Work Text:
‟I Like My Body When It’s With Yours”
E.E. Cummings
————
i like my body when it is with your body.
it is so quite new a thing.
muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body.
i like what it does, i like its hows.
i like to feel the spine of your body & its bones,
and the trembling-firm-smoothness and which
i will again
and again
kiss.
i like kissing this & that of you.
i like slowly, stroking, shocking fuzz of your electric
fur, and what is it comes over parting flesh...
and eyes big love crumbs.
and possibly;
i like the thrill, of under me,
you quite so new.
————
When Tom is in between your legs, and weight pressed up against your chest and stomach, there was really no place you’d rather be. And tonight, is one of those nights. Your fingers raked through his curls, while your legs rested comfortably against his sides.
The way Tom kisses, is really an indescribable feeling. He doesn’t choke you with his tongue, nor does he let his hands wander to where you aren’t comfortable. Tom kisses with passion. He kisses slowly, swirling his tongue gently with yours. And when it becomes too much for you, he pulls away and plants lazy kisses along your jaw and neck; biting softly, and his silver tongue soothing it quickly.
“Mmm, Tom.” You mumble, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head. He hums against your neck, and brings his palm to your thigh; pulling it so that your heel was pressed into the small of his back.
His lips hover yours, and he smiles down at you; those damn eyes get you every time. Tom smiles down at you, and catches your lips with his. You respond happily, and that’s when he deepens this kiss.
He presses his lips just a bit harder, and rolls his hips a bit more into yours. And that’s when you feel his bulge against your thigh.
You and Tom have been together under a year, and haven’t really gone any further than kissing and occasionally feeling each other up. You were a virgin, and have procrastinated telling your boyfriend this. You always found a way to revert his advances, either by readjusting his hands or telling him you want to go actually watch the movie he rented from redbox. Tom, being the gentleman he was, would excuse himself to the bathroom to take care of himself, while you reheated the takeout. Tom didn’t really mind, but his hand was becoming a bit boring these days.
Toms free hand had a mind of its own, as it ran up your side, with a fair amount of squeezing. So you untangled your hand from his now messy hair, and brought the wandering hand back to your hip.
Tom sighs against your lips, and leans up, leaving you slightly breathless and blushing like a mad woman.
“What is it?” He finally asks, brushing the pad of his thumb against your cheek.
“W-What?” You reply after a few seconds, letting your leg fall back to his side.
He rolls off of you, and onto his side; propped up by his elbow. “Darling, we’ve been together for what, eight months now?” He says, running his fingertips over your collar bones.
You know what he’s after, and you feel the blush from your cheeks spread to your chest.
“And that means...?” You lie, not wanting to tell him just yet. You knew it was inevitable, but your once your insecurities take over, controlling what you say and do is challenging. You were confident, but everybody has things they’re insecure about.
“Whenever we’re getting intimate, you always seem to push me away.” He finally says, struggling so hard not to come off as an asshole towards you. That’s when he notices that your blush has extended to your chest. He knows that means you’re nervous. “Don’t get me wrong love. I love kissing you, I truly do. But I want to be able to be... closer to you.” While he says that, he entangles his fingers with yours.
But you cover your face with your arms, and feel the panic course through your veins. God, This was so embarrassing.
“I... I...” You start, but words fail. Tom knows about your panic attacks, and suddenly feels like the worlds biggest prick for putting this upon you. He began to rub your stomach softly, and presses multiple kisses to your shoulder.
“Shh. I’m sorry, darling. We can talk about it later, if you want? Do you want me to go get your book, and read out loud for a bit?” He rambles, trying to bring up solutions. But now, you know it’s time to tell him. Dammit, you’re going to put your big girl panties on and tell him.
As he begins to get up and search for the book, you reach out and grasp his wrist. His eyes meet yours, and the relief washes over you.
Tom Hiddleston is your boyfriend.
Tom has never done anything past your comfort zone.
Hell, Tom is basically the living example of the classic gentleman.
“I’m a virgin.”
Those three words that you had struggled with for the past 29 years, escaped your lips. And surprisingly, it felt amazing. And even more surprisingly, Tom just smiled. Resuming his previous position, he leaned in and gave you a chaste kiss.
“You must think I’m the biggest asshole in the world.” He states, pressing another kiss to your nose.
“You couldn’t even be an asshole if you tried, babe.” You retorted, earning a short laugh from him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” You say, cupping his cheek.
“Don’t be. You’re divine. I promise you darling, I will not do anything to you without your consent. You have my word.” He says, as he draws an invisible ‘x’ over his heart.
“You’re not going to think of me any differently, are you?” You ask.
“Of course not! I respect that. And I love you.” Tom says, flashing his signature smile at you.
You roll him over, so that you are comfortably sitting on his lap. His fingers trail over your legs once more, and you cup his cheeks with your hands. Leaning down, you respond to him by kissing him, and stating,
“I love you more.”
————
It was a little over a month, after you told Tom that you were a virgin. And he kept his promise; whenever you both ended up making out, he was more cautious of where he put his hands. You were thankful for that.
Tom had called you whilst you were at work; telling you to dress pretty and that he’ll be at your apartment at precisely 7 o’clock. He had a habit of surprise dates, in which he spoiled you rotten. After you hung up, a bouquet of roses were even sent to your desk! Your co-workers squealed, all being fans of your boyfriend.
By the time you got home at six, you quickly showered and slipped on his favorite dress, and a pair of sandals. It was Spring, so it should be a warm evening. Tom arrived at 6:50, dressed in his favorite white button up and dark blue slacks.
He takes you out to an outdoor cafe downtown, where local bands play. As the sun began to set, you convinced him to walk with you in the park. With his hand in yours, you rested your head on his shoulder while you both walked. You both just talked about your day, and about his new movie, Crimson Peak. His hair, which was currently dyed black, for the role, reminded you of Loki.
“Ya know, your hair looks strangely sexy, dyed black.” You commented aimlessly. Tom chuckled, and replied,
“Darling, you certainly have a thing for black hair.”
“I love your natural color, but damn. You know how to rock it.” You said, reaching up and running your fingers through the curls.
All of a sudden, a crack of thunder caused both of you to jump. Following the crack of thunder, rain started pouring down! Tom just looked at you, and you both burst in to laughter. Quickly throwing his jacket over your head, you both scrambled out of the park, and began running back to your apartment. With his arm around your waist and jacket over your head, you both were drenched by the time you rustled the keys out of your purse. Entering the apartment, you both stopped to catch your breath.
“Fucking hell,” he breathed, leaning against the door, with playfulness laced in his voice.
“Tom, we should’ve done The Notebook kiss!” You exclaimed, falling into his chest. “I think I’m going to have to breakup with you, and go find Ryan Gosling.”
He scoffed, and just cupped your cheeks together. With his lips hovering over yours, his hot breath caused your breath to hitch. The rain caused his shirt to become see through; and his toned stomach was now visible through the fabric. God, he even if he didn’t think so, he had an incredible body. Tom caught your lips with his, and you immediately melted into him. Wrapping your arms around his waist, you reciprocated the kiss. After a moment, you felt his tongue prod your lower lip; cueing you to let him in.
As his tongue grazed yours, the chill in your body was slowly being replaced by the heat that trailed from his hands. They grazed softly over your back, all the way to your rear; as he gave it a soft, playful pinch. You laughed into the kiss, feeling him smirk against you. Pulling back for air, the shear realization hit you like a damn truck.
You love him.
You really fucking love him.
And he loves you back.
Tom tucked your damp hair behind your ears, and looked at you with pure adoration. Biting your lower lip, you didn’t realize that your hands had bunched his collar in your fists.
“Flustered, are we now darling?” He joked, raising his eyebrow, mischievously.
You let out a breath of air, not even aware you were holding it in. Grinning, you knew that tonight was going to be the night. You wanted Tom to be your first.
“Take me upstairs.”
It took him a second to process the words. The way your large eyes stared at him with all the love in the world, made it difficult for him to say anything. Instead of replying, he reconnected your lips, conveying his emotions. He bent his knees a bit, and he picked you up by the thighs; you immediately wrapped your legs around his hips. His long legs strode up the stairs, holding you like your entire body was made up of glass. Once you reached your room, you felt your heart hammer in your chest as he carefully set you down on your feet, in front of your bed.
Tom leaned down and begin to plant kisses on your jaw, as you wrapped your arms around his neck; letting out breathy sighs. Once you felt his fingers toy with the zipper on your dress, your breath hitched.
That’s when Tom pulled away from your jaw, and noticed the all-too-familiar blush splayed out on your chest. He wanted to make you as comfortable and intimate possible, and that meant making sure you were okay with his actions.
“Do you trust me?” He asked, in a low tone.
You nod, eager for him to put his hands on you.
His mouth works on your neck, sucking lightly below your ear, as you feel the zipper being pulled slowly down. Toms fingers brush over your collarbones, and then to your shoulders. He slowly tugs them down your shoulders, until the dress is pooled around your feet. Sure, he’s seen you in a bathing suit before, but these circumstances were so much different. Just looking at your body made his pants tighter.
With Tom just taking in your body, you couldn’t help the thoughts running through your mind. You had stretch marks on your thighs, and some trailing along your hips. Again, you were confident, but there were some insecurities you’ve dealt with that you have yet to accept.
Wanting to rid him of his clothing, you leaned up and begin to kiss his jawline, and got to work on unbuttoning his white shirt. Toms hands traveled to your ass, as he mirrored your movements with his lips. Once the final button was popped open, you stepped back a little to remove it. You saw the lust in his eyes, as you trailed your hand over his slightly damp skin. Once they trailed down his happy trail, you slowly unzipped his slacks, and popped the button open. He took the initiative of dropping his pants, and you couldn’t help but let your eyes drop to his bulge. You’ve seen some of the untouched footage from Thor, and already knew that Tom was large. But seeing his arousal up close, you couldn’t help but think of how much it would actually hurt when he put it in. But thanks to some of your friends wild stories, you knew that if you were wet enough, it shouldn’t hurt at all. And Tom would have no problem achieving that. Taking his hands to your hips, he muttered in your ear,
“Lay down for me, yeah?”
The backs of your knees hit the mattress, and you scooted backwards, letting your head rest on the pillows. When you looked down at him, his eyes met yours, and he begun to place wet kisses up your legs. You got a tad nervous when he reached your inner thighs, worrying if he’d notice the stretch marks. Sensing the tension, he rubbed tiny circles on your knees.
“May I?” He asked. You quickly nodded, and shut your eyes. He spread your legs slowly, and resumed his wet kisses; starting from your knees. He placed a kiss on your right thigh, and with his other, ran his fingers softly over the stretch marks on your left thigh.
“You’ll never know how beautiful you are, to me.” He comments, as he gave the same love to the other marks. Tom then began his ascent up past your navel, leaving kisses and gentle bite marks along your stomach; until he reached your lips.
Tom was being gentle and slow, but you wanted to show the hunger you had for him. So, you grasped the nape of his neck and pulled him down for a sloppy kiss; trying to convey the passion and lust words couldn’t describe. Pulling off, he smiled down at you, and said,
“Raise your back a little, love.”
Obeying, his hands slipped under your back, and he easily unclasped your bra; leaving your chest exposed to him. He kissed in between your breasts, and gently grasped them; fitting snug in his palms. Your breath hitched, once he attached his lips onto the right one; leaving the left nipple to be gently squeezed by his free hand. His velvet tongue ran over your nipple, causing your breathing to shallow, giving in to the pleasure he was causing. He gave the other nipple the same treatment, which caused you to feel your stomach tighten. His touch was like fire and you felt like an arson.
When he finally detached himself from your chest, your breasts were glistening. Your chest involuntarily was rising up and down at a fast pace, overwhelmed by his tongue. Giving you a breather, he resumed to give your neck lazy kisses.
“You alright?” He checked in.
“Y-Yes. More than alright,” You respond, playing with his hair. Feeling his bulge against your thigh, you blurt out, “Are you alright?”
Tom just giggled, and pecked your lips.
“Honey, I’m just doing my best to take this slow.” You just smile, as he gave your breasts one last squeeze.
Tom began his descent, leaving open mouthed kisses all over your stomach; leaving the wet patches to glisten in the dim lighting. His fingers hooked on the hips of your panties, and he planted two kisses on your hips.
“Can I take these off?” He asked, gaining your approval. Nodding, he slipped them down your legs, exposing yourself to him.
Leaning forward, he hooked his arms under your knees, bring them up to rest on his shoulders. With his hands lightly grasping your thighs and hot breath over your entrance, you closed your eyes in anticipation. And finally, he began. Licking a thick stripe along your slit, you let out a loud moan. Time seemed to slow down as he began to lick lazy stripes along your slit, occasionally taking your clit into his mouth; swirling it around his tongue softly. Whenever he stopped to do that, the feeling of desire tripled, making your senses go overload. He mumbles words of adoration and encouragement, as he starts to rub your clit with his fingers. You had masturbated before, but his fingers were far better than yours.
“Tom... ungh... I’m almost there.” You say, massaging his scalp with one hand, whilst the other fists the sheets.
He hums in contentment, and continues his sweet assault on your sex. When your orgasm slowly creeps up on you, your jaw clenches as you squeeze your eyes shut. Moans escaped your lips, and what felt like fireworks erupted in your stomach. Tom continued licking and sucking you through your orgasm, causing your knees to feel weak. Once he felt your legs droop, he pulled off, and crawled over your body.
Tom really really had to resist the urge to stroke himself, while eating you out. Tonight was about you, and he didn’t want to be selfish. Plus, he didn’t want to cause you any pain that wasn’t necessary.
“Alright, darling?” He says softly, rubbing your cheek with his thumb. You placed your hand over his, and turned your head to kiss his palm.
“Holy shit, Tom.” Is all that you say, because that was an amazing orgasm. He brought his lips to yours, and gave you an open mouthed kiss. You tasted yourself on him, and you moaned into his mouth. Tom let his fingers travel to your entrance again, feeling how wet you were for him.
“You’re so beautiful, when you cum.” He whispers, rolling your clit in between his fingers. You were still a little sensitive from earlier, and you whined.
“Tom... I... I want you in me.” You knew he was just trying to make everything easier, but he was being a tease. So, you brought your hand to his bulge, and lightly palmed him through his briefs. His eyes fluttered shut, and moaned at the pressure.
Feeling brave, your hand slid in the fabric, and you took his erection in your fist. Using your foot, you tugged the fabric down, leaving you bare to each other. Tom was heavy in your hand, as you felt that he was already fully hard. Testing the waters, you stroked him once, running your thumb over the head; feeling pre-cum leaking out.
He gave you an off center kiss, kissing more chin than lips. It was passionate, and you knew that you were ready for this. Retreating, his chest was heaving up and down.
“I know it’s a slim chance, but do you happen to have condoms?” Tom asked, condemning himself for not having any on him.
Your friend a while back got you a box, when you started dating Tom. (“Trust me, if I was dating Tom fucking Hiddleston, I’d have like, thirty boxes on hand.”)
“Nightstand, dig around.” You replied, kissing his jaw while he reached over to dig. Sitting up, he found the unopened box.
Raising an eyebrow, he asked, “Should I be concerned?” You just giggled, and replied,
“My friend gave it to me when we started dating, in exchange for details about our love life.” He just shook his head and chuckled, pulling one out and taking it out of the package.
Before he got the chance to roll it on, your hand circled his wrist.
“Can I?” You asked, feeling your cheeks heat up. With his approval, you took the condom from his palm, as he placed his hands on both sides of your head.
Taking his cock, you rolled it over him. Finally, you cupped his face in your hands and lowered his lips so that they were hovering over yours. He grasped himself in his fist, and rubbed himself along your slit, causing you to emit a small gasp. And finally, he slowly pushed his head in your entrance, trying so hard not to lose himself. You expected more pain, but maybe that was just the nerves talking.
“Okay?” He murmured, still wanting to make sure you weren’t in a lot of pain.
“Mhmm, move a little.” You responded.
He slowly inched himself in, stretching you. It did feel a little uncomfortable, and the stretch caused a little amount of pain. Tom wasn’t small, you should have expected it to hurt a little. When he finally pushed himself all the way in, he stilled; to let your body and mind adjust to the new feeling. The only sound in the room was the pants coming from the two of you. Tom desperately wanted to move, but needed to make sure you were okay with it.
“Move,” you suddenly order; wanting to feel him even more.
Tom began to grind his hips, not fully pulling out. You grasped his biceps, and squeezed his waist with your thighs. The feeling of discomfort was quickly fading away, and it was being replaced with euphoria.
“Tom, nngh.. faster,” You pant, wanting more friction. To encourage him, you clenched yourself around his cock; causing him to let out a gasp of pleasure. Bringing his lips to your neck, he pulled out slowly, and snapped himself back into your hips. You let out a yelp, and fully wrapped your legs around his waist.
He began moving at a steady pace, leaving what felt like hundreds of hickies on your neck. Digging your ankles harder into the small of his back; it caused him to hit your g-spot, which sent shockwaves throughout your body.
“Fuck, right there!” You moaned.
He trailed his hand to your hip, and squeezed hard.
“You’re doing so well, baby girl.” Tom whispered, lust evident in his voice. “I love you,” he gasped, as his hips began to roll faster. You both begin to tell each other terms of endearment, as you made love.
You cried out, once his fingers found your clit once more. It intensified the pleasure, sending more fireworks througout your body. Knowing you were going to cum again, you tugged on his black curls.
“Tom! I-I...” You stuttered, as he let his lips crash on to yours, moaning into your mouth.
“Cum for me, baby. You feel so good around my cock, so tight around me.” He encouraged, putting more pressure on your clit. At his words, you squeezed your eyes shut; seeing stars as you were unraveling underneath him. You clenched once more around him, and felt yourself cum. Moans of ecstasy filled the room, along with the sound of skin slapping together.
Seeing you cum, had to be one of the most sexiest thing Tom had ever seen. Gripping your hip with one hand, his free hand intertwined with your by the side of your head. His thrusts became off rhythm, and he started to grind your hips. His trail of hair tickled your clit, causing your body to buck as he rode out your orgasm.
“Are you gonna... fuuuck... cum?” You moaned out, returning the favor of a bit of dirty talk. “Cum, Tom. God, I fucking love you.” And with that, his eyes skewed shut; as he snapped his hips one last time to yours. He came hard, as he placed a wet kiss to your lips. Grunting, he let his weight drop onto your stomach, as he stilled.
You then slowly kissed him, tugging at his hair. Your bodies were coated with a thin layer of sweat, and both of your bodies felt spent.
Rolling off of you, he took off the condom and threw it in the bin. You rolled over, and tucked your face where his neck meets his shoulder, and placed soft kisses on it. His arm rested under your head, as he ran his fingers through your still damp hair.
“I love you, darling. I love you so, so much.” He whispered, as you drew circles onto his chest. “Thank you for letting me be your first. I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He asked.
“Not at all. You were perfect, beyond perfect even. I love you so fucking much.” You rambled, suddenly feeling very sleepy.
“I like the thrill, of under me, you quite so new.” He quoted, feeling sleepy himself. You smiled at his reference, and pressed one last kiss to his lips; before you both fell into a deep sleep.