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“I’m not a kid, Tony.” Peter said, slamming the laptop shut.
Tony rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. You can stay out past nine now and drink cocktails on the playground.” He put his hands up placatingly when the kid actually growled. “Look Peter, I get it. You’re an adult and you want people to look at you like an adult. Been there.” He sat down on the bed next to Peter’s desk and sighed when the boy crossed his arms and leaned back in the desk chair, glaring him down.
Very adult behavior, he noted.
“I was already way past my prime by the time you were even a twinkle in your mom’s eye, so it isn’t that I don’t respect who you’ve grown into. You know I do. But I helped raise you, kiddo. You ain’t getting out of that.” Tony grinned and offered the kid a wink. “You’ll always be my little boy.” He crooned, but for once his jokes seemed to miss the mark.
Peter swallowed and wouldn’t meet his eyes. “That’s not true.” He mumbled into his chest.
Tony frowned. “I mean…I was just joking, I didn’t mean-“
“You’re not past your prime.”
Tony sat back, puzzled, and reevaluated their conversation.
He’d missed something.
He’d missed it and if he actually thought of Peter as an adult like he’d said, he wouldn’t have.
Shit.
“Peter. Why is it so important that I don’t think of you as a kid anymore?” He asked warily.
But Peter didn’t answer.
Tony stood abruptly, flight instinct engaging in an instant. “I ah. I gotta go.” He said, already halfway to the door before Peter leapt in front of him.
“N-no, Tony don’t go, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything, it’s fine!” Peter gasped and Tony’s retreat halted immediately.
Jesus the kid was going to hyperventilate.
And Tony needed to get out of here, but Peter…
Fuck .
“Hey, hey it’s okay. Everything’s okay. Look at me.” He hesitated briefly, but slipped his hands over the kid’s shoulders. “You’re okay.”
Peter shook his head, still struggling to draw a deep breath. “No, I- you-“
“Nope. No talking. Just breathe, okay kid?”
Definitely the wrong thing to say.
“I’m not a kid!” Those stormy brown eyes hooked right into Tony’s gut.
This…yeah. This was gonna hurt.
“You are to me.” He said firmly.
Peter’s shoulders drooped under Tony’s hands and the older man sighed. How did normal people deal with this? What was the right way to tell a twenty one year old that-
“But you said…”
He absolutely had not.
“Said what? When?” He asked, trying not to sound as doubtful as he was.
Peter shrugged. “When I got into MIT. You said when I was done and older we could…” Tony frowned as the boy lowered his head, saying the rest to his sneakers. “You said we could start traveling. Spend some real time together.”
Shit. He had said that. But this was not what he’d meant. He’d just wanted to make up for the time he’d been a shitty mentor and ignored the kid. But that was…
“Pete you were sixteen when you got into MIT.” The boy nodded and Tony was glad Peter was still staring at his shoes so he couldn’t see him rolling his eyes. “You realize that would have been the textbook definition of grooming, right? I paid for your college and every summer and spring break while you were there. That what you want? Some geriatric creep coming onto you at sixteen telling you the two of you can be together once you’re legal? You think that’s a good person to have a relationship with?”
Peter swallowed and finally looked up to meet his eyes. “I…I didn’t care. I lo-“
“Stop.” Tony took a deep breath. “Peter. Think about it. Really think about it. This?” He gestured between them. “This isn’t what love looks like. Not the kind of love you want. This would in no way be a healthy relationship.”
He should have known something was up when a slow smile curled at the corners of the kid’s mouth, but he didn’t have time to think of that when that mouth was suddenly on his.
Seriously?!
Peter hit the wall a little harder than Tony had intended, but damn it he had not been prepared. “We need to have a talk about the word ‘no’ and exactly what that means, Parker.” He snarled.
“I know what it means. I didn’t hear it. All I heard was you listing why anything between us would be a bad idea.”
“ Yeah. Bad idea. Therefore no.” Tony snarked, but Peter’s grin didn’t waver.
“You never said you didn’t want me. Just that you couldn’t have me. I’m telling you that you can.”
Jesus Christ. Had Tony been this bad at his age? How the hell had he managed to fuck up this badly? He did everything he could for the kid, thought they were in this together; on the same page, meanwhile Peter had been imagining them together and Tony just…could not. And now he was going to have to give the kid a truth that he knew hurt like a motherfucker because it had been given to him before and he Did. Not. Want. To.
He didn’t want to hurt Peter. But the only other option was letting the kid think he actually wanted him and that was just so much worse.
“Peter. Listen.” But he wasn’t. He’d lifted his hands to Tony’s waist and didn’t take the hint when Tony twisted away, fingers slipping along the leather of his belt and Tony’s patience finally snapped. He snatched up the kid’s hands and slammed them against the wall on either side of Peter’s head and WOW was that the wrong thing to do. Peter’s cheeks flushed and he bit his lip and Tony didn’t think he’d ever retreated from anything as fast as he did from that look.
He suited up (because what else could he do?) and crossed the room to the window sill as the nanites took their places, leaving his face uncovered. Because as much as it would not be fun to say, it needed to be said eye to eye. “Look kid. You know I love you. I do. But I have never and will never want you like that.” He said quietly. “I’m sorry, Pete.”
And then he was gone.