Chapter Text
On a busy day of liyue harbor lies the most prominent and important person that stood in a palace place on top of the city. Lady Ningguang is never a people pleaser but she once have someone she want to please but that person-
"Lady Ningguang!" A voice called the lady in gold, dress in most shiny outfit. Ningguang take off her eyes on the paper on her desk and look up the figure that called her infront
"What is so important that you needed to be shouting my name?" A lady with blue hair and very eye catching horns that points upward on her head, giggles shyly
"Hehehe I'm sorry lady Ningguang, but i thought you might want to join us on this expedition" ganyu stood infront of the lady straight making ningguang study her posture, she was bouncing on her feet as a bright smile is on her face.
"Such simple duty doesn't need the tianquan in person, why bother?" Ningguang rise her eyebrow at seemingly bright figure
"Oh but this duty is..." ganyu bright aura seem to gloom as she trails on her words, she look up to meet ningguang curious eyes casually finding any bad cloud or just reading her posture. Once ganyu found not a bad sign on her she continues.
"Is on the crux."
the crux
Crux
Ningguang mind goes haywire as ganyu said that word. The secretary notice the slight jump the lady's body did but she keep her mouth silent not to startle the lady more. As the room goes silent as the two girls stare at each other.
On the other side of the desk, ningguang's mind goes to endless cycles of memories with a person she once love so much, so much that it hurts to just remember her again.
"Wow, that's a lot of people!" A heavy voice rings in ningguang's ear, she turns her back to just push the captain slightly away from her body
"No need to be such a hassle, this people also just wanna eat like us." Ningguang said facing her full body to beidou, her secret crush but she will never admit that.
"I know ning, but I'm hungry" beidou jokingly push her body closer to her, on instinct ningguang put her hands on the captain's chest to push her away but doing so she accidentally trip backwards gripping beidou's front pulling her to fall with her, on instant beidou's arms warp around the lady's waist preventing them both to fall back.
in a trace, they both look at each other eyes both of their faces are centimeters close to each other feeling their breath hits the other. Ningguang was feeling this the most, the hand on her waist and her's on beidou's chest holding her close and when ningguang (un)fortunate even has quickly ended beidou was the first to pull away, ningguang instantly misses her scent and warm her body give but eventually go back to professional mode as they are still outside bear in the liyue citizen's eyes.
Ningguang endless memory stops to remind herself that she haven't said anything yet to ganyu who just stood there and by the looks of it stopping herself to make anymore remarks and just waiting a word from the frozen ningguang on her seat.
"And what makes you think that?" She finally spoke, ganyu who was slightly surprised that she was not mad at her for bringing that back so she replied with a small smile
"Well, it's been 10 years and maybe just maybe...you want to take something there and your birthday is still not over yet. You should go out lady Ningguang just for today"
Ningguang takes a second to think about it, she thought how terrible that sounds, how much pain that feels, and how much that would scar her again...
But still it's still my birthday, maybe i need to face it again. This year
"...Okay" she said yes, she actually want to go back to that place, a place where all her problems started.
Ganyu nodded, and instantly gone on her sight.
Ningguang still have time to think this over, to decline the offer and just stay on her little space she cage herself into.
But she didn't
And she continues.
And she arrived.
As she step foot on the boat she felt nostalgia hitting her body instantly making her dizzy making her feel home.
Home is not where the chamber is, home is not where she set her own rules, home is where she find herself with her. This is home.
As people walk past her trying to do their duty in the first place, guards also walk around the boat to search or to guard the adventurers. But she find herself walking to a place she knows she regret going to.
Standing infront of the door where beidou mostly spent her time but also their time qlone. A place where all the problem started.
Reaching for the knob slowly but surely, the cold metal stains itself on her hand as she holds it tightly before opening the door
A flash of white hit ningguang's eyes as she sees herself again with the horrible image of beidou's lifeless body as it bleeds all over the floor, her hair covering her face and legs spayed flat. Ningguang just can't stop looking at the wrist cut open and other hand holds a bloody knife.
Ningguang sucks up air trying to pry away her eyes from the scene infront of her so she looks around, a birthday cake laying on the table with birthday stickers on the wall that spells her name.
it was her Birthday.
Ningguang close her eyes wishing that she was not actually in beidou's room, wishing that she's away from this place.
Once she open her eyes again she was bring back to reality, a clean room, no vision of beidou, no blood, and no birthday cake.
She exhale some air out that seems like it was suffocating her just being in this room. She took the first step after minutes of just staring blankly at the room. Slowly her eyes roam around taking what she knows was there but not anymore.
Then her eyes landed on the table beidou once use to look at the map that was nailed on it, but now is gone and only an envelope with the color of velvety red was neatly place in the middle.
Ningguang walk closer to the table carefully not touching other furniture. She studies the envelope taking the smooth paper as it shines the light it hits from the open door.
"Such a pretty envelope, why is this here...?" She muttured to herself before taking the paper from the table to her hand, on one touch she felt something lifted from her shoulder some burden from being here was instantly erased from her mind. Studying the envelope closer, she carefully opened it before taking the confinements out.
There, she stares at the thing on her hand. It was pictures, pictures that was taken 10 years ago. It was still in good condition. She looks at the picture one by one and notice it was mostly her pictures she remembers beidou taking while they were together, 3 had pictures of her, 1 had both of them and 1 is with their friends.
She take notice of the dates imprinted on the pictures and it was all in chronical order 5 days before her birthday.
"H-huh..?" She said confused why was this here, why is it on a place where they both spend their time alone together and why is 5 days before her birthday.
Such beautiful photos...
She was snap back to reality when guards shouted saying it was time to go back, the adventures also know that they can't stay much longer since this is a very closed place and can't not be played on.
Ningguang hurriedly took the envelop and hid it in her dress not wanting to answer questions when they see her holding them.
She got back the chamber peacefully, ganyu shows up to asked her something but her mind was still cloudy at the thoughts of being back there so she excuse herself instantly away from ganyu and she respectfully nod and understand the pressure ningguang is now.
Ningguang found herself sitting on the edge of her bed, after a few seconds of staring into nothing. She felt water droplets hit her hands that was on her lap, she sniffles but she didn't stop, she continues to cry that until now she's been holding since she put a foot in that boat. All the never ending tears that falls out her eyes even after 10 years of crying, sobbing in her sleep it seems like she never runs out of tears to shred.
She curse herself, she still blames herself to what happened. Even when her friends told her for the past 10 years it was not your fault
But what could she do? The person she thought was the happiest and most brightest personality she known killed herself on her birthday? She cut her own wrist ending her own life for what? Ningguang guess she will never found out. She also thought beidou will never found out that ningguang loves her, truly.
Curling her body like a ball, ningguang felt the envelope on her pocket crisp, she slowly pulled it out while tears still falls on her face. She took one picture that was her face smiling in the dark sky, she looks so happy, contented and she knows why. Beidou took it.
She look away from the picture her eyes landing at a fireplace she have on her room. Beidou always told her that it's dangerous but ningguang is stubborn and said it was not.
She throw the picture at the fireplace, successfully landing on the fire. She eyed the picture as it turns to ashes. When it was halfway burned, she put her head on her knees and hugging it with her arms as she continues to sob.
.
.
.
Feeling a bliss of air hitting her hair, her legs was getting tickled by grass and sun hitting her closed eyes.
She slowly opened them. Blinking trying to adjust the burn of the light. And like a dream.
She found herself standing on grass, she was not her gloomy room but instead greeted by small voices and laughters.
She look around must be dreaming, huh this feel so real while she roam her surroundings her eyes landed on a person she knows by heart.
Then there she is.
Her.
Beidou.
She was not even close at her but everything else but her was on slow mo. Ningguang sucks up air, eyes dilated, chest thumping so fast.
"Beidou..."