The Sword wound from it being plunged through his stomach, she licks off some that gets on her face and then followed her knees beginning to weep crocodile tears

" are you okay ma'am" Tatsu questions and Elizabeth cakes are outstretched hand with the one adorned with her transformation gem encrusted ring

" i am, but I'm about to be much better", elizabeth answers and her ring begins to Glow

...

* she was truly a wonderful tool, i can still see those horrible men's faces twisted the other Souls left their bodies, god she looked beautiful with their blood on her*, elizabeth thinks to herself She thinks of the wonderful new form she graced the swords woman with, her live feline body sneaking through personal mansions, her licking the blood off of her with that sandpaper tongue, her heart swells with love as she remembers when she marked her as part of her hair, Tatsu wearing her Channel with loyalty to her beloved Queen and wife

The memories flow as she lets herself be taken by sleep
The end

Chapter Text

jervis have been experiencing something very hard for the last week or so, he was having dreams of Wonderland but not the usual scenarios of being reunited with his darling Departed sister Alice, these dreams involved a lot more the queen of hearts

Though she looked different than the time she showed up in the past, much more pretty, and a lot smaller, but still very queenly and affordative, he was forced to Bow and was given royal orders which sounded like nonsense in his dreams but made perfect sense when he woke and had the spontaneous urge to do as her royalness commanded

over the past couple days he shaved his beard, picked out more colorful things to wear, i learned how to speak in a perfect English accent, will be didn't actually have to learn he just woke up and he knew how to talk like that

His mental listings of the changes that had been brought upon himself, was interrupted by something quite strange, his own reflection blinked in front of him, he planks once and confusion and then his reflection starts talking to him

" what's with all the staring you weirdo", his reflection says in a voice not his own, and then it starts to shift, and as it does so it begins to climb out of the mirror, soon he's nose to nose with a cat-eyed brunette with a smile just as cat-like, the unorthodox purple shade of the Man's eyes is entrancing, and he only gains sense of himself again when he starts to feel an odd poking sensation at his temples

He looks back to the mirror to see that it's reflecting his true self again, and also that horns are splitting out of his forehead, they look goat like and seem to cause no pain to him

He's about to say something when a crashing from outside of the bathroom catches his attention, he rushes out on quickly changing feet, only tripping a little bit on his forming hooves, he sees in the living room quite a sight

The woman from his dreams, in the living room of his motel hideout, on the floor in front of her very panicked is Jonathan crane, the man had grown into quite an attractive if a bit aesthetically boring man in the time they knew each other, but it's fashion sense was not the important thing here

What was is that he was seemingly transforming into a lamb, clearly I've been going on for a while seeing as both his legs and arms had been completely overtaken by the transformation

And that's when Jonathan sleep code bursts open with a healthy amount of nearly added chest fur

" what the hell is happening!" he yells out the thought that was running into his head for a while now, almost on cue the man that he saw in the mirror walked out of another mirror

" what's happening my friend is that you're being honored" the man says, one of the cat ears a top his head flicks as his tail wags leisurely

" jervis did you drug me again" jonathan accuses looking in despair at his quickly changing torso

" no I'm seeing this too, and I'm sure I took my meds this morning", the older brunette replies and looks down and similar to spare as his hands become clothing

" you should be grateful ", the woman for his dreams says angrily and he does to his own horror, jonathan gets to his hoofed feet and stomps over to the Dream Woman, pointing a furious finger into sizable bosom

" grateful for what you beeech", he says soon covering his mouth at odd verbal Tech he just gained

" grateful to be a part of something wonderful", the woman says like it's the most reasonable thing to say, and to both of their Horrors they are starting to think what's happening to them is amazing

The mirror man had led both of the fully transformed men onto the couch standing before them and huddling down to look them both in the eyes, they seem to Glow of their own power and something about them made them impossible to look away from

" try to relax boys, it didn't hurt a bit did it", the man says letting out a pleased her when they let out grunts of affirmation

The man from the mirror easily turns their heads and presses them together in a messy kiss giggling madly to himself, he pulls away the hands when the pupils finally change into vertical slits and they start kissing of their own religion, exploring each other's changed bodies

They don't even notice the camera flash from the photo being taken by the mirror man

" i'm going to treasure this forever" he mumbles to himself send it into a pocket Dimension where he keeps all the memorabilia of his favorite ship

" oh by the way when you're done making out I have a job for you too", the Dream Woman says to the stew tongue battling people on the couch, they pull away for a moment to give simultaneous sloppy nods of acceptance of whatever they're told to do and then continue to make out

" well Lizzy should we be off then" michael says to his sister who gives a nod and they go arm in arm back into the streets of Gotham

The end

Chapter Text

Dexter, a lanky anthropomorphic dog with floppy ears and a patchy brown coat, lived in a small town called Tumbleton. The town was known for its vibrant festivals, where performers from across the land gathered to entertain the townsfolk with music, acrobatics, and—most famously—juggling.

Every year, Dexter would sit in the audience, wide-eyed as the jugglers tossed colorful balls, rings, and even flaming torches into the air. Their graceful coordination fascinated him. But while others saw it as just a bit of fun, Dexter saw it as pure magic.

One afternoon, after watching the festival performers for hours, Dexter decided he wanted to be part of that magic. He raced home, paws pounding the dirt, ears flopping in the wind. When he burst into his house, his best friend and housemate, Milo the mouse, was nibbling on a crumb of cheese.

“Whoa, Dexter, what’s got you so excited?” Milo squeaked, watching his tall friend pacing with enthusiasm.

“I want to learn how to juggle!” Dexter declared, his tail wagging rapidly.

Milo stared up at him, eyes wide. “Juggle? You’ve never even thrown a ball, let alone kept three in the air.”

Dexter was undeterred. “I’ll practice! I’ve watched them enough to know how it works. It’s all about rhythm and timing.”

The next day, Dexter started small. He picked up three apples from the kitchen counter and stood in the yard. Milo perched on a fencepost, watching skeptically. Dexter tossed the first apple into the air, then the second—but before the third even left his paw, the first two came tumbling down, bouncing off his nose.

“Maybe start with just one,” Milo suggested, chuckling.

Dexter, determined as ever, tossed one apple up and caught it easily. Then he tried with two. This time, he managed a few back-and-forth throws before they plummeted to the ground. Frustration crept in, but Dexter shook it off. He wasn’t going to give up.

For weeks, Dexter practiced every morning. He started with soft rubber balls, working up to juggling two at a time with ease. By the third week, he was ready to try three again. Milo watched, now more impressed than doubtful, as Dexter tossed one ball up, then the next, and—miraculously—kept all three moving in a steady pattern.

“I did it!” Dexter barked, his tail wagging so hard it nearly knocked over a nearby flowerpot. “I’m juggling!”

Milo clapped his tiny paws. “You’re a natural, Dexter! Now you just need to work on doing it longer, maybe add in some tricks.”

Dexter’s eyes sparkled with excitement. His goal wasn’t just to juggle—he wanted to perform at the next Tumbleton festival. With Milo’s encouragement, Dexter started practicing different tricks: juggling while spinning, tossing the balls higher, and even balancing on one paw.

As the festival approached, Dexter began to feel nervous. He had been practicing for months now, but performing in front of a crowd was a whole different challenge. What if he dropped the balls? What if he tripped over his own paws?

Milo noticed his friend’s anxiety and gave him a reassuring nudge. “Dexter, you’ve worked hard for this. Even if things go wrong, just remember why you started—because you love it.”

The day of the festival arrived, and Dexter found himself backstage, heart pounding. The crowd roared with laughter and applause as other performers took the stage, but Dexter’s mind was focused on his juggling routine.

When his name was called, he stepped out, ears drooping slightly with nerves. The bright lights and sea of faces made his paws tremble, but then he spotted Milo, standing in the front row, giving him a thumbs-up. Dexter took a deep breath, picked up his juggling balls, and began.

At first, his throws were shaky, but as he found his rhythm, the balls danced through the air with precision. The crowd watched in awe as Dexter juggled higher and faster, spinning and balancing on one paw as he did. By the time he finished with a perfect toss-and-catch finale, the audience erupted into applause.

Dexter’s tail wagged so hard he thought it might fall off, but he didn’t care. He had done it. He had become a juggler.

Milo ran up to him afterward, grinning from ear to ear. “That was amazing, Dexter! You were the star of the show!”

Dexter smiled, his floppy ears perking up. “I couldn’t have done it without you, Milo.”

From that day on, Dexter became Tumbleton’s resident juggler, performing at every festival with a confidence and joy that inspired the whole town. And whenever someone asked him how he learned to juggle, he’d simply say, “With a lot of practice—and a little help from a friend.”

Chapter Text

There are a lot of things that separate Oswald cobblepot and Edward nigma from other couples, but there was one thing that makes them quite similar to many

bedroom troubles, more specifically a difference of opinion on who's supposed to be where, both reason that they've been fucked most of the lives it's high time they are the one doing the fucking, usually they were civil enough to take turns, The night that started this dry spell between them started was Oswald's turn to be taken it up their ass, but that day was a bad day for him

First the Batman blows up another one of his smuggling operations out of the gotham Docs, then his most popular lounge singer quits to make it big in Hollywood, and all the stress makes him forget that it was his turn

One big argument later they haven't been having sex for 2 weeks, oswald lets out an exhausted exhale into the crook of one of his arms, he's just about to get up to go out for a smoke when something

Or will someone catches his attention, right in the middle of his office is a sharply Dressed brunette haired man sitting right squat in a chair, he looks like he's in there for a while though that's all too sure he would have noticed him earlier if he was

" who the fuck are you", oswald angry questions inching a hand closer to a desk drawer where he keeps a gun, he wrenches his hand back when like in a Flash the man is standing in front of his desk a hand press leisurely to the wood

" i go by many names" he pauses to raise up a clenched fist before outstretching a finger as they begin to use to speak," michael, master, your Majesty, horrible snake Beast" he pauses again resting his head on his other hand and a smug smile splitting his lips

" but I'd like you to call me a friend", the man Michael Maybe continues fluttering his eyelashes

"What do you want from me”, Oswald retorts looking untrustingly at the brunette, the man just laughs a laugh that seems to hissing to be human

“ we'll talk about that after I'm done doing something for you”, Oswald flinches when he grabs a photo from his desk and holds it in front of his face looking at it curiously, “I take it you're having relationship problems”, he smiles knowingly at Oswald turning the photo to show a picture of he and Edward together on their wedding day

“ how did you”, but he's cut off by the brunette beginning to talk again

“ I'd like to consider myself a love expert, I just sort of know these things, and I can help you out of this predicament, i can promise you Mr cobblepot when you see Edward again he's going to be more than agreeable to let you vent your frustrations out on him in anyway you'd like", and with a tip of a hat he seemingly pulls out of nowhere the man vanishes from sight, oswald for his part pulls out a flask for one of his drawers start drinking from it

...

Oswald head disregarded his meeting with that odd man and some sort of stress hallucination up until he went back to his apartment at the top of the Iceberg Lounge to find Edward there

More specifically in their bedroom completely missing all of his clothing except for a nice little pair of green lingerie panties

And he was quite agreeable to be on bottom this time, and to be on bottom every time after this, oswald would have found this suspicious if he wasn't still a little bit tipsy from the too flasks of whiskey he downed after that little maybe hallucination visit

After night of passionate love making edward had fallen probably to Slumber leaving Oswald to be the only one to see a familiar shopping dress man just appear in his bedroom, he would have pinched himself if man didn't start talking

" been I fulfilled my promise, now I think it's time for your part of ideal", the man Chuckles Darkly as a gym attached to a necklace begins to Glow a similar shade to his eyes

,,,

Meanwhile many Earths away another set of oswald and Edward or having a nice little drink, unbeknownst to them they were being watched

a rotund fellow flapped his owl like wings silently as he hovered outside of the window carrying a muscular fellow in his surprisingly strong arms, the muscular man was gazing lustily at the blackhead Riddler of this Earth, mentally undressing the man as he licks his lips an anticipation of dominating a nerd

The end

Chapter Text

Aziraphale stirred in his sleep, a soft groan escaping his lips. Crowley smiled, his heart fluttering as he watched his husband's chest rise and fall rhythmically. He had awoken earlier that morning, eager to surprise Aziraphale with a special breakfast.

With a gentle touch, Crowley nudged Aziraphale awake. "Morning, my love," he whispered, his voice filled with warmth. Aziraphale's eyes fluttered open, and a sleepy smile spread across his face. "Good morning, Crowley," he replied, his voice still laced with drowsiness.

Crowley stood up and headed towards the kitchen. "I've got a surprise for you," he said, his voice filled with excitement. Aziraphale followed him, curious to see what Crowley had in store.

When they entered the kitchen, Aziraphale's eyes widened in surprise. The table was set with a beautiful breakfast spread. There was a stack of fluffy pancakes, a bowl of fresh fruit, a pot of steaming coffee, and a vase of Aziraphale's favorite flowers.

"Oh, Crowley, this is wonderful," Aziraphale exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with delight.

Crowley grinned. "I wanted to make something special for you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," he said, taking Aziraphale's hand.

Aziraphale squeezed Crowley's hand. "And you're the best thing that's ever happened to me," he replied, his voice filled with love.

Together, they sat down and enjoyed their breakfast. As they ate, they talked and laughed, their hearts filled with joy. When they were finished, Crowley cleared the table while Aziraphale washed the dishes.

As they worked together, Crowley couldn't help but feel a sense of peace and contentment. He was so grateful to have Aziraphale in his life.
After breakfast, Crowley and Aziraphale decided to take a walk in the park. As they strolled through the lush greenery, the sun dappled their faces, casting playful shadows on the ground.

Aziraphale admired the vibrant flowers that bloomed in a variety of colors. A gentle breeze carried the sweet scent of blooming roses through the air. Crowley smiled, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere.

They came across a small pond, its surface shimmering in the sunlight. A family of ducks waddled along the shore, their fluffy ducklings trailing behind them. Aziraphale knelt down to watch the ducklings, a look of pure joy on his face.

Crowley chuckled. "You're so gentle with them," he said.

Aziraphale looked up at him. "I love animals," he replied. "They're so innocent and carefree."

As they continued their walk, they talked about everything and nothing, their conversation flowing effortlessly. Aziraphale shared stories from his time in Heaven, while Crowley recounted tales of his adventures in Hell.

As the sun began to set, casting long shadows across the park, Crowley and Aziraphale found a secluded spot on a hill overlooking the city. They sat down on a blanket and watched the twilight sky, its colors changing from orange to pink to purple.

"It's beautiful," Aziraphale whispered, his eyes filled with wonder.

Crowley took Aziraphale's hand. "It is," he replied. "And so are you."

As they sat together, watching the stars twinkle above them, Crowley knew that he was truly happy. He had found the love of his life, and he was grateful for every moment they spent together.

Chapter Text

Oswald and Edward are having a couple drinks when a set of two other people appear in the room

The brown haired man only has a chance to get out a good evening before there's a bullet in his chest, but instead of falling to the floor dead like anyone else would he looks down and disappointment and shakes his head

" you could have at least let me finish my sentence", the man says in a Scottish accent, Oswald is just about to try firing again when the man that was standing next to the person he shot rushes over in a Flash grabbing his umbrella pistol and breaking it in one hand with a squeeze

" thank you brother", Scotsman clears his throat before continuing what he was going to say

" good evening gentlemen I'm Peter and this is my brother fhilip, and we would like a favor from you", the red-haired man fhilip apparently releases his grip letting the now broken pistol fall to the floor as always while drops it, he turns his head to stare lastly and Edward who had just been sitting there in shock through the whole experience

" if you would be so kind Mr cobblepot to lend my brother Edward over there", both the brunette and Oswald's eyes flick to Edward who looks like he's trying to form words but failing, also looks back to the brunette when he begins speaking again

" we will give you, this", the man pulls a sizable bag of cash from his coat

" how long you want him for", Oswald retorts raising a misshaping hand to grab the bag

" oh my God you can't be actually considering it", Edward finally speaks looking disappointedly at the diminutive redhead

" oh don't worry darling", the much more beefy redhead is now pressed close to the Riddler's side his odd Aroma of sea salt and whiskey Burns he's nostrils," it's just for one night, I'm sure you can handle me for that long~" the man licks up the side of Edward's neck sending a disgusted shiver down the man's spine

" I am not", but Edward is cut off by fhilip pulling him into a kiss his saliva taste like dead animals and and Power and soon the scrawny blackhead man is limp in strong arms, Edward blinks glassy eyes when that wonderful tongue pulls from his

"So" Patrick's voice draws as world's eyes back to him, he set the money on the coffee table the brunette looks at him expectedly," do we have a deal

...

Oswald weighs patiently in the drinking room, he was told by Patrick that Edward we returned come morning to this place, the sound of the door opening catches his attention from his nervous ringing of his hands, he rises without looking beginning to speak as he comes closer to who we presumes to be Edward

" Edward doll I'm sorry, but did you see what that guy did to my gun think we what he could have done to", he cuts himself off when he finally registers Edward's appearance, he was changed greatly changed in the place of the human man he was expecting to be returned to him was bipedal Fox like creature, was far as black as the real Edward's hair

It was the real Edward, Oswald realized that when he recognized the outfit the thing was wearing, though it was modified to allow his new bushy tale to swing freely

" wha.. what happened to you", that's all all is well can get out before the fox creature his Eddie now is pulls them into a kiss, it begins speaking in Edward's voice when they pull away

" I became perfect, just like you are darling", Oswald barely notices the gym being pulled from somewhere on Edwards person before purple light fills the room

,,,

fhilip sits outside the master bedroom window of the Copper Pot mansion, listening intently to the love making going on inside, he licks his lips at the sound of pleasured yipping and squawks

The end

Chapter Text

On a quiet Tuesday morning in Soho, a rare event was unfolding. Aziraphale, angel, bookshop owner, and proud lover of all things ineffably British, had finally convinced Crowley, demon, fast car enthusiast, and reluctant doer of good, to accompany him on a grocery run.

“Why are we even doing this?” Crowley drawled as he slouched against the doorframe of the bookshop, sunglasses firmly in place despite the overcast sky.

“Because, dear boy, there is a certain charm in acquiring things the human way. Besides,” Aziraphale said, adjusting his tartan scarf, “I’m in dire need of those delectable scones from Mrs. Featherstone’s shop, and I do want to get a look at that new local honey.”

Crowley rolled his eyes behind his dark lenses. “You do know that with a snap, I could fill your shop with enough scones to feed the entire British Isles, right?”

Aziraphale wagged a finger. “Ah, but where’s the joy in that? It’s about the experience, Crowley.”

Resigned to his fate, Crowley followed the angel out onto the cobblestones. The Bentley purred as they drove the short distance to the marketplace, Crowley’s fingers drumming impatiently on the steering wheel. The moment they parked, he shot Aziraphale a look that said, we’re in and out, right? Aziraphale’s answering smile was far too innocent for his own good.

Inside the quaint market, Crowley slouched by the entrance as Aziraphale floated through the aisles, humming with delight. Crowley found himself trailing after, arms crossed and a constant mutter of “this is ridiculous” under his breath.

“Oh, look at these!” Aziraphale exclaimed, holding up a jar of marmalade with such reverence that Crowley half-expected a choir of angels to burst into song behind him. “Made by hand, no less. Isn't that delightful?”

Crowley shrugged. “Wouldn’t know. I don’t eat.”

Aziraphale ignored the comment and tossed the jar into his basket. As they wove past pyramids of oranges and displays of artisanal cheeses, a small child waved at Crowley, her eyes wide with curiosity at the strange man in sunglasses who radiated an aura of barely contained chaos. Crowley scowled. The child giggled.

Before long, the angel’s basket overflowed with an eclectic array of items: lavender shortbread, imported teas, and a suspiciously large wheel of Camembert. Crowley watched, half-amused, as Aziraphale struggled to balance everything while reaching for a jar on the top shelf. With a sigh that screamed if I must, Crowley flicked his wrist, and the jar floated gently down into Aziraphale’s grasp.

“Oh, thank you, my dear!” Aziraphale beamed, and Crowley’s smirk softened, just a little.

“Don’t mention it,” he muttered, shoving his hands back into his pockets.

Finally, they approached the register, where Mrs. Featherstone herself smiled at them both. “Why, if it isn’t Mr. Fell and his mysterious companion! A lovely day, isn’t it?”

Aziraphale nodded, placing his items on the counter with the air of someone preparing for a grand banquet. “Indeed it is, Mrs. Featherstone. And you must tell me—did you add the cinnamon to the scones like I suggested?”

Crowley rolled his eyes and glanced at the clock on the wall. But then he looked back at Aziraphale, who was chatting about the merits of clotted cream as if the fate of the world depended on it. Crowley didn’t sigh this time. He stood there, in a little shop filled with human chatter, surrounded by the faint scent of oranges and honey, and for once, he didn’t mind the wait.

After all, some things, he figured, were ineffably worth it.

Chapter Text

The Velasco twins have separated and reunited many times in their lives, the man who wants was Jeremiah Velasco had foggy memories of the last time he was separated from his twin brother, he had a feeling at some point. It is metamorphosis do the man he is today. He did not like his twin brother

And the feeling was mutual he could remember

But that didn’t really matter now his brother was dead, and there was no raising the dead

At least that’s what he thought, until just like always, he was taken back to Arkham after being apprehended by the Batman, he was too busy, plotting his next crime spree to realize that the elevator was not going up to the floor that had his cell
It was going down , down into the bowels of the asylum

He only realized that when he woke up from being chloroformed strapped to a table, his head pounded from the forced unconsciousness and he could bet that his arms and legs were strapped pretty tight so we didn’t try to move them

The smell cart is nostrils soon after he woke , it was a stink of death somewhere in him. He knew when he turned his head, he’d see his brother’s corpse.
And that is exactly what he , His brother’s maggot hole ridden corpse, Jeremiah made of noise of discussed at this site and sat his eyes to keep looking around the room
It seems the slab he was tied to was an upright thing , the room he was in was filled with very mad scientist like things, like syringes and beeping machines, and most importantly
The mad scientist himself, From the shadows appeared the form of Hugo strange looking just as bold and evil as you always had
“ so what’s the game this time Doc?” Jeremiah said, only slightly annoyed at this predicament, the doctor really laughed in a voice the horribly deformed man didn’t recognize coming out of him
“ oh I am not Hugo” the thing that looked like you go straight and said before his entire body shifted in a flash and before Jeremiah and the corpse of Jerome Velasco Studeman, neither had met before

“ and the game’s a little rejuvenation” and was a snap of fingers the floor beneath Jerome Velasquez corpse wrench in half to a review of bubbling pitch of green liquid, before the living brother knew it there were strains holding his dead brother were released, and the corpse fell into the liquid below, and something came out a couple seconds later
…
Bruce Wayne pulled up to the gates of Arkham asylum for his yearly sponsor review, he knew just like always they wouldn’t take his suggestions on how to make the place better and be as crap as they always will be, so he was in for a big surprise when he was led into the recreation room
Instead of the usual chaos, he was used to in these reviews, everything seem to be calm and peaceful, all the inmates were chatting peacefully between themselves, and what he saw also in that room was another great shock
Laughing between each other with the Velasko twins , except Jerome was supposed to be dead, and Jeremiah was supposed to be hideously deformed
But then they were completely fine and dandy, laughing like jackals at each other‘s jokes
Bruce knew it he should find this alarming but despite how much he wanted to
He just couldn’t , instead he walked over to the twins and insert himself Into their space
And he fit right back into the space he filled in both of those men’s live just fine as he did when he first met them
The end

Chapter Text

Dorothy Crane had always felt a little different. Growing up in Gotham City, surrounded by the constant cacophony of crime and the looming shadow of her father, Jonathan Crane, the Scarecrow, she'd learned to keep her head down and her emotions in check. But even amidst the darkness, she'd felt a strange pull, a connection to something beyond the ordinary.

Her uncle, Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter, had always been a source of fascination for Dorothy. His obsession with tea parties and his ability to manipulate others with his hypnotic hats had always seemed both terrifying and intriguing. She'd often wondered if there was a part of him that she could relate to.

It was during a particularly stormy night that Dorothy's world was turned upside down. A sudden gust of wind blew open her bedroom window, sending a shiver down her spine. As she closed it, she noticed a strange, glowing object lying on her bed. It was a small, ornate book, its cover adorned with intricate symbols and strange, swirling patterns.

Intrigued, Dorothy picked up the book and opened it. The pages were filled with strange diagrams, incantations, and ancient languages. As she read, she felt a surge of energy coursing through her, a sense of power she'd never experienced before. She realized that the book was a grimoire, a magical tome that had been passed down through her family for generations.

With a mixture of fear and excitement, Dorothy began to experiment with the spells and rituals contained within the grimoire. She discovered that she had the power to manipulate the elements, control the minds of others, and even fly. The realization that she was a witch, descended from a long line of powerful sorcerers, was both overwhelming and exhilarating.

Dorothy knew that her newfound powers came with great responsibility. She had to be careful not to let her emotions get the better of her, or else she could become as dangerous as her father and uncle. But she also knew that she could use her abilities to help others, to fight for justice, and to make a difference in the world.

Chapter Text

The first rays of dawn filtered through the thick, velvet curtains of the bookshop's upstairs bedroom. Crowley stirred, the faint scent of freshly brewed tea and something delightfully buttery teasing his senses. He stretched lazily, letting the sheets slide down his bare chest, and peeked over his dark sunglasses, which he'd refused to remove even for sleep.

Standing in the doorway, bathed in the golden morning light, was Aziraphale, balancing a tray with the grace of someone who’d spent centuries perfecting the art of making things just so. The tray bore a pristine porcelain teapot, a plate of buttery scones, a small jar of raspberry jam, and a neatly folded napkin.

"What’s this, then?" Crowley drawled, propping himself up on one elbow.

"Breakfast, dear boy," Aziraphale replied with a smile that rivaled the sun. "I thought it might be nice to start the day properly for once."

Crowley quirked an eyebrow behind his glasses. "What’s the occasion? Did Heaven finally approve of tea parties in bed?"

Aziraphale tutted and made his way over to the bed, setting the tray carefully on Crowley’s lap. "Must there always be an occasion? I simply thought you’d enjoy it."

Crowley eyed the tray suspiciously, though the aroma of the scones was quickly breaking down his resolve. "You didn’t poison it, did you? I know how you feel about breakfast pastries being ‘improperly appreciated.’"

"Don’t be absurd," Aziraphale huffed, settling on the edge of the bed. "I made the scones myself this morning. They’re perfectly safe."

Crowley smirked, picking up a scone and examining it like it might explode. "You made these? Didn’t miracle them up, then?"

"Of course not!" Aziraphale replied, a hint of indignation in his voice. "There’s something special about doing things the human way, you know. Rolling out the dough, shaping each one by hand..."

Crowley bit into the scone, and his smirk softened into something more genuine. "Not bad," he muttered around a mouthful of pastry.

"Not bad?" Aziraphale repeated, affronted. "They’re excellent."

Crowley took another bite, savoring the perfect balance of buttery richness and sweet jam. "Alright, angel. Excellent. Happy now?"

"Immensely," Aziraphale said, his smile softening as he watched Crowley eat.

For a moment, the room was quiet save for the sound of the occasional sip of tea or the soft crunch of a scone. The chaotic world outside the bookshop seemed far away, as it often did when they were together.

"You didn’t have to do this, you know," Crowley said after a while, his voice uncharacteristically gentle.

"I know," Aziraphale replied, his gaze steady. "But I wanted to."

Crowley set his teacup down and reached for Aziraphale’s hand. "Thanks, angel."

Aziraphale’s cheeks pinkened, and he squeezed Crowley’s hand in return. "You’re very welcome, my dear."

And for the first time in what felt like centuries, Crowley let himself relax completely, sinking into the warmth of Aziraphale’s care and the simple pleasure of a scone done just right.

Chapter Text

jervis had I've been seeing a therapist for a while now, and he was of the opinion that the medication and talks were doing wonders for his previously rampant hallucination problem
that was until he finds himself standing at the door out of his personal lab in Wayne Enterprises to find not the usual hallway behind but a sprawling landscape That greatly resembled something from his favorite book, he blinked once close the door took a deep breath and opened it
and still there was the sprawling wondrous landscape, but there was also an additional thing, a well built redhead standing leisurely in the door frame of the open door,jervis was just about to try opening and closing it again when the hand he had on the door knob was seized and he was pulled quite forcefully into a world not his own
,,,
Jonathan tapped his foot in patiently behind his desk, it was an hour past the usual time Mr tetch got to his appointment ,He had intended this to be very special appointment, he had fantasized thoroughly of subjecting the man to quite a vivid hallucination, he harmed in satisfaction at the thought of the shorter redhead riving in terrified agony, he snapped back to reality when they came knocking
“ come in” he said, an annoyance at being interrupted from his fantasies, and per quite up when the main attraction of said fantasies, walked right through the door, and then he noticed what he was wearing

He was dressed up as a character. Both men were quite familiar with, the one held more love for the sauce material said character came from the other, Jonathan cleared his throat and tried to put on an air of un bothered us at this odd choice of outfit from his patient and began to speak

“ you’re late Mr tetch, but I’m not too insulted by that fact, sit please”, the oddly dressed redhead did so smiling grin that didn’t look right on his, it was just too joyous

“ Now, Jervis I’d like to try something different for today’s session”, Jonathan reached into a drawer he kept open for times such as this, his hand wrapped around the familiar canister inside of the drawer
“ I’d like to do something different too”, Jonathan‘s face scrunched at the man’s reply, Jarvis Millie gave the clothes mouth google, his hand clearly wrapped around something he was keeping in his newly acquired coat pocket

Jonathan pull the canister from the drawer, and walked carefully from behind his desk to stand beside the still seated ginger, he eyes the man holding what he had out of sight behind his back, the other man stands for his seat
And takes the bonnet by surprise by kissing him full on the lips, the canister of the good doctors personal formula falls to the floor with a light tingling sound a soft lips press against scarred ones, it takes me a moment for Jonathan to change the plans for today’s session and take the lead
He was both of his now free hand to grab onto the redheads, plump, middle and dip him down. The mouth still connected in passionate tongue play.

They pull a power for air and look each other in the eyes, there’s a shared madness between them now, it’s something Jonathan had had in himself for a long time, and it doesn’t look half bad on Jervis
Jonathan ‘s just about to go for another taste of those soft lips when a soft hand plant itself on his neck and his train of thought stops dead in its tracks
Jervis takes the lead for the rest of the “appointment”
…
“ look at them they’re so cute together”, Michael Coos the photo of his favorite couple he was sent by fhillip, the rabbit and feline men sleep peacefully in each other’s arms after a night of passion
Michael continues to battle about how totally adorable the two of them are as his sister rolls her eyes in amusement about how much of a big nerd her big bro is

Chapter Text

Robin Redwing, an anamorphic robin with a keen sense of adventure, fluttered excitedly in front of Feathered Funland, the grandest amusement park for birds. She adjusted her tiny leather jacket, a gift from her friend Sparrow, and flexed her wings. Today was the day she would conquer "Sky Drop," the tallest ride in the park.

Feathered Funland buzzed with activity. Parrots squawked as they raced on the Wind Tunnel coaster, flamingos strutted near the Pond Splash ride, and penguins slid down the Ice Slide. Robin had saved up every worm token she earned at her job running the local nest café to afford this trip.

Her first stop was the "Twisty Branch." A rollercoaster designed for high-flying birds, it twisted through loops shaped like tree branches. As Robin buckled into the ride, her feathers fluffed with excitement. The coaster zipped through the air, and she let out a joyous chirp.

Next, Robin explored the "Seed Stand," a snack station that sold gourmet sunflower seeds, millet pops, and nectar slushies. She ordered a honeydew-flavored slushie, savoring the sweetness as she perched on a bench near the Hummingbird Carousel.

Finally, it was time for the Sky Drop. The ride towered above the park, its perch reaching into the clouds. As Robin joined the line, her heart raced—not with fear, but with exhilaration.

“You nervous?” asked a nearby blue jay, noticing her tapping talons.

“Not at all,” Robin replied, her beak twitching with a confident smile.

When her turn came, Robin strapped into the ride and gripped the safety bar with her claws. The lift began to ascend, higher and higher until the park below looked like a patchwork quilt of green and gold.

The drop was sudden and exhilarating. Robin's wings instinctively flared as she soared downward, the wind rushing past her feathers. When the ride ended, she hopped out, her heart soaring just as high as the ride had taken her.

As the sun set, casting the park in hues of orange and pink, Robin perched on a high platform, looking out over Feathered Funland. The distant sound of chirps and laughter filled the air. It had been a perfect day.

With a contented sigh, Robin spread her wings and took off into the evening sky, already planning her next adventure.

Chapter Text

It was a sunny afternoon in Gotham City, a rare treat given the city's usual gloomy skyline. At a quaint vegan bistro tucked away in one of Gotham's quieter neighborhoods, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy sat at a small table, enjoying their lunch.

Harley, dressed in her signature red and black ensemble with a casual twist—an oversized hoodie and fishnet stockings—was animatedly recounting a story from their last escapade. Ivy, in a flowing green sundress adorned with delicate floral patterns, listened with an amused smirk as she sipped her herbal tea.

"I’m tellin’ ya, Red," Harley said between bites of her avocado toast. "When that guy tried to swipe the loot and tripped on his own shoelaces, I thought I was gonna bust a gut laughin’! You should’ve seen his face!"

Ivy chuckled softly, brushing a strand of vibrant red hair from her face. "You have a knack for chaos, Harl. It’s part of your charm."

Their serene lunch date was suddenly interrupted by the unmistakable sound of a grappling hook latching onto the edge of the bistro’s awning. Both women exchanged knowing looks as a shadow descended upon them.

"Harley. Ivy," came the deep, gravelly voice of Batman as he landed gracefully in front of their table, his cape billowing dramatically.

Harley groaned, throwing her head back. "Batsy! Can’t a gal enjoy her kale smoothie in peace? What’s the big idea, crashin’ our date like this?"

Ivy crossed her arms, her green eyes narrowing. "This had better be important, Batman. We were in the middle of something."

Batman, ever stoic, straightened and fixed them with his intense gaze. "There’s been a break-in at Gotham Botanical Gardens. Rare plants have been stolen, and I’m willing to bet you two know something about it."

Ivy scoffed. "Oh, please. As if I would harm my own creations. That’s insulting, even for you."

"Yeah!" Harley added, waving her fork for emphasis. "We’ve been here all afternoon, enjoyin’ a nice, civilized meal. Check the receipts, Bat-brain!"

Batman frowned but remained silent for a moment, clearly processing their alibi. The waitress, sensing the tension, hesitantly approached with their bill. Harley snatched it up and waved it in Batman’s face.

"See? We ordered the ‘Lover’s Lunch Special’ at 12:45! Unless ya think I’m pullin’ heists in between bites of tofu tacos, we’re innocent!"

Batman glanced at the bill, then at Ivy, who was calmly finishing her tea. "If you’re not involved, then who is?"

Ivy leaned back in her chair, a sly smile on her lips. "Sounds like someone’s trying to frame us. Might want to expand your list of suspects, detective."

Harley grinned. "Yeah, maybe check with that Riddler guy. He’s always up to somethin’ sneaky!"

Batman gave them one last, scrutinizing look before activating his communicator. "Alfred, run a cross-check on recent activity at Gotham Botanical Gardens. Narrow the search to anyone who might want to implicate Poison Ivy."

As Batman disappeared back into the shadows, Harley let out an exasperated sigh. "That guy really knows how to ruin a mood, huh?"

Ivy smirked, reaching across the table to take Harley’s hand. "Let’s not let him spoil the rest of our day. What do you say we skip dessert here and grab gelato instead?"

Harley’s eyes lit up. "Now you’re talkin’, Red!"

With that, the pair stood, paid their bill, and strolled hand-in-hand down the street, leaving behind the chaos of Gotham—and Batman—for at least the rest of the afternoon.

Chapter Text

It was a crisp January morning, and Michael sat perched on the windowsill, his slender feline tail flicking in agitation. The small studio apartment he shared with Jeremy seemed unusually quiet, save for the occasional rustling of Jeremy’s movements in the adjacent room. Michael glanced at the calendar on the wall, his sharp green eyes narrowing. The date was unmistakable: their anniversary.

“Unbelievable,” Michael muttered under his breath. “How could he forget? I dropped enough hints to fill a novel.”

He leapt gracefully from the windowsill to the sofa, landing with the regal air befitting his princely lineage. His amorphic form shimmered faintly in the morning light, a subtle reminder of his celestial origins. Though exiled to Earth, he still carried himself with an innate nobility, even when sulking.

Jeremy, meanwhile, was in the kitchen, humming a soft tune as he carefully arranged something on a tray. Unlike Michael, whose feline form was lithe and elegant, Jeremy’s amorphic mongoose figure was compact and energetic, always darting about with a purpose. Today, however, his movements were unusually deliberate.

“Perfect,” Jeremy whispered to himself as he added the finishing touches to his creation. He cast a quick glance toward the living room, where Michael was brooding on the sofa. A small smile played across Jeremy’s lips as he suppressed a chuckle.

By the time afternoon rolled around, Michael’s frustration had reached its peak. He prowled to the kitchen, where Jeremy was still preoccupied.

“Jeremy,” Michael began, his tone pointed, “do you happen to know what today is?”

Jeremy turned, his dark eyes widening in feigned confusion. “Hmm, Tuesday?”

Michael’s ears flattened against his head. “Our anniversary, Jeremy. The day we first met.”

Jeremy blinked, his expression the picture of innocence. “Oh, was that today? Sorry, love, I’ve been so busy—”

Michael huffed and stormed back to the sofa, his princely demeanor slipping into outright sulking. Jeremy bit his lip to keep from laughing aloud.

As the sun began to set, Jeremy finally called out, “Michael, can you come here for a moment?”

Michael’s tail flicked irritably, but he padded over to the kitchen nonetheless. When he rounded the corner, his breath caught.

The small table was transformed. Fairy lights were draped along the edges, casting a soft golden glow. A bouquet of Michael’s favorite flowers—lavender and moon lilies—sat in the center, and two steaming plates of their favorite meal were artfully arranged. A small cake, decorated with elegant swirls of frosting, sat nearby.

“Jeremy,” Michael whispered, his voice barely audible.

“Happy anniversary, Your Highness,” Jeremy said with a grin, bowing with exaggerated flourish. “Did you really think I’d forget?”

Michael felt a pang of guilt for doubting him, but it was quickly replaced by warmth. “You had me fooled,” he admitted, his tone softer now.

Jeremy stepped closer, placing a paw gently under Michael’s chin. “You deserve the world, Michael. I might not be able to give you that, but I can make our little corner of Earth special for you.”

Michael’s lips curled into a smile, and for once, he didn’t care about maintaining his regal composure. He leaned in, nuzzling Jeremy affectionately.

“You’ve outdone yourself,” Michael murmured. “Thank you, Jeremy.”

“Anything for you,” Jeremy replied, wrapping his arms around Michael.

The two settled into their candlelit dinner, the warmth of their love making the evening unforgettable. For all his princely airs, Michael knew that with Jeremy, he had found a treasure far greater than any crown.

Chapter Text

On the outskirts of a quaint little town, where the mountains stood tall and frosted like cakes with powdered sugar, Michael and Gregory found themselves surrounded by a pristine white blanket of snow. Gregory, a young boy with a shock of curly black hair, had his coat buttoned up tightly, his scarf flapping in the crisp winter wind. Michael, ever the graceful amorphic cat, stood with a playful grin curling across his feline features, his golden eyes sparkling in the sunlight.

"Alright, Gregory," Michael began, his smooth voice carrying a mischievous tone, "time to see if you can outwit the Crown Prince of the Amorphic Galaxy in a snowball fight."

Gregory grinned, bending down to scoop up a handful of snow. His hands worked quickly, shaping the snow into a perfect sphere. "You may be a prince, Dad, but you’re no match for me!"

Michael chuckled, flicking his tail playfully. "Big talk for someone so small. Let’s see what you’ve got!"

The battle commenced. Gregory launched his snowball with surprising accuracy, catching Michael squarely on the shoulder. "Nice shot!" Michael exclaimed before ducking behind a tree and crafting his own snowballs with swift precision.

Snowballs flew through the air like comets streaking across the heavens. Gregory darted between snowdrifts, giggling uncontrollably as Michael pretended to be caught off guard, leaping dramatically into the snow when struck. The two of them were a blur of motion, laughter ringing through the otherwise quiet woods.

After a particularly intense exchange, Gregory called out, "Truce! Truce!" He flopped onto the snow, his cheeks rosy and his breath visible in the cold air. Michael sauntered over, his tail twitching as he flopped down beside his son, his fur dusted with snow.

"Not bad, Gregory," Michael said, ruffling the boy’s hair with his paw-like hand. "You’ve got a good arm. Maybe too good." He pretended to wince. "You’ve bruised my royal pride."

Gregory laughed, leaning against Michael’s side. "You’re not so bad yourself, Dad. For a cat."

Michael gasped in mock offense. "A cat? Gregory, I am an amorphic cat, thank you very much. There’s a galaxy’s worth of difference."

"Sure, sure," Gregory teased, his grin widening.

They lay there for a while, staring up at the sky as snowflakes began to drift lazily down from the clouds. Michael wrapped his tail around Gregory like a blanket, his warmth warding off the chill.

"You know," Michael said softly, "when I was exiled to this planet, I thought I’d lost everything. But then I found you, Gregory. And days like this… they make it all worth it."

Gregory turned to look at him, his eyes shining. "I’m glad you found me, Dad."

The two sat in silence for a moment, enjoying the peaceful snowfall. Then Gregory’s eyes lit up with a new idea. "Hey, let’s build a snowman!"

Michael grinned, springing to his feet. "A snowman? Why stop there? Let’s build a snow castle."

And so they did, their laughter echoing through the snow-covered woods as they worked together to create a fortress worthy of a Crown Prince and his son.

Chapter Text

In the heart of the dense forest, where the towering pines whispered ancient secrets, lived Peter—a unique creature, part bear and part bird. His massive frame was covered in thick, russet fur, but from his shoulders sprouted majestic wings, their feathers shimmering with iridescent hues. Peter was the brother of Michael, a fellow denizen of the woods, though Michael was a creature of more conventional lineage.

As the days grew shorter and the chill of autumn deepened, Peter felt the ancient call of hibernation. Unlike his bear kin, Peter's avian traits added complexity to this instinctual ritual. He needed to prepare a den that catered to both his need for rest and his occasional urge to stretch his wings.

Peter began his preparations by foraging extensively, consuming up to 20,000 calories a day to build the necessary fat reserves for the winter months ahead.
DENALI.ORG
He feasted on ripe berries, succulent fish, and the occasional honey-laden beehive, ensuring he doubled his size to store enough body fat to survive the deep slumber.
WILDLIFESOS.ORG

Next, he sought the perfect denning spot. After days of searching, Peter found a spacious cave nestled against a hillside, its entrance partially concealed by cascading ivy. Inside, the cave opened into a large chamber with a ceiling high enough to accommodate his wingspan. He lined the floor with soft moss, leaves, and downy feathers shed during his pre-hibernation molt, creating a warm and comfortable nest.

As the first snowflakes began to fall, Peter settled into his den. His breathing slowed, and his heart rate decreased, entering a state of torpor. Unlike true hibernation, torpor allowed Peter to awaken occasionally, especially during milder winter days, to stretch his wings and take brief flights above the snow-covered forest. These moments in the crisp, cold air reinvigorated him before he returned to his slumber.

Throughout the winter, Peter's body relied on the fat reserves he had meticulously built, his metabolism slowing to conserve energy. He remained in this state until the first signs of spring, when the forest would beckon him back to full wakefulness.

And so, in the quiet hush of the winter woods, Peter dreamed—of soaring through clear blue skies, of the warm sun on his fur and feathers, and of the adventures that awaited him and his brother Michael in the seasons to come.

Chapter Text

It’s a slow day at noonan’s when Michael pops in, he’s been searching all around this dimensions Gotham for his two favorite rogues, but he hasn’t seen hat of hay of either of them in the usual places they be going to, so he decided to start asking around the best pace he decides to start is a bar
A quaint lookin goth woman is tending the bar, he flops into one of the seats and taps the counter to get her attention
“ excuse me, fine lady, have you seen either of these two gentlemen”, he pauses, pulling out photos. He printed from the dimension traveling machine of this universe’s Jervis and Jonathan
The woman malice as her name tag informs looked down at the photos, scrunching her nose in thought, she left her head, her lips pinched before beginning to speak,” I have not seen either of those people any day of my life”, she says finally and goes back to cleaning cups
Michael’s just about to get up from his seat and continue on his search with a very oddly dressed man suddenly appears next to him ,” hey maly what you doing-hey, I know those guys”, the weirdly dress man says
“ you do, can you tell me where they are?”, Michael questions I hope for smile on his face
“ well… they’re dead”, Michael smile slips from his lips. He takes what he just heard Ian for a moment, and then his eyes start twitching.
“ there what”, he says, simply, his eyes burning with very evident anger
“ they’re dead, but I like friends of yours or something”
Michael takes a deep breath and mother things onto his breath
“ you could fix this Michael all you have to do is make them not dead”, he mumbles to himself. The two other people in the bar are clearly getting uncomfortable by all of this.
Raising a hand which begins to glow he summons for the decaying corpses of two super villains which plot to the floor, they are dressed man’s face twists into a grimace, Michael raises another hand and the corpses begin to shake violently as they decay reverses
Soon Jervis and Jonathan are looking good as new, and was a quick pat to the chest they’re breathing again, Michael pulls the confused rogues into a hug
“ what the fuck is going on?”, Jonathan says in a voice, he quickly realizes wasn’t the one he had before he got his face melted into death,” why am I southern?”
“ oh that doesn’t matter anymore my, now, then let’s go we have a squad to reunite”, Michael says happily as he drags his two favorite guys out of the bar
“ well I guess they’re not dead anymore”, Charlie says it with a shrug, grabbing the mug of beer malice had made for herself and chugging it
The end

Chapter Text

The smell of sizzling burgers and fried dough filled the air at the annual Maple County Fair. Families bustled between booths, kids ran with cotton candy, and in the heart of the fairgrounds stood a long wooden table covered in red-and-white checkered cloth. This was the battleground for the legendary Maple County Pie-Eating Showdown.

This year, the competition had an unexpected challenger—Elliot Graves, a lanky, bespectacled librarian who had never so much as participated in a bake sale, let alone an eating contest. He wasn’t here for the glory; he was here for revenge.

Across the table sat Daryl "The Duke" Peterson, a seven-time champion whose stomach seemed bottomless. He was a local legend, a man who could devour three whole cherry pies before his opponent even finished their first. He leaned back in his chair, smirking.

"Didn't peg you for the competitive type, Graves," Daryl said, cracking his knuckles.

Elliot adjusted his glasses. "I'm not. But my grandmother’s blueberry pie lost to your mother’s last year, and I refuse to let that injustice stand."

Daryl laughed. "So you’re eatin’ for honor? Cute."

The referee—a stout woman with a megaphone—raised her hand. "Alright, folks! The rules are simple! You eat as much pie as you can in ten minutes—hands behind your back! The one who eats the most wins the title of Maple County Pie King!"

A cheer erupted from the crowd. The bell rang.

Elliot took a deep breath and lunged forward, mouth diving into the first pie. Blueberry filling exploded everywhere. His strategy was simple: speed over quantity. If he could eat fast enough, maybe—just maybe—he could overwhelm Daryl before his stomach caught up with him.

Daryl, however, was a seasoned pro. He took his time, chewing methodically, letting his stomach stretch before moving to the next pie. The crowd chanted his name, but to everyone’s shock, Elliot was keeping up.

Five minutes in, Elliot had already finished two and a half pies. Daryl was at three.

Seven minutes in, Elliot felt his stomach protest. His face was sticky with jam, but he could hear his grandmother’s voice in his head:
"Never let a Peterson out-bake a Graves."

At the nine-minute mark, the score was neck-and-neck—Elliot at four pies, Daryl at four and a half. The crowd was screaming.

And then, disaster struck.

Daryl grinned, raised his head, and slammed his face into one final pie. He inhaled it—almost inhumanly fast—as the timer hit zero.

The referee blew her whistle.

Silence.

"AND THE WINNER IS—" she paused dramatically— "ELLIOT GRAVES!"

The crowd exploded.

Elliot blinked in disbelief. "Wait… I won?"

Daryl, sitting back in his chair, burped loudly. "Dang," he muttered. "Shouldn’t have gone for that last pie."

The referee gestured toward the remaining plates. "Daryl, you left half a crust uneaten. Elliot finished his last pie clean."

Elliot wiped his face, dazed. He had actually done it. He had dethroned The Duke.

As he stood to accept his oversized golden fork trophy, his grandmother beamed from the crowd.

"That’s my boy!" she hollered.

And for the first time in his life, Elliot Graves felt like a champion.

Chapter Text

Crowley had never been particularly good at gift-giving. It wasn’t that he didn’t care—quite the opposite, really. But the idea of finding something that perfectly encapsulated his feelings for Aziraphale? A nightmare. And if there was one thing he, a demon, was loath to admit, it was that he wanted—desperately—to get it right.

So, naturally, he procrastinated.

With only a day left before their anniversary (Aziraphale insisted they had one, even if Crowley wasn’t entirely sure which date they were celebrating), he found himself pacing his flat, sunglasses perched on his nose despite the dim lighting.

“What do you get for the angel who has everything?” he muttered.

Books? Too obvious. Wine? Too impersonal. A rare first edition of some obscure novel? Tempting, but Crowley had done that before. He wanted something special. Something that would make Aziraphale do that soft, delighted gasp, the one that made Crowley feel like his heart had been exiled from his ribcage.

Then it hit him.

Aziraphale was always saying Crowley had a beautiful voice. He adored music, loved when Crowley hummed absentmindedly, and melted whenever the demon (usually grumbling and red-faced) sang for him.

So Crowley got to work.

By the time their anniversary dinner rolled around, Aziraphale was beaming, utterly oblivious to Crowley’s nerves. They sat in the bookshop, candles flickering, glasses of wine untouched for now. Aziraphale’s hand was warm where it rested on Crowley’s, and for a moment, Crowley almost chickened out.

But then Aziraphale smiled at him, eyes full of unspoken affection, and Crowley sighed.

“All right, angel,” he muttered, “you better appreciate this.”

He snapped his fingers. The record player in the corner crackled to life. And then, his own voice—clear, rich, and full of a warmth he rarely let himself show—filled the shop.

A love song. One he’d written himself. For him.

Aziraphale’s hands flew to his mouth. His eyes glistened.

“Oh, Crowley,” he breathed.

Crowley cleared his throat, fidgeting. “It’s nothing. Just a—”

But before he could finish, Aziraphale surged forward, arms wrapping around him, holding him as if he were something precious.

“It’s perfect,” Aziraphale whispered.

Crowley let out a shaky breath and melted into the embrace. “Yeah, well,” he murmured, pressing his face into the angel’s curls, “so are you.”

Chapter Text

This universe had proven to be very irritating to Michael, first his two favorite guys were apparently dead and now this
With another furious scream, he punches another vase off of it’s tacky table, paying little notice to the agony screams of the Mitch match couple this home belongs to
he lets out a couple breaths calming down from his fury, looking around his eyes land on Edward and William, his eye twitches a little when he takes in the wedding rings on their fingers, but he gave himself taking a couple more breaths
“ what the fuck is your problem?”, Edward says, flinching a little when Michael pointed him and his husband
“ my problem is your relationship, you too, shouldn’t be together”, Michael took his pointing finger back into a face
“ oh so your homo-“, but William is cut off by Michael beginning to speak again, pointing to the other two people in the room
“ Edward supposed to be with them”, Michael says coldly pointing to his two favorite guys
“ listen it really is a miracle they’re back, and I’m glad about it, but I am not”, but Edward is cut off by a snap of fingers and with that his memories are suddenly rewritten, he shakes his head and looks over to confusion to the man next to him
“ what’s this nobody doing in our house”
“ edd”, William looked over to Michael anger etching on his un masked face,” what did you do to-“, what was another snapper fingers William forgets entirely what he was angry about and walks out of the house confuse
“ now that that’s taken care of, let’s get back on track”, Michael says in triumph, fondling his amulet and looking upon the newly reunited polecule in satisfaction
The end

Chapter Text

Michael had seen humans eat all sorts of things since he arrived on Earth, but there was something about pizza that puzzled him.

For one, it was everywhere. There wasn’t a single corner of the city where he didn’t see a sign for a pizzeria or a delivery driver carrying one of those flat boxes. And yet, no two pizzas ever looked exactly alike—some had odd circular meats, others dripped with a strange golden liquid, and a few were covered in small, spiny plants that humans insisted were food.

One evening, Michael sat at the kitchen table while Jeremy scrolled through his phone. His mongoose husband had settled quite comfortably into human life, but Michael still had a lot to figure out.

“I keep seeing signs for pizza,” Michael said, folding his arms. “Explain it to me.”

Jeremy looked up. “It’s… pizza?”

“Yes, and what is that?” Michael narrowed his eyes. “I’ve seen humans eat it with their hands. Sometimes they fold it. Other times they let it dangle dangerously from their fingers. What’s the purpose? What’s the appeal?”

Jeremy blinked at him, then grinned. “Okay, first of all, pizza doesn’t need a purpose. Second, you’ve never tried it?”

Michael huffed. “Do you think I, a Crown Prince of an entire planet, would waste my time consuming something so—”

Jeremy tapped his phone a few times. “I just ordered a large cheese pizza.”

Michael’s tail flicked. “I wasn’t finished.”

“Trust me, you’ll thank me later.”

Twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang. Jeremy retrieved a warm, cardboard box and set it on the table. The smell was overwhelming—Michael caught hints of something yeasty, something savory, and something divine. His ears twitched.

Jeremy flipped open the lid, revealing a golden, cheesy surface. “Alright, moment of truth.” He grabbed a slice and held it out. “Go on.”

Michael hesitated. He took the slice carefully, watching as the cheese stretched in long, gooey strands. The texture was soft, the weight balanced perfectly between his fingers. He took a tentative bite.

And then another.

And then another.

Jeremy chuckled as Michael devoured the rest of the slice. “Well?”

Michael wiped his mouth, eyes wide. “Why have I not been eating this since the moment I arrived?”

Jeremy laughed. “Told you.”

Michael snatched another slice from the box. “We’re getting more of these. Immediately.”

“Let’s finish this one first.”

“No,” Michael said through a mouthful of pizza. “More. Now.”

Chapter Text

Despite where people may think, Waylon Jones was a perceptive man, and he had been perceiving something was not right in the city for a while now
For one the crime weight had been lowering day by day, more and more roads seemed to be spontaneously, deciding to retire left and right
He poses it a good opportunity for him, put something about the city feels… different like there’s a force or two looming over Gotham
His tail wags in frustration at the oddness of this entire situation, he lets out a grumble deep in his throat and tries to sit back and focus focusing on his dinner again, he just picked up the drumstick. He been eating when a noise catches his attention.
What seems to be the strumming of a Mexican guitar seems to get closer, and soon without warning, his been slammed to the ground, his eyes can only focus on the fox like mask his attacker is wearing before he’s been spinning onto his stomach his snoot held shut between strong hands
“ settle down big fella, struggling will just make it hard harder for you”, the man above him suggests, and despite everything in his brain telling him not to settle down, his body begins to anyway, when his mouth is free to move is when the smell that had been emanating from the man finally registers in his mind
It’s an odd mixture of sense, both unpleasant and incredibly pleasant, and the longer he takes in the smell, the more pleasant he becomes
“ there we go, doesn’t that feel better big guy”, the man still above him, punctuate his words with a very nice feeling rub on Waylon’s head, the beast man lets out a God sound of pleasure at the sensation, his tail is flopping happily
…
Hugo strange is the most stereotypical death trap known to villainy, he hangs precariously by a surprisingly strong woke over a tank containing only one deadly animal, the weapon is crocodile man circles, his elevated prey, Hugo is two pants wedding, the terrified about his in pending death to try any pleading
not let any begging for his life would work he supposed, one of his characters the fat one blows another puff of opium smoke in his face
“ looking at you, I’m starting to know why my brother likes tormenting”, the Irishman says switching the hand and he’s holding his pipe in, and to Hugo’s horror, the hand not holding the pipe begins to shift, and now in the place of a human hand
Is a bear paw, was very sharp clause, he raises it and we’re for definitive strike the ropes keeping the X psychiatrist a loft are cut
Hugo Bailey has time to lay in the water before the crocodile his head between strong jaws, and with a definitive crunch, he knows nothing
Waylon Jones ripped the man’s head from his body and swims up to break the surface, humming delighted when his master pet him for a good job
The end

Chapter Text

It was a mild, golden Sunday morning in Soho, the kind of spring day that practically demanded a picnic, a gentle stroll, or at the very least, tea in the garden with the scent of daffodils and promise in the air. Aziraphale had declared it absolutely imperative that they celebrate Easter properly this year.

Crowley had rolled his eyes, but he didn't say no.

“Humans don’t even know what it’s about anymore,” he muttered, slouching dramatically on the armchair in Aziraphale’s bookshop. “Chocolate eggs, bunny costumes, egg hunts… None of this has anything to do with resurrection or redemption.”

Aziraphale just smiled at him over a tray of freshly baked hot cross buns. “Well, my dear, I think it’s lovely that they find joy in it, regardless. Besides, any excuse for a little indulgence, don’t you think?”

Crowley narrowed his eyes. “You just want an excuse to wear pastels.”

“Well, if you must know, I’ve got a lovely cream waistcoat with embroidered tulips that hasn’t seen the light of day in decades.”

So it was decided. They would celebrate.

The Easter Agenda (as planned by Aziraphale):

Attend a sunrise service (Crowley growled the entire time, especially when a hymn got stuck in his head for the rest of the morning).

Host a small Easter brunch in the bookshop (just the two of them—Aziraphale said he invited others, but somehow all the invites mysteriously went missing).

An egg hunt in St. James’s Park (yes, an actual egg hunt—Crowley refused until Aziraphale said there might be a prize involved).

Feed ducks.

The egg hunt ended up being the highlight.

Aziraphale had spent the better part of the week charming little pastel eggs with tiny miracles: some chirped poems when opened, some contained impossibly fresh truffles, and one held a miniature bottle of 1932 Château d'Yquem. Crowley had laughed when he found that one, cracking the egg open with the ease of someone who’d hunted things before—albeit usually souls, not eggs.

"You're ridiculous," he said fondly, swirling the tiny glass of wine, "but I’ll allow it."

They sat on a tartan blanket under a blooming cherry tree, sharing stolen scones and watching families chase after glittery plastic eggs. Aziraphale looked perfectly content, cheeks pink from the breeze and sun.

Crowley pulled his sunglasses down slightly to peek over them. “Alright, angel. I’ll admit. This doesn’t completely suck.”

Aziraphale beamed at him. “That’s the spirit.”

There was a pause.

Then Aziraphale pulled out a small, golden egg from his coat pocket.

“I saved this one for last,” he said, offering it to Crowley.

Crowley eyed it suspiciously. “Is it going to explode?”

“Open it and see.”

Inside was a tiny sprig of forget-me-nots and a folded slip of paper. Crowley unfolded it with careful fingers.

It said:
“You’re my favorite miracle.”

Crowley didn’t speak for a moment. Then he cleared his throat and muttered, “Bloody sap.”

But he didn’t give the egg back.

And when they returned to the bookshop, Crowley placed it—very subtly—on the highest shelf, just above Aziraphale’s reading nook, where it could catch the morning light.

They spent the evening drinking tea laced with brandy, watching old Easter specials on a fuzzy old television set, Crowley’s legs slung over Aziraphale’s lap, both pretending not to notice the way they’d quietly held hands for most of the day.

Maybe Easter had changed. Maybe the world had too.

But for one angel and one demon, it was still about resurrection. And something very much like redemption.

And also, just a little bit, about chocolate.

Chapter Text

Getting a ship with the easy , it would be getting a crew that would take some more work, fhillip made his way to the first place he could think of that would most definitely contain a vast amount of muscular man
The stench of the gym was sweet ambrosia to the young prince’s nose , his fox ears twitch behind the veil of his human disguise as he looks around the place to see the most choice of males

His eyes land on a very well built, man, his brown skin is glistening with sweat, and his stink has an odd burn to it he Saunders over, purring in appreciation at this fine specimen of the human race
“ you really worked yourself up”, fhillip comments as the man next to him lowers the weight he was holding carefully to the floor, fhillip hands and towel when he gestures for it, he smiles, lustily with the man raises his arm to wipe
“ I think you should go sit down somewhere, you look exhausted”, fhillip put an arm around his prey, his own natural mask seeping into the man’s nostrils, connecting them psychically, the man seems to slump as a sudden wave of exhaustion comes upon him
“ here let me help you”, fhillip lead the man to somewhere private
,,,

fhillip Looks in pride at the first member of his new crew, the bovine man is posing for his captain in master, showing off the thick furry muscle of his body
“ you truly are fine first mate”fhillip comments, growling in pleasure at his first conquest on this planet

Chapter Text

Michael had never been particularly fond of birthdays. On his homeworld, long before exile, royal birthdays had meant stiff banquets, gold-stitched regalia, and speeches far too grand for someone who’d rather be exploring the gardens or climbing the marble latticework of the palace walls. Now, Earth’s quietness suited him better.

Still, Jeremy wouldn’t let the day pass unnoticed.

When Michael woke that morning—stretching languidly in his human guise, dark curls falling into his eyes—the smell of cinnamon and cardamom floated through their small apartment. The soft clatter of pans in the kitchen and the faint hum of Jeremy’s voice brought an easy smile to Michael’s face.

He padded barefoot to the kitchen, the sleeves of his loose shirt falling past his wrists. Jeremy stood by the stove, his short frame sturdy and focused, flipping golden pancakes with the precision of someone who approached cooking like a delicate art form. His copper hair caught the morning light, and when he noticed Michael standing there, his dark eyes brightened.

“Happy birthday, Your Highness,” Jeremy teased gently, setting a plate of pancakes on the counter with a small, satisfied nod.

Michael rolled his eyes, but there was no sting in it. “We agreed—no formalities here.”

“And yet,” Jeremy quipped, sliding into the seat opposite him, “I seem to recall you celebrating my birthday with homemade jam tarts, a surprise picnic, and that ridiculous song you taught me from your planet’s spring festival.”

Michael chuckled softly. “You liked that song.”

“I did. And you’ll like today.”

Breakfast was simple, but thoughtful—pancakes spiced with the flavors Michael missed from home, honey drizzled just how he liked, and hot black tea with a sprig of mint. Afterward, Jeremy pressed a small wrapped box into Michael’s hand.

Inside was a thin silver ring, etched with patterns Michael recognized instantly. The design mimicked the constellations visible from their homeworld’s southern skies. His throat tightened for a moment, but he swallowed around it, blinking down at the gleaming metal.

“I know you don’t miss all of it,” Jeremy said quietly, voice warm, “but maybe just the stars.”

Michael slid the ring onto his finger slowly. “Thank you. I—yes. I miss the stars.”

The day passed easily. They walked through the park together, sharing quiet jokes and stealing bites of each other’s ice cream cones. Gregory, their adopted son, joined them later with a handmade card and a crooked, endearing grin. They ended the evening on the apartment balcony, under the clear spring sky. Earth’s constellations were foreign, but familiar enough to soften the ache.

As Jeremy leaned his head against Michael’s shoulder and Gregory dozed in a blanket nest beside them, Michael let out a slow breath.

Perhaps birthdays weren’t so bad. Not when celebrated like this.

Chapter Text

Grand count, and in his opinion, rightful air, to the throne Gregor spindle name sat upon his captains chair of his interdimensional ship , the ship is being maintained and operated by his army of automaton servants, his daydreaming that the seat he upon right now is the throne of his home world
Alert from the ships communicator snap him from his Kingley fantasies , he grumbles displeasure at the noise,” except the call”, he yells over to the robot in charge of accepting communications
The front window of the ship turns into a screen, which soon shows a face Gregor hadn’t seen in a while
“ well well, if it isn’t one of my exiled nephews, what is pushed you low enough to call on me”, the rabbit man says smugly when he sees the phrase of Peter, looking embarrassed at him over the screen
“ Uncle… I..we am in need of your mechanical expertise”, Peter’s feathers ruffle and what he’s been forced to do,” we would have asked the machines creator, but we have killed him
Gregory let out a chuckle would soon turns into a full laugh , Peter cheeks burn at the sound, “ oh, you little rascals, always so impulsive”, the bunny, man wipes, laughter, induced wetness from his eyes ,” just give me your coordinates, and I’ll be there my sweet nephew”
…
Peter gives the coordinates and hangs up the communicator, he turns to look at his brother who still fiddling uselessly at the pile of scrap that once was a mechanical super criminal
“ I still think you should just necromancy that strange guy”, fhillip says not looking at Peter, he helps an annoyance with another one of his attempts to at least put the scraps into a functional arrangement fails
“ you know, as much as I do even as a head he wouldn’t be cooperative”, the bear were towards his feathers, ruffled in an annoyance at everything he’s had to be put through
“ why do we even need this bucket of bolts?, We already got that sexy goth Twink he should be smart enough.”
“ because we aren’t the only extraterrestrials planning on world domination in this dimension, and we’re going to need robotics to deal with those overzealous space Roombas”

fhillip just rose his eyes and takes another swing at putting the bits of scrap that once were Dave, the ultimate artificial criminal into something that looked close enough to his original state
The end

Chapter Text

Jeremy sat curled up on the couch, his tail twitching with irritation. His left foot—well, paw—was propped up on a soft pillow, bandaged and sore. He glared at it like it had personally betrayed him.

Michael padded into the living room, a warm cup of ginger tea in hand. “Still giving you trouble?” he asked, ears flicking forward with concern.

Jeremy groaned. “It’s a conspiracy. I stubbed it on the dresser twice. The second time it squeaked. Furniture shouldn't squeak.”

Michael grinned, sitting down beside him. “Well, your toe did look a little heroic, saving you from the wrath of the evil dresser like that.”

Jeremy gave him a sidelong look. “Heroic, huh?”

“Absolutely. I mean, most toes just sit there. Yours fought injustice. It deserves a medal.”

Jeremy huffed, but the corners of his mouth twitched. “You're impossible.”

“I’m royally impossible,” Michael said with a wink, setting the tea on the side table and gently picking up Jeremy’s foot. “Let me see.”

Jeremy grumbled but allowed it, his fur puffing up slightly from the attention. Michael unwrapped the bandage with care, inspecting the red, slightly swollen toe.

“No breaks,” he murmured. “Just bruised pride and a little swelling.”

“I’ve got lots of pride,” Jeremy muttered. “Too much to lose to a dresser.”

Michael leaned down and kissed the sore toe lightly. “Then let’s treat it with the honor it deserves.”

Jeremy stared at him, ears burning. “Did you just kiss my toe?”

Michael gave him a straight-faced look. “I’m told it’s a traditional mongoose remedy.”

“That’s not a thing.”

“It is now.”

Jeremy tried to scowl, but it faltered. He exhaled through his nose, and let his head rest on the back of the couch. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“I know,” Michael said, already massaging a salve into Jeremy’s paw with surprising tenderness. “Just try not to battle any more furniture until you're healed.”

“No promises,” Jeremy mumbled, eyes drifting shut. “The dresser knows what it did.”

Michael chuckled softly and leaned in to press a kiss to his forehead. “Then I’ll be ready. Just in case your toe needs backup.”

Chapter Text

Aziraphale: So that’s my plan.
Crowley: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.
Aziraphale: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Crowley: It fucking sucks.
Aziraphale: That’s not constructive criticism.

Aziraphale: I'm incredibly fast at math.
Crowley: Alright, what's 30x17?
Aziraphale: 47
Crowley: That's not even close.
Aziraphale: But it was fast.

Aziraphale: i went through an entire character arc during quarantine
Aziraphale: i became more evil if you’re curious
Crowley: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still!
Aziraphale: i’m going to get worse on purpose

Aziraphale: You look good in that hoodie.
Crowley: You know where else I'd look good?
Aziraphale, zero hesitation: My bed.
Crowley, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

*Crowley comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Aziraphale’s bedroom.*
Aziraphale: Babe, are you.. coming to bed?
Crowley: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a girlfriend.
Crowley: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep*
Aziraphale: ...

Aziraphale: How much did you spend on this date?
Crowley: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.

bee: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.
gabriel: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

bee: This date is boring!
gabriel: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.
bee: Then why did you invite me?
gabriel: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you gabriel I'll do whatever I want!

bee, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often?
gabriel, confused: I mean, this is my house, so yeah.
gabriel: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.
bee: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

gabriel: I actually have a black belt.
bee: In what, karate?
gabriel: No, from Gucci.

gabriel, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.
bee: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!
gabriel, with the tone of someone who is used to bee: Outstanding.
gabriel: This is what I’m talking about people

Chapter Text

The man beyond everything sat in the dark expanse of the darkest dark, around him were glimpses into different levels of this world, the heroes of destiny were on another adventure, usually they would be the center of his curiosity, the twists and turns they go through in the dark worlds are quite entertaining
But the beyond man was thinking of someone different, a large amount of his many eyes were focused on one ant tenna, the game show host/physical manifestation of the personification given to the dreamer television by its children was busy entertaining the new order of its light world physical form, the ghost was greatly appreciating all the wonderful channels. His new television was letting him witness, and Mr. tenna was just happy to be appreciated again
The joy he got from being praised was absolutely adorable, so like many of the others that the man beyond has taken special interest in, he ponders if maybe he should just watch and not touch
“ I probably should… but I won’t”, he says allowed to himself before stretching out one of his tentacles and slipping it into the fabric of the world
…
A yawn that sounds cacophonous the in the television world signal is that the new special watcher of TV time was calling it a night, this was more emphasized by the bright lights of the studio shutting off, leaving the building/land mass in soft darkness
“ well Mike, that was a real fruitful performance, can’t wait to outdo myself tomorrow”, the television head man says to himself loosening his tie and summoning a chair to sit back into, the person who he was speaking to did not respond like every time he spoke to him
Well, he didn’t at first
“ I can’t wait… either”, a voice crackles from the television‘s own personal microphone

“ huh.. Mike you’re more talkative than usual”, Mr tenna had a little bit of worry in his voice, in the back of his memory Drive, he thought he recognized that voice, it kind of sounded like something a mailman talk to him about
“ yes the mailman, I know him quite well”, the voice that most likely wasn’t Mike seem to respond to the show hosts thoughts
“ wait did you?”
But he’s cut off by the sudden feeling of something like a hand rubbing up his torrs , but his antenna didn’t pick up the electrical signature of any other person in the room
“ you know, I drove him mad… do you want to know how I did it?”, the hands seem to multiply and creep up and up his body, until he feels to hands press to his screen face
“ it doesn’t matter what you say you’re going to know… whether you want… or not”, another hand presses, a single finger in between where eyes would be if the television man had any
Terrible crackling pain strikes him like lightning, too a television receiver disc, the way he sees the world shifts and cracks into new form, suddenly he sees with eyes he did not have previously, everything seems as it usually should be, he’s in the main game showroom, the lights are dimmed, he’s still sitting in a chair
Everything seems , until he looks at where the audience usually sits
And he sees them , thousands of eyes, old, looking at him, it would be flattering, but

He doesn’t like this attention , there’s just too many eyes
He tries to open his mouth to , and that’s when he finds in exchange for eyes

he’s lost his mouth
…
The man beyond laughs, his disjointed giggle , one of his many hands wipes under an eye socket, dripping, black liquid like tears, the television is still trying to make noise without a mouth, he’s failing, but he’s trying the man beyond will give him props for his perseverance
He has had his fun. I did now his time to return to what his destined heroes have gotten into now.
The many eyes leave they’re watching of the personal hell he has given antenna and move to witness the great battle between the heroes and the enchanted King of flower Mountain

Chapter Text

Michael : You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean?
Jeremy: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
Michael : but what’s the first worst thing?
*Awkward pause*
Jeremy: Michael , they...they weren’t always orphans.
Michael , trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know!
Jeremy: How?
Michael : How what?
Jeremy: How could they be worse?
Michael : They couldn’t, I lied.
Michael : Go to Hell
Jeremy, tearing up: I wish I could

Jeremy: We have a problem.
Michael: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.
Michael: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.
Jeremy: This is a lie.
Jeremy: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.
Jeremy: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.Jeremy: Two brooooos!
Michael: Chillin' in a hot tub!
Jeremy: Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay!
Michael:
Jeremy:
Michael: *tearing up*
Jeremy: Babe, c'mon...
Michael: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING.
Jeremy: Babe...

Jeremy: I like your new pants!
Michael: Thanks, they were 50% off!
Jeremy: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*
Michael: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.
Jeremy: Thats’s… not what I meant.
Michael: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Jeremy.
Jeremy: I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.
Michael: What- how?
Jeremy: You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”
Jeremy: Know why I called you in here?
Michael: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.
Jeremy: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

Chapter Text

I wish to step back for a moment from this series of transformations and pairing to another
this epidemic of rubber hose starts in an animation studio closed for the night, The moonlight shines through the windows one particular drawing seems to glow in the moonlight, unlike the others
The drawing begins to shift in shape , what was once an illustration of a regular house cat becomes bipedal and reaches out of the page, The fluffy tail it once sported has shifted into a slithering serpent
When the toon has completely left It’s birth page. It lets out a giggle, it’s oddly shaped eyes dart to an open window end but before it can slip out into the night, if he was a noise
The living cartoon slips into the shadows out of sight, someone is here withno one should be
And there’s someone who’s here isn’t someone that has a job at the studio, crazy quilt, self titled master, art Thief, had broken into this place to steal ink for something he was working on, The sack held behind his back, Klinks with parts of drawing ink, he’s just about to grab the pot sitting on the desk in front of him when something gooey, yet scaly wraps around his leg
And Yanks, The sack of inkpots Falls to the ground, some shatter on impact staining the man also on the ground, Pierre had barely gotten finished, swiping, the ink blocking his vision, when is gaze was taken completely my eyes peering down at him, spiraling cacophony of color hide his full attention
The tune used his serpent tail grab one of the notch shattered pots of ink, he spit into it, causing it to turn into a rainbow of colors, and begins to pour
,,,
“ and don’t forget to give her a fat rack. She really wants some hot chest balloons”, Michael instructs the poodle artist drawing his sisters, requested physical body, The dog that was once human deed as he was commanded
“ hate when he gets to me, tell him to give me a giant bulge”, The voice of One of Michael’s younger brothers speaks to him from behind the veil between the third dimension and the toon dimension
“ I will be patient”, Michael says under his breath
“ oh brother I can’t wait to meet baby doll, I know we’re going to have so much fun playing together”, Elizabeth is jumping for joy, Quite literally getting a good airtime for plumbing into the ground and making a credo when she impacts which bounces back into flatland with her standing on it perfectly fine
“ I am sure you can’t but you won’t have to wait much longer sister”, Michael glances over to the drawing, which was finished with one last swipe of paint, The mostly rabbit girl, with links like features, blinks her eyes after a moment, which is both hands to either side of the paper she’s drawn on and pushes her way in into the third dimension
Michael helps her up from her position face first on the floor , and they both laugh happily, accompanied by the voices of the other two siblings behind the barrier between toon and 3D
,,,
Sometime later elsewhere jervis Will is getting finished washing his face, he lifts his head up from the spray, rubs curiously at the wispy hair across his lip, he chuckles a little on the side of it, reminds him of rabbit whiskers, but he pushes it to the back of his mind. He must not have shaved that well, like he thought he did.

“ i’ll have a go add it again in the morning”, he says to himself walking away from his cell sink, he doesn’t notice that his reflection doesn’t move with him, or that it smiles with sharper teeth than his own
The end

Chapter Text

jervis: Yeah, a partner sounds nice, but a supreme enemy you can make out with in secret sometimes sounds a lot more hardcore.

jervis: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

jervis: If God’s ever been mad at anything I’ve ever said, he hasn’t done shit about it.
jervis: So he either doesn’t care or he’s a coward.

Jonathan: My dad died when I was little so whenever someone jokes about fucking my mom I’ll pretend to be really sincere and say some shit like “Glad to see she’s moving on, my dad’s death hit her pretty hard.” Then watch them absolutely fumble trying to figure out a response to that statement.
Jonathan: Update, she got a new partner I can no longer make the joke.

Jonathan, on the phone: So no head?
Jonathan: *Throws phone and breaks skateboard*

Jonathan: Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."

Edward: I see the red flags, I acknowledge that they're there, and then I completely ignore them.

Edward: Look, do I consider myself attractive? Yes. But would I have sex with my clone? Also yes.

Edward: You know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun.
Edward: That's why I own TEN guns.
Edward: Just in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.

michael: I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!

michael: Plants are basically the ideal friends. They are quiet, friendly, and easy to please. All they need is a little water and fresh earth, and they are perfectly happy to lie there all day in the sun. And they don’t make increasingly awful life choices, or hide their relationships. They have never, as far as I know, fucked a bee.

michael: I refuse to apologize for being weird or off-putting. That’s actually your problem. I’m having a fantastic time!

jeremy: I'm yet to properly begin my history notes BUT!!!! I got 100% on a quiz about european countries so who's the REAL winner here.

jeremy: I'm yet to properly begin my history notes BUT!!!! I got 100% on a quiz about european countries so who's the REAL winner here.

jeremy: What makes a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
jeremy: A stab wound.

Chapter Text

Jervis had noticed a lot of different things about himself when he looked into the mirror that morning, one that was the most noticed was his decrease in size
it wasn’t a big decrease, admittedly he wasn’t the tallest of men, but he wasn’t debilitating short either, but today he could see less of himself in the mirror
He was just about to start musing on this slide increase of his ear size when a tickling in his nose caused him to get out a hard sneeze, he rubbed away and he snot, and when he looked up, he decreased again in size, he opened his mouth to let out a little gasp, which became bigger when he noticed a change in the shape of his front teeth

“ what the hell is going on”, he said or at least he tried to say, but in place of the curse word in that bit of speech, he let out a sharp quick sound like a dog toy being squeezed, he put his hands in front of his mouth in surprise of what came out of it
“ now now Mr. Tetch, I thought the doctor told you that it’s good for mental health not to say such naughty words”, a disembody voice rings through the room, jervis eyes search around yet. See nothing, but then do see something. When suddenly a fluffy purple paw materializes right in front of his face
“ what the * squeak*”, jervis mothers under his breath before he can open his mouth too say anything else the paw tickles under his nose, and he lets out another sneeze, when he opens his eyes again the paw is gone. He looks down to see he’s shrunk again, his hands have also transformed, when normal human hands once were little mouse hands now are, he’s just about to open his mouth to start screaming, when something fluffy rubs against his nose again

Sneeze
It continues, not letting him notice that his arms have transformed to match his new, golden fur completely covers each arm like a sleeve
Sneeze
His feet and legs completely transform as well, there’s a lamp on his tailbone, which spontaneously sprouts with another
Sneeze
It ripped through his uniform pants, which reform to accommodate it like it was always a part of him, it’s pink and floppy, and stands up straight when he lets out another
Sneeze
His whole torso is now covered in golden fur, the tale that was causing him this fit pulls away, but he immediately has a moment to look at the changes. What upon him when two paws begin tickling at his nose, causing him to take a deep breath for really
Sneeze

It causes him to fall on his fluffy butt, the transformation was complete. His New ears flattened in confusion at everything that is just taken place to him, he looks at his teeth to see both front seat or elongated, he gets up to his new feet, it’s surprisingly easy to stand on them despite their new formation, his nose twitches in surprise I didn’t know appearance
The mirror had lowered in height to let him see himself clear, he was assembled a cartoon mouse, his golden fur was fluffy, his uniform had changed to show off his fluffy arms and legs
“ what the * squeak* did you do”, he gets no verbal response to his question instead, a heavenly sent hits his nostrils and he turns to see a comically large wheel of cheese in the middle of the room, without thinking, he zips over to it and sinks his teeth into the cheesy goodness, is everybody his mind reshapes to accept his new appearance as something he’s always had
The new memories his head was similar to those he had as a human, but with a change of him no longer remembering himself as a human, he remembered himself as a sentient rodent living in a world of sentient animals, there was hijinks and misadventures, and that’s how the world always was now to him
And see what would be the way everyone remembered it, if Michael had any say in it, which he did, and his say was very important
Michael materialized fully visible, but still unnoticed by the steel gorging jervis, he walked right through the bars, splitting for a little bit into multiple then we shaving to a singular upright feline, he looked around the dingy Asylum and thought it was very bland, he pulled out his ink pot from the side of his flank, like it was a pocket, he uncorked it and splashed a little bit of the ink onto the bars of the cell. He was just him.
It’s squash and stretched into new, it looked the same for the most part, except for the giant exercise wheel and water dispenser
Michael admired his handiwork and turned to go to another cell to continue
The end

Chapter Text

Wilson: Dorothy, say aluminum again. It's the entire source of my serotonin during these trying times.
Dorothy: *sigh* Only for you, buddy. Alyoouminnieeum

Wilson: Which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen?
Dorothy: Neither.
Dorothy: Because it's twelve.

Wilson: Though I admit I don’t know much about you, I am feeling pretty confident in my assessment that you are probably some sort of sick deadly fuck.
Dorothy: Who told you my secret?

Lewis: *shatters a window and climbs through it*
Lewis: *turns around and helps Wilson through it* Breaking and entering is wrong Wilson.
Wilson: Okay

Lewis: You have Crayons?
Wilson: Yes, I have—
Lewis: You're— how old are you?
Wilson: YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS

Wilson: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.
Wilson: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.
Lewis: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?
Wilson: Ominous positivity.

Wilson: You've got to act tough, Lenoir! Show 'em you can't be pushed around! Show 'em they can't mess with you!
Lenoir: Right. Yes. Tough. Got it.
Lenoir, standing up on their stool and slamming their hands down on the bar: I'LL TAKE A CHOCOLATE MILK.

Wilson: If Lenoir says they’ll be ready in five minutes, they will be.
Wilson: No need to remind them every fifteen minutes about it.

Wilson: Do dragons fart fire?
Lenoir: I don't know.
Wilson: I thought you went to college.

Lewis: *Stubs He toe* FUCK!
William: Mind your language!
Lewis: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
William:…
Lewis: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes

Lewis: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao
William: What did you do op?
Lewis: A MISTAKE

William: William! My face is on fire!
Lewis: uncle, William! Are you ok?!
William: Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.
Lewis: But your face is on fire.
William: Yes. It's much faster than shaving.

Lenore: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
William, drinking toast: Why do you say that

Lenore and William are doing something absurdly dangerous*
Lenore: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!
William, deadpan: Well that's encouraging.

Lenore: What are your goals?
William: To pet all the dogs.
Lenore: No, fitness goals.
William: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

Dorothy: I prevented a murder today.
William: Really? How’d you do that?
Dorothy: self control

Dorothy: Do you think you’d actually notice if someone didn’t cast a shadow? Or if their limbs were just slightly too long? Or if they had just a little too many teeth? like how many times have you passed Something on the street and you just didn’t Notice It?
William: Stay woke monsterfuckers ur love is out there!!!!!
Dorothy: Yknow what? Not my point at all in any way whatsoever, but I’m glad I could be an inspiration.

Dorothy: Someone will die.
William: Of fun

Chapter Text

At a speed dating event*
elizabeth: Oh wow, people are really shallow.
sid: Consider it a background check. For example: Do you have a death certificate?
elizabeth: *Checks their pulse* Sorry, not yet.
sid: Good, I'm not fucking a ghost again.
sid: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...
elizabeth: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?
sid: Holy moly-
sid: Remember, elizabeth, don't do anything I wouldn't do.
elizabeth: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

james: Are you trying to seduce me?
peter: Why, are you seducible?
peter: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing.
james: Are you a software update? because not right now.
peter, to james: We had a date!
peter: *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*

Fhillip: Orm is playing hard to get.
Fhillip: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.
Fhillip: Do you love me?
Orm: We’re literally married.
Fhillip: Yeah, but as friends or—
Orm: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.
Fhillip: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.
Orm: ...
Orm: You mean ring bearER, right?
Fhillip: ...
Orm: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

Vincent: BE A BETTER PERSON!
William: WHY?!
Vincent: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!
Vincent: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.
William: What do you want to be for Halloween?
Vincent: Yours.
William:
William: …yeah, that would be pretty scary.
stuart, trying to flirt with louis: I think both of our families suck.
louis: Okay, but if your not gay then why are you always holding my hand and kissing me and telling me I’m your boyfriend?
stuart: Dude- Its satire!
louis: THAT'S NOT WHAT SATIRE MEANS!
louis: The first time I saw you, you stole my heart.
stuart: But I'm a kleptomaniac, so that doesn't mean anything.

Chapter Text

A lot of people considered Sydney debris a lot of different things, someone thought he was lucky, others thought he was unlucky
The man himself didn’t really know what to think about himself, but right now he was starting to think he was very unluckily lucky
He was lucky to beg a loyal smoke show of a Dame, he was unlucky that that smoke show was one Elizabeth lapear, the craziest and sexiest(and her opinion) only daughter of the serpent king
The sneaky little strings of fate drew them together, one breezy August morning, Sydney had just gotten out of prison, and her decided to turn his life around, he will be a law abiding man for the rest of his life
He just had to tell that to his old crime buddies
his nervous little fingers tapped on the bar counter, they be here any moment, and no matter how many times he was decided what he was going to say in his head, he always imagined it ending in physical pain, or worse,* Maybe if I get them a little drunk they’ll take it better… no Sammy is an angry drunk*, his nervous little tapping, grows faster as he keeps running into mental dead ends on how to get out of this Alive and with most of his limbs intact, when the light tapping on his shoulder, shake him
“ don’t shoot me I swear I’ll keep my lips sealed about anything we did!”, he swivels around in his bar seat, instead of coming face to pistol like he was expecting, the lovely creature staring back at him. Millie blinked surprise on her beautiful face
“ I was just gonna ask you what is so shaky about”, the accent she speaks in is unclear but understandable, she’s dressed fancy for lowlife alcohol hole like this, her strawberry hair is done up in a bun, tied with a bow with pom-poms
“ oh… I probably shouldn’t say nothing… but well… I’m trying to leave a less than savory career behind”, he whispers as quietly as he can the woman’s ear, she blanks, surprised that this revelation that’s such a… pitiful, looking man was living the criminal life
“ well if you’re so jumpy about that, maybe you should leave town”
“ believe me, lady I’ve half of mine to just get up and go for the hills right now”, he puts a hand over his eyes questioning how his life went so Wong, he’s about to consider maybe it was that time he didn’t say no to smoking as a teenager, when the people he was dreading seeing coming right on Q
“ what do you know boys Sydney
is out of the slammer”, the skinny sleaze ball mobster in the front of the group comments, he lets out a disgusting person when he eyes the beautiful woman next to the panicking little man
“ and who is this fine lady”, he grabs one of her delicate hands and only gets a second of to skin contact before it’s pulled away very hard
“ names, Elizabeth, and sorry, buddy you’re not my type”, she splashes the martini placed into her hand not held fast to her chest
“ we’ll see about that”, Elizabeth continues to blame us at the saucy wink over the way as the sleazy lead gangster looks back to the stew shaking Sydney
“ so… why did you call us up pal?”
“ well I… I was considering maybe.. leaving… crime… please don’t hurt me. I swear I won’t tell anyone, not the cops, not the bat, nobody I-“, but he’s cut off by the muscular member of the group of thugs, grabbing him by his collar
“ you says that, but how can we believe yous after that little Batman fab?”, the sleazy gangster Cox hip, smiling a threat at Sydney, who feels his bladder, start to portray him as a little trickle of yellow fear began to run down his leg
“ nothing… I guess we can’t believe you, Frankie you know what to do”, Sydney is suddenly held by one less hand than before, he’s close his eyes waiting for the blast of pain across his face
There is pain, but it’s when he folds to the wood floor of the bar, he opens his eyes to see the group of gangsters. He used to work with all standing perfectly still at attention, he jumps at a delicate hand on your shoulder, but looks to see Elizabeth was looking down at him with concern
“ sorry for the close call, I don’t know why you ever got shoulder to shoulder with those slime balls”, all around her everyone in the bar is completely still, though I was as a shrunk into points, Sydney blinks once, and then another trickle of fear piss run down his leg
“ how about I walk you back home.. sid… I can call you that right”, she smiles her teeth, have a cat like sharpness to them, Sydney feels his cheeks heat up
“ sure.. only if I can call you, Lizzie”, he tries to be flirty too, but cringes at the awkwardness
The beautiful woman giggles at his attempt, taking his arm and hers and walking him out of the bar
“ how about you go ahead to my car, it’s the pink little baby somewhere over there”, she points to a line of cars Sydney goes on ahead, “ I’ll be right there, I just gotta take care of some business”
She pokes her head back into the place, stairs daggers at the group of thugs Sydney used to work with and says one simple word
“ kill”, she closes the bar door just as the beginnings of a shootout start and skips over to her car
…
Sydney only realizes he’s gone from the pot to the fryer when she shows him her “special room”
He tries his best to focus where he’s instructed, but as much as he tries to focus on more visually appealing parts of the full length poster, he can’t keep his eyes away from the garage grease paint on the clown, pinup girls smiling face, the memories of painted smiles, decreasing his arousal adds more spankings with the naughty stick to tonight bit of fun
End

Chapter Text

Michael , turning to Jervis : Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.
Michael : I’m doing what I can to jog your memory.
Jervis : It’s jogging, I guess. Its tiddies are jiggling a little.
Michael : Nice.
Jervis : What’s sexting?
Michael : I'm not having this conversation with you.

Michael : There. How do I look?
Jonathan : Like a cheap French harlot.
Michael : French?!
Jonathan : Michael , what do you call people you go out with but don’t try to sleep with?
Michael : ...People?
Jonathan : I know every song to ever exist it doesn't matter if it's from the past, present or the future.
Michael : Oh yeah? Then continue this.
Michael : I don't cook I don't clean-
Jonathan : So let me tell you how I got this ring.
Jonathan & Michael : .....
Jonathan & Michael : GOBBLE ME, SWALLOW ME-

Edd : look Michael , I'm not slut shaming you but...
Edd : Actually yeah, I'm TOTALLY slut shaming you.
Michael : Dom or sub?
Edd : I guess Domino's, since I don't go to Subway that much. Don't see why you'd put them in the same category though.

Edd : Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?
Jon: Milfs.
Mic : Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.
Edd : Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???
Jervis : Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties.
Jervis : I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.
Mic : Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.
Edd : WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—
Edd : I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!
Jervis : Oh, is it not mom in late fouries?
Jon: What? No! It isn't!
Jervis : THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!
Mic : Jervis ...
Jervis : THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!
Mic : I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.
Jervis : EDD , DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!
Edd : The word milf has been ruined for me.
Jon: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!
Mic : Y'all are dumbasses.

Chapter Text

Jervis : Sorry, I'm late to the party. I've been doing things.
Jonathan, entering in an unbuttoned shirt: I got caught up doing things too.
Michael: Wow, Jervis was late too! What a coincidence!
Michael: I like your top, Jervis !
Jonathan: I have a name, you know.
Jervis : *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.
Jonathan: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.
Jervis : But they said not to touch the masterpieces.
Jonathan: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall.
Michael, on a walkie talkie: This is Michael, those idiots are fucking around in the East wing again.

Edd, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?
Michael: Oswald's in the kitchen.
Edd: *yawns*
Oswald: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.
Edd: Then you must be exhuasted.
Michael: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.
Oswald: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close.
Edd, blushing: Okay.
Michael: It's fucking summer.

Chapter Text

Michael: That’s a crazy idea. Insane. It doesn’t make sense.
Vincent: You’ll do it?
Michael: Of course.
Vincent: I trusted you!
Michael: Why?
Vincent: I found a note in one of my old word .docs that said Note to self: Get revenge on Michael.
Vincent: Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for.
Vincent: But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it.
Michael: Hmm... I don't know what you were supposed to get revenge for, either.
Vincent: I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though.
Michael: Well, whatever I did, I guess I deserved it.
Vincent: Let that possibly be a lesson to you.

Elizabeth: Oh look who got laid last night.
Vincent: That’s right chumps, missionary accomplished!
Elizabeth: We’re having a moment, aren’t we?
Vincent: If by 'a moment' you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.
Vincent, turning to Elizabeth: Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.
Vincent, after Elizabeth gives him the puppy dog eyes:… i’m just joking-you’re adorable sweetheart
Elizabeth: smiles

Elizabeth: So I have made the decision to trust you.
Michael: A horrible decision, really.
Michael: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. "I work really hard until my inevitable death" brain. You've got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brain's might.
Elizabeth: I LIKE OREOS AND PUSSY-
Elizabeth, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.
Michael: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

Chapter Text

Sometimes it’s easy for you to forget that someone you’re dating is a cat person
But life has ways of reminding you
Like right now is Jeremy casually sits on his couch watching TV next to his boyfriend Michael, casually put an arm around Michael shoulder and absentmindedly begins rubbing
It takes him a couple moments to notice the purring from the other man, but he does when he feels Michael lean into his touch when it comes close to his neck
Things go from cute to weird when Michael begins, licking his hand
,,,
Sydney wakes up to something he’s grown accustomed to
His girlfriend Elizabeth lying on his chest, looking at him intensely waiting for the moment when he woke, she let her ears go to their natural state, but everything else about her is completely human
Everything except for the noise that she makes when he rubs the back of her neck, that is entirely feline
He knows when to start up when her nails sharpen and the sound of her stomach growling reminds them both why she’s here in the first place
“ you do know you can make yourself breakfast, right”, he says lightly pushing her off of his chest as he moves to get up from bed
“ yeah but I like when you do it better”, she stretches cat like before getting up from bed herself, “ plus what I want for breakfast requires high understanding of using a stove, which I do not have”
“Liz I know for a fact you can use” but he cuts himself off, figuring it’s better to not question her and continues on his way to the kitchen
end

Chapter Text

Michael: What time is it?
Jervis : I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out
Jervis : *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*
Jonathan : WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING
Jervis : It’s 2 am
Michael and Jervis sitting in jail together*
Jervis : So who should we call?
Michael: I’d call Jonathan , but I feel safer in jail
Michael: Hey, Jervis ? Can I get some dating advice?
Jervis : Just because I’m with Jonathan doesn’t mean I know how I did it

Michael: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.
Edd, amazed: Wow...
Oswald, to Edd: Well what does that mean?
Edd: I don't know.
Edd, to Michael: What does that mean?
Michael: Edd, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?
Edd: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later
Michael: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Oswald.
Michael(playing couples therapist): Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Edd?
Edd: … No.
Oswald: I do!
Michael: I know, Oswald.
Oswald: I’m sad!
Michael: I know, Oswald.

Ivy: Harly, I am questioning your sanity...
Michael : I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.
The squad is trying to con some random guy
Ivy: Um, Harly, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family?
Harly: We need money!
Ivy: You're scamming him?
Harly: I was thinking more like flat- out stealing from him?
Ivy: What?!No way!
Harly: Why not? We already stole Michael !
Michael : Hey guys
Ivy: No, we didn't. Michael can think and talk for themself, they can do whatever they want!
Michael : I wanna steal
Ivy: Do you think different paints have different tastes?
Harly: They do.
Michael : ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

Chapter Text

“ and then uncle Greg had to wear the cone for a week”, Michael finishes before going into another bed of laughter accompanied by his husband, Jeremy
“ so you got any funny family stories Jerry bear”, he says, after some deep breathing to catch his breath from all the laughing
“Not * cough*, family, but you know how I used to work for lax corp”
“ yeah”, Michael says, leaning in with a curious smile
“ well this one time
…
Yeah, we have been running through the hole of his place of employment like a terrified mouse, his arm carried a stack of papers. He was instructed by the science to bring to their boss.
He takes deep breaths to gather his strength when he finally makes it too the man in questions of door, he’s just about to raise his hand to knock when a muffled voice catches his attention from inside the room, it’s not saying any words, but it sounds like
Moaning

It would be the right thing he thinks to knock anywhere, just in case Mr. luthor having a company of a different short than usual
But the curiosity is too tempting… and besides, he wasn’t doing the right thing in the first place working for Mr luthor

He reaches out of hand slightly, opening the door enough to get a good enough look, what he sees nearly causes him to gasp, but he clamps his mouth shut before it can exit

The lex luthor appeared to be humping an effigy of Superman… well actually it was a body pillow
And it appeared, he was getting close to release from the violence of the thrusting

Jeremy is pulled from his inability to look away by the phone on Mr. luthor Desk beginning to ring, he gets up from his bench position and backs away from the door holding the paper is more tightly to his chest, he tries to fight off the urge to run away. He still has a job to do after all.
…
“I never told anyone what I saw… that was terrified he was gonna fire me… or worse” he chuckles uncomfortably
“ don’t be scared, babe, you got big strong me to protect you”, Jeremy smile softly when he’s poured into a side hug
“ yeah… tell me did anyone else in your family have to wear a cone?”, Michael put down his drink and tap his chain and thought.
“ well there was that one time we had to fix some fleas off of fhillip”
Jeremy settled into the couch and the still occurring side hug as his husband rambles on
End

Chapter Text

Tenna: You look good in that hoodie.
SpamTon: You know where else I'd look good?
Tenna, zero hesitation: My bed.
SpamTon, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?
SpamTon: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...
Tenna: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?
SpamTon: Holy moly-
SpamTon: I like your new pants!
Tenna: Thanks, they were 50% off!
SpamTon: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*
Tenna: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.
SpamTon: Thats’s… not what I meant.
Tenna: That’s a terrible way to run a business, SpamTon.

Angel: Wow, Alistair, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.
Alistair: We literally slept together yesterday.
Angel: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.
Alistair: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.
Angel: Hi, I’m ‘things’.
Alistair: Look, last night was a mistake.
Angel: A sexy mistake.
Alistair: No, just a regular mistake

Aziraphale: I love them both, but how do I propose to two people?
Crowley: Two different restaurants, one person at each restaurant. Twice the dessert, twice the applause.
Aziraphale: Won’t people think it’s weird if there is a third person just sitting there, though?
Crowley: I saw someone feed their pet peacock crème brûlée from their mouth at the French place on the corner last week: I think faux third-wheeling at an engagement is the least of your worries.
Aziraphale: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!
Crowley: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?
Aziraphale: I don't know, surprise me!
Aziraphale: We have a problem.
Crowley: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them

Chapter Text

Vincent: Kissing can burns 26 calories in a minute, wanna work-out with me? ;)
Tockmen: Are saying that I'm fat?
Vincent: No that's not what I meant I-
Vincent: I’m in love with you.
Tockmen: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.
Vincent: I know.
Tockmen: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-
Vincent: You have to apologize to them clocky.
Tockmen: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

David: The stars are so beautiful...
Wilson: They're just giant balls of gas.
David: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-
Wilson: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.
David: Oh...
David: You’re not jealous, are you?
Wilson: No!
David: Good, ‘cause I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful.
Dave: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks!
Wilson: Why would I do that?
Dave: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free!

Sydney: I love you.
Elizabeth: I know.
Sydney: You're supposed to say it back!
Elizabeth: I'm not Han Solo.
Elizabeth: Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation?
Sydney: All the time.
Elizabeth: Then you should be used to it by now
Sydney: You know, there’s something weird going on with your face?
Elizabeth: What?
Sydney: You’re smiling! I didn’t know you could do that?

Chapter Text

Tenna: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.
Spam: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.
Tenna: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??
Spam: Is it working?
Spam: As top in this relationship, I think we should-
Tenna: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.
Spam: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.
Tenna: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?
Spam: Seize the dick.

Jevil, throwing their head into Seam's lap: Tell me I'm pretty pretty!
Seam, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.
Seam: The stars are so beautiful...
Jevil: They're just giant balls of gas gas.
Seam: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-
Jevil: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you you.
Seam: Oh...
Seam: Okay, but if your not gay then why are you always holding my hand and kissing me and telling me I’m your boyfriend?
Jevil: Dude dude- Its satire!
Seam: THAT'S NOT WHAT SATIRE MEANS!

Susie: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Noel: Okay.
Susie: And make out during the scary parts.
Noel: Th-
Noel: The scary parts.
Noel: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Noel, to Susie: We had a date!
Noel: *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*
Noel: Susie is playing hard to get.
Noel: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

Chapter Text

so what exactly does this thing do?”, spamton questions looking at the seemingly normal looking television, remote that manifested in his hand that wasn’t holding the telephone receiver
“ it does exactly what you think it does… it lets you change things about the TV”, The Voice on the other end sound completely different than the last time. The little email got a call, this voice purrs some of the words
“ so this is gonna let me mine screw him”, spam raised an eyebrow, smiling a little bit at the idea of making that sexy show host do and be anything he wants
“ yes… though I wouldn’t use those exact words… and I would suggest you look through the channel menu first.,, I left some wonderfully enticing options”, and with a chuckle the phone hangs up, the living email looks down at the deceivingly, simple looking remote, especially the little button marked with the initials of the channel menu
…
Nervousness had hit spam the moment he walked into his costar’s dressing room, the man hadn’t noticed him yet his cable tail wagging freely as he examined himself in the mirror, he sprayed himself a little with some cleaning solution and swiped at a smudge on his screen face
The email takes a deep breath, presses the button he was suggested to use, the TV man suddenly stops in his face cleaning his arms fall to his side and his antenna stand completely straight, in front of spamton is a selection window that manifested from seemingly nowhere
“ I’m curious about all these, but I guess so start with… the pet channel”, he uses the remote to navigate to that option. Click and confirm, causing the window to disappear into pixie nonexistence
a spark of electricity jumps between the bulbs of tenna’s antenna, the spam email who was waiting for something to happen jumps when the TV host falls to his knees, full force, and then just sit there, the light sound of dog like painting
“… hear a boy… come over here”,spam says finally when his shock subsides, the TV head turns to him there’s a confused look on his mouth, which changed to excitement when he registers the site to the sound
Like the excited puppy, the TV is his mind had been reprogrammed into behaving has, tenna walked over on hands and knees, sitting at 10 in front of a much smaller man
“ that’s a good boy”,spam pets the top of the television head, causing him to make dog like panting harder than last time, suddenly he shifts forward, giving the other man a little affectionate lick on the cheek
The licks don’t stay little, and soon the email was laughing from the tickling success turns to struggling before he gives a sharp order
“ no back sit”, the crt obeyed, sitting back into place whimpering at the scolding
“ don’t worry I ain’t mad at you puppy, you were just excited to see your master, I understand… here let me put you on a different channel. How about that?”,spam click the channel menu button again, causing the TV darker to snap back to being on 2 feet in the position he took last time that button was pressed
looking through the options, he has a feeling listening to some tunes would be quite pleasurable
With the selection of the music channel, another electricity goes between the antenna, with the blinking of nonexistent eyes, the TV looks down at himself and discussed at his clothing choice
“ this just won’t do.. excuse me, darling.. I need to step into something more comfortable”, tenna grab the front outfit and with a single yank all of it comes off, clearly revealing something quite… nice underneath
Spam looks in quite obvious lust at the tight fitting red cocktail dress. The TV is now draped in, a smell catches his nose, and he looks up just in time for a cloud of cigarette smoke to be blown in his phrase, after he wave away enough to get a clear view again, he sees the TV take another long inhale from the cigarette that seemed to manifest with his clothing change
“ so Mr. manager… why are you here to see little old me?”, tenna wiggles, his hips teasingly.
“ oh (angel soft towels) above”, spamton coughs, trying to take a deep breath to gain control of his advertising tick again
“ oh I’m just here… congratulate my favorite entertainer for today’s little show”, the email must use all the acting talent he’s accumulated to get into the role of this personality seems to associate him with
The TV giggles flirty, letting himself be pushed onto the dressing room couch and climbed like a sexy teasing tree
Spamton places that remote back into his inventory before diving into a night of indulging in his favorite channel of television
..
Spamton walked into his house to see his TV set onto his second favorite channel
The housework channel
The CRT was gussied up in a simple housewife dress dusting some furniture that seemed already pretty finally dusted, he turns in excitement when he hears the door open, giving his hubby complete site of the pink apron, tied snug to his body
“ you got (dinner and a show.) ready for me (gourmet honey)”, the spam email looks his househusband up and down, so distracted by all of that plump artificial flesh to notice he’s lit his advertising tic slip out
“ of course I have hubby, you know how much I can’t help myself but slave over hot stove for you”, if the television had visible eyes, they’d be batting seductively, but the saucy smile he gave was seductive enough, he lit out a soft moan when the man he believed in his rewritten mind to be his husband, gave him a smack on the ass on his way to the kitchen
“ god, I love you”, spam says with the deepest sincerity when his eyes land on the absolute feast laid before him on the dining table, it consisted of TV dinner staples, but with a homemade twist that was utterly mouthwatering
“ we’re just going to have to wait a second darling, I need to get into position”, that last word is said with a growl and with the sound of a slide whistle, the TV shrinks enough to fit under the table, the email wait at the moment, then tries getting his grow on with a sudden tightness around his groin causes him to choke
Needless to say, the feast is completely forgotten as he’s completely engrossed with the show part of dinner and a show

Chapter Text

Greg: Do you have a superpower?
Guy Gardner: Yep! It’s hindsight.
Greg: …that’s not going to help us.
Guy Gardner: Yes, I see that now.
Greg: Do you ever wonder why you’re still single?
Guy Gardner, eating mayonnaise straight out of the jar with a spoon: Yeah… I mean, I’m perfect! Who wouldn’t want to date me?
Greg, sighing: I can name a few people…
Greg: If this plan goes down the drain, where should we regroup?
Guy Gardner: The afterlife, I guess.

David: I prevented a murder today.
Wilson: Really? That’s amazing! How did you do that?
David: Self-control.
David: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Wilson: Yeah. Great food, but no atmosphere
Wilson: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why David made me get tested.

Vincent: You know, there’s something weird going on with your face?
Temple: What?
Vincent: You’re smiling! I didn’t know you could do that?
Vincent: How do you type so fast?
Temple: Anxiety.
Temple: BE A BETTER PERSON!
Vincent: WHY?!
Temple: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN’T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!

Chapter Text

It was quiet on the perpetually, snowy outpost of Cryo seven … two quiet, some may say
One of those some was the xcellent (xpendable) Green Lantern mark 2 otherwise just known as xlg, who was patrolling as Lookout (and bait) for for the automaton thief who was snatching construction bots from the outpost
“ cryo-mission log number 10: still no side of the thief going to do a couple more rounds then go back to the rendezvous point, see when the others have seen”, xgl says in a voice he hopes sounds tough before looking around the snowy expanse suspiciously
He’s only hover forward a little bit when a noise catches his attention, it’s a voice

“ well aren’t you just an adorable little piece of technology?”, the robotic lantern is taken by surprise, not only by the sudden voice, but also by being called adorable, his naturally green face is peppered with a darker stripe in the place where nose would be, he looks up to see who is speaking
There’s a humanoid male sitting on a tree branch , he’s in a fluffy coat with multiple arms sleeves occupied by his multiple arms, two sets to be more exact, he smiles down at xgl, the automaton can tell its a smile from his eyes seeing as the humanoid is sitting upside down on the branch

Suddenly, the humanoid disappear disappears from, one moment he was there the next not, and then he’s in front of the artificial lantern which illicits a squeak of surprise, and a giggle from the humanoid
“ if you wouldn’t mind, could I get a name for that cute little face of yours?”, the multi armed creature inquires, giggling some more at the darkening blush his continued flirtatious words are causing
“ well-I am designated excellent Green Lantern mark two, but you may call me” but xgl isn’t interrupted by the spider creature beginning to speak again
“ well my dear little lantern it was nice to meet you, but I should be off. I have a very special, in the emperor does not like the missions he gives out to be completed late.. but I suppose that won’t matter soon when I get into his inner circle”, but the robotic lantern stop paying attention to what is being said when one of the things he mentioned, clicks in his artificial mind
“ wait… you work for the evil emperor.. then that means.. you are the guy who’s been bot napping those construction bots”, the spider creature, merely smiles at the accusing finger being pointed at him

“ I am… and seeing as you are Green Lantern, I suppose we must be enemies.. shame that.. but I do wish to give you one last bit of affection”, with both sets of arms he grabs the Green Lantern using it moment of open mouth surprise he sticks his tongue into the robots, artificial mouth cavity, and allows one of his golden spiders crawl into xgl, the robotic landing is taken too much with surprise at this action to try and spit out the invading element which nestles into is in a workings without detection
“ don’t worry little lantern I won’t be the one to crush you”, he pauses to drop the robot onto the snowy ground below before raising one of his hands and snapping his fingers
“ these big strong, bot is going to do it for me”, he crackles evilly as a particularly hauling construction bot emerges from the woods, it’s clearly following some different programming from the golden shine of its visual sensors, in the panic of a lot of things happening, such as the rest of the lanterns sent to investigate the outpost coming to investigate that said noise that came from the robotic lantern almost getting crushed, the spider creature uncloaked his ship and rose up on a web string that lowered from it

“ goodbye for now little lantern.. I’m sure we’ll meet again”, Gregor began another bout of evil laughing as he flew away from the snow planet outpost to inform the annoying little emperor he had to be working for of his success
…
Most lanterns that stay oa would be asleep by now, and xgl would be one of them if I were for all these thoughts running through his processes, he was really bummed about letting that bot napper get away, and the great himself sparked many conflicting feelings in the artificial being
“ come on close your eyes and try to get some sleep mode hours… stupid sexy spider”
“ little Lanter… come to me”, a voice suddenly echoes quietly in xgl’s mind who looks around the dark room
“ what.. who’s there, show yourself!”, no matter how much he looks the lantern sees nothing but what’s usually in his charging quarters
“Come to me, your master commands you”, with those much clear words, a sudden pain rings through xgl, he lets out artificial breaths, and we lift his head. His eyes shine golden as he begins to get off of his charging port.
“ and I will do as my master commands”, those words come easy to him, his prime directive has been shifted very much, now that he minds, because he can’t

Gregor smiled in triumph when that cute little lantern came to him as he was commanded, the robot hovers before it’s new master, little lines of gold wrapped around its mostly green body, stemming from a golden bite mark on what would be a neck on a more flesh creature

“ now that you know who’s in charge, how about let’s show the rest of this building”, Gregory looks over to one of the walls and walks over casually, he holds up one of his hands in which is another one of his golden spiders which leaps onto the wall and sinks. It’s fangs into the solid light structure, strings of gold begin to emanate from the mark

Gregory begin another bout of evil laughter soon joined by his little servant, but they are quickly interrupted by the lantern who is designated to keep an eye on the ship docking area who had been commanded to smash his face onto a wall until unconsciousness
He just fell unconscious from the wall smashing
End for now~

Chapter Text

Wilson: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.
Jervis:
Jervis: I'm gonna tell them.
William: Don't you dare.
Jervis: I'm gonna eat the chicken breasts!
Wilson, snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack.
William, deadpanning at Wilson: Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.
William: What did Jervis do this time?
Wilson: More like WHO did Jervis do this time?

The squad is trying to con some random guy
Jervis : Um, William , why are you pretending I'm this guy's family?
William : We need money!
Jervis : You're scamming him?
William : I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him?
Jervis : What?! No way!
William : Why not? We already stole Willson!
Willson: Hey guys
Jervis : No, we didn't. Willson can think and talk for themself, they can do whatever they want!
Willson: I wanna steal
Jervis : In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
William : Wasn't Willson with you?
Willson: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
Jervis : What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
William : Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Willson: Smad.

Chapter Text

Most of the lanterns staying on oa during its night cycle would be given the luxury of sleep
But not win they were apparently under attack, Which the blaring alert noises told guy Gardner they were, his constructed your Mabs were not doing a lot to block out the annoying sound
” you sure the alert system ain’t on the fritz because we’ve been walking around here for hours and haven’t seen no intruders”, guy yells over the stool blaring alarm to the other human lantern
“ if the alarms blaring, there’s an intruder, that’s the first thing you learned home base defense training guy”, hal Jordan says Like the rulebook Following Boy Scout he is, Gardner just rolls his eyes, he winces when he feels something bite him, he brushes it off probably just a Space mosquito or something, he feels a little bit grateful that hal dragged him to his space disease vaccination appointment
“ still no sign of any intruders, maybe we weren’t looking too hard, Gardner I want you to circle back and if you find anything suspicious contact me, I’ll go on ahead” Gardner gives a half hearted salute and chuckles to himself when he’s left his devices
“ sure will Jordi… fucking Boy Scout”, Mumbles under his breath, starting to walk back down the hall, Unaware of the invisible, certifies, watching him from the ceiling it’s scampers silently to follow hal
..
“ queen Iolande it’s good to see you’re taking this. It’s a lot of serious as I am.”, hal voice shakes the royal alien from her careful scanning of her surroundings, she turns around with a soft smile
“ please hal there were no need to be formal with me, we are equal as a fellow are not”, the human man smile, sheepishly at these words
“ anyways have you seen anything odd on your lookout”
“ not a lot now, but the one thing I have noticed is quite concerning”, she lives up her in your hand, projecting a screen
“ I just can’t seem to get into contact with xgl, I can pick up his ring signature, but I just can’t seem to tune into his communicator”, the screen shows a list of communicator channels, almost all of the lanterns on oa are shown on the list, all except for one
“ the intruder must be that robot snap, but if he got xgl, then why is he still hanging around?
“ because hal Jordan i’m here for a lot more things than simple snacking”, a voice greatly mispronounces his name, both lanterns look to see someone standing higher above them, his white cape flows in the space wind, he jumps from his perch landing gracefully in front of the Green Lanterns
“ who are you and why are you here?”, hal says, raising his ring hand, preparing for any attack.
“ you may call me, Gregor, and I am here for many reason… one of them being your distraction”, the multi armed intruder, pulls two swords from their from their sheaves, luckily both agents manifest shields just at the right time
“ oh do you need back up from your little princess Comrade… but I was informed you usually like to do one on one.. I suppose I’m going to have to test that theory”, another one of his hands snaps his finger fingers, and suddenly Iolande demanifests her shield, looking over how she’s that she has a confused look on her face
“ what’s happening? Why can’t I move?”, she notices the spiderweb of yellow strings manifesting from her ring, which has what it looks like bite marks on the band.
“ that’s a little trick I can do on wonderful pieces of technology, and that little drink, my dear is technology”, Gregory laughs, backing away from the lanterns
“ now I don’t believe you worthy of being destroyed by my hands, so I think I’ll leave your destruction to to my lanterns.. the big and the little one
He starts another bout of laughter using all of his arms to flap his cape like wings propeller him into the air, revealing sanding just behind him was
“Xgl, quick blast this cape wearing creep”, Hal pleads with the robot lantern as he puts up another shield to block the blasts from the hijacked princess
“ my master has ordered your… and I shall do my master’s will”, the reprogrammed lantern begins blasting at the human as well as his master laughs and and flies back into the building
…
“ stupid alarm why is it still going off? That’s clearly no one here.”, guy Gardner punches the wall with is not ring hand, he shakes the appendage in pain some moments later
“ I wouldn’t be so sure of that Gardner”, a voice pauses him when he was just about to start walking again, it’s odd that he can hear his voice because he could’ve sworn the blaming alarms would mask such a sultry whisper voice, and then he realizes the alarms aren’t going off anymore
“ who’s out there?… show yourself… that’s an order from a Green Lantern”, he looks around wildly, holding his ring, laughed to shoot anyone that comes into sight, when something does he can’t seem to
“ I could’ve sworn I charged the stupid thing”, he’s just about to slap it a little when he realizes he can’t move,” what’s going on here?”
“ look at me and I’ll tell you”, he moves the one thing he can his head, when his eyes catch a look at the other males
“ I… your eyes”
“ they’re beautiful aren’t they?”, all gardener can focus on either the multiple set of glowing spiraling eyes, the ripping pools of gold keep him just standing and staring
“ how about you take a closer look”, at that instruction, his legs begin to move, but the realization they can do that again doesn’t come to his mind… nothing but those eyes are on his mind
“ that’s it nice and close to me, give me one of your hands”, the hypnotized lantern does as he is commanded, and his trans breaks with the blooming of pain on his palm
“ what the hell?, What did you do?”, he’s back in control of all of his limbs. He’s shaking his head wildly to clear the fog, the multi armed humanoid in front of him chuckles as he licks the tip of the claw dagger, he used to cut gardeners his hand
“ yummy… it’ll taste much better when we meet again you feisty thing”, Gardner is just about to start blasting when the creature suddenly disappear disappears
“ what the hell is going on here?”
…
“ Come on xgl you gotta fight whatever but this guy is put in you, you’re not some on command killing machine your Green Lantern” G'nort bags the artificial range, who keeps struggling under him
“ release me you beast,my master has commanded hal Jordan’s destruction, and my masters command is my prime directive”, the canine Ranger whimpers at his fellow Rangers continued assertion that he needed to be the object of hal Jordan’s death
“ no it’s not you’re private directive is to protect and serve”, G'nort pauses for a moment wrestling through his vest, pulling out a bit of paper, “ say it says it right here”, he points in desperation at the bit of text on the paper that says just that, but it’s something else that the unlucky lantern also pulled out that catches the androids site receptors
“ I… I am a Green Lantern”, xgl‘s optics turned back to their usual green, as the spiderweb of yellow were tracks back into the bite mark
“ thank goodness you’re back to your senses”, the dog man gets up from sitting on his fellow lantern and pull the robot into a tight hug, in the swift moment, he drops the piece of paper and the photograph he grabbed with it, it has hal Jordan and the rookies he’s taken under his ring, including xgl

“ really… the power of friendship snaps you from my wondrous control… really”, a very angry and confused voice draws the two rookie lanterns from their hug, G'nort put the smaller lantern behind him trying to stand brave in front of the interloper
“ listen if you’re the guy you did that that’s my buddy you in for a world to hurt you hear me”, he tries not flinch at the laughter that illicit from the levitating
“ oh my goddess… you’re serious”, Gregor continues to laugh what is interrupted before he can stop again just say some more insults to the pathetic mortal beast that dare threaten him, The smell of burning webbing catches his nose, and he turns his head to see that a bit of his cape is smoldering, was green energy
“ how about you come down and fight me like a man yeah Multi armed freak”, guy. Gardner is panting wildly from all the running he did, his ring still glows from him, blasting it
“ oh, I would but.. I think I need to go.. I will destroy you some other time it Jordan”, he waves casually to the human lantern as he levitates over to his uncloaked Ship and begins warping away
“ OK, one of you explain to me who the fuck that was and what the fuck is going on”, Gardner points at his fellow lanterns, who look amongst each other, most shrugging
…

“What do you mean he still alive?”, Despero yells in anger, Gregore only frowns deeper
“ it is as I said emperor Despero, it seems the great wills of green lanterns are as formidable as you said.. especially when they helped with the power of friendship, I guess”, he whispers that last part to himself
“ but do not read any longer my emperor, for my own personal reasons, I snuck onto oa have been achieved, and soon Gardner and that cute little robot Will be serving m-us but mostly you my emperor”, he corrects himself and slumps a little in relief when it seems Despero didn’t catch his almost slip up
“ yes, well, you’ve achieved something, but if you fail at this big plan you have you will face the consequences”, The purple, alien raises a meaty fist in warning before hanging up on the call
“ oh but my dear emperor, it’s you who will be facing consequences… for you have dared see I the great Gregor as a mirror hitman to order around… but soon you’ll be ordering you around”
Gregory starts on another bout of laughter relishing in the mental image of having that purple tyrant, bowing before his greatness
End

Chapter Text

Steve: BE A BETTER PERSON!
Diana: WHY?!
Steve: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!
Steve: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?
Diana: ...Have you never taken a shower before?
Steve: Diana, you love me, right?
Diana: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

Selena: I have an idea.
Bruce: A good one or one that will get us arrested?
Selena: I’m having salad for dinner!
Bruce:
Selena: Well, fruit salad.
Selena: Actually, it’s mostly grapes.
Bruce:
Selena: Okay, it’s all grapes.
Selena: Fermented grapes.
Selena:
Bruce:
Selena: It’s wine.
Selena: I’m having wine for dinner.
Selena: I wanna be a knight!
Bruce, a knight: What the fuck do you want this shit for? I kill people, all right? Their blood is on my hands! Every night, when I go to sleep, I see their FUCKING faces staring at me! Their families weep, and I FEEL NOTHING! I’M DEAD INSIDE!
Selena: Man, I want some of that in my life!

Richard: You're my dream, Barbara...
Barbara: No I'm not. Shut up!
Richard: I never said what kind of dream, though.
Richard: You fucking nightmare.
Richard: Remember, if you die in the simulation-
Barbara: Yeah, yeah, I know. If you die in the simulation, you die in real life.
Richard: What!? No! You just need to reset the simulation with the termnal! What is WRONG with you!?
Richard: Wait, people actually tell their crushes that they like them?
Barbara: Well, what to you do, Richard?
Richard: I just die. What kind of question is that?

Chapter Text

so what is exactly you wanted to show me”, Eddie inquired, walking, close behind his much taller cohost
“ well, you’re going to know soon because”, The other man pauses, stopping in his tracks in front of a really big door, ” we’re here”, two sets of a man’s arms gesture to the big door, which he pushes open after taking a deep breath

The inside of the room is dark, only illuminated from the light from the hallway, stemming from the open door. They just went through, Eddie can hear the noise of many legs screwing around the room, he looks over to MOD to verbalize his confusion when he sees the man has collapsed onto the floor, he’s usually break glasses completely dark
“Mod, oh my angel are you all right?”, he rushes over to the man, shaking his limp frame, his panic grows more and more until something catches his attention
“ I do apologize for that, but I had to, so I could see you in my true body”, The voice of his cohost echoes somewhere close to him from the darkness, “ mod where are you?
“ oh, silly me you don’t have special eyes like I, you can’t see a thing in here, right.. One moment, please”, That’s the sound of a singular clap, and Edward hast to shoot his eyes from the sudden flood of light in the room
When his eyes adjust the light, he sees many odd things, some he recognizes like the teaming mass of clips screwing around the room doing different tasks, all the command to the most noticeable thing in the room
“Mod.. is that you?”, the creature that shares many similarities with mod is different in many ways, much larger, and wider for one, and a lot more legs, but it’s him Edward knows… he doesn’t know why he knows he just does
“ yes it’s me… the real Me… you’re probably wondering why I’m showing you this… well… I want to ask, ask you to help me with something”, the giant man grows more nervous with each string of words that come out of his mouth
“ What is that you need help with.. partner~”, the flirtation in his tone brings a blush to the much bigger man’s cheeks
“ well I was thinking of creating more clips, these ones would be assigned to help you with anything you needed”
“ that’s very kind of you, so how do I help with that?”, anything he has an idea when another blush spreads on his cohost cheeks.
“ well”
…
They’re both panting in exhaustion, Edward still had his arms wrapped around the squishy mass of mod’s egg sack, the giant man’s wings twitch in exhaustion
“ thank you… for helping me with this”, he runs a little bit when his hole is exited
“ no problem… so when can we do this again?”, Eddie chuckles at the spluttering this comment illicits.
“ you want.. oh my goodness.. well, I mean it was quite an enjoyable experience”, the giant ant centaur begins, rubbing his hands together deep in thought
“ I’m gonna need a lot of clips to help me with my work aren’t I.. and you did say there were many ways to create a clip”
“ I suppose you’re right.. but you have to help me with laying this first collateral, all right”, mod has all of his fist clenched. Two of them are on his hips, and he’s looking as seriously as he can at his cohost
“ all right don’t blow a fuse big guy, I’ll help”, he gives a little pat to the only bit of skin he can reach on his giant partner, the sensation on the exact causes the much bigger man to grunt a little
End

Chapter Text

Tenna walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Spamton, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.
Spamton, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)
Spamton: Hey, about that love letter you sent me-
Tenna: *blushes* What are your thoughts?
Spamton: The fourth sentence-
Tenna: Yeah, that’s where I got really emotional and I-
Spamton: It’s “you’re” not “your”.
Spamton: Stop doing that.
Tenna: Stop doing what?
Spamton: Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you

Angel : So you like cats?
Alistair: Yeah.
Angel : *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*
Alistair: Talk dirty to me~
Angel : Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high.
Alistair: Wha-
Angel : The economy is in shambles.
Angel : Are you ready to commit?
Alistair: Like, a crime or a relationship?

Crowley: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.
aziraphale: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.
Crowley: But you’re always acting stupid?
aziraphale: ...
aziraphale: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.
aziraphale: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
Crowley: I wrote you a poem.
aziraphale, already crying: You did?
Crowley: *Laughs* Babe, you had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing—
aziraphale: We’re married.

Chapter Text

Edd: come on (sweet screen), you gotta believe me, it’s Me Edward
Mod(his arms crossed, not looking at the little creature that reminds him so much of his salesman): I know you’re not him… you smell is all wrong
The TV darker continues to speak but the email, suddenly realize something… he doesn’t smell like he did in his golden days with mod… he hasn’t been wearing his cologne in… he doesn’t know how long.. but he still has it… thanks
He wants us through his disheveled coat and pulls out a little spray bottle for one of the pockets, he’s just finished spritzing himself when model leans down to say something to him face-to-face, the words fall dead when his nose picks up something… familiar
Mod(breathing heavily): what… that smell?
he can’t help him himself he presses his nose into Eddie‘s feather chest still moist from the cologne, he’s practically snorting the frequent liquid
Eddie(trying and failing to push the pheromone drunk show host off of him): easy (good dog training), I know what you’re excited bu-
But he’s cut off by being grabbed so mod can sniff him better
…
Later when mod isn’t squishing him against his face to get away from the addicting cologne still wafting from the spam email, he’s squishing him against his chest and babbling love drunk nonsense
Mod:oh Eddie, it really is you.. my love… my salesman
he pauses to take a hard inhale of the cologne, muddling his senses, but he’s seeing with such clarity now.. a tiny brunette in his arms isn’t some sort of horrid creature.. it’s.. it’s
Mod(moaning): my mate
He falls forward, panting and drooling all over the smaller man, who at this point had given in to being an object of adoration.. he thinks Maybe he may have sprayed himself a little too hard.
“ well what’s done is done” he thinks to himself
Eddie( petting the overly aroused redhead): that’s a good boy, you’re just a (dog treats) in heat from seeing his mate again ain’t ya
The filthy words mixed with the pheromone sent only served to cloud the TV hosts mind even more, he doesn’t have a tail to wag in excitement, put his squishy fat abdomen serves as a good replacement, it twitches a little as another egg is settled into place in his egg sack, he whimpers at the idea of his eggs being fertilized by his salesman again
Edward chuckles at the mess of a television before him, he grants when the pathetic things licking reaches his crotch
“ God, I’ve missed this”, the spam email think to himself as a television star puts on a quite pleasurable performance for his private audience
End

Chapter Text

Tenna: The stars are so beautiful...
Spamton: They're just giant balls of gas.
Tenna: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-
Spamton: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.
Tenna: Oh..
Tenna: I’m in love with you.
Spamton: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.
Tenna: I know.
Spamton: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-
Spamton: Talk dirty to me~
Tenna: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high.
Spamton: Wha-
Tenna: The economy is in shambles.

Tenna: I am 41 Cheetos tall!
Spamton: Why were you measuring yourself in Cheetos?
Tenna: We were out of Doritos...
Tenna: Excuse me, Spamton, but have you ever been arrested?
Spamton: Yeah. How could you tell?
Tenna: I was gonna say it's illegal to be that cute, but now I'm curious.
Spamton: Aggravated assault.
Tenna: Sorry I just rear-ended you, Spamton... but I just hate you so fucking much!
Tenna: You flirt and kiss and for what? Sex!? Love??? Pathetic!
Spamton: To level my Charisma stat!
Tenna: Ah, a gamer. You may pass.

Spamton: How many kids do you have?
Tenna: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?
Spamton: Tenna was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.
Tenna: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.
Spamton: Tenna, you ate a chair.
Spamton: I'm a reverse necromancer.
Tenna: Isn't that just killing people?
Spamton: Ah, technicality.

Chapter Text

Michael could sense it.. so deep it bypassed straight into his atoms
He could sense his uncle was up to some Fuckery
Some Fuckery he couldn’t risk spreading to his is stomping ground
“ Jeremy Darling… I’m going to have to miss the anniversary dinner… I have some family business to take care of”
“ what”, Jeremy says it’s still being the middle of the night, but his husband mealie lead turned, dramatically the bad ass coat He’s now wearing wrestling with his movement.
,,
Michael is waiting stoically for the intergalactic taxi, he washes through his bag to check if he has everything
dampener cuffs, check
Some bug spray check
And finally, a necklace of peppermint leaf
“ hopefully they did a system reset on the bot.. otherwise things might get… complicated… hopefully they’re not too attached”, he mumbles to himself, putting the peppermint necklace back in the bag is the hovering taxi pulls up
“ take me straight to the Green Lantern whole world. My God fell.. I heard they have a spider infestation”,
“ oh are you like an exterminator or something?”, the taxi boy asks Michael tries to keep a serious face as he was born.
“ you could say that”, he put some sunglasses on and gives a smug smile to the very confused taxi boy

Chapter Text

Jervis, on a random band name generator: Oooo! They Might Be Depressed Horses! That about sums up my friend group.
Jervis: Pros and cons of dating me.
Jervis: Pros. You'll be the cute one.
Jervis: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-
Jervis: I’m the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.

Jonathan: I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke
Jonathan: My dad died when I was little so whenever someone jokes about fucking my mom I’ll pretend to be really sincere and say some shit like “Glad to see she’s moving on, my dad’s death hit her pretty hard.” Then watch them absolutely fumble trying to figure out a response to that statement.
Jonathan: Update, she got a new partner I can no longer make the joke.
Jonathan: I'm not superstitious... But I am a little stitious.

Edd : I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.
Edd : With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later
Edd : Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT.

Chapter Text

Aziraphale: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Crowley: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
Aziraphale: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God
Aziraphale, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!
Crowley: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.
Aziraphale: Okay, help me please!
Crowley: Got two words for you.
Aziraphale: I bet they won't be helpful.
Crowley: Your problem.
Aziraphale: I was right
Crowley: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives.
Aziraphale: I wake up at 4:30 AM every day to train.
Crowley: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives.
Aziraphale walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Crowley, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.
Crowley, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)
Crowley: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
Aziraphale: Wow. They sound stupid.
Crowley: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.
Aziraphale: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”
Crowley: I guess you’re right. Hey Aziraphale, I love you.
Aziraphale: See! Just say that!
Crowley: Holy fucking shit.
Aziraphale: If that flies over their head then, sorry Crowley, but they're too dumb for you.
Crowley: Aziraphale.

Chapter Text

Tenna: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY]
Spamton: What's that?
Tenna: Remorse code.
Spamton: I'm even angrier now.
Tenna: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?
Spamton: Oh, I’m always running
Spamton: The question is from what
Tenna: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you
Spamton: 10 times 0 is still 0 though
Tenna: Jokes on you, I can't do math

Tenna: Pros and cons of dating me.
Tenna: Pros. You'll be the cute one.
Tenna: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-
Tenna, on the phone: So no head?
Tenna: *Throws phone and breaks skateboard*
Tenna: Yeah, a partner sounds nice, but a supreme enemy you can make out with in secret sometimes sounds a lot more hardcore.

Spamton: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them
Spamton: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.
Spamton: I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!

Chapter Text

Tenna: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY]
Spamton: What's that?
Tenna: Remorse code.
Spamton: I'm even angrier now.
Tenna: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?
Spamton: Oh, I’m always running
Spamton: The question is from what
Tenna: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you
Spamton: 10 times 0 is still 0 though
Tenna: Jokes on you, I can't do math

Tenna: Pros and cons of dating me.
Tenna: Pros. You'll be the cute one.
Tenna: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-
Tenna, on the phone: So no head?
Tenna: *Throws phone and breaks skateboard*
Tenna: Yeah, a partner sounds nice, but a supreme enemy you can make out with in secret sometimes sounds a lot more hardcore.
Spamton: I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!

Chapter Text

jervis: This is a terrible idea.
jonath: All of our ideas are terrible.
ed: But this one is especially terrible.
jervis: Let's do it anyway.

jervis: I'm going to do something stupid.
jonath: When are you not?
jervis: I've made a huge mistake.
jonath: What did you do this time?
jervis: I'm not sure, but I have a feeling it involves fire.

jervis: I set the toaster on fire.
jonath: How?
jervis: I don't know, but it's still burning.
jervis: I have a question.
jonath: I have an answer.
ed: I have concerns.
jervis: Nobody asked you, ed
elizabeth: I would die for you.
Michael: That's a bit extreme, but I appreciate the sentiment.
elizabeth: No, I mean it. I would literally die.

elizabeth: I'm going to do something reckless.
Michael: When are you not?
Jeremy: I'll get the first aid kit.
elizabeth: I would die for you.
Michael: That's a bit extreme, but I appreciate the sentiment.
elizabeth: No, I mean it. I would literally die.

elizabeth: I'm going to do something reckless.
Michael: When are you not?
Jeremy: I'll get the first aid kit.
elizabeth: I'm not saying I'm responsible, but I'm not not saying it either.
Michael: That's basically admitting it.
Jeremy: I'm calling the police.

Chapter Text

Gregor: well seeing as you’re going to be here for a while, how about I get you something to drink?(he walks over to a thing that resembles a fridge created by aliens and stares at it intensely until it opens automatically.), I got kryptonian sunny D, some human sodas, some purple stuff, spiders,m-
Guy Gardner(changed to a wall): spiders
Gregor: spiders it is then
Guy tries to stop him from doing it, but it’s too late. He’s already pouring the spiders.
…
The son: I have multiple pronouns
He violently ripped himself apart, and those parts quickly generate their own bodies
The group of creatures that once was the son(speaking in unison): because I’m multiple people
…
December(through tears): why?.. why did you make me hurt them?
William: oh dear child, you must know that hurt is necessary to find the comfort of paradise
The son(or actually the creature that makes up his tail): yeah kid hurt/comfort is a major tag in this story
William(glaring at his creation)
The son(looking ashamed of thamself): oh sorry, creator

Chapter Text

Guy Gardner had been trying to stop thinking about that multi armed freak for weeks now, but no matter what he just couldn’t stop feeling his presence in his head
“ at least I ain’t alone and that”, Mom goes to himself, taking another drink of coffee and another glance at the artificial lantern trying as much as he is to stop feeling… him inside of their heads
“ well at least we won’t be seeing him in person again… hopefully”, they both avert eye contact from each other, they’re just about to leave each other’s presents when something catches their attention
“ well I’m sorry to say boys… but he will be coming into your physical vicinity as soon enough”, both of them snapped to the direction they heard the voice rings, locked, and loaded to shoot, the oddly dressed person they see has his arms up placatingly
“ Simmerdown, fellas, I’m not here to cause any mischief.. I’m here to help you with your little… spider problem”, they loosen up a little bit, but quickly tense when the man takes off his hat to reveal her face that looks so much like the one they see when they close their eyes
“ I know the family resemblance is offputting, but believe me… looks and blood are the only thing I share with my Uncle”, the note of distain he puts into the familiar term only damn the tenseness a tiny bit
“ so you don’t like him… you got any other reason we should trust you”, Gardner inquires the stranger clears his throat and begins to speak
“ well like I said as an open… my Uncle’s on his way back here… and he intends to take you both with him when he leaves again… I’m going to try and help that not happen”, the human and robot lantern, share a look of horror
“ but why?.. I mean I get me.. even if it’s disgusting to think about… but why Mr. Gardner”, xgl is the first to lower his ring, he grips at himself, looking like he’s about to cry tears he can’t really
“ well you know that little scratch she gave you”
“ yeah.. how do you know about it”
“ well the claw came from… was for a Lycanthrope… and you are very much infected”, this comment is a thing that makes gardener lower his ring, he looks at the hand that was scratched, the scar on it made him shutter like every time he looked at it
“ if that’s true then.. why haven’t I turned yet?”, Gardner looks up to the man.
“ well it was an alien like a rope so the only way you change was would be exposure to the moon of the planet the creature that claw came from.. and I suspect my Uncle in terms to come here and expose you to it.. most likely with some sort of moon rock he will tie around your neck like you are a dog… it will be modifying for you.. but hilarious for him”
“ so… what’s the plan for that not to happen?”, xgl was padding, guarding on the back, trying to come both of them down from the notion of seeing that horrible creature in the flesh again.
“ well.. I’m going to need you to wear something”
…
“ so I understand the cuffs and the bug spray… but what with these leaf necklaces?”, gardener questions fiddling a bit with the mentioned greenery around his neck.
“ it’s mint and it’s meant to keep him away from you.. he can’t stand the smell.. so keep it on both of you”, Michael rubs the bridge of his nose getting quite tired from all the questions
“ wait I thought the thing that watered off vampires was garlic”
“ for the last time you idiot dog”, Michael turns angrily to the canine lantern, “ my uncle is not a real vampire.. he barely style himself as one.”, Michael takes a deep breath, knowing that being angry would only hamper the flawless nature of his wonderful plan.
“ now then look at me give you all the footnotes, first”, Michael passes to point at Gardner,” he will stay here being protected by the robot and the dog, second”, he pauses again now pointing in between himself, hal Jordan, and queen Iolande, “ good green shoes, and the princess will be accompanying me to kick my Uncle’s ass on his ship… if he’s there… we’ll still be kicking some ass if he is on, but it’ll be metal ass”,
“ but what if that monster tries to get into my head again?”,xgl is nervously ringing his hands.
“ well that won’t be an issue seeing as you’ve been cleared out of that bug he put in your system, I’m sure you won’t fall for the old monkey arm, grab and puke. A spider into your mouth trick again”
“ the… what in my system?”, the light smile on Michael’s face drops instantly.
“ you didn’t know what was in your system… did you even get it checked”, he raises an eyebrow glaring intensely at the bucket of boat
“ no… we thought his Will sort of.. completely got rid of the infection”, G'nort smiles nervously when the glare was turned to him
“ no.. it didn’t.. merely deactivated it.. and it can be reactivated.. whenever… my Uncle.. wants”, with each word, he stepped closer to the dog
“ but he could just override it with the power of friendship.. right”, the canine alien is using all of his strength to stay upright under the glare being given to him by Michael
“ most likely my Uncle is going to reactivate. It is power over that bucket of bolts,”, pauses to point back at xlg,” when he right here in this room, and your dear, your mechanical friend, he isn’t going to hear you’re pleading of friendship, over, binary, careless, whispers, and the implanted visions of robot on spider intercourse beamed into his processors”
“ he’s gonna beam what into me”, the robot lantern questions in horror
“ so I suggest if you’re your little buddy starts acting weird.. you shoot him”
“ but he’s my friend”
“ well he’s not going to be very friendly when he’s commanded to kill you!”, he leans forward for this, finally causing the canine to fall flat on his ass, Michael shadow doing over him soon walks away as he walks to Gardner
“ listen guy… don’t be a little bitch if my uncle shows up… fight for your humanity… this may be the last time you have”, he gives a solemn pat to gardener shoulder, who puffs up, trying to look brave
“ yeah, I’m a Green Lantern. I’m not supposed to be afraid, it’s part of the job requirement”
“ well I’ve heard you’re not a very good lantern in many ways… but I’ve also heard you’re quite brave… try not to be a scaredy wolf”, Michael has to hold back and laugh at that little joke.. right now isn’t the time for jokes.. right now is the time for Uncle butt kicking
…
Guy had fought valiantly to keep his body the same amount of hairy it already was, but there was only so hard. A simple man could fight under the onslaught of two robots under the command of that cape wearing creep.
“ the filthy organics immobilized master”, the multi armed android, keeping both organic lanterns in its cold grip announced to master
“ excellent work.. mr. Garner. It’s just delicious to see you again, I even bought a little present for you”, and from the creatures Cape, it pulls out a dog collar, a little rocky stone dangling right in the middle, the mere presence of it makes Gardner twitch his skin starting to get itchy like there was something.. under it
“ you get that away from me… please… let me stay human”, he tries to hold back tears.. He knows if he cries that monster will just take more pleasure in this, he lets out a yelp when he feels a bit of moonwalk hit his skin
pain ripped through him so hard he doesn’t even notice that he’s been dropped, he drives violently on the cold ground as his blood grows hot in his veins, the monster Millie looks at him with a mischievous smile like this is some sort of goddamn prank
What feels like both too short and too long time the transformation complete, he’s half conscious of himself enough when he looks at the monster looming above him he still feels rage.. It’s not human rage… but then he doesn’t feel anything
“ calm yourself, dog, you have no desire to attack your master… do you”, the Wolf that weren’t was guy Gardner merely sits obediently as one of his masters many hands pets him
“ good boy.. now then what to do with the other dog”, he glanced over to G'nort who’s openly weeping at the terrible site he was forced to witness
“ if you’re gonna kill me, please just do it with your own, d-don’t make my friends kill me”, more tears roll down his fur cheeks as Gregor and Millie laughs
“ oh don’t cry.. I’m not going to kill you… besides two dogs are better than one.. and I’m sure you got to look just hilarious tearing people apart”, the poor stupid dog he doesn’t have a moment to try and resist his terrible enchanting power, one flash of as many eyes, and now he has two attack dogs at his command
…
Michael shoots another robot with the electric gun he bought with him, “ well it’s safe to say in my Uncle isn’t here… let’s just hope those fools have enough brain cells amongst each other to not be caught by surprise”
“ you know, you’re really an asshole”, hal Jordan comments
“ sorry I get a little prickly when I miffed, well, at least now if he does come back, he won’t have the upper hand and numbers”, Michael halfway lowers his weapon when his uncle appears in the the doorway of the exit to his ship
“ you may have temporarily damp, my numbers, dear nephew, but the ones I still have a question person”, and with a snap of one of his hands, long robotic arm stretched out to neutralize the lanterns accompanying in Michael
“ dammit .. I always overestimate your pride.. but you only have stretchy arms and a dog”, and then hes pounce upon by a dog he’s not expecting to count on him
“ actually I have two”, his uncle laughs triumphantly and Michael frowns quite deeply at all the fools he surrounded by
..
“I blame you for this you know”
“ why me it’s not my fault he’s a fucking techno hypnotist”, both Michael and the robot are changed to a wall in a deep part of Gregor’s ship
“ if you had gotten your system checked, you would’ve gotten rid of that little bug… oh God he let you have consciousness cause he knew we argue you.. he could probably see me threw your senses,”, Michael squints for a moment and think of something before mumbling
“ what was that?”
“ I said, turn off your sensors.. all of them”, Michael whispers and xgl does so, he’s incomplete darkness, not the sword of darkness that comes in recharged mode.. He feels the beginning of the webbing in his mind starting to strangle his Will, it’s just about to make him open his senses again when
“ got it”, and suddenly he’s not being helpful to a wall by a magnet, he turned his sent his back on to see himself being held in Michael’s arms
“ it’s a good thing the cuffs I brought with cheap stuff, they only damp magic.. and my predator strength is biological”, Michael smiles and pride starting to feel better about himself now that things are starting to work his way
“ OK your good but I still got that bug”, and then feels being plugged into one of his try, one of your hammer, it looks to see what looks like a USB chip and wave of relief at being the only thing in his head again
“ probably should’ve put it. I didn’t know when I learned you didn’t get cleared.. but late than never as they say they say”, the land to the ground, and he starts thinking moment
“ I think I have a new plan.. but you’re probably gonna not like your part in it”
“ just tell me”
“ all right.. so”
End of part one

Chapter Text

jervis, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.
jon: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!
jervis, with the tone of someone who is used to jon: Outstanding.
jervis: This is what I’m talking about people.
jervis: My mom said if I don't get my grades up she won't let me get my tetanus shot next year
jon: That's… weird, what're you gonna do?
jervis: FUCKIN' STUDY, I GUESS!
jervis: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.
jon: jervis, that's a coma.
jervis: Sounds festive.

jervis, negotiating with jon: We have edd. Give us ten thousand dollars and he will be returned to you unharmed
edd: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars?
jervis:
edd: MAKE IT ONE MILLION–
jervis: EDD STOP
jervis: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.
jon: The cow???
jervis: What?
edd: jon, W H Y?
jervis: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, jon?
jon: … No.
edd: I do!
jervis: I know, edd.
edd: I’m sad!
jervis: I know, edd.

edd: Go to Hell
jon, tearing up: I wish I could
edd: *Accidentally hits jon in the face*
edd: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*
edd: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!
jon: What’s wrong with you?!
edd: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!
jon: Mind your language!
edd: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
jon:
edd: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

edd: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.
jervis, not looking up from his book: Spear.
edd: BLOCKED.
edd: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
jervis: Killed without hesitation.
edd: No.
edd: I was arrested for being too cool.
jervis: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

Chapter Text

Orm, to Fhillip: We had a date!
Orm: *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*
Orm: I fell—
Fhillip: From heaven?
Orm: No, I literally fell—
Fhillip: In love with me the moment you saw me?
Orm: MY ARM IS BROKEN!
Fhillip: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.
Orm: I fell—
Fhillip: From heaven?
Orm: No, I literally fell—
Fhillip: In love with me the moment you saw me?
Orm: MY ARM IS BROKEN!
Fhillip: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.
Orm: I owe you one.
Fhillip: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

Orm: What are your goals?
Fhillip: To pet all the dogs.
Orm: No, fitness goals.
Fhillip: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.
Orm: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Fhillip: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
Orm: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.
Orm: Do you think you’d actually notice if someone didn’t cast a shadow? Or if their limbs were just slightly too long? Or if they had just a little too many teeth? like how many times have you passed Something on the street and you just didn’t Notice It?
Fhillip: Stay woke monsterfuckers ur love is out there!!!!!
Orm: Yknow what? Not my point at all in any way whatsoever, but I’m glad I could be an inspiration.

fhillip: I just don’t know what to do
Peter: well you love this guy, right
fhillip: yeah but
Peter: and he wants your hot prince body
fhillip: probably yeah but
Peter: but what?
fhillip: eel tail
Peter(lighting up his opium pipe): squishy holes
A sudden real realization comes over fhillip as he suddenly gets up and begins sprinting towards his squishy destiny
fhillip: OK, thanks for the advice
Peter(taking a puff of his opium): just imagine it