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I.
Tenn and Riku, like most children, smiled all the time. The smallest of curiosities would turn the corners of their lips upward, be it flowers growing next to the pavement, birds picking at crumbs on the streets, or butterflies fluttering past them. Everything in the world was a wonder waiting to be explored, experienced, and felt with every fibre of their being.
Smiles, however, are like most precious things; you only notice their importance once they're gone.
The first time Tenn realised how quickly a smile could fade was when Riku had his first attack. They were still sheltered back then. Neither of them had expected the world to throw such a cruel twist their way, so they were completely unprepared. Tenn was scared stiff when cough after cough rattled his brother's body, but as he felt himself tear up, he thought that it must be so much worse for Riku.
The desire to help Riku through this new terror didn't make his fear disappear, but it made it easier to ignore. With his own hands still shaking, Tenn held tightly onto Riku's, promising him that everything would be alright while their parents called an ambulance. He kept whispering whatever came to his mind, talking about all the plans they had made for the week, and how they wanted to spend their next holiday. After an eternity of enduring their fear, Riku finally stopped coughing.
When Tenn saw his brother smile weakly at him, he silently vowed to himself to always do anything in his power to keep that smile on Riku's lips.
II.
Over the years, Riku would become used to missing their class trips. The first time it happened, however, had been absolutely devastating. He'd been looking forward to going to Osaka with Tenn and visiting all the places he only ever saw on TV: the castle, the huge aquarium with its thousands of sea creatures, maybe the zoo if they had time, but definitely the huge moving crab in Doutonbori.
All their planning had been for naught, though. Riku had just recovered from a rather nasty cold, so their parents didn't want to risk his condition getting worse again. No matter how much they pleaded—and Tenn pleaded a lot more desperately than his brother—they wouldn't allow Riku to go.
In the end, Tenn reluctantly went on his own. He made sure to call his brother every evening to tell him about all the things they had seen and all the sights they had visited. And when he finally returned, he did so with a small crab keychain that could move its legs just the way the original did. Riku's smile was all Tenn needed to feel better, although he still would've liked it best if they could've gone together.
III.
Riku always got excited about their birthday, much more than Tenn ever could. Every year, he tried to stay awake until the clock struck midnight just so he could be the first to wish his brother a happy birthday. And yet, all the years before, Riku had always fallen asleep once their parents had sent them to bed.
So this year, he was more committed than ever and forced himself to stay awake. They couldn't keep the lights on, of course, but still, as they lay in bed, they kept chatting in silent voices, making plans for the next day (it was a Saturday, so the possibilities were infinite) and talking about everything they could think of.
After a while—it was about one hour until midnight—Riku fell silent. For a moment, Tenn thought his brother had fallen asleep before Riku turned his head to the side and asked him a question he never would've expected.
“Tenn-nii,” Riku's voice was barely above a whisper, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
Tenn had never thought about that before. After all, they were still children and the plans they made today would likely be forgotten in a few weeks already. But even if Riku didn't explain himself, Tenn knew that there must be a reason for his question. So he took his time to think about his answer seriously.
“I don't know yet. But I want to travel abroad and see the world.”
“You won't stay in Japan?”
He didn't need any lights to know how Riku's face fell. The disappointment in his voice said it all. Quickly, he added, “Not all the time. But imagine all the places we could see. We could go to Europe to see the Northern Lights. Go to America to see the Grand Canyon, or watch a Broadway show.”
“You'll take me along?”
This time, Riku's voice grew higher with excitement. Tenn was amazed at how surprised he sounded, as if he would ever make plans that didn't include him.
“Of course.” He reached out his hand until he could feel Riku's. He intertwined their pinkies in a silent promise before he said, slowly yet confidently, “We'll always be together, Riku.”
He couldn't see it in the dark, but Tenn knew there was a smile as bright as sunshine stretching across Riku's face. Without missing a beat, Riku started making plans as well, adding places they could go to and dishes they could try, while Tenn quietly chuckled to himself. He was sure Riku would manage to stay awake until midnight now.
IV.
When Riku watched Tenn perform as TRIGGER's centre for the first time, he didn't want to smile. He was still hurt by how they had parted, still not over his brother's betrayal, and even just watching him like this—surrounded by and smiling for people who weren't his family, weren't his brother—made his lungs ache from pain so very different from his attacks. It was suffocating, seeing Tenn smile and knowing it wasn't directed at him, and he almost had to turn away from the screen.
But Riku had spent his whole life watching Tenn perform. A familiar warmth spread through his body at every turn, every wink, and every perfectly executed smile. (Tenn's smile on stage was different from the ones he allowed himself when the cameras were off, but dazzling all the same.) The gentle upward curve of Tenn's lips was contagious; it had always been, and Riku found himself smiling out of habit.
As he kept watching his brother perform, Riku silently pretended that Tenn was smiling only for him.
V.
For all these years, Riku had hoped that he could one day be the one to make Tenn smile. Even when they were children, he had always wished to repay Tenn for all the times he lifted his spirit. Riku knew that his illness could've made him sink into despair; the single thing that had saved him from drowning in the darkness time and time again was his brother's smile.
(He knew that because when Tenn left, Riku had almost succumbed to the pain.)
Despite all that, Riku knew they couldn't return to their childhood days. The ties they had severed couldn’t be fixed, but they could build new ties between them. With both of them standing in the spotlight now, they could be rivals instead of brothers, even if Riku wasn't yet sure if that was enough for him. He'd have to find out along the way, but for now, it would do.
When Tenn accepted him as his rival, he only smirked at him. It wasn't a smile; there was too much defiance in the curve of Tenn's lips. It dampened Riku's mood a little, no matter how glad he was that they could finally see eye to eye.
The smile finally slipped on Tenn's face when he praised Riku for his challenge, but Riku could tell it wasn't a real smile. It was nothing like what he remembered from their childhood; it was the smile Tenn wore on stage, not as his brother, and it left Riku with a deep sense of longing. At least, he thought, they were moving in the right direction. It might take a while, but one day, he'd make his brother smile the same way Tenn did for him when they were younger.
+ I
Riku didn't know how often Tenn actually smiled because of him. For as long as Tenn could remember, Riku had been his personal ray of sunshine, his smile so bright it could shed light in the most oppressing darkness. If there was one thing Tenn didn't want to lose in this world, it was his brother's smile—it was so obvious to him that he'd always believed Riku knew.
He knew now that Riku didn't, and with everything that had happened, Tenn had missed his chance to tell him. There was a certain irony to it because not a day went by that Tenn didn't think of his brother. He didn't always smile out of happiness (when TRIGGER couldn't perform Natsu Shiyouze, Tenn hadn't been able to tear his gaze away from his brother's performance, the smile on his lips betraying the pain in his chest), yet he never once regretted keeping Riku in his thoughts.
After all his time on stage, Tenn sometimes found it difficult to return to simply being Riku's brother. He couldn't risk the media finding out, anyway, or at least that was what he told himself. In truth, Tenn was scared that they wouldn't be able to mend what he had broken.
When TRIGGER went up against IDOLISH7 during their first Black or White, Tenn couldn't help his smile as he watched Riku perform. And even when TRIGGER lost, the smile on Tenn's lips only grew wider. (He was thankful that by then, the spotlight had already faded, and only Gaku and Ryuu could see his face.) Tenn was unbelievably proud of what Riku had accomplished. At that moment, he could finally feel himself slip back into his role as an older brother.
The moment he faced Riku on stage and congratulated him for his victory, he did so as his brother, not as TRIGGER's Kujou Tenn. For a heartbeat, he could tell Riku everything he had wanted—how he had watched his singing, his dancing, and his smile with a smile of his own.
And when he saw the way Riku smiled at him in return, he thought that one day, they could finally return to how things had been.