Archive of Our Own

            The pink haired girl looked at Sunny, dazed at what he had just explained to all of them.

         Sunny… he killed… her…                                                            

         She clutched her hand in a fist irately against her hip. As much as she had promised not to delve back into her anger, she couldn’t think of a better response to all of this. Sunny killed Mari. He murdered her, his own sister, and lied about her death for four years to all of them.

         Hero raced out of the room with Kel following concernedly behind him, calling out his name as he bolted out the door after him.

         It was just the three of them in that room.

         Was she supposed to get angry at him? He cried, of course he did. She could feel her own tears wobbling their way down her distraught face. It seemed like he had something else to say that he was still holding back, but she wasn’t going to any longer.

         Aubrey audaciously sauntered over to the frail boy covered completely in medical bandages. If she hit him now he just might die, so she did everything she could to stop herself from dealing with things the same way she always did.

         She still felt the slightest bit of care for him, even if she didn’t want to at all. The feeling of concern for her old quiet friend battled to stay afloat in the maelstrom of hatred brewing inside of her.

         Mari was everything to all of them. He took everything away. It meant everything to her.

         Maybe he should have been the one to die that day. Not her. She didn’t deserve what happened to her. 

         She realized her emotions would get her nowhere, instead opting to flee from the two of them the same way Hero did, pushing him harshly on her way out as a warning for what might happen if he showed his face near her again.

         That day was just a few months ago now. This morning, she had been met with the shock of seeing him all of the sudden appear at their school for the first time in years. People treated the almost mute boy like some kind of a renowned celebrity, the white medical eyepatch that he wore unconfidently was a gentle sign that he wasn’t the kind of person you should interact with much unless you’re looking for trouble. He’d grown a tiny bit, just slightly below Aubrey’s height, although he didn’t seem to be any more muscular or less pale than back then.

         He kept very much to himself with the exception of Basil and Kel, and was still as selfless as he was before Mari died, showing up early just to spend the next fifteen minutes or so to hold the doors open for people as they walked in. He never managed to greet them with a smile, especially Aubrey, flaunting his regular expressionless blank face, conveying to anyone who knew what it meant that he felt out of place here, his full interest fixated on whatever wacky or terrifying thought his head might be entertaining.

         Around Aubrey though, his behavior had been enough to piss her off whenever they’d encounter each other, usually at random. He acted less like a servant and more like a slave to her, begging for a forgiveness that he’d never, ever receive. If he wanted to make up for what he did he shouldn’t have done it in the first place. Every slight tweak of his face, the most expression he ever showed really, was a reminder of everything that she lost, as she was forced to acknowledge the resemblance between the two siblings.

         One time she even let loose and admitted to him how Mari shouldn’t have been the one to die that day, only to be met with what seemed like a melancholy, but agreeing sigh.

         She slowly grew to almost hate him with a burning passion, even though she could rarely find it in her to pick on him directly, instead opting to simply make his day worse from afar whenever she caught herself feeling down. It didn’t bring her mood up at all to do so, but at least she felt like she was getting her revenge for the hell he put her through, all of them.

         How the hell did Kel and Hero even forgive him? Weren’t Hero and Mari dating? Did she mean nothing to them?

         The last thing Aubrey wanted to do was “move on”, whatever that was supposed to mean. If she forgot about Mari like they did then no one would be there to think of her, or to visit her grave and bring her flowers. Well, apart from the very person who killed her. They occasionally noticed the other standing by her grave when he first arrived in Faraway, until eventually there became a silent agreement on who would visit Mari and when. He’d usually bring just a lone flower that he likely grew himself, apparently he’d been living with Basil, presumably in the spare room his grandmother had left behind.

         All his presence did was make her sick to the stomach, although she wondered how much of that she’d been lead to believe by Kim, who found her skipping rocks at the lake the day he confessed the truth about Mari.

         Kim was a good friend and all, but she never seemed to understand what Aubrey was going through, her solutions were mere band aids on the gaping hole in her chest. Yet it was all she could do in the end, there was nothing to fix said hole, and even if there was, life was never kind enough to her for the idea of it to become a reality. The idea of getting over Mari’s death, getting better, were distant dreams that she knew weren’t worth seeking. She’d live with that gaping hole in her heart until she forgot all about it, or the rest of her life if she ended up being too stubborn to.

         Reality is all so stupid, like some stupid game of punishment, it decides to torture some, and leave others unharmed and blissful. The amount you enjoy life all seemed to be based upon how little you truly were aware of the punishing nature it bore. Just a stupid, dumb, idiotic game of punishment.

         God was it stupid as hell.

         It shocked the monochrome and expressionless boy to be greeted with such kindness upon reaching his old best friend’s house, even after all that had transpired between the two of them. Greeted by a gentle yet cheerful hug, imbuing his line of sight with matted streaks of blonde hair, and the smell of freshly baked cookies, though they didn’t hold a candle to the ones Mari used to make for all of them.

         Polly had taken good care of Basil in the recent months, even going as far to get him a therapist and put him on medication. He was terrified of it at first, but eventually gave it a chance thanks to Kel’s constant nagging. It even caused Sunny to bear some interest in the idea, although he never tried seeing a therapist, too unnerving for him. He had his friends, well some of them at least, and he was doing okay. Just okay. He didn’t need more than that wanting anything more would be foolish, selfish if anything else.

         He did end up visiting a tutor that summer; missing out on four entire years of school brought an immense pressure into his life when it came to his future, so there was hardly much of a choice when it came to salvaging the complete mess that was his education. He was still behind quite a bit to this day, especially in math, a subject more tiresome and repetitive than his adventures in headspace, but he was catching up. At this rate he’d be prepared for college by the time he was eighteen, with a few things that he’d have to teach himself while he was there.

         Eighteen.

         It didn’t feel like a place he would ever reach, not just because of how childlike he saw himself in comparison to those around him, but he figured that he’d end up taking his own life by then no matter what. A grim reality, sure, but one he was accustomed to. Suicide was somewhat of a luxury to someone like him. It’d come at the cost of worrying everyone around him, shaking their lives, even if he wasn’t truly sure if they cared.

         The idea that people would hold an entire funeral for him was almost disturbing. It would be easier if he could simply disappear, like he never existed in the first place. His life didn’t mean much to anyone, he was forgettable, even to his close friends. They wouldn’t be miserable if he had never existed, in fact, things would have turned out so much better if he was never born. He was like an addiction. Perhaps that was the only way he could come up with describing it. Not needed at all, in fact a curse if anything, but if you suddenly removed him from everyone’s lives without proper measures, things would explode.

         An ideal world would be one here he never existed in the first place, where the others were still all friends, and Mari was still with them. Unfortunately there was nothing he could do to fully erase himself from this world, not even his own death would go as painless as he dreamt of, where everyone might rejoice that he was finally gone, a burden to all of their lives one way or another, removed completely. His mom wouldn’t struggle to pay for them both any longer, Basil and Kel wouldn’t have to waste so much time on him, Aubrey wouldn’t have to continue to bear the sight of him.

         I wish that was the world for me.

         Dwelling in these thoughts only lead to more misery though, he came to school with his old friends to be happy, or well, be as close to being happy as he could.

         I hope you can find some peace, or you know… some happiness.

         Aubrey’s words still stuck with him, seemingly more than anyone else’s. She’d been the only one who hadn’t at least claimed to forgive him. Hero was clearly still broken by it, Kel had ranted as much about his older brother to him, but he tried his best to be mature, and do what Mari would have wanted.

         Basil and Kel seemed to be fine with him, but they hardly got along, largely due to how Sunny had no interest in anything at this point, they were all momentary distractions for him. The closest thing he had to an interest were the crude sketches he’d occasionally attempt to create, the image in his mind so awfully recreated on a sheet of paper that itself must have been mortified with the disappointing result of his drawings that even a child could outdo.

         Leaving his endless void of thoughts behind, despite how many times it urged him to submerge himself into it once again, Sunny entered his friend’s home gratefully, admiring the many varieties of delicate flowers adorning it. Basil had regrown his interest in them recently. In fact, he was more passionate about them now than ever, dreaming of becoming a florist one day.

         What would I be?

         Since he wasn’t at all prepared for the idea of a long, fulfilling life, it wasn’t a question that he forced himself to ponder much, not that he could for very long without then debating all of his regrets, only making things so much worse.

         His new room thankfully didn’t leave him with many painful memories of his fight with Basil back then, something he had been worrying about ever since the idea came up between the two of them. It was cozy, to a limited extent. He didn’t feel at home there, despite how much he was welcomed. He was still at someone else’s house, it wasn’t his. Even his new home in the city was still taking some getting used to, but it didn’t have this uncomfortable feeling surrounding it.

         You are far from home.

         He could still feel his typical empty face adorning him, something that had become his only expression by now. The only time he felt upset about the way he looked had been on his birthday. He’d been home alone that day, Basil, Kel, and Hero all gave him a call. It was okay. He didn’t like the cupcake his mom bought him very much, the only taste he really cared for was almost pure sugar. Otherwise taste never really mattered to him.

         It just felt… appalling. That he couldn’t be happy on his sixteenth birthday like everyone else was supposed to be. That it was… an unpleasant day to him, worse than days where nothing happened at all for some reason.     

         It felt empty without Aubrey especially, somehow his mind couldn’t remove her from his thoughts. They hadn’t talked since he confessed the truth, and based on her reaction things didn’t seem promising between the two of them despite how many times Kel reminded him to stay positive.

         She’ll come around some day.

         No she won’t.

         That’s fine.

         Actually, that was what he had been hoping to do today. A chance to see her again was exactly what he’d been longing for. He wasn’t exactly sure why, in fact part of him coveted to hear her lash out at him and talk about how he was an unforgivable monster. The other… well… to put it simply hadn’t forgotten his feelings for her years ago, in fact with her captivating new look, things had developed into a worse situation in that department.

         Eventually that chance had come, and he diligently snuck out of the house when the sun had been beginning to set, and waited just outside of her house on the sidewalk. A confrontation with all of the hooligans would prove rather difficult, especially if they didn’t know the truth, so he’d be glad if it was just the two of them.

         Eventually, she came, brushing the sight of him off at first before he tugged at the back of her jacket as she passed him by to grab her attention.

         “I’m sorry.” He pleaded, it seemed the most sensible thing he could think of. He wasn’t accustomed to his emotions at all, not to mention how rarely he felt them even now, so it hindered what he could think of saying to her greatly. Nothing made sense, it all seemed fake. They were fake. His emotions didn’t really exist, he just faked them around people.

         “Sorry? Sorry doesn’t…”

         The delinquent let out an infuriated groan before pushing his hand away and walking off. It seemed she just didn’t want to talk at all, unusual for someone as confrontational as her. He didn’t feel like begging so he walked off as well back to Basil’s house. He didn’t expect things to go well, but it left a bitter feeling in his heart to see her like that.

         That was their first confrontation. A few others followed, his attempts to help her out and be kind never ceased, but neither did her discontentment for him, her burning hatred. Yet it felt emptier than ever for her when he went back home for winter break that year, a time where she’d finally be safe from his constant, pitiful, pathetic nagging for forgiveness, or at least some form of peaceful acknowledgement.

         Christmas was awful for her as usual, nothing new. It brought back memories of spending those holidays with her friends back then, a time she’d never get to return to, all thanks to what he did. Occasionally she’d have to force herself to forget a thought of spending Christmas together with him, and the others too. For whatever reason those thoughts appeared in her head. Maybe because they were both such miserable, despicable people.

         Sunny had similar thoughts often, though his Christmas was probably worse thanks to his unending nightmares. Holidays returned a tense feeling to him of what he had done, and how he’d never feel alive and happy again. Thoughts of Mari and his friends took the forefront of his mind, reminding him that things would never be the same; that he’d never enjoy a holiday again. It may have been the worst consecutive few weeks he’d ever had truthfully, that relentless taunting and set of nightmares from his head, demanding him to take his life among other things.

         Maybe next year.

         All he could do was postpone his eventual end, there was nothing for him to cling onto. Without his blissful ignorance of the truth, he was left with nothing, only striving to make things “manageable”. He dreadfully needed something to cling onto, something or someone that understood him, could help him. Unfortunately he’d never get that lucky.

         It’s silly how movies always use romance to get people out of their depression, when it ends up hurting most in real life, at least so he’d heard. Romance was another thing he knew he shouldn’t be allowed to feel, his thoughts towards Aubrey, ideas bearing such a nature, existed to taunt him with what was forever out of his grasp.

         You’d never be that lucky, you deserve to rot. This is what you deserve, and it’s what you’ll live with for the rest of your life.

         However long that lasts.

         “Hey Aubrey,” Kim smirked, “I hear that weirdo’s back in town.”

         The group sat in their usual spots at the pizzeria, sharing two large pies set on each of the two square tables conjoined together.

         “Yeah so what about it?” She groaned, the thought had been on her mind for quite some time as well.

         “Well, I was thinking…”

         Kim’s plots were often nothing short of devious, she could beat practically anyone in a battle of psychological warfare. Despite the wrathful disposition that granted Aubrey the role of leader a while back, Kim had since then taken the role after Aubrey struggled to deal with news of what happened to Mari.

Suffice it to say, she became ruthless and cold-hearted, perhaps an attempt to completely make up for what they’d lost in Aubrey. Her “family” that she found in the hooligans were all that mattered to her, in fact it was safe to say she hardly cared at all about anyone else. She’d get her way, no matter how cruel she had to be.

Eventually it really seemed to get to her head to the point where she’d almost created a power fantasy for herself, granting an image of a devious schemer matched by none. She even considered herself superior around the hooligans, though half of that was a joke.

         “You wanna get back at him? Break em’ like he did you?” 

         Aubrey stared quizzically at her, wondering just what her idea entailed, as well as confirming her interest in the bizarre offer.

         “Well, how about this. Prom’s coming up in around two months, and I assume you don’t plan on going with anyone right? You’d have to play the long game, but with a loser like him it’d be pretty easy to trick him.”

         “Are you saying I’m supposed to…”

         “Exactly!”

         “Absolutely not. Never. Nope.”

         “Aww come on, just think about it a little more! You don’t even have to get that close to him, not to mention it’s only two months. His face will be priceless, no doubt worth it if you ask me. Plus it’ll get him to stop bothering you all the time.”

         “So I’m just supposed to get him to ask me out, and then not show up?”

         “Not quite. You’ll show up alright. You’ll captivate that loser, get em to feel safe and all that sappy nonsense. Then, you announce it’s all fake, he runs off crying after getting embarrassed in front of the whole school, revenge achieved.”

         She spoke that last line while chowing down on the final slice of pizza, which she’d snatched right under Mikael’s nose while distracting all of them with her fancy new plan, something she’d conjured up watching a bunch or random Disney movies with her cousins out of sheer boredom.

         Truthfully, the idea wasn’t that awful to Aubrey, and considering how much Sunny had been captivating her thoughts, it’d be nice to finally deal with him once and for all, even if the idea seemed a little extreme. She wasn’t exactly sure why they could all just tie him up and bully him if they wanted to hurt him that badly, although they didn’t exactly do messed up stuff like that in the first place.

         “I’ll think about it.”

         “So it’s on then!”

         “I said, I’d think about it.”

         “Psshh, think all you want, you know that’s the best I’ve come up with in quite some time.” She both teasingly and dramatically raised her hand up above her head, bringing out her dramatic voice and draping her body over the chair like a theater kid, “Oh, if only it could marvel last year’s plan to trick Mikael into-”

         “Shut up!”                

         The entire gang expect for him chucked as they recalled that day.

         That was a day that fundamentally changed him, even to the point where he had made a compromise to no longer get upset when they spoke of the name he’d cast away, he even gave up some of his other “cringey” habits to get them to shut up about it.

         “So when should I go for it?” The pinkette muttered dejectedly. She was ready to go along with whatever Kim had in mind, it was worth a shot at least. She could imagine it a little, although she couldn’t tell if it made her exited or not. Something about it felt wrong, even if she was supposed to like it.

         She was, supposed to like it right?

         “Well, why not start today?”

         “What?!”

         Kim licked the tomato sauce off her fingers noisily before continuing, “Well,” A final lick broke her sentence before she returned to speaking, “if you started things too suddenly, I’m sure his friends would get kind of suspicious, and I don’t want that loser Kel anywhere near me, so don’t do that. Just, you know, take this week to get to know him. Find a spot to have a nice talk, and then later, either he asks you, or you ask him, whatever it takes. It doesn’t matter how close you two get by the end of it all, he just has to ask you to prom.”

         She let out a regretful sigh, did she really just sign up for this? Well, with Kim there wasn’t a choice in the end, she lost this battle the moment the idea flew into the candy craving tomboy’s head.

         She didn’t want to be out too late, for whatever reason the drunken demon that was her mother decided to get upset if she wasn’t out too long, calling her dirty things sometimes even. She resorted to grabbing some paper and a piece of tape from Kim’s house, hearing an intriguing lecture on their way there about how she was supposed to fake her interest and all that. Ideally she’d be able to avoid all that and get it over with, but Kim was more passionate about this plot of hers than any before it seemed, maybe just because she was on the receiving end of it.

         Aubrey asked her if she could wait a month so she didn’t have to spend nearly as long getting familiar with the one person she despised the most, but Kim said it just wouldn’t work as well. While normally she wouldn’t listen to people making her do things she reviled, Kim was an exception, mainly because if she didn’t she’d get annoyed endlessly about it. She basically had no choice but to go along with the plan. Sometimes friends are a pain to keep.

         They taped the note to Sunny’s window which read “Meet me at the swings, 7:30” hoping that would be enough, making sure to only reach their hands over to do in case he was currently in there. Had he seen them spying on him the plan might as well be over at that point, or at least Aubrey would be too mortified to continue with it.

         Thankfully it was enough, as the boy showed up exactly where and when as promised with timing that seemed almost scarily accurate. His somber steps as he trudged his way over almost made Aubrey reconsider, there was no way she’d be spending two months with that deformed husk of a person. Oddly enough, his eyepatch was off, and despite common rumors, there was still an eye left in there. She could at least ask about that when she tried to make conversation.

         This is gonna be awful.

         He was certainly shocked when he noticed her of all people waiting there. Things had been awful between them until all of the sudden she seemed to want to apologize? Either that or his time to be beaten to death had finally arrived.

They hadn’t seen each other since he left for winter break. Maybe that somehow got her to change her thoughts? If not then he’d be correct that today was the day she’d release all of her anger onto him. Either was welcome.

         Once Sunny had taken his seat, almost like he was reenacting their old routine, she let out an exasperated sigh.

         Here goes nothing, or whatever.

         “Hey, it’s uhh… It’s been a while huh.”

         Sunny just nodded back as expected.

         “How have you been lately?” This was getting nowhere already, she’d have to stop stalling and carry the entire conversation somehow. “I know I haven’t exactly been nice to you and all.”

         He mumbled like a zombie, bearing only a hint of curiosity in his timid voice. “I’ve been… fine. How about… you?”

         “Oh, that’s good to hear I guess. I’ve been doing okayish myself I guess.” She’d debated saying her next line for quite some time prior. As little as she believed it, to the point where it felt like sin to speak it, it was the best way to get Sunny to feel closer and safer around her. “I’ve been thinking about it for some time, and I still don’t forgive you yet, but I know Mari would want me to. So, I wanted to tell you that, I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you and stuff. I should have tried my best to be there for you, instead all I did was pick on you whenever you tried to help me.”

         How much of that was true?

         Part of her thoughts seemed to shift suddenly, a feeling she wasn’t at all expecting, having been stuck on the same ideas for so very long. Yet, she realized why it happened, she’d always talk about her problems like this, with him, and there was a reason it helped.

         Does that mean she should stop here before she found herself forgiving the freak?

         “I…” He appeared too stunned to speak, although he predicted she might say that eventually. Truthfully, he wasn’t expecting her to say it like that though, invoking Mari’s name. He did his best to convince himself that Mari had forgiven him, but especially lately, his nightmares demanded he think otherwise. He was vulnerable right now, too vulnerable. As he started interacting with people more and more, he built walls around himself, learning how to stay protected from others, but right now after what he went through on Christmas, those mountains of dark thoughts, he wasn’t capable of shutting himself away the same.

         “Thank you.” Was all he could muster.

         “No… I should be thanking you, for putting up with all of that. I’ve been a total jerk, but I’ve been ignoring how I still care about you and such.” Huh, she said the same thing to him back then on the same swings, the day before he confessed the truth. “Speaking of which, have you been eating better and all that?”

         It dawned upon her that her words didn’t feel fake to her. Was seeing him in a different light all it took?

         This is embarrassing.

         “Oh umm… it’s kind of been hard too, but I’ve been doing a little better. I try to eat three meals a day, but they’re much smaller than what Polly and Basil have.”

         “You didn’t earlier?”

         “Back then… I think I’d eat maybe… once a week usually, maybe twice. I lost track of time. I’d usually throw up after, but I got by… I guess.”

         “No wonder you’re so skinny, you really did that to yourself?”

         “I… started it because I didn’t think I deserved to eat, but eventually I just didn’t care at all. I could sleep longer the less I ate too, so that helped.”

         “How much did you sleep?”

         “It was probably around sixteen to eighteen hours a day, there wasn’t really anything el-”

         “Sunny!” She stopped herself immediately, why did she let her voice slip like that? Why was she that invested in his misery? “Oh, sorry. It’s just… I don’t know… is there anything else you did?”

         It snapped him out of his odd rant for a moment, to realize that he’d been venting to her about these things. He never told anyone about that, his mother lectured him for hours about how people might take him away if he said such things. That they didn’t understand their circumstances.

         “Not really. I did chores sometimes, but that was it.” He responded as he lowered his head a bit before leaning his neck to the side to stretch it. Apparently it’d gotten really stiff over his four years, so he grew a habit of flicking it to the sides every now and then.

         “You must’ve had some crazy dreams then huh?”

         “I wish I could forget them honestly.”

         “I guess that makes more sense, I had an awful nightmare the day I pushed Basil into the lake…” It had only hit her at that moment that they’d practically done the same thing as each other, only she’d been so much luckier that Hero arrived to save them. “But, why would you sleep all the time if you hated them?”

         “It’s not that… I hated them…” He was definitely at a loss for words, he hadn’t mentioned his dreams to anyone before, how they were all just an escapist fantasy. It almost seemed offensive, to bring up, especially to her, that he was so desperate to shelter from his guilt, the feelings he deserved, the only thoughts that would justify him as a person and not a demon. “I think… I just relied on them too much… is all.”

         It was strange for her to piece together what all of that meant, but her conclusion made sense, after all, this was Sunny. The idea to her that he may have had fantasies and dreams that would allow him to escape his problems made perfect sense, after all, that was how he described books, no, all of his interests practically. He didn’t know why he like them, so he simply called them each “an escape from reality”.

         She came to the conclusion she should probably try to bring this conversation back to level ground, she wasn’t looking to be intimate after all, just enough for the plan to work. On that thought, she’d have to get back home soon before her mother ended up making some snarky comment about where she’s been.

         She’d just have to end it here in that case. Maybe they could finish this tomorrow.

         “I-I guess I shouldn’t really be asking about them now, I think it’s getting late anyways, you know how my mom gets.” She attempted to save that conversation for later. Her main fear for this plan was that she’d run out of things to talk about. Unless you got lucky, which it seemed she did tonight, you’d be talking to a rock the entire time. It’d be nice if she was able to use that to carry a more important conversation later, as Kim had explained. This fake dating stuff was downright stupid, but it’s too late to back out now.

         “Oh… ok.”

         “G’night. I’ll talk to you soon, kay?”

         He nodded back to her, ending their conversation, something of much contemplation for the both of them that night as they each struggled to get some sleep. She realized she forgot to ask him about the eyepatch as well, another thing she added to her list of notes for their conversations before eventually going to sleep. Hopefully she’d at least have a break from all this tomorrow, it felt stressful that she could feel herself getting slightly closer to the boy that took everything from her. Her resentment didn’t even seem to be there anymore… it was… unnerving, the effect it had on her. Was he even the one being tricked at this point?

         Walking to the bus stop that next morning she was greeted by a cheery Kim, excited to be clued in on how things were going between them. Thankfully Sunny and Basil were driven by car to school every morning, in fear of being bullied, so they were never an issue.

         “Yo Aubrey! How’d it go?” She enthusiastically unwrapped a lollipop and shoved it into her drooling mouth to quench the sugar-craving urge constantly boiling inside of her like an irritated monster.

         “Fine I guess, he doesn’t hate me or anything.”

         “Of course he doesn’t!” She grumbled, disappointed in Aubrey lack of an ability to understand what fit so perfectly in her own head, “That isn’t the point. Dude’s been following you around like a dog trying to apologize. But does he like you?”

         “I dunno, you said I didn’t have to get to that yet.”

         Kim stared her down with slight disgust as she continued going savage on her lollipop, candy tinted drool leaking from the crevasse of her mouth like it was wide open. “Are you that dense with this stuff?”

         Was she? Of course, standing out as a delinquent with vibrant pink hair and being at school, she’d been hit on a few times here and there, even catcalled, though mainly when getting her mother’s disgusting poisons of choice. But at the same time, reading Sunny was sometimes impossible, others it’s obvious, or well, it used to be. Since he came back he’s always been entirely blank, empty even. Sometimes you can understand a basic idea of what he’s thinking, but Mari went on sometimes about how she never truly knew what he felt because he didn’t open up about it.

         Kim decided to try her advice in a different manner this time hoping Aubrey might understand what she was getting at. “Look, kid’s an absolute NEET right? Isn’t it always obvious with those types? And does it even matter? His type prays every night to get a girlfriend, so as long as you push a little bit, he’ll confess. Or you could do it.”

         “Absolutely not.”

         “Then just get close to him and let him fall into the trap.”

         “Kim, I hate you for this.”

         “You’ll thank me later.”

         Their strange conversation was cut short by the loser in question pacing his way over to the bus stop, already stumbling and panting around even with such little exercise. This time he did indeed don his white medical eyepatch as usual, though he was accustomed with a slightly loftier posture than his usual, even if he was still locked in a never ending staring contest with the pavement.

         “What the heck?” Aubrey muttered below her breath so that Kim could barely hear her. Her friend, who had now finished the lollipop and tossed the stick into the grass behind them gave her a slight nudge with her elbow as well as a failed attempt at a smirk, perhaps only so because of how used to the omnipotent one Mari used to bear she had become that it was inferior in every way.

         He approached her and stood a good distance away, shyly hiding his face from her as usual.

         “What’s so interesting about the floor?” The pinkette decided to chime in as Kim moved behind her to watch as things unfurled. She’d have to teach Aubrey how to make things go as she envisioned somehow. Her arms were crossed in her typical mean girl demeanor, tapping her finger against her sleeve as she waited for him to take notice of them.

         “Oh-I’m…sorry-umm.” He stammered as if he’d been caught committing a crime and jumped back defensively, causing the clumsy dark haired teen to slip on the edge of the concrete and plummet onto the grass, shocking even Kim. His bag, laden with various school supplies and… a letter, which seemed suspiciously out of place, along with a sketchbook which thankfully stayed closed shut, all spilled out alongside him.

         “Sunny!” She called out before catching herself again, unsure whether showing care would be useful now, or if she should abandon it as always. Just like last night, the words came more naturally to her than any others.

         Kim nudged her yet again and pointed to the letter which fell out of his bag, addressed to no one it seemed, but filled with something that caused it to protrude more than one containing just some kind of a note.

         What kind of a hint is that, he just fell?

         She bolted over to try and help him up. Unsure of whether or not she had guessed properly what Kim had been insinuating since while the idea of it being a love letter would be an interesting guess, whatever was causing it to bulge out so much didn’t seem right. It would have made more sense to be a gift of sorts, perhaps filled with money based in its shape. Payment to a tutor then?

         She noticed how he shot his hands over to quickly conceal the sketchbook, stuffing it under his curled up body and keeping it pressed firmly against his chest as he tried to pick himself up, breathing heavily as he did so.

         “Sunny you’re winded, just stay down for now alright. I’ll umm, grab your stuff for you.”

         Aubrey watched her devious friend as Kim stared them down while she sat him up so that she could stuff everything that had fallen back into his bag, thankful that they were getting along already. She only noticed the wrench in her master plan however just then, the emotionally stale boy did seem to watch what she had been doing with some interest, but bore no obvious blushing reaction to it as she had theorized. Hopefully he wasn’t against them dating or anything, otherwise the whole operation was a failure. No, he had to be interested in her, maybe he’s just terrible at showing it?

         The last item was the sketchbook, which Sunny held onto tightly despite Aubrey’s pleading to take it from him so she could put it away and zip up his bag, which eventually halted as he stood up faster than she’d like to in order to do it himself.

         Seeing as they were somehow getting nowhere despite how her glorious vision had gone for this “scene” in particular, Kim figured she’d try salvaging this unexpected situation a little bit at least and nudge them into a conversation. Such a perfect opportunity wasted wouldn’t fair well with her glorious mind at all.

         “So what are you doing here exactly? Don’t you always drive with Basil?”

         Sunny seemed nervous to admit that reason, furthering her idea that it was a love letter and he was completely head over heels for Aubrey despite that endlessly meaningless stare in his bulbous eyes.

         For Sunny, he felt it far too embarrassing that he was hoping to rekindle his friendship with Aubrey around Kim, who shouldn’t have any knowledge whatsoever about their talk on the swings last night. The best he could do in this situation was hold silent and act like it was something else unless Aubrey would speak up to save him.

         “I apologized to him last night for, how I’ve been treating him lately.” She turned to the raven haired boy whose expression seemed a little less dreary now that he’d been saved from an otherwise awful situation as he imagined it, “Was there something else you wanted to say?”

         Now was his chance to recover from the situation Kim’s presence had placed him under. “I-umm…”

         I hate you. Stop stuttering. Look at her expression, do you really think she cares? Idiot. Monster…

         “I wanted to see if you still… wanted to talk, since you said your mother wanted you to be back before we got to say much.”

         The screeching hiss of a colossal banana colored bus abruptly coming to a halt interrupted Aubrey’s response with its flamboyant din. Sunny leapt back again as usual, this time thankfully not tripping all over again.

         “Hey, why don’t you two sit next to each other then?” Kim suddenly added before racing inside the moment the doors flung themselves open, leaving the two of them struggling to not let a blush escape from that comment.

         The moment Aubrey realized that she seemed to get nervous at such a thought she knew something was immediately wrong with her. She couldn’t fall asleep until very late last night as she contemplated her experiences with Sunny years ago, comparing them to the version of him that she had just interacted with.

         His corrupting influence had spread all over her like a paintbrush creeping its way up to her head where she kept her most precious thoughts, leaving an obvious trail, some of which couldn’t be hidden to the public eye. A trail of faint black, the color she often saw him in and used to represent him, left covering her so blatantly. In one night alone she held no such animosity as she often pushed herself too. Was she just growing tired of it all?

         Staring down the nervous raven haired boy, she knew that wasn’t the answer.

         They didn’t exchange words at all, simply hopped on and found the only available seat, which happened to be right across from Kim, and also conveniently bore enough room for the two of them. Sunny chose to sit next to the window as he usually does, that and he didn’t want to be in between both Aubrey and Kim.

         For the both of them however, sitting in such close proximity to each other, made worse by them trying to remain as sturdy as possible; fighting the violent leaning of the bus attempting to throw them any closer to each other, was surprisingly nerve racking. Like the world would shout at them both if they had gotten any closer together. Kim simply watched with disappointment as the two went the entire ride not saying a word to each other at all, not to mention keeping their hands to themselves. If both of them are resisting then her ingenious plan would fail miserably…

         There was one option for the mischievous candy lover.

         On the last sharp turn before the bus came to a halt to drop everyone off, she gently shoved Aubrey right into Sunny’s side along with the force of the bus squirming around, causing them both to nearly jump out of their own bodies when they met. Finally, something had been going as she hoped.

         Aubrey squealed as she crashed into him, causing Sunny to stutter uncontrollably as usual, entangled with pink locks of hair flinging themselves in front of his vision and over his head like graceful ribbons blowing in the wind. Faces of their classmates all peeked over to admire the sight before them, the unbreakable delinquent having seemingly leaned onto the most introverted and anxious person in the entire school.

         Her face became overcome with a bright red glow which she did her best to morph into a deadly stare commanding everyone to back off.

         She’d have to get used to this if they were supposed to be dating wouldn’t she?

         Thought it was brief, the rest of that ride to school was occupied by an apprehensive awkwardness due to what had transpired, even if it didn’t even last a second. The rest of the bus continued to glance at them as well, even sparking a slight amount of gossip that the two may have gotten together despite how awful she’d previously been to him. Such chatter swarming them caused Aubrey to bolt out the moment the vehicle had stopped, before the doors even opened, resulting in the driver yelling monotonously at her to slow down and thankfully nothing more.

         Needless to say, even though they hid from each other the entire time, the rest of that day was humiliating to say the least.

         Sunny slipped the envelope through the crevasses of a locker, waiting for the loud thump when it hit the shelf. As soon as he heard it he bolted in the opposite direction as fast as he could to avoid being spotted. 

         His eyepatch was thrown atop his bed, he didn’t need it in the dark. Flipping through his sketchbook that night in the consoling darkness of his room, his most personal possession, he checked to confirm all of the pages were intact, that none were missing at all. It was an odd superstition, but he could feel it nagging at him, if even one of these pages were out there he’d never feel safe leaving the house again.

         Thought it was a sketchbook, it started out as… well… a suicide note of sorts. Pages were addressed to his mother, and his old friends, back when he had only recently moved out. When he didn’t end up going through with it as planned, it slowly shifted to more of a diary. It was his way of feeling like he was making some form of progress, writing his thoughts in there to the best he could, he eventually found it repetitive, slowly changing pace from once a day, to once a week, to whenever he felt like it.

         The pages were littered with scattered thoughts, anxieties that he probably shouldn’t have been thinking, but he did anyways. The kind of stuff people would lecture you for hours over out of worry if they found it. The result being an unproductive waste of time, their words being so immeasurably far from the truth. Thoughts like how he should die, how it should have been her, he can’t do anything but hide from his thoughts, what if Mari was still alive when they hung her. He eventually added a few drawings in there, ranging from attempts to improve on his awful artistic skills by making poses of fantasy characters poorly traced onto the paper, to the surprisingly better drawn recollections of nightmares he had.

         This was why he chose to look through it in the dark, since making out the words would be difficult, it wouldn’t bring back thoughts he didn’t want to feel right now, or just embarrassing things written in there.

         Writing his thoughts like this didn’t feel like it helped very much, even if he understood himself slightly more, it didn’t tell him what to do about it. There was no solution to his problems. All he could do was acknowledge and ignore them in hopes of not tearing himself apart that day. Maybe he’d do it tomorrow. He just existed through life, like a corpse being dragged by its foot tied abhorrently to the back of a car by tattered rope more accurately. He was moving, unwillingly thanks to time’s constant progression, but it wasn’t anything productive. In fact, it only scraped and bruised him even more.

         Thankfully all of the pages were still there, intact with slight amounts out dirt and pebbles stuffed between the cracks of the pages. Maybe it isn’t the wisest idea to bring it to school with him anymore.

         Drearily he checked the clock on his nightstand, reading 6:34.

         Dinner would be soon, after that he’d run off to work at Othermart, covering a co-worker’s shift as usual. His jobs were an easy distraction from his thoughts, and they helped him build some kind of an allowance.

         Thankfully it was just stocking shelves, he wouldn’t need to talk to anyone tonight, though being in public was awful enough.

         Routinely turning on the dim lamp before heading over to his closet to grab his uniform, he paused. It felt as if something was watching him, more than usual. Not just the judgement and pressure always hovering over and behind him, not the eyes of something, nor his unending guilt. Something else was there today. It was probably just his imagination.

         He swallowed the lump in his throat before fearfully sliding open the closet door, peeking around its dark corners, checking the eerie spaces between his hanging shirts, the creepy dolls Basil’s family kept locked away in there.

         Knock knock

         Sunny leapt back, almost tripping over again embarrassingly enough. It wasn’t coming from his door.

         Where is it?

         He shrieked upon seeing a figure with bright pink hair observing him through the window, staring him down with her teal eyes, wearing a puffy black winter jacket. She looked unamused to say the least.

         How long…  

         She motioned him to open up the window, him clumsily tripping his way over to her to do so. She naturally climbed in like she was used to doing that before waving her hand, still unamused.

         “Hey dork.”

         “How long... have you…”

         “I just got here.”

         She peeked past his shoulder to see the sketchbook lying open on the floor with a set of colored pencils strewn next to it, before turning her gaze to his reluctant face. The eyepatch was off this time too, his eye looked… okay. It wasn’t much different from the other besides how the fraction of light emitting from the dim lamp exposed a thin line which traveled down the center, continued on in the faint scar just around his eyelid, not extending too far or too deep.

         “What’cha up to?”

         Sunny hadn’t realized yet that she could see part of the sketchbook, backing away slowly towards it. His cowering only served to worry her further, although to be fair, she did just suddenly appear in his window staring at him.

         Maybe it was a little weird, but it had become routine for her and Kim at this point.

         “I was just… getting ready… for work?”

         “Oh. Alright then.”

         “Was there something you wanted to talk about?”

         “Not really.”

         “Then why…”

         She wasn’t sure herself, some part of her wanted to see him for some reason, the same urge that caused her to keep thinking about him while he was gone over winter break feeling both satisfied, and hungrier for more. It didn’t matter much to her what she did, she just wanted to stay away from home as long as possible. That and she knew completely that her mother didn’t leave any food left in the fridge.

         “Just thought I’d show up…”

         She trotted her way over to the object of interest, the sketchbook that Kim hadn’t stopped bothering her about since she locked eyes on it this morning. Surely it wasn’t anything weird inside.

         Actually, to get a peek at it, it was weird, but creepy weird. She caught a glimpse of almost lovecraftian depictions of strange dark figures, some even bearing resemblance to her old friends it seemed, as well as the treehouse from when they grew up, shaded in streaks of black and blood red as if it were pulled from a nightmare. She doubted her connections to the past were correct, otherwise he had a cynical way of viewing them for sure. In fact, everything would have had to become so distorted in his mind for them to even remotely be those things, and with such an impeccable memory as he always had, that would be impossible.

         That didn’t last long as Sunny scurried to snatch it from the ground and run to the other side of the room, shoving it aggressively in a dresser drawer, tattering one or two pages as he did so before slamming it shut.

         Maybe she shouldn’t have peeked.

         “Sunny! Basil! Dinner!”

         His head flicked back between the door and Aubrey, who he was still in shock at the thought of being in his room, especially so randomly.

         “Coming!” Basil shouted, before throwing his own door open and bursting into the hallway, “Sunny, did you hear?”

         Sunny stumbled his words for a moment, “Y-Yeah. I’ll be there in a sec.”

         He was still pinned, by his own self, against the wall, growing even more anxious at the thought of what might happen if someone opened his door and found Aubrey standing in there for no reason in particular.

         He forgot to lock it.

         That came to his demise in full force as Polly pushed it open and peered inside, “Hey Sunny, you said you have work at... oh hello there? I didn’t see you come in. Are you a friend of Sunny’s?”

         It was up to Aubrey to clear up the situation, it was the least she could do after all. She nonchalantly pointed her thumb towards the still open window, “I just dropped in to say hi is all.”

         Polly stared in utter disbelief for a moment before returning to her usual cheery attitude. “Well in that case, would you like to join us for dinner?”

         While she didn’t exactly want to barge in on someone else’s dinner like this, she didn’t feel like not eating tonight, or scrounging for scraps around the house if she could.

         It only now flustered her a little what she’d been doing, perhaps hospitality just had that effect on her.

         “Umm… Sure. If it’s okay with you and all.”

         “Oh think nothing of it! I always make just a little too much.”

         At this point Sunny had been slowly tip toeing his way over to his bed where his eyepatch was, hoping that no one had actually noticed him. His footsteps made no sound, cushioned by his socks and the carpet below.

         “You cool with that Sunny?”

         He shrieked at how quickly he’d been noticed before reluctantly nodding back, picking the eyepatch up from the bed where it rested and turning off his lamp.

         “Oh that’s right. Come with me for a sec, Sunny has work tonight so he needs to get changed first.”

         They left the startled boy alone in his room as he contemplated what had just transpired before him.

         After turning the hallway corner, Aubrey was met face to face with Basil, who dropped the set of forks in his hand as he was setting the table, his face overcome with anxiousness, throwing Polly into a panic of her own.

         Maybe she shouldn’t have stayed here considering how unwelcome her actions caused her to be.

         “A-Aubrey?”

         Mention of the name allowed Polly to make the connection, having heard of her bullying Sunny from Basil several times by now. She did her best not to make any harsh judgements, they didn’t seem to be fighting when she saw them, although, Sunny did appear afraid of her.

         “Oh umm…” The pinkette muttered, searching for the right words to resolve this situation, the pressure yet again resting solely on her shoulders. Most conversations to her felt as if she was solving a puzzle, none of it came as easily as it once did, “We’re cool now. I apologized to him. I guess it’s late but… sorry to umm… to you as well.”

         While she felt closer to forgiving Sunny’s actions somehow, Basil was still irredeemable. She hadn’t pinned her hatred on him like she did with Sunny, who was the one who ultimately killed her after all, but Basil did choose to willingly hang her and lie about it all.

         Their friendship had been through a lot over the years, but she felt closer to him since the night she tried to apologize along with the others, only less than ay year ago. She really couldn’t hold a grudge anymore could she?

         She found herself becoming soft lately, way too soft. She desperately searched for reasons to get upset at them but nothing appeared for some reason. Hopefully this whole fake prom thing would work out and give her the revenge she so desperately needed. Maybe then she’d feel better about all this and despise them like she was supposed to.

         “Oh that’s… that’s great to hear!”

         Basil had gotten better at faking a smile lately, perhaps largely due to his medication. If Aubrey truly did forgive them though, that would be a good thing indeed, maybe things could finally go back to the way they were. Especially for Sunny. He knew how much she mattered to him in the end, and that he wouldn’t go to such lengths for anyone else, probably not even his own best friend.

         Polly decided it was her time to chime in at last, seeing as things were apparently better between them all. “That’s great! I didn’t remember you for a bit there Aubrey, you’ve changed so much since I saw you.”

         “Really?”

         “Definitely. Your expression is a lot different. Anyways, dinner is ready so come sit! Sunny will join is in just a moment.”

         The table went silent until Sunny came over to them, wearing his blue Othermart uniform and black hat, along with the eyepatch that had previously been off. He took the seat next to Aubrey, with Basil and Polly sitting in their usual spots on the other side of the table. For how little he usually ate, Polly and Basil, Aubrey for that matter as well, noticed him take an unusually large serving for some reason.

         Perhaps it wasn’t a great topic to bring up around Basil, but she figured she should ask eventually.

         “How’s your eye Sunny? I noticed you didn’t have that on earlier.”

         Both Polly and Sunny spoke at the same time.

         “He just needs it-”

         “I usually wear it-”

         They paused to briefly glance at each other before Polly let him continue, perhaps she was used to talking about this kind of stuff for them, seeing as it wasn’t an easy topic. Basil shuddered a bit in his seat at the mention of the eye.

         “I usually wear it in places with lots of light.” He reached his hand under the strap and pulled it just above his eye for a moment, showing in the well-lit room the remnants of the scar she had previously noticed, as well as the line drawn cleanly through the center of his pupil. “It’s very sensitive… so it starts to hurt and gets strained very easily.”

         After a brief pause Polly decided to continue the topic, clearly the only talkative one here. “He does eye therapy for it. He said it was still a little blurry but otherwise he can see fine.”

         “What about the mark through the middle? Are you sure that’s okay?”

         They were surprised to hear Sunny respond again, not to mention so quickly, even if he didn’t seem all that confident. “There’s just a line there sometimes. I really only notice it when I think about it.” He pondered for a more visual explanation before finishing his thought, “It’s as if a hair was always in front of your eye I suppose.”

         “Is it difficult when you have to wear the eyepatch at school and such?”

         “It’s fine. I’m used to it.”

         “Okay then…”

         Something about his answer was unsettling, just how many awful things was he “used to”? Maybe it wasn’t as bad as she imagined it to be, she’d had trouble reading from afar but it doesn’t bother her.

         Why am I even getting worried about this?

         Sunny had only eaten about half of what was on his plate before he got up from the table, scraping his leftovers into a plastic container. He stood at the counter for a brief moment, staring at it before shaking his hand and pushing it to the side.

         “I should get going too. Thanks for having me.”

         “Sure! You’re always welcome here.”

         Upon hearing her words, Sunny seemed to reconsider and took the container of food along with him. They all stared in silence as he monotonously put his shoes on and tapped his foot against the ground as if he were checking something.

         Aubrey followed him through the door, trying to seem at least somewhat gleeful so they’d see that she was thankful for their hospitality, which she very much was. She hadn’t had such good food in a long time, she’d definitely be returning when she got the chance. Perhaps Kim’s plan had some perks after all…

         “Thanks for letting me stay there. My mom ate the last of whatever was in the fridge so I probably wouldn’t have eaten anything tonight anyways.”

         She bounced a little as they walked, staring into Sunny’s typically blank face; he seemed at least a little lighter today. He hands were trapped confiding in the warmth of her pockets as she breathed in the frosty air, puffing out of her mouth like smoke.

         Suddenly, and shockingly for the both of them, Sunny spoke up.

         “Here. I noticed umm… you didn’t have lunch today.”

         He thrusted the plastic container towards her hand, looking away almost bashfully, easy for him only having one eye to deal with at the moment. She was stunned, stuttering, shaking until she took the container from his hand.

         That was why he took such a big serving wasn’t it?

         Did he plan that from the start?

         Was she… crying?

         “I-” Sunny recoiled realizing this, he hadn’t considered that it might make her upset, maybe it felt like an insult to her? He couldn’t do anything right. “Sorry…”

         The girl threw herself into him, embracing him tightly in a hug that she decided wasn’t worth resisting. She clutched him snugly against her, the box of food even tighter. She’d forgotten this. It reminded her of something else too. Another memory she put behind in favor of her anger.

         However long ago that was, on the day of his birthday. She felt awful about not bringing him a gift. Her parents had been arguing almost all week, and she hadn’t eaten since two days before, aside from a granola bar she had stashed in her drawer that she must have gotten from some school activity.

         When he found out she’d been starving, he went around grabbing all the food he could find, especially since Hero had made too much, in addition to what his family had prepared. That food lasted her an entire week. She probably would have starved if not for it.

         “Thank you… Sunny.”

         Her voice was muffled by his shirt. He returned the hug slightly, coyly draping his arms over her back, barely touching, but it seemed like the right thing to do.

         Their embrace warmed the both of them up like a blanket wrapped around them, sharing their comfort and warmth. Why didn’t things feel like this with anyone else? Why did she feel so comfortable hugging him?

         Eventually she pulled back, staring at the wet spot her tears had marked upon his fancy blue collar shirt. Flustered, she began looking for an excuse to end their conversation here, she’d gotten emotional again. Maybe she should bring this problem up with Kim…

         “I-I umm… I think I may have left your window open. I’ll go back and-”

         Her attempt to dash off was interrupted as she turned around, not making it a foot away before he interrupted. 

         “I closed it earlier, its fine.”

         “Oh, alright then.”

         An awkward yet comforting silence filled the wintry air around them like a heater, their presence to each other fighting off the bitter cold that surrounded them. She didn’t want to leave for some reason. For some stupid reason, she found herself comfortable here. Every pain that ached her was almost going away, some ready to be spilled out of her mouth for the first time ever.

         She had to stop herself.

         She wasn’t supposed to give in. She wouldn’t give in, not to him of all people.

         “I should umm… go now. Be safe.”

         Be safe?

         Really Aubrey?

         “You too.”

         “Alright I will. See you tomorrow then?”

         “Sure…”            

         You really need to get a hold of yourself Aubrey.

            Things have been a lot different lately. Aubrey apologized to me about two weeks ago, and we’ve talked at least once every day since then. I don’t deserve it. These emotions are all so stupid. I’ve written it in here before, but I like her. It’s more than just that. I’m so selfish. I ruin every emotion I could possibly have. Part of me wants to ask her out, people at school have been talking about prom. Someone even came up to me and asked me if I had already asked her to go with me. Do people really think that of us?

         I don’t think I should. It’s for the best. Sometimes I have to suppress my own interests so I don’t ruin things for other people.

         My love for her is selfish and completely irrational. I just want to feel special to someone I suppose. I guess it’s like, if I had never existed, I wish that person’s life would be miserable. That’s not how to put it. Maybe, if that person never met me, they’d never have found happiness otherwise? Maybe it’s because she’s just that to me. Around her, I feel so much different, even though we’ve interacted so little recently. It was the same back then. I wanted to mean everything to a person. To her. Because I was so lifeless without her sometimes. Is this how it feels for everyone else?

         I still don’t feel like I got it right, as always I’m awful at writing down my emotions. I want to be someone special to her that only I could be, but I’m not special at all. No, I’ve only made things so much worse for everyone. If I was never born she’d be happier. That’s part of why she’d never like me back. I hate this. Some days I want to feel my emotions, other days I wish I never had any. I should just die. I shouldn’t feel this way. All I do is ruin things for everyone else.

         I’ll probably just remain friends with her. That seems best if I don’t want to mess everything up. All I can imagine when I ask is getting rejected in the worst ways possible, the thought of it keeps hurting but I can’t stop thinking about it. She asked me to come to the swings tomorrow night, alone. I want to tell her there. I promised myself I would, but is it too late to back out?

         I don’t even know what’s supposed to happen if she says yes, how does love even work?

         All of my feelings are so awful. I see her getting close to other people and it makes me want to jump out of my skin sometimes, even if I know they’re just friends. When she brings up Basil, it makes me almost dislike him. They’ve been friends longer than I’ve known her. She doesn’t see him that way, so why do I get so upset when his name comes up? He doesn’t like her at all either, I know that.

         I hate you.

         Things would be so much better if I never existed.

         He ended his little writing session by scribbling a drawing that came to mind, nothing particularly special. Using his set of colored pencils he drew him holding hands with Aubrey, him depicted as Omori, surrounded in charcoal black tendrils. Eyes glowing red, with crimson falling down from his wrists to his hands. That’s how he liked to see himself, somehow he found more comfort in it than his own reflection in the mirror.

         He promised to forgive himself, why was he getting nowhere? Why was being happy this hard?

         His imminent doom of asking her out was inevitably arriving quicker than he could bear, he’d even gotten worried to the point where he carefully picked out a set of flowers to give her. First was the gladiolus, one of the most beautiful flowers he’d ever seen, not that he showed a particular interest in them. Perhaps because Basil so often compared it to her it seemed to sparkle radiantly just like she did.

Second, a Blue Salvia, meaning “I think of you”. Being that it was his own choice, he had no confidence in it. In fact, it looked even worse to him because of it. It looked visually appealing with its lively color, but he was often disappointed in himself to find a lack of actual interest in anything. The world never came in through his eyes in anything more than black and white most days.

         What did it look like through hers?

         When they were young, she was always so cheery, she still was, even if she did her best to hide it from everyone else. So much of her was still there, it was reminiscent of a watermelon, her favorite food back then. A hard shell on the outside with a repugnant taste, but on the inside it was soft and sweet, bursting with color.

         The third flower was a pink carnation, symbolizing the phrase, “I’ll never forget you”. His selection was somewhat limited, but he managed to make things work when it came to their messages. Unfortunately, he couldn’t see them as very much, but hopefully she would. Maybe she’d show him the world through her eyes again. Maybe then he’d feel better.

         Why was it always about him?

         Was he always this selfish?

         The unrelenting timer to his looming demise pressed on regardless, and being a Saturday he’d be busy with work. Something about it felt so unsettling, that he couldn’t spend every waking and sleeping moment preparing for him to ask her out, even if it would change nothing in the end. He couldn’t waste his chance. His feelings corrupted him, hurting him and tearing him apart. His jealousy of the other people she was close to a hot knife rapidly scraping his chest. His feelings would tear their friendship apart so quickly after it had been rekindled. He wanted to ask her to prom so dearly, and yet, his reason behind it showed his true twisted nature.

         There wasn’t anyone he could talk to about this either. Especially the innermost reasons behind his affection. Would Basil work? He knew about his crush back then after all. Maybe it’d be fine not to say anything too deep, just ask for advice. Then again, he’d never escape the consequences of doing so, and if things backfired like they felt destined too, he didn’t want to have to listen to his sorry words.

         A day working at Fix-It wouldn’t be all that terrible in the end. He’d get to look through their selection of flowers in case there was a better option, and as much as he loathed being unable to lie around all day contemplating his decision, a break was needed at this point.  

         That night he asked Basil to watch TV with him, turning on some random show he heard was popular about… people making drugs? Something like that. They rarely spent time together like this, but Basil seemed to enjoy it. It was a tense point in time for Sunny however, considering that this was an important mission, and a setup of sorts. The show would buy him time to get settled in and build up some confidence before confessing that he needed advice, and when he did so it would lessen the pressure on him slightly if it was interesting like people claimed being that it would absorb some of his attention.

         Thirty minutes passed like this, the episode was almost over and Basil could tell something was up. There was likely no way out of this. Basil was a good friend though, he kept his crush secret all those years back, and they were on good terms even now. Maybe it wouldn’t be so awful?

         Twiddling his thumbs under his blanket, he attempted to ask the titular question of the night.

         “Hey Basil… can you help me out with something?”

         “Oh sure, one sec!”

         Basil did perhaps the worst thing possible in that moment and paused the TV, eliminating Sunny’s expertly set up distraction. There was no longer a barrier between the two of them, just a pure conversation between friends.

         It’s too late now.

         “What is it then?”

         “I-I umm… I have a crush on someone… and I was wondering… how I should go about asking them to prom.”

         The blonde flower boy’s eyes sparkled like diamonds in an instant, reminding Sunny of the one unfortunate experience where he claimed to be the “love doctor” and attempted to get him together with Aubrey years ago, which made one of the most awkward moments in his entire life. Worst of all, it had absolutely no effect on her.

         “What’s her name?”

         “Do I have to say?”

         “Well…” He traced his finger around the edges of his face, “if you want my help then yes. The most important thing is to understand what she’s like right? Sooo, how can I help you if I don’t know her?”

         “What if you’ve never seen her before?”

         Maybe he could leverage this in his favor if he claimed she was from another school. Explaining Aubrey’s personality and their situation would be a massive hint nonetheless, but people don’t usually pick up on stuff like that, not even Basil. Lying is surprisingly easy sometimes when you realize people rarely care as much as you think they do.

         “What’s she like then? How long have you known her?”

         “Just a little while… she’s…” It’s harder than he could have imagined to conjure up a fake personality on the spot, “She’s into cute things I guess, but she doesn’t like to show it.”

         “Anything else?”

         He gulped, unsure of how many questions Basil would press as the boy’s intrigue only seemed to climb even higher. Would admitting it was Aubrey make things easier? He’d find out in the end no matter what.

         “Umm… she acts tough but really cares for everyone around her. We know each other but I’m not sure if we’re exactly friends yet, and I don’t know what she thinks of me either.”

         “When were you thinking of telling her?”

         “Tomorrow.”

         Basil gasped loud enough to wake the entire neighborhood, “What! Sunny that’s so soon!”

         Sunny nodded back at him, now looking for an excuse to leave the conversation before he was discovered. Talking about his feelings was always a disastrous experience, often leading nowhere but he still did it from time to time.

         “I mean I’ve known her for a while so it isn’t too quick but… I guess I should have told you sooner. Sorry.”

         “Well… maybe you could try giving her some flowers? She likes cute things you said right?”

         Somehow Basil was only reiterating things he’d already done so far.

         “I picked some out already.”

         “What kind?”

         “Blue Salvia, Pink Carnation, and Gladiolus.”

         This was by far the most obvious hint he’d given as to the girl’s true identity, his heart stopped when Basil started thinking out loud, connecting the dots of the obviously picked colors made to match her appearance.

         “Hmm, Blue Salvia. Pink… Gladiolus… Sunny, do you still have a crush on…”

         Aubrey was a difficult topic for Basil, as much as they tried to make up the two still kept barriers of assumptions between them. In fact, with how suddenly she appeared, Basil suspected some kind of trick going on from the start, nothing made sense otherwise. He often told Sunny that the Aubrey they knew was long gone, but they probably deserved that for what they did. Somehow it came as a relief to be punished for what they did, even by their own friend.

         Sunny reluctantly nodded, aware that things would get nowhere if he didn’t, or jeopardize his friendship with Basil.

         “I-I wouldn’t have guessed. So you still like her huh? Well, there are always other fish in the sea as the always say. You should make sure you’re prepared for if she says no. I’m sure she’ll still remain friends with you though! No hard feelings!”

         Somehow Basil’s change of demeanor served to infuriate Sunny to an extent, of course not to a point where he would show anything, in fact his anger was rarely pointed at anyone other than himself. But all that, for this kind of a response? He didn’t love anyone the same as her. What’s the point of searching for other fish if he found the one he likes? He can’t like any other kinds thanks to her. Maybe he was being stupid, new to love and all that, but he couldn’t do anything else about it frankly.

         “That doesn’t help me at all then.”

         “Oh umm… Well it’s not that I think she doesn’t like you but… well… I’m still suspicious of her Sunny, she suddenly started being nice to you and all. Are you sure she isn’t taking advantage of you? You’ve been friends for a long time too, are you sure you want to risk your friendship with her like that?”

         A tense aroma of silence stirred around the room, Sunny finding himself at a loss for words due to how betrayed he felt, from his best friend no less. The one he got jealous over when Aubrey mentioned him. He found his allegiance entirely for her in this conversation, why was he like this? Why couldn’t he be normal? Why did his emotions ruin everything all the time?

         It would have made sense to agree with Basil, he was the one just looking out for his friend, but the emotions that had recently made their way to the forefront of his mind would never unfortunately.

         “Okay then. I’m sorry for saying that. I-I guess… be yourself maybe? If she doesn’t like you for who you are then you shouldn’t go any further right?”

         This isn’t helping.

         The hands of a familiar monochrome boy clasped themselves around his eyes from behind, a translucent veil of white blurring the lines between reality and his fantasy. His mind wasn’t willing to partake in this conversation anymore. He wanted to be gone. He just wanted to go to his room again.

         “I’ll umm… give you some alone time to think about it. Sorry for umm… bringing you down. Just don’t get too upset if it doesn’t work out okay? I’m always here for you if you need it.”

         Basil anxiously shot up from the couch and raced over to the bathroom, a subtle admittance that he regretted his actions perhaps. The noises emanating from the TV, floating around Sunny’s head morphed into music he’d heard in his dreams so many times before, fighting like a siren’s song to pull him back into the confines of his mind.

         Pushing himself off the couch and shutting off the TV with a lasting feeling of disappointment and failure, he returned to his room to attempt to sleep it all off, his most prevalent method of passing time when he wasn’t feeling unarresting insomnia. Even then, he could tell he wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight.

         “Goodnight everyone. Goodnight Basil, sorry for bringing that up. Goodnight Kel. Goodnight mom. Goodnight Hero. Goodnight Polly. Goodnight… Aubrey. Goodnight Sunny.”

         …

         Welcome to White Space

         Maybe he’d let himself dream tonight, not that he had much of a choice in the end. He was just a small, meaningless voice inside of the maelstrom of his head. A victim to nightmares when they felt like appearing, and occasionally rewarded with good dreams which seemed to end too soon.

         “Sunny!” A vibrant girl in a teal dress called out, locks of long dark brown air bouncing along with her with thin strands of pink hidden among them like needles in a haystack. “It’s so good to see you again! Come on, there’s something I wanted to show you!”

         She grabbed his hand and they were off together on their own little adventure, just the two of them this time. It wasn’t every night he dreamt like this. Was it just because of tomorrow?

         After another ruthless pep talk from Kim it was time for Aubrey to do the part she’d been dreading the most, but for all the wrong reasons somehow. Another set of thoughts she shouldn’t focus herself with. She’d get her revenge soon, in fact she was ecstatic that she was able to delay the confession an extra week.

         She watched him shuffle over to the swing set, apparently seeming more anxious than he’d ever been before. His eyepatch was off again, and for some reason he was carrying a bright green store bag along with him. Did something happen? Or did he plan to…

         Whatever, let’s just get this over with.

         She partially wished she could have stayed for dinner with them all again, delighted with how delectable even the reheated leftovers she’d been gifted by him had tasted, how energized she felt after a home cooked meal. She’d certainly miss that when all of this was over, but it wasn’t a huge concern, after all she was closing in on her seventeenth birthday, and a year after that she’d never have to see her house again. A dream that often felt like it would never arrive had been shifting into focus.

         She’d finally move into a place with a working stove and heater hopefully, the money she’d been saving up was starting to look promising, assuming her mother didn’t take any of it, although it was nowhere near that point. Working part time doesn’t really build much of an allowance unfortunately for her.

         Regardless, she had to remain optimistic. If not to look forward to moving out of that dreadful house one day, what other hope did she have for her future?

         Routinely, he took his seat on the swing, still shouldering that strange complexion this time around as if the thought of her terrified him to no end. He was wearing full black as he often did, casual looking sweatpants paired with a hoodie that didn’t seem to fit him quite right. His hair was combed surprisingly enough, even if some of it had already returned to its natural disheveled state. Setting the bag aside him, opposite side from her, he shoved his hands deep into his pockets and kicked his swing off with a sudden jolt.

         “Anything interesting going on?”

         “Not really…”

         Was there a reason he was hiding his face so bashfully? Why was he so afraid of her?

         No, it definitely had to be... Maybe she should just let this play out rather than rip her infamous pride to shreds as planned.

         “You sure, you seem kind of down? Anything you wanted to ask me?”

         He paused, words fighting to leave his mouth but being ultimately declined by his stone face, saying nothing in return for a while until an excuse had become apparent to him.

         “I think I just feel a little more open… here on the swings… is all?”

         “What do you mean by that?”

         “I-I don’t know… I guess I don’t have to fake a smile here all the time.”

         Fake a smile? You haven’t smiled at all since you got back from winter break.

         “I get it too. Back then I told you a lot on these swings huh? I remember ranting for hours about my parents and such, most of it was about schoolwork at the time. I’m honestly still surprised you listened through all that.”

         “Oh… sorry.”

         “What are you sorry for?”

         “Umm… nothing.”

         “Kay’ then.”

         Another long silence, though not uncomfortable for her at least, filled the bitter air of the winter night. She shivered, rubbing her hands up and down the sleeves of her white and yellow sailor jacket, realizing she picked a horrible night to go out. She didn’t have a winter coat of her own, only borrowing her mom’s whenever she could.

         Of course Sunny had taken notice to this before she had noticed his seat was suddenly empty. In front of her she watched as he reached out his fluffy black hoodie which he had already removed, revealing the grey sweater underneath that would keep him at least somewhat warm without it.

         She inspected the hoodie for a moment, fascinated with how unfathomably soft to the touch it was, like trudging her hand through a pile of warm snow. Of course, she shook her head back, unwilling to accept that they were that close somehow; that she’d willingly wear his jacket to keep warm, another part of her worried for how he’d stay warm as well.

         He wouldn’t budge from his stance however, even going so far as to place it on her lap and walk away like he feared it being returned to him. Another gesture that made her heart thaw, her chest fluttering and growing warm enough to melt the snow around her.

         These tender feelings, these bursts of emotion she noticed herself feeling around him, they were inconvenient to say the least, unwelcome in her heart. Yet, despite all that, she found it all so incredibly beautiful. It was after all.

         Eventually she compromised, removing her own jacket and tossing it at him, which he fumbled around with at first, contemplating whether to just hold it or put it on. Of course, he found himself beginning to freeze up now, but that didn’t seem to matter much, it wasn’t cold enough to hurt him. It would go away eventually.

         “It’s for you to wear you know.”

         After Relenting to her endless stare and sliding his arms through the wide sleeves he felt a little relieved that he wasn’t so chilly anymore, not to mention infatuated by the fact that he was now wearing her own jacket, feeling as if she’d wrapped a gentle hug around him from behind. It disappointed him to see her flip the hood up to cover her ears after she put on his own, realizing he’d no longer see her ostentatious pink hair nor her full face.

         “Thanks. You sure you’re not gonna be cold?”

         “It’s fine…”

         “You say that a lot Sunny, but you just admitted earlier that you’re usually sad and just faking a smile. If you were fine then you wouldn’t be saying that all the time.”

         “Sorry.”

         “Stop apologizing as well. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

         She watched him as he lowered his head in response to that, averting his eyes as he usually did, but with a much more noticeable from than usual.

         Of course he did something wrong, you aren’t forgetting about what he did to Mari are you?

         Who’s going to defend her if you let yourself forgive him?

         But is that even what she wants?

         She attempted to subdue her thoughts for the moment. “So, anything going on lately?”

         “Not really.”

         How is he this hopeless?

         “What about prom, that’s coming up soon. You going?”

         “I’m not sure. Parties aren’t really my thing.”

         Basil’s words had set in fully by now, his mind repeating them over and over like a mantra. Of course there was no way this would work out, she’d never even shown any signs of liking him back. The only this is ever was had always been a one-sided crush and nothing more. An obsessive one at that.

         “You sure? You could use the opportunity to get out more. I heard it was gonna be pretty big this year too.”

         “I might go I guess. With everyone else. Do you… want to join us as well?”

         His face morphed into sheer embarrassment from just asking that alone, even though it was the exact opposite of romantic. He desperately wished to just take it all back, to take back coming here, even if the cozy feeling of being wrapped in her jacket would never have happened.

         “Sure, although I’ll probably bring the rest of my friends along, so I guess I’d technically just be going with them.”

         Just like that, Sunny had officially ruined his chance, they were now going just as friends as there was nothing he could do about it. It felt comforting to give up, and yet he was left to suffer and contemplate how much he could have been missing out on if she said yes.

         If she said yes of course.

         “Unless…” She started, a playful, coy smile washing over her face as she seemed to attempt to resist it.

         What?

         “You wanna go with me?”

         What does that mean?

         Adrenaline rushed throughout his body at the mention of the sentence combined with what he had suddenly realized to be some form of a flirtatious look, akin to the one Mari used to adorn whenever she teased Hero. He must have been getting the wrong idea right? Surely there was no way…

         “What do mean by that?”

         Aubrey let out the most frustrated sigh he may have ever heard from her as she glanced at him, still hidden behind the black hood of the hoodie he had given her, still entranced by the thought of her wearing it.

         “Do I really have to spell it out for you?”

         At this point, even for someone as apparently dense as him, there wasn’t much denying it left that he could do, especially if he was hoping to avoid coming off as the biggest dork in the entire school. It was unfortunately, significantly more difficult for him to find a plausible response to such a comment, seeing as he had no experience with actual romance. Denying it was simply the only conceivable response for him, not that he liked it.

         “Wait so… do you mean that…”

         At least he could try to confirm it first.

         “Yes, I like you. Dork.”

         Is it a good thing that she’s calling me that?

         “Oh-I-umm-I like… you too.”

         The hope of forming a normal, coherent sentence was long gone at this point as he was met with the most genuinely flustered feeling to ever stretch itself across his face. He could feel his ears heating up, becoming a shade of glowing neon red; wondering if any of this was actually real.

         “So does that make us a couple now?”

         Sunny hesitantly nodded back, words escaping him entirely in this situation. He felt his shoes brush against the reusable green bag that he’d brought along with him.

         “Oh I have something for you actually. I umm… I was going to ask you that today but… I was really scared too… so I brought you flowers. They’re for you…”

         Could you speak any more abnormally?

         “I hope you like them…”

         Pulling out a trio of tall flowers from the bag he presented them to her anxiously. She was familiar with gladiolus, a flower Basil compared to her a long time ago. It looked like a spire of cheery pink petals, the stem completely buried under them like a blanket.

         The other two were ones she’d never seen before, an azure one, similar in appearance to the gladiolus but sporting thinner, sharper petals all around it, with green leaves towards the bottom like a peeled banana. The last was a vibrant pink similar to the gladiolus, but more like a rose in appearance, several of the flowers blooming from a smooth emerald stem.

         “I-”

         Somehow, Sunny always found a way to be charming like this, even if it wasn’t actually a romantic gesture. Although this was perhaps the first case in which it truly was. The childish methods he often used to delight his friends were always so caring, doing things others would have dismissed easily. Did generous gifts like these just come naturally to him? The food he gave her that night two weeks ago and the times many years before? The purple eggplant plushie which she adored to death as a kid?

         He never brought these things up later or demanded anything in return, in fact he was surprisingly humble to it, sometimes just saying that the object in question didn’t matter to him so it would have been a waste. Even in that case, most people would have kept it to themselves, even her, especially when they were young and covetous.

         It almost felt like an entirely different person hid beneath the miserable surface of his bleak expression, someone dancing through a field of imagination and love, characters he made up or read about alike, parading in the distance. His own world, something no one else would ever see but him. The world must look so much different, so incredibly vibrant through those seemingly bleak eyes of his.

         She forgot in that moment why she hated him, he wasn’t the boy who killed Mari and lied about it. He wasn’t the mess who spent four years isolated in his house, or whose eye was cut right down the center. No, it was just him. Just Sunny again. Even if he was troubled all the time, part of his old self would always be there it seemed.

         “Thank you…”

         “It’s fine…”

         “I wish I could have brought you something as well, now I’m feeling spoiled.”

         “No it’s fine. I just thought they’d be nice.”

         “What do they mean?”

         “What?”

         “You know the whole language of flowers thing?”

         He cursed himself for not realizing what her question meant, especially after putting so much thought into them based upon those exact phrases, unable to tell whether or not they were beautiful through the meaningless lenses of his eyes.

         “You remember the Gladiolus right?” She nodded back as expected, “The other two are called Blue Salvia and Pink Carnation. The Blue Salvia means…”

         The realization of what he was about to say being so incredibly sappy finally struck him, he somehow expected his confidence to be immeasurably higher when he had planned these gifts. Looking to Aubrey for support, he was struck with a welcoming smile and a face awaiting his answer with intrigue. He almost forgot the most unbelievable part of this whole night; that they had just agreed to the idea being a couple somehow. Did that mean this was okay?

         “It means… I think of you.”

         He gauged her anticipating reaction, finding it hard to contend with her staring straight at him when she previously obscured her face behind the hood in the moments prior, still curious to hear what he had to say. Unbelievably curious.

         It felt like his words mattered for the first time in a while.

         “The Pink Carnation means I’ll never forget you. I just thought it was nice.”

         Truthfully, that meaning stuck out to him in particular, representing his dreams. She’d probably never understand that part of what it meant, the gesture of always remembering her would be enough to distract her from the truth of it all; his obsession with her in particular in those years that he convinced himself that she felt the same feelings he did back then, only that she’d express them, begging to go on dates with just the two of them sometimes in his dreams.

         This was only aided by the bright pink color, obviously reminiscent to her hair like the gladiolus had been. As much as Basil hoped for him to, he’d never move on from her. In this case, not forgetting her was the act of placing her at the forefront of her mind constantly, again, an obsession with wanting to think of someone. Wanted them to think of you that same way.

         At the same time, there was some purity behind the thought. She truly did mean a lot to him, and that would never change.

         She visibly blushed, averting her face towards the street so she could cower behind the black hood.

         “That’s really… sweet.” Escaping her mouth was an amused chuckle that seemed to lighten the embarrassment in his mood a good deal. “Thank you.”

         She paused briefly before the realization struck her.

         “You do realize I don’t have anywhere to put them, right?”

         “Oh sorry. I should have-”

         “Shut it, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

         “But you said…”

         “Forget that. I guess I could try to grab a mug from the kitchen. All I have to do is put regular water in it right?”

         “That should be fine… how are things? At home… with your mother and all.”

         She’d forgotten what it felt like for someone to ask that, not even Kim knew about her awful life at home, now only her old friends after they snuck in that one time were aware of it. When he first found out, Sunny used to give checkups every now and then, venting about how sorry he was that he couldn’t do anything, even going so far as to cry over it.

         He never understood how much he did for her back then did he? Even so little as talking about it would have made her day, but he didn’t even stop there.

Sure, she’d still been living in that place, but he cared about her more than her parents did at the time. As often as he could offering for her to stay the night at their place, even giving up his bed and sleeping on the couch. Officially, these were all sleepovers with Mari, but they didn’t start as that at all. In fact, he once spilled to her that he want to turn the treehouse into her new home, complete with everything she’d ever need.

         It was childish and pure as can be, but that’s what made Sunny, well, Sunny.

         “She’s been the same as usual I guess, still drinking and all that. The other night she tried throwing her bottle at me, heh.” She rolled up her pant leg to unveil a cut spanning what at first looked to be the entire width of her shin. “It wasn’t bad or anything, hurt like crazy at first but it got better. It should heal soon I think.”

         She didn’t realize Sunny having already shot out of his seat, laying the flowers down safely upon it before walking over to inspect it as if the cut had happened just then. He kept a distance from her for some reason, knowing him he was probably just afraid to get close to her. He used to be like that anyways.

         “Do you mind if I get the first aid kit?”

         “Wha- no it’s fine, I covered it up and the bleeding stopped, nothing got in there or anything.”

         His eyes darted around the wound, eventually jumping back the sight of something. Hastily he sprinted all the way down the street, hardly even stopping to look for cars. It looked like his face was pressed into his hands as he ran away,

         “Dork…”

         She got up and grabbed the set of carefully picked flowers, petting them with her fingers, especially the fluffiness of the pink carnation. The smell reminded her of springtime, like standing in a glimmering field of green, lined with a rainbow of florae encircling it.

         She really was falling apart all of the sudden, the vicious pink demon of faraway being tainted by such frivolous gestures and gifts, along with the fact that she had to insinuate the idea of a prom date no less. From the second Kim blurted out her plan there was no backing out, but the idea that she’d end up only becoming more and more like this if she didn’t go along as planned haunted her in somewhat of a comforting way.

         Suddenly showing yourself publicly as part of a couple with someone else was the most humiliating thing Aubrey had even done, but after Kim’s stunt on the bus and the fact that they’d officially be going to prom together, this was unavoidable. They’d been eating lunch together like this for a week now, sometimes they spoke more than others, but enjoying each other’s presence was more than enough.

         At this rate, Aubrey even daydreamt about sticking up for her new boyfriend in the face of a crowd like this, the perfect opportunity to impress him. Unfortunately she never got that chance due to Sunny’s prestigious reputation that he somehow achieved, completely against his own will. Occasionally it would cause people to congratulate them and act like old friends with him.

         A few people had even gotten used to her, effectively burning her delinquent status into the ground faster than she could repair it. Sunny was, despite appearances and the fact that half of the students hadn’t ever heard him so much as mutter a word from his mouth, a popular kid within both the town and their school. Almost everyone knew him for how selfless he constantly was, lending more hands than he even had among other things such as his eyepatch and rumors about what he’d been though over the past four years that he’s been gone.

         For some reason, she wanted that generosity to all be hers, that he’d stop paying so much attention to everyone else; even if it brought a smile seeing how much people adored him for such behavior.

         He’d even been asked out to prom by someone else, a short girl with charcoal black hair and glasses who seemed to be somewhat of an art freak. Never before had Aubrey felt so suddenly defensive. She was really under some sort of spell wasn’t she?

         It didn’t help that he prepared and brought her lunch every day at school either. She’d miss this too when she publicly humiliated him at prom. That day felt like an inevitability, but one so far away from the blissful nature of life in the current moment, even if she wasn’t comfortable submitting to it just yet.

         The lunches he shared with her were more elaborate and fancier than most of the others that people brought along with them. Sunny told her that he didn’t care much about food at all before, but it felt nicer making it for someone else.

         That smooth little…

         At the same time, she was exasperated with how much he loathed himself for how he didn’t start bringing her food sooner, despite knowing she didn’t always bring a lunch with her. Hailing himself as an awful friend for not doing anything. Even if his compassion was unmatched by the entire school he couldn’t find it in him to say anything nice about himself it seemed.

         Despite his endless stream of self-depreciation, she reveled in her time with him, in fact she looked forward to it the most out of any part of the school day.

         “I have to go to the bathroom real quick.” He told her, getting up from the table and reaching into his backpack, shuffling his hand around like he was searching for a light switch in a pitch-black room. Eventually he stopped and reeled something out, something with a border of white that he did his best to conceal behind his twiggy thin legs and body.

         Is that another letter?

         “Alright, I’ll wait here then.”

         That was a lie. Something inside of her needed to know who this letter was going to. She couldn’t tell whether or not it was stuffed in the same manner as the previous one she’d seen in his backpack along with Kim, but that didn’t exactly matter to her.

         As soon as he made his way through the doorway, checking both ways conspicuously as he did so, she followed suit. She wasn’t particularly stealthy, but she solved that by staying on his blind side where he wore his eyepatch during the day.

         Stalking him with rising intrigue, she stared from behind a corner as he stopped in front of a locker, not particularly decorated, certainly not that art freak from before. He slipped the letter through the vents and waited for the sound of it crashing against the metal before walking back over towards where she stood.

         Recalling Kim’s advice to be more “assertive”, along with the rom-coms that she forced her to binge, obviously not mattering at all to the health of her plan like the candy craver claimed, rather a poorly disguised excuse; she contemplated her options before settling on one in particular, which at the time she saw it she couldn’t help but imagine recreating it with her timorous boyfriend, expecting a reaction beyond what movies could depict.

         As he approached, about to turn the corner, she stepped out, expectantly waiting for the surprise to cover his face which it most certainly did. He must have been contemplating how much she knew of his little game to get away from her for some reason, and she was planning to use this vein of embarrassment to the fullest and attempt to tease him, something she always wanted to try, though not exactly on him in particular. Instead it was an urge that stemmed from having seen Mari do it so many times before with Hero. But he’d do just fine as a target.

         “Oh hey, glad to catch you. What were you doing Sunny? The bathroom’s the other way ya know?”

         Already he’d fallen into her trap, sealed off with a smug smile.

         “I just… had to drop something off for a friend…”

         Despite how naturally he fibbed, his genuine shock and stammering gave it away that he couldn’t have been telling the truth, otherwise there’d be nothing to get so disconcerted over.

         “Oh really? Then why’d you lie to me Sun?”

         The use of a nickname pushed him back even further as she threateningly marched towards him, brandishing Mari’s signature grin. His back hit the locker before he realized it.

         Suddenly she thrust her right arm beside him, ceasing his attempt to flee and effectively pinning him against the locker, exactly how it had been done in the movies. As anticipated, his petrified reaction was more priceless than anything else, making it quite obvious why Mari so often resorted to teasing others. It was almost like bullying but so much more enjoyable, and minus the feelings of guilt that tended to follow for her.

         “That was an interesting letter you brought with you. You had one a few weeks ago as well. Are you seeing anyone Sun?”

         She wasn’t the best at coming up with the perfect line to say, but it didn’t seem to matter when it came to drawing out the flushed expression on his otherwise stoic face. He seemed to come to a realization of sorts with that sentence.

         “No it isn’t that I just-”

         “Then who is it?”

         “You didn’t let me finish!” She flung her other arm to cover the other side as he tried to escape his fluster-filled containment. She wouldn’t let her fun end that quickly after all.

         “So then? Finish your sentence Sunny…”

         “It was… payment. For someone.”

         “And why should I believe you?” She did believe him at this point, but she still couldn’t bear ending this so soon. She’d have to find a way to do this again somehow consider just how much she enjoyed it. “You’re not seeing someone else are you? You shouldn’t lie to me you know.”

         She inched herself slightly closer to him as she teased hoping to further the pressure he must have been feeling.

         “I’m not… he was just going through a hard time and I wanted to help him out. It’s nothing like that I promise.”

         “Huh?”

         Well now she just felt guilty, even though she didn’t expect him to cheat on her in the first place. Still, messing with him after finding out about such generosity didn’t sit right with her.

         “Fine then.”

         She retracted her arms and let him free, though he didn’t dash off as expected, only retreating a short distance so they were a few feet away. Even after spending a week as a couple, he had problems getting close to her no matter how hard she tried.

         Something did come to her, realizing people don’t just go around begging others like him for money most of the time. She’d done the same herself after all, though she gave it up quickly.

         “You aren’t bullied by him right?”

         “A little…”

         “What?”

         “He was a little aggressive with me at first but he seemed to be going through something so I gave him the money. He told me it helped him a bunch so I bring more every week.”

         “That doesn’t…”

         That still didn’t sound right did it?

         Sunny was perceptive though, he should be able to notice if he’s being used like that. She often resorted to anger and bullying as a coping mechanism herself, it wasn’t all that farfetched. Still, it was concerning for his own sake that he’d give in so easily.

         “Sorry about that… then. I guess I was a little too quick to judge. I didn’t really think you’d cheat on me or anything like that, just so you know.”

         “It’s fine.”

         Reluctantly she agreed to give him this one, they should head back to the cafeteria and finish lunch anyways. “You better not be lying though.” She huffed as she crossed her arms in defeat.

         Despite how aggressive she’d just been, something about being so close, not to mention stopping him from being able to fearfully back away for once felt nice.

         She reached her hand out as they strolled down the light blue hallways adorned with rows of metal lockers, intercepting his own and grasping it tightly before he could back away.

         For a second he stopped to process what had happened, but he went along with it as if it were surprisingly natural for him. She’d settle with this for now, their hands grasping each other’s just like those sappy movies she’d been forced to watch.

         Neither of them were used to any sort of physical affection, in fact if was often uncomfortable for them both yet in this moment, something about it felt so graceful, so right.

         Aubrey coyly giggled to herself, feeling she’d gained something special today after all.

         I’m not exactly sure why I’m writing today. There’s a good deal on my mind, mainly with Aubrey. I went to give Peyton his money again today and she followed me. After that she pinned me against a wall and asked me questions about if I was seeing anyone. I was scared at first that she’d get upset if I told her that I was giving someone money like that. It isn’t that bad with how many jobs I work, I don’t really have a concept of money either, so it doesn’t matter to me like it does to everyone else. After clearing it up she held my hand on the way back.

         I wish I wasn’t so nervous with her sometimes. I’m just scared I’ll mess everything up. Being this close with someone already feels like it’s bringing back memories of Mari. I thought things would be better now that the holidays were over but I can’t get away from my thoughts like this. I’m so worried. I’m worried I’ll end up hurting her, or I’ll do something awful and I can’t stand it. Why does being in love hurt so much? Everything has gone so well too. It’s alarming how well things have been going in fact.

         I’m scared to keep going like this. Part of me wants to stop seeing her because it hurts so much to think of how things will go wrong. Am I selfish for that? She told me that I wasn’t a problem but I’m still thinking I am. All I want to do is get away from all of this pain because I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m not sure if I can manage to tell her this too. Usually when I talk to someone, my thoughts go away. I downplay how bad things are naturally, things don’t feel like they should at all.

         It goes back to what I wrote a while ago about disassociation. Even after everything I can’t escape it, but I also know I have a reason for doing it. It would be awful if I felt like this all the time. My heart feels like it’s imploding on itself right now. I’m not sure how much more I can take.

         If this keeps up I’m not sure what I’ll do to myself.

         I should wrap up soon. Kel asked me to hang out today.

         Along with his note, on the next page he scribbled a drawing of Omori, once again sketching the first thing which came to mind. A vile depiction of a knife plunged into his chest, with his heart already severed from his body and lying on the endless white ground, bleeding a lake of vibrant pink.

         He wasn’t sure if it meant much, it just came to mind like the rest of his drawings.

         “Quite the haul this time huh?” Kim took delight in the satisfying feeling of pockets stuffed to the brim with candy of various kinds, even her favorite taffies. A new cashier at the convenience store meant entirely new beginnings for their heists, someone who was entirely unaware of their ventures to shoplift every now and then.

         Despite them all being present, none of the others seemed to match Kim and Vance’s shared delight in nagging from this store in particular, having only snatched, or if you were the dummy in this case, payed for, a drink or just a bag of chips each. Nonetheless, no one wished to be left out, not even Charlie in these cases, so they all made sure to at least grab something. Aubrey in particular, a grape soda, something which she recalled Sunny being particularly fond of.

         “You know that eyepatch kid at school?” A voice beckoned from the distance, directing her to a group of five male teenagers sitting on the bed of a truck. They all wore classy jackets, almost looking like a band of sorts.

         “There’s no way you got all that from him?”

         “It was a piece of cake! I didn’t even have to push him at all he just gave it to me like it was nothing!”

         With that all hopes that she had went down the drain. As desperately as she wanted to believe otherwise, Sunny was being tricked. Not just that, but he gave in to giving him some large sum it seemed without any resistance at all. Somehow the blame fell more on Sunny for this one and his perhaps overly gullible nature.

         She clenched her fist, as desperately as she wanted to stand up for him and teach that punk a lesson, she wasn’t sure if she should cause a scene in front of her friends like this. Kim seemed to take notice of her staring at them as well, although it didn’t appear she paid much attention to what they had been previously saying.

         “Yeah I’m coming.” Aubrey hesitantly strode ahead towards the rest of the group to catch up with them. She’d just have to tell Sunny some other time then. She’d bash that punk’s face in later.

         Following the instructions Basil had retrained him on just before, Sunny tied and weaved the set of arranged flowers he’d brought with him today in an attempt to make a flower crown for Aubrey, despite the fact that it was snowing outside at the moment.

         Basil grew a large variety of flowers indoors, even during the winter thankfully. He’d often help tend to them as well, becoming more interested in seeing Aubrey’s vibrant reactions to them, bringing more color into his own world with each one.

         Thankfully this time she had her winter coat, her mom didn’t need it today so it was all hers. He still ended up bringing her a pair fluffy earmuffs since she didn’t have any of her own that fit her. He didn’t feel like he needed anything of the sort at first, but he came to regret that decision quite fast even though he wouldn’t admit it.

         They decided to meet up at the lake this time. It was completely frozen along the top like a giant glass window.

         Even while he writhed to weave together the flower crown, he couldn’t avert his focus from Aubrey, her innocent smile and pink hair waving right back at him. Sometimes he found himself more thankful than he could ever imagine being to have her in his life. Even when his thoughts were so unpleasant when he was alone, this all felt so worth it, an oasis in an endless desert.

         When he had finally finished his creation, of pink and light blue as his main choices when he grabbed the flowers before leaving, she bowed over as he placed it on her head. It reminded him of a nymph of sorts, just like fairy tales. She was a fairy tale. He never imagined actually getting to be with her like this, even when he was younger.

         Did he deserve it?

         Aubrey took notice of his sudden downcast expression but refrained from saying anything, aware of how deep in thought he must have been. She did pause for a minute, confused on why he wasn’t pulling out another set of flowers for himself.

         “Aren’t we going to make you one? I think I know how after watching you do it.”

         “Oh I didn’t bring any for me. Sorry.”

         “Why not? Don’t you want one as well?”

         “I…”

         Did he?

         He had contemplated it briefly before leaving the house, but he didn’t want to back then. He even checked the mirror to picture it better and despised the idea. Was it just because she said it now that it seemed like a possibility? What was the difference between when they were together and when they weren’t?

         “Here.”

         She delicately removed the floral helm from her head as strands of pink hair latched onto it as if they didn’t want to let go. He backed away for a moment before leaning back in, accepting his fate. He wanted to keep seeing her with it, how elegant she looked. It would be a waste on him.

         “There, how’s that?”

         “Does it suit me?”

         He tilted his head as she giggled, unsure of whether she was blushing or it was the cold making her cheeks turn red. Why was it so adorable to hear her laugh like that? Why did it send all of his worries away? Was this what it meant to be in love with someone else?

         It made him upset for a moment, that she probably wouldn’t feel the same as he did in that way. That selfish, egotistical desire to be loved more than anything settling in. To be the world to her like she was to him.

         Why couldn’t he just have happy thoughts?

         “You look so cute with it on! I wish I had Basil’s camera right now.”

         What?

         Cute?

         He wasn’t accustomed to the sound of such a word, let alone its definition applied to him. Suddenly he felt his chest grow fuzzier inside like a warm cup of tea, relaxing and soothing. He couldn’t see himself at all the same way, but did that matter if she saw him like that?

         Did any of his thoughts matter compared to the way she saw him?

         “You think I look… cute?”

         Aubrey quickly averted her gaze, conjecturing if she really did just say that. She wasn’t lying if she did, his confused expression only furthered that in the end. It somehow made him so much more adorable that he never seemed to realize. Sometimes it was a little concerning how impossible it was for him to say something good about himself, but it wasn’t all bad. He usually didn’t fight back when she told him nice things like how thoughtful he was, or how imaginative and interesting his thoughts were.

         “Yeah… you do.” She refocused herself back on him, she didn’t need to act like she wasn’t a blushing mess after all, and it was just the two of them. “You should try to be more confident in yourself y’know?”

         “Is it a problem… that I can’t see nice things?”

         “About yourself?”

         “Sometimes, but everything else seems bland a lot of the time too. I don’t really get excited much anymore, I don’t even know if I can remember what it feels like.”

         “Liar. I see you excited all the time you dork.”

         “Maybe that’s just because I’m around you, somehow things feel different. But, when I focus on the way I see things, it goes away.”

         How can someone be so depressing and smooth at the same time?

         It was an odd thought to ponder for sure. Everyone repeated again around him and again how creative his mind truly was, how silly it must be to be inside of his head and listen to his thoughts, but that didn’t seem true anymore. He was still just as creative, but to think that things were blissful inside of there was definitely false to her understanding.

         “I’m glad you’re being open with me about this. I don’t really know what to say. I get it, when things seem pointless and all that. At the same time, my thoughts probably don’t hold a candle to how much you must be hurting sometimes.

         I think… even if your head beats you up all the time, you’ll still have me. I can’t always be there for you, but I’ll try whenever I can.”

         She slid her way over to his side, peeling off her own mitten, along with his and locking their fingers together. It startled the seemingly monotonous boy for a moment as it always did, but he quickly gave in to accepting it. She pushed his head down onto her shoulder as well, a sign of comfort when she couldn’t think of words that would ease his pain.

         “Thank… you.”

         She watched his face as a tear slid down, sniffling his nose as well, although he often did that whenever it was cold regardless of whether or not he was crying.

         “Don’t be afraid to let it all out okay? It takes time to process, but you shouldn’t forget that your emotions are important, even when you don’t want to feel them. Whatever you have to say… I listen. Just like how you’d always listen to me.”

         “Can we change the subject?”

         “If that will make you more comfortable, then sure. But, don’t be afraid to bring this up again later alright?”

         “Thank you.”

         He hid his face, burying it deeper into the plump shoulder of her mother’s winter jacket. She played with his fingers in response, rubbing against them like a magic lamp. They were soft and gentle, unlike her mother’s hands they felt so caring.

         “Anytime. Actually, I hope it’s not difficult for you to hear right now, but I’m gonna have to ask you to stop giving money to that kid.”

         He didn’t respond but she could tell he was listening as always. She felt the gentle urge to lean her own head on top of his, eventually agreeing, feeling the soft pillow of combed black hair resting under her check.

         “He’s lying to you from what I heard. If anyone does that to you again, don’t be afraid to ask me to deal with them okay?”

         Sunny remained still as usual except for a feeble nod of his head.

         “Does it bother you at all that he’s doing that?”

         “It’s fine.”

         “Sunny it really isn’t. You’re being taken advantage of.”

         “I’m sorry.”

         “Don’t ‘I’m sorry’ me. You don’t have to apologize, I’m just a little scared for you is all. It doesn’t bother you that he’s using you like that... In fact from what I heard you didn’t even try to defend yourself.”

         Silence again, perhaps he was done for the day. Checking his face, it seemed he had begun to fall asleep just like that. So peaceful. He hardly even made a sound, only squeezing her hand tighter sometimes whenever he’d flinch. Was it a nightmare? She’d likely never know.

         “Hey, wake up sleepyhead. You’re still outside you know.”

         He released the tiniest groan before opening his eyes promptly, perhaps he hadn’t actually fallen asleep, but he was certainly on the verge of it. Was he always this tired? It was difficult to tell with the eyepatch, but there was a visible bag under his left eye upon closer inspection.

         “You’ve been working yourself too hard as well haven’t you?”

         He nodded, sitting up from her shoulder much to her disappointment, rubbing his eye before plopping his face into the palms of his immaculate hands.

         “I’ll walk you home then. C’mon sleepyhead.”

         “Do you want to go out with me?”

         “Huh?”

         “To umm… dinner. I wanted to thank you. For… everything. It’s also… what couples do right? Sorry if you don’t want to, I was just wondering.”

         “Of course, just pick a time and place and I’ll be there.”

         She brushed the snow off her pants before reaching out her hand to help pull him up, shocked by how light he was. After brushing himself off as well they slowly made their way out of the icy hangout spot, somewhere they knew they’d be visiting again. If she could spend all day here she would without a doubt.

         “Dinner huh?”

         Kim’s face was laden with shock as Aubrey appeared at her front door with mention of a date, half expecting the two to have broken up already with how dreadfully unromantic she’d seen them.

         “Yeah, he wanted to go to this fancy steak place.”

         “Holy shit that’s a haul. Way to score a free meal.”

         Something about that almost infuriated Aubrey, especially after what happened with the kid he’d been giving money to for who knows how long. The last thing she planned to do was take advantage of him, in fact she intended to pay for her share unlike the custom of most couples.

         Heck, she’d pay for his too if she wasn’t tight on spending money.

         “Do you have a dress or something I could borrow? I’m not exactly sure what I should wear…”

         “Sure, let’s see what I have.”

         They made their way up to the room which she shared with her older brother, sliding open her closet covered in stickers of candy brands. The pinkette was flabbergasted to find such an array of clothing, from Kim of all people as well, who she’d never seen in a dress or anything girlish for that matter. Only really wearing dark colored hoodies and jeans.

         Fashion was always something Aubrey wished she could enjoy more of but never got managed to due to the situation with her parents. When her father was around she had a bit wider of an array of clothing, but still nothing special. Most, if not all of it came from thrift stores, but she didn’t mind it.

         “I just can’t believe he fell that hard for you this fast. You’ll have your revenge in no time.” Kim ranted, rummaging through her surprisingly extensive wardrobe of mostly dark blue.

         “Oh yeah, about that. I’m not gonna say it anymore.”

“Something happen?”

         She perked up, too flustered to admit she completely fallen for him despite the plan. She’d find out eventually anyways, so there wasn’t much of a need to tell her now. She could feel her face blooming red, thank goodness Kim wasn’t looking right now.

         “No!”

         Kim just grumbled back in her typical manner, “Alright then.”

         She pulled out a long black sleeveless dress which stretched down to her knees. The kind with straps around the arms, or whatever they were called, along with two straps over her shoulders, not covering the entirety of them.

         “How about this one?”

         “Wouldn’t I get cold?”

         “That’s why you wear a jacket with it. You have one?”

         “Oh umm yeah! Come to think of it it’ll go perfectly with this.”

         She lied. She had no clue how fashion worked for that matter outside of what didn’t look revolting by itself. Nor did she own any kind of a fancy jacket like Kim seemed to be mentioning. She did have some, maybe she could find something that might work. Either that or she’d have to wrap herself up in Sunny’s hoodie again, not that she minded.

         “Sounds great. Need anything else?”

         “Nope that’s all. Thanks a ton.”

         “Anything for my best friend. I take it I’ll take care of thing on your end then?”

         “Sure.”

         Aubrey didn’t have a clue what Kim seemed to be talking about, whether or not it was something to do with the dress, or perhaps finding her a ride there. She figured Sunny already had things planned out on that part though.

         They exchanged a brief fist bump before Aubrey left, holding her fancy new dress by the hanger. She’d find something to go with it by tonight.

         Sunny envisioned himself trudging towards the edge of the roof to a hospital, the same one he was put in after his fight with Basil. The drop below felt infinite, the building so colossal that it stood towering above the clouds. Even the clouds looked miniscule from up there. Grey skies loomed around, completely devoid of sunlight, almost like the background of a movie shot.

         One foot in front of the other he approached a section of the balcony without a railing, leading into the infinite white abyss below.

         It’s a long way down.

         “What are you doing here Sunny?”

         Almost with an air of confidence and maniacal laughter he turned around like he’d expect her to show up. Letting out a smile he envisioned to her, as poised as the villain in a movie unveiling their master plan and how their evil was so properly justified.

         “That doesn’t matter to you, you’ll forget about me soon enough, you all will.”

         “What do you mean? What are you doing?”

         Her responses were almost as monotonous as his own, perhaps he couldn’t find it in himself to think of the right thing for her to say. Even some of the lines in his dreams had often gone through rigorous changes before they weren’t such terrible examples of dialogue; no longer merely setups for his more important phrases like they were in his newer daydreams where he couldn’t find the strength to contemplate it all too much.

         “I’m saying goodbye, I’m sorry for all of the trouble I’ve caused, but you’ll all move on. Trust me on that one.”

         “Sunny please don’t, we all care about you, we’d miss you, and I’d miss you.”

         He could feel himself chuckling as he pushed away his growing sense of remorse, returning to the thoughts of jumping off and leaving the world behind.

         “I’m sorry to hear that. But please don’t think of me much, it’ll only make things worse. All I’ve ever done was make things worse for you guys.”

         “Sunny that isn’t true!”

         “Name one thing I’ve done to help you then? One thing that I would be needed for over anyone else?”

         His daydream ended there, finding it difficult to think of much else for how it might go, if he’d end up jumping off the cliff of Aubrey would save him or whatever. It was all some stupid fantasy anyways, something that he knew would never happen.

         He didn’t feel correct when responding to something others were saying most of the time, or answering questions in class no matter how thoroughly he had studied through the books. But, he didn’t feel the slightest bit mistaken that he should die like that. That he didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. That he wasn’t important at all, even Aubrey’s affection and care for him could have been given just the same to anyone else and it would change nothing.

         Like when a flower grows and wraps itself around a fence, an old decaying, dirty fence. The flower likely didn’t need the fence at all, if not for it the blossom never would have grown the habit to cling to it. It might be able to stand strong on its own in fact. But since it decided to grip to that fence, it relies on something that was never intended for it.

         That was, in a sense, how he saw his relationships with others. He was the fence they didn’t need, a crutch that they all said it would be so awful to remove from their lives. Because of him, they might not stand on his own if he was gone. That was his only reason for living. Because they’d grown a reliance on him that they shouldn’t have. It didn’t matter at all to him if he died, but the people around him wanted him alive.

         An agonizing contradiction to live through sometimes.

         Yet, they were all strong people. He identified that they’d recover in the event that he took his life. It both made him glad to know that, that there was hope for them in the world without him which he so desperately dreamed of coming true, but at the same time disheartened to know they’d all eventually continue on without him.

         Every thought like this tied to Mari in some way. They were all so much worse off without her. That was for sure. He’d ruined their chances at a happy life alongside her. If they were flowers, then she was practically their source of water.

         It should have been him to die that day.

         Hero forgave Sunny, but only out of maturity from what he could tell. And no matter what, it would be wrong of Hero to forgive him. He deserved to be detested by him the most out of everyone. Because he killed Mari, Hero would never love again, he’d never enjoy cooking the same, never feel alive. They were everything to each other.

         He shouldn’t be forgiven for ruining his life like that.

         A knocking at the door interrupted his thoughts, that same person whose life he destroyed was here for him for some reason.

         Picking himself off the couch he headed over to the door, taking his time to open it. He wasn’t comfortable with seeing Hero. He couldn’t face him after what he did, especially now that he was with Aubrey. He could imagine how he’d feel to lose her like that, even when it was merely a crush he knew what Hero must have felt.

         But despite his trepidation when it came to having to see Hero again, he couldn’t shake the anticipation for his date with Aubrey, even if there was a pool of anxiety gathering around that thought as well.

         As he slowly reeled the handle back towards him he was greeting by a welcoming smile.

         “Hey Sunny! Good to see you again!”

         He noticed Kel standing behind his enormous brother, sporting his signature smile. Hero extended out his gigantic hand, another thing he had in common with his sibling.

         Sunny accepted the gesture of a handshake but before he could process it was pulled into a tight tug. He could feel himself pressed against Hero’s robust chest, the chin of his head placing itself on his hair for just a moment before releasing Sunny and allowing him to back off.

         Sunny noticed he didn’t flinch as much this time like he normally would with physical gestures like that, perhaps due to how much he’d gotten used to being uncomfortably close with Aubrey recently.

         He was growing accustomed to it, even when it was with other people it didn’t feel so awkward or difficult to understand why.

         Kel jumped in, clearly displeased to not be included thus far. “Sorry we’re late, mom made Hero do the dishes for the entire week again.”

         “Yeah you’re right. I guess we should get going soon then. You have everything Sunny?”

         Sunny nodded back, checking his pockets to confirm that it was true. All he really had with him was his wallet and cell phone. It reminded him how much he wanted to get one for Aubrey. It might work out in the end if she was added to the family plan he shared with Polly and Basil. Thoughts of late nights texting and chatting with each other danced around his head. Venting his frustrations with his insomnia and her listening with all the care in the world that she only seemed to show him for some reason.

         He locked the door shut, being the only one in the house at the time, and followed them down the sidewalk, sliding the key under a heavy flower pot outside.

         From what it seemed, Kel convinced Hero to be his chaperone somehow, having admitted about going on a date with Aubrey to him the other day. Although they were both unsuccessful, Kel had been in a relationship twice, not to mention he was fairly outgoing. Sunny ended up asking him about what to wear considering that his relationship was still kept a secret from Polly, and Basil was from what he could tell, a horrible person to ask about that stuff.

         Apparently he’d also gotten Hero to drive them while he was back home so he wouldn’t have to tell Polly about him and Aubrey, a welcome surprise for sure. He never relied on Kel for much at all before, but he found himself pleasantly surprised with how useful his advice was despite common assumptions about his carelessness.

         The dress pants and long sleeve collar shirt felt somewhat uncomfortable scratching against his skin, but it was worth it for a much more presentable look than what he was used to. Expectedly, it wasn’t enough to let him tell himself he looked good in the slightest in the end when he checked out his new appearance in the mirror. He planned to remove his eyepatch in the case that the restaurant was dimly lit, the ideal romantic setting from what he gathered.

         Hero changed his pace after noticing Sunny lagging behind the two of them, slowing down enough to be able to walk alongside him. Suddenly Sunny could feel his throat tightening, he struggled to breathe as if he were on top of a mountain, air so thin it gave no resistance at all.

         The towering figure looming next to him spoke up cheerfully despite Sunny’s constant assumptions. “So, when did you two get together?”

         “Huh?”

         “Kel told me you needed me to drive you to a date with Aubrey right?”

         Sunny reluctantly nodded, the sound of people mentioning that he and Aubrey were dating still embarrassed him to no end, even if it was his old friends. Come to think of it, how would Hero be okay with this? He took away the love of his life and lied about it, causing him to think of himself as an awful person for four years. And now Hero was just supposed to support him and Aubrey enjoying what was selfishly taken away from him?

         “So then how long has it been? Are you two going to prom together?”

         “Just… two weeks now. We started talking… I think a month ago.”

         “Really? You two got together that fast? I’m surprised you had it in you to confess to her that quickly.”

         Hero raised his hand up for a high five but Sunny couldn’t so much as look him back in the eyes. “Actually, she asked me…”

         The moment he saw Hero freeze he immediately tensed up, coming to a complete stop as well. His thoughts scrambled around, wondering if he said the wrong thing, perhaps broken the final straw of what he always assumed was Hero’s uncertain stability. Kel mentioned how when Mari died he had lost it completely, causing Sunny to assume the truth would do the same to him.

         Suddenly he could feel an arm squeezing around his neck like a giant snake, Hero’s side slamming up against his in some kind of a side hug. He didn’t seem upset, in fact, somehow Hero still looked as overjoyed as he was at the door. How did he fake it all so easily? Was living up to the way people saw him that simple?

         “You cheeky little… I’m proud of you Sunny. Mari always said you two would make a great couple.”

         She did?

         Sunny’s fluster was interrupted by another body brushing up against him before he could brace in time.

         “Don’t forget about me you two!” Kel boomed, clearly bored of being left out like this. The hug continued for a few seconds before the crossed the street and continued walking to their house. Sunny’s home still hadn’t sold yet, at this rate it likely never would.

         Kel left the two of them as Hero invited him to get into the car, giving girl advice the entirety of the incredibly short drive back to Aubrey’s house. Unsurprisingly the advice he had given him made the most sense out of anyone else’s, Hero was a natural charmer at heart after all.

         Aubrey joined them shortly after they pulled up in front of their house, not needing to honk the horn as they immediately noticed her staring out through the window waiting for them.

         The first thought that came to his mind was that she looked stunning, not exactly different in that regard from every other time she saw her or course, but her appearance was completely unexpected to say the least. Most things remained the same, such as her bright teal contacts and bow, along with wearing the same colorful sneakers despite the rest of her appearance. She wore an elegant black dress and a green long sleeve sweater under it.

         Joining Sunny in the backseat, the two were off on the first date of their lives, Hero smiling the world’s most proud dad while he drove them to their destination about twenty minutes away, berating the two with sappy questions of all sorts and regaling them with tales about times he spent with Mari.

         With Mari.

         Why?

         Why didn’t Hero hate him for it?

         “Sunny you alright?” Aubrey’s voice punctured his train of thoughts after she must have noticed his uneasiness. He noticed her firm grip taking hold of his hand, a sense of comfort washing over him as she played with and intertwined their fingers together. “Hey Hero.”

         “Yeah what is it?”

         “Do you hate Sunny?”

         What are you doing?

         Sunny shot up from his trance, noticing Hero and Aubrey share a look for a moment. Did she catch on that easily?

         “Of course not. If it’s… about Mari, I already told you, you were just a kid. None of that stuff is anything I would ever hold you accountable for. I wish I noticed what was going on sooner before you spent four years living inside your house like that. I know you feel guilty after what you did but look…

         Things actually got better for me Sunny, after you told the truth. It still hurts not having her here anymore, but you shouldn’t dwell on that. You had to live with all of that for so long, it must’ve been hard to deal with all that. I was really bad for one year, and I couldn’t see things getting better at all. Even afterwards too. Things didn’t clear up until you told us what happened. I guess, things will get better, but they won’t unless you let them. If you keep dwelling on how much you hurt everyone, you may not realize how much they care about you.”

         “He’s right Sunny. We all care about you whether you like it or not.”

         A pale set of hands enveloped his vision once more, but this time he fought for them to go away, pleading it wouldn’t keep doing this to him. Everything began to blur as the words around him slowly lost all sense of meaning, an endless, unbreakable white wall dividing his word from the real one.

         Maybe his old habits would never break. Somehow reassurance wasn’t what he wanted to hear, his stubborn and selfish mind decided that the only option then was to act like it heard nothing. Was it okay for it to stop? What was it protecting him from? Was it okay to exist in the moment now?

         What was wrong with feeling emotions?    

         He couldn’t fight it, simply accepting that confrontations like these would always trigger that kind of a response. He’d never get better. But he was fine with that. 

         The hands remained clasped over his eyes for the entire ride, even long after the conversation about Hero forgiving him. Very few words stuck out, among them was Aubrey’s phrase, “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry.”

         It wasn’t her fault he was like this. It was his and his alone. And no one would deal with it except for him. No one else would understand what he did to himself.

         And that was okay.

         It was, wasn’t it?

         As he slowly attempted to reel back, as close to reality as he ever was, which was still so unfortunately far away, the following events still blurred to him. Getting out of the car with her and walking in. Being brought over to a table and sitting down.

         Glancing at the menu itself even seemed to trigger anxiety for him, not due to the price of the food though it did seem outrageous, but the variety of the options, the loss of opportunity and coming of regret when he inevitably made the wrong choice.

         Looking over to Aubrey’s face for support things didn’t seem much better at all as she scanned the menu with a mix of confusion and discontentment. Maybe she was struggling with the same problem as well?

         He didn’t exactly wish to make assumptions, but the thought of her rough home life stuck at the forefront of his mind. Of course she wouldn’t be used to spending money like this, on food no less. She’d likely never been to such a place in years since her father left if he had to assume.

         Money meant almost nothing to him, no matter how much interest he paid it he struggled to find a concept of what it was actually worth, spending it whenever he pleased, though that wasn’t often at all. There was rarely anything he felt he needed, lying on the floor in his room all day with a sketchbook for his occasional thoughts if he wasn’t currently working satisfied him completely. It was of course, the exact opposite for her it seemed.

         If he told her he’d pay for it would it upset her? That would mean that he made the assumption that she’s constantly struggling with money and can’t managed to take care of herself. Even if it should be seen as a good deed the gesture could still be considered rude.

         “You see anything you like?” She questioned, hardly showing much nervousness in her voice like he presumed.

         He’d been so focused on her that he’d forgotten to consider his own options. Most of the meals were steak and lamb based, this was a steakhouse after all. Nothing seemed to catch his eye all that much, taste didn’t really matter to him anymore. Sometimes that thought disturbed him that he couldn’t enjoy food either, but it was just one among an endless stream of unpleasant thoughts in the grand scheme of things.

         “I’m still not that sure…”

         “Take your time then.”

         “What about you?”

         “I was thinking the eggplant parm.”

         That would have been Sunny’s guess as to what she’d order, after all it used to be her favorite when they were little, not to mention one of the cheaper options on the menu if things were as he assumed. Should he still say it didn’t matter and that he’d pay for it?

         What was the point in this whole date anyways?

         It seemed like a good idea at first in his head, all couples go on dates like this and do things together, but he was perfectly content lazing around and doing nothing at all alongside her. Was she the same?

         It didn’t matter what food he ate, or what they were up to, their time together was precious to him.

         Aubrey liked eggplant, so maybe it would be best not to assume things and bring that up.

         Why do I have to overthink things so much? It’s just a date. Stay calm.

         Still in the tormenting valley of indecision, he found it best to speak up and find out what she thought. His ideas never made sense, he didn’t like them anyways. It didn’t matter much to him what he perceived of himself or anything else around her.

         Whenever they were together, it was about what she thought. That made him happy.

         “What do you think I’d like?”

         “Well, what do you enjoy?”

         “I-I’m not sure.”

         “You don’t know what you like?”

         He couldn’t think of a good way to respond to that question, but he really didn’t have to. His expression already leaked to her the information she needed to know.

         “Well… you liked steak a lot right? Do you prefer sweet things or more… refined… I guess?”

         “Sweet.”

         “Well err… there’s this Mediterranean one here. It looks good but… I guess it’s a bit pricey. Maybe…”

         “It’s fine.”

         “So you wanna go with that one then?”

         “I think so.”

         It felt a little nicer knowing Aubrey had put thought into what he might enjoy eating, more than he could manage in fact. She ended up ordering for the both of them when the waiter came over so he wouldn’t have to speak and end up feeling regretful.

         Why was eating out such a strenuous task?

         Chattering filled the dimly lit room around them, the voices of the crowd triggering him to feel even more isolated than if it was just the two of them. Every now and then he’d have to glance over at a table to make sure people weren’t staring at him with glowing eyes like he imagined, eventually resorting to taking off his eyepatch to make it a little easier.

         “You good? It’s a little crowded in here.”

         “I guess it is.”

         “Thanks for this by the way. I can’t recall the last time I’ve gone out to a place like this. Beat Gino’s in just about every way. Even the water here is better somehow.”

         Confused as to what she meant he tried giving it a taste as well, finding it difficult to notice any sort of difference. It was different for sure, but it didn’t make sense why or how.

         “Dork.”

         By now he’d gotten used to her calling him names, in fact they were more endearing than he initially felt. Almost causing him to consider changing his own name entirely to one of them, he didn’t like the sound of it after all, even though it was Mari who named him.

         It sounded so immensely bland to him. He was used to it so it wasn’t awful, but it still didn’t sit right for some reason, not just because he was probably the gloomiest person in the entire town.

         “Earth to Sunny? You there?”

         Unsurprisingly he was finding it immensely difficult in such a pressuring place to avoid being sucked out of reality. Thankfully Aubrey was here to pull him back.

         “Sorry. I spaced out again.”

         “You’re all good.” She tapped the edge of her cheek looking for some kind of a conversation, not that he was any good at keeping them up. “Has your house sold yet?”

         “It hasn’t yet. I think it’s because of people talking about… what happened to Mari. No one really wants to live in a house like that. They tried furnishing the treehouse up a bit to make it a better offer. There’s even power running to it, a TV and a stove as well.”

         It shocked him at first how much more open he’d gotten around her to the point where he could talk for so long. It was relieving to say so much, even though it was about nothing in particular.

         “No kidding huh? Did you get the chance to see it?”

         “Kel had me sneak out with him to go in there one time. We didn’t know about the changes until then.”

         Their conversation was interrupted by the waiter having arrived with their food, flamboyantly presented on shimmering white plates. Her eggplant parmesan came along with a serving of pasta to the side, juicy tomato sauce drizzled over it. The same side serving went for his steak as well, along with some kind of bright red looking sauce with various herbs sprinkled in. Despite how miniscule of an appetite he bore, it still managed to entrance him a little.

         By the time he’d wrapped up his visual analysis Aubrey had already begun to dig into her meal with utmost ecstasy, even to her demise when she realized it was still too warm for eating.

         Sunny somehow found himself bursting with laughter at it, seeing her get so suddenly overwhelmed to the point of freaking out and covering her mouth with her hand and blowing to cool it down in a frenzy.

         Something about his laughter must have infected her as well because she promptly found herself doing the same, an even more contagious laugh than the one he had somehow given off. Suddenly before they knew it the two had been chuckling as if they were drunk for what felt like an entire minute. He couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t understand what was so hilarious about it and yet he kept laughing regardless until lightheadedness kicked in.

         It felt thrilling somehow. He was enjoying himself.

         Somehow the endless giggle barrage came to an end, by the time it did so her food was apparently cooled off enough to eat. Even as he consumed his own he found himself staring at her own reaction to hers. He wanted to be just like that. More than anything else right now, he understood that he desperately wished to feel emotion like she did.

         “Do you mind if I have a bite?” She asked him, changing her attention to his plate, “You can try some of mine as well.”

         “Oh-sure.”

         He sliced off a square from the steak to make it easier for her to pick up from the other side of the table, once again anticipating her reaction to it; seemingly the only way he could feel validated if he enjoyed it or not.

         It didn’t taste repugnant or anything of the sorts, even if the crimson sauce left somewhat of a lingering sting on his tongue. But, the flavor didn’t mean anything more than just that to him, it didn’t bring him incessant bliss like it seemed to do for her.

         “Hmm… I like it.” Her smile spoke volumes to him somehow, her teeth glaring at him adorned in the shimmering coat of red sauce. He tried some of hers as well, biting into the mushy eggplant. It was alright, though he much preferred his own meal.

         Eventually he’d gotten through as much of it as he could, coming to the conclusion that perhaps such a gargantuan meal should have been recognized as an impossible feat for him from the very beginning. Then at last, after a short while of waiting and idyllically chatting, the waiter returned and dropped off the bill.

         Probing around his back pocket and pulling his wallet from it, he was met with the sight of Aubrey doing the same. Should he bring it up now then? He intended to pay for it from the start, even having already done the math for the tip in his head.

         “It’s fine, I’ll pay for it.”

         Something about that didn’t sit perfectly right with her, especially considering that he’d already thrown so much to waste on the punk who’d been bullying him. In fact, she still wished to pay for his meal as well if she was able to.

         “No I’ll pay for mine it’s-”

         “Please just let me.”

         “Sunny you don’t have to worry about me that much, I-”

         “Can I do it as a ‘thank you’ then? I can’t begin to express it. I know I’m terrible when it comes to talking about my thoughts, but I want to thank you for everything. For helping me laugh again, and for forgiving me, and spending time with me… I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you but you’re still here for me no matter how many times I tell you.

         I don’t know why you care about me so much, and I know you don’t like when I say things like that so I’ll stop, but I want to thank you in every way I can. If that’s enough.”

         “Sunny I… alright. If it makes you feel better.”

         She halfheartedly slid the bill across the table letting him pay for it, a genuine smile finding its way over both of their faces as they once again locked their hands together as if they were made for each other.

         When they finally got outside the restaurant he suddenly found himself encased in an amorous hug from her, her own head pressed against the side of his, covering up his face with her gorgeous veil of pink hair like the northern lights gleaming in the artic sky. He returned it as kindly as he could hoping no one was staring at them.

         “You don’t have to thank me Sunny. I know I haven’t said much about it but, I should be the one thanking you. I know you don’t see it, but you’re a wonderful person no matter what you think. I don’t know where I’d right now without you other than sitting around all day finding excuses to hate people.”

         In the midst of their heartfelt moment, Sunny noticed a tall figure observing excitedly in the distance. He tapped her back a few times, “You know Hero’s here right?”

         “Let him watch then.”

         Somehow Hero’s presence only caused her to tighten the hug, almost all of her body pressed closely up against his, still unsure as to why he was receiving so much affection. He was grateful that no one else seemed to be outside right now to watch besides Hero of course.

         “Alright, we can go now.” She informed him as she peeled herself off of his shirt, wiping a tear from her cheery face.

         What makes you think I mean so much to you?

         Why am I so special?

         Why do I… deserve you?

         Sunny found himself sitting crossed legged on the floor in Kel’s room, playing a video game with his overly athletic friend as Hero helped their mother prepare dinner. They were just hanging out together today, nothing major. Apparently Kel was a little bummed he didn’t end up getting a prom date, but he said he’d just hang out with Basil in that case. It’s not like he had much interest in dating currently, he just didn’t want to be left out. Hero said he’d be fine staying at home, knowing preemptively that prom wouldn’t sit well with him due to never getting to go there with Mari.

         “So, how’d things go on you little date yesterday? Did you kiss her yet?”

         Rivers of red flowed through the reclusive boy’s cheeks illuminating them in a shower of crimson at the thought. Kel refocused himself on the racing game they’d been playing, perhaps planning on using this opportunity to take the lead. Outside of dirty tactics like such it was considered impossible to beat Sunny at video games, even people older than him still couldn’t.

         “W-Was I supposed to?”

         That question made more sense in his head for the few seconds he kept it, regretting his progression into becoming slightly more outgoing already with the amount of idiotic phrases that he’d up blurting out.

         “Well, it’s not like you have to but… most couples tend to kiss within the first month, and you two have been all lovey-dovey in the school cafeteria for even longer than that. I just figured you would have by now is all.”

         A month? That seemed like far too short to be true. Did people really get together that fast? The most they’d done together was that tight hug last night at dinner.

         After a long pause only softened by their dwindling concentration on the game in front of them Sunny mustered the courage to speak up.

         “D-Did you ever… kiss someone…”

         Maybe that was a weird question to ask.

         “Me? Yeah, it happened just a week before I broke up though, so I would say it’s something to aim for, heh.”

         As far as Sunny was aware, Kel had been in two relationships, at least since he’d arrived to spend the school year with them. Both were unsuccessful, in fact the first ended fairly early on because his partner accused him of cheating on her, which he technically, though unknowingly was.

         “Was… it nice?”

         Could you be any more embarrassing?

         His curiosity was getting the better of him, imagining the soft touch of Aubrey’s lips on his in too great and exaggerated of detail to admit, the moment playing in his head in higher quality than any camera could even hope to capture.

         “Well she just kissed me on the cheek so I guess it was nice, I don’t really know what I would have done if it was on the lips. That’s what I was referring to with you guys at least. Honestly it’s kind of surprising that you haven’t done it yet.”

         Kel turned to notice a look on Sunny’s face depicting a mixture of confusion and concern for some strange reason. Sometimes he’d decide not to speak at all, that was fairly normal, but he seemed more lost in contemplation that most other times all of the sudden.

         “All that romance stuff really just doesn’t suit me after all. Honestly I’ve found myself a lot better without it, just chilling with my best friends all the time instead of all these do you love me shenanigans. If I was still like I was the week you got here I’d be asking for a beating. Who was I with again?”

         The memory in specific actually took place a little while after he’d arrived, for just about a week he was always on the phone with someone else to the point where his mom had to take it away from him. Whenever he visited Kel they’d try to play games like this, however every few minutes his focus would randomly shift to a text he’d gotten like it was the most important thing in the world. At the time all Sunny could think about it was that he deserved to be ignored but, thinking about it now he could understand why he never looked forward to hanging out with Kel until after the breakup.

         And he didn’t even remember who it was?

         “Summer…” Sunny muttered, somehow more knowledgeable of her name than the one who was supposed to be her, even if only for a short time.

         “Summer that’s right! Heh, dating Summer in the Summer. She was alright I guess. As I said though, it really doesn’t beat hanging out with you guys.”

         Did she really matter that little to him? What was the point of a relationship if they weren’t everything to each other? Is that actually how most relationships are?

         Is that how Aubrey sees him?

         “Speaking of which, how’s Basil been doing? Any cool new plants lately?”

         “Oh umm… yeah he’s been doing okay. Not much has been going on really.”

         “That’s cool, just checking up on him.”

         They ended their race before heading downstairs at the delectable scent of dinner, something Sunny found himself wishing Aubrey could have joined them for as well. She probably wasn’t enjoying her food. Someday he’d find a way to fix her home life, even if it required her to leave her family, as long as she was okay with that of course.

         A kiss…

         Aubrey’s mention of it caused Sunny to make an attempt to visit the local convince store with the intention of trying a grape soda out for himself, along with maybe purchasing a bag of candy while he was at it. The sun was making its cumbersome descent from the expansive sky after a long day. His thoughts recently had been getting worse than he was used to, now faced with the pressure of going through with an actual kiss, alongside his usual array of depressive thoughts pounding on the inside of his head like desperate prisoners attempting to escape their cage.

         The closer he became with her the more his thoughts began to tear him apart, like oil rejecting water and pushing it away. Even being desperately in love with her couldn’t suppress his thoughts as he’d hoped.

         Before he could even reach the doors he was interrupted by a gang of five members wearing leather jackets, one of whom he had immediately recognized. While there was clearly one who seemed to be their leader, equipped with a spiky hairstyle among various piercings and metal bands wrapping around his wrists, the one he knew was following in the back. Peyton, seemingly the youngest, walked around the group who’d already imposed enough to cause Sunny to freeze up entirely.

         “Hey there kid, noticed you forgot my letter this week? You short on cash or sumthin’?”

         Perhaps he should have seen this coming considering that they exuded the same vibes as any typical gang portrayed in movies, but something in him allowed him to trust Aubrey’s words a little too easily. What he explained was right after all, he didn’t end up giving him the money this week. He would have written a note to him if he had the confidence to, explaining that he was told it was being wasted and had to stop.

         “Look at this little one, you sure this is the right guy?”

         “Hey, look at us while we’re talking to you nerd.”

         “Look at him, he’s so pathetic he looks like a baby. What’s with that blank face you little momma’s boy?”

         Peyton crouched down in front of him, intercepting the spot on the floor where Sunny had immediately chosen to focus himself on. Again, pale white hands stretched their way to obscure his eyes and shut his ears. This was perhaps one of the few situations where his repression it seemed like it would help.

         Despite his body doing its best to calm itself down naturally, adrenaline pumped through him faster than his blood could handle, his heartbeat accelerating enough to power a skyscraper as his eye’s met with those of his aggressor’s surprisingly well kept face.

         “You gonna say something?”

         “Look at him, why not just take whatever he’s got on em’ and leave?”

         Peyton held a finger up to quiet his friends so they would ruin his special moment with the boy who’d betrayed him.

         “Datin’ that punk chick got you feeling cocky huh? You think you can just cut back on our deal like that ya little freak? My whole family’s lives are on the line because of this.”

         “Y-Y-You weren’t sp-sp-spending it… on them.”

         “I’m about to thrash you so hard you’ll go blind it two eyes bucko. You wanna hand over what you promised?”

         It was no easy decision for him in the slightest. On one hand, handing over whatever money he had on him might get him out of this situation unscathed, but Aubrey wouldn’t be pleased with it if she found out. He knew he was supposed to stand up for himself in any way he could. However he didn’t even have the usual sum that he payed currently on him, so would that even suffice?

         In this case, perhaps the best method would be running away as quickly as possible. Apparently he was some sort of a fast runner according to Kel, but his feeble stamina and body couldn’t keep it up for very long.       

         It made it easier to do so as his body seemed to urge him towards it in every possible way. If he weren’t able to control himself and persist so well he’d have taken off already. After a quick step back he bolted away from them as hastily as he could, or at least he endeavored to before his foot was completely swept of balance by a heavy boot locking itself with his shoe.

         The world seemed to decelerate around him as he began plummeting towards the filthy concrete pavement, reminding him of how Mari must have felt that day. Maybe this was his payback finally catching up to him. Blurry overlays of how he often pictured that fall must have felt for her overlaid themselves with his own vision like onion’s skin.

         His arms naturally flung themselves forward to brace his fall, sending him tumbling right-side down into the sidewalk. He felt the whiplash slam the side of his head forward into it, burns inscribing their presence into his arms violently enough for his nerves to feel as if they were about to shut down, covering his bare arms and the half of his head which had met the rigid floor below.

         The air shot out of him like someone jumping on top of a plastic bag full of water; feeling himself as he involuntarily gasped relentlessly as if he were in space. Slight tints of cheery red began to make their way around what he could see of his physique as he lie there curled up helplessly like roadkill. His position was the same as he’d done so many times before while lying on the ground in his room or on his bed sobbing to himself.

         “Bet you feel so full of yourself now ya little shit.”

         “Stop it, he’s just a kid.”

         “I’m gonna have a fun time with this one.”

         He could feel a heavy, likely metal tipped boot stomp itself upon his side as the face of their leader towered over him with an excited grin, his arms resting on his own knee and hip.

         “Who wants to take a lick at him first? Anyone?”

         “GET OFF OF HIM!”

         Like a knight in shining armor in his moment of desperation, a pink haired girl wielding a nail bat with her gang following closely behind her found their way into his line of sight.

         “Oh if it isn’t his little girlfriend. What? You tired of your little piggy bank getting stolen? He made a deal with us first you know.”

         She didn’t even respond before she charged straight towards them with enough ferocity to scare off a lion. Kim put her hand out in front of Vance when he tried to approach them, bearing some sort of smug smile on her face as if she had dreamt up this situation somehow. The weighty metal boot lifted itself off of his side, parting with a light kick straight into his spine like a mallet; reverberations echoing through Sunny as he arched his back in response..

         They backed off surprisingly quick, even from what he could tell was just a false swing to scare them away. Of course, she was the one holding a weapon here, and he knew for a fact she could use it better than anyone else. They were wise not to pick a fight.

         It was over just like that, almost the instant she showed up they retreated far off into the distance.

         Her delinquent façade broke the moment they left as she delved into a panic, lifting up his arms and legs to inspect the damage. From her reaction it must have been terrible. It felt appalling. He’d imagined pain so many times before, even inflicted it upon himself in worse manners, but the unending burning sensation creeping all over his body wouldn’t go away or satisfy any part of his mind, nor would his breathing slow enough to let himself calm down. He desperately wished to tell her something but found himself coughing up blood instead, perhaps coming from the side of his mouth that had hit the ground.

         “Please be alright Sunny, just hang in there a little longer. Please be okay.” She pleaded as if it were her own life on the line. It was just his. Why did she struggle so much to protect him?

         His consciousness began to fade away slowly as if he were falling down an endless well, moving further from the light at an alarming rate as the world began to twist and blur around him to the point where he began to hallucinate again in the last moments of consciousness. The last things he could feel were Aubrey’s arms sliding themselves under his knees and below his back, followed by acceleration of being hoisted up, a feeling which seemed as if he were being flung forward on a catapult to his terrified senses.

         “Sunny say something!”

         Everything is going to be okay.

         His conscience flickered in and out of reality for a while, watching in what felt like some sort of spectator perspective, as if he were sitting alone in a dark and empty movie theater watching his helpless body get carried around by her. The theater shook and jostled with them as they raced down the street together back to Basil’s house.

         Knocking, seeing Polly’s worried expression as she let them in. Blurry visions of alcohol being rubbed over his wounds as he unwillingly recoiled from the sting. Bandages. Basil came out of his own room to see what was going on, he seemed like he was blaming Aubrey at first.

         Why do you think they’re doing this to you Sunny?

         Eventually he found himself with the strength to fully awake after flashing back and forth through consciousness like he was attempting to stay afloat in a ranging storm in the ocean. He’d been lying in his bed, alone in the dark room he had to call his own, even if it never truly felt like it. There were rigid tan bandages and gauze affixed around his bony arms and legs like rolls of tape. Even his head was bandaged up again.

         All of this only a few days before prom?

         What a pain.

         Maybe this was a warning.                 

         The door had been shut, something which Polly and Basil never did on their own despite how he’d practically never be in his room without it being closed, likely meaning that he’d be alone for as long as he needed to recover. Aubrey appeared and saved him from Peyton and the others, and must have then carried him all the way here on her own. Did… she just leave after that?

         Finding himself bored to no end already and overcome with typical thoughts pulling him into the ground like an army of red hands, he opened the drawer in his nightstand and pulled out his sketchbook and pencils as usual, removing his eyepatch so he could see better.

         Words wouldn’t form properly within his throbbing head, so he settling for a quick sketch. What would it be this time? Him being beaten to a pulp? Torn apart limb from limb by kids fighting over possession of him like a pack of gum? That did sound somewhat interesting. Perhaps something might come to mind better if he started to draw first.

         Sitting up, he started with sketching Omori like most of his drawings, a simple way to feel as if he were drawing his own self, even if it wasn’t likely healthy to have that kind of a self-projection. The angle he ended up at seemed to make him look like he was lying down, so he went with that. Something about him felt like adding red hands to the drawing, depicting them creeping up his arms like worms. A few were tugging at him, while others simply rested on his arms and legs to make sure he couldn’t get very far.

         He added a knife, just out of reach of Omori’s grasp as the eerie hands crawled and fought over him like territorial beasts. Omori’s eyes were focused on what would forever be out of his grasp, taunting him like a promise that would never come true.

         Suddenly he heard a door that wasn’t his creep open from the hallway, followed by footsteps that didn’t seem like Basil or Polly’s, walking somberly towards… his door. The moment Sunny saw the doorknob flinch downwards he shoved the sketchbook under the blanket perhaps a moment too late, in the process spilling over his pencil case, the contents leaking all over the ground like a breadcrumb trail; spoiling all hopes of hiding his actions.

         “Sunny… you’re…”

         A blur of pink raced towards him, glomping him in a tight embrace. Her arms dug into his back in some kind of a comforting way as her hair brushed up against his own.

         “I’m sorry.” She sniffled, bawling enough tears that he could feel the wetness seeping through his shirt and on to his shoulder, “I’m so sorry.”

         “It’s fine… I’m okay, see?”

         “No! No it isn’t! Sunny you were bleeding everywhere! You were curled up like that, and I felt so… so horrible… they did that to you because of me… all of this is because of me!”

         I’m always curled up like that. Is it… that sad to think about?

         Why is she still crying?

         Can I… even do that too?

         He returned her embrace and patted her back rhythmically, the same way Mari used to, something that almost became a familiar tune to him. If only he could be half what Mari was when it came to comforting and helping people.

         “I keep being so selfish about all of this… all I do is get you hurt because of me…”

         I’m the one being selfish…

         “I should have told them to back off, all I did was put you in danger. All of this… started as a way to get back at you and…”

         What does that mean?

         Why is she crying?

         He breathed heavily, keep up his part of the embrace and stroking though her matted hair. To him it felt perfect, silky smooth as if she’d spent all day combing it. Like running his hand through a stream of warm water from the sink.

         “I’m so sorry. I don’t… want to lose you… again… and I’m so afraid that you’ll leave me after… all that I’ve done…”

         What is it that makes you think… that I’m special?

         I’m not… special.

         I’m… I’m the monster that you think you are for some reason.

         It’s all… because of me… that you had to go through these things, you wouldn’t hate yourself so much if not for me.

         He found his face struggling to stay composed, his bleak expression starting to crumble as his eyes welled up. Only one tear managed to escape, tricking down the side of his head like a drop of rain. Was that all he could cry?

         I want to cry again.

         Please just let me.                           

         “You mean the world to me Sunny… and I wish that I could be, even a tiny part of what you see in me… the way you make me feel… I want to be… the me through your eyes… but I keep hurting you, I hurt everyone and blame it on them…”

         The you that I see? You don’t get it. I don’t even see you for half of how amazing you are. My eyes just… don’t go that far.

         Now wasn’t the time to speak up just yet, he knew better than that after so many talks like these on the swings years ago, but it was coming soon.

         “I told myself that I’d stopped all that… and I used Mari’s death to blame you because I couldn’t back then… I’m such a monster… I don’t deserve you… all I do is hurt you… and act like you’re not hurting more than I am… because, being with you makes me feel… so free again that I… I just forget that things aren’t really…”

         “That isn’t… I’m sorry that I’m terrible at talking about things like this. But, I don’t think any of that about you, and… I don’t see why, you should think that either. I… is it okay if… I write it down instead? I can never say these things right.”

         When she let go of him he pulled out the sketchbook from under the covers and flicked on the lights, giving her some time to wipe the tears from her face. He couldn’t understand why things didn’t seem tense in this moment, it felt comforting to talk like this, to cry even if it only was a single tear. To see her be so open and vulnerable to him. She keep venting occasionally as he tried to keep his handwriting legible.

         Aubrey, I can’t summarize what I think of you easily at all, you are, and always will be amazing to me. And you’re not awful, you were just dealing with things. If you don’t allow me to feel guilty about all of the things I’ve done and how I’ve hurt you, then I won’t let you do the same. To me at least, you’ve done nothing wrong, you were just fighting to keep yourself safe and alive. I wish I was as strong as you were. All I did was hide from my pain and let it torment me all that time. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like it I had reached out to you back then, how much better things would be. You’re not a monster, you’re the strongest willed, most caring person I know in the whole world. You asked Hero what he thought of me because you knew exactly what we both thought and you wanted to help me. You always try to help your friends no matter what. You notice things about people that no one else does. I don’t know how to end this, but I won’t stop telling you these things until you realize how amazing of a person you are. There’s usually a lot that words can’t properly express, and there’s so many more things about you that I just don’t know how to say. I want you to learn to see them too, all the good in yourself. That’s probably the least I can do after what you’ve done for me. I wish I could do more honestly.

         After she finished reading through the note, she pulled him from his position, currently curled up with his head on his knees, arms wrapped around them, and into a sort of side hug. Slowly she pulled him closer and closer in, an exchange that didn’t rely on any words whatsoever, until their chins rested on each other’s shoulders, leaning on each not just physically, but emotionally, like they perhaps dreamt of doing one day.

         Their exchange lasted for a long time, what they wished could have been an eternity, basking in the most comforting silence they’d ever felt. Their guises seemed to fade away as if they were never even there. Eventually, like all good things, it did end when she finally pulled away, prompting Sunny to speak up.

         “I have to umm… use the restroom. And I think the others are probably worried for me.”

         When he left the room she turned back to the sketchbook, reading through the note he’d written her, giving her tender and fuzzy feelings that she wished would cease. But something else caught her mind to, what he’d been doing earlier, and what she saw the time she came through the window.

         What the-

         As she flipped through the pages she came face to face with a side of Sunny that she knew shockingly little about before, glancing through various rants and cryptic drawings filled with disturbing and depressing imagery. Most of the drawings were of a character whose body was completely white, wearing a black tank top and stripped shorts. His face was reminiscent of Sunny’s, bearing a consistently blank expression, along a similar black hair color, and a pair of beady pitch black eyes.

         The infinitely more concerning paragraphs of inconsistent handwriting seemed to tie in with this character’s doings, causing her to wonder if this was who Sunny saw himself as, or at least preferred to draw.

         She read through the words as quickly as she could, wasting no time to sort through specific details. She shouldn’t be looking at this, and if Sunny caught her things might get awful between them, perhaps she’d immediately lose all the trust he had just confirmed in her. But that didn’t overweigh the necessity of reading through these, after all over half of them mentioned suicide, something Sunny hadn’t even brought up around her.

         Things she’d never realized about him flashed around her. It didn’t require much debating why he’d want to end his life, even if she hadn’t read through any of these it wouldn’t be too unlikely. Of course, she wasn’t going to let that happen, ever. She’d have to find a way to bring this up with him.

         ”I’m just a fence that they’ve grown learn to cling on, they never needed me in the first place”

         “She was their water.”

         “A murder like me doesn’t deserve their friendship. All I’ve ever done was trick them into thinking I’m someone worth caring about.”

         “A voice inside of my own head.”      

         “Sometimes I wonder if the only reason they forgive me is because they think Mari would have wanted that.”

“I want to die but I'm always too afraid to do it.”

         “It should have been me that day. Things would have been so much better for everyone if it was me who died instead.”

         Her eye’s darted around depictions of him defiling this version of himself that he drew, strange figures cutting him open with knives, and sometimes even depicting himself being the one to do it, along with other methods of torture. Pitch black figures lurked everywhere on the pages, and one of them stood out in particular. It seemed unsettlingly familiar somehow, as if she’d seen it in her own nightmares. She was even lucky enough to find a brief explanation alongside it, although lucky was the exact opposite of how she had felt reading those horrid words.

         “When I looked back, I saw one eye staring at me wide open. The image of it was burned in my mind. I shouldn’t have looked back.”

         She felt horrible for having not wondered all of this sooner, still caught up in the girlish and blissful fantasy that was their unlikely romance. He didn’t say any of this when he told them the truth back then, nothing of how much it tore him apart. He didn’t want to be forgiven for it.

         Abruptly upon hearing the toilet flush across the hallway she returned the book to the page he’d left it on, as well as where it had been, hoping he’d never find out that she saw. She’d get him to talk about it, but she had to make sure that she didn’t throw away all of his trust more importantly. There’d be no helping him then.

         She found it safer to stay as far away from that dreadful sketchbook as possible, following his footsteps and Basil’s gasping out to the hallway where the flower boy in question was giving him a worried hug. He was giving some worried rant as usual before he turned to her when she walked in.

         “And thank you too Aubrey.” The blonde informed her, despite their previous state of anxiety around each other.

         “Wha-me?”

         “Of course, if you hadn’t stood up for him who knows what would have happened. I suppose I should apologize then, for the way I’ve treated you.”

         Strangest of all was the fact that he brought that up for whatever reason, seeing as their dispute wasn’t at all public, in fact it was hardly a real problem between them, Basil was just levelheadedly cautious of her given her past actions.

         “No Basil, you were just being reasonable, I shouldn’t have been such a jerk before. Are we good now I guess?”

         “Sure thing!”

         “Cool. It’s kind of getting late so I think I’ll head home.” She approached Sunny who’d managed to squirm his was out of Basil’s hug by now, standing awkwardly as usual. “You sure you’re gonna be alright Sun?”

         Idiot.

         She’d just used that name around Basil, hopefully Polly didn’t hear anything from her room. To her worst of worries a smug expression slid its way onto the boy’s face upon that name being mentioned, although it’s not like whatever he was planning would necessarily be a bad thing.

         Still, it was embarrassing nonetheless for him to find out about that.

         “Hey Aubrey, since you’re so worried about Sunny, do you mind spending the night here? I have to get up early in the morning so I won’t be able to check on him.”

         Can’t Polly do that? Why wasn’t he in bed already if he had to get up early?

         Perhaps he was worse at lying than she thought, especially after maintaining such a tremendous one for four years, but Aubrey immediately recognized the opportunity. Coupled with the fact that she’d be able to get out of her house for the night, she was pleasantly satisfied. She’d have to leave at some time during the morning to feed Bun-bun, but she could even return after that if she pleased.

         She’d have to make sure she didn’t come off as too excited first of all. “Sure I guess. Is that fine with you Sunny?”

         He shyly nodded back, the blush on his face having already crept its way up to his ears once more, turning them beet red somehow. It was still a mystery how that worked, but she found it adorable about him nonetheless.

         “Great! You can sleep on the couch then. I’ll grab you two some blankets and-”

         “Two?” Aubrey quickly interjected. Basil was perhaps being a little too pushy for what the two of them were comfortable with, not that she particularly disagreed with it but, was that really okay?  

         “Oh umm… did I say that? I thought I just said you? Sorry about that. Anyways I’ll got and umm… get you your… blankets. Yeah.”

         He turned away but stopped after just a mere second, turning to the two of them once more.

         “Actually I should probably head to sleep now, you know where they are right Sunny?”

         He nodded back as usual, quickly glancing over towards the closet where they were stored as he put the pieces together of what Basil had just set the two of them up for; the cheery flower boy giving them a wave goodnight as he passed them by going into his room.

         Sunny seemed to waste no time in going to help her out, likely flustered by Basil’s attempt to get them closer together all of the sudden. He pullet both a heavy and a light blanket from the closet, as well as a pillow and pillow case to match. It hardly looked at all like he could carry it all on his own, having stacked them into a tower which reached above his head, so Aubrey made her way over to help; convincing him to hand everything over to her even if he was reluctant to do so at first.

         Once everything was ready Sunny made a swift attempt to escape to his own room for obvious reasons, but Aubrey wasn’t willing to let him go just yet after what she had read.

         “You wanna watch a movie first before you head to bed? I’m not really that tired myself.”

         “Oh… sure.” While he took time to contemplate his decision, he didn’t feel like passing up this opportunity to be with her, especially when Kel’s words about a kiss made their way into his thoughts. This was almost the perfect opportunity to do so, even if he was covered in bandages.

         A simple idea then. They’d watch some kind of sappy romance movie, and kiss.

         If only he knew what movies they could even watch in the first place.

         He scrambled around the TV unit until he found a case of movie discs, most of them seemed to be kid’s movies however, old ones too, likely not at all updated in many years. Immediately daunted by the task of making a choice when he rarely watched anything to begin with, he handed it off to Aubrey before leaving the room to grab his eyepatch and clean up the mess of colored pencils now strewn about the floor. Maybe even get a chance to evaluate the situation while he’s at it.

         He ended up returning with the sketchbook in hand, along with now wearing his eyepatch since he’d have to stare into the blinding light of the TV screen in the dark.

         “What’s that for?” Aubrey attempted to bring up, asking as if she didn’t already know the dreadful things lurking inside. It would be a little uncomfortable if he was planning to show her here all of the sudden.

         “I just wanted to draw… a little bit.”

         “Alright then. I couldn’t really find much in here to be honest, and we probably shouldn’t stay up that late, you need to get some rest. Interestingly enough though, Basil has the Captain Spaceboy cartoons, I remember those were good, so we could just watch one or two episodes and call it a night.”

         Aubrey acted as if she wasn’t attempting to satisfy her former childhood obsession with that series, something she desperately wished to relive for obvious reasons.

         Sunny nodded back and their movie night began, both of them almost trying to make it as unromantic as possible. Aubrey noticed Sunny finding it increasingly more difficult to look at what was happening on the TV, eventually squinting his eye whenever he looked up at him from the sketchbook in which he was drawing some kind of flower.

         “What are you drawing?”

         “It’s… a poppy. Flowers are easy to draw I guess.”

         “Neat. May I ask what it stands for?”

         He paused for a moment, holding his face still, absorbed into the page. “It… It means, ‘I am not free’.”

         “That’s… a little dark. Here I thought they were all happy sayings.”

         “Most of them are.”

         “Hey, do you ever feel that way? About, not being free? From your thoughts and all. Kind of like, you’re not really in control of yourself, or just one of the voices in your own head maybe.”

         “Sometimes…”

         “Do you want to talk about it?”

         “N-Not… really.”

         A shadow of disappointment loomed it’s way over her face being declined like that. “That’s alright I guess.” Something else she saw for a brief moment in the notebook came to mind however.

         “You said that, you slept and dreamt a lot during those four years, but… is it okay if I ask what your dreams were like? I’m not judging you or anything for it.”

         “I don’t know how to explain it really.”

         “Were they nightmares or something?”

         Go on. Tell her.

         He took a deep sigh before attempting to explain, figuring if he wasn’t comfortable sharing the earlier topic, he at least owed this to her. “They were made to seem as friendly as possible but… it was all an excuse to run away from my problems and forget anything. I don’t know… when it was but… eventually I became so much more invested in my dreams than anything else…”

         Aubrey found it increasingly difficult to not interrupt him, but she kept silent like he always did for her.

         “I want to forget everything that had happened, even the fact that… that Mari was dead. I don’t remember when it started, but for a long time I convinced myself that she was still alive. I made myself forget what I did because… because I was too scared to face it myself… and I… I-umm… sorry, I rambled a bit there. I umm… I don’t really know… what else to say.”

         Aubrey immediately leaned over to embrace him by his side, aware that she’d interrupt his train of thoughts, though they had apparently ended. Still, she knew that there was still so much more to it that he couldn’t tell her just yet for some reason. She could ask later, but for now, she couldn’t bear to see him keep hurting like this. Maybe she wasn’t as strong willed as everyone thought she was after all.

         It’d take some time and perhaps a more detailed second explanation for her to fully understand what he’d gone through, but for now she’d make sure to be as close to him as possible.

         They tried concentrating on the TV again, this time leaning against each other like a stereotypical sappy couple in a romcom, not like that made it any less enjoyable. Something still caught her attention as Sunny’s eyes continued to make their way over to the sketchbook to the point where he couldn’t even stare at the screen anymore.

         “Hey Sunny are you good? Your eye seems a little tired all of the sudden.”

         “Oh, it’s just like this is all. I’m not 100% used to it yet I guess, but staring at bright things or concentrating with only one eye, especially after a long day…it gets tired really easily.”

         “Can you look at me for a sec?”

         “Hmm?”

         The moment he turned his head he noticed Aubrey leaning towards him, almost causing him to jump back in shock if he didn’t immediately access the situation. It didn’t fully shake the surprise from his face as Aubrey could obviously tell.

         Kel’s words to kiss her once again flooded his thoughts, forcing him to question if that’s what was just about to happen. She clasped her hands against the sides of his face, rubbing her fingers restfully against him as if she were brushing the dust off of a glistening ancient artifact.

         Completely unknowing of what to do in this situation he subtlety attempted to prepare for what he had assumed was in fact a kiss, closing his eyes and twitching his lips out slightly, making sure it wasn’t a noticeable amount just in case. He couldn’t bear to open them back up at this point, puzzled thoughts engulfed his head like a million voices yelling at once.

         He felt as her thumb gently caressed his cheek and up the strap of his eyepatch as it slid under. Gently she lifted it up, her smooth skin gliding against his head.

         He couldn’t identify if this was going to be what he had anticipated in a panic or not, forcing his eyes open and retracting his lips, still hopefully an unnoticeable amount. He begged desperately that she hadn’t realized what he had thought about in that moment.

         He remained perfectly still as she slipped the eyepatch upwards so that it rested on his eyebrow, staring into her with both eyes, the transition of which was never easy to switch between, like changing from a pitch-black room into a well-lit one. In fact that was hardly an analogy compared to a literal definition.

         Her thumb gently stroked his right eyelid, almost playing with it to an extent. It felt comforting, soothing even.

         “It’s alright if it takes time, to let yourself fully process things, and to feel all of your emotions. I’ll be here with you through it all k’ay? I know it’s tough, but I want you to be able to tell me these things. You’re not burdening me to let me know that you aren’t doing alright, if anything it makes my job easier.”

         She ended up turning off the TV before the episode had finished after noticing he’d fall asleep leaning against her shoulder like that time at the park just over a week ago. She wasn’t planning on waking him up or anything. The couch was surprisingly large after all for what used to be only three people living here. Shy scooted back before laying down herself, slipping a pillow under him so that she could rest on it as well; the tops of their head’s just barely brushing against each other.

         He looked so cute sleeping, barely making any noise at all outside of occasionally tossing and turning. She wondered if he was having another of these dreadful dreams he told her about, or maybe this time he was enjoying a pleasant one for once.

         It was only then that she realized what Sunny must have been thinking when she took off his eyepatch, a bright fluster covering her face immediately after. Was it too late now?

         Prom was just around the corner, if needed she could just hold out until then. On second thought, it sounded to her like a perfectly good idea, so much that she let out an excited giggle to herself. She was such a little girl sometimes around him.

         The inevitable nerve racking day had finally arrived, the fated day of the school prom. Hero was out with some college friends and couldn’t drive them, something Kel assumed he did only to avoid thinking about prom, so Sunny the day before had to go through the shame and embarrassment of telling Polly about him and Aubrey.

         In the few days prior he also had Basil give him dancing lessons, something even Polly was shocked to discover that he was able to do. It didn’t do much to bolster Sunny’s confidence in the end, only learning a few things here and here along with the fabled slow dance thing that couples do, perhaps the moment he looked towards with them most anticipation. He knew he wouldn’t have the confidence in himself required to dance in public, but if things somehow went well tonight they might be useful to know. Part of him ended up somehow disappointed that by the end he was in fact, not capable of jumping onto the floor and proceeding to breakdance like he initially fantasized, but even he was aware that’d be impossible.

         Basil accompanied him to aid his choices and also lighten the inevitable embarrassment from Polly as they went on an excursion to rent him a suit along with other various hygiene products such as cologne and hair gel which he couldn’t recall using once before in his life. Despite the varying number of options, there was an unspoken agreement that his ideal colors would be a black suit jacket and dress pants over a white collar shirt. Though it wouldn’t particularly stand out like he had hoped he couldn’t disagree with it very much considering dark and bland was basically a lifestyle for him. Maybe he’d try out a blue one eventually, but for now this worked. It wasn’t able to fit him perfect due to how thin and frail he was, and his shoulders bulged out making him feel like a clown.

         Unfortunately despite his wishful joking, Basil wouldn’t let him wear a bow tie.

         Aubrey on the other hand found herself struggling to find anything to wear. Kim left the window unlocked for her in the case that she wanted to borrow a dress from her closet, eventually stumbling upon a teal one the same as her bow hidden in the very back of the wardrobe.

         It was a difficult decision to go with what she was accustomed to versus what seemed reasonable, but she eventually decided to keep the bow along with it, also with stealing a pair of Kim’s mother’s fancy dress shoes, something which she definitely didn’t have permission to do. She considered high heels at first, but shut the idea down after realizing they’d make her taller than Sunny was. Recently he’d grown to the point where they were the same height, and she intended to keep things that way. The most prominent thing in her eyes, quite literally, was her decision to remove her color contacts this time around, deliberating how quickly Sunny would notice.

         Before she could realize almost the entire day had been spent tending to her appearance, using various hygiene products she found lying around Kim’s house along with making sure her hair was as well brushed as possible.

         Sunny couldn’t help but complement her appearance the moment she stepped into the car, but held back quite a bit due to the presence of two others, watching them with an uncomfortable amount of interest. Most of his complements were exchanged silently in the back of the van where they sat next to each other, such as pointing to his eyes as he wondered why she removed her contacts, only to be met with a faint blush right back at him.

         Now wasn’t the time for him to rant about how beautiful she truly was.

         When they finally arrived after giving the staff their tickets, the room they ended up in was adorned with space-themed decorations of all kind. Apparently, and entirely unknown to him, schools usually theme their prom events like this; using random trinkets such as one of those star projectors aimed towards the celling and ribbons with paper cutouts of planets dangling from them.

         The room was already somewhat crowded by the time they’d arrived, not to mention how quickly their presence had been alerted to everyone, especially with Kel’s loud and excited groans drawing attention towards them. Sunny’s status around Faraway and in the school was likely never going to leave the two of them alone, especially when paired with her considerably more interesting reputation, having gone through an entire arc in the last month. In fact Basil, along with many others who came up and spoke to them expected them to be crowned the prom king and queen.

         After a while of standing around and taking random complements which seemed to back Sunny visibly into a mental corner, Kel decided to speak up.

         “Hey Basil, wanna come with me to find a table real quick?”

         “Sure thing!”

         The two raced off before the others had a chance to follow, disappearing somewhere into the intimidating mass of people. Aubrey glanced around the room with a hint of worry, thinking about the plan that started this whole thing. None of the hooligans seemed to be anywhere in the room from what she could tell, mainly by looking around for Charlie’s gigantic stature. Good. Things were fine. They’d probably never be let in here anyways.

         “Jerks.” She blurted out after watching her friends leave her once again. Sunny caught her fiddling with her hands bashfully for a moment as she averted her gaze. “Well then… do you umm… wanna dance?”

         Constrained by the pressure of having so many other people in the same room, Sunny chose the silent approach and simply nodded, Aubrey then taking him by the hand and leading him over to where everyone seemed to be dancing around. It didn’t look that difficult to be honest.

         The closer they got to the floor the louder the clamor became, some random pop song blaring loudly enough to burst his eardrums. There were many reasons that Sunny never went to parties, and this event seemed to be formed of most of them as expected. It didn’t mean that he wouldn’t try his best to enjoy himself here, after all, those tiresome dancing lessons with Basil would then have been for absolutely nothing.

         The couple kept awkwardly dancing together, Sunny relieved to know his lessons with Basil payed off, although he didn’t have a clue what else he was supposed to do outside of a small few dance moves, and that slow dance thing. Large parties like these were never once something he enjoyed, but Aubrey seemed to catch his attention just enough so that he wouldn’t have to think about all that too often. It felt strange, the moment he walked in he saw an endless number glowing eyes fixated on him. He could still sense them, but somehow they didn’t seem to matter, a secondary thought to the person in front of him who was simply shuffling around and moving her arms almost without a care in the world. Did he really deserve this? He couldn’t ever imagine the day where the glances of everyone around him, judging him, punishing him for how awful of a person he really was, would matter so little.

         He didn’t care much for the music, he really only listened to soundtracks from movies and games, though he of course never talked about that. Music was something he had never felt comfortable with sharing.

         He found Aubrey to be the one taking charge most of the time, being that she didn’t really seem to ever feel uncomfortable outside like he did, even though she was often met with rude stares and people arbitrating her due to her delinquent status. He was thankful that people had opened up to her since they started dating, she deserved as much. Unlike him, she couldn’t really do anything to stop the circumstances that she grew up in, they were never her fault. She deserved to be happy.

         But did he deserve any of this?

         Even with an eyepatch covering up most of his face she seemed to be able to spot his subtle and bleak expression, that blank face that he wore when his head was being unkind to him. So as to not draw attention themselves she didn’t stop their dance, but she at least tried asking.

         “Hey Sunny, you feeling alright?”

         That snapped him out of it, causing him to panic for a brief second, but Aubrey held him tightly so he wouldn’t accidentally fall over or back away like he often did.

         “Oh… It’s nothing.”

         “Do you want to talk about it later?”

         “I-umm… We’ve kind of already spoken about it?”

         That helped her understand what it may have been a little bit, but she wasn’t exactly confident in her guess. Either way, he didn’t want to bring it up right now so she shouldn’t pry. It was prom after all, a day to hopefully relish for the rest of their lives. Maybe a different topic would work?

         Well, there was something on her mind…

         “Hey Sunny… About the other day.”

         Sunny’s mind began to panic, she was probably thinking about the kiss wasn’t she? Of course she realized what he was trying to do.

         Idiot. Stupid. I hate you.

         If only she could just forget about that whole thing, it was by far the most mortifying thing he’d ever done, well, aside from perhaps telling them the truth about Mari, but that’s up there for obvious reasons. He’s way to gullible to be paying attention anything Kel is saying, if he didn’t listen to him things would have been fine.

         “Sunny?”

         He realized he forgot to respond, the concerned look on Aubrey’s face peering into him. It suddenly shifted into one of a more mischievous and playful tone now that she was sure that she knew what he was thinking, something she learned from Mari years ago. Sunny was always incredibly smart, but he’s also a complete dork. Did other people really not pick up on him at all?

         She leaned forward to the side of his head and whispered into his ear with a sly smile, “We could try that again if you want.”

         If he wasn’t still holding on to her he’d have jumped back by that sentence. Every cell in his brain was failing to hold steady with what she just said, after feeling turned down the last time, even if he just played it off as nothing at all. He realized there was no getting out of this as he stumbled through all the possible outcomes.

         Her expression confirms that she knew, did she not want to? Was she waiting for tonight? Was that it?

         The imagined stares from the crowd began to seep through into his mind again. Criticizing every action that he even thought of.

         Isn’t it normal for a couple to kiss at prom? Would it be okay? Would they laugh at me?

         Mari’s smug teasing expression played in his mind. Bringing back both the unending pain and guilt he knew he’d never overcome, and the sheer humiliation that overcame him when he told her about Aubrey all those years ago. Embarrassingly he dwelled in that same memory, recalling him sitting on Mari’s bed with her as she read him a story, leaning his head on her shoulder, practically asleep.

         He always answered her with complete honesty, well most of the time, since it was practically impossible for her to not either see through said lie, or gaslight him into believing it. The only things he would ever lie about was if he was feeling down or reprimanding himself, and they were somehow the only things she rarely picked up on.

         “So little brother, do you have anyone that you like?”

         He tried to hide his blushing mess of a face in her shoulder, making it more obvious what was truly going on. She giggled menacingly, prying his head up off of her shoulder with her left hand, pushing his face up by the cheek.

         “So, who is it?”

         Mari had already gone through a potential list of candidates, not that there were many people he spoke to at all, although you don’t exactly have to talk to someone to have a crush on them.

         The smug expression kept prying him apart, if he waited any longer she’d start listing names, he’d be done for, unless he could possibly phrase it on his terms at least before she thought of anything weird.

         “Promise you won’t tell anyone?” He muttered dolefully.

         “Promise!” She gleefully accepted, holding her pinky finger up. He entertained the gesture and lock his finger with hers before spitting it out.

         Aubrey thought she had broken Sunny with that attempt, seeing as he was lost completely inside of his head.

         I-Is he imagining it happening?

         It was like he was completely frozen in ice on the inside, apart from his mouth seemingly twitching a little every now and then. She let go of him and he surprisingly enough remained completely still. Suddenly he let out a slight groan, words that she could just barely make out escaping from his mouth.

         “A-A-Aubrey…”

         Yep, she broke him, but at least he seemed to be enjoying his daydream. Still, of course after asking about that she had to get some kind of a response, although in a sense she already had one, it’s just that, well…

         “Sunny? Earth to Sunny?”

         He snapped out of it and only grew more flustered, but she grabbed him before he could back away too far. It took her a second of debating whether to be nice and give him some space, or to keep teasing him like that for a little longer. She’d have all the chances she could ever ask for to do that later.

         “So umm…” She was getting nervous herself trying to reiterate the question, “Did you want to try it then?”

         “Try what?” Sunny did his best to act like he still didn’t know what was going on, his final decision that he’d be too embarrassed to kiss her in front of everyone else like this.

         Just feign ignorance and-

         “A kiss you dummy.”

         His escape route was blocked off completely. It’s not that weird right? He glanced around the room for a brief moment and saw a couple getting awfully close to one another, their arms wrapped around each other’s necks.

         Standing nearby to them were Kel and Basil, who seemed to have been watching them the entire time. It didn’t matter at this point. Kel silently gave Sunny a thumbs up before taking another sip of his drink before Basil noticed and gave one as well. They both kept watching Sunny with tension in their gazes, clearly expecting him to attempt the one thing he was still too petrified to do.

         “Oh umm…” He couldn’t figure out anything else to say, so he relented to his only option as he attempted to shake the voices in his head from agonizing him further. Pretending as if he bore little interest in the subject, he simply responded, “Sure.”

         “Just sure?” She quizzically questioned his reply.

         He was never one to have much of a reaction to things, everyone was aware of that, but the way he said it, combined with his still blushing mess of a face, a blush that stretched itself all the way up to his ears, Aubrey pondered why he didn’t want to. Was he not actually trying to lean in for a kiss the other day? Had she been imagining things?

         His eyes darted from person to person, as if he went up to each of them individually and asked if it would be okay, only for them to respond with a shrug. Did he really have to commit to this whole thing? He didn’t want to make her upset, or think that he didn’t love her more than anything else in the world, but this felt like overstepping his boundaries. He’d hardly even gotten used to them holding hands without becoming a blushing mess.

         “No I mean… I-uh-I-I’d love to.” Sunny averted his gaze to the floor like he often did, as well as failed to fake a neutral expression as a smile crept its way up his lips.

         You’d love to? Could you have put that in any less creepy of a way?

         “Oh, right then.” She responded bashfully, realizing she didn’t know what to do here either. She simply observed what the other couples were doing, staring into his eye for a few seconds before extending her hands up to his face and wrapping them around, as he shyly reciprocated.

         They waited a few moments to lean in ever so slightly closer.

         Sunny could hear the music stop, it seemed everyone else stopped as well to focus their eyes on them. His head was exaggerating this moment way too much. Still, he wanted to say something he’d been waiting to say for a long time. If his imagination would make such a big deal out of it, it might as well be a moment to remember.

         “Aubrey, I-“

         Love you.

         Wait.

         No, it wasn’t in his head, he watched as Aubrey was startled by it too, but neither of them backed away yet, though they weren’t even that close at all. He noticed a yellow spotlight in the corner of his eyes. The music had actually come to a stop, and everyone’s attention was for some reason focused of them.

         Aubrey backed away defensively, so much attention on her returned awful memories; Sunny did the same when he realized that he wasn’t simply imagining things as usual.

         “Ahem.”

         The noise of someone tapping on a microphone blurted loudly across the room, standing proudly on the stage was Kim, in her rather odd dress, mostly blue. It was probably her choice because while still being a dress, it didn’t appear to be very girly at all. She tapped her feet against the wooden stage and grinned dauntingly before bringing the microphone back up to her face.

         Mikael was standing proudly behind her along with Vance, who seemed to be the only one uncomfortable with the situation.

         He glanced to see Aubrey’s reaction. She wasn’t just startled like everyone else, no she seemed humiliated. The first time he’d ever seen her so frozen. Was it about the kiss? Were the hooligans going to say something embarrassing? He slowly walked over to try to comfort her, each step sounded so loud that it would have scared him if it wasn’t his own feet and shoes. She looked terrified and guilty at the same time.

         “Well well, look what we have here!” Kim divulged into the microphone as she grinned even more, like she was about to savor this moment for the rest of her life, “Sunny Suzuki, look who brought a fake girlfriend to prom!”

         What is she saying?

         He wondered if “fake girlfriend” was some kind of term he just wasn’t up to date with, being as reclusive as he was, not to mention the years of isolation made him quite unfamiliar with such things. Aubrey wouldn’t lie to him right? Their relationship didn’t at all seem like a prank, she was just about to kiss him, she was the one who asked to.

         “You’re pathetic, you know that? Did you really think she’d ever be into you?” Kim’s tone suddenly switched a little. Sunny wasn’t sure whether to cover his ears yet, the uncomfortably loud music had deafened his hearing a little already, but the way Kim’s voice spat into the mic generated dreadful noises in return that reminded him too much of Something.

         Aubrey? Is that true? Did you plan this?

         He kept his eyes on her, her mortified face, her body slumped down, doing her best to hide her melancholy expression behind her hair.

         Of course she did, it was so confusing at the start when out of nowhere she started being nice to you Sunny. Of course it was all fake.

         She never loved you, no one will.

         “After what you did to your own sister you think anyone would ever treat you nicely again? Did you really think she’d ever forgive you? You goddam psychopath!”

         How does she…

         Kim paused, as if he she expected the audience to fall to the floor with laughter like Mikael seemed to be holding himself back from doing. Vance behind her seemed somewhat nervous, perhaps it was just how aggressive his sister was being. It was clear that all she did was make the room uncomfortable with her stunt, no one seemed to bear such ill thoughts of Sunny as they did.

         But Kim? He’d never seen Kim more invigorated before. Chuckling so much at what she just announced boldly to the entire room. She sat down on the wooden stage floor with her legs crossed and the microphone still in hand like some kind of celebrity.

         She’s right you know.

         Whispers and chatter of all kinds started to burst out from every direction around him, Sunny covered his ears to try to block out the noise, but the voices in his head only grew louder when he did. He stumbled away slowly, still staring at Aubrey’s stunned face, it looked like she was trying to reach her hand up towards him, but her body struggled to move.

         The bright yellow eyes of everyone else in the room berating him pushed Sunny further and further back. They were all staring at him, for real this time, quietly uttering things he couldn’t process.

         Aubrey watched as he turned around and darted out of the room, followed by a loud bang and racing footsteps as he must have darted down the halls as fast as he could go.

A voice chanted from the crowd, “So she was just playing with his feelings all along, too bad, he was such a nice guy.”

         She clenched her fists furiously but kept them at her side. It didn’t take longer either way for the muttering of the crowd to get to her, letting their words set in she loosened her arms, all of herself until she felt completely limp like she was about to collapse.

         “I thought they were a happy couple.”

         Her body wouldn’t respond, she didn’t know what to do. Sunny would likely hate her forever now, and she probably deserved that. All of this was because she had to be so petty, what would Mari think of her now?

         “Just Aubrey bullying someone again, and here I thought she was finally starting to grow up.”

         She wondered if this was how Sunny felt when Mari… died. It was even more understandable now why he shut himself in for four years like that.

         The week after Mari’s death where he continued to go to school replayed itself in her memory, how broken and lifeless he looked, Having to hear all the gossip about what happened to Mari, and putting so much blame on Sunny for it because of how quiet he always was. People always made fun of him for that, Mari’s death made it so much worse.

         “Pulling a ridiculous stunt like that on Sunny of all people?”

         Kim raised the mic to her face again, still sitting smugly on the stage with her legs crossed, “Now let me tell you something, the first time I saw that loser since he dropped out of middle school, he was carrying around a knife and tried to stab someone, and wouldn’t you believe it, but the person he tried to stab is the same person he ended up ‘falling in love with’!”

         It was hard for people to accept Kim’s words, after all she was just a delinquent girl, and an associate to the one who just bullied one of the nicest people in the school, even though he had to go through so much pain.       

         “What did Kimberly mean that he did something to his sister, didn’t she kill herself? Did he say something bad to her that made her do it?”

         “Maybe that’s why he hardly speaks.”

         After all they had been through together these past two months, Aubrey went and burned all of his trust in her to the ground. In fact she completely eviscerated it, and what part of him was trying to get better, she probably caused him to become even more broken than he already was. What was she even supposed to say to try to apologize to him? It was all her fault, and it wasn’t even an accident. She shouldn’t be the one to get forgiveness.

         “She must hate people who she thinks have it worse than her.”

         She fought to move, but it felt like the entire room was pressing against her, forcing her down into the ground, her legs almost gave in. Their never ending stares kept crowding her thoughts. She wanted to give Kim an earful for all of that. Somehow Kim didn’t seem to want to stop her fun yet, even though Sunny had already left the building.

         “What’s she doing now?”

         She gave in and hurried out the room to try to chase him down and apologize. Maybe Sunny would forgive her, he always did. Was she wrong for relying on his forgiveness after this? After she deliberately hurt him?

         “Is she really gonna chase him down and pick on him some more?”

         “Some people just never know when to quit.”

         Kel and Basil finally made their way to the front of the stage where Kim was standing after shuffling through the crowd for what felt like an eternity, doing their best not to spill their drinks on anyone since they couldn’t find a place to put them.

         Kim blared another insult through the microphone, “Ever wondered how that freak ended up with an eyepatch? He sent his best friend to the hospital for Christ’s sake!”

         “Kim what the hell?” Kel boomed at the laughing girl.

         “You should have seen the look on that psycho’s face!” She responded as she kept laughing at her own sick joke, no wonder their gang had such a bad reputation.

         Kel gave up arguing with her before he had the chance to and dragged Basil by the hand out of the room, finally finding a trash can to deposit their drinks and chase after Sunny.

         Kim smirked, their plan had gone so much better than anyone could have expected. She summoned the others and they chased after Aubrey together to celebrate their victory, though Charlie and Vance seemed a little uneasy.

        Just like that he was gone, Sunny disappeared into the endless and miserable night like the dove in a magic trick. Aubrey found no sign of him anywhere, shaken at how fast he ran away from the school; panting heavily as she finally reached their neighborhood. It wasn’t exactly a long distance, just enough to be inconvenient to walk to, even though you didn’t even have to cross any main roads to reach it.

         “Sunny! Sunny please come back! I didn’t…” Why would he believe her? What amount of trust should he have left in her heart after a stunt like that? She flailed herself about while using her knees as crutches for her aching body. “I wasn’t a part of that! Sunny!?”

         Aubrey’s parched throat began to claw away at itself with every sound which boomed out of it. Her shouts echoed about the trees and across the entire neighborhood, she didn’t care if everyone heard her. She’d take just about any amount of shame if it meant a chance to talk things out with him.

         “Please… Please just be okay…”

         Her legs began to falter even more, perhaps due to the fact that she’d been counting on eating at the prom before things immediately went in the worst direction possible. Sunny probably didn’t eat either; how could he have gone so far? Did she pass him already? Was he in the school bathroom the whole time?

         No, she definitely heard the doors close, even occasional footsteps from ahead of her. Technically he could be anywhere, but this was her only real lead.

         Meanwhile Kel and Basil raced off after the two of them, Kel dialing up his brother along the way. After a few seconds Hero surprisingly picked up the phone surprisingly enough.    

         “Hey Kel, what’s up? Something happen?”

         The chatter of a crowd filled the background of the phone call, people chanting; definitely some kind of party even though Hero wasn’t one for those. Kel’s heavy panting must have come through on Hero’s end as well.

         “Hero! It’s about Sunny and Aubrey, she-”

         “Oh that’s great, tell them I was confident in them becoming king and queen. I wish I could have been there but-”

         “Aubrey humiliated him in front of the entire school and he ran away.”

         “Excuse me what?”

         “It must have been some kind of plan from the start, Kim told the entire school she was faking it, and Sunny ran away, he’s not picking up my calls.”

         “I’m on my way.”

         Hero immediately hung up on his brother, leaving the two of them to continue their mad dash down the street, Kel pulling Basil along by the wrist like a kid dragging around a giant stuffed animal.

         Eventually they spotted Aubrey, pouting heavily with her hands resting on her knees. She frantically looked around, eventually noticing them and backing away in fear for what may have been the first time ever for someone like her.

         “There you are! What the hell is your problem Aubrey, I thought we were all friends? When will you decide to grow the fuck up for once?”

         She looked up at the intimidating mass in front of him, the immensely tall basketball player towering like a skyscraper, bearing a heated expression on his face as he stared down at her.

         “It’s not like that I-”

         “I’m not gonna listen anymore to your excuses Aubrey, look what you did to him!”

         Basil nervously chimed in, “Kel we don’t have time for this. Come on, we have to keep going.” The timid boy tugged at his friend’s sleeve as he did so to beckon him away.

         Kel hesitated, looking between the two of them before siding with Basil and dragging him off down the sidewalk, giving her a final remark that was made to cause her blood to boil. “What would Mari think of what you’ve become?”

         Aubrey remained still, completely unable to keep going as her stomach tore itself apart looking for energy, staring scornfully at the bottom of her sweat covered teal dress.

         This was all her fault. She blew it. She’d ruined everything, every last chance they had at getting over this together. They were both so happy with one another and she tore it all apart. He probably wouldn’t even come back to Faraway ever again, and that was if he didn’t do something awful to himself first.

         The hooligans eventually caught up with her as well, slowing down when they eventually reached their exhausted friend. Vance was lagging quite a bit behind, Charlie trailing even further.

         Kim was the first to speak up, still giddy from things going so unpredictably well. “Godammit Aubrey, why’d you have to go so far chasing after em’? Did he run from you that fast?”

         “I must admit, even I was proud of your impeccable performances, although I wish I could have been the one to do the honors.” Mikael added in, performing his signature hair flick for all the world to see.

         Aubrey gritted her teeth like a mad bear, shaking her clenched fist by her side. What she felt wasn’t hatred or any form of rage it seemed. She couldn’t process any of it. The scenery around her was getting blurrier by the minute as worries danced mockingly around her head. She was stressed out.

         “Shut the hell up, both of you.” She muttered, sending Mikael out of his delusional state and sparking a surprised reaction from Kim.

         “Hey Aubrey, you alright?” The satisfied schemer responded, not having fully understood the gravity of what she’d just done. She approached Aubrey, positioning herself in front of her line of sight. “You’re looking a little red. I take it you at least managed to give him a piece of your mind?”

         A brief silence followed as Aubrey twitched her fist against her side until she finally caved in, driving it straight into Kim’s puzzled face. Vance gasped and ran over to Aubrey, restraining her from going any further by gripping her arms behind her back.

         The pink haired former delinquent showed everyone the tears streaking down her distraught face, slimy mucus dripping down from her nostrils like goo. “You just don’t get it do you! You never understand how I feel! Never think about how I’ve felt about all this! How he’s felt about all this!”

         She began to cough up, her throat dry from having nothing to drink for so long and wailing amidst a search that wouldn’t end. Even still her crazed emotions drove her forward somehow, despite everything else inside of her pleading to stop.

         Kim finally came to realize what had been going on the entire time, completely dazed and somewhat betrayed by finding out she had actually fallen in love with him. “You’re kidding aren’t you?” What sounded like a sneering laugh erupted from her briefly, “That freak? He abandoned you Aubrey, you said he took away your best friend and-”

         “JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!”

         Somehow she managed to squirm herself from Vance’s allegedly iron grip, perhaps only due to the greasy sweat enveloping them both. Once again she rushed at Kim, whose nose had begun to bleed after the first punch, flinging herself almost lazily onto her.

         The entire movement was a poor attempt to push her away, Kim standing completely firm and flabbergasted as Aubrey only ended up tripping herself. She collapsed, sitting with her legs to her side and her hands clawing themselves deep into her broken face.

         The hooligans shared a few glances around, Mikael being the only one left confused by the end of it, perhaps still somehow unaware of the situation at hand.

         Kim had a nasty side to her, but she still cared deeply about her family in the hooligans, especially so Aubrey, the most scarred of them since the beginning. Despite how much she found herself reveling in the ecstasy of tormenting him like she did most others who shunned their ways, she could tell she urgently owed Aubrey an apology, and Sunny too for that matter, if he’d even accept it.

         “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you two had-”

         “I told you to just leave me alone already! I don’t want to see any of you ever again!”

         Was that too far? She couldn’t tell at this point, simply verbalizing the many intrusive thoughts plaguing her mind that she had no clue how to deal with. This was getting nowhere, she needed to find Sunny fast.

         Shakily she stood herself up as the hooligans behind her seemed to gasp. Even after just a single step she nearly tumbled over again, his time caught by Kim from behind her.

         “LET GO OF ME!” She screamed trying to break free, struggling like a wild animal caught in a trap.

         “Aubrey you can’t even walk right now, you need to get home.”

         “I’m not going home until I know he’s alright! Now let go of me!”

         “Aubrey!” Kim relented to her friend’s wishes, putting on her responsible attitude for the first time in quite a while. “Fine. But you’re not going anywhere until you’ve at least had something to eat. I’ll stay here and help, Vance I need you to grab something for her from home. Charlie, check Basil’s house, back window to the right and see if he’s in there. It’s across the street from where Aubrey lives. Mikael, make sure Kel and his friends don’t get in Charlie’s way.”

         Aubrey stopped fighting her friend’s grip on her, swallowing the tears that had fallen all the way down into her mouth.

         She gave her final order before they all split up. “We’ll be at the park, meet back up as soon as you can.”

         “What… why are you…”

         “Just leave it to me okay? I should have seen this coming honestly, you’re nasty sometimes but you’re too pure at heart for this stuff. We’ll get your boyfriend back safe and sound, but we gotta make sure you’re okay first.”

         Kim took a hold of her friend, locking their shoulders together as they advanced their way down the street. She could tell Aubrey still despised her, obvious by the look on her face and that she didn’t even gaze once in her direction. She’d do everything she could to regain her trust once this was all over.

         “You’re telling me he isn’t in his room?”

         Charlie shook his head in response as Kim sighed, going through any possible locations in her mind. She’d already taken a look at the hangout spot while leaving Aubrey to rest on the swings under Vance’s supervision as she ate.

         Somehow the girl hadn’t brightened up in the slightest. Her mood had gone done a bit, but even still she cried. It couldn’t click in Kim’s head at all why she’d be so worried over that boy, but she’d do anything to help her friend right now.

         “I heard a few people trying to talk through his door too.” Mikael decided to actually make himself useful, aware of how dire the situation had become. Even he could be serious when it was needed. “They must be trying to get to him before we can.”

         “It may only be a matter of time before they notice. Any other ideas?”

         Suddenly Kim turned around to see Vance panicking as Aubrey got up from the swings with a determined look consuming her distraught face. Both were clashing, but everyone knew she was considered strong for a reason.

         He said they fixed up the treehouse. He’s uncomfortable anywhere that isn’t his old home. He’s gotta be in either.

         She began to press forward, ignoring Vance’s stammering. She’d had enough to eat, in fact it was concerning that Sunny likely hadn’t eaten at all. She wasn’t capable of waiting any longer too knowing what he must be going though.

         The entire time she’d been trying to distract herself from the thought of if he’d ended up taking his life, or already had done so. Perhaps reading through the sketchbook was a little too much insight, so much that the things he wrote in there never stopped badgering her, but it also might end up being her greatest hope of what was to come if he was actually there.

         “Aubrey, wait up! Let me go with you at least.”

         “I’m going alone Kim, thank you, but…”

         “I get it. Don’t push yourself too hard alright? You better come back.”

         Kim held out her hand for a fist bump like they’d always done, worried that she might be too distressed to reciprocate. After a moment of hesitation, Aubrey returned it laxly, before storming off down the street. She’d check the treehouse first. Even if she had to walk by the stump, a painful reminder of both of their suffering.

         I’m not letting you go through all of this alone anymore Sunny.

            In the midst of the worst night of her life, she stopped just in front of the rickety ladder to the strangely furnished treehouse, steeling herself for the absolute worst, a hell that she doubtless deserved. She’d be lucky quite frankly if Sunny was even alive right now, let alone willing to open the door. If he didn’t she’d just have to wait outside for him. She’d make it up to him no matter what.

         The grass cackled underneath her fancy shoes, glistening in the moonlight like an ethereal trail, her dress blowing with the slight wind like she was a ghost. Bothersome crickets chirped, oblivious to the tension suffocating the air itself tonight. She steadied her vehemently beating heart as well as she could before shakily ascending the creaky ladder, alerting to the boy inside she was here and wasn’t going to leave him alone.

         Her hand lingered on the chilly doorknob, sweating and shaking more than she’d ever felt. The other side of this door would lead to suffering, but she had to do it, for any chance at life either of them had left.

         She slowly opened the door.

         She peeked inside the dark room.

         She gasped.

         The shine of a knife laying on the table haunted her, an open cabinet drawer showing where it must have come from, thank goodness it was clean.

         “Sunny?”

         She studied the room until in the corner opposite of her, she noticed the one she’d been searching for, huddled up in a ball, sobbing uncontrollably into his suit with his head up against his knees. He breathed in and out through a stuffy nose like he had just escaped being submerged in water, coming out gasping for air.

         The boy shot his head up and attempted to crawl further back until he remembered that he was already as far from her as possible after slamming his head frantically against the wall, along with the rest of his slack limbs. She locked eyes with his own, the other still under the eyepatch, blood red.

         He lunged forward and swiped the knife, his only leverage in the situation to come, much to Aubrey’s distress, before retreating back into the corner, clutching the shimmering, bloodthirsty blade close to his chest like a prized possession.

         “Sunny please put the knife down… I came to apologize for what Kim said. It wasn’t true. Any of it.”

         The crying boy struggled to let any words escape his parched mouth, only the slight chuckles let out from his mourning and failures to properly breathe. He rubbed his cheek comfortingly against the side of the knife opposite the blade, finding the urge to end it all more and more irresistible. Startled when she noticed his movements the same as when he’d rub his own head against hers.

         It played out in his mind like another of his fantasies, he could see it all so clearly, images of the knife plunging itself deep into his chest, Aubrey’s blurred reaction switching between one of fright, and the other who satisfied to see him take his life like he should have in the first place.

         He stared the distressed pink girl down from his corner of the room, still trying his best to conceal his face behind his knees. She still found herself frozen in place, unable to approach out of fear that it would be her greatest mistake yet. She might even be better off leaving him alone at this rate if he was that horrified of her.

         “Sunny please just listen to me alright? Everything is going to be okay.”

         She tested the waters and tapped her foot slightly closer in an attempt to creep up to him, seeing as him brandishing that knife to his chest was an unbearable sight.

         “Please just…” His wretched, awful sounding voice muttered, he seemed even worse than the day he confessed the truth, “leave me alone.”

         “I” She hesitated, wondering if her nagging was the right move, she’d only have one shot at this, one shot to make things right. Knowing her she’d just blow it again. “I don’t think I can do that Sunny. I don’t want to see you like this.”

         “Then just… don’t look.” He muttered that line with a confidence he only exhibited within his own daydreams, seeing as this had somehow gone like one so far. Maybe it was.

         She felt the words escape her mouth without permission, beaming at him. “I don’t know if you just can’t see it or not, but that isn’t how it works Sunny, I care about you, we all do, whether you’re in the same room as us or not.” It wasn’t perfect, far from it, but it was a start.

         “No. I don’t matter to you like that. You’d all just… be better off without me.” His voice began to retreat, seeing as her retort was more structured and effective compared to the lines in his fantasies, only used to set up his own thoughts, a foil rather than what they might actually say.

         “Sunny, you’re valuable to all of us, and no one else can replace you. What would Mari think if she heard that?”

         Aubrey thought she would be getting somewhere by bringing her up, knowing that Mari meant everything to him gave her confidence that he’d think the same.

         “No. For four years I didn’t matter to you guys at all. Kel just said hello because I was moving away. You don’t need me at all. So why do you think that?”

         Things hadn’t gotten out of hand yet, his thoughts remained in parallel with what was written in the sketchbook. Maybe just a little more and she’d be able to calm him down.

         She paused to contemplate his words, trying her best not to take too much time. “Is that really what you think? We’ve been over this, we were all so caught up dealing with things in our own ways. And about what you just said there, I don’t think I could live without you. Things… wouldn’t feel right at all. I know that now I-”

         The tear stained, raven haired boy shot up as his voice exploded, he pressed his hands against his ears as if to block out some vile ringing that he may have heard. He sniffled, his nostrils bloated with mucus crawling out of them. Blood red eye revealed itself again through the crevasses left in-between tendrils of shaggy hair.

         “No! That’s not true!” He gasped for air as he struggled to continue his yelling. Aubrey had never seen anything like this, much less suspected that he of all people would be capable of such emotion. “You just… think that is all. If I was never born from the start, you would never have felt that way. You don’t, need me at all.”

         “Sunny, whatever’s gotten into you please just drop it okay?” She had to admit his question was difficult to ponder, how things would be if he never existed, would she be happy? No, if she kept thinking that she might end up in the same state, she just had to get Sunny out of it somehow. “If you think you mean nothing to me then think again. Where would I be if it wasn’t for you? On your birthday back then, no one else noticed I was starving. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t even be here right now!”

She whimpered, sniffling and bawling like her life depended on it.

“So please just let go of all of this, let go of that knife and tell me what’s hurting you okay? We can fix this together, I know we can…”

         “Why…” He backed himself further into the wall away from her as she approached, terrified of her now, that she acted so much differently than he could have ever imagined. “Why can’t things just be like I wanted them to?”

         They were both stressed out, he could tell. His head throbbed with each rapid beat of his unstable heart, the pain feeling like a slice form a burning knife straight along his forehead each time. He couldn’t think. He could hardly do anything to keep his eyes open, to stop his body from falling limp completely.

         This was the most expressive Sunny had ever gotten, and it was an appalling sight.

         It only hit her then what he must have meant by that, the idea that this suicidal thoughts must have played out like this, him giving some bold speech about why he should die. How is she supposed to deal with this? Was everything she said so far part of some kind of plan?

         “Sunny your thoughts, they aren’t you. I know you’re in there Sunny, I know you can still hear me. I’ll tie you up to a chair if that’s what it takes to stop you from doing this to yourself.”

         Nothing made sense to say at this point, she just had to go every second praying that he’d put the knife down. It had reached the point where she could hardly take it anymore, the two stood on opposite sides of the wooden table in the center of the room, while Aubrey focused completely on the boy and his menacing blade, his eyes shifted all around the room as they searched every inch of it, seeking something she didn’t understand.

         “You can’t do this to me. Not now… please. Stop it.” He bawled higher than his feeble lungs were meant to go, “Stop it. Stop it!” Mucus propelled itself from all over his teary face as he coughed viciously due to his exertion.

         Aubrey took this as her only chance to secure the knife away from him, barreling over the table, which tore at her dress when it had managed to catch the corner of it, and reaching her hand out in hopes of snatching it.

         Sunny anxiously reeled back, his body first, but when his hands followed they both heard the noise of the blade shearing her skin, before Sunny hastily retracted it back towards him. Her blood covered the edge of the knife, starving for even more, he watched in fright; the blood almost forming a hungering smile on the side of the metal.

         “I-I-I’m sorry! I-” He blurted out as his anxiety spiraled even further out of control. He had just cut her, cut Aubrey. Again. She shuddered from the pain, reeling back as well and covering up the wound, which spanned all the way across the palm of her hand like the shape of a rubber band wrapped loosely around it.

         Her immediate solution was to tear the dress up even further where it had already been ripped by the table, and patch herself up with it. The wound continued to sting as if the blade itself were still there, feeling as if a piece of metal wire were wrapped forcefully around that half of her hand, vibrating as it danced deeper in.

         “Its fine, I’m alright.” She made sure not to break eye contact as she patched herself up, even more afraid he’d take his life now, although just about every distressing thing that could happen, related or not, would lead to that thought.

         Blood still dripped from the wound rhythmically like the ticking of a clock, paired with the situation at hand made things eerily worse for the two of them inside of the dark treehouse.

         “It’s okay Sunny, everything is going to be okay. I’m not here to hurt you…”

         She battled to stop the tears from flooding her eyes and clouding her vision again, how horrified she was at the thought of Sunny ending his life here. If there truly was a God out there, would he give her a second chance? Give Sunny a second chance?

         Everything is going to be okay.  

         A phrase which echoed around the inner walls of Sunny mind hellscape, reminding him of times he wished dearly to forget. The light footsteps of a monochromatic boy approached behind him, appearing from the darkness in a room covered creepily in bulgy white eyes following his every move, and inky black cobwebs and tentacles looming in the shadows and the crevasses of the floorboards.

         Tick tock.

         Tick tock.

         The echo of the droplets of blood continued on. A timer, for when he’d end up hurting someone else again. The reason he needed to stay away from people. Whenever they tried to get close, he’d only hurt them.

         And they kept trying to get close to him.

         His existence itself was corrupting, lethal.

         He felt Omori’s heatless hand place itself on his shoulder, ticking him like a spider running around on it, and observed as the white hand found its way over to the knife and onto Sunny’s hands, urging him to tilt the blade towards his chest.

         Do it Sunny, things will be better once you do. She’ll move on. She’ll forget you. They all will. They’ll stop hurting themselves for you.

         Tick tock.

         Another drop of blood.

         “Sunny don’t!” She screamed, still tentative to get close, it didn’t seem like he was going to do it just yet, there may still be time to coax the boy out of it. If she got any closer, would he do it? How long would he be hesitating on it?

         “All I do is hurt you Aubrey, don’t you see? Why doesn’t anyone see?!” The knife shook its way closer to being aimed directly for his heart, his voice began to tremble and shake. He shook as well, both out of dread for what he was finally about to do, and out of unremitting exhaustion, his lightheadedness consuming more and more of him.

         Was he really about to do it? After being so passive for so long, was it finally time?

         He tried to calm down, maybe he could think this through.

         Your head keeps spinning, every thought leads to nowhere but more suffering. The noise is too much to block out.

         “It was an accident, you didn’t mean it. My cut will heal Sunny, don’t do what you’re about to do. You’ll never come back from that.”

         Her only option was to rely on using his own fear of death -another thing inside of the demented sketchbook- the idea of change like that. If she could at least stabilize him now there would be a chance.

         Still, none of her words reached the boy, he was already too far gone, isolated in his own world of endlessly stretching darkness. He saw himself inside his head, situated in an endless black space; curled up with his knees against his chest, his hands pressed over his ears. He glared fearfully into the eyes of a bloodied version of himself, with glowing red eyes returning his gaze, the side of himself that he hid from, who he must have been at heart.

         He attempted to persist, but nausea overwhelmed him, pushing him around like a barrel in a raging sea.

         His body wanted to give in, it was giving in. He was afraid of passing out, he’d rather stab himself before that could happen.

         He had to do it. For their sake. So they wouldn’t have to be burdened anymore by their suffocating addiction to him, even though he was hurting them so much.

         They’d never understand. Not even her.

         Aubrey understood what must have occurred during his contemplation and rushed at him again before he could plunge the knife into his chest, knowing that his reactions wouldn’t be very quick.

         “Please. Forget about me.”

         She leapt over the table again, locking her arm around the one which held the knife, and slamming the two of them against the rug and the wooden floor, the impact of which dislodged the bloodied knife from his fingers.

         She finally had him, even if it took pinning him to the floor to do so. He didn’t stop however, wrestling for a way out like a cornered animal. She did her best to subdue him, immobilizing his arms by pushing all of her weight onto them so that he couldn’t grab the knife nor escape.

         She wasn’t sure how long she’d have to hold him down like this, but she was willing to do it the entire night if that was what it took.

         “Stop struggling. I know you’re scared. I’m scared too but…” She muttered, tears escaping her eyes again and crashing against his own horrified face, “please just trust me on this one okay? I’m here for you. Everything is going to be okay.”

         Please stop saying that.

         Like an instinctive reaction to that phrase, he began fumbling around to escape. Tendrils of hair in the darkness wrapped around his face like the vines of his nightmarish delusions, draping themselves in whatever they could find. He coughed to get some of them out of his mouth, they were everywhere.

         Her stare haunted him, what was going on at this point? Did he even believe her? Why couldn’t he believe her? Should he believe her?

         His thoughts isolated themselves from him, leaving him clueless, still alone with that blooding ragdoll towering over him inside of the void within his mind, muttering words that had lost their meaning on him they’d been used so many times.

         Murderer. Monster. Worthless. Killer. Freak.

         He kept struggling, now kicking to get her off of him. The eyes, her black inky face with two glowing white eyes, the eyes of something, peering at him, commanding him to stop struggling and succumb.

         He’d had too much, he couldn’t take it. His thoughts wouldn’t listen at all. His body wouldn’t listen at all. He felt the harsh restraints clamping themselves around his arms, panicking him even further.

         I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

         His head spiraled out of control, resulting in his legs flailing about as he gasped for air.

         He couldn’t breathe.

         Why couldn’t he breathe?

         Aubrey felt his knee plunge itself into her gut, knocking her off of him for long enough that he could squirm free and grab his object of safety once again, that horrifying bloodied knife hungering for more.

         Look at what you’ve done to her. You hurt her again. You should just die.

         What was he doing at this point?

         He didn’t want to understand. He didn’t want to think. He wanted it all too just stop. All the chaos, all the noise. Everything.

         His heart pounded out of his chest like the sound of someone banging their fist against a door.

         Please just let it all end.

         “Sunny don’t!” She shot up as quickly as she could, resulting in him picking himself up off the floor and fleeing to the other side of the room once again.

         He was sprinting. He was exhausted.

         His body collapsed under him, along with the knife. Sunny felt his feet slip out, not meeting the floor, his face drawing nearer to it. He was plummeting. Straight into the floor, with the side of the blade lined up with his stomach, not even debating turning it around.

         Everything paused for both of them in that grim moment, she raced over to stop him, but she was too late.

         He crashed against the floor, accustomed by the sound of the blade piercing and tearing its way through his skin.

         His limp body bounced against the floor, he recoiled before his limps became slightly more slack and lifeless.

         A tiny pool of blood began to form on the ground below him, trickling through the lines between the planks of wood and down to the grass below the treehouse.

         Startled she raced over to the horrifying sight, turning him towards her as she clutched his unmoving body in her arms, his blood trailing its way all over her tattered teal dress.

         Horrified, she looked at where the knife had gone, plunged sideways into his stomach. He coughed up violently, spewing drops of blood around the two of them, throwing his hand over his mouth to attempt to cover it all up.

         “Sunny! Please stay with me okay? J-Just let me try and…”

         Sunny meekly tapped her on the arm, the life draining out of him more and more as she struggled to recall what to do in this type of a situation. He then pointed towards a stack of papers she hadn’t noticed earlier, folded up with names written on the outsides, including one with her own name written on it.

         Why? Why won’t you listen to me Sunny? I’m here for you. Just please let me help you.

         “I’m not letting you die here Sunny, just please work with me okay?”

         Applying pressure to the abdomen might only make things worse, but what else could she do to stop the bleeding?

         She laid him down flat, he didn’t resist at all; just staring blankly into her eyes as his own began to twitch rapidly. Eventually every part of his body went completely limp.

         “I… sorry.”

         “Sunny! Sunny!”

         Sunny awoke, standing in an endless white void, with a faint yellow light emitting from ahead of him. A ghostly pale dress flicked in the wind, long strands of elegant black hair along with them. The dim lights bounced off her figure creating a shadow.

         He somberly paced towards the angelic figure as she swayed in his direction, their eyes meeting. As soon as they did he froze up completely, a cold shiver tingling through him.

         “Mari I’m finally… here too.”

         “You shouldn’t be.”

         Part of him felt betrayed, even though he knew this would never have been what Mari would say she wanted from him. For some reason even she wouldn’t understand why he felt the way he did in the end. Even when surrounded by his closest friends, he felt so very alone all the time.

         “I-I’m sorry.”

         “Those words shouldn’t be for me.”

         She stepped over to him with grace exuded in every step, vibrating the floor like a droplet of rain landing on a still lake of pure water, reflecting the serene white imagery like a mirror.

         Her mouth opened again, her tranquil voice sounded like gentle music notes.

         “Is this really what you want?”

         He stood completely still, looking down at the pale ground.

         “It’s okay to cry Sunny, and it’s okay to let others know how you’re feeling. But, it’s not okay to give up. Especially not when they all believe in you. You know that Aubrey didn’t mean any of that, that’s why she came to help you. Hero doesn’t resent you either. None of them do.”

         “Then why do I feel so alone?”

         “I don’t know. And, I’m not always going to be able to give you the answers you’re looking for. But, do you want to feel that way?”

         He quietly pondered it, he needed to be alone sometimes, but that’s not what he meant. Sometimes he knew that deep down he wanted to continue feeling like no one would care about him. But when it became clear that they did, he looked for reasons why it was all wrong. No matter what, his mind wouldn’t accept it.

         “I have to go now Sunny. You can’t stay here either. There’s someone out there who needs you. And, I hope I’m not asking too much too soon but, please cherish yourself, not just for me, but for them as well. Even if things are sad right now, your life, your memories, they’re gifts.

         And, it’s never too late to start over and try again.”

         Mari gave him one last smile, chockfull with all the tenderness and warmth as ever, making it all the more bittersweet when she stepped away, dancing in the wind until she faded out of sight. Her footsteps painting an ethereal trail before they faded away too into glistening sparkles of light, spiraling upwards like a great pyre.

         “I love you, Sunny. But don’t forget that you have to love yourself too. Farwell again, little brother.”

         He open his eyes, awakening to see the treehouse once more. Aubrey draped her hair over his body, slumped down, still bawling a storm. Her hands were clasping both ends of the wound shut to slow the bleeding. He heard a blurred squeal at the top of her mourning lungs, crying for help.

         How long do you intend to let her suffer like that? 

         I…

         He shakily attempted to reach into his back pocket   , Aubrey noticed almost immediately.

         “Sunny please hold still. I’ll find some way to get help… just please…”

         He slowly reeled his hand out, unsteadily grasping his phone and lifting it up towards her hoping she’d understand.

         Her agitated expression was replaced quickly with one bearing a light hint of hope as she quickly snatched it with one of her hands, making sure the other was still locking the wound shut.

         Perhaps he’d overexerted himself already, seeing as he felt like closing his eyes yet again as the buzzing sounds of her frantically typing in the numbers on the keypad echoed about the room.

         The treehouse almost seemed to appear a shade brighter than it had been, even though that made no sense. Barely able to remain conscious while she was desperately calling emergency services. After a little while she hung up and set the phone down.

         He noticed the open piece of paper that he’d addressed to her, one of a set of suicide notes addressed to everyone he was close with. The one gave to her was the most important to him, even if it hopefully wouldn’t matter now. He could recall the words he wrote in there for her as well.

         I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I shouldn’t have caused you all that pain. I should have known you hated me from the start. I think, I just got too excited. Kim was right, I’m a monster. All I did was hurt you, I shouldn’t have expected everything in return.

         Even if all of those moments were fake, they were real to me. I know it probably sounds disgusting to you, but I actually enjoyed out time together, even if it was all a trick to get back at me. I guess I’m just that hopeless that something so trivial meant the world to me. But I was wrong for thinking someone could love me. I realize that now. I’m probably just ranting. I know I should be forgotten about, but part of me wants to be remembered. I’m so selfish. I’m sorry.

         I’m sorry for everything I did to hurt you. Hopefully I made things up to you. I told Basil to give you the money I’d saved up like I was going to originally. I’m sorry things were so bad for you at home.

         I hope I made things better by doing this.

         Goodbye,

         Sunny

         The feeling he felt all of the sudden, he couldn’t seem to describe it. The same one as when he woke up at the hospital, just before admitting the truth to everyone.

         Determined to start anew yet again, because things weren’t working out like this. Because even though he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do, he had to persist through it and not give up.

         That compelling feeling that he’d learn from his mistakes and try again, as many times as it would take until things got better.

         And the blissful feeling, that even though it would be hard, and even though all of the pain might remain…

         That she’d be there.

         By his side though it all.

         Just like she was now, crying over what he’d perhaps foolishly tried to do.

         Through her veil of tears, she muttered the last words he heard before passing out again.

         “Thank you.”

         They stood face to face, both with cheery expressions for once, in an endlessly expanding room decorated like the calming blue sky. Clouds both below their feet and all around them, her bright pink hair swaying with a wind that wasn’t even there. The soft sound of a violin playing in the distance, wherever it was.

         “You… need me after all?” His voice felt lighter than air as he spoke, like the air he breathed was filled with more warmth than his heart would ever muster.

         “You know, a flower growing around a fence isn’t that bad. It’s nice… to need someone… and to lean on them. And… I think that you’re a cute little flower too you know! By leaning on each other like that, maybe we can grow higher than we would alone.”

         “But, why is it me then? Why… after everything I’ve done… do I have to be the one you grow with? Haven’t I… made things hard enough on you?”

         “Maybe you won’t really know until you look at yourself like I do, then you’ll see how amazing you are. You’re really putting me on the spot to list stuff like that when I can go on about so much. The way your ears turn red when you blush. The odd way that you write the letter “g”. The way you never seem to be troubled as long as you’re helping someone out. No matter what, you’re you, your own person. Even if all those things don’t really sound amazing, they’re a part of you. And that makes them precious to me.”

         She took a deep breath as her expression softened even more.

         “Thank you, for being there for me Sunny.”

         No, thank you. For everything.

         He could feel his breathing slowly begin to steady as his eyes opened to the blinding yet comfortingly familiar white light of a hospital room.