Chapter Text
Imola 2027
Every year at Monaco race, Max thought of Charles. In all honesty, there was always a thought for him every time he went by Ferrari’s motorhome or was in Italy. After all those years being rivals and almost friends, he knew Monaco had always been in Charles’ heart. He remembered kindly making fun of him when he’d saw his Ferrari with Monaco flag on it but he wasn’t surprised anymore. Nothing can be surprising from a man who has his formula one number on his car and his signature on the seats. Absolutely nothing.
He didn’t know why but after 3 years, there was still a part of him hoping he would comeback and race against each other again. Their rivalry was a missing piece in his life, they’d been together since karting and suddenly, he disappeared like he never even existed once in their life. But he did. He remembered each podiums they’d shared together. Even the ones where Charles was without him. He didn’t know why but he did.
But staring at Imola’s track before starting their first free practice, feeling his heart becoming a little painful and sour, maybe it was time to admit it wasn’t only their rivalry he was missing but Charles himself. He knew it was going to be worse at the next stop, Monaco. It wasn’t fair, Max had lost Daniel at the end of their 2022 season despite him still being around in his life and at the end of 2023 after robbing him another WDC, Charles also left but he had no reason unlike the aussie. He’d shaken his head, no, it wasn’t fair neither to say he’d been robbed because he deserved it. They’d fought till the end and despite how deceived he was, he’d been happy. Happy to see how Charles’ smile was genuine, bright but he’d noticed something was kinda off. He should’ve asked. Maybe he would’ve never left.
He looked at his phone, opening a conversation and sending a message to Charles. He didn’t know if he had seen them for the last years or if he’d changed his phone number, if a random and maybe creepy person was getting it. He’d send a text at every Monaco and Italian grand prix, each birthday. He also drunk texted sometimes, once saying he may have missed him and his stupid French ass before correcting himself by saying Charles was Monegasque and not a Frenchie. It was embarrassing but it didn’t matter anymore. It wasn’t like Charles was still in his life despite his want to.
This year, his mind was full of him. Maybe it was because he was going to turn 30 soon and he’d always imagined they would still be racing against each other, fighting for titles. Damn, getting older was making him more emotional and he didn’t like it. Everything was like a reminder that he wasn’t here anymore. He had something Max never had, Charles was like a sunshine, warm and bright. With him around, every place was like a warm home where he knew there would be a great and soft welcome. For the first time, he understood he’d always seen him like a safe place despite denying the fact they were friends because they weren’t. Or were they ? He wasn’t sure anymore. If someone asked him now, older and more mature, he would answer that yes, they’d been friends.
Winning in Imola as a Ferrari driver was amazing, he heard. But as a RedBull Driver, it was like Monza, you’re booed because you aren’t in red. Losing himself in his own thoughts, maybe he would’ve liked to win in Red alongside Charles and won’t even be bothered by being second on a podium as long as it was with him.
He laughed bitterly, If his young self was hearing him, he would disagree so hard. He had always thought he had to be the best, being first, being a world champion. He was a quadruple world champion now. But he was going to retire soon, he wasn’t planning on extending his contract again. It was ending next season and then, he wasn’t going to be an active F1 driver anymore. He was so sure of his decision but at the same time he wasn’t, not knowing what else to do.
“ Max !” Someone called.
He turned around, recognizing Lando’s voice. He tried to smile but seeing him in red next to Carlos was pinching his heart like the first time he got into Ferrari, knowing it shouldn’t after all this time.
“ You look lost.” Lando said.
“ You hope so you can try to get the pole.” Max smirked.
“ Of course.” The brit smiled, “ Winning here as a Ferrari driver is amazing ! I want to win. But let’s not forget this curse… Charles was the last one from Scuderia to win in Italy.”
“ I know. I ended third behind Carlos.” Max answered, “ I have to go or Christian is going to rip my head off.”
“ You’re his golden boy, he would never.” Carlos said.
“ Don’t underestimate him.”
Max smiled, leaving to go back into Red Bull’s garage. Yes, Ferrari never won again his home races till now. He tried to not let his mind slip out and think of something else than a race weekend. He had to think about Imola. Imola. Imola. Charles.
During the weekend, he got the pole but his heart was not really into it. His dad was there and would be more than annoyed if he wasn’t showing proudness. Unfortunately, his race didn’t go as great as everyone thought and he had to DNF due to his car’s reliability. He’d seen his dad reaction on the big screen, mad and deceived. Providing him a feeling od déjà-vu. It wasn’t his fault. He came back to Red Bull’s, deciding to take off his race suit before getting into the garage and watch the race. His dad talked about how deceived he was, Max saying it wasn’t his fault if the car was just shit today. There was nothing he could’ve done better to prevent it and he was too tired to end in an argument for things like that.
He saw live how both Ferrari’s went outside the track after hitting each other reminding him of some past scene. After seeing they were fine, he chuckled, thinking if him and Daniel years before at Baku. He’d been so mad. Again, Imola would not see the reds on the podium after another DNF. He couldn’t help but laugh, hearing George complaining about how he was not happy with his tyres. He wondered if one day, only one race, it would be fine for him. Checo had won followed by the Mercedes. Max felt happy for him, knowing he was going to retire at the end of the season. It wasn’t really the race he imagined but it was fine, he learned by the time going by that it wasn’t always going as we wanted. He’d to listen to his dad complain, telling him to do better in Monaco. Max was annoyed but agreed to be free as quick as possible.
Later that day, he went back to Monaco with Lando and Carlos who didn’t talk to each other most of the time. Max had to admit he held back his laugh, wondering how it was going to be tonight since they were literally living together. Maybe being engaged to a another driver wasn’t the best idea they had. But he knew it was going to be quickly forgotten as always. He’d seen way much worse argument between them and he was always in the middle, which was not the best place. Lando had spent countless night sleeping at Max’s place, complaining, sometimes crying. Maybe it was going to happen again this night. The dutchman learned he was bad at comforting people, putting even more doubts and trouble in his friend’s mind. He also learned it was better for him to not speak much and listen, showing he was here for him no matter what.
Once at his place, he was glad to be with Jimmy and Sassy again. He was going to stay longer than the rest of the season despite his house not being as warm as he wanted. After taking a shower, he went on the balcony, sitting and watching the city lights in the night. It was relaxing and great. He looked at his phone, seeing that Ferrari account had posted a story about their last win at Imola who had been by Charles, his heart being pinched again. Everything and everyone wanted him to think about the monégasque. He went on Charles’ account which hadn’t been updated for 3 years neither. Still in Ferrari colors, frozen on his world title.
They all tried to ask his family about him but it seemed like they were as lost as them or maybe they were just really good actors. He loved his family, Monaco, his team. Why would he leave so abruptly everything he cherished ? He couldn’t understand.
He'd rose up his head, hearing a sudden midnight rain. He smiled, remembering something he was maybe cherishing a little too much. Charles and him, dancing while it was raining at midnight, hugging each other, drunk but happy. They were free, enjoying their life. He sighed, missing this time.
He went back inside, the weather becoming a little too cold, going to bed where were already sleeping the cats. He petted them softly. He had nothing but them. He’d broken up with Kelly during the 2023 season and never dated anyone in the meantime, claiming he wanted freedom. He remembered how much of a drama it had been but as a lot of things, he didn’t cared. Now almost in his thirties, he was single but didn’t know if he was happy. Not because he wasn’t sharing anyone’s life but in general. He was enjoying his racing life but was it real happiness ? He hadn’t gotten an answer yet.
He received a message from Lando saying he was in the elevator. Max decided to not get out of bed, telling him he had the keys to get in by himself, which his friend did as most of the time. Knowing where to find him, the brit got into the bedroom, letting himself fall on the bed before trying to get Jimmy.
“ Can I stay here ? I don’t wanna kill my fiancé.”
“ You shouldn’t have crashed into him.”
“ I didn’t do it on purpose !”
“ I hope so !”
“ Fuck, why did I fell in love with my teammate ? It sucks.”
“ I can’t really relate to it.”
“ …I mean… Checo wouldn’t be your type at all.”
“ Who would be ?”
“ Lewis.” Lando smirked.
“ What the fuck are you saying !”
Max kicked him, making the brit laugh, proud of his answer like a child.
“ Okay, I was just messing with you. Even now, I would say…uhm…Daniel and Charles. “
“ Why ?”
“ Because they’re the only ones who were fine to deal with Mad Max before you became Super Max. But I don’t know, I have this feeling they’d always been the ones matching your energy the best.”
“ You chose someone who’s engaged and someone who disappeared quicker than Carlos in a social event.”
Lando stared at him, giggling at his sarcasm. Max never thought about his men’s type, he wasn’t attracted to them and wasn’t gay or bi neither. His dad would’ve had a heart attack or would’ve killed him otherwise. He was aware some fans were doing some weird shipping like himself and Daniel, Lando once talked about it, thinking it was way too funny to not share. Max had always been sure his friend was reading what the fans thought or were writing about him and Carlos.
“ You never said it had to be someone who was still on the grid.” He answered, “ I’m tired so let’s talk tomorrow. I want to sleep with you because you don’t know how hard it is to not sleep with someone when you’re used to it.”
“ You’ll do whatever you want anyway.”
“ I’m gonna take a quick shower, then I can come back and cuddle Jimmy.”
“ My place is almost yours so...”
“ Next step is redecorating some room because you suck at it.”
“ Fuck off Lando or you’ll go back home.”
The youngest chuckled as always, taking clothes he’d left the last time before heading to the bathroom. Max had taken a deep breath, looking at Sassy who came closer, purring against him and putting her head in his neck. She was cuddlier today but he wasn’t against it. She was so calming that he fell asleep knowing Lando would be totally fine without him, dreaming of a live where he was at Ferrari with Charles but even in his dream, he thought red wasn’t his color at all unfortunately. But it was definitely Charles’.
Max needed answers, what made someone like him who loved his life so deeply disappear ? How was it even possible ? Formula one had became more popular, he didn’t understand how he’d never been seen somewhere. Monaco was also small and Charles definitely had a face and car everyone knew. There was no way he stayed here. Maybe the question he wanted to ask the most was “ Why did you left me ?” but he wasn’t ready to admit it.