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“Can you pass me my tumbler?”
“Yeah sure,” Chaewon reached down and passed her the bottle, only for Sakura to notice the veins sticking out from the back of her hand.
What the hell? Was she flexing on purpose or...?
Sakura took the bottle from her hands hesitantly. Meanwhile, Chaewon took a swig of her water bottle, oblivious to anything wrong. Her shirt rid up slightly and Sakura couldn’t help but notice the toned muscles on her stomach. Since when did she have abs?
“Oh my God,” Sakura said quietly.
“Hmm?” Chaewon looked at her with the bottle still on her lips.
“Nothing.” Sakura looked away and drank her water to hide her indecent thoughts.
Those were not there last month, Sakura's mind went into a frenzy.
Or had they been and she just never paid attention before?
Chaewon had never been out of shape. Her physique had always been on the skinnier side but had no defined muscles. If someone looked at her one could even think she was lanky, but she was very coordinated and cool in the way she carried herself. Lately, she had been hitting the gym more though. Sakura caught her one night thinking she stayed behind for extra practice, but she was in the company gym doing sit-ups and burpees.
It’s maybe been a little less than a month. But damn, the results were already showing.
“Let’s go again,” Chaewon called, and the rest of the girls got ready to go over the song they were just practicing.
Their break was over. They got back in position and played the music, but this time Sakura couldn’t help the stolen glances for the leader through the mirror. Had she always been so... attractive? Anyone with eyes could see Chaewon was pretty (fork found in the kitchen, come on now) but she’d never felt strongly attracted to her looks before… at least not this new look.
And then Chaewon caught her gaze, and they locked eyes, and Sakura missed a step and fuck, she needed to get herself together.
Chaewon raised a curious brow at the mistake, especially since it wasn’t a part Sakura had shown to have any trouble with before. She didn't say anything but stayed wondering what was that all about.
Well, that was embarrassing, Sakura was trying to fight the heat trying to travel up her face. She was the oldest and the one with the most idol experience for crying out loud. Ogling over her group mate was not very professional.
Sakura made sure no more mishaps happened after that.
Today they were getting fitted for the outfits they would wear for their upcoming comeback and to her dismay, she and Chaewon got paired together. The group split into two to make things easier for the fashion coordinators and faster than going one by one. All of them at the same time was out of the question, way too chaotic.
Currently, the two were standing across from each other, with the fashion coordination team playing dress-up with them like Barbie dolls.
“Chaewon, have you lost weight?” The coordination leader pointed out while looking at the numbers on her measuring tape.
“Ah no...” Chaewon looked downwards embarrassed. "I toned up a bit."
“Oh ho, building those muscles I see. You look good! Keep it up and any outfit will look great on you. Here try this one on.”
Chaewon took off her shirt to be left with a sports bra and Jesus Christ, Sakura could now get a better look at those abs rather than the sneak peek she got flashed at practices.
Lord have mercy for I am not your strongest soldier...
“Sakura, you need to lift your arms for me to zip this up,” the other coordinator snapped at her, successfully bringing her back from her thirsty thoughts.
She did as she was told and tried to not look over at Chaewon anymore. Was it normal to want someone to crush her with their arms? Because she wouldn’t mind Chaewon trapping her with those muscles at all. Independent women be damned! She'd gladly be a damsel in distress just so she could be carried away.
Finally, Sakura snapped. On the day of their comeback showcase no less.
It wasn’t even something related to Chaewon’s muscles, she was just... walking around, getting ready in the waiting room, going from Point A to Point B.
Something about the way she walked though, it made Sakura want to scream in frustration because WHAT THE FUCK WAS HAPPENING??! Was she the only one that was SEEING THIS!? The AUDACITY??? Who the hell did she think she was?!?
She had to say something or her mind wouldn’t focus on anything else and she was going to fuck up the show.
“Chaewon,” Sakura called her over, “can I talk to you for a sec?”
The younger girl followed her without protest. The two left the waiting room briefly and had a private chat just outside, away from everyone else. Everyone was in the dressing rooms losing it trying to get them ready for the stage, so the hallway was relatively empty.
Sakura got to the point. “Why are you walking like you want to attract women?” She huffed in annoyance. And also, not really thinking before speaking.
Chaewon blinked for a second, not sure if she heard correctly, but when her brain caught up, she showed the biggest shit-eating grin and Sakura just wanted to smack her for it.
Chaewon straightened up at the implication. She hadn't meant for her body language to come off as flirty but if that was what Sakura felt then she wasn’t going to deny it.
The leader stepped forward and propped a hand on the wall, successfully trapping Sakura in between.
“Why? Are you attracted?” She grinned.
The older girl wasn’t going to lie. “...A little bit.”
Chaewon stayed quiet for a few seconds, just studying Sakura’s expression while the other girl was about to suffer heart failure.
“Okay, good,” Chaewon finally spoke.
She then got closer to her face, almost like she was going to lean in for a kiss, only to lean past and say into her ear with a low voice, “Then it’s working.”
Sakura felt her heart stop functioning. Her brain might also have broken.
The leader then walked back into the waiting like no transgression was just committed.
Sakura went back as well, but only after her heart resumed beating somewhat normally. There were still things to do before their performance, Chaewon being called over by the directing staff to go over last-minute details was an example. She swore on her life Chaewon had put more sway into her walk just now compared to before.
Alrighty then. Sakura was going to jump off the rooftop once their showcase was over, how about that?
Of course, she wasn't planning on truly jumping off.
Cue to later that night at their dorms, all of them were now home.
After their successful debut showcase, they had a small celebration but overall, they were told to come home and rest. Promotions for their debut mini album would take full swing in two days and they would be all over the place.
Everyone was asleep. Everyone except for Sakura, a combination of emotions swirling inside her still.
Seeing and hearing her fans after so long was electric. She was sure the other girls had felt similar but to Sakura, it was a little bit different. Debuting for the third time and all. Every day she couldn't believe so many people liked her and had stayed with her for so long. Supporting her and loving her even though she felt like she hardly did enough for them in return.
That was one thing in her mind but also... Freaking Kim Chaewon. Sakura was still flustered and pissed about her.
She had been replaying the showcase in her mind. Their performances, photo sessions, interviews, Chaewon had looked so good in everything it wasn’t fair. When did she become so obsessed with Chaewon?
And then realization hit her, and she was washed with a newfound wave of dread. Sakura thought she was over her silly little crush on Chaewon and she thought it would stay as just that. But years ago, she hadn't counted on them ending up in the same post-produce group and spending more time together.
Sakura banged her head on the kitchen counter and groaned in misery. Every time she closed her eyes, she got vivid images of toned abs and defined biceps but also got nostalgic flashbacks of a different Chaewon with longer hair and a softer look. It didn't matter which Chaewon it was, both equally set her lower belly on fire.
Sakura suddenly heard movement behind her and sat up straight. She tried to act like nothing was wrong, but her facade fell when the reason for her torture was the one that showed up.
“Not you...” Sakura couldn’t help but say when she saw Chaewon in spandex shorts and a tank top. Her toned legs were basically mocking her and when she turned around... Sakura could tell she had been doing squats ‘cause holy shit!
“Sorry. I just wanted water. Are you... okay?” Chaewon looked at her in concern.
OH, FOR FUCK’S SAKE. Sakura wanted to rip her hair out. She was going to play innocent now?!
Sakura glared. “No, I’m not okay. Just get your water and go.”
Chaewon shut her mouth and pattered through like she was sneaking around. She took a cup and filled it with water and drank slowly, studying the other girl's body language to try and figure out what was wrong. Had she done something to upset Sakura?
She knew she wasn't going to get the question alone. Now that she was a leader, she learned that communication between them was a two-way street.
“Are you mad at me?” She didn't beat around the bush.
Sakura sighed and tried to calm herself because honestly, Chaewon hadn't done anything on purpose. This was her fault for being so caught up in her feelings to the point that her group mate acting normal had riled her up. How pitiful and needy could she be?
“I’m not mad at you. I’m mad because of you.”
Chaewon scrunched her face. “Isn’t that the same thing?”
“No, it's not. Please go away,” Sakura couldn't hold back the snap in her tone.
Chaewon wasn’t one to take anyone’s shit though and mixing fire with fire never produced something good.
She set the cup down and walked up to the angry girl. “What’s your deal? I feel like all week you’ve been mad at me.”
The whole month actually. “Yes. Now leave.”
“No. What did I do?” Chaewon didn't back down.
“Didn’t you say you were here for water? You got your water. Go away.”
“Just tell me what’s wrong!”
“Fine. Then I’ll leave,” Sakura got off the chair, but Chaewon reached for her arm to stop her.
She trapped Sakura between her and the counter and once again, Sakura’s mind shut down. Her breath hitched and her heart felt like it would burst with the way Chaewon was staring fiercely back at her. She could melt then and there.
Sakura’s eyes adopted a hazy look and her pupils had dilated. Her breathing had also sped up along with her heartbeat. It was instinctual when Sakura’s eyes trailed to be fixated on her lips, and then looked down to her exposed collarbones, and then she looked away with flushed cheeks. Chaewon understood right away.
“Oh. That’s what’s got you so pissed. You could’ve just said so,” she said before leaning in and stealing her lips for a kiss.
Sakura’s eyes widened but then she relaxed and returned the kiss gladly. She had been so rigid and the corner of Chaewon’s lips turned upwards when she visibly felt Sakura turn into putty in her hands. Grabbing her by the hips she pulled her closer, Sakura gasping, and Chaewon using the chance to slip in her tongue and drive her wild.
Chaewon then reached behind her, hoisting her up, and sat her on the counter. With the new height difference, Chaewon was at the perfect angle to lay kisses on her neck.
“I hate you,” Sakura let out a groan.
Chaewon chuckled into the pivot of her shoulder before nibbling on the most sensitive part of her skin, behind her ear. "You hate me but you were fine doing this with Eunbi-unnie. Chaeyeon. Even Hyewon-unnie."
Alarms suddenly when up in Sakura's mind. Her body stiffened and she did her absolute best to put distance between them.
This was why Sakura tried so hard to ignore her want for Chaewon. The two just had too much history together. She knew her feelings would be taken the wrong way and things would get messy. Things were already messy by the looks of it. The dynamics of their old group were not universal and it did not mean Sakura wanted things to translate over.
Chaewon knew she fucked up when Sakura's face looked scared, and she was holding her back with a slight tremble in her hands.
"Listen, I didn't mean anything by that. I don't hold it against you. I just thought it was ironic. You know about me and Minju and Hitomi too."
Sakura's hold loosened and her shoulders visibly relaxed.
Okay, so it was working. Chaewon continued talking when Sakura still didn't say anything.
"We were busy and together 24/7, and the constant watch over us didn't make things easier. We needed to let off steam somehow, right?"
Is that what Chaewon thought this was? Just another form of letting off stress? Sakura felt an uncomfortable pang in her chest.
"I think you're misunderstanding me, Chaewon."
The leader perked up at the implication.
"If I wanted this to be another fling, I wouldn't have taken so long to approach you."
Now it was Chaewon's turn to look scandalized. Did that mean Sakura had genuine feelings for her? Her mind was going a mile a minute reworking everything.
Sakura hopped off the counter and allowed her words to sink in. She was ready to walk back to her room, convinced they would talk about this some other time but Chaewon didn't let her again. She pulled her back once more and crashed her lips with hers, although this time the kiss was different. Slower. Sweeter.
Chaewon felt over the moon. All this time she thought their initial avoidance and awkwardness had been dislike or even indifference. They weren't close before. Civil, sure. They had to as it had been their job. There had been so many of them under one group that it was a bit unrealistic to expect all of them would be besties. They had to pretend in front of the cameras since it had been in their contract but when judging eyes looked away, it was opposite corners for them. However, finding out the distance had been because of attraction changed everything.
"Unnie, I don't think you realize the weight of your words," Chaewon said against her lips.
At the same time, she unbuttoned Sakura’s pajamas, just enough for the collar to open up and expose the dip of her chest.
"If you say that, I'm never letting you go." She kissed against her collarbones carefully. Feather soft. The warmth of her lips making Sakura shudder.
Sakura's shoulders squared up, ready to take on the challenge, "Who told you I wanted you to?" Her voice didn't waver.
Chaewon loved the sound of that. With the clear go-ahead, she made a feast of Sakura's neck, stopping at a specific spot when she heard Sakura squirm and whimper. The older girl buried her hand in her short hair and tugged whenever Chaewon would bite her playfully. The sounds leaving her lips were driving Chaewon into a trance, wanting nothing more than to get more sounds out of her. But they couldn’t be too loud.
“Do you want me to take my time or do you want me to finish fast?” She asked deviously.
Even though Sakura was unbelievably aroused, she wanted this to last. She’d waited so long already, she’d manage a few more minutes of foreplay.
“Do whatever you want,” Sakura said breathlessly, confident that she could take anything.
"In that case..."
Sakura didn't know what she was expecting but she certainly wasn't expecting warmth to leave her and for Chaewon to fully pull away from her. She was now at arm's length away and had a mischievous grin on her face.
Sakura felt her nerves twitching.
"Are you mad?" Chaewon laughed.
Sakura's inner voice was cursing at her over and over because how on earth could she have fallen for someone so annoying and infuriating?
She didn't reply, fearing that obscene expletives would escape her the minute she opened her mouth.
Chaewon's smile only widened as she brought her close, wrapping her arms around Sakura's waist and leaning to whisper in her ear, "You're so cute when you're mad."
"Yeah? Well, I'm about to get fucking adorable if you keep talking and don't do something."
Chaewon gave Sakura one last kiss before leading them to her room. One of the perks of being under a big company? They could afford to give each of them their own bedroom.
Behind the locked door, they let themselves go and simply did what felt right. No more bringing up the past or worrying about the consequences of tomorrow. The only thing that mattered was that they were together now, and they just wanted to feel and be consumed by their feelings.
“Chaewon,” Sakura gasped. Her grip on Chaewon's waist tightened as she sped up her movements. “I’m close.”
"Me too," Chaewon muttered back, clouded with nothing but lust and devotion for the girl under her.
This wasn't like anything they'd ever experienced before and they both knew it. It was so much more intimate. So honest and unbounded from any barriers.
Chasing for release, Chaewon brought her hands to support Sakura's hips, using the leverage to grind faster and harder and give back with the same vigor.
They were lost in their world of intimacy and pleasure. Sakura was first, her body tightening and then releasing all that tension in one big wave that rocked even her soul. She came shaking in Chaewon’s arms and she felt the younger girl flex to be able to hold her against her body. Chaewon followed not long after her, reciting Sakura's name like a religious mantra and feeling like her heart was finally where it belonged.
The two stayed still to catch their breath, and Sakura was the one to pull Chaewon from behind and hug her tight.
"I'm not going anywhere," the leader teased.
Sakura leaned into her shoulder and hummed in bliss. "You're always ruining the moment. Just let me love you."
Chaewon's heart skipped a beat and for the first time in the night, she found herself speechless.
"Don't feel obligated to say it back. My feelings for you have been here for a long time so it feels right for me to say it."
Chaewon turned around in her embrace and stared into her eyes. Sakura was going to ask if there was anything else wrong when Chaewon kissed her again, long and deep. She was trying to convey something.
Sakura understood. She wasn't pressuring Chaewon into anything, that wasn't her intention at all. Chaewon might not feel the same way just yet, but the feelings were still there. What she felt for Sakura was beyond casual.
That's okay. Sakura had waited so long, what's a little bit more? It didn't compare. She'd wait however long until Chaewon was ready. Feeling like this already was so dangerous but Sakura trusted Chaewon. She trusted her with her life. She knew this thing between them would grow and flourish. It would grow so tall that it would reach the clouds and touch the castles in the sky. It wouldn't be easy, but Sakura had never taken easy roads in life.
"Don't let me go, okay?" Chaewon placed a hand on Sakura's chest, right above her heart, "Because I'm just going to crawl right back."
Sakura wouldn't want it any other way.
"Never," she promised her.