Chapter Text
If anyone were to ever ask Kim Seokjin which color he thought would best describe Choi Hayun he would answer, without any doubt, that it was golden.
If there was a time in his life where he didn't know the girl he couldn't ever remember. They had been neighbors since birth, their mothers were best friends since high school, their fathers even worked together.
'Ha' meant summer , 'Yun' meant sunlight.
Like the fulfillment of a prophecy, she was the Sun of Seokjin's life. When her light reflected above him all the darkness disappeared.
They started dating during their high school senior year, it was also the year she dyed her hair to a golden blonde. She said she wanted to match the stars stickers she had glued at her room's ceiling at 17, as well as the lions that symbolized her astrological sign.
During college they moved in together into a tiny apartment with barely enough space for the two of them, but it was just the beginning of the story they hoped to write together.
Hayun was a photographer, Seokjin was her muse.
People normally found it strange for the man to be the model while the woman was behind the lenses.
Sometimes Seokjin couldn't help but agree with them. It was indeed strange , not because of prejudiced views formed by the patriarchy, but because Hayun was the one that shined the brightest, she was the one that should be immortalized as a piece of art, not him.
When they were still in the middle of finishing college, during a movie night in their apartment, with way too much wine, they decided to abruptly get married the next day.
It was her idea.
They were both inebriated, she made the suggestion as an obvious joke, but after the words came out of her mouth it felt like everything started to sober up, and when he answered "Yes", he was never so sure of anything during his entire life.
On the next day they got married.
They told their families as a surprise. The next week was Christmas Day, both their families would be reunited together to celebrate as they always did every year.
He's sure he never saw them so shocked. His mom couldn't stop scolding them about how young people these days were getting each day more inconsequential and calling him a punk, while Mr. and Mrs. Choi did the same with Hayun, the rest of the family just laughed confusedly and congratulated them.
Seokjin and Hayun were ready for a long journey together, and she would always photograph every step of the way.
"I don't think I've ever asked you why you like photography so much…" he wonders out loud, watching as she takes her cameras, portfolios and photography albums out of the boxes that were distributed all over the place.
They had just moved into a new apartment, this time it was bigger, still not anything luxurious, but good enough for them.
"Hmm," Hayun takes a minute to ponder about the question, "I like how they register the moments… Think about it, I wouldn't know how I looked as a kid if my parents hadn't taken pictures of me, I wouldn't remember how you looked at 10 years old if we hadn't be forced to take pictures," she laughs nostalgically, "It's like there are things that just to have them stored in your brain isn't enough. I take pictures of the stars 'cause they look pretty, I take pictures of you 'cause I love you, I take pictures of random moments when we are just laughing 'cause I want to remember them, to eternalize them, you , us. Time may pass, people come and go, but even after we both die it will still be registered in the history of the world. The day you made me laugh so much my stomach hurt, all 'cause of your silly and probably 'not-even-that-funny' jokes… It will always be there."
She shows him the polaroid picture of the exact moment she is referring to. He laughs and wraps his arms around her waist, hooking his chin on her shoulder, "I guess we should probably take a picture right now…"
Hayun smiles, she takes the Polaroid, which was her favorite for moments like this, and does as it was told.
"Smile!" she commands, in an excited tone.
And they both smile, of course they do.
Things for both of them happened really fast, at 25 they were already waiting for a baby, it was a girl.
The process of the pregnancy was not an easy one, Hayun's health condition was getting worse day by day. The doctors said that the labour process would be one of high risks, she insisted that she wanted it to keep going.
Seokjin doesn't need any camera footage to perfectly remember everything that happened that night.
Hayun was lying in the hospital bed before going to the operation room. He had never been more nervous in his entire life and he wasn't the one whose life was at risk.
"Stop looking at me like that," her voice was serious, "You know, I'm ready for whatever happens, okay? Please don't be like that… I don't want the first time Bora sees her dad to be when you are looking upset… I want her to see your smile," she looked awful, her blonde hair was fading out, her skin way too pale, but she still had a smile on her face, "Get the Polaroid camera… We need a picture to register this moment!"
Seokjin got the camera and positioned it just the way Hayun had taught him.
"Smile…" he says with a weak voice before pressing the button.
And she smiled, of course she did.
Hours later the doctors give him the news.
The baby had survived, but Hayun didn't make it.
Everything around him started spinning, everything happening way too fast but way too slow at the same time, he couldn't speak, he couldn't even breathe properly.
But when the nurses came to give him the child, he held her. He broke through all the pain within himself, crawled out of the dirty well he had fallen into and he smiled, of course he did.