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Steve had been quick to bring Eddie into the friend group once they were both out of the hospital. You don’t drag someone out of hell while they bleed to death and just abandon them after. Plus the kids loved him, and Steve could see why. Eddie had a magnetism around him that demanded attention and Steve had slowly accepted his place in it’s orbital belt. A sort of confidence that he could only admire.
Not to mention that Eddie was cute, like really cute. Like annoyingly cute.
After you’re 4th or 5th near death experience you sort of stop questioning things as they come and just go with the flow. So after his first dream about kissing the long haired boy and a panicked phone call to Robin Steve learnt what bisexuality was and rolled with it. Though choosing to just tuck those feelings away in order to keep Eddie comfortable at parties and hangouts, worried the feelings would scare him away.
None of this to say he didn’t make a point of paying special attention to the metal head when he was over. Noticing different habits and tendencies that only made Steve fall harder. Like how Eddie hid behind his hair when he was nervous, how he constantly twisted the many rings on his fingers, the way his bangs poofed up in the humidity more than the rest of his hair did, and how he avoided water like the plague.
Steve had panicked the first time Eddie shot him down on a pool party invite until Robin pointed out that he might still be freaked out by Water Gate. Which made total sense. Steve hadn’t been able to even look at a pool for years after Barb went missing. But Steve kept inviting Eddie, not wanting him to feel left out. He knew the other man would politely refuse but he still hoped a little each time this would be the time he said yes.
So it’s easy to imagine the surprise that crossed Steve’s face when metal head opened his fence and walked into his backyard where he was current keeping Dustin from dunking Will underwater.
“Eddie!” He yelled excitedly raising his hand in a wave ‘what are you doing here? I thought you were planning your next quest?’
Eddie went to hide his small smile behind some hair and Steve’s heart felt like it may burst.
“Campaign Steve, we do campaigns. And I’m handing the torch to young Will the Wise now that I’ve been freed from the confines on Hawkins High. He’s DMing this round and I need to drop off some supplies.”
“Oh” Steve muttered trying to his his disappointment that Eddie wasn’t here for him or the party “well I’m glad you’re here anyway! Robin is inside making drinks if you wanna go grab one. I’ve got to keep the gremlins from drowning one another.”
Eddie’s laugh could be heard through the open door to the kitchen and Robin came barreling out.
“Eddie’s here!” She shrieked jumping on his back “why are you wearing so many clothes? It’s a pool party! You only need like 3 of the 7 layers you have on.”
Eddie couldn’t tell if it was the effort to keep Robin from falling off his back, the force of his laughing, or how hard he was trying not to blush that was trying the hardest to knock him on his ass.
“How much have you had to drink?” Both boys asked before making eye contact and blushing.
“Only a drink and a half of you believe it” said a worse for wear Nancy sticking her head out of the door. “Absolute light weight.”
“At least I’m a cheap date!” Robin hollered back burying her face in Eddie’s curls but slowly starting to slide off his back.
Once Robin once safely returned to the kitchen under Nancy’s care both men returned to the poolside with drinks in hand. Watching the kids play chicken Steve sat with his legs in the water while Eddie sat criss cross apple sauce on the pools edge.
“Robin was right you know.” Steve started as Eddie raised his eye brows in confusion “God I never want to say that again, but you can go get changed if you want. I have some suits you can borrow if you need one.”
“Oh umm” Eddie begin to refuse before Steve interrupted him.
“You don’t have to get in the water! I mean if that’s a thing for you. Which I totally don’t blame you for man, after well everything. I couldn’t even drive past where the mall used to be after last time. Shit messes you up. But it’s like a million degrees you must be burning up.”
“Oh, thanks.” Eddie’s face fell into an expression of pain and concern that Steve couldn’t quite place but hated immediately. “It’s not a water thing, I mean I probably wouldn’t go near a lake any time soon, but it’s a pool I guess. You can see the bottom. That’s not why I haven’t been swimming. I really appreciate you always inviting me though.”
“Eddie you always invited here. Even if you’re inviting yourself. Lord knows the kids just let themselves in.” Steve didn’t know how to ask what he wanted so both men just feel into a semi comfortable silence turning their attention back to the kids.
The rest of the party passed peacefully with the older members having a few more drinks and they cooked burgers for the kids. Comfortably chatting about graduation and plans moving forward. Nancy was leaving soon for Emerson while Robin and Eddie were taking a gap year. The kids excitedly telling Eddie about their plans for Hellfire and insisting that he was welcome back anytime he wanted. Steve remained unusually quite throughout though, something that Eddie couldn’t stop himself from noticing.
Eventually the stars rose high in the sky and the kids eyes began to fall. Putting a movie on in the living room Lucas, El, and Will were asleep by the first scene with the rest not far behind. Nancy and Robin took the spare room while Steve insisted that Eddie room with him to spare him sleeping surrounded by high schoolers. Eddie was too tipsy to drive and happily agreed following the taller man up the stairs to his room.
Snooping though Steve’s bookcases Eddie was torn from his thoughts as Steve reentered the room wrapped in just a towel following his shower.
‘“I’m really am glad you came today.”
Eddie could hide the smile that crossed his face or the blush spreading across his cheeks.
“Me too, big boy. Thanks for the invite and not giving up on me.”
“If there’s one thing I can’t take it’s a hint Munson, just ask Nancy.” Both men chuckled settling next to each other on the bed.
“Are you ok though Stevie? You got really quiet out there for a while.”
“Yea ‘m fine. Just thinking.”
“You know you’re to pretty to need to think.” Eddie joked trying to list the suddenly heavy mood but neither laughed.
“It’s just, you said it wasn’t the water. So what is it? Why don’t you ever come to pool parties?”
Eddie’s entire body stiffened and he wrapped his arms around himself. Steve tried to run his back in comfort but Eddie turned away.
“You don’t have to tell me Eds” Steve whispered “but I’m always here if you want to talk. We all are.”
“We can’t all look as good as you Harrington” Eddie croaked out weakly holding back tears.
Steve turning to him instantly but Eddie only turned further away, butting more into himself.
“Look man” Eddie began again “can we not do this while your naked? I really need to teach you to protect your modesty.”
Another joke neither man laughed at as Steve raised to his feet picking some pajama and returning to the bathroom to change. Blindly grabbing some more sleep clothes that he handed to Eddie on his way.
Once in the bathroom and changed Steve took a few minutes to catch his breath and stare at his reflection. Eddie’s broken voice running through his head.
We can’t all look as good as you.
What the hell did that mean? And was Steve even ready for this conversation. He told Eddie he was always there for him and he meant that. But this felt like a conversation with a clear before and after in the greater timeline of his life. Shaking the thoughts from his head Steve took one last deep breath before gently opening the door a crack.
“Am I good to come back in Eds?”
“Umm…yea, I guess.”
Steve hesitated a minute before opening the door fully. Taking in the site of Eddie, his heart shattering at the imagine. Eddie was standing with none of his usual confidence or magnetism. Tears in his eyes and he stood in front of the mirror tugging fruitlessly at the bottom of the crop top Steve had given him.
“What do you mean you guess?” Steve could feel his voice break as he spoke.
“C…can I have a different shirt please?” Eddie asked softly, failing to hide his tear strained voice. Arms wrapping tightly around his exposed mid-drift.
“Yea of course, whatever you need Eddie.”
Steve all but ran to his dresser to pull out a variety of shirts for Eddie to choose from. Kicking himself for just grabbing whatever sleep clothes were on top without looking at them. He returned to the bed with a pile of shirts as Eddie reached for his lighter on the night table, having dug a joint out lord knows where.
“Do you mind?” He asked lifting the tightly rolled paper in his hands. Steve shook his head no and watched absolutely entranced at how Eddie’s throat worked as he took a deep inhale. Taking note of the light scars that littered the side of it up to his jawline, they had become such a part of Eddie that Steve didn’t notice them anymore.
A memory he had tried to repress rushed to the front his mind and suddenly everything clicked into place.
Steve had been let out of the hospital a few weeks before Eddie, none of them had injuries even comparable to his. But he made a point of visiting the metal head every day. It broke his heart to see Eddie covered from throat to knees in bandages but he knew however bad it was for him it’d be incomparable to Eddie seeing himself for the first time upon waking up. And Steve would be dammed if he went through that alone. Steve was there when he woke up. When Eddie was unwrapped tor the first time and allowed to see himself. It’s the only time Steve had seen him cry, muttering something about Freddy Krueger into Steve’s chest. Steve was there to hold him through it and silently vowed that he’d be there to hold Eddie anytime he needed it. But he never seemed to need it once he left the hospital. Everything went more of less back to normal and Steve was happy to forget the image of tears in Eddie’s eyes.
Eddie drew him back to the present by handing him the joint and asking where he’d just disappeared to. Steve just laid back down, the pile of shirts forgotten. How could he be so stupid? Of course Eddie would be nervous about his scars. He’d been so upset of course he wouldn’t just magically get over it. He’d gotten it so much worse than Steve, not that it took away from how attractive he was. Not in Steve Harrington’s eyes. Never in Steve’s eyes.
How had he managed to miss the wall Eddie was putting up?
Steve turned his head to make eye contact with Eddie. At least he wasn’t crying anymore. Steve gently patted his stomach and Eddie laid down with him gently resting his head on the other boys stomach. Steve began running his hand through Eddie’s hair as they lazily passed the joint back and forth.
“I think you look great Eddie.” Steve whispered like a prayer “I know you said you don’t look as good as me but I think you look great. You’ve got this really attractive no fucks given rocker thing about you that I could never pull off.”
Eddie chuckled but his heart wasn’t in it.
“I only have one nipple Harrington. No attitude can make up for that.”
“You’re more than your nipples Munson.”
Both men broke into a fit of giggles, the weed helping bring down the stress of the situation.
“But seriously Steve, I’m fucking mutilated. I have more scars than skin at this point. I guess I lucked out that only a few can’t be hidden. But fuck, I have one nipple. I wasn’t exactly vain to begin with. Never had the features to justify it. But it’s so much worse now. No one was exactly lining up to get with Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson to begin with but I always had hope that at least one day I’d get out of this town. Out of Indiana. And find somebody. Somebody who’d never heard of me before, give myself a totally clean slate. But I can’t now. There is no where in this world I can go now where I can escape ‘the freak’ now. It’s literally carved into my skin. And you know what the worst part is?”
Eddie didn’t wait for Steve to answer, waving his hands in the air as he continued.
“How do I even explain it? If by some miracle I do find a person who doesn’t see me topless and runs for the hill? There gonna have questions. And what do I say? Oh it was a bunch of demon bats from an alternate dimension and by the way if you start seeing armored cars following us don’t worry. I’d get locked up before I could even put my shirt back on. I mean, fuck. I’d take having these scars any day over losing any of you but there’s no moving on from this. My swimsuit days are long gone and my life as a single man is sealed in stone. I’ll never be able to get a partner once they see my body and even if they did I’d never be able to share a solid chunk of my life with them. And what about the nightmares? If I wake up screaming about demobats and can’t tell them anything. Then I’d just be an ugly bastard as well as an emotionally unavailable one. I can move on someday probably but my body and my life never could.”
Eddie was crying again, seconds from full on sobbing and Steve had no idea what to say or how to comfort him. He understood everything Eddie was saying as he had thought quite a bit about it himself. Robin joked about his dating life following the mall but he didn’t feel like he could risk a relationship. A girl had crashed with him after a hookup once and he woke up from a nightmare whispering in Russian. He couldn’t explain it and she never called him back following that. Sharing trauma is one thing but when it’s a government protected trauma it’s a whole other battle. The loneliness is all encompassing and you slowly start to loose the ability to relate to people. Let alone to have such a prominent physical reminder, Steve though to himself gently running the lightly raised marks across his neck. He couldn’t say he was strangled from a demobat so he tells everyone he got drunk and fell into a volleyball net. He couldn’t begin to think of a good cover story for Eddie. But he didn’t say any of that to Eddie, didn’t know how to. He just kept playing with his hair and staring at the celling. Both laying quietly listening as Eddie’s breath evened out.
“I’m telling you man, girls d-i-i-ig scars!”
“Do boys though?” Eddie asked, the words leaving his mouth entirely without his permission.
It would have been comedic how large Eddie’s eyes grew if either of them were able to breath let alone focus on anything.
Steve broke the silence again, speaking a little uncertainly.
“I’m sure some do…I certainly do Eds.”
Holding his breath Steve eyed Eddie without turning his head. Neither man daring to make the first move for what could have been seconds or hours. Eventually Eddie turned his head to face the man he whose chest he was laying on.
“What are you saying Steve?” Eddie asked going to cover his scared sides again. The sight broke Steve’s heart as he gently peeled Eddie’s hands away kissing his knuckles.
“What do you want me to be saying Eds?” Steve replied quietly, placing Eddie’s hand against his cheek while lovingly lowering his own hand to Eddie’s side. If saw Eddie start to tear up again he kept it to himself. Instead choosing to focus on his face as Eddie slowly rose to a sitting position. Twisting his hand against Steve’s cheek but never removing it.
“I don’t want to put words into your mouth Steve.”
“Then let me tell you Eddie, and if you want to walk away and never talk to me again or act like this never happened that’s fine. But Eddie, you are the most amazing person I’ve ever met scars, tattoos, missing nipples and all. Everyday someone has tried to tell you that your some type of freak or monster. Including at some points myself…no, no. Let me keep going. I was an ass, I really was. I like to think I’m not anymore but I can’t move on without acknowledging who I was. Because I was an asshole. I hung out with people who let me think that was cool. No one ever questioned why I was the way I was so I never had to think about it. But you’ve been reminded everyday who you are and you’ve had it twisted to the point that no one bothered to see how smart and funny and sweet and just how fucking cool you are. My high school experience would have been so much better if I had given you literally a second of kindness. My life is better now because you’re in it. And anyone who meets you will be in the same boat man. It sucks not being able to talk about what we went through with loved ones, especially when the scars are so visible. But anyone who gets to call you theirs is lucky as hell and if they don’t recognize it themselves or get caught up on your scars I’ll be sure to open their eyes for them. Because you’re so much more than them Eddie. You’re one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met and no demobat can take that away from you, no more than any asshole jock can. Just whatever happens next please don’t forget that.”
If you asked Eddie why he did what he did next he wouldn’t be able you. But his immediate response was to take off the crop top. Exposing his full chest to Steve while staring at the bedsheets. In that moment it felt so important that Steve see him fully but Eddie still couldn’t bear the possibility of a look of disgust crossing Steve’s face. Taking a deep breath and pushing his hair forward over his shoulders Eddie risked looking up.
The look on Steve’s face was indescribable. A cross between awe and devotion that Eddie had never seen before.
“You’re beautiful Eddie.”
Using a courage that he couldn’t even muster when facing the demobats Eddie leaned forward gently placing his lips against Steves. Steve kissed with the same tenderness for a few moments before both men pulled away, smiling like idiots.
“Wanna get in the hot tub Stevie?”