Chapter Text
Jason sat scrolling through his Instagram feed as he waited for his therapy appointment. He sat in the small waiting room, biding his time. Someone else came in and sat, but you didn’t acknowledge people in a therapy waiting room, that was the courteous thing to do.
After a while Jason glanced up and saw a brown curl out of the corner of his eye. He cracked his neck, which gave him a better view of the other person. They were dressed in all black, silver rings on their fingers and their leg was bouncing as if they weren’t capable of sitting still.
Jason scowled as he continued looking through his phone. He had a crush on Eddie Munson in high school. There was no way Eddie was sitting in the waiting room of Jason’s therapist’s office 12 years later.
“Jason Carver?” Eileen called.
“Eddie Munson?” A female voice down the hall called.
Jason bolted for Eileen’s office.
She grinned at him, “I didn’t keep you waiting too long, did I?”
Eddie Munson. Eddie Munson. The name was swirling around Jason’s head like clothes going through a laundry machine.
This had to be a sick fucking joke.
“Jason, can you hear me? I need you to take some deep breaths for me.” Eileen's voice sounded like it was far away.
Breaths, right, breathing. Jason could do that. He inhaled sharply letting the breath fill his chest. Then he let the breath out through his mouth.
On the second inhale he finally made eye contact with Eileen. The older woman smiled at him, “There you go, Jason.” Her motherly voice was slightly comforting and it was nice to have someone else there to bring him out of the state of panic he had been in.
He finally sat down, anxiously leaning forward in his seat, his eyes glancing towards the door as if Eddie would burst through it at any minute.
Eileen cautiously asked, “Something going on my friend?”
Jason let out another breath. It was just Eileen. If it was another therapist he might have tried to hide what was going on, but Eileen was the best therapist Jason had ever had, so he would try for her.
He took a deep breath, “Remember in high school I bullied my crush, because I couldn’t accept that I was gay? I thought he was evil somehow and someway justified being an asshole to him?”
Eileen spoke up, “Jason your thoughts at that time came from your strict Christian upbringing. That’s not who you are anymore.”
It helped to hear that. It helped to hear an external voice tell him he wasn’t quite the same asshole he was twelve years ago.
Jason continued pushing on, “Well, the guy, the guy I bullied, Eddie, he’s here apparently going to his own appointment down the hall.”
She nodded, “I can see why that would trigger you.”
“Me? Why would it trigger me? I called him a fag and a homo every day for four years and look who’s the big homo now.” Jason gestured to himself.
Eileen reminded him, “Jason, we said we would work on the negative self-talk.”
He rolled his eyes, “Okay, look who’s the big homosexual now.”
Eileen gave him a tired look that she reserved for when he was being particularly dense.
Jason reflected for a moment, “I don’t want to say I was triggered, that sounds like he was a part of the trauma, but he wasn’t not ever, even though I was the biggest dick to him.”
The older woman nodded in agreement, “But seeing him reminded you of the most traumatic time of your life.”
“Yeah,” Jason relented.
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“Look, Doc. I don’t know if you’re trying to do some scared straight bullshit, but bringing in my high school bully is crossing the line. Probably breaks the hippocratic oath.”
Doctor Naseer looked over her glasses at him, “Eddie, what are you talking about?”
He flung his arms to the door, “Jason, my high school bully was in the fucking waiting room!”
She crossed her legs, “You don’t think it was a coincidence?”
“It's a coincidence that my high school bully from middle of nowhere Indiana just so happens to turn up in Chicago at my therapist’s office 12 years later? No one has that bad of luck…except for me.” Eddie sat in the chair stunned.
Doctor Naseer gave him a small smile, "These things do happen you know."
"But why do they always happen to me?" Eddie asked, looking up to the ceiling as if the universe would pity him and give him an answer.
His therapist chimed in, "It seems that it upset you to see him again."
"I mean the guy called me a fag and a homo everyday for four years."
She thankfully didn't look at him with pity, but she did say, "I'm sorry."
"It's alright," Eddie patted his knees, "He wasn't wrong. Here I am, biggest homo the world has ever seen."
His therapist chimed in, "There is nothing wrong with being gay, Eddie."
Eddie had stood and was now pacing. He gestured towards the door, "Tell him that! He was raised like super fucking Christian and he literally would call me a cult leader."
"People often demonize what is different from their upbringing." Doctor Naseer provided.
Eddie knew that was true, but still, he had dealt with Jason enough for one lifetime. He asked, "Can we change my appointment time?" He was not going to risk running into Jason again.
Doctor Naseer asked, "What happened to not running away from our problems?" She had a small smile that meant she was teasing as she pulled out her appointment book.
She flipped through it and Eddie knew bad news was coming, "I'm sorry Eddie, I'm all booked up. We can do a virtual appointment next week if that helps?"
"Yeah, yeah that's fine." Even though Eddie didn't like virtual appointments. He didn't do well focusing and his mind wandered too much to be productive. He knew this and Doctor Naseer knew this, but he appreciated her giving Eddie an out just this once. The last thing he wanted was to keep running into Jason Carver.