Chapter Text
Eleanor gave it time
She had a lot of it, she guesses. She spent the time to orchestrate her entire senior year just to ruin a girl’s life. She spent the time setting up to romance the first girl she’d had active feelings for in years, to woo her. But, as she observed before—girls were much more complicated than that. Men were easy, even in her brief faux moment of pretend. It took months and many words to get the girl.
She realized entirely too late that she was the one getting got.
Gabbi was nice, incredibly sweet and she honestly enjoyed the chase. She slept with her not long after their roll around in the grass. It was…nice. She hadn’t had much to compare it to, but she found herself laying still. Surrounded by silence, she had the girl’s head on her chest, not unlike a position she’d been in before.
Only this left much more to be desired.
Its like the spark went out. The touches didn’t excite her nearly as much as she expected. Her heart didn’t flutter. Dare she say, the last time she felt real adrenaline had been when she was standing over Drea.
It hit her like car—ironically enough. The obsession, the calculation, the planning. Theres a thin line between love and hate, or whatever other cliche she was embracing. Drea had been right.
The most fun she’s had, had been with her. There were many times she had to stop herself from revealing her game. Her poker face began to wane anytime the brunette smiled at her, or allowed her to pull her close.
There was a tickle in the back of her brain when she heard the girl was going to get Russ back. She’d distracted herself, thinking perhaps it was envy. Maybe she wanted the girl that had slipped from her grasp. Maybe she wanted a happy ending too. She accomplished it very easily considering she had a part in ruining Gabbi’s family name.
She didn’t feel good, though. Not quite the sharp feeling in her chest at realizing she didn’t hate Drea. No, this was something like yearning. She wanted to scoff at herself—she had a pretty girl in her bed and she was thinking about her friend instead. What was wrong with her?
She stroked Gabbi’s hair, but somehow it wasn’t nearly as soft. She held her tight, but somehow her skin didn’t warm her in any way that was not literal. She kissed her forehead, but found herself wondering how Drea tasted.
That was a new one.
She sighed, rolling out of bed.
“Where you going?” Gabbi asked, smiling in mirth. Eleanor was having a hard time meeting her eyes, shuffling on her pants. A brunette brow quirked, “Is this another mystery I’m meant to figure out? Or do you always leave a girl high and dry?”
She was joking, but there was an air of hurt. She could tell that in anyone’s tone. She knew it well.
She paused, before grabbing her shirt, leaning down to kiss the worry away.
“My parents really want me home tonight,” She lied easily. Something she learned very young was to move with her fingers crossed. She rolled her eyes in faux annoyance. “I have to go with my mom to this stupid banquet in the morning.”
Gabbi hummed, nodding in understanding. “Ugh, good luck with the schmoozing.”
Eleanor snorted at that. She did have to do her fair share of events, but luckily her parents hadn’t been forcing her out of the house as much. Not since she started inviting Drea over and showing a semblance of a social life. Ugh, indeed.
She smooth talked her way back to her car unscathed—physically that is. Her insides were doing a lot of colorful things. She found herself yelling behind the wheel until she hit her street.
/
Summer meant less excuses. She showed up unannounced at Drea’s house plenty of times. The last had been less than pleasant, but the thought of having one over on the girl had riled her up too much. She remembers the pure excitement in having such a powerful girl under her thumb. She wasn’t proud of her empty threats, because really, she knew Drea’s mom worked too hard to deserve to go down on some false charges. She would never actually hurt her that much.
The reason her finger remained on the metaphorical trigger, however…maybe she just liked the look on her face. Drea at her mercy was a pretty sight. Drea was always a pretty sight. She glanced at her little dragon as she lay flat in bed. Oscar was in a pretty polka dot number Drea had gifted him. He held many things, treats especially, but he unfortunately did not have answers she needed.
It wasn’t weird to text your best friend to come over. Why did it feel so weird? Why was she being so weird?
Deep breaths—she’d learned that in her time in treatment. She was mentally panicking. She tried to muster hate in her heart instead, maybe that would cancel out the feelings. Drea put her in treatment. Drea ruined her life.
Drea was the first person to break her heart.
That was not the intention of this train of thought.
She cursed at herself, rolling over to grab her phone. She was not going to be a pussy about this. She texted Drea promptly, ignoring the way her phone knew she was going to do it before she did. Siri suggestions weren’t as smart as it thinks it is. It was coincidence.
Drea responded just as fast.
Rain check? Russ is taking me to a sip and paint
Eleanor felt herself unconsciously clenching her phone. This was fine. Russ was her boyfriend, or whatever. They technically hadn’t DTR’d yet, but she was sure that wasn’t far from the truth. And that wasn’t a problem or anything. Hell, as far as she knew and due to past events—Drea was straight.
She’d had a 180 in regards to her allyship, but her touches and their contact were otherwise friendly. Sure they slept in the same bed sometimes, (everytime) and often gazed into each others eyes like they were the only things tethering each other to Earth. Friends do that all the time, though…yeah?
She wasn’t sure if friends fought jealousy at the thought of the other in bed with their significant other. Those were semantics, though.
It took her a whole year to create a plot that ended in her having feelings for Drea. Now she was going to speed run a summer of getting over her.
But first a nap. She didn’t think she could handle another second being conscious. She couldn’t stop thinking about perfectly lined lips. Brown eyes circled in red and locks soft as sin.
/
Drea was not in on this plan either. She was just as ignorant as the last time, yet she refused to play along. The touching seemed to get worse. She was comfortable with Eleanor. She was the only one to see her house—other than Russ.
“I like going to his studio better,” She spoke fondly of the boy. Eleanor looked in question, sensing a ‘but’ in that statement. Dreas face fell, “He made some off handed comments about the size of my room, though. He didn’t mean it, but it sucks to hear.”
Drea was laying on her bed, laptop in her lap. Eleanor was at her side, listening to her speak over an episode of Top Chef on the screen.
“I prefer hanging out here,” Eleanor spoke before thinking. She had many things she wanted to say, but that was not going to serve her well. She snuggled closer in spite of herself, “Its less stuffy…feels like a real home.”
Drea’s bed in general felt less lonely than her own. Being next to Drea gave her more comfort than anything other than her mini dragon.
She felt the girl relax next to her. She was quiet—very unusual to most. When they were alone they often settled into comfortable silence. Drea liked hearing her talk. Said it was actually nice to listen to others in a way that was genuine and not just social climbing.
Drea let her head drop comfortably onto Eleanor’s shoulder.
“I hope I can make him see it that way,” She sighed. Eleanor was absently playing with her fingers. Hand holding with Netflix was still friendly, right? Drea pursed her lips, “He’s another trust fund kid, yeah, but he’s…different. His heart is in a different place.”
Eleanor didn’t know what to say to that. She could say the same about herself. Except Drea didn’t have to teach her how to accept and love every part of her. It just happened.
/
June was ending. The heat was scalding. She was in a bathing suit again. Max was doing whatever performative rehabilitation his parents had shunned him to. Gabbi had still been contacting her relentlessly. She wanted someone to be there to distract from the responsibilities and urge for perfection from their parents. Without Max, she was next in line to save their namesake. Eleanor finally agreed to meet the girl at a party Tara was throwing. They were on better terms—Tara was regularly talking to Drea again. An unnecessarily protective part of her had done some digging to make sure this was sincere.
She was certainly one to talk.
Drea had dressed her. She liked the way the brunette played barbie with her. She liked the feelings of her hands and the way she eyed her hungrily in satisfaction. She was proud of her creation. She told her how hot she was and refused to let her hide herself. Eleanor wanted to kiss her, but she settled on a ‘thanks’ instead.
Drea was not one to be looked over. She didn’t need Eleanor to tell her she looked good, but that didn’t stop her. If not her words, her eyes definitely told her heart’s desire.
“Keep looking at me like that, I might have to tell Gabbie about your wandering eye,” Drea joked. She winked from where she admired herself in the mirror, catching her eye in the reflection. If only she knew. Perhaps she did—maybe this was revenge for her revenge.
She knew Drea too well at this point. It was easier to expect a double whammy.
Drea’s phone went off. She glanced it to see several notifs coming in. Tara enjoying her spot as the new go to for parties, along with an address. Below was an unopened and gag worthy text from Russ.
She could hear him and his stupid accent saying it.
“Tara just sent you the addy,” Eleanor said instead. Drea was giddy at this, quick to grab her cell and plop next to her on the bed.
“Ooo, she said theres gonna be mermaids, mermen and merthems…how inclusive.” She joked, knowing some things never change. The girl in question wasn’t homophobic to her face, but she certainly kept a guard up when it came to things outside of what made others ‘look good.’
Tara had been mostly harmless, though. Again, just some residual and very hypocritical protectiveness over Drea. As if she hadn’t technically hurt her worse.
Eleanor laughed, “What, no lesbian mermaids? Can you really call that inclusive?”
“Maybe some things are implied,” Drea shrugged, giving her one of those looks. A playfulness that she knew only she got to see. Selfishly, she hoped that Russ never glimpsed it.
/
Eleanor drove, which was of no issue to Drea. The girl liked being a passenger. Eleanor liked the look of her in that way. She drove with a hand on the wheel and the other tapping the clutch. She thinks about placing a hand on her friend’s thigh, as they drove God knows where. Maybe on a date, maybe to run away. She just knew she’d be happy anywhere with Drea at her side.
The girl was mouthing to whatever was on the radio, fingers tapping at her phone screen.
She realized how much she took her touch for granted the coming weeks after their bout. They were good after Eleanor’s double betrayal, but the guard had gone back up. She’d deflated at the smacks at her hand when she’d unconsciously made moves to touch. She understood, but it stung a lot. Drea had initiated them again sometime after her college situation was handled.
She was lighter—happier, and their relationship felt more genuine. Or, more like she realized her feelings were real. Eleanor had technically put more effort into getting Drea to trust her again, than the day of planning to win Gabbi’s affection. It felt entirely more worth it, when Drea linked their fingers one night and laid on her chest once more.
She didn’t realize how much she missed it.
They had been drinking one night. They had talked for hours. Eleanor actually spoke of her time in therapy. She heard words whispered against her chest that she didn’t know she needed to hear anymore. ‘I’m sorry. I was so selfish. So fucking stupid.’
Eleanor had quipped back with something she doesn’t even remember at the moment. She found her breath being stolen at the memory of the body against hers, so her brain had lost too much oxygen to think clearly. She almost missed the driveway to Tara’s rented venue.
She recognized a few of the cars, some were no doubt being broken in being given as gifts for graduation. She was tempted to give one of her patented ‘love taps’ to the motor cycle parked off to the side. Bitter thoughts that left a bad taste in her mouth.
“Fashionably late—just as I like it,” Drea smiled in her seat. She flipped her sunglasses down over her eyes and grabbed her bag.
She hooked arms with Eleanor on the way inside. The blonde could pretend for a moment that they came together in more ways than just the same vehicle. She was very much failing at her little plot to care less about her friend.
Drea notices Gabbi before she does. The girl meets them in the kitchen that leads out to the pool in the back. It was empty, save from some alcohol and snacks. Everyone was outside and music could be heard through the sliding glass doors.
Drea’s arm tightens around hers. She’s smiling at Gabbi, but something about it feels familiar in all the wrong ways. That was her ‘I’m playing nice and being cordial with rich people’ smile.
“Good to see you again, Gabbi,” Drea says it in a way that sounds sincere to the naked ear, but Eleanor knows better. She smiles tightly next to her. Drea continues, “Sorry the last time wasn’t during the best circumstances.”
Ah, Eleanor thought. Maybe the girl had reservations about the sister of a guy like Max. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and all that. Gabbi seems to be none the wiser, rolling her eyes.
“Please, my brother is a dick,” She says it matter of factly. This gets a chuckle from Drea. Gabbi shrugs, “He honestly had it coming.”
They stand there for a moment in awkward silence. Shes sure it looked like friends catching up, but the arm around hers showed no sign of letting go. Gabbi wasn’t entirely naive to this, looking at her as if she expected her to push Drea away and jump into her arms.
She doesn’t release her friend until Drea decides, meeting eyes with Russ. The blue haired boy was waving from the door.
Drea regarded her quickly, “I’m gonna say hey to, Russ.” She lets her go, but her hand lingers down her arm. She makes eye contact, asking, “Find me later?” Before she’s off.
Eleanor nodded dumbly to stop herself from the urge to drop to her knees, hold her hands and say ‘Of fucking course.’
Gabbi gives her a look. She’s expecting something that she realizes she wasn’t prepared to give. She had no problem playing pretend. She was admittedly missing a few screws upstairs and lied so easily she could convince herself the sky was purple. She did go to cup the brunette’s cheeks and bring her into a kiss after a beat too long. It was what she was expected to do.
Gabbi was leaning into it, hands going around her waist.
“Do we have to go mingle with the ‘cool kids?’” Gabbi didn’t have the same disdain for them post Max’s crucifixion. She whispered against her lips with mischief on the tip of her tongue. She wanted to pull Eleanor away.
Her stupid heart still wanted to meet up with Drea. Like her pet, a part of her had fallen back into doing whatever she asked. Drea liked control and Eleanor loved giving her the illusion that she had it. She supposes there wasn’t much falsity in the fact that she wanted to see the girl again. To meet in a place that held just the two of them.
They took to meeting in the bathroom at every party once they got tired of playing the game. They would recon and gossip, sometimes well after they planned on ditching. Drea’s giggles were infectious. Or perhaps she just liked having an excuse to stare at her mouth.
Gabbi kissed her neck, soft kisses trailing downward. She giggled at the sensation, pushing the girl away playfully. They were in public for one. She felt bad leading the girl on secondly. Gabbi was a distraction certainly, but she wondered if forcing herself to be with the girl was making her unrequited affections worse.
She spends a lot of the time trying to figure out how to vocalize this. It added insult to injury to text Drea an SOS. It was never the right time between people coming up to her to ask about her plans, or how she was doing. She found her words catching in her throat.
She ends up blurting it rather uncouthly.
She wasn’t thinking. She was watching as Russ sat poolside. His feet were in the water, and he smirked down at Drea. She was beautiful, drenched in pool water and swimming between his legs. They leaned into each other to lock lips.
“I don’t think I can do this.”
Gabbi looks at her strangely. They were at the other side of the pool. She had been chatting with a few of the girls friends and eyes turned to her at her sudden outburst. Eleanor meets her eyes, before making a fist with her hands that lay against intricate tiles.
Gabbi asks her slowly, “Do…what?”
Eleanor sighs before ripping the bandaid off.
“I don’t think this…us is working. I can’t do this.”
A few things happen at once. Shes aware of the gasps from Gabbi’s friends. She watches many emotions cross her now ex’s features. She feels too bad to try and defend herself, or attempt to be comforting. Gabbi settles on anger after her mouth opens and closes a few times.
“I gave you another chance—for this?” She says darkly and Eleanor can no longer look at her. Gabbi scoffs, before shoving her into the water. “Fuck you, Eleanor!”
She hears the insult clear as day. She wants to cry at the way it doesn’t sting nearly as much from Gabbi’s lips. Nothing felt the way hurting Drea did.
She emerged from the water feeling eyes on her. Gabbi had stormed off, her friends not far behind her. She wiped her eyes, feeling empty again. She’s not sure she’s stopped feeling that void. She should’ve done this much sooner. She did kinda feel like an asshole, but she just wished she cared more.
She feels arms wrap around her.
“Lets get out of here,” is whispered in her ear. There go the feelings she was looking for. Drea guides her out of the pool, glaring at any questioning stares. “Alright guys, shows over! Back to your little mermaid fantasy.”
Eleanor would laugh if not for the feelings that threatened to beat out of her chest. Drea procured a towel that she wrapped around the blonde. She hadn’t realized she’d been shivering. It was end of June—Drea’s touch did more to her than the rays of sunlight could fathom. If the brunette noticed, she didn’t question it.
She finds herself in the bathroom soon after. Shes sitting on the toilet cover while Drea’s on the counter.
“Care to explain?” Drea asks once the silence draws on for far too long. Eleanor shifts, pulling the towel closer. Drea looks entirely too sympathetic. It shouldn’t be endearing that the girl was learning to care about other people.
Eleanor shrugs, “Some people take rejection harder than others?”
“I thought you two hit it off?” Drea sounded genuinely upset for her. A dangerous look flashed in her eyes after a beat, “Did she hurt you? I’ll fight her.”
“No, it just…” Eleanor doesn’t know quite what to say. Drea is listening rapt, leaning forward in her seat. The blonde shakes her head, “Just wasn’t meant to be, you know? It didn’t have that…that spark.”
Drea slowly nods, deciding what to say next. She couldn’t quite read the expression on the brunette’s face either. Eleanor didn’t really need her sympathy. In fact she felt incredibly guilty. Gabbi didn’t hold a candle to the girl in front of her. If she was looking for sparks, they danced around her eyes the second Drea came into a room.
Drea sighs, “I understand the feeling. You know I think I felt that way with Max too?”Eleanor looks at her, surprised she’s bringing him up. She hadn’t really mentioned him much, post him being expelled. Like a chapter being closed. Drea traced her fingers along the marble of the kitchen counter, “The video was kind of a pathetic last attempt to jumpstart our relationship.”
Eleanor was watching her fingers as she spoke. She swallowed, brows furrowing.
“Not pathetic,” She said firmly. So firmly it made Drea cock her head at her. Eleanor had a fierceness in her eyes at the thought of Max and his tyranny. He hurt Drea simply because he could—no rhyme or reason behind it. She didn’t honestly like the boy during any phase of her plan. Eleanor continued, “He was always a scrub. I mean, he fumbled you, remember?”
“And half the female population at the school…” Drea rolled her eyes. Eleanor wanted to reach out to her. She often stopped herself from feeling too outwardly, even in her friend’s presence. Old habits die hard and slow. Drea clicked her teeth, offering a smile, “But hey, aren’t I supposed to be comforting you?”
“Meeting with you like this is like a recharge in and of itself.” You make me feel comforted just by being next to me remains unsaid. Eleanor wasn’t a masochist, though the way Drea stood up and walked over to embrace her felt torturous.
/
Eleanor stands by idle, regarding the boy in front of her shortly.
“Whats up, Russ?” She nods at the blue haired boy. He’s leaning by his bike and Drea has just given him a kiss. He had no interest in staying at the party either, if they were leaving. She eyes the way his arms are around her up and down. She hopes she doesn’t sound as biting as she feels, “Treating my girl well?”
He laughs and Drea rolls her eyes.
“Best I can, though she’s a loose canon this one.” He playfully grabs at her hips and Drea shoves him, looking very shy suddenly. Loose canon was boy talk for independent. Drea wasn’t like any girl she’d seen him with before. She’s known Russ for as long as she’d known Carissa, though she didn’t know him well.
He was pretentious in a lot of ways, though he didn’t flash his wealth. He’d always been a ‘tortured’ artist type. Was that Drea’s type? Maybe she should dye her hair a fun color—the blonde was starting to grow on her, but she could do for a touch up.
Drea found her way back to her after a parting kiss and a “Text me about tomorrow.” Whispered beteen pecks.
She gagged in jest, but she would’ve done it anyway. A harmless peak into the jealousy she was making sense of. Drea found her hand quickly after, leading Eleanor back to her car while Russ revved his bike. Eleanor silently showed her disgust at the way he treated his vehicle. He rode it hard and the engine sounded awful. She could tell he was just biding his time until he dropped cash on a new one.
Drea squeezed her hand and nudged her as they walked to her car.
“You sure you don’t want me do something to Gabbi?” She sounded entirely too eager. They were both protective of each other in that way. Eleanor laughed it off but Drea leaned more into her view. “What? I’m serious…I can plot on her ass for old times sake?”
“Its not worth it,” Eleanor shrugged it off. She ran her thumb over tanned knuckles. Drea was still uneasy, eyes staring a hole into her head. Eleanor pursed her lips, “Technically I’m the asshole in this situation.”
“Better than leading someone on.” Drea countered as they reached her vehicle. She released Eleanor’s hand as she slid to the passenger side.
Eleanor let her head hit the back of the seat, exhaling softly. She didn’t know how to explain just how right Drea was in someways, yet comically off in others. She ran hands through her hair and Drea never took her dark eyes from her. She never thought she’d be in this position—having Drea Torres of all people at her side, caring for her, knowing her tells, defending her honor.
Holding her heart in perfectly manicured fingers…
Eleanor sat up suddenly.
“Lets get dinner,” She said it so absently she knew Drea was cocking her head in confusion, even before she met her eyes. She smiled wide, knowing that she couldn’t start acting weird now. She couldn’t keep moping around the fact that she was probably in love with Drea. She started the car with a new bullet point in the itinerary of her grand scheme. “I’m thinking burgers and fries…I could use some fries.”
The best way to get over someone was to get under someone else. And she was gonna have Drea help her find that someone.
Drea nodded, though she definitely had her suspicions on her suddenly chipper demeanor. Eleanor couldn’t stop smiling. She told herself that her plan was a great one. She told herself that she wasn’t simply giddy over the fact that Drea was prioritizing taking care of her, over hanging with her boyfriend. She didn’t care that they were going on a date—they were friends.
She would be fine with that. She had to be.