Chapter Text
Wine Tasters
Aether: ayo does anyone know where tf Lumine went
Bardbatos: why dont u just......... msg her n ask???
Aether: Wow! Why didn't I think of that!?!?!?!?
Obviously i fucking CAN'T message her Venti you dumb bitch
she blocked me for getting her in trouble iirc
Bardbatos: DAMN 😭I WAS JUS TAKSING
Batman: Maybe you should try never speaking again
Kaeya:
@Aether: ayo does anyone know where tf Lumine went
I'm pretty sure she's w that one ginger guy who got suspended for attemptign to goad a teacher into fighting him
Aether: ty Kaeya for being the only useful person ik <3
also, do you mean Childe?????
Dragonfly: Kaeya literally got that information from me :(
wait what's up w my nickname?
Bardatos: OH its cause ur the winggliding champion!! n u've got a pyro vision... n dragons breathe fire...i t made sense in my brain
Dragonfly: AWE <3
Bardatos: !!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3
Aether: ok. ty Amber for providing Kaeya with the information to be the most useful person ik
ALSO HOW COME I DON'T HAVE A CUTE NICKNAME??
Bardbatos: bc ur name is cute enuf as is :lipbite:
Aether: :lipbite:
no but seriously give me a cute nickname rn!!
Bardbatos: ok fine jeez :/
Bardbatos changed "Aether" to "Shooting Star"
Shooting Star: OMG!??!??!!? KISSES YOU PASSIONATELY ON THE MOUTH /P
Bardbatos: omg aefer *blushes cutely* *kisses u passionately back* /p
Kaeya: Wow. What about me :(
Batman changed "Kaeya" to "Ice Ice Baby"
Ice Ice Baby: LMFAO DILUC?!?!??!?!?
Batman: That's my one good deed checked off for this month
Jacting Jeader Jean: A good deed in general or just your one good deed to Kaeya per month?
What The Fuck
Bardbatos: im so sry for ur name jean............. it was rly funny to me at the time............... its like. jorts. but ur entire title. acting (student council) leader jean...... jacting (judent jouncil) jeader jean.......
Ice Ice Baby: HELP MEEEEEEEEEE VENTI WHATTTT
Shooting Star: jail. i can't believe you'd do Jean like that.
The Librarian: Your days are numbered.
Bardbatos: im sry for ur name too
Jacting Jeader Jean: It's fine. My name is fine.
Batman:
@Jacting Jeader Jean: A good deed in general or just your one good deed to Kaeya per month?
to Kaeya per month.
Ice Ice Baby: it's an improvement! someday i'll get it to TWO good deeds per month.
Batman: Ayo slow down 😰
Ice Ice Baby: damn sorry Dilly 🙏i forget how scared of reconciliation you can be my bad
Batman: If we reconcile like normal people how are we supposed to have our 400k Brothers to Enemies to Reluctant Allies to Enemies to Friends to
Enemies to Friends to Brothers Again, Miscommunication, Hurt/No Comfort, Found Family, Major Character Death,
Major Character Injury, Reconciliation, Found Family, Angst With A Happy Ending, Whump, Argui
Dragonfly: AYO?????????????? WHY DO YOU HAVE A FULL TAG LIST JUST PREPARED
Elsa: Does that first tag even exist?
...I will have vengeance for the name you have given me, @Bardbatos
Bardbatos: Yes ma'am, sorry ma'am. T'was worth it, however.
The Librarian:
@Shooting Star: ayo does anyone know where tf Lumine went
Have you found her yet, cutie?
Shooting Star: TY FOR ASKING LISA YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON EVER
but no i haven't i'm tryna fuckin. get a hold of Childe and this bitchass mf does NOT make it easy
if anyone actually has his number that'd be convenient
Bardbatos: I DON'T BUT I HAVE. ZHONGLI'S NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT BLOCKHEADED BITCH IS AROUND CHILDE ALL THE TIME
SO HE DEFFO HAS HIS BUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shooting Star: GIVE ME ZHONGLI'S NUMBER THEN!??!?! OR ADD HIM TO THE CHAT IDC
Bardbatos: but this modnstadter s hcat!?!?
but yh ok. only temptrartugei tho
Dragonfly: are you having a stroke rn Venti???
Bardbatos: no
Bardbatos added Zhongli to Wine Tasters
Zhongli: Hello, Barbatos. What exactly have you added me to this chat for? I presume this isn't actually for Wine Tasting, despite what the name of the chat implies.
Bardbatos: pls u can just call me venti
but also aether just needed ur number. and this was the fun way to give it to him. i will b kicking u after bc this is the mondstadt gc
Zhongli: Ah, that makes sense, I suppose. What does Aether need my number for?
Shooting Star: I DON'T NEED UR NUMBER I NEED CHILDE'S NUMBER BUT YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON THAT HAS IT APPARENTLY
PPEAAAAAAS E SHAWTY GIVE ME CHILDE'S NUMBER
Zhongli: Well, that depends really on what you need his number for. It feels like quite the invasion of privacy to just hand his number off to what is essentially a complete
stranger. I am not trying to imply I do not trust you, Aether, but I not knowing your intentions...
I do not wish for Childe to receive any form of harassment via messages because of my actions.
Shooting Star: I'm gonna shit in ur locker
sorry i didn't mean that bestie haha. i need to Inquire About My Sisters Whereabouts And He Is Allegedly The Last Person To Have Seen Her :)
Zhongli: um
I shall send you his number via direct messaging... please do NOT shit in my locker, I WILL bash your head in with a rock :)
Bardbatos: GAH DAYUM!?!??!?!?
also vouch Zhongli would absolutely do that to u he did thta 2 me when we were kids :/
Batman: He smashed your head in with a rock when you were a child? That explains so much about you.
Bardbatos: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN???????????????????
Aether > Childe
Aether: CHILDE. PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE. YOU STUPID BITCH.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY SISTER?!?!??!
WHERE IS SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
CHILDE I KNOW YOU CAN SEE THIS
PICK UP THE PHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE
Childe: gangnum style
naw but seriously. who is this?
Aether: It is I. Aether. The blonde one with the long ass hair. Twin brother of Lumine, whomst I have heard might
be with you?? rn?? or was with you not too long ago???
Childe: OH!! Hello, comrade! Yeah, Lumine was just here. She headed off to class, like. 5 minutes ago though.
Aether: ffs
do you have her number?
Childe: Yeah, does she have you blocked?
Aether: yes :( can u PEASE tell her to unblock me. or at least tell her i am LOST and she ABANDONED me and i'd very
much like to reunite w my beloved twin sister uwu owo
Childe: Yeah sure i'm jus gonna sc this for her ^^
Aether: NAWWWWWWW
****
WEEZER BLUE > Women... That Can Kill U
WEEZER BLUE: [image ID: the previous chatlog between Childe and Aether]
girlie... your brother is harrassing me !!
Women... That Can Kill U: omg he's so clingy 🙄
/j. u deserve to be harassed. you can't even spell the word correctly.
i'm gonna go unblock him and tell him to bother you MORE.
WEEZER BLUE: NAWWWWW this is like. ableism or smthn!!
Women... That Can Kill U: L
****
Wine Taster
Bardbatos: Aight Blockhead, It's Time To Go. U've Been Here.... Tainting Our Precious Mondstadt GC... for long enough.
Zhongli: I mean, that is quite alright with me. I do not know anyone here very well, and it would be quite... annoying. To try balance this
group with the Liyue chat AND the geo chat... so it will be quite the relief to not have to
stick around. Not that I mean this in a personal way, Aether's locker threat did not offend me THAT much.
Bardbatos: y'ALL GOT A GEO CHAT?!??!?!?!?
@Albedo @Albedo @Albedo @Albedo @Albedo @Albedo
Albedo: Are you aware that sending those all in the same message... means it only pings me once?
Bardbatos: You!! Didn't tell us!! They had a vision-specific chat!?
Albedo: Was I supposed to?
Well: They have vision specific chats. I happen to be a part of the geo one. It's very uneventful.
The only people who ever really talk there are Arataki Itto and Gorou (I forget his last name).
Zhongli: Yes, I'd much rather it didn't exist at all. I do not enjoy being subject to the onslaught of messages Arataki Itto often
sends to us all.
Bardbatos: Don't Care, Didn't Ask + L + Ratio + You Get No Bitches + I'm Kicking You Now
Zhongli: I get more "bitches" than you do, "bard".
Bardbatos removed Zhongli from Wine Tasters
Bardbatos: WHATDIDHESAYYYYYYYY!??!?!??!?!? WTF. SOBBING. CRYING.
Batman: Add him back tf??? I like seeing people be mean to you :/
Bardbatos: choek on ur fucking grape juice, grape boy
Batman: I'm getting a restraining order.
Bardbatos: NAWWW YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME???
Jacting Jeader Jean: Please stop talking.
Lumine: What Celestia did I just come back to. what is wrong with you people.
Shooting Star: YEAHHHH YOU'RE NOT DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!
good cause i need ur key. to get back into our dorm.
Lumine: ARE YOU DEADASS???? Is this why you have been harassing everyone ever to get in touch with me????
Shooting Star: YES :(
Lumine: ffs Aether. i'll be there after class ends go to, like. a café or some shit. go live a coffee shop AU for the next 30 minutes.
also why r u named after Mabel?
Shooting Star: I didn't even think about that.
WAIT ABAIBDIOWBEOBDD
Shooting Star changed "Lumine" to "Pine Tree"
Pine Tree: AETHER
i wish we could name our private chats
Shooting Star: a GC with u me n heizou. "Mytery Twins + Edogawa Ranpo" or smth. for our detectiving needs.
Pine Tree: NOT EDOGAWA RANPO
Dragonfly: Um, if I might ask, who's Heizou?
Pine Tree: Shikanoin Heizou, he's like. a prodigy detective,, if that's a thing. he's an Inazuma kid though so.
Ice Ice Baby: F
Albedo: How are you two in contact with an Inazuma student?
Shooting Star: We aren't :( we used to be, we still have his number n shit but...
Bardbatos: Real talk @Jacting Jeader Jean do u have n e info on the inazuma sitchyayshin?
Elsa: Never write the word "Situation" like that ever again, or I WILL have vengeance.
Jacting Jeader Jean: Unfortunately, I do not. Most of what I have heard does not really make sense to me, and is only speculation
so I'd rather not say what I know until I know more for certain.
Sayaka Miki: There's apparently a small number of people who have formed a "resistance" of sorts, I heard!
Venti.
Bardbatos: What?
Sayaka Miki: Why :(
Bardbatos: ive never watched madoka magical lol but i wanted to name u like. "magical girl" or smthn. but that was kind of lame
so i decided to pick a magical girl, and YOU like Madoka Magica,,, and Sayaka looks like she
uses water like u?? or smthn?? and she apparently heals! like you do!
Sayaka Miki: Your reasoning................... now I feel bad
I'm just gonna go to class.
Bardbatos: Now I feel bad
Pine Tree: Hey Venti how about we watch Madoka Magica together tonight!! It's really cute, a light watch really :) it could be fun
and then you can talk with Barbara about it :)
Bardbatos: sure!! i need another way to procrastinate my hw anyway. i'll go pick up some Consumables :lipbite:
Ice Ice Baby: Nahhhhh you EVIL evil for that
Shooting Star: Yeah I'm not sticking around for the fallout of that, maybe I am actually just gonna. Stay the night in some1 elses dorm.
Pine Tree: BOOOOOOOOOOO YOU WHORE
I gotta go back to paying attention to this lecture tho. tell me who's place u'll be at later so i can drop off ur keys
Shooting Star: will do bestie. have fun torturing Venti or whatever
Batman: How doesn't he know what kind of anime Madoka is... I haven't watched it either and I STILL know...
Elsa: Madoka Magica is a Magical Girl anime is it not? It looks very... "cutesy"
Dragonfly: That's how they get you, Eula.