Chapter Text
Raph was scared of a lot of things. Puppets, particularly large spiders, being alone; all of those things freaked him out, yes, but there was one thing that always plagued his mind. One thing that haunted his nightmares since he was a kid. Something that laid right beneath his surface every waking moment of his life and if it ever got out, the people around him would surely get hurt.
The few times he had let it slip was proof enough. He barely remembers them, the memories being dark and distorted, but he remembered the aftermath. The looks on his brothers’ faces, the fear and the shock. He remembered the way Splinter had yelled at him to control himself better. Had shamed him for losing control. Most importantly he remembered the feeling of blood dripping from his hand, fresh from Leo's broken nose.
He hadn’t meant to hurt him! Of course he didn’t! He never wanted to hurt anybody. Hell, he cried when he had found a mouse in a trap outside of a deli. But, Leo had said something- he didn’t remember what- but whatever it was it made him snap. He remembers growling out a warning for his brother to shut up, a feeble attempt to get the situation under control, but of course Leo didn’t listen. He never listened. He had repeated the insult, resulting in Raph lunging towards him, his fist colliding with his face before anyone had time to react. At least that’s what Donnie had recapped to him after Leo’s shrill scream had snapped him out of whatever trance he was in. After that it was chaos. Mikey was crying. Donnie was trying to get his twin to calm down. And, Splinter was of course yelling at Raph for punching his brother. Raph at the time was scared. Not because his dad was mad or the fact that he was going to be grounded for the next month. No, he was scared of himself. He was scared of the part of him that could do that to someone he loved.
So he buried that part of him, along with everything else he hated about himself. After that he worked extra hard to control his anger. Stress balls, meditation, he had even begged Splinter for a punching-bag in order to redirect himself whenever his brothers managed to get under his skin. It had become his number one goal. Never lose control.
Never.
But, sometimes his brothers made that really… really hard.
He and Leo were at a stand still, their eyes locked on each other. They had already been arguing back and forth for about thirty minutes now, Raph’s control on his anger slipping by the second. It would all be over if Leo would just admit what he did was stupid and reckless, but of course he was far too stubborn to do so. And, Raph was far too angry to let it go.
“Dude, I don’t get why you are so pissed off about this. We all got out fine! And, honestly the foot clan looked worse than we do. To me? This was a total success,” Leo says, his shoulders tensely shrugging. Despite his laid-back approach, Raph could tell he was getting just as angry as he was. Part of him wanted Leo to snap. For him to feel the satisfaction of riling him up to that point, but he knew better. He had to take the high road. Like always.
“Total success? Total success! Us barely scraping by is not a success, Leo. Mikey and Donnie nearly got hurt because you decided to rush in without briefing with us! You were lucky I was there to shield them from that ambush. Where were you?” Raph huffs, crossing his arms. Donnie and Mikey had already gone off to their respective rooms, leaving the two to argue in peace. “Oh yeah! You were getting your butt handed to you because you didn’t want to work as a team.”
Leo scoffs. “Me? Get my ass handed to me? As if. Only reason I got this,” he pauses, angrily pointing up at a dark forming bruise on his forehead, “is because you distracted me! You couldn’t let me handle this simple job by myself because you are still obsessed with being the leader! We get it! You are a control freak. But that doesn’t mean you can drag me down!”
Raph wasn’t going to lie. What Leo had said stung. But, he wasn’t going to let it get under his skin. He was clearly just angry and pulling shit out of his shell. So, he ignores the bubbling rage in his gut. “All I want is for you to take your job seriously, Leo. One of these days, your recklessness is going to get someone hurt. And, I don’t want you to live with that guilt-”
“Like the time you broke my nose,” Leo cuts in, his eyes narrowing. “Is that what we are talking about here? You still hold guilt for that shitty thing you did and now you are projecting that shit onto me? Is that what you are trying to do?”
Raph’s entire world freezes for a second, his heart pounding in his ears loudly. It felt like all of his blood had been replaced with molten metal as he steps closer to his brother, his signature growl escaping from his throat. Part of him screamed to calm down, the other screamed to punch Leo in his smirking face. It seems to take a second for Leo to fully realize what he had done, but when he does, his smug look is wiped clean off of his face. Replaced with pure genuine fear.
No. No, he was slipping. He couldn’t slip. As much as he wanted to reach forward and bodyslam Leo to the floor, he took a step back. He needed to get away. He needed to be far-far away from his family. He didn’t want to hurt them again.
Pushing past Leo, shoving him with a bit more force than he meant to, resulting in the slider bumping against the table, he rushes to the garage, ignoring the way Leo calls after him. It doesn’t take too long for him to find one of the keys to the Shell Hogs, since they were hung from a metal hook next to the doorway. He doesn’t bother to grab his fitted helmet. He didn’t have time. He could hear one of his brothers making their way to the garage, most likely to check on him.
He would deal with the lecture from Donnie about taking his inventions out without his permission later. Now? He just wanted to get away. So, he hops on one of the bikes, the engine starting with a steady pur after he turns the key. Pressing the little red button on the underside of the handle, the large garage door slowly opens to reveal the concrete passage that leads to the surface. Looking back one last time, he sees Leo rushing in, yelling something he couldn’t hear over the rumbling of the engine. Not that it mattered. Nothing he could say would stop Raph from leaving in that instance.
Before Leo could do anything, Raph was off, riding through the entrance right before the doors automatically closed. The entire time he was driving, he had one thing on his mind. One word. Monster.
He was a monster. None of his other brothers struggled with thoughts like these. Sure, Donnie had weird dreams of world domination, but Raph knew he would never purposely hurt any of them. He didn’t have urges to slam his brothers’ heads into walls to get them to shut up. He didn’t get so pissed that he had to physically restrain himself from hurting the people around him. Because he wasn’t a monster.
He takes a sharp turn onto the side of the road, parking it on the curb. He finds himself at the city park, the cool night air surrounding him like a blanket. It was pretty dark so he didn’t feel too nervous about being out without any form of a disguise. He wouldn’t be out here long anyway. Just long enough to clear his head so that he could go back and not hurt anybody.
Passing through the metal archway of the entrance, he takes a quick survey of the park, just to make sure there weren’t any humans to bother him. Last thing he needed was to deal with some teens or a homeless person screaming about a monster in the park. Luckily, it seemed to be just him and a large group of pigeons congregating around the pond. Letting his guard down, he continues on, keeping his gaze stuck to the concrete path, kicking at the occasional rock or two. Why did he always do this? Why did it always come to him having to run away in order to not hurt people. Sure, he was a great fighter and he knew how to use his strengths against his enemies, but it was different with family. He wasn’t supposed to hurt his family and yet he did. He always manages to fuck up and hurt every-
The clear sound of walkie-talkie static knocks Raph from his thoughts, his head whipping around to try and find the source. He thought he was alone. He hadn’t seen anybody! But, sure enough, he knew what he had heard.
He stops himself from calling out, gritting his teeth. He should just leave. Get out of the park and go home. At this point, most of his anger was gone anyway. He could just avoid Leo for the rest of the night. Turning back to the way he had come, he starts back, his pace much quicker than it had been before. He wasn’t running. Running would draw too much attention to himself. It was more of a power-walk than anything. He just needed to get back to his bike.
But, before he could even see the entrance to the park, he heard the sound of boots hitting the pavement behind him and when he turned to see where it was coming from, he was greeted by a group of at least twelve humans, all wearing the same black uniform. Most of them were holding different tools in their hands, though a few also had guns. Guns that were pointed right at him.
He knew not to move. Surely, if he moved one of the humans would pull the trigger, and while his scales were tough, he doubted they were tough enough to stop a bullet. So he freezes, his hands clutched at his side. He would only fight if they fought first. But, none of them move, until a woman pushes through them, her eyes looking up at Raph with a curious gaze.
“Fascinating. Here I was thinking that the claims of mutants running wild in New York were nothing but a hoax, but sure enough! Here you are. In the green, scaly flesh,” she hums, her arms crossing over her chest. “Boys, capture this one. And, don’t hurt him too badly, okay? I want him alive.”
As soon as she waves her hand, the men all move at once, pretty much splitting in half to surround him. One of them grabs at his arm, Raph quickly pushing him hard enough for the man to go flying into some of his comrades. He lets out a low growl at a couple who move to grab at him again, the humans briefly pausing to look at each other before going back in, this time to try and grab at his shoulders. He shoves back against them, earning a brief moment away from them.
This was getting ridiculous. Reaching down to his belt, he feels for his sais. However, his heart ices over in his chest when he realizes he must have left them at him, his anger clouding his mind enough for him to forget to resheath them before he leaves. And, he couldn’t use his power-jitsu without them! Patting at his entire body, he realizes the only thing he actually had on him were the keys to the Shell Hog. So, even if he wanted to, he couldn’t call his brothers for help.
His only hope was to fight off all twelve of the men, praying that one of them wouldn’t shoot him before he could get away.
Swinging his fist out, he manages to hit a couple of them in the head, making them stumble back. Of course, this does nothing because as soon as they're out, two more seem to take their place, like that dragon in one of the stories Mikey had read to him. But, he doesn’t quit.
One of the men, holding what seemed to be a cattle prod in his hands, swung the black stick towards him, landing an electrified hit to his knee, nearly making him fall to the ground. But instead, he grabs the plastic stick from him, snapping the stupid thing in half, throwing it to the ground. Another one tries this method again, landing a hit directly to his shoulder. Raph tries to swat him away, but soon enough yet another one hits him with another cattle prod, this time to his other knee. This gets him to fall to the ground, though he doesn’t stop fighting. He reaches out with one of his arms, swiping at their feet with his claws before one of them pulls a slip leash out of nowhere, wrapping it around his thick neck and pulling harshly against it, pretty much choking him.
Raph does the last thing he could possibly do. He yells out in a mix of panic and pain. Though, he knew to most it probably sounded more like a roar. Grabbing at the leather, he tries to rip it apart, to no avail. This couldn’t be it! He couldn’t lose. He didn’t know what these people were going to do to him! For all he knew, they were going to skin him alive and use his scales for boots or something! He needed someone to hear him. April. Maybe even Cassandra! At this point he would be happy to see anybody that could help him.
But, no one does. The only thing his yelling earns him is a swift hit of a rifle base to his forehead, knocking him to the ground, dazed. Seeing a pair of red stiletto heels walking towards him, he whimpers a bit in fear. What did this lady want from him? What did any of these people want from him?
He doesn’t get his answer. Before she can even say a word to him, his mind is going dark, his brain filling with static from the heavy blow it had received. He tries to fight it. He tries so hard to keep lucid enough to fight against his captors, but it was hopeless. Soon enough, his world fades to black.
⋆♜⋆
When he comes to, it is a slow and grueling process for his brain to start functioning again. But, when he gets it to start actually processing his surroundings, the first thing he notices is that he is lying on the floor of a room he didn’t recognize. The tiles were as spotless as the sterile white walls around him, bright fluorescent lights buzzing above him. The left side of his head was pounding, along with most of the rest of his body. He could barely move to sit himself up, leaning back to prop himself up against the cool wall behind him.
Where… Where was he?
Last thing he remembered was taking a walk through the park when-
Oh, shit.
It all came flooding back to him. The weird men in uniforms. The scary lady. Those creeps must have captured him.
Looking down at himself, he notices two cuffs locked around his wrists, their chains leading up to a hook on the wall he was leaning against. Reaching up, he first feels at his face, noticing how they had taken off his bandana, leaving his face bare. Then, he moves down to his neck, where a heavy leather collar rested. He felt like a dog. He felt like a-
A small beep comes from a metal door he had yet to notice. Which was weird seeing how much its red painted metal clashed against the white concrete walls. It swings open, revealing the same woman from the park. Now that she wasn’t hidden by the shadows of the night, Raph could get a proper look at her. She was tall, probably in her late-thirties, early forties. Her straight black hair was pulled up in a rather tight bun that rested at the crest of her head. She was wearing a lab coat along with the same ruby red stilettos she had been wearing at the park. In her arms, she held a white, plastic clipboard.
She looks down at him, her eyes scanning him before she puts on a sickly sweet smile. “I am so sorry about what happened in the park. If it had been up to me, I would have tranqed you, but those brutes always seem to want to take the hard way,” she says, a laugh following suit. “You aren’t too sore are you? I checked you over for any injuries and didn’t see any.”
Raph keeps his mouth closed, glaring up at her. He wasn’t going to talk to her. If he could handle the Krang, he could handle this lady.
“Aren’t in a speaking mood, are we? Understandable. I probably wouldn’t be in the greatest mood either if I were you.” She closes the door behind her, though she sticks closer to the wall farthest from him. Not that it mattered. If he even tried to lunge towards her, the chains around his wrists would stop him. “You are probably wondering where you are, correct? Welcome to the headquarters of the Earth Protection Force, or the EPF for short. Here, we make sure no one, or nothing, threatens the safety of our precious earth. You understand that, don’t you?”
Again, Raph says nothing. He had never even heard of the Earth Protection Force before, nor did he plan to stick around long enough to learn more about it. His brothers would surely figure out that he was gone, right? And, Donnie probably had a tracker somewhere on him.
“My name is Dr. Rook, though you can call me whatever you please. I am the lead scientist here at the EPF, put in charge of anomalies like you.” She looks down at her clipboard, pulling a pen from a pocket on her lab coat. “Now, let me see here… I just need some basic information from you to start. All of the fun, special stuff will come later. First things first, of course, what is your name? You do have a name, don’t you?”
Raph lets out a low growl in response, something he only used to warn his brothers that they were getting on his nerves.
Her smile shifts into a slight, disappointed frown. “I know you can talk. Your vocal cords are well-enough developed to utilize human-speech. This entire thing will go a lot more smoothly if you would just work with me here,” she sighs, shaking her head. She pauses, looking back down at her clipboard. “You show levels of basic human intellect. I saw it in the fight. While you look like a freak, you surely have enough of a human brain to act like one. So speak. And, maybe I’ll think about unchaining you. However, if you act like an animal, I’ll treat you like an animal.”
Despite really wanting to be unchained, he stays silent, his gaze moving to the floor. Talking wouldn’t get him anywhere. If anything, she would probably use it to get information that could hurt his family. He couldn’t let this crazy lady find them. So, he clenches his teeth, refusing to even say a word.
Her façade fully falls this time, her red-painted lips pulling into a full-blown scowl. “Fine, if you don’t wish to speak on your own terms, that’s your choice. We have our ways on making pesky subjects speak,” she grumbles, reaching back into her lab coat, this time pulling out a little gray walkie-talkie. Pressing the red button on the side, she holds it up to her mouth, her eyes never leaving Raph. “Rook to pawns, I need a few guards to transport Subject-0805 to lab 3. Over.”
Almost as soon as she was done speaking, a team of men dressed in the same uniforms as the men from the park came storming into the room, a few of them holding the same kind of slip-leashes from before. Panic starts to set in as they close in around him, giving Raph enough strength to struggle against their grabbing hands. But, it was to no avail. In a matter of seconds, they had the leashes around his neck, tugging him up as soon as they unlocked his restraints, replacing them with a pair of shiny handcuffs. He tries to resist as they push him out of the room, but a swift hit from what felt like a baton stilled him.
As he walks by Dr. Rook, she gives him one last candied smile. “I look forward to working with you, 0805. I believe me and you are going to have a lot of fun together.” An almost childish giggle bubbles up from her throat, something you would only hear from a deranged person. And, that laugh paired with her sickening grin… Well, it terrified Raph.