Chapter Text
Kenma looks at him sweetly, darkness and lust clouding his eyes as he leads Kuroo through a crowd, the heavy bass thumping in the room matching the heart beating in Kuroo’s throat. Kuroo’s in a haze.
He doesn’t know where he is, what would have been a dizzying confusion of moving pieces made perfectly logical by the incoherence of dreams. One moment he’s in the bathroom of a foreign house, the loud music of a party muffled as Kenma shuts the door behind him. The next thing he knows, his fingers are dipping between hard wires as Kenma pushes him into a volleyball cart in Nekoma’s storeroom. Kenma presses his lips against Kuroo’s and Kuroo’s lips part to allow Kenma to slide his tongue in, the kiss filthy and passionate all at once.
It’s a dream, Kuroo knows it’s a dream. But that doesn’t stop him from panting and moaning into Kenma's mouth. Dream Kenma pulls back slowly, forehead still pressed against Kuroo's. His pupils are dilated; Kuroo can see the hunger in his eyes. A string of saliva still connects them, only broken as Kenma wipes his lip with a single, delicate finger.
Dream Kenma smirks at Kuroo, pushing him down onto the plush bed – he’s back home now – licking his lips hungrily as he traces his hands down all the way to the waistband of Kuroo’s sweats. Dream Kenma looks up at him, eyes suddenly wide and guileless as he begs, “Kuro, may I suck your cock? Pleasee.”
Real Kenma would never say that. Kuroo has never heard Kenma beg for anything in his life. Real Kenma also wouldn’t smirk, but all things considered the dream was never a believable one in the first place. This lack of realism doesn’t stop Dream Kuroo from gasping out an agreement and dragging down his pants.
His hard cock springs out, and Dream Kenma looks at it excitedly, leaning forward to give it kitten licks from the base to the tip before finally taking it into his mouth. Kenma’s mouth feels warm and wet around his cock, and Kuroo distinctively remembers grasping the wall? Sheets? As he groans out Kenma’s name.
It feels good, white hot pleasure slick around his most sensitive spots, a hand grasped in Kenma’s soft black hair as Kenma sucks and licks and uses his teeth to gently graze the skin of Kuroo’s cock. Fuck, he’s close. He throws his head back as his hips jerks forward to seek more of that rough friction. He’s driving closer to the edge, almost there, just needs a little more to cum—
Kuroo jolts awake.
The first thing he registers is the friction on the dick as his hips ruts forward to seek the pleasure he has been imagining. And the second thing he registers is his boyfriend’s ass, the very thing he has been rutting against, and the warmth of Kenma pressed against him.
Fuck. Kuroo’s hips still in fear. Gingerly, he lifts his right arm out and pulls his half-numb left arm from where Kenma had been laying on. He observes Kenma for a few moments, the steady rise and fall of his chest as Kenma remains asleep, and finally breathes out a sigh of relief as he scoots back.
Thank god. Kenma must have snuck into his bed once he was done with his stream, which had been… Kuroo glances at the clock. 6.50 am. Earlier than he had expected. At least Kenma’s already asleep. Kuroo has been trying to get Kenma on a healthier sleep schedule for ages, but unfortunately it’s pretty much a lost cause. Kenma does whatever he wants.
And Kuroo… Kuroo wants Kenma to be healthy, but he's long since admitted defeat. The best he can do is try to lure Kenma into bed with cuddles, which honestly benefits Kuroo more than him. Kuroo loves how Kenma fits in his arms, even if he’s still holding a switch instead of talking to Kuroo. It feels like Kenma is moulded for Kuroo, and Kuroo, in turn, is made for Kenma. A perfect match destined by the gods.
Kenma has always been rather cat-like in his affection, which means he demands skinship whenever he feels like it — which Kuroo would gladly provide! Anytime! Everytime! Cuddles!! — and the rest of the time he’ll bat Kuroo’s hand away and pad off to do his own thing. And Kuroo loves that about him, loves the pliant way Kenma melts in his arms and rests his head against Kuroo’s chest or neck, loves the way Kenma would place Kuroo’s hand onto his head for Kuroo to start petting him slowly. He loves the frown Kenma makes, that little disgruntled furrow of his brows as he pushes Kuroo away when he’s not in the mood, and the way his expression grows even more petulant when Kuroo laughs fondly at his expression.
And the members of Nekoma have asked him about it – how their relationship works.
How it works is that Kuroo had picked Kenma and carried both their bags to school, bought lunch for Kenma because Kenma doesn’t like talking to people, and in return Kenma had let Kuroo hold his hand sometimes. Like three times a week, maybe. And volleyball! Kenma had played volleyball because of Kuroo, at least in part.
Kuroo would give Kenma the world, and he’s content to receive whatever Kenma will let him have in return. Even if that return is just a peck on the cheek (VERY GENEROUS! KUROO ALMOST DIED THE FIRST TIME THIS HAPPENED) or a tiny fond smile directed at him. His logical, rational brain would never dream of asking for more, which is a major problem because his dick doesn’t listen to his reasonable brain and keeps giving him repeated, vivid, mind-blowing, mouth-watering slideshows of pounding Kenma into the bed. And occasionally the other way round, Kuroo’s not picky.
“Ehhhh, why don’t you just ask him?” Bokuto questions.
“Oh my god. Bokuto, have you even been listening? I can’t,” Kuroo hisses. “Kenma came out to me as asexual three years ago! I can’t betray his trust by pressuring him to have sex.”
“Why not?” Bokuto asks inquisitively as he takes another rough bite of his pastry. “I mean there’s different types of ace right? Akaashi said so. And maybe Kenma is the type that doesn’t mind sex.”
“Bokuto-san is right,” Akaashi says, sliding into the seat beside Bokuto. Kuroo did not get so startled that he jumped up in the air, totally did not happen, he doesn’t get scared so easily.
“When did you get here,” Kuroo demands.
Akaashi ignores Kuroo’s question and continues, “Asexuality is a spectrum, as I’m sure you already know. There are many who choose to have sex or are open to it. Besides, I do not think Kozume is the type to judge you.”
Bokuto grins and flashes a thumbs up, speaking through the mouthful of food. “Kenma is super open-minded and understanding!”
Kuroo stares at Bokuto, because Bokuto might not be close to Kenma, but he should have some indication of his personality right? Which part of Kenma’s general aloofness reads “super open-minded” to him?
Akaashi grimaces and corrects himself. “Kozume is not the type to shun you for it, and I do not think anything could harm the relationship you have built. If he was not interested, he would simply refuse the offer.”
Kuroo takes that information in. It is true. What’s the worst that could happen? Kenma could stare at him blankly for a few seconds and shuffle away, which would leave him extremely humiliated and ashamed to meet anyone for a few days. But Kuroo is used to embarrassing himself in front of Kenma, he could take it!
“Besides,” Akaashi adds, “Kozume is extremely good at reading people. Keeping something from him would be more annoying than directly asking for sex.”
Oh. Horror dawned upon Kuroo. Oh no.
Two weeks ago, Kenma had frowned when Kuroo gently but hurriedly deposited Kenma off his lap and onto the couch. In his humble defence, Kenma had been shifting absent-mindedly on his lap as he played god-knows-what, and it was very bad for Kuroo’s horny brain. And his dick, yes. But at least Kenma didn’t feel his boner! He hopes so at least. Kuroo had gone to the bathroom from a shamefully quick nut – like, could pass the whole trip off as a particularly long pee kinda nut – and the awkward conversation had been avoided! No need for Kenma to get awkward or uncomfortable about his boner.
Then the same thing happened a couple of days after that, but to be fair he’s only twenty, and he had spent his puberty years mostly focused on volleyball. Yeah, he’s making up for lost time.
And just three days ago, Kenma had huffed as he plopped down into Kuroo’s lap, cheeks scrunching up with displeasure as he forced out the words. “If you have anything to say, you can tell me.”
Kuroo had been more focused on trying not to get hard, the pressure of Kenma’s weight sending blood straight to his dick. He had choked out a laugh and flashed double finger guns at Kenma, letting out a “No problemo!” that he hoped came out cool and chill.
It probably didn’t.
Scratch that, it definitely didn’t and the jazz hands Kuroo had given in response to Kenma’s annoyed stare undoubtedly made things worse.
Oh no.
Kenma definitely knows something is up. Fuck brunch, he meets up with Bokuto every two weeks anyway — Akaashi comes sometimes, Kuroo hasn’t quite figured out his schedule yet — he has to get back home to Kenma.
Akaashi grabs him by the arm on his way out, when he’s almost done settling the bill with Kenma’s card while Bokuto happily munches away.
“Kuroo-san, do you trust me?” he mutters, careful not to let the cashier hear them.
“Uh, I guess?”
“There are many ways to achieve orgasms with your partner besides penetration. I think Kozume is interested in a couple of them.”
“Ohoho, Akaashi, do you know something special? Something I don’t?”
Akaashi grimaces.
“Off the record, I think you may want to look at BDSM.”
Kuroo’s eyebrows climb higher on his face. He has heard about it, of course, though he’s far from familiar with what it means or what the letters even stood for. This is not the conversation he expected to have with Akaashi.
“Hey, Akaashi, are you, um, are you saying that Kenma likes these sort of things?”
“I’m not saying anything,” Akaashi warns. “This conversation never happened.”
Kuroo rushes back to his apartment in mere minutes, an irrational sense of urgency eating him inside. He needs to talk to Kenma immediately, before Kenma gets more upset. Although Kenma did crawl into bed with him last night, so he probably isn’t actually mad? And Kenma would probably still be asleep when he gets home, so that gives him at least two hours to work out what he wants to say.
That was the plan at least, until Kuroo bursts into their house to see Kenma in an oversized shirt draping to his thighs — his shirt! — the dark colour accentuating the milky skin of his legs. Wow. Kuroo wants to eat him up. Or out.
“What?” Kenma frowns, still half groggy and barely awake.
Fuck. Did he say that out loud?
“Nothing,” Kuroo squeaks, trying and failing to tear his eyes away from Kenma’s legs. He wants to put his mouth there, caress every inch of Kenma’s skin and worship Kenma’s body until his boyfriend could feel his reverence.
Kenma glares.
“No, you said something.”
Kuroo backs away and into the door, reaching for the door handle behind him. “I forgot something real quick, goodbye—”
“Stop,” Kenma demands. “Sit down.”
Without thinking, Kuroo lets go of the door handle and drops to the floor cross-legged. He could see Kenma’s boxers peeking out from underneath the shirt.
Kenma makes a disgruntled noise and Kuroo’s eyes snaps up to see Kenma staring down at him. His two brain cells clang against each other and he scrambles back up to his feet. Right, Kenma didn’t mean to sit down right there on the floor.
“Kuro, what is wrong with you today?”
“Sorry, I’m just not thinking thighs. Straight! Not thinking straight today.”
Kenma manages to look even more unimpressed. Kuroo awkwardly shuffles to their dining table and took a seat.
Kenma gestures for him to talk. And Kuroo loves to talk, but when Kenma is involved his dick tends to jump in and then his tongue does flip flops and his throat dries up and his brain is so jumbled that he can’t think about anything except that he kind of wants to put his lips on Kenma’s hands.
The silence grows between them, with Kenma staring at him with increasing impatience as the mess of characters in his mind tries to work themselves into words and coherent sentences.
“Kuro-” Kenma starts.
“I’ve been thinking about fucking you!” Kuroo blurts.
Kenma pauses.
“Not necessarily fucking fucking, but like sex stuff, you know? And I tried to stop it but I couldn’t and I’ve been getting wet dreams every night and when you wear my shirt I can’t help but think about touching you in like a sexy way, not that I’m blaming you for wearing the clothes, that’s all on me, I’m just really horny all the time or well, just recently; I don’t really know why either but it’s not gonna be a problem I swear I’ll just jerk off more or something, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, sorry about thinking about you like that I swear I’ll stop if you don’t like it, I know you’re ace and touch averse, sort of but not really, and I know you don’t like that word, sorry I just keep thinking about touching you inappropriately or even just normal regular touches and I don’t know what to do about it, it’s making me go very stupid and Akaashi said you were maybe into BDSM and I don’t really know what that means but it’s making me very horny either way and then thighs I don’t—”
“Kuro,” Kenma cuts in. Kuroo snaps his jaw shut to stop his rambling. He waits, heart in throat as Kenma looks down and taps on his cup contemplatively.
“So that’s why you were so weird the other day…” Kenma contemplates.
Kuroo flinches. “Sorry I know it’s weird I—”
Kenma holds a hand up and Kuroo falls silent again.
“I didn’t mean that in a bad way,” Kenma clarifies.
Kuroo opens his mouth to start what must be another ramble of apologises and semi-incoherent stream of words when Kenma motions for him to keep quiet. He doesn’t know why he’s like that, all nervous and a total mess when he’s usually so suave (Bokuto’s words, not his!). Typically, he’s never afraid to take the lead, even with Kenma.
“I’m going to speak first, and when I ask you questions you’re going to answer verbally,” Kenma tells him. “Is that okay?”
Kuroo’s mind clears up a little and he nods dumbly. Kenma frowns.
“That’s —” his voice cracks. “That’s okay. I got it.”
Kenma nods in approval.
“First of all, there is no need to be sorry about thinking about me, and I don’t mind if you jack off to the thought of me. Feel free to do that whenever you want.”
That’s a lot more direct than Kuroo expects, for someone who he’s never heard talk about sex in his life.
“Second,” Kenma continues. “It’s fine if you want to touch me. If I’m not comfortable with it, I will let you know. You can initiate contact whenever you want, I know you’ll back off when I don’t want it.
“Third, I’m your boyfriend. You can tell me stuff,” Kenma insists. “Don’t keep it to yourself when it involves both of us. I’m ace, but I don’t think I’ll mind sex from time to time. I just don’t understand the appeal of like — genitals. And I don’t want people shoving nude pictures in my face or anything, but if it’s on my own terms I think I’ll be interested in trying it out.”
Kuroo stays silent, because Kenma had not told him to speak. A mix of emotions — relief, hope, arousal (back at it again, that fucking bastard), regret, comfort — swirls through him.
“I didn’t want to pressure you into sex or something,” Kuroo admits once Kenma gives him the cue to, already feeling much more at ease and more like himself again.
“When have you ever been able to pressure me into doing anything?” Kenma points out nonchalantly.
“Yeah, I just over-thought things a bit. I think I’ve been hanging around Akaashi too much,” Kuroo jokes. “Do you want breakfast? I can cook something light if you’re up for it.”
“We’re not done,” Kenma reminds. “What are you interested in doing? Besides penetration.”
Kuroo splutters. “We’re talking about this now?!”
“It’s either now or later,” Kenma says, shrugging. “And I’m starting my stream in a few hours.”
“Right. I’m okay with anything, honestly.”
Kenma looks at him, unimpressed.
“Really! I mean I always assumed I would top but I’m fine with bottoming too, and I’m up for trying anything so if you want to tie me to the bed and tease me, that’s fine too.”
“Probably not anything,” Kenma reminds. “But okay. There’s a couple of things I’ve been thinking of trying, if you’re interested.”
Judging by the way his dick jumps as Kenma narrates his idea – when had he even thought about that – Kuroo’s definitely interested.