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It had been 3 weeks since he’s seen her, his dearest friend who had recently become his wife. He simply couldn’t bear it any longer, so he decided to break his fast with her. They weren’t in love with each other, but they cared for each other and have only gotten closer since they’d been married, both emotionally and physically. He wasn’t ready to forgive her for everything she did as Lady Whistledown, but he was prepared to hear her reasoning. Or at least he would be had she been down here at the usual time, well over an hour ago. Colin’s well known love of food also had a downside, if he didn’t eat at his usual times he was very unpleasant to be around. Colin could feel himself getting irrationally worked up, and thought that it would be best to call upon a maid to go fetch Penelope and hurry her along.
“Yes, Mr.Bridgerton?” Asked the young maid as she curtsied. Colin recognized her as one of the ones Pen took a special liking to.
“Would you go fetch Penelope for me please?” He replied, quickly turning back to the book he had been reading while waiting to eat. He only looked back up when he realized that the maid hadn’t moved.
“Well…uh. You see Mr.Bridgerton, Mrs.Bridgerton has asked us not to prepare her any meals or wake her for the past week. She’s only been having a small tea and waking for a few hours a day,” the maid said when Colin looked at her.
“And why, in God’s name, would she do that?” Colin frantically asked. It wasn’t like Pen to not eat, and she often didn’t sleep much longer than Colin.
“She has been saying that she does not feel well. It is most peculiar, especially considering that when she does eat it usually contains milk, which should upset her stomach more. I told her that it could make her worse, but she just insisted that she had to have it,” she explained, probably with less decorum than she should have, but Colin honestly could not have cared less after hearing that his wife, his Pen, was sick. He unconsciously made the decision to start running towards his wife’s room.
When he got there, he was caught off guard when his wife, who typically looked like the most precious angel while sleeping, was red and panting in her sleep. He rushed to her window and opened it, hoping that it could help alleviate some of her discomfort. After he was done, he went over to her bed(which he had spent most of his nights in for the past few months) and tried to wake her.
“Pen, darling, you need to get up,” Colin said while rubbing up and down her arm. She had calmed down, but was still slightly flushed. He was hit by how beautiful she truly was. Her silky hair, adorable freckles, soft body, and bright eyes were more than enough to bring him to his knees every night(and day if he was honest with himself). How had he gone three weeks without worshipping her? Colin had no idea, but he knew that he could never let it happen again; however, unfortunately, he had much more important things to deal with right now. Penelope wasn’t even stirring as he tried to wake her.
“Has the doctor been by to see her at all?” Colin asked the maid, having just realized that she had followed him.
“No, sorry sir. She told us not to.” This didn’t make any sense to Colin, why hadn’t she called a doctor? An awful thought occurred to him, what if she thought he wouldn’t let her? They haven’t been speaking, but surely she didn’t believe that he would endanger her health. The very thought almost made him reach for a chamber pot. No, her thinking like that wouldn’t do.
“Please send for a doctor, and hurry!” Colin ordered the maid. He would apologize for raising his voice later, when Pen was feeling better. She had started shivering, probably because of the open window, but Colin didn’t want to close it yet in case she became too hot again. This left him with one very sensible option, getting into bed and holding his sick wife.
As soon as he got under the covers, Pen was burying herself into his warm chest. He gave her a quick peck on her forehead to ensure that she didn’t have a fever, and then settled down with the intent of taking a short nap while waiting for either her to wake up or the doctor to come.
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He had been laying there for 4 hours. Pen still showed no signs of waking anytime soon and the doctor won’t be here for a few more hours. Evidently, it was a big day for illnesses in Mayfair. To make matters worse, he found himself unable to sleep. How could he when his Pen could be seriously ill and she hadn’t even thought to tell? What if she thought that he wouldn’t care? He didn’t know if he could live with himself if that were the case. Colin felt like he couldn’t wait any longer for an answer, so he ordered some tea and decided to try to wake Penelope up again.
“Come on, Pen, it is time to wake up,” Colin said while leaving kisses all over her head and face.
“I require a few more moments. I am afraid that I am not feeling well,” Penelope murmured, burrowing deeper into his chest.
“I know,” he sighed, “but you have to at least try to eat something, and I hoped to talk about something.”
“We can talk about Whistledown, but I am not up to eating anything currently.”
“Have you been sick after eating this past week?” Colin asked, concerned that she hasn’t been eating at all.
“No. I never get sick, but eating is not an enjoyable task,” she replied.
“While it might not be an enjoyable task, it is certainly a necessary one. Marie said that you have wanted milk. I will make sure you have more than you could possibly desire, but only if you have some biscuits and beef as well,” Colin commanded. His stern features transformed into a grin as Penelope, still pouting, slowly nodded her head. He is slightly confused as to why her agreeing to eat has made him so relieved. Sure, if anyone he cared about was agreeing to eat while sick, he would be happy; however, this felt different. He felt as though he could sob as a huge weight lifted off his chest that he hadn’t even known was there. There was no time to analyze it now, though. He had to get the food before she changed her mind.
“Excellent! Let me just ring for it!” Colin exclaimed while jumping up from bed. After he’s done, he comes back to continue cuddling with an awake, but obviously tired, Pen.
“Before we talk, can you promise me that you will not finalize your opinion today? I do not believe that I am in the right mind to properly defend myself today,” Penelope requested, playing with the hem of Colin’s nightshirt.
“What do you mean? I wanted to talk about why you did not tell me that you were sick.”
“Oh,” she says, blushing from the tips of her ears to her chest. “I thought you wanted to talk about Whistledown.”
“I do, eventually. I was actually planning on breaking my fast with you for that reason, but you never came. When I asked Marie to fetch you, she informed me of your illness and said it has been going on for a week. Is that right?” He didn’t understand why she was so flustered talking about her illness.
“Yes, but you shouldn’t worry! I am sure it is nothing serious!” She said hastily.
“Of course it is serious, Pen! You can’t eat or stay awake! Even now you can barely keep your eyes open. Please, please, just tell me what is the matter so I can help you!” Colin begged. Penelope seemed like she knows what’s wrong, but how could that be the case if she hasn’t seen the doctor? “The doctor is coming in a few hours to check you over, so I suppose we will know for certain soon,” he said when it became obvious she wasn’t going to answer.
“What?” She yelled looking panicked. “I will not see the doctor! You can’t make me!” She got out before she started sobbing. Colin had no earthly clue what to do with her reaction. Could she just be scared of doctors? As far as he knew, no one she was close to died of an illness, but it might just be a random fear.
“Shh, you will be fine. I’ll be with you the entire time, okay?” He reassured her while stroking her hair.
“No, Colin! You are not listening to me. The doctor won’t be seeing me.” Penelope said, pulling away from him.
“Why not? You must be feeling awful! The doctor can help you feel better, Pen.”
“No, I can’t, Colin.” She said, now hyperventilating. It physically pained Colin to see her this way, but he couldn’t let her endanger her health.
“You will, because I am your husband and I say that you will,” he said, doing his best imitation of Anthony.
“I am my own person, who can make my own decisions, Colin. I don’t know what has gotten into you, but I will not stand for this. I will not be seeing the doctor and that is final!” The speech would have been more empowering had the tears stopped or there had not been snot hanging from her nose, Colin mused.
“Pen,” he sighed, “why must you make this so difficult? I just want you to get better. Can’t you see that?”
“Because when you find out, you’ll hate me even more than you already do! I’m pregnant, Colin! There! Now you can send me away to the country and never see me again!” Well, that certainly wasn’t the answer he was expecting.
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As Colin sat, watching his(pregnant) wife move further away from him and cry into her hands, he knew he should do or say something. Hell, anything would do at this point, but he couldn’t. In fact, he couldn’t do anything besides be shocked by the realization that he loved his wife. He wasn’t sure why it took this news for him to have this epiphany, but it was very inconvenient. He should be comforting his wife, telling her that he could never hate her and he already loves their child(the child he and Pen MADE TOGETHER). But no, here he is watching her and thinking about the times when he wondered what the warmth in his chest was. The time when he was listening to Pen rattle on about her favorite book, or when he watched her sleep in the mornings after he stayed the night in her bed. The memories just kept attacking him, so many that he hadn’t even realized that Pen had gotten up until she stumbled.
“Penelope!” He shouted as jumped out of bed to help steady her. “Are you okay? You really should stay in bed, and I would still like the doctor to check you over. He can offer advice on how to make this easier for you, if nothing else.” Colin said while he carried her bridal style back to bed.
“Colin, please, I need to say bye to my Mama and Eloise before I go.” Colin was concerned about how upset she was, it couldn’t be good for the baby. He moved her into his lap and cradled her as if she were a child, with her head leaning on his shoulder.
“Hey, you’re okay. And you are not allowed to leave me. I don’t know if I could live without you or this child. We made a child, Pen! We made them together! Can you believe it?” He said, a warm smile and tears making their way onto his face at the end.
“You’re happy about this?” She asked, sniffling and pulling back to look at his face. He tried to show through his face how truly ecstatic he was, and he thinks that it worked. She seemed to be calming down.
“Happy? That does not even begin to cover it. I don’t think I’ve felt anything like this before in my life.” He knew he said the right thing when her face lit up and she launched herself back into his chest, squeezing him as hard as he was her.
Just then, a knock came at the door. Their food had arrived, and it might have very well been the first time Colin Bridgerton had ever been upset that food was being placed in front of him.
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After they finished eating, with Colin staying true to his word about letting Penelope drink as much milk as she wanted(much more than she should have), Colin was going to confess his love; however, as soon as he looked over to his wife, he saw her falling asleep sitting up. It was quite the sight, watching his dear Pen closing her eyes and drooping down, only for her to shoot up immediately. He watched her repeat it a few times, but then he started to feel bad. She had already been tired, and their conversation earlier definitely didn’t help. He realized that his talk was going to have to wait.
“Hey, let’s rest for a little bit before the doctor comes.”
“We should talk about Whistledown before we rest.” She replied, but it caused him to laugh because she was already laying back on the pillows
“We will definitely be talking about that, but it can wait,” he told her, pulling her back to his chest. They laid like that for a while, until Colin heard her soft snores. He pulled away and kissed the crown of her head.
“I love you, Lady Whistledown.”