Archive of Our Own

In the early stages of their relationship, Nagito had recalled being incredibly shy, even hesitant in initiating any sort of sexual act with Hajime. 

Of course, the hesitation didn’t come from a place that had no desire to be intimate with the brunette, because he definitely had the desire. More times than he could even count, and he was sure that if Hajime knew the kind of filthy thoughts he’d been harboring when Hajime was doing just about anything, Hajime would surely hate him. 

But the fact that he couldn’t even look Hajime in the eyes on the day he worked up the courage to ask him if he wanted to have sex with him wasn’t because he didn’t want Hajime.

No…it was because he was afraid of rejection. Afraid of giving everything he had, and was to Hajime only for Hajime to find him disgusting. Afraid that if Hajime finally fucked him, he’d realize how worthless Nagito was, and leave him for good - god, had the thought haunted him for nights, leaving him a sobbing, panicking mess half of the time. 

However, he knew Hajime wasn’t a fickle man. He was kind, and sweet, and so caring but he couldn’t, for the life of him, seem to purge the thoughts that told him the moment Hajime saw him naked, some kind of flip would go off, and he’d be disgusted forever.

But all that doubt, fear, and insecurity had gradually begun fading away the more and more they had sex. Call him corny, but Nagito wouldn’t even say they were just having sex - it felt like they were making love every time. Hajime never failed to say “I love you,” when he was going down on Nagito, and he always stressed how beautiful or handsome he thought Nagito was, whether he was on top or below him. 

And suddenly, Nagito found himself being confident about his sexual appeal - at least, with Hajime. Hajime liked his body almost as much as he liked Hajime’s, and he thought he’d never have to worry about his worth when it came to sex again.

…Until now.

Fast forward to several years in the future - it was a cool summer night, Hajime was tapping away on his phone lying right next to Nagito, and Nagito hadn’t been fucked in months. 

Specifically, two months but Nagito’s not even sure if that’s right - he lost track a long time ago. And yes, two months of no sex may sound like nothing to any regular person, but this was sex with Hajime - Hajime, the ultimate hope, the absolute love of his life, the one he’d give up the entire universe for. The most amazing, most kind, and most beautiful person to ever step foot in this world. 

…And on top of all that mushiness, they fucked quite frequently. Two months for them was highly unusual. 

And he’s not sure if it’s because 1, Hajime’s just been too caught up in his work or 2, he simply didn’t want Nagito like that anymore. 

The two were pretty far into their marriage by now, and Nagito wondered whether it’s because of that Hajime has been so distant. But it couldn’t be, right? Did marriage bring about some kind of distaste for sex…? That just didn’t make sense.

But the more he thought about it, the more he began to think that really was the reason. Unless, Hajime just wasn’t comfortable with having sex anymore, or maybe he had no sexual desire at all?

Nagito wasn’t sure, but he was going to get to the bottom of it (ha) one way or another, and the only way he could do that was to be as straightforward as possible. No teasing, no beating around the bush - he was just going to ask his husband a simple question. 

They were comfortable enough around each other, he was sure, to be able to speak about these…subjects normally. Well…he couldn’t exactly speak for Hajime, considering his husband was cursed to be permanently awkward but. He was going to hope for the best.

So with a small roll of his body, he threw his arm around Hajime’s waist and propped his chin on the dip of Hajime’s shoulder, smiling as he watched Hajime slowly glance back at him.

“Hi,” He muttered, returning Nagito’s smile shyly.

“Hi…” Nagito breathed. “I have something I need to ask you, Hajime.”

Hajime blinked back at him in confusion, before letting out a small, huff of a laugh. “Okay…” He put his phone down, an indication that he was giving Nagito his full attention. 

“Do you want to-“ He paused mid-sentence as a sudden wave of anxiety rippled through his chest, shaking him to his core. 

He doesn’t want you he doesn’t want you he doesn’t want you he doesn’t-

And suddenly, self-deprecating mantras were repeating themselves over and over in his head until it hurt to think and even breathe. He had originally wanted to dive right into it, simply ask Hajime if he wanted to have sex with him, but the more Hajime stared at him with those meticulous, calculating eyes of his, the more afraid he became. He hadn’t feared this kind of rejection from Hajime in so long…he’d forgotten how absolutely gripping it’d been.

“Uh, I - I mean…it has been quite the stressful week, hasn’t it?” He mumbled instead, arms involuntarily tightening around Hajime.

“…Yeah…?” Hajime replied, raising an eyebrow and smiling a little. “I mean. Without a doubt, it’s Future Foundation work.” 

“Yes, well…” Nagito briefly considered trailing off into a different subject but…no. He had to ask now.

He swallowed down his crushing anxiety, before slowly meeting Hajime’s eyes and whispering, “I can think of a way we can unwind together. It’s been a while since we did anything.”

It took several seconds, and a fleeting thought that Hajime had no idea what Nagito was even talking about before something in Hajime’s eyes seemed to click, and his cheeks grew a shade warmer. “O-Oh.”

Nagito fought against his own blush as he lowered his eyelids, speaking in his most seductive tone. “Do you want to…have me, Hajime…?”

“Oh.” Hajime repeated, before clearing his throat and turning his head, no doubt to avert himself from Nagito’s longing gaze. “Um,”

Something in Nagito shriveled up and died at that moment, but he kept face, even when Hajime was stuttering and at a loss in the kind of way that wasn’t flustered and aroused, but helpless and unsure. As if he had no clue how to respond only because he didn’t want to let Nagito down. He felt his stomach drop.

“I - I do, but-“ Then suddenly, Hajime’s phone was going off, shattering the air between them and he jumped in Nagito’s arms, in turn making the latter flinch as well.

He laughed nervously, before sitting himself up and Nagito had no choice but to release him, frowning as Hajime pulled away from his touch. “Better take this. It’s Naegi. I’ll be right back,”

For some reason, Hajime felt the need to get up out of bed to take the call, and Nagito watched wordlessly as Hajime put the phone up to his ear and left their room entirely.

His heart wrenched anxiously in his chest, and he felt himself fall back against his pillow, huffing unhappily. That went about as well as he had expected. Half of him wondered if luck was on Hajime’s side tonight, and against his - it would only make sense, considering how Hajime had practically dashed out of the room to be away from Nagito. Did Nagito still make him uncomfortable, he wondered? After all this time? After they were now married?

His stomach twisted unpleasantly, and he let out a shuddering sigh, before resigning to just lie on his side and wait for Hajime to come back to him. Perhaps Hajime would have a proper response for him when he got back…

He figured Hajime just wasn’t in the mood for sex - which was fine, of course, but that didn’t mean it didn’t make Nagito just the slightest bit nervous.

    Well, when Nagito eventually fell asleep, and he woke up the next morning to find that Hajime was nowhere in sight, he became…more than the “slightest bit nervous.”

    He hadn’t even realized when he began drifting off to sleep last night, and he cursed himself for his lack of self-control. He really was so useless - he’d wanted to stay awake long enough for Hajime to come back.

    Which led him to his second thought - did Hajime ever come back? Or did he just…leave for the night? Rarely did Hajime ever get up without Nagito joining him as well - he knew how much waking up together meant to Nagito and yet…

Nagito’s hands tightened around the sheets pulled around his body, and he frowned deeply, the anxiety he’d been harboring for the past few days coming back to hit him at full force. He was confused. And upset. And unfortunately, still fucking horny but he knew there was really nothing to be done about that, especially if his husband no longer wanted that for them. 

Nagito let out a shaky sigh, before getting out of bed and rubbing his eyes against the blinding sunlight bleeding through the slits in their curtain. He padded out to their living room, seeking his beloved husband out but he found the house was quiet.

No frying eggs on the stovetop, no coffee being brewed on the counter, no smile lighting up the room and certainly no good morning kisses. The house looked sad, and colorless without Hajime there in the morning.

Nagito wrapped his arms around himself, and made his way back into their bedroom to check his phone, which was still charging on the nightstand by his side of the bed. But when he found that there were no new messages, and when he looked around his desk to see if Hajime had left any sort of note, only to come up with nothing once again , he collapsed onto the sheets face first and groaned loudly. What was going on? Where was Hajime? He was beyond just confused and upset now and he briefly wondered if Hajime had been called away on an emergency mission last night. But surely if that was the case, he would’ve let Nagito know?

Nagito turned his face against the side of his bed, frowning deeply and finally wondering if he’d done something horribly wrong last night. Perhaps it had been a mistake to ever say anything. Perhaps he should’ve just shut up and wallowed in his own, horny misery because it was becoming clearer by the second that Hajime probably wanted nothing to do with him and his…disgustingness.

Nagito had quite a bit of work to do around the island today, and it should’ve been motivation enough for him to get out of bed but he found himself being unable to move, the bones in his body completely inoperative and his mind a puddle of sadness and anxiety. He decided to give himself a good, thirty minutes of lying face down on their shared bed before he figured it was time to get the day going, with or without Hajime…

    It was already more than halfway through the day when Nagito finally found him.

The sun was slowly dipping on the horizon, and on his walk back to the island houses after a day of collecting resources, he managed to catch a glimpse of Hajime on the sands of the beach. 

He didn’t quite register that it was indeed his missing husband, who he’d been mulling over practically all day, walking up the beach towards where he stood on the sidewalk, but when it did process in his mind, he did a double-take and widened his eyes, stopping completely.

His heart stuttered in his chest when his gaze settled on his husband, who was all bare tan skin and glowing eyes in the afternoon sun rays, which wrapped themselves around his frame, making him look ethereal. He hadn’t a shirt on, and Nagito was beyond confused but he couldn’t find it in him to even care at the moment. (Or complain, for that matter.)

    In all his elation of seeing Hajime after an entire day of being away from him, he bounded down the dunes of sand without a moment’s hesitation, calling out, “Hajime!”

    “Hey!” Hajime yelled back, dropping the pile of clothes he had tucked underneath his arm and smiling brightly, holding out his arms for Nagito to jump in. 

    Nagito practically leapt into his embrace, clinging to Hajime tightly and half processing the fact that Hajime was dripping in salty, ocean water. His hands carded through short, wet strands of brown locks and he breathed in the scent of his husband, the smell intoxicating. 

    Hajime wrapped his arms around Nagito’s lithe body just as tightly, burying his nose into Nagito’s clothed shoulder, and Nagito couldn’t put his alleviation into words if he were forced to. He’d just been weighing what the chances of Hajime simply disappearing forever were, when Hajime showed up out of nowhere, coming from the ocean like an answer to his prayers.

When they pulled away from one another, after what had to be minutes of clinging (mostly on Nagito’s part), he had the audacity to ask, “What’s up?” with a small, sheepish smile on his lips. As if he hadn’t just disappeared from the island for nearly the entire day!

It was at this moment that Nagito’s relief quickly transformed into rage. “Where have you been?!” He demanded, eyes furious.

“It’s - ” Hajme winced, before looking off somewhere behind Nagito’s shoulder. Oh no, he couldn’t do that. With a frown, Nagito stepped into Hajime’s line of vision, urging him on with what he hoped was his most intense stare.

“It’s a long story. It started with the phone call, last night.”

A pause followed that, and suddenly, Hajime was giving no indication of wanting to continue. 

“... And?” Nagito did not have the patience for this. Was Hajime hiding things from him now?

“Okay, I’m sorry, can we just go home and talk about this?” Hajime said, running a hand through his wet, tousled hair.

“No, I would like answers now, please.” He shot back, crossing his arms across his body. “My husband left without a single word last night, and forgive me if I’m being just slightly demanding for wondering why.”

Hajime sighed deeply, and yet another pause followed as silence stretched on between the two of them. But Nagito wasn’t moving a single muscle until he got some kind of answer. Hajime couldn't just do that - leave without saying a word and then come back without giving an explanation!

Finally, Hajime brought his eyes to meet Nagito’s own, and said, “Naegi called me off on a last minute mission.”

“He what?”

“Yeah.” Hajime muttered, clearly annoyed but for once, Nagito didn’t think the contempt was aimed towards him. “It was some classified shit he needed me to help out with that I really can’t talk about right now.”

“I…I see…” Nagito’s anger wavered at that, and he looked down towards the grains of sand beneath his feet. Hajime probably wasn’t going to elaborate before they got back to the confines of their own home, and he was fine with that, but he couldn’t help the sinking of his heart when he thought back to how he’d felt that morning.

“But you left. Without even saying anything.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.” Hajime quickly said, reaching towards Nagito and curling his fingers around his arm. “By the time I was off the call, you were already asleep and I didn’t have time to explain it to you. But, what I can say now is that there was a helicopter and - and we were on the neighboring island, but I’m back now.”

Nagito is half alarmed by the fact that Hajime had been able to make off on a helicopter at night without awakening a single soul, and half shocked that there was another island in the area. As far as he knew, Jabberwock Island had been quite isolated from any other land masses in the Pacific, so this was news to him.

“A neighboring island?” Nagito chose to voice his latter thought aloud. “I had no idea there were islands other than Jabberwock in the area.”

“Yeah, me neither.” Hajime shrugged, not seeming the least bit phased. “But anyways, it was a false alarm, and they don’t need me anymore. Kind of annoying, but, when duty calls.” 

“Well, I’m glad you’re okay…” Nagito said, sharing a soft smile with his husband before remembering that Hajime was still dripping wet, and there was a heap of clothes where he’d dropped them by his feet before.

He stepped back, and didn’t even try to contain the amusement in his tone when he asked, “But, why in the world do you look like you just came from the ocean?”

“‘Cause I did.” Hajime said simply, shaking his hair and letting a few, stray droplets of water fly around. 

Nagito let out a short laugh as some hit his cheek, and he wiped them off with the palm of his hand. “They didn’t drop you off on dry land?”

“No. Like I said, they wanted it all to be as discreet as possible.”

“Ah. So they dropped you in the ocean.”

Hajime snorted. “It was effective though, wasn’t it?”

“Not really.” Nagito said, tilting his head. "I still saw you. If I happened to be an enemy, you’d probably be dead in moments!”

“But you’re not an enemy,” Hajime quipped, taking a step closer to Nagito with a small smirk on his face.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Pfft,” Then suddenly, he was being pulled into yet another tight hug, strong, bare arms wrapping around him that he found any response he might’ve had for Hajime completely lost on his tongue. “Pretty sure.”

Nagito froze up, before melting into the embrace and closing his eyes, willowy arms tangling themselves around Hajime’s back. 

“I don’t know what I would’ve done if you didn’t return by the end of today, you know.” He whispered, his hands roaming down the expanse of Hajime’s skin.

“I wouldn’t have let that happen. I wouldn’t leave you behind.” He said quickly, his voice full of raw, earnest honesty and it made Nagito’s chest tight with comfort, and yet…

He let his long fingers run down the dip of Hajime’s spine, and he would be a stranger not to recognize the shiver it elicited from his husband. He prided himself in the reaction, and lowered his voice when he said, “I missed you.”

“It’s been a single day,” Hajime murmured, a warming lilt in his voice as he relaxed into Nagito’s touch.

“I still missed you.” 

Hajime chuckled lowly, pressing a kiss to the side of Nagito’s head and Nagito sighed, a part of him, the carnal part that craved more than just a chaste kiss aching selfishly and he found himself asking, “So…this means you didn’t leave because you… you were disgusted?”

“Wh…” Hajime pulled back, frowning now. “What do you mean, disgusted?”

“Do you remember what I asked you before you left the room?” At this point, Nagito wasn’t sure what would be worse - if Hajime had actually recalled the events of last night or if he had completely forgotten about it, which, now that he thought about it, would probably save him from a great deal of embarrassment. 

Hajime blinked cluelessly, pulling his eyebrows together in taut confusion before Nagito saw realization rush back to him all at once, and his shoulders relax slightly. “O-Oh. Oh yeah…”

“You never told me what you were going to say.” Nagito said quietly.

“I was going to tell you that I was too exhausted to do anything. I’m sorry.” Hajime admitted, taking his hand and swiping a thumb over his knuckles and just like that, he felt all the tension in his body melt into a puddle beneath him.

That was all it took. An admission from Hajime. Whether it was a good one or a bad one, at least he knew now that Hajime wasn’t repulsed by him. He was just tired.

…Well, no. He could definitely still be disgusted by Nagito, and turned off by sex with him, but Nagito decided not to dwell on it at this moment, not when he was feeling so relieved.

“No, no, please don’t apologize.” He said genuinely, squeezing Hajime’s hand. “You’re entitled to your own comfort, you know,”

Hajime gave him a sweet smile, one so comforting and welcoming that he found himself continuing without thinking, “I - I just thought that I scared you off or something like that.”

“No.” Hajime shook his head, leaning in to plant a soft kiss to Nagito’s lips, and it wasn’t nearly enough, but he was already pulling away before Nagito could even think to deepen it. “Of course not.”

Nagito tried not to let his disappointment show, and instead smiled softly. “Let’s go home, Hajime.”

His voice came out much more breathless than he thought it would, and really , it was pathetic the kind of reactions Hajime managed to pull from him when they were literally doing the bare minimum. To cover up, he cleared his throat and flashed a casual smile. “I’ll make us dinner.”

“You’ll make us dinner? Yeah, I don’t think so.”

“Hajime!” Nagito laughed, pushing Hajime’s shoulder slightly and Hajime let out a laugh of his own, as they began walking together towards their home.

The rest of their night had been nothing short of peaceful and domestic. Nagito really did end up cooking dinner for the two of them after nonstop insistence, and he’d managed to make something edible - maybe even tasteful. But he figured that was only because he’d been cooking under Hajime’s close supervision and scrutiny, with Hajime leaning over his shoulder almost every two seconds and murmuring unnecessary pieces of advice Nagito felt he probably could have figured out on his own. But, it’s not like he really minded. He missed Hajime too much the entire day to even care.

Then they spent the rest of the evening separately and to their own devices. Well, as separately as Nagito would allow them to be, that is - he’d been lying on Hajime’s lap, reading a book as Hajime finished up a report for work. He’d considered the possibility that Hajime might’ve been growing the slightest bit annoyed with how clingy he was being, but if he was annoyed, he certainly didn't show it.

Because now, he found himself falling asleep tangled up in Hajime’s warm embrace, with strong arms locked tight around his body. The topic of sex didn’t come up again, and a part of Nagito felt disappointed but he figured that Hajime needed a good night’s rest after he’d been whisked away on a mission, and probably missed out on hours of sleep.

That night, he dreamt he was on the beach - the afternoon sun was melting into the ocean behind them and Hajime was in his arms and bare-chested, just as he had been that same afternoon. 

But they didn’t separate from each other’s arms - didn’t take a step back - this time, Hajime was pulling Nagito in closer for a kiss. A kiss so deep, so passionate Nagito found himself feeling light-headed as Hajime’s hands began roaming, shucking off his green jacket and snaking curious hands up his shirt.

Nagito moaned as Hajime bit his way into his mouth, clutching onto the back of Hajime’s damp brown locks desperately. His gut was burning with arousal, and he was no stranger to the familiar strain against his pants. Without thinking, he began grinding his hips against Hajime’s own as Hajime rested steady hands on the small of his back, groaning softly at the movement. 

With the support of Hajime’s hands on his body, he felt Hajime guide and lay him down onto the sand. He blinked up at Hajime as Hajime smiled sweetly at him, tucking a strand of white hair behind his ear before leaning in and meeting his lips in another heated kiss. His hands were trailing up Nagito’s waist, rubbing small, gentle circles into the smooth skin of his hips. 

He felt himself tremble as Hajime began kissing down his neck, biting at a few sensitive spots all the while working to unbutton his pants with fast, nimble fingers. Nagito shakily placed his hands on the nape of Hajime’s neck, urging him on with small whimpers and moans as Hajime bit down hard on a spot on his collarbone. Nagito gasped as Hajime roughly pulled his pants and boxers down, not even caring to remove them from his legs.

His cock was a hot rod against his stomach, and he stared pleadingly up at Hajime as Hajime simply looked back in quiet admiration. Nagito had once feared it was disgust, or disappointment laced in Hajime’s gaze, but he knew now that it was nowhere near that. 

“Please, Hajime,” He whispered.

He didn’t want to touch himself. In fact, he refused to - it would only feel good if it was Hajime and he knew this with absolute certainty because the moment Hajime wrapped his hand around his leaking cock, he was throwing his head back and arching his back off the sand, moaning like Hajime was on his knees with his cock in his mouth instead of in his palm.

But with skilled hands, Hajime was working him towards his orgasm, with a small smirk on his face and swollen, pink lips that looked exceptionally kissable. 

Nagito writhed underneath Hajime, moaning shamelessly and practically humping into his hand as Hajime ran soft fingers over the veins of his cock, then slowly rubbed them up from the shaft before gripping his balls and repeating. It felt like heaven.

(It didn’t feel like enough.)

“H-Hajime, I’m c-close.” He gasped, and Hajime hummed, obviously pleased with Nagito’s reactions, before leaning down to meet his lips in yet another rough kiss. His tongue shoved its way past Nagito’s lips, licking deep into his mouth and exploring the roof of his mouth, making Nagito shake.

On most occasions, Hajime did not speak in his dreams, unless it was a nightmare or some kind of flashback. It was strange, but it was something Nagito had grown used to - he even thought he’d been able to decipher reality between dreams at one point because of it.

But in this moment, Nagito felt it was real - it all felt so, so real, and he was chasing his release like there was no tomorrow, fluttering his eyes closed, lips moving against Hajime’s own and moaning out Hajime’s name in his own mouth and, oh god, he was about to reach it - !

Until everything went black and suddenly, Nagito was awake again in his and Hajime’s bedroom.

He’d awoken with a sharp gasp, eyes shooting wide open and body trembling like he’d just escaped a gun fight. The world felt like it was spinning, his stomach was burning, and god, the room was warm. As if the walls were simply radiating heat onto his skin - he honestly wouldn’t be surprised if they really were, from the perspiration dripping down the sides of his face and down his back. 

He braced himself against his pillow as he sat himself up with his stump, looking around in bewilderment as if waking up in his own bedroom were the strangest thing that could happen to him. He brought his right hand up to his forehead, grimacing when he pulled back and found it covered in his own sheen, sweat. 

As he began to gather his bearings again, slowly coming to the increasingly despairing conclusion that his private recluse with Hajime on the beach had been nothing more than a figment of his imagination, he felt a body sigh softly next to him and froze up.

When he glanced down, he was met with the sight of his sleeping husband, all bundled up in the sheets with nothing but a loose tank top thrown over his body, and it was then that he realized his breathing had not gotten any less heavier than when he’d woken up. Which sounded creepy as all hell, but it’s not like Nagito could exactly help himself after waking up from a dream like - like that.

With a start, he pulled the covers down his legs and he was met with what he’d expected - a tent in his boxers. He groaned, shame and even a semblance of guilt beginning to swirl and fill in his chest but it only worsened the moment he noticed it. Although barely perceptible in the darkness of their room, a telltale wet splotch was visible against his boxers and suddenly he was horrified.

Fuck. Had he came?

Without a moment to spare, he leaped out of bed, nearly tripping over his own feet as he dashed into the bathroom, only slightly throwing the door closed behind him. The moment the lights came on, he yanked his boxers with his one hand down his skinny hips, anticipation eating him alive but soon replaced by a gratifying feeling of relief when he realized the damp spot had been made from the tip of his leaking cock. He hadn’t come yet. 

He let out a quiet sigh, clumsily sitting himself on top of the closed toilet with his boxers still hanging around his thighs. It would be embarrassment beyond words if he came in his pants while dreaming of Hajime giving him a handjob - because sure, wet dreams were normal but he hasn’t had one in years. He was grateful for the fact that his luck hadn’t betrayed him in this way.

…But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that this was already pretty bad. He was still hard, he thought, as he shamefully looked to the spot between his legs, his cock twitching and begging for attention. This was supposed to be when Hajime would help him. He was so used to Hajime being there to take care of him when he got like this - he even believed for a short while that he was spoiled because of the way Hajime treated and indulged him, but he wouldn’t wake him up for this. Not for this. 

Not for something he might not even want. 

Nagito’s sigh came out soft and shaky as he wrapped a frail hand around his cock. In all honesty, he hadn’t gotten off by himself in a while. Because again, that was what Hajime was there for, and it just wasn’t the same now that he knew what Hajime’s sweet hands on his cock felt like but now that Hajime might not even…might not even want to…

He gulped, before dropping his mouth open in a moan as he stroked down his length, rubbing his thumb along the veins. He watched dazedly as his blushing cock swelled in his hands, twitching every now and then and practically crying for relief. 

But…it didn’t feel good. Hajime’s hand felt better than this. If he were on top of him, Hajime would lay soft kisses down his neck as he played with the beads of pre-cum gathering on the tip of Nagito’s dick, and if he were lower down Nagito’s body, he might even leave small, kitten licks along Nagito’s length as he fondled his balls. 

Nagito whimpered through his nose, sweat gathering on his brow. He imagined it was Hajime’s hand rather than his own, because he knew that would be the only way he would have any chance of finishing. He imagined that Hajime was the one stroking his cock, imagined it was Hajime’s fingers lightly grazing up his length with large, multicolored eyes staring lovingly into his own, before finally kissing him softly. He’d kiss him, and he’d run his hands down his body and maybe he’d even fuck him before they…

“H-Hajime,” He whispered, closing his eyes as something began to drip down his cheeks. 

Aha. Just how much did he miss Hajime? Was he this desperate?

No…that’s not what it was…he was just disgusting. Maybe that was why Hajime didn’t want him anymore.

Nagito moaned, but the sound came out miserable. He spread his legs further apart and continued to stroke, continued to imagine, but he knew that if it were Hajime, he’d be doing it with skilled, steady hands - not ones that shook pathetically. He tried as best as he could to blink back more tears but to no avail. They ran in thin streaks down his cheeks as his mind ruthlessly tortured him with thoughts of Hajime never wanting to touch him like this again. 

And he knew - he knew was overreacting, that this was the most brainless thing to get worked up over and if Hajime were to see him right now he’d be outright mortified, but it meant more to Nagito than anyone would ever understand, because it went farther than just having sex. It was making love, it was a promise of faith, it was something only they could share.

And yes, it had only been two months, and in retrospect that was fine, but why did Nagito feel as if he wanted Hajime more than Hajme wanted him? It was almost as if…as if Hajime were tired of him. 

Nagito didn’t think he could ever be tired of Hajime.

He groaned then, letting the tears roll down his cheeks without resistance as his strokes grew more desperate. He was getting close. The war of sickening thoughts in his mind had made it exceptionally hard, but his body couldn’t not react. Nagito was sure he was going to reach the most unsatisfying orgasm of his life, and he was glad to get it over with so he could just go back to sleep and wrap his arms around his husband and pretend he was fine with everything.

“Nagito?”

His blood ran cold. 

No. Nonononono -

Seriously?! Now?

“H-Hajime!” He glanced up, only to see the shadow of Hajime’s body lingering by the light made by the crack in the door, after Nagito had foolishly forgotten to lock the fucking door before masturbating.

“Are you okay in here…? It’s 3 AM…” He saw half of Hajime’s head peak through the door curiously, quietly observing the bathroom and seeming to miss Nagito on the far side of the bathroom. 

“I’m - I’m fine!” He quickly jumped off the toilet, almost slipping on the tiled floor before struggling to pull his boxers up his hips with one, soiled hand while also wiping the tears from his cheeks with his shoulders. Grimacing, he put his hand behind his back as Hajime finally opened the door wider. Try as he might, but Nagito could not hide how obviously disheveled he looked, from his mussed up hair to his flushed cheeks, to his fucking visible erection through his boxers. He was so dead.

Hajime stepped into the bathroom, worry lines streaking themselves across his forehead when his gaze landed on Nagito. “Hey. What’s wrong?”

“My - My stomach.” He blurted out, the lie coming out easily. “It hurt, and I woke up, so I took something for it.

But he knew better than to lie to Hajime, because Hajime’s frown was deepening and he was stepping closer to Nagito, his expression dangerously close to disappointment. “...Nagito. Are you really lying right now?”

“No!” His voice came out much more desperate than he’d meant it to and he shrunk back, curling in on himself.  “I’m - I mean, I - “

He lost all sense of meaning in his words, stuttering and stumbling over everything that tried to come out so he instead resigned to biting his lip and staring down at the bathroom floor. 

Tense silence passed between the two of them and Nagito could feel a lump in his throat as quiet, careful steps made their way towards him. Half of him was yelling in joy that Hajime hadn’t left him there, but the other half was withering at the fact that closer up, Hajime could see every single feature on his pathetic face.

He felt Hajime’s eyes on him, observing him from head to toe before he heard a soft, “Ah,”

A hand came to softly cup his chin, tilting his head up and he couldn’t help but widen his eyes when their gazes met for the first time since when Hajime came into the bathroom. 

But when he looked closer, he could see a hint of amusement in Hajime’s eyes and it made him burn with embarrassment. Hajime was smirking when he said, “So, you had a wet dream.”

“D-Don’t laugh at me…” Nagito said, yanking his chin from Hajime’s hand and willing his most upset expression, his cheeks flaring. He knew Hajime would find out one way or another, but he would never live this down. 

“I’m not laughing, I - ” But suddenly, he cut himself off, and before Nagito knew it his face was being forced towards Hajime, this time with rough hands cupping his cheeks. The grip was powerful, nothing in comparison to the gentle hand on his chin from before, and he let out a gasp. The obvious amusement Hajime had taken in Nagito’s humiliation was now nowhere to be seen in his expression.

“Hey, wh - have you been crying?”

“N-No, I - “

But then Hajime shot him a look, and he took back the lie before it could roll off his tongue. Instead, he simply nodded and Hajime’s expression grew softer. His grip on Nagito’s face grew warm and protective, and he felt thumbs rub over the dry tear tracks on his flushed cheeks.

“Baby, why?”

Nagito sniffled, feeling something in him crumble at Hajime’s voice. So concerned. Always so sweet. 

“Do you not w-want me anymore, Hajime?”

“What?” Hajime blinked, softly thumbing away tears that were gathering in the corner of Nagito’s eyes.

“Y-You never want to touch me anymore, or do anything, and we haven’t had - we haven’t done anything in so long and I - I’m truly okay with it, I am, because I love you so much, but I - ” Nagito took a breath, and he knew at this rate he was going to fall into another self-deprecating tangent and what he wanted least was for Hajime to have sex with him because he made him feel guilty. He would never want that for Hajime. 

He closed his eyes, and finally said, “I just don’t know if I did something wrong or if you’re tired of my body or…” He trailed off, at a loss for what more to say.

Neither of them said anything for a while, and Nagito was beginning to think that he really did do something wrong because Hajime had stopped stroking his cheeks, and had gone still in front of him.

Then,

“Nagito. Are you kidding me?”

His eyes shot wide open at that, his face collapsing, and he felt tears suddenly burst from his eyes without warning. He’d fucked up. “N-No, Hajime, I - I’m so, so sorry, I -”

“No, holy shit, stop.” Hajime said, rushing to wipe his tears away with the hands still cupping his cheeks. His face twisted as he realized his mistake. “I’m sorry, I’m - I’m not mad at you.”

He took a short breath, before leaning in to press a soft kiss to Nagito’s lips, and Nagito melted into the kiss, whimpering softly through his nose. Every single touch felt like an electric current through his body, and when Hajime pulled back, he longed for the warm passage of lips against his skin again, but listened to him when he said, heartfully,

“I love you, Nagito. I love everything about you.” He tucked a lock of white hair behind Nagito’s ear, memories of a sandy terrain against his back coming back to him as Hajime mirrored the same exact movement from his dream. “I love your body, and I love - I love having sex with you.” He seemed embarrassed to say it, but he was looking straight into Nagito’s eyes with hard determination.

“I’m sorry I ever made you think otherwise, I just - I’ve been so fucking busy that I haven’t even thought about it, but now I…” He pressed his lips together, before staring off into a corner of the room and knitting his eyebrows. Nagito swallowed, and took a step closer.

He took the chance, deciding that if Hajime wasn’t going to make the first move, he would. He almost felt like they were teenagers again, what with the way his stomach filled with butterflies and his heart rate spiked. He pressed their foreheads together, placing a steady hand on the nape of Hajime’s neck, and feeling a deep sense of satisfaction curl in his gut as he watched a blush rise in Hajime’s cheeks. 

“Now, what?” He whispered.

Hajime’s eyes, beautiful as they were, blinked in sudden clarity as he stared deeply into Nagito’s own, seeming to take in every feature on his face and for once, Nagito didn’t feel himself wither at the scrutiny. His eyes finally flicked down to his lips.

And then before he could even get a grasp on what was happening, he was being pulled in by the waist, a short murmur of, “Come here,” escaping Hajime’s lips before they collided in a heated, desperate kiss.

They’d kissed before, yes, but it was nothing like this. The kisses the two have been sharing recently have always been brief, sweet, but had left Nagito wanting. But this was deep and rough, just like the one in his dream because Hajime was licking deep into his mouth, and his tongue was pushing against the roof of Nagito’s mouth and making him moan deliciously into the hot cavern of his  mouth. Legs already weak, Nagito wrapped his arms around Hajime’s neck, letting himself melt into the kiss as he pressed his body flush to Hajime’s chest.

Hajime seemed encouraged now, grunting hotly into the kiss and biting hard on Nagito’s bottom lip, drawing the taste of bitter iron from his lips and it drove Nagito mad. Hajime’s strong hands were beginning to trail down from their spot on his waist to the curve of his ass, and fuck, Nagito was wrong, this was better than his dream. How could he have ever compared the two? Hajime cupped his ass roughly, before using his grip to pull their hips together and smiling into the kiss when Nagito let out a sharp gasp.

Nagito pulled back to let out a wanton moan, before Hajime’s hands were back on his waist and spinning him around, towards the sink. He gasped as he was suddenly shoved back against the counter of the sink, and his beloved was leaning in to push his lips against the column of his pale neck.

“I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” Hajime whispered against Nagito’s pale skin, before biting down and it took everything in Nagito to not collapse on his knees right then and there.

“R-Right - ” He moaned. “Right now?”

“Yeah.” He whispered heavily, his breath cooling on the wet spot he’d just been marking down before. He moved his lips towards Nagito’s sharp, protruding collarbones, trailing featherlight kisses along the structure of his bones.

“But, Hajime, don’t you need sleep?” Nagito panted, his mind struggling to keep up with the way Hajime was worshipping his body after weeks upon weeks of neglect. It wasn't like he was complaining but god, he’d almost forgotten what it felt like.

But he also wanted the best for Hajime. He didn’t want Hajime doing this because he was guilty - he wanted Hajime to need him as much as he needed Hajime. “You didn’t - ah?!”

Gasping, the remaining bits of Nagito’s rationality were wrecked when he felt Hajime seize his hips and easily push him up onto the sink counter. He frantically braced his hand behind him, nearly slipping with the sudden change of position, but then Hajime was forcing his thighs apart and nestling himself between the space between Nagito’s legs. He was dizzy with arousal, and his cock was straining almost painfully against the fabric of his damp boxers. Fuck.

“I’m wide awake, sweetie, trust me.” Hajime said, smiling sweetly up at Nagito, before reaching around his hips to hook his fingers around the waistband of Nagito’s boxers. “I’ll make it up to you. To both of us.”

“Aha,” Nagito laughed breathlessly, feeling incredibly flustered but willing a brief, teasing smile to his lips. “This feels like deja vu,” 

“Pff…yeah...I make too many things up to you.”

He tugged insistently, and Nagito struggled to lift his hips before Hajime was able to tear his boxers down his legs, freeing his cock which he’d felt had been erect for the longest fucking time now. Hajime threw his boxers into the hamper carelessly, and Nagito’s heart beat rapidly against his chest as he watched Hajime take one of his legs in hand and lift it. 

The smile on Hajime’s lips was bittersweet when he softly murmured, “I’m really the worst husband ever, aren’t I?”

“No. No, no, no, no, never, hhnn…” He trailed off in a moan when Hajime kissed down the underside of his thigh, his tongue flicking out against sensitive spots teasingly. His weeping cock was twitching desperately, practically begging to be touched. 

But Hajime disregarded it completely, honing in all his attention to Nagito’s thighs - kissing down the underside of one and groping the other, drawing weak, broken noises from Nagito. And from the way Hajime’s kisses went from small, gentle smooches to harsh, sucking bites, Nagito was positive it would leave quite the array of bruises on his skin. 

The thought somehow turned him on more. 

He struggled to stay balanced on the sink, using his one hand to cup the back of Hajime’s head and leaning his stub of a limb against the counter. At this rate, he was sure he could come from just Hajime’s lips on his thigh alone, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t be enough. 

Hajime kissed a few more marks down his bruised thigh, before lifting the opposite one and giving it the same exact treatment. Nagito let out small, “mm’s” and, “yes’s” as Hajime lavished and gave love to his pale, trembling thighs. He hadn’t been given this much attention in so long, and a part of him feared if Hajime would ever bother to do this again. 

And then suddenly, in the midst of Hajime’s worship, a kiss was being pressed dangerously close to the rim of his hole and as blissed out as he felt, he couldn’t help but yelp in surprise. 

“Look at you.” Hajime muttered, his voice smooth like dripping honey and his smile cocky. It turned Nagito on endlessly. “You’re so ready for me.” 

“A-Are you going to b-bring me to bed?” Nagito stammered, feeling his cheeks warm up and his heart beat fast in anticipation. That must’ve been what Hajime meant, right? Because he is ready for him, so, so, so ready. 

“No.” When Nagito’s eyes widened with confusion and some panic, he quickly added, “Not yet.” 

He let out a weak, startled noise when Hajime abruptly shoved both his thighs up towards his body, practically pinning them to his chest. Nagito could do nothing but brace himself against the counter of the sink, panting heavily as Hajime ducked down and began to lick around the rim of his entrance. Was he going to…?

His muscles clenched when Hajime planted a kiss right to his hole, a cry escaping his lips and a full-body tremor ripping through his body. Hajime chuckled softly, the noise tickling his hole and Nagito could only whine, weakly canting his hips towards Hajime. A silent plea for more.

Hajime understood, because of course he did. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t done this many, many times in the past, and he could even feel the slightest bit of relief that Hajime hadn’t forgotten how to read his body. Not like he could’ve forgotten in two months but, well. Nagito got nervous.

And even with the tease of Hajime’s teeth around the rim of his hole and the kisses laid on his thighs, he wasn’t sure that anything could have prepared him for Hajime’s tongue plunging deep into his hole immediately after laying the kiss right on his entrance.

Nagito’s entire body jolted, and he let out a sound somewhere between a gasp and a moan, throwing his head back in ecstasy and delighting in the feeling of Hajime’s tongue delicately swirling around in his hole without pause. Fuck. He hadn’t made noises like this in so long. He hadn’t felt this good in so long. 

“P-Please, Hajime, a-ah…it f-feels s-so good…” He could barely get out any words with the way his voice trembled on every syllable, and a part of him was burning with embarrassment but the other, larger part could hardly care, he felt so fucking good.

Nagito watched in blissed-out fascination and arousal as Hajime ate him out from underneath, his face completely obscured from the fact that he was nestled in between Nagito’s legs. His body shuddered almost violently when he felt Hajime’s tongue graze that part of him, and it was clear Hajime had felt the reaction because he was already smiling into Nagito’s skin. 

“Legs up,” He said, pulling back slightly before releasing his bruising grip on Nagito’s thighs. He almost felt disappointed, if he was being honest, but nevertheless understood what Hajime was trying to ask and let his legs rest on his strong shoulders. 

He glanced up just in time to see Nagito’s bottom lip softly jutting out in a pout, and laughed quietly. “Hey, it’s gonna be worth it, I promise.” He laid a gentle kiss against the side of Nagito’s thigh before saying, “Get the lube. Should be behind you.”

Nagito paused, his heart speeding up in even more anticipation, because this definitely meant Hajime had all the intentions to fuck him at one point but he didn’t want to seem too enthusiastic, rushing and scrambling and probably falling off the sink in the process of getting the lube. 

So instead he opted for a quick nod, but just as he was twisting around to reach behind him, his husband’s head had dipped back beneath his legs, and his tongue was back in his hole and licking deep, deep inside him as if he hadn't just stopped to give fucking orders to Nagito. 

“Ah - mm! Oh, Hajime…fuck…” He whimpered, and with how much he was shaking, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to keep his balance on the sink while somehow retrieving the lube. 

He bit his lip, hard enough for it to tear before letting out a broken exhale and turning his shaky body back around to get to the lube. As Hajime roughly fucked him with his tongue, he found the lube quickly - among various other medications and soaps they had, it had stood out pretty obviously and if Nagito weren’t getting fucked out of his mind with the warm, sweet tongue in his hole, he’d have half a mind to question how the hell it got there. 

It was luck , he concluded, just as he was twisting back around to face Hajime but the moment he had resituated himself, Hajime’s tongue was grazing against his sweet spot and he felt his vision go white. He cried out, the bottle immediately slipping from his hands and Hajime stilled. 

“No, no, please,” He begged, his hand frantically finding Hajime’s hair and pushing his head in deeper between his legs. His jaw clenched. He needed Hajime to brush that spot again, more than anything. Anything, anything, anything-

“Hajime, please, again.” He whimpered pitifully, legs tightening around his shoulders to the point where they pressed into his neck. This seemed to spur Hajime on and snap him out of whatever stupor he’d found himself in, because he was groaning and immediately back to eating him out.

His tongue easily found the spot again, and Nagito felt the world tilt on its axis as he clenched around the skilled, dexterous curl of Hajime’s tongue on his prostate. His sounds were nothing but broken whimpers of Hajime’s name, and his pleasure a white, burning heat inside his abdomen. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could last, and even worse - he wasn’t sure if Hajime would let him finish before he gave him the real thing.

But then suddenly, a hand was wrapping itself for the first time in what felt like ages around his swelling cock and he felt himself cry out, muscles clenching hard around the tongue flicking against his prostate. He could only barely register the feeling of his release building up inside his core before everything went white.

He came onto Hajime, with his head tipped back and his hand tangled up in Hajime’s brown locks, basking in the first orgasm Hajime had given him in so long. And it had been incredible. He let out a drawn-out moan as Hajime kept lapping and stretching his hole with his tongue, coating it in his saliva as Nagito finished onto him. 

Fuck trying not to look too enthusiastic, because it felt like he needed this, needed Hajime more than he needed air. 

As soon as he was finished, and Hajime’s still clothed shoulder had been effectively covered in Nagito’s cum, Nagito babbled. “P-Please, Hajime, please, I want you so bad, I need you so much, please just take me, please….”

Hajime lifted his head from underneath Nagito, some of the remains of his cum splattered on his cheek, his lips red and slick with saliva. He licked it up, and Nagito watched him with parted lips before Hajime pulled back from him completely, leaving his begging hole wet and empty and his legs drifting down from his shoulders.

He couldn’t help but whine at the devastating loss of pleasure, even after he’d just came. Tears gathered in his vision as Hajime untangled himself from Nagito’s arm around his shoulder.  

He desperately reached out for Hajime the moment they parted, fearful that he’d gotten tired of him when Hajime caught his hand, pulling his wrist towards his lips and crushing a soft kiss onto the skin of his wrist. 

Nagito’s breath caught in his throat, and he blushed deeply as Hajime littered sparse kisses around his wrist. He let go of it gently before muttering, “Just sit tight, I’ll take care of you.” His heart fluttered in his chest stupidly. He was so in love with Hajime, it couldn’t be real.

Hajime flashed him a sweet smile, before taking his tank top in hand and stripping, letting the piece of clothing drop around his body and exposing the strong expanse of his chest. Nagito felt saliva pool in his mouth, swallowing thickly as Hajime approached him once more, and grabbed the hem of his own shirt to pull over his head. 

Once both their shirts were off, Nagito sat there, completely naked, and watching as Hajime reached down to retrieve the bottle of lube, the one that had inevitably slipped out of Nagito’s grasp while Hajime had been tongue fucking him from before. His mind was a white haze when Hajime slicked up his fingers and inserted two of them inside him smoothly, the movement made exceptionally easy from how wet and stretched Nagito already was. 

Nagito let out a squeal, then soft moans and whimpers as Hajime pleasured him with his fingers, brushing over his prostate every now and then, and curling his fingers against the velvety tightness of his ass. He was stretching Nagito open effortlessly, a small smile on his face as he slicked up his insides to the point where it must have been leaking . Nagito moaned, spreading his naked legs on the counter and leaning his head back as Hajime caged him in with his other arm against the sink. He was beginning to line kisses up the side of Nagito’s neck, and Nagito just couldn’t do it anymore.

“I can’t - Hajime, I can’t - I need you,” He nearly sobbed, after minutes of Hajime finger-fucking him, his cock back to being fully hard.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Hajime whispered hotly against his ear, smirking as if he had all the intention to make Nagito cum over and over from anything but his cock. Now Nagito knew he was teasing.

“Hajime, you’re - “ He choked, staring at Hajime with pleading eyes. “You’re being cruel. Please.”

Something in Hajime’s eyes seemed to soften, and suddenly, he was leaning in and pressing a bruising kiss to his lips, all but shoving his tongue into his mouth. Nagito groaned out against Hajime’s teeth, the push of Hajime’s skilled tongue distracting him from the emptiness of when Hajime removed his fingers, distracting him from the way Hajime was holding him to his chest and beginning to carry him off the sink.

Nagito’s legs locked tight around Hajime’s waist, mouth still on Hajime’s and arms around his neck as he waited to be carried off into the bedroom but instead, what he felt was his body being slammed roughly against the bathroom door. 

He gasped, a short, startled noise, before pulling back to stare at Hajime - half in arousal and half in confusion. 

“I’m gonna fuck you against the door,” Hajime said simply, before impatiently pulling on his pants, the task difficult with his other hand supporting the underside of Nagito’s leg. Heat spread underneath Nagito’s skin, and as he watched Hajime finally freed his cock from his boxers, and he was relieved to see that Hajime was just as desperate as he was - his cock leaking and pulsing in his grip. 

He was quick to put his hands back underneath Nagito’s legs, bouncing him slightly to get a better grip on his body but in the process, his cock rubbed up against Nagito’s hole and Nagito didn't even bother to hold back his moan.

“Hajime, Hajime please, I’ve been waiting for you for so long, please, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me - “

“I know, sweetheart, I know,” Hajime pressed a small kiss to the corner of his mouth, then to the side of his trembling jaw, and really, his voice had no right sounding so fucking good in Nagito’s ear. “I will.”

He felt Hajime’s hands trail down to his ass, before lifting Nagito’s body up as if he weighed nothing, and soon enough, the tip of Hajime’s hot cock was pressing up against his fluttering hole, which was already twitching and dripping in need. “Are you ready…?”

“Yes! Yes, yes, I’m ready, please!!” He sobbed, struggling but failing to thrust his hips down onto the tip of his dick. Tears gathered in the corner of his eyes. This was what he’d been waiting for. Two months of nothing. Two months of absolutely nothing and now he was going to be fucked into oblivion, he knew it.

And with a short growl, Hajime finally, finally began pushing in, letting out a low groan as Nagito’s hole greedily swallowed his cock, taking in all of him. He felt he was being split open in the best way possible.

“You’re so fucking tight,” Hajime muttered, his voice trembling. He felt so full, so fucking full, and the feeling could only be described as euphoric - all the foreplay from before had stretched him open perfectly for Hajime. Hajime sank him down onto his cock, and he moaned shakily, his skinny body wracked with tremors the moment Hajime bottomed out. He had no idea how to express his gratitude, how happy he was that Hajime was finally with him like this so instead he thrust his hips down onto Hajime’s cock desperately, meeting Hajime’s eyes and pleading silently.

Normally, Hajime would wait for Nagito to adjust to the feeling before he began moving but Nagito was done with waiting. He needed this, and he needed this now. Hajime groaned out the moment Nagito bounced impatiently in his grip, and with darkening eyes, he understood what Nagito wanted. The hands underneath his ass tightened as Hajime, at long last thrusted, the movement fulfilling in every way possible. 

“I love you,” He whispered tearfully, and threaded his fingers through Hajime’s hair as Hajime set a steady pace of thrusts. He curled his full arm around Hajime’s neck and pulled himself close, while resting the stub on his other shoulder. “I love you so much, thankyouthankyouthankyou-” He cut himself off as Hajime kissed down his neck, biting down and sucking at his pulse points hotly.

Nagito let out quite the array of noises, all breathless and shrill, into Hajime’s skin as he buried his face into his neck. Hajime’s hands were lightly kneading his ass, his lips were moving against the skin of his neck, and the way he was rutting into Nagito, rattling the door behind them, was going to drive him fucking insane.

“AH!” He cried out the moment Hajime found his prostate, and he could barely register Hajime’s smile against his neck before he was fucking up into it without a second thought. Tears rolled down his cheeks, his desperation peaking, and he thought for a second that he could’ve died with the amount of pleasure he was feeling. His dick was a hot brand against Hajime’s abdomen, and he couldn’t help but grind his hips up into Hajime’s body. “Harder! Harder, please, harder!

“God, I love you, Nagito.” Hajime growled in response, and Nagito felt himself choke in emotion, having not expected the admission at all. “You’re so fucking hot, I love you-” He bit down on Nagito’s shoulder, sucking on the tender flesh and making Nagito cry out and quiver violently. Nagito’s arm tightened around his neck, replying short, breathless, “I love you too’s” into Hajime’s neck as his body shook around Hajime. His legs closed even tighter around Hajime’s waist as Hajime drilled into his sweet spot, over, and over, and over-

“Mmm, ah, oh god-“ He moaned breathily into Hajime’s ear, curling his toes and shutting his eyes as he desperately chased his climax, so fucking close yet so far. All he needed to do was reach. All Hajime had to do was finish him off, grant him mercy, fuck him harder-

“Hajime!” He cried, leaving a needy kiss on Hajime’s freckled shoulder before immediately digging his face back inside his skin. He rode Hajime’s dick, bounced on it with no inhibitions as Hajime fucked up into him with just as much ferocity. “Please, please, please-”

“Shh, I know, baby, I’m close too,” Hajime huffed, before pulling back from the bruises on Nagito’s neck to meet his lips in a passionate kiss. Nagito moaned into the kiss, feeling his walls clenching and spasming around Hajime’s cock as Hajime’s tongue swirled around his own. Drool leaked between their lips, and Nagito reveled in it.

    The sounds in the bathroom were obscene, and Nagito could have never imagined that this was how his night would turn out. Being pounded against the door, fucked like he was a toy, and kissed like he wasn’t going to see tomorrow. He whimpered when Hajime bit down on his bottom lip, tugging at it before pushing his tongue back into his mouth. 

    But when Hajime’s next thrust hit his sweet spot with a violence and possessiveness that wasn’t quite there before, he had to pull back for air, gasping brokenly as their lips parted, leaving a thick line of saliva. He was close, he was so, so close. He needed to cum.

    “Please, Hajime, I need - I need to - c-cum.” He sobbed.

    “Okay,” Hajime panted, his eyebrows dotted with a sheen layer of sweat. “Inside or-”

    “Inside,” It didn’t even take a second for Nagito to answer, and Hajime nodded, fucking up into Nagito and bodily bouncing him as if Nagito were a ragdoll in his hands. He grunted, cursing underneath his breath and Nagito felt Hajime’s thrusts grow increasingly frantic and erratic, fucking deep inside him.

“Ah, ah, ah!”

Nagito squeezed his eyes shut, tears streaming down the sides of his cheek and as their breaths mingled and Hajime’s lips suddenly latched back onto his neck, he felt a coil inside him finally burst. That was it.

He came for the second time that night, screaming out and arching into his husband’s body. His frame shuddered as he came all across Hajime’s chest, twitching in Hajime’s hold as Hajime kept fucking into him, chasing his own pleasure and finally, finishing inside Nagito with a soft moan. Nagito sobbed, his entire body trembling from overstimulation as Hajime spilled himself inside him, milking every last drop of his seed. They clutched onto one another, Nagito digging his nails into Hajime’s skin and clinging to him as if he’d disappear at any given moment as his walls convulsed around Hajime’s cock, taking in everything Hajime gave him. 

    When it was done and over with, and their panting breaths were the only sound that could be heard, he glanced up at Hajime, his cheeks flushed a violent pink and his eyes wet with tears. 

He felt so loved, so warm, so lucky. He's never felt so lucky in his entire life. 

Hajime breathed a hot exhale next to his ear that made him whimper, and his legs locked tight and firm around his husband’s body to tell him to please stay. Hajime understood, because his head lifted to give Nagito a soft smile, making Nagito break into a shaky one himself. 

He pressed his quivering lips against Hajime’s own, and their mouths moved gently together, their tongues meeting and intertwining. The kiss was tender, sweet - nothing like the rough kisses from before. 

Nagito whined softly into Hajime’s mouth, and his heart pounded with the knowledge that he loved Hajime, he loved him more than anything, he’d  dreamt of this for so long, he’d been waiting for this since the last time they’d been together, he loved him so, so fucking much it ached and he wanted to tell him. 

So when they parted back for air, Nagito buried his head back into the crook of Hajime’s neck and breathed, “I love you, I love you Hajime, I love you, I love you-“ 

He heard Hajime sigh and bring their bodies impossibly closer, a kiss being pressed to the side of his hair.

He sobbed and repeated it like a prayer, confessions of love spilling from his lips and filling the silence with a pained devotion. He clung to Hajime desperately and he waited for Hajime to give him a response, to say anything as he continued gasping and whispering broken, “I love you’s” into Hajime’s skin.

But nothing came.

Eventually, his adrenaline died down, and the heat rushing through his veins had settled down to a gentle thrum, until his voice was gone and the only sounds he could let out were small whimpers and murmurs of Hajime’s name. 

Hajime was silent above him, his face seeming to be deep in thought and his eyes slightly distant and far and Nagito felt himself stiffen when he realized Hajime hadn't said anything back to him. 

Anxiety clawed its way through his heart and it took hold of him when he suddenly cupped Hajime’s face in his shaking hand, forcing their eyes to meet.

Hajime's eyes widened slightly and they watched Nagito's wet, slick lips when he said, “I love you. Hajime, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you so much.”

Nagito pulled their foreheads together and barely made out, “D-Do you love me?”

Hajime's lips parted, and his distant eyes flickered down to meet Nagito’s warm gaze before they fluttered closed again. A soft sigh escaped him and suddenly, Nagito’s heart was pounding and his body was trembling and he didn't understand why Hajime wasn't speaking to him. What…What had he done wrong…? Did Hajime not love him?

It was just as Nagito feared. A switch had surely been flipped, and maybe there was a thought inside his husband’s head telling him, No wonder you went two months without fucking him. He’s fucking gross. You could do better, so, so much better…

Desperate for some kind of response, he had prepared to begin moving his hips again, take Hajime’s attention away, anything to make him say something and if Hajime shoved him off and let him fall to the ground, looked at him in disgust or horror, that’d be all the answer he needed, and he would stop. 

But then, before he could do anything, a pair of lips brushed against his own and he flinched, leaning back instinctively. The corner Hajime’s mouth lifted when he said, “I love you too.”

He dipped down to kiss Nagito’s lips before pulling back and saying reverently, almost decidedly, “Nagito, I love you so fucking much, I love you. You mean everything to me, I love you.” 

“Hajime,” Nagito smiled, relieved yet embarrassed at how he managed to take a few seconds of silence and warp it into something awful. I really am hopeless, he thought, before sighing contently and leaning his head against Hajime’s shoulder. “Why weren’t you saying anything before?”

“I was thinking.”

Nagito chuckled quietly. “Thinking about what?”

“About how the hell I was able to go on for so long without this…”

Nagito couldn’t even contain the giggle that escaped him, blushing deeply and feeling giddy and satiated inside. His stomach fluttered and god, he really had been worried about nothing. At one point, he thought he would’ve stopped doubting Hajime and feeling bad about himself, but he supposed it was too late for him. But as long as Hajime was there for him, he knew they would work through anything together…even if “working through anything” could mean anything from open communication to being fucked against the door.

They stayed locked in their warm embrace for a few more short minutes, breathing shallowly into each other’s ear before Nagito was growing tired of being held up against the door. It was also getting pretty gross. He lifted his head from Hajime’s shoulder to look him in the eyes.

“Hajime? I feel kind of disgusting-”

“Yeah, me too,” Hajime said quickly, and Nagito laughed, carefully setting his legs on the ground as Hajime delicately put him back on his feet. But the moment he tried to unwind his arm from around Hajime’s neck, his knees buckled and he stumbled forwards.

Hajime caught him effortlessly as he gasped and fell into Hajime’s arms, his legs shaking uncontrollably. He could feel Hajime’s release leaking down his thighs and it took everything in him to not get turned on from that alone . “Careful, now.”

“Aha,” Nagito breathed, glancing up at Hajime with half-lidded eyes and a grin across his lips. “I think you broke me, Hajime.”

“Geez,” Hajime muttered exasperatedly, but there was still a smile on his face as he took Nagito back in his arms, this time carrying him bridle style off towards the bathtub. Nagito yelped, clinging to Hajime before breaking off into short peals of laughter. “I think we’re both in need of a nice, long bath.”

“A bath? At 3 AM?” 

“Hey. This is your fault. Also, we kind of have no choice.” Hajime accused teasingly, before dumping Nagito into the bathtub. 

Nagito grinned up at Hajime, watching as he turned the knobs of the shower handle on. Warm water slowly began filling the tub. “My fault? How!”

“You had a wet dream and woke me up because you were masturbating with the door open.”

“But then you seduced me, Hajime,” He pouted, and Hajime’s face turned a dark shade of red before scoffing softly, his hand testing the water before twisting the knob once more, making the water just a temperature warmer. 

“I guess so…” Hajime sighed, before turning back to Nagito with a beautiful smile across his face. He stepped into the bathtub and sank behind Nagito, molding his body right into his and Nagito relished in the warmth.

“Seriously. We are never going to have a dry spell that long again, no matter what the Future Foundation does to me.”

“I’ll hold you to it,” Nagito crooned, before laying back against Hajime’s chest, closing his eyes as he let himself melt into Hajime. Hajime wrapped strong arms around his thin frame, nuzzling into his neck and muttering a short confession of love. 

So insecurities, and anxieties would remain. But it was nothing they couldn’t overcome, and though there were times when Nagito would come apart at the seams - when he would overthink, panic, and doubt, he knew in the end he would always come back into Hajime’s arms, shaking yet alive. 

So alive…

Nagito didn’t think he had ever heard Hajime’s heart beat louder against his own.