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He would never have been confident enough to request this if he was still living at the incubator. With people always coming and going, and Erlich barging his way into his room when something isn’t going his way. There was the slim chance his loft would’ve fallen over and people would’ve seen and he’d never live it down-
“Richard? This was your request, and it is your decision if you want to change your mind.”
But they’re not at the incubator, and their bed is large and on the ground and Jared spent at least five minutes carefully arranging every pillow they own against the headboard. Physically, he's probably the most comfortable he can be, situated in the center of the pillow mound with his feet in Jared’s lap, but he’s never actually tried this before. The resulting anxiety sent his stomach roiling, but Jared’s reassurances that it’s fine, perfectly natural, and he’s more than willing to discuss the details, kept him from vomiting so far.
“If you don’t mind my asking, what led you to desire this sexual fetish?”
Richard grabs the bedside trash can and vomits. Jared rushes up and rubs his back and apologizes at least ten times.
“I’m…” He accepts a glass of water and rinses his mouth, “I’m okay. Just… Just a little nervous. A lot nervous.”
Jared nods. “Unfamiliar sexual exploits are often nerve wracking.” Yeah no kidding. “I was just curious Richard. You are in no way obligated to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable.”
“Well I… it’s just a little embarrassing.”
“You have nothing to be ashamed about Richard. If something will make you happy I think we should give it a try.”
Richard nods. He really wants to try this. He’s spent a shameful amount of time reading all the Wikipedia fetish articles. Most of them flat out scare him, but…
But letting someone else be in control sounds very appealing.
Pied Piper stresses him out terribly and it all falls on his shoulders. All the decisions, all the responsibility, it’s all his burden. He doesn’t regret his choice, but sometimes he thinks it would be nice if he could just give the power to someone else.
“Richard, if you’ll wait here a moment, I think I have an idea. I’ll be back as quickly as possible.”
Richard rests against the pillows and dicks around on his phone until Jared returns an hour later. He smiles and presents Richard with a black shopping bag.
It’s from a sex shop.
Jared went into a sex shop.
And he looks so proud.
He doesn’t find anything too horrifying, a blindfold and clothe and velcro restraints, and he is not ready for this. Just as he starts breathing fast Jared grabs both of the items and sets them aside. He laces his fingers with Richard’s and touches their foreheads together.
“Richard, do you trust me?” He nods. He trusts Jared so much. “I’m going to cover your eyes if that’s okay?”
“Okay.”
He’s not sure he can handle this but Jared is here. He’s here and he’s rubbing his hands through Richard’s hair and then there’s a cloth over his eyes.
His hands feel twitchy until Jared grabs them and helps guide him so he’s lying on his side in the pile of pillows. Jared slots in behind him and gently pins his arms to his chest.
And that’s all. No clothes coming off, no kissing, just darkness and long arms holding him in place.
“Is this alright Richard?”
He nods. “Can I have my headphones?”
“Of course,” Jared slips away, and after a minute he helps Richard sit up long enough to slip on the headphones, then pulls him back down to resume their earlier position.
No sights, no sounds, Richard can only smell and touch (He’s not about to lick the bed.) and he's surprised by how good it feels.
He falls asleep feeling warm and safe. He only sleeps a couple hours but it feels like a full night’s rest.
Jared is still behind him, holding onto his waist. Richard pulls off his headphones and the blindfold and gently pats Jared’s face until he wakes up.
“Oh, hello Richard.”
“Hey.” He tangles their legs together.
“How do you feel?”
“Good.” He nods. “Really good.”
--
“You’re certain?”
Richard nods as he gently runs his fingers over the fabric of the blindfold. “I think it’s a good time to try.”
“I don’t think I’m comfortable saying anything aggressive? Maybe um… Richard you’re a - I’m sorry!” He hugs Richard. He couldn’t even say anything mean out loud. “I’m sorry. I love you. I’m so sorry.”
“Jared, Jared it’s okay. I just… I just want you to… to control everything. You can say whatever you want.”
Jared sighs. “What if you want to stop?”
“Um… I’ll say…” A hundred terrible words float through his head, including Erlich and Pied Piper and brogrammer and, “Fage?”
“The yogurt?”
“Yeah, sure. I think it’ll work.”
“Alright. Tell me if you would like something else.”
“No um… it’s all up to you.”
Jared nods. He reaches out and slowly unzips Richard’s sweatshirt and gently pushes it off his shoulders. Richard’s shirt is one of those gaudy old dad bowling shirt button ups. Jared leaves it alone and instead slips the blindfold over Richard’s eyes. Jared kisses him once. “Wrists please.”
He reaches out. The sound of velcro makes his breath speed up. Hands secure something over his right wrist and Jared pushes him back so he’s propped up against the pillows. His arms are moved so his hands are parallel to his ears and the second cuff is attached. Richard gives them a light tug, testing the strength, and his chest feels so full and warm when he finds he can’t easily break free.
Jared kisses his cheek and Richard turns to kiss him but Jared has moved down and… off the bed? Richard moves his legs a bit and he never finds Jared. But he’s patient, he can wait.
He tugs once more at the restraints and feels the slow burn of arousal start to make him feel foggy.
Then Jared’s back with a kiss to his neck and nimble fingers undoing his pants. Richard does his best to keep quiet; he wants to hear every move Jared makes.
“Richard, I need you to lift your hips please.” He nods and tenses his legs until Jared pulls down his jeans, leaving his boxers, and slowly sliding his hands down Richard’s legs, taking off Richard’s socks as well.
Jared grabs his foot and- okay, not what he expected, but Jared’s massaging the arches of Richard’s feet with his thumbs, and it feels nice. His breathing settles, only to hitch when Jared parts his legs to move up to Richard’s calves. The backs of his knees are ticklish, he laughs as Jared moves up to his lower thighs, rubbing the front and back, slowly inching upward farther and farther until he’s reaching up inside the bottom of Richard’s boxers and- oh.
Jared’s hand are on his hips, holding him in place as he mouths over Richard's boxers. Richard bends his legs, caging Jared in, touching his bare sides - Jared took off his shirt before holy shit. He stretches his leg down Jared’s side until, yep, he was right, Jared is not wearing any clothes.
It’s not what he pictured but it’s everything he’s ever wanted.
--
His shirt is open. Boxers gone. Legs splayed with Jared between them, preparing him slowly, gently; he wants Jared to move on but he needs Jared to call the shots, needs him to take away all of Richard’s control and just let him react to what someone else decides.
And then they’re pressed chest to chest, Jared kissing him, pressing in, telling him, “you look so beautiful Richard,” and “I love you so much.”
Jared’s angle is damn near perfect. Richard makes a mental note of their position. It feels good, so good. Jared is kissing him and he strains against the cuffs and his chest feels tight because it’s so… so good and he’s… he’s...
He’s overwhelmed.
It’s so much, too much, but so wonderful. His eyes prickle and he sniffs.
“Jared?”
Jared hums, “Richard.”
He kisses Richard’s neck and that is not helping. “Jared, um… Jared can you… wait, Jared wait, please, my hands-”
Jared quickly undoes one of the cuffs and Richard pulls Jared down on top of him. He feels Jared slow and start to pull out but he doesn’t want that, not at all, he just wants to touch and hold. He slings a leg up and pulls Jared back down.
“Richard are you alright?” He nods against Jared’s shoulder, already feeling the panic recede. “Would you like to stop?”
“No, no I… don’t stop. Please don-” Jared begins moving slowly. “Hah, yeah.”
Jared kisses him. “Would you like the blindfold off?” Richard shakes his head. “Alright.”
Richard knows he’s crying a little and he doesn’t want to spook Jared into stopping. The perfect angle is back and Richard’s feeling the pleasure steadily building again.
Jared starts squeezing his ribs tight and he’s close, so close, Richard is certain Jared will finish first. And he’s right. Jared slows to a stop and Richard pets his sweaty hair.
His movements are clumsy but Jared uses his hands and his mouth and Richard is tugging at Jared’s hair and he never had a chance at lasting. As he relaxes into the pillows Jared undoes the other cuff and places a hand on the blindfold.
“You may want to close your eyes, Richard. It’s rather bright in the room.”
Richard nods and closes his eyes. He feels the blindfold slide off and Jared helps him turn onto his side, his back to the window. Jared touches his cheek and he opens his eyes; Jared’s thumb rubs over the drying tears on his cheekbone. He looks distraught.
“Did I upset you?”
“No uh… it was good.”
“But I made you cry?”
“I got uh… overwhelmed a little. But… I didn’t want to stop.”
“It was okay?” He starts rubbing Richard's side.
Richard nods. “It was really good.”
“Really?”
Richard pulls Jared close. “You were amazing. I love you. Thank you so much.”
Jared grins. “Oh! You’re welcome.”
Even though he’d rather sleep Jared insists they bathe and clean up Richard’s wrists. He only has some rug burn but he knows, if nothing else, it will make Jared feel good to help.
Jared helps him reach the bathroom; he didn’t realize he’d be so wobbly afterwards. They take a warm shower together during which Richard nearly falls asleep against Jared’s chest. He lets Jared disinfect and wrap his wrists in gauze, smiling when Jared Kisses his fingers, grin wide and contagious.
They pull on flannel pants and sweaters and set up on the chaise. Jared brings him water and makes him hot chocolate and they cuddle under a blanket to watch movies all afternoon.
He realizes, as they’re falling asleep, that this was a good thing for Jared too. Jared, who up until Pied Piper was a ‘yes sir right away sir’ employee, who dealt with countless foster homes and beratement, who’s opinion didn’t matter, but the control Richard gave up was the same control Jared received.
And in a few weeks when Richard is feeling stressed and tired they’ll do it again. Afterwards they’ll smile and cuddle and, at least for a little while, Richard will feel calm and carefree.