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Tony wasn’t sure where his need to see Steve was coming from. Sure, he’d teased the younger/older man that they would miss each other, but he hadn’t expected the ache that settled in his stomach when he’d made it back to his tower. In the number of hours it took for him to drive home, Tony felt wrung out and sore, ready to sleep for a week. And somewhere in his mind he knew, the only thing that would make him feel better would be Steve. But Tony, being Tony, brushed that feeling aside.
There was work to do – he and Steve were both busy in the wake of Ultron. Steve, along with Natasha, had to train the new recruits. Tony, along with Pepper, had a company to take care of. (Pepper was a Goddess who took every rise and dip in stock prices [directly related to how the media viewed Iron Man on any given day] like a champ.) And Tony had to work on the suits. The Iron Legion had gone up in flames, but it was still something Tony felt could work.
A week after he retuned home, aside from when he’d nearly died from the arc reactor, Tony couldn’t remember when he’d felt worse. He was tired, distracted, and irritable, which, wasn’t helped at all by Dummy who kept dousing him with the fire extinguisher – though this time it was totally necessary as he’d managed to set three small fires. He was standing in the shower, the water quickly cooling because he’s been standing there so long, when he ran his hand over his arc reactor.
The only time he’d heard of people feeling this miserable, every second of the day, was when someone had been separated from his or her soul mate. But it didn’t make sense. He and Steve had been apart before. It couldn’t be Steve, Tony was certain. It didn’t make sense; it had to be someone else that he must have passed in Sokovia or maybe on the Hellicarrier…
But no… Steve was constantly on his mind. If he was actually able to focus on work for a moment, then Tony had Steve filled dreams. And if he did manage to have a peaceful nap or something a little longer (not a full night’s sleep - he couldn’t remember the last time he had a full night’s sleep) then he doodled little Captain America sketches on napkins or scraps of papers.
No… Tony could remember the last good night’s sleep he got. It was the night he and Steve were forced to share at Barton’s farm. Steve had shucked off his uniform and crawled into the small bed like it was the greatest bed he’d ever had the pleasure of being in. In turn, Tony had laid down on the edge of his side and while he did sleep, he made sure to never turn over or kick the other man. And still, it was the best night’s sleep he’d had in ages.
Even dreaming and thinking the way he was, Tony knew he was wrong. There was no way Steve was his soul mate. He’d shared a bed with the other man and, sue him, let his eyes linger on any exposed skin he could see. And no, they did not share a soul mark.
One week seemed to age Tony a millennia. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and didn’t recognize himself. And so, just ten days later, Tony found himself making his way back upstate.
“How you doing, Natasha?” Tony greeted as he parked his convertible.
“Well,” Natasha said with a small smile. “And you?” Tony shrugged in response and Natasha seemed to pounce on him because of it. “You look awful.”
“Well aren’t you kind…” Tony rolled his eyes, but followed the younger woman into the training facility.
“For what it’s worth, he looks just as bad.”
Tony took a deep breath. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he insisted.
“Stupid men…” Natasha muttered just loud enough for Tony to hear. She led the way down a corridor that Tony hadn’t been in before and didn’t recognize. He was going to have to have Wednesday take another look at the facility’s blueprints. “No seriously,” Natasha said several minutes later, forcing Tony to stop in the hall. “You’re here for a reason.”
“I thought I’d check on how things were going.”
“You’re here to check on Steve.” Tony opened his mouth to respond but Natasha cut him off. “You forget I’ve known you a long time.”
“And you forget I barely know you.” Tony interjected. Even though she’s stabbed him in the neck with a needle, Tony always looked back on Natasha’s time as Natalie Rushman fairly fondly. It helped that she and Pepper got along well and that she had kicked Happy’s ass in the ring. Remembering that always made Tony smile. But the Spider still had her secrets.
“I’ve seen you self-destruct and create life. You and he could be good together.”
“I’m not good for anyone.”
“You will be good for him.” Natasha touched Tony’s arm for just a second; it was more of a graze than anything. “I’ve learned to have faith in you. Have some in yourself and go get him.”
But Tony still wasn’t willing to give in to reason. “Why now? And I’ve seen him Natasha… we don’t share a mark.”
“You’ve really seen everywhere?” she leered and Tony didn’t respond. “And there are stories… and movies and texts and papers… people who are ready, who are in a good place to be with their soul mate. Maybe this is it?”
“I don’t think I’d be quite that-“ Tony abruptly cut off as Steve exited a room down the hall and walk toward him and Natasha. Tony couldn’t help but stare as Steve neared. He looked almost as tired as Tony felt. He was bent a little at the waist as he walked, as though it was too difficult to stand straight and he had dark purple bags under his eyes. But more than that, Steve’s hair was cut short, so short, was nearly bald.
“Can super soldiers lose their hair?” Tony quipped before he could stop himself.
Steve seemed startled to heat Tony’s voice, as if he hadn’t seen him in the hall even though he was walking straight towards him. “Um, well,” Steve faltered and then ran a hand over his blond head. “There was a training mishap… and yeah… For some reason it’s not growing back as fast as expected. Considering how I heal, we thought it would be back to normal already.”
“Well, as much as people insist that bald is beautiful, I gotta tell you Cap, it’s not a good look for you.”
“Yeah, thanks Tony…” Steve frowned and turned to look down the hall. “I’m just gonna…” He looked at the door he’d exited out of and his eyebrows creased. “Did I, or was I?” he asked himself and turned again. When Steve’s back was to Tony, the engineer nearly chocked at what he saw. There, just above Steve’s hairline, normally covered, was a set of marks that looked very familiar.
“Fuck…” Tony whispered. For a second the hall spun and he felt Natasha grab his arm in a tight grip. “I’m fine, woman!” he insisted, trying to pull away. Natasha raised one perfect eyebrow, probably in response to being called woman. “It is you,” he continued after an awkward moment of being stared at.
“It’s me what?”
“It’s you… the mark you have on your scalp?”
“Oh that,” Steve reached up to rub at the back of his head. He looked nervous all of a sudden. “Yeah a weird place for a soul mark. For years ma and I were convinced I didn’t have one. But then something happened, don’t remember what exactly, but ma shaved my head and saw it was there.”
“I have the same mark,” Tony blurted out when Steve finished talking. “It’s true, I do,” he insisted at Steve’s disbelieving look. “Right here.” Tony tapped his arc reactor.
“You don’t need to tease me.” Steve frowned and moved to walk down the hall.
“No, seriously-“ Tony reached out and grabbed Steve’s arm to halt him. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Natasha slink away. He appreciated her giving them a moment alone. “I’m not teasing you. I had the same mark here in the center of my chest.” He let go of Steve to pull out his phone. He was certain he had a picture of himself from before he became Iron Man.
“When I was a teenager I thought the mark looked a little like the constellation Orion. You know- a box with three stars for the belt? For maybe half a second I thought about studying astronomy, but engineering is my first love.” Tony paused to look away from his photo gallery to look at Steve. “I’m really not teasing you; I swear.” Trudging through tons of photos, he gave Steve a sincere smile. “I can prove it…” Finally he found an old photo; it wasn’t even in his gallery, instead it was a tabloid photo from the time he went skinny dipping in Greece. He enlarged the photo to show off the mark and give him a little bit of modesty.
“See,” Tony said, tapping the screen. “It was right here.” He tapped the arc reactor again. “And it looks just like yours.”
“I… I’m sorry Tony, I have some work I have to do.” Steve was pale as he backed away.
“What if we start with dinner?” Tony quickly asked before Steve could disappear. “it would be so easy to be my usual pain in the ass self, but I’m tired and I kinda can’t remember the last time I ate… so, what if we just start with dinner and go from there?”
Steve nodded once and then moved closer to Tony in the hallway. “I uh… I don’t know anyone who was actually happy with their soul mate… or at least no one who lived long enough to really try.”
Tony frowned in understanding. “Well, I can’t say I won’t screw shit up. You’ve seen, I’m really good at that.” Both he and Steve laughed a little at that. “But I can try, we can try. So… dinner?”
“Yeah,” Steve smiled at Tony and all was right with the world. “Let’s start with dinner.”