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The worst thought that Kyo has ever had in his entire life was the prospect that Ren could be subtle if he wanted to.
For a guy that was so physically intimate all the time — to not say overbearing —, Ren had a... way of getting Kyo out of his head that Kyo wouldn't notice before he was cuddled by Ren's side, a gentle hand caressing below his ear, his voice soft and low when he chuckled just in the place over Kyo's head.
He could... Stop, though. Because Kyo never knew what he was thinking and it was becoming a problem.
Like right now. Ren was so quiet that Kyo could hear his breathing, could hear the way his horns twitched against the pillow in a fight scene from the movie, the semi aborted snort in a gorey scene like he didn't want Kyo to think he was weird for laughing about it.
For the record, Kyo did think he was weird.
Not for laughing at a bloody scene, but for feeling so self conscious by Kyo's side. Even Kyo had moments where he'd start laughing in sad scenes because he didn't know what to do with himself.
He just didn't know how to say to Ren that the show of emotion made him much more... Approachable than he thought it did.
Ren looked at him shyly and scratched the one pale collarbone peeking out of his shirt.
“I, uh, I wasn't —” Ren started, rubbing his red nose and turning to get a few more glances out of Kyo “I was just thinking that human bodies don't really contort like that when... Being ripped in half... But I realize now that that doesn't sound any better.”
Kyo caught himself grinning but didn't really try to wipe it off his face when Ren looked at him again.
Ren grimaced and blinked sadly at Kyo.
“Sorry. I didn't mean to—” Ren bit his lip, turning slightly towards Kyo in the bed “That's probably not all that nice to hear.”
Kyo felt a little stupid for wanting to pet him so bad. Instead, he lifted a hand to pinch Ren in the cheek so he'd look surprised instead of heartbreakingly sad.
“What do I care about the little people on my TV?” Kyo pinched Ren in the nose next, watching in amusement as a flush covered the skin of his confused face.
Ren lifted his hands to hold onto Kyo's wrist gently, and didn't really complain when Kyo squished his cheeks.
And Kyo, for a second, stared at his hands. His bare hands. One glance at the nightstand would show Ren's rings there, along with a nail cutter and the black nail polish he had borrowed from Mari because Kyo had mentioned once how he liked painted nails.
Kyo, for the first time in a while, wondered if this is what people meant by getting heartburn.
Was Ren worried that he'd hurt Kyo accidentally so much that he'd cut his own nails super short?
“That's... Not what I meant.” Ren told him carefully, the words pressed against Kyo's palm “I just thought you wouldn't want me to say things like that. Like... It’s like I’m breaking the immersion or something.”
Kyo, because he was no better man than himself, grasped Ren's hands and smoothed his index and middle fingers, staring him in the face.
If he felt a little proud when Ren continued blushing until the neck, it was nobody's business.
“Well, it's true that you'd know how, right?"
That, evidently, was the wrong thing to say. While Ren's little frown made something in Kyo's chest twist, he was a little enamoured by his worry.
And THAT would stay between him and the moon.
Ren nodded a little, aggravated. So Kyo made sure to pull his wrist out of his hold and quickly hold his own, pressing Ren's hand against his face in a way that would be sure to hurt if he had his rings on.
Instead, all that he ever got was the warmth of Ren's palm against his cheek and Ren's blunt nails scratching in a spot in his neck that has Kyo sighing and closing his eyes.
When he opened them back again, Ren was teary eyed, with the most lovestruck look Kyo had ever seen in a person.
“You know how to hurt me.” Kyo whispered to him “So, that means you can protect me too."
Kyo watched as Ren gradually widened his eyes, his own reflection in the cute trembling colour of his eyes.
“I— Of course! Of course I...” Ren stopped talking and breathed heavily, looking stupidly hopeful “Can?”
Kyo snorted. What is this guy even doing, asking for permission from Kyo when he was basically cuddling him in his bed already?
Just because he wanted to be a little annoying about this, Kyo scooted closer and watched with a proud little grin as Ren startled.
Ren was warmer than he was, Kyo realised. Like, searing hot. The thigh that he pressed against Ren's leg was almost left scorched, even though he was wearing thick pants.
Kyo wondered if he felt like burning too. If Ren felt his insides boiling when Kyo moved his hand from his face to his neck, pressing the steady thumping of his pulse against his fingers.
He must've had, with the way his horns twitched and curled, almost like they were trying to get away from their owner. Ren closed his eyes, red in the face.
“What have you been doing all this time, huh?”
Ren didn't open his eyes to look at Kyo. Instead, he stared at their short distance like it was his impending death.
“I want you to be safe.” Ren told him softly “I don't want you to be scared of me.”
Kyo scoffed halfheartedly.
“As if."
He was sure that he saw Ren's left ear twitch, along with a stupefied expression in his face.
Kyo was sure that he never wanted to bite someone's ear before but...
“I'm... I'm being serious. I know I am... The worst at being serious, sometimes, but...”
Ren was getting teary eyed now. Oh no, oh no...
“Y-You said that you didn't want anything to do with aliens. And I thought... And I thought that maybe I did something wrong?”
Oh my god.
“But... I don't want you to hate me. I never wanted— I want to be good for you. I want you to want me...”
Oh my fucking god.
“S-So... So, let me try? Please?”
Kyo was going to fucking collapse.
Ren made a small worried noise when Kyo sighed heavily and moved his trembling hand away from Kyo's neck.
What Kyo hated —or loved, he couldn't tell anymore— the most was the way Ren startled when Kyo glared at him.
Tried to glare, anyway. Just how much did Ren like him that he was so ready to cry his eyes out with a single look?
Because, and only because Ren was so close to tears, Kyo was hasty and didn't think much before leaning in even closer.
Ren's little panicked noise was the cutest thing Kyo has ever heard and so was the way Ren tried so hard not to move when Kyo plastered himself to his side, moving to hold both sides of his face.
Kyo was sure that he stopped breathing as well, in the off chance that it'd distract Kyo.
God...
So Kyo heaved a trembling breath and leaned the rest of the way in.
For the first five seconds of the kiss, Kyo felt like he had just punched himself in the head.
And when he leaned away, Ren opened his eyes slowly and looked at him like he hung all the stars in the sky. Or rather, like he made them himself, thinking of how Ren would like to see them every night.
Or something.
Kyo groaned something incomprehensible in the back of his throat and leaned back in, taking Ren's mouth in his like a starving man.
Ren, bless his heart, moaned something sweet in Kyo's mouth; something that had his heart dancing salsa in his chest.
The poor man was putty in Kyo's hands. Ren had opened his mouth when Kyo had nudged him to, had let him suck in his tongue, had groaned and whimpered when Kyo bit on his lips, when he leaned away to see in just what state he had left him.
And Kyo took some time to notice the arms by Ren's side, unmoving, like someone who was waiting for permission to touch.
Like someone who wanted to be good for Kyo... Christ.
“Say... Ren,” Kyo started, breathlessly, from where he was resting his forehead on Ren's shoulder, trying to get his head back in place “If I already have you, what would I want with some other alien?”
Kyo could hear when Ren swallowed around nothing and had to stop himself from kissing him senseless again.
“Huh?” Ren uttered, sounding so dazed and confused that Kyo almost laughed.
He tried his best to ignore the warmth in his chest when he raised his head to look at Ren and Ren was already looking back, under hooded eyelashes.
“If I have you...” Kyo pronounced slowly, willing himself to not feel that smug about the way Ren's eyes fell to watch him speak “I wouldn't want anyone else. Right?”
And slowly, he watched the realisation show up in Ren's face, his stomach flipping with the development.
Oh, and there it was. An ear twitch. Kyo wondered, briefly, if that was Ren's way of showing his emotions, if Kyo disregarded the way his horns seemed to move along with his expression changes every now and then.
Kyo thought, for a second, if he was so embarrassed that he couldn't control the way he expressed it.
The next second, he had the ear in his mouth, his licking operated in a way that had the next twitch directly in his tongue.
Ren made a noise like he was conflicted on if he should push Kyo off or just let him have his way with him. Not a boring minute for him, huh?
When Kyo leaned away, Ren looked a little desperate but like he didn't have the words to explain it properly to Kyo.
“What...” Kyo felt like a dirty little bastard for loving the way he sounded breathless “What did you mean by...”
Kyo, for once in his life, decided to take a little pity on him. Just a little bit.
He leaned in and kissed Ren until his own head felt fuzzy. He couldn't take it out of his head that Ren now tasted the same as he did because they've been kissing so much.
Kyo leaned away when his chest started to hurt and breathed in heavily so that Ren would follow him.
Ren did, of course, albeit more steadily, even though he looked a second away from passing out.
Kyo pecked his lips once or twice, pressing close enough so that they'd be chest to chest. Ren looked at him with trembling eyelashes.
“Touch me.” Kyo requested.
Ren didn't need to be told twice. He immediately embraced Kyo with his arms, hugging him so tightly that Kyo worried they'd start breaking the laws of physics soon.
Kyo let him, though. He let Ren squeeze him to death — if his death was short-lived and had no pain involved.
Permission was all that Ren needed to squeeze Kyo's waist in another kiss like he'd die otherwise.
Kyo burned under his touch, all over. He burned with the hand just below his ass, and straight up caught on fire when Ren hiked him up with brute strength, bringing him closer, deepening the kiss.
“Tell you what,” Kyo whispered against Ren's mouth, pecking him again after seeing the dreamy look he had on “I'll tell you how I feel about you if you tell me how you feel about me first.”
Kyo was holding himself by the arms, around Ren's head. Besides that, all of his weight was planted against Ren's body.
So there was no way he could've missed how the muscles in Ren's stomach constricted and relaxed under him, the hand that he had in Kyo's waist squeezing momentarily.
“I feel like I'm being scammed.”
Kyo fake-gasped.
“How dare you?” He exclaimed, glaring at Ren even though the close proximity didn't really enhance the animosity “You want to know, don't you?”
Kyo definitely didn't swoon when Ren grinned, lazy and sated.
“Yeah.” Ren agreed with Kyo easily, “I want to know everything about you.”
Kyo startled with his admission, blushed and squinted at Ren.
“Okay, now you're just—”
“I like you.” Ren was quick to tell him, something that Kyo was incredibly thankful for and also miserably embarrassed about “I... Really, really do. I love you, Kyo. And I want you to—”
Kyo covered his mouth with a hand, panicked.
“Want you, yes, I know.”
Ren, like he knew that Kyo was embarrassed about his easy affection, looked vaguely amused for a second, before trying to go back to his wide, worried eyes.
Kyo glared at him and hoped that it looked somewhat convincing.
“... I can't?” Ren asked him softly, teasing, like he just couldn't get enough of Kyo.
Kyo found that thought absolutely revolting and it did nothing to his innocent, totally not hurting, little heart.
He sighed heavily and tried to push the nervousness away after seeing Ren's ear twitch, a hopeful little look doing much to mess with his insides.
“I... I do.” Kyo couldn't bring his voice above a whisper so he tried his best to keep looking Ren in his eyes “I do want you. I... Like you... Uh, too.”
Kyo had the privilege to watch Ren flush red again, opening his mouth and surprise and not being able to say anything.
Kyo snorted, even though he felt much the same.
“Why are you so surprised?"
Ren legitimately could not answer him, blinking his wide eyes at Kyo like he was hallucinating or something.
What's with this guy? They've been kissing for the past ten minutes. How is that easier to deal with than Kyo just telling him the same thing those kisses did?
Still, when Ren closed his eyes and took a long breath in, Kyo let him, silently. He watched him breath slowly, the hand still in his neck feeling the pulse that did not match his breathing pattern at all.
He raised that hand to touch one of Ren's ears, completely flushed with blood and warm in his fingers.
Ren squeezed his eyes further and tightened his hands in Kyo's waist, breathing shakily before moving his head like he wanted Kyo to continue his ministrations.
Kyo stared at his face with renewed interest, and with a blush of his own covering his cheek and warming his chest.
He moved his hand delicately across Ren's ear, circled one of the earrings, put the tip of it in his mouth just to see Ren squirm under him.
Then, Kyo moved his bangs away from his face. He couldn't help the little chuckle when he realised that Ren's forehead was red too.
Ren opened his eyes when Kyo was halfway in considering kissing him there, licking him under the eyes and taking a bite out of his cheek.
He looked slightly confused by the frown on Kyo's face but like he was so happy to be in his presence that he didn't mind much.
Kyo kissed him until Ren was groaning in his mouth, clinging to him like a lifeline and looking at him like this was the best day of his life.
Shit.