Work Text:
Harry yawned, twisting over in his single bed and opening glowing green eyes to gaze at Draco. Sleep was still mostly a concept that applied to other people, but he didn’t mind it, not on days like today when he got to lay there and watch the early morning light play over Draco’s pale face.
Draco was beautiful. His hair was getting a little longer than Draco liked, so Remus – Professor Lupin – would have to cut it again soon. His pale skin had taken on the faintest tan now that they were free to play outside wherever they wished. The sleeve of Draco’s pyjamas had ridden up a little, revealing the head of the snake-skeleton that Harry had Marked him with five years ago.
Harry was always grateful to have Draco in his life. Draco was his best friend, his only friend for a long time. Harry reached out, brushing a strand of Draco’s hair back behind his ear, and Draco smiled in his sleep. Harry had other friends now – Hermione and Ron were his friends. They were also each other’s girlfriend and boyfriend, and that meant they could hold hands in class and do other things. That was good – Draco had held his hand all the time when they were children, but recently he’d been embarrassed by it. But if Draco was his boyfriend, they could hold hands again.
Harry liked the idea of Draco being his boyfriend. Draco was the most amazing person, and Harry adored him. Hermione had kissed Ron to get him to be her boyfriend, and Seamus had kissed Dean to do the same. Harry smiled, licking his lips nervously. He glanced over to the tank beside the bed, where Snake the snake was curled up, asleep. Draco shuffled a little closer, a quiet sad sound escaping him, and Harry leaned in and brushed their lips together.
Draco was dreaming of the Manor. Those nightmares came less now than they had when he’d been younger, but there were still times he dreamed of it. Of waiting with his mother pacing, knowing she was afraid and not understanding why, and then being dragged forwards before the masked men and shoved to Harry as an offering or a toy.
Harry had barely been human then. The way he had looked at Draco had frightened him. The laughter of the men had frightened him more, and he cowered away from them in his sleep. Some part of him knew this was a dream, but the brand at his elbow ached.
And then something shifted, and he opened his eyes to find Harry less than a breath away, staring at him with the same glowing green gaze that haunted his nightmares. Harry smiled at him and leaned in for another kiss, and Draco could still hear the echo of the men’s laughter.
He brought his hands up, scrambling away and grabbing for his bag that was on the bedside table beside Snake. The moment his fingers closed on his wand he felt a little calmer, even if he knew it was no different from a child grabbing for a teddy bear when faced with the monster under the bed – he was powerless against Harry, he always had been.
“What… what are you…” he stumbled for the words. He could hear Vincent and Greg snoring from their beds, and Theo and Blaise had charmed the hangings around their own beds closed, so there was no one here to help him. Not that they could stop Harry. No one could stop Harry, not if Harry wanted something. Draco could maybe plead and beg, but if Harry was stubborn, nothing would change his mind.
“Draco?” Harry asked, tilting his head to the side a little, a gesture from childhood he’d never shaken off. “Draco, what’s-”
“You kissed me.” Draco knew his voice was higher than it should have been, that a note of hysteria was creeping in. But Harry had kissed him while he was asleep, and he was terrified.
“You should be my boyfriend,” Harry said with that same certainty that he always showed, taking charge, because Harry always got what he wanted. Draco glanced over to the sixth bed in the boys’ dormitory. The one that was officially his, which he had never slept in over the two and a half years they’d been at the school. Harry was looking at him expectantly.
Harry, I brought you a playmate. The Dark Lord had been gone for over three years now, but his voice still sounded so real in Draco’s head.
Draco wanted to run, but there was nowhere he could go. Harry would always find him, always catch him. Harry was faster and stronger, physically and magically, and normally that made him feel safe, but today it made him feel terrified, trapped, helpless.
“I don’t want to be your boyfriend, Harry,” Draco snapped, because the one thing he had was that he was clever, and he didn’t think Harry would force him yet. There might be a day coming where Harry wouldn’t care what Draco wanted, but for now he seemed to listen.
“But then I could hold your hand,” Harry was explaining, as though Draco didn’t know what being his boyfriend would entail.
“I don’t want you pawing all over me, Harry.” Draco could tell his voice was still too high, too panicked. “I don’t want that, but why in Merlin’s name would it matter what I want? I’m Harry’s, and that’s all I bloody well am, isn’t it?”
“Draco-”
“No!” Draco knew he was screaming now and heard Greg’s snore falter. “I don’t want to be your boyfriend.”
“Draco, calm. Deep breaths.” Harry was sitting up, reaching for his wrist, and Draco didn’t try to cast anything against him because he knew it wouldn’t have any effect. Harry’s fingers touched his skin, and he flinched away. He knew Harry was trying to talk him through the breathing exercises Remus made them do when they had nightmares, but he wasn’t upset because of the nightmare - he was upset because he wanted to say no, and he wasn’t sure Harry cared.
“I don’t want to kiss you!” Draco was aware his voice was louder than it should have been. “I don’t want-”
“- you to touch me!” Draco was screaming at Harry, clearly panicked, and Harry didn’t understand because he always held Draco’s hands when he was scared. It always calmed him down.
“It’s okay Draco, you’re safe, you’re-”
“I’m yours, is that it?” Draco stared at him. “Because that’s all that matters, isn’t it? I’m just your bloody pet, and that’s the end of it.” His face twisted into a sneer which made him look ugly. “Draco mine, Draco mine. Well guess what, Harry, I’m not bloody yours!”
Harry didn’t know what to say, he wasn’t sure why Draco was upset, and he had the impulse to grab Draco’s arm and feel his Mark there. He knew he could make Draco be calm, but Remus had said that changing people’s emotions was bad, and the last thing he wanted to do was upset Draco more. “Draco…”
“You sound like a bloody jarvey, Harry. Is that all you can say? No arguments, just sitting there repeating my name.”
“Draco, calm down, it’s okay.”
“Oh yes, hiss hiss, well if you’re trying to scare me it won’t work! I know you speak Parseltongue, Harry.”
“I didn’t mean-”
“Oh of course, you just don’t know how to fucking speak.” Draco glared at him, and he still looked pale. In fact, Harry was getting a little concerned that Draco was going to fall over, given how he was swaying. He reached out to him, and Draco turned and ran.
Harry scrambled after him, watching as he rushed through the Common Room. Harry waved his hand, closing the entrance, and Draco turned back towards him, eyes wide. “Harry, Harry what are you-”
“Sit down,” Harry spoke, then seeing Draco’s expression he tried again. “Sit down, Draco, we can talk-”
“No!” Draco stared at him then at the vanished doorway. “Harry, open the door, now, please…” There was something about his voice that Harry hated. He could see the fear in Draco’s eyes, and it didn’t make sense, but he waved his hand, planning to follow him and keep him safe.
Draco fled out into the corridor, and Harry moved after him, frowning as the door slammed in his face. He pulled it open with a wave of his hand. He was angry now - confused, and hurt, and he wanted to lash out, to explode something. He looked out into the corridor. He knew he could find Draco, but apparently Draco didn’t want to be found. He turned to walk to the Defence Against the Dark Arts Classroom.
Draco was out of breath by the time he reached Severus’s office. He ran in and closed the door, murmuring locking charms which he knew wouldn’t achieve anything. Nothing could keep Harry on one side of a door if he wanted to be on the other side of it.
Severus had been working at his desk, but he was instantly on his feet, sweeping over to Draco.
“What’s wrong, Draco?” Severus asked, and Draco shook his head, trying to fight back tears. It wasn’t long before he lost that battle and started to sob.
Severus drew his wand, layering extra wards over his own and setting some charms to warn if Harry was coming. Then he pulled Draco into his arms, awkwardly enfolding him in his embrace.
“I’m sorry,” Draco whispered.
“Don’t be sorry. I am your godfather. You can always come to me with problems, with whatever you need-”
“It’s…”
“What did that boy do?” Severus asked, and Draco sobbed again and shook his head. He didn’t want to explain it. He didn’t want to make Severus think he was weak or helpless. Severus had been the one to help get him and Harry to safety; he didn’t want to appear pathetic.
Severus’s hand rubbed his back. “Draco, whatever’s happened, you can tell me.” He sounded angry now, and Draco didn’t want to cause problems. “Whatever he’s done, I can sort it-”
“Stay,” Draco whispered. “Please. Stay.” He hated himself for begging, but he didn’t want to be left alone - not after a nightmare, not after Harry.
“I won’t leave you,” Severus promised, and he guided Draco to a comfortable armchair. “You sit down, I’ll send for a house elf to bring you breakfast. You’re safe now. Whatever he did, you’re safe now.”
Harry curled up on Padfoot, sobbing into his fur. He tried to speak, and it kept coming out as Parseltongue.
“Deep breaths, Harry. It’s alright. Just say what you can.” Remus’s voice was gentle and calm, ignoring the chaos that Harry’s arrival had brought to his classroom.
“He hates me!”
Padfoot licked his tears away, nuzzling against him, and Remus frowned sympathetically as he rubbed Padfoot’s leg.
“That boy adores you, Harry-”
“He was so… so angry…” Harry sobbed. “He… he yelled at me for speaking Parseltongue, said I wanted to scare him, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to scare him I-”
“I know, I know,” Remus said, and there was a glass of water pressed into his hands. “Can you talk us through what happened?”
“He hates me,” Harry whispered, scared. Draco was his best friend, had been his best friend since they were both little, and now he’d lost him and it didn’t make any sense. “I just wanted to be able to hold hands…”
“He’s just… he’s just getting a bit older, that’s all. Sometimes affection is embarrassing,” Remus explained. “When I was in Fourth Year, I didn’t let my parents hug me at Kings Cross, and then I ended up writing about five letters home apologising because I missed them…”
Harry managed a damp smile. “I just kissed him, and he got so mad.”
Beneath him, Padfoot turned back to Sirius, frowning. “You kissed Draco?!”
“He was asleep, and he looked really pretty…” Harry mumbled, a bit embarrassed to be telling his parents that. “And then he started yelling that I… that I thought I owned him, but I don’t I just… I just really like him…”
“He’s gone to Snape?” Sirius asked, and he looked angry.
“I think so-”
“I’ll speak to him,” Sirius muttered, but Remus shook his head.
“Give him time.”
“The boy overreacted,” Sirius argued, and Remus glared.
“The boy reacted because he needed to, Sirius. They’re both frightened.”
“But if he’s scared, he needs me,” Harry pointed out, sniffling, and that made Remus look very sad.
“I know, Harry. I know you love that boy, and he loves you too, but he…He’s scared, so going and demanding he speaks to us might make things worse. Just… give him some time, okay?”
“But-”
“You kissed him, and that frightened him, so he was nasty…”
“But Hermione kissed Ron. She didn’t ask, he liked it, and Ron and Hermione don’t sleep in the same bed like Draco and me.”
“I know… I know, Harry…” Remus frowned a little, glancing over at where Sirius was pacing. “You know how Draco doesn’t like the dark, so you have his candle by your bed?”
“Yes?” Harry frowned.
“Well, Sirius and I don’t have a candle by our bed. And that’s okay. But sometimes people need different things. And… like, Ron and Hermione have liked each other for a while.”
“But I’ve liked Draco forever, and he likes me!” Harry protested, because he was sure of that.
“I know. But it’s… it’s like the candle. Some people are okay to be kissed without asking first. Either because they know each other well enough to know, like me and Sirius, or because they’re just okay with it, like Ron and Hermione. But Draco… Draco needs to be asked first. If you don’t know about someone, you should ask first. And for Draco, he needs to know that he can say no, because… Because of what happened when you were younger.”
“Of course he could say no,” Harry frowned, confused. “I don’t want to hurt him.”
“I know that, Harry. And deep down, Draco knows that too, but right now he needs the reminder. He didn’t feel safe when you kissed him without asking because he didn’t know if he could say no.”
“He could say no,” Harry argued, but he could see the seriousness in Remus’s eyes.
“I think for today you need to just… stay with us, okay? We can say you’re ill. And when you’re ready, you and Draco should talk.”
Harry nodded, still angry and hurt. Sirius turned back into a dog and nudged him over to a comfortable chair before climbing into his lap.
Draco hadn’t told Severus what happened because he didn’t want Severus to be angry at Harry or at him. But Severus got them food and settled down to work on reading through some essays while Draco read some potions theory.
“Whatever has happened, Draco, I want you to know I will do all I can to keep you safe.”
“I know,” Draco answered because he’d always known that. There might not be much Severus could do, but he would try. He hid in the room until lunch time, wondering if he would be able to ask to sleep there tonight so he didn’t have to go back to their dorm, in case Harry was angry.
He knew he’d been mean in what he’d said, but he hadn’t known what else to do, how else to make Harry stop. He started crying again, and Severus floated over a handkerchief. He pulled an old pair of Harry’s glasses from his bag, because having that made him feel safe, and he rolled back his sleeve so he could look at his Mark, taking care to not touch it. Some days, he hated the Mark there because it proved how he’d been seen as nothing more than a possession. Other days, he liked the way it had saved them. Today, he was glad he could have a little bit of Harry with him, even when he’d been so nasty that Harry would probably never want to talk to him again.
At lunch time, a misty Patronus floated into the room, shapeless. It spoke with Remus’s voice. “Draco, if you feel up to it, I’d like for you and Harry to meet to talk about this morning. Snape, if Draco wants you there, you can be there. There’s no rush, take as long as you need.” It faded away to nothing.
“You don’t owe that boy anything, Draco,” Severus said firmly.
“I… I want to see him,” Draco answered, and made sure he looked presentable in the mirror. “Will you come with me?”
“Of course.”
Together, they went up to the Defence classroom, and Draco knocked. The door opened, and Draco saw Harry there. Harry looked very small and very sad, curled in on himself and dejected.
Draco walked over towards him. “H…Harry?”
“Draco?” Harry looked up, eyes wide with fear and confusion. “Can-”
Draco held out his arms, and Harry rushed into his embrace, clinging to him and crying. Draco was crying too, and Harry’s fingers laced with his own.
“I missed you,” Draco whispered, and Harry nodded.
“I’m sorry, I…” Harry started. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“I know. I’m sorry I said those things, I didn’t want to hurt you, I just needed to escape-”
“I know,” Harry murmured. “And I’m sorry I vanished the door.”
Draco did whimper at that, arms trembling around Harry, and Harry hugged him and then they let go.
“I wanted to kiss you because Hermione and Ron said it’s nice, but I don’t want to make you sad. I’ll ask next time.”
“Now?” Draco asked, and Harry blinked, and shrugged.
“Sure. Can I kiss you?”
“No,” Draco said firmly, watching him, and Harry gazed back. It hurt a little, but it was important that Draco felt safe. If Draco didn’t want to kiss him, that had to be okay. Draco’s gaze was focused on his eyes for a moment. Harry thought he might be looking for any glint of red, but after a moment, he relaxed and glanced at Remus. “I’m allowed to change my mind, right?”
“Either of you can always change your mind, and that matters. Either one says no, and you stop.”
“Okay,” Draco nodded, and Harry nodded too.
Harry smiled hopefully, and Draco nodded. “You can kiss me.”
Harry leaned in and brushed their lips together. Hermione and Ron were right, it did feel nice.
All of the grown ups were looking away, Remus and Sirius talking together, and Snape looking at some books.
“If… If I need to sleep in my bed sometimes, on my own,” Draco asked. “Is that okay?”
Harry nodded. He didn’t like the idea, but if Draco wanted that, he could do it. He wanted to make Draco feel safe. “Do you want to be my boyfriend?”
Draco smiled, and nodded, and then leaned in for another quick kiss. “I would like that. We can still make Charms class if we hurry.”
Harry thought he’d much rather stay and kiss Draco, but Remus was shooing them towards the door, and Draco’s fingers had tangled in his own, pulling him off towards class. He hoped he could kiss him again later. But he’d make sure to ask first.