Chapter Text
Run, keep running. Run to stay alive. Run to save yourself. Run to escape.
Never stop moving, they will find you and won't stop until they do.
Always stay aware, never get caught up in the moment. Be ready for anything and everything.
Never grow attached to an item or person, it could be gone in a matter of seconds and you can’t let the distraction make you unfocused.
Always keep a weapon with you, whether it be a gun or just a small knife. Never go anywhere unprotected.
Stay away from the cities, keep in the suburbs.
Trust no one.
And lastly, stay alive.
Those were the rules that Jennifer Jareau lived by. She swore by them. It is thanks to those rules that she has survived so long. People who are too wrapped up in what the world once was are the people that don't make it.
You have to adapt. Make the best out of a shitty situation. And that's exactly what JJ has done.
The world doesn't have time for feelings or friends. That is why the blonde was alone and a shell of the person she once was.
Simple mistakes get you killed. And if it's not you who dies, someone else does. The world had turned into a brutal cycle of killing. You either take a life or lose your own.
It has been 5 years since the corrupt virus infected the world, making the dead become monsters. Monsters who destroy, steal and kill. Nobody knows how the outbreak occurred. There were rumours of it spreading because of a government crafted illness that was planned to reduce the size of the population but quickly became out of control when the patients that were supposed to pass in their sleep, ended up coming back to life.
No one had the real answers as to what turned the world to shit.
JJ gave up trying to find the reason, it was slowly killing her trying to find who to blame for all the people she had lost, all the pain she had suffered and for being left alone.
Alone.
She had been alone for longer than she remembered. Four and a half years of no human interaction makes you more than slightly stir crazy. Especially as she lost everyone she loved so tragically.
‘It has been 6 months since it happened. 6 months since everyone JJ knew was dead.
There were only 3 people in their group left. JJ herself and her two childhood best friends, Jordan and Spencer. When the virus first spread, there were 24 people in the cluster of survivors from their neighbourhood.
One by one their numbers dropped. Some had left on a journey to go and find help but had never returned. Some let the darkness get to them, deciding to take their own way out after letting the things they had seen obstruct their will to live. And the others, well they were still here.
Just not in human form.
As the last 3 members sat around a small fire of their makeshift camp, JJ let her mind wander. She thought about all the people they have lost and the sacrifices they all made. Everyday was just as much a struggle as the last.
Slight laughter broke her out of her thoughts as she watched Jordan pick up a stick and throw it in Spencer's direction.
"Just admit it, you don't want to accept that my idea was better than yours" Spencer said with a smug grin on his face as he tried but failed to dodge the small stick, which hit him square in the head.
“Seriously! I don't see what is so unbelievable about the idea of sleeping in a tree? We are off the ground and don't have to worry about the possibility of waking up with a chunk of us missing because some nasty infected decided they were hungry at four in the morning” Jordan said, fully unaware about JJ and Spencer laughing their asses off at her seriousness.
“I worry about you sometimes Jord” JJ sighed with a chuckle.
“If the world was normal, we wouldn't just worry about you, we would be booking you into a mental hospital. I mean seriously, so many questions. First off, how are we going to even get up that high on a tree? Are you expecting me to sleep on a branch? I know I'm skinny but c’mon! Even you can admit it would be horrendous” the boy said quickly, a face of pure disbelief at his friend's idea.
“Believe it or not pipe cleaner, I only suggested it so I could see you fall off of the branch in your sleep. That would have made my entire year.”
“Dude, when can we stop with that nickname? That was forever ago!”
The trio continued to joke between each other around the fire in their makeshift camp. After a long day of walking and bickering between Jordan and Spencer about sleeping on the floor or in a tree- they ultimately decided that on the ground was their best bet.
Spencer had had the bright idea to recycle their old cans of food and tie them together on a piece of string, then wrap it around a small group of trees, so that the group could sleep in the middle and if anything tried to get in, it would trip over the cans and alert them.
It was actually really smart.
Except for when JJ tripped over them 40 minutes ago and Jordan charged at her with a rock thinking she was an infected.
As the fire became more dim as it slowly fizzled out, so did their conversation. They were all beyond exhausted but came to the decision that one of them would stay awake and keep watch, just in case.
This is how the three of them had lasted this long out here, they had a system. Being best friends before the outbreak definitely helped them in working so well together. They all had a role. Jordan was the navigator that led them through the endless abandoned roads and woods. Having a good sense of direction in the apocalypse was extremely helpful. She also took care of most of the infected, she had a knack for killing them before they got too close. Spencer took on the role of medic, always being able to patch up everyone's endless bumps and scrapes from being outside 24/7. He also took care of the food and water rations from being able to mentally keep count of how much they had left.
JJ was the group's scout. She was quick and agile on her feet, making it easy to catch food alongside her knowledge of hunting. She was also the one that went inside if they ever went on a supply run at a shop. She was their pair of eyes.
So in fewer words, they all had many jobs that kept them alive. Each is as important as each other.
But JJ always felt a certain pressure with her role. She was solely responsible for feeding herself and her best friends. Hunger was a big problem in the world now as it led to death no matter what the circumstances were. If JJ didn't catch any food, it leaves the group starving which leads to them being weak which leads to them being tried which leads them to being angry which leads to-
“Jayje?” Spencer asked as he laid his hand on her shoulder. “We are heading to bed now, Jord agreed to stay up first” he said as his eyes were filled with concern for the blonde girl.
It was no secret how disconnected and quiet JJ had become since they lost their last member.
All of them had lost people. It just comes with the virus and it ruins people. But JJ had carried a burden of fault from each of her family's deaths. Each one was her fault. It kept her up at night, images flashing in her mind preventing sleep.
“Coming Spence. Are you sure you're okay doing the first watch Jordan?” JJ asked as she stood up and dusted off her pants.
Jordan shot her a smile and gestured to their makeshift beds, which in reality were just sleeping bags on the floor but were better than just the solid ground. You take what you can get out here. “I’m more than fine Jayje. You two had the heaviest bags today, you deserve to rest”.
JJ sighed in relief and smiled gratefully at Jordan, lightly touching her shoulder as she went past.
The blonde didn't mind in the slightest about going to bed first. In fact, she would rather try and attempt to get some decent sleep, even though she knew that would be far from probable.
As JJ and Spencer slowly drifted off into a light sleep listening to the light crackling of the fire, Jordan kept her eyes and ears out for any activity in the forest around them. She didn't have to keep that close of attention as the infected were quite loud with their groans and shuffling feet. So instead, she turned her focus to the two sleeping figures that were lit up lightly by the fire.
Being the oldest of the three, Jordan always felt a certain protectiveness over her two best friends. Especially JJ. Spencer was always unapologetically himself and didn't care what others thought of him but was still extremely introverted. Much like Spence, the young blonde was quiet around others and had a hard time getting out of her shell. JJ only had a few friends other than the two of them. She was extremely shy and didn’t know how to put herself out there. It took months of convincing from Jordan and Spencer to get her to try out for the girls football team at their school.
Jordan, being extremely extroverted, took them both under her wing when she saw them both alone on the first day of school. It has stuck ever since. There was never a day the trio weren’t together and laughing at some stupid joke Spencer had made or celebrating at their local pizza place after JJ had won the scoring goal at her match.
She would forever be grateful for the two idiots she called her best friends.
Jordan got broken out of her thoughts once she heard a twig snap from somewhere outside of the camp. It was close enough that she could make out the sound of leaves rustling. Maybe an infected had tripped over and had gotten stuck behind something?
Her gut feeling was telling that she needed to go and check to make sure it was nothing threatening.
Armed with a small pocket knife, Jordan stepped away and over the cans in search of what the noise was. She quickly checked back and made sure the cans were secure, the bad feeling in her stomach lessened when she was sure JJ and Spencer would be relatively okay in the short time she would be gone.
JJ woke up in a bolt to the sound of a scream.
She instantly looked towards Spencer and saw he was also beginning to wake up, clearly having heard the pained scream as well.
But when JJ looked around for Jordan, she wasn't anywhere to be seen.
“Spencer?” JJ whispered, fear lacing her voice. “Can you see Jord anywhere?.”
She watched as the boy stood up and looked around the camp just like she had done seconds before. Once he had done a full check, he swallowed loudly and met JJ’s eyes. “No. Shit, she’s not here”.
They both sat in silence for a few seconds before Spencer asked the dreaded question. “You don't think that was her do you?”.
“I don’t know, stay here. I’m going to look for her” JJ said stubbornly as she began to stand up. It was almost as if she knew what Spencer was about to say.
“What- Jay you can't just go out there! You don't even have a weapon for god's sake!” Spencer cried out. If it was true and it really was Jordans scream, he knew what that meant. So did JJ, even if she wouldn't admit it. But it was too late as JJ had already disappeared into the dark forest in search of their third member.
Having an internal battle with himself, Spencer decided to keep put in the camp. He told himself that was the best idea so if JJ and Jordan came back, when they came back, he would be able to guide them to where the camp was and keep watch of their stuff. The fire had run out, only leaving lightly lit embers burning. It gave off practically no light, their only source being the slight moonlight shining through the trees. His idea was smart and safe. Spencer just couldn't bring himself to openly walk into infected territory with nothing but his fists to protect himself- which were basically useless anyway
Unlike Spencer, JJ was on complete look out in the barley moon shone woods in search for her dark haired friend.
She had blindly followed the direction in which she thought the scream had come from. Her stomach felt full of rocks the longer she didn't find anything. Images flashed in her mind about what could have happened.
But then something caught her eye in the distance and once she realised what it was, she instantly sped up.
When JJ got closer, the feeling in her stomach became ten times worse. She could have thrown up right there and then. Her head became dizzy and she felt herself shaking.
Jordan was on the floor, two of those monsters attached to her leg and neck. She had managed to kill the one that had been connected to her neck as it lay motionless over her stomach, her blood coated around its face. But the one on her leg was still eating away at her flesh.
It felt like forever before JJ felt herself move. She reached onto the floor and grabbed at the discarded bloody knife Jordan had clearly dropped and grabbed the back of the infected’s clothing as she stabbed the knife into its eye. It's dark blood seeped around the wound as it fell to the ground.
In an instant the blonde had dropped the knife and was kneeled beside Jordan, pushing the zombie-like creature off her torso. The blonde's hand came up to the missing chunk of flesh from the dark haired girl's neck in an attempt to stop the bleeding.
“Come on Jord, stay with me” JJ said desperately. She could already feel how cold the older woman was becoming. It was too late to save her, the damage had already been done. But JJ would still try her hardest at futile attempts to save her best friend.
“Spence!” JJ screamed desperately as she watched the blood from Jordans bite seep through her hands, coating them in a shade of red the blonde would remember forever.
“Jord, hey keep your eyes open for me okay?” the younger woman said quietly as tears rolled down her cheeks and onto the floor.
“Jay” a croaky voice whispered as JJ looked to meet Jordans eyes. “You need to let me go..”
“No! I can't and I won't. Just hand on a little bit longer Jordan. It's going to be okay, you’re going to be okay, just stay with me. Please”. JJ said quietly as she openly sobbed, her words catching on the ends, cracking painfully.
JJ didn't care if she drew the attention of other infected. She needed Spencer to hear her, he would probably know what to do.
Weak coughs racked Jordans body as JJ moved one of her bloodied hands off from the wound on Jordans neck, so she could hold the dark haired woman in her arms. The blonde half rested Jordans body on her own. She wanted to be as close as possible to her friend.
There was a pressure building in JJ's chest that was becoming almost painful. It told her how she knew what was happening but in reality, she refused to accept it. Her head was like a broken record, constantly spinning the same memories of JJ's time with Jordan.
Minutes passed of JJ murmuring comforting words to Jordan as she became increasingly more weak. The blonde rested her lips on the top of Jordans head as she cried into her hair, slowly rocking them.
When she felt Jordan go dead weight in her arms, she listened closely as her best friend took her last breath of air before her arms became slack beside her and her head lulled to the side.
“No, no no” JJ quickly scrambled around on the floor to hold Jordan's face in her hands, blood from the blonde's hands spreading over the brunette's face. “Please, you have to wake up…I need you”. JJ gasped for breath as she felt the pressure in her chest constrict her from inhaling. The dam broke and cries erupted from the blonde.
The sobs coming from JJ could be heard from miles away. They sounded almost animalistic as she cried with such a force her chest and head were pounding.
JJ gripped Jordans body like a vice until her knuckles turned white as her sobs became muffled by Jordans chest. Through her pain, she briefly wondered where Spencer was. She had called his name multiple times and he never came.
Being so vulnerable out here wasn't smart, JJ knew that but she just couldn't bring herself to care. She couldn't physically see herself surviving out here without Jordan by her side. She had been with the blonde through everything, she was a big reason that JJ had even survived this. She could easily take the knife she knew Jordan had and end it all.
But then she thought of Spencer back at camp. She couldn't leave him. So she attempted to calm down.
As JJ began to try and stifle her sobs, she remembered the one promise the trio had made. If any of them had gotten bitten, they wouldn't let them turn into an infected. JJ knew she couldn't let her Jordan turn into one of those monsters, JJ was too weak to even stand, let alone kill an infected. So if Jordan did come back, she would be taking JJ with her.
The blue eyed girl began searching around blindly for the small pocket knife that had fallen on the ground somewhere.
Once her fingers grasped the cold metal, she picked it up. Her blood covered hands made it increasingly difficult for her to grip the knife properly.
Once she had a good hold, she screwed her eyes up as tightly as she could and placed the knife to Jordans temple. Even though this is what she would have wanted, JJ felt increasingly sick at the idea of going through with it.
The blonde bit her lip hard enough to draw blood as she tried to stop a sob escaping and quickly pushed the knife into Jordan's head. Her knuckles were white as she pulled the red covered knife out of Jordan's skull.
JJ kept her eyes glued shut as she shot up and began to walk away, the knife still clutched tightly in her grip. She refused to look back.
JJ couldn't look at Jordan again after that.
Her legs shook uncontrollably as she walked. JJ couldn't believe what she had just done. It all felt like a bad dream, like what had just happened would erase and disappear once she opened her eyes.
Her hands stayed stiff by her side as clumsily searched in the dark woods for their camp. She had been gone for at least 15 minutes and she hoped Spencer was okay. Lord knew she couldn't have handled the loss of both her friends.
JJ felt like she was going in circles and was about to scream out for Spencer when she tripped over something and landed completely on her front, just narrowly missing the knife she was holding. When she looked up to see what she had fallen over, she was shocked to see the long string of cans.
She immediately stood up and saw the complete disarray of the camp.
The fire was completely out, one of their sleeping bags being thrown on top of it. The bags that were stashed in the corner were all taken except for one.
Everything was gone.
Including Spencer.
JJ could have broken out sobbing right at that second but she was too exhausted. So instead tears just poured out of her eyes rapidly as she stood in the middle of the camp, staring at the mess that was left.
Her shoulders shook as she gained the effort to shakily call for Spencer. "Spence? Where are you? This isn't funny…".
With how strained her voice was from all the crying, she would be surprised if you could hear it from 5 feet away.
This had to be a joke. Spencer wouldn't have left her here.
But then she realised. The boy must have thought JJ got bitten or hurt as well, therefore panicked, grabbed everything and left.
She couldn't blame him really. Sure he jumped to conclusions without even checking if they were alright but fear makes you do stupid things. He acted out of survival.
Then it hit JJ. Hit her so hard that her legs buckled beneath her as she curled up on the ground, erupting into loud broken sobs.
She was alone.
No food. No water. No warmth or shelter.
And no friends.
JJ hoped that maybe if she stayed here long enough, Jordan and Spence would come back and everything could return to how it was.
But they never came'.
That night was the closest JJ had ever been to ending it all. She has Jordans knife placed above her wrists, ready to give up but some part of herself couldn't do it. She felt almost guilty about being able to decide when she could leave this world and be done with everything in it when Jordan didn't get that choice.
The week following consisted of blindly following roads whilst spending the night anywhere she could find.
Without Jordan and Spencer, JJ had nothing. She didn't see the point in living all alone.
Days of hurting and endless pain turned into weeks, which turned into months, which turned into JJ not knowing what it felt to feel something other than suffering.
She didn't feel much at all anymore. She was numb.
That was until she met Apollo, a skinny german shepard. JJ knew she was breaking most of her rules by keeping him, especially the one about not getting attached to anything but she never intended on letting him stay.
It was Apollo who decided JJ was his new owner. He followed her and wouldn't go away, who was JJ to send the poor dog away?
When she first saw the small dog curled up in the seat of an abandoned truck, the blonde wasn't even sure he had seen a living human before. But once he sniffed her out and figured that she wasn't an infected, his face almost lit up and his tail wagged at the speed of light.
Ever since then, it had been just the two of them
JJ and Apollo.
The blonde believed that he was a final gift from Jordan and her family, letting her know they were looking down at her from wherever they might be.
Apollo helped keep JJ sane. She talked to him all the time, even though he couldn't respond.
He showed her how he felt all the time. He would bark happily when he watched her train with her new spear.
The small pocket knife she had kept from Jordan had become dull. And quite frankly, it was horrible to kill infected with, JJ had to get so close to them to be able to stab them in the head. Which made it easier for them to try and take a chunk out of her.
So, JJ had sharpened the end of a stick she had found and it became her primary way of killing infected.
And of course, the apocalypse was extremely boring. Therefore JJ took joy in teaching herself cool tricks with her new and improved weapon.
Would they save her from certain death? Absolutely not. But do they look cool? Extremely.
Adapting to survive out here became the norm for JJ. She has learnt lots from being out here for years on end by herself. First off, JJ doesn't ever stay in the same place for more than a few nights, she thought it was best to be constantly on the move. And another important one was to stay away if you saw signs of human life.
The way the world is now changes people. All they care about is survival, which results in people killing others just to take their resources and what they have.
JJ swore that no matter how bad things got, she would never take things from others. To everyone else who was left, it was almost as if human decency didn't exist anymore. No one cares who you are, they just want what you have.
It was around evening time when Apollo bolted into the woods, clearly having caught the scent of something. JJ stayed close but moved slowly and steadily, not wanting to scare off whatever Apollo was trying to catch.
After a couple of minutes, he returned with a dead squirrel in his mouth. JJ could have screamed in delight, it was the best thing they had managed to catch in weeks.
"Good boy Apollo!" JJ said excitedly as she happily stroked his fur. His tail was wagging as if he knew what he had done was good. "We will be eating well tonight buddy, let's get moving, the sun is going down". JJ gave Apollo one last pat on the head then began to move.
If the blonde was to guess, she would say it was around mid october as it was starting to get colder and the roads were now covered in leaves that had fallen off trees.
If JJ remembered correctly, there was an abandoned bus somewhere along this road. That's where she and Apollo would be spending the night.
JJ couldn't help but smile slightly as she looked down at the dead squirrel hanging off the handle of her bag. Never in a million years did JJ think she would have survived this long. The JJ before the outbreak would have cried at the thought of being covered in mud and sweat after not having a proper shower in months. She tried as much as possible to look out for her hygiene but living in a world filled by the walking dead, it gets a bit hard.
Her smile faded once she heard the growl of an infected, it was far enough that she didn't need to waste any energy on killing it. But it was just a cruel reminder that happiness out here was extremely far fetched.
Once the duo had reached the abandoned yellow school bus, JJ lifted Apollo onto the top of it as she quickly grabbed some sticks to start a fire.
JJ and Apollo always shared whatever food they had caught. Knowing that they were using each other to survive felt nice, JJ felt needed for once in her life. Even though Apollo couldn't speak, his presence was such a comfort for JJ.
As the blonde started the fire with two flints she had found, she began to cook the small squirrel. Her only aim was to get as much meat off of it as possible. After JJ had skinned the animal, it occurred to her just how small it actually was.
Alas it was better than nothing.
You would be surprised how much better random meat tastes when you haven't eaten in over 5 days.
"That was pretty good if I do say so myself" JJ said as she swallowed her last bite of food. "I'm no Gordon Ramsey but from how quickly you ate that, I can't be that bad hey?"
Apollo just looked at the blonde and tilted his head.
JJ sighed and added more sticks to the fire. These last couple of hours were going to drag.
Both Apollo and JJ curled up together as they attempted to get some sleep. Like always Apollo closed his eyes and was gone instantly but the metal underneath them was less than forgiving on JJ's back. She knew it was better than sleeping on the ground but either way it was extremely uncomfortable.
Sleep was hard to come by these days for JJ. The things she has seen kept her up at night, haunting her. But at least at night time she could let her mind wander without the threat of being distracted.
She clutched Apollo's fur close as she let her mind wander.
JJ had always wondered whether Spencer was still out there.
Over her isolating time alone, JJ held a small part of resentment towards him. For running. For not checking on her or Jordan. For leaving JJ alone.
If he would have just stayed in the camp and not left, JJ wouldn't have suffered by herself. Grieving two friends instead of just one.
The blonde had given up hope along time ago that she would ever see Spencer's face again. Except now, she wasn't even sure she ever wanted to.
It was a difficult situation, she understood why he did it but that didnt make it hurt any less.
JJ felt her eyes become heavy with sleep as she let them close.
The blonde's lack of sleep over the past years and the fear that she was most vulnerable when asleep had turned her into an incredibly light sleeper.
So JJ wasn't surprised when she woke up to the sound of a deep groan. She opened her eyes and looked around, reminding herself that she and Apollo were safe.
When she realised where the noise was coming from, JJ peered over the edge of the bus and saw a pair of grey eyes staring back at her.
JJ didn't think she would ever get used to the sight of an infected.
Rotting pale flesh with decaying gums and noses that left endless pits in their face. Long, skinny fingers that clawed at you when you got too close. They smelt of death. But with no doubt the worst part of them are their eyes. JJ avoided looking at them as much as she could. They were cloudy and filled with the life that person used to live.
They were so life-like yet completely void of what makes them human.
They made JJ's skin crawl.
The blonde knew her and Apollo were safe on top of the bus and she didn't have the energy to kill it, so she leant back against the hard surface of the bus and sighed.
She looked up at the night sky littered with stars and just knew she wasn't going to get back to sleep.
This was going to be a long night.