Chapter Text
Clint Barton had three kids. This is what he told himself, often at times the grief was creeping up yet again. It hit Laura too, but she was better at releasing it in productive ways. Their kids didn’t know about it, didn’t know that Cooper wasn’t actually the oldest in their little family, didn’t know that they were missing a sister.
And then Thanos snapped and Clint lost the rest of his family. His grief had multiplied and piled onto an already building volcano ready to burst. Then they were back and he was happy but a part of him still yearned for the one who hadn’t come back, the one who had been lost years ago. And he knew at that moment, reuniting with his children, that they couldn’t keep them in the dark any longer.
He talked to Laura that night, all five of them piled in the living room inside a mountain of blankets. They held a whispered conversation once they could hear the three sets of snores and wiped away unshed tears at the turmoil yet to come.
Clint was up early, hoping pancakes would cushion the trauma from the snap and also the news they’d face today. He was a little right.
Nate was the first one awake, no surprise there. And Laura stirred not long after he had wolfed down his first plate. He knew Cooper would be the last one awake so it was no surprise that Lila awoke next. She was trapped under blankets and Cooper himself and had to wake him to follow the smell of a pancake breakfast. Then, all Bartons were at the table. Well, all but one.
Clint shared a look with Laura as Cooper and Lila sat down with their plates, clearing his throat in nervousness. “Listen, there’s something me and your mom… want to tell you.” Lila stopped her fork before it could leave her plate, looking up at her dad to show she was listening. Cooper and Nate didn’t bother to stop eating, but also showed signs that he had their attention. “I know this is a lot.” He stated simply, feeling a little stupid. “The snap and… everything. But it made me and your mom think about some things that we haven’t told you about. And it seems fair that you three should know too.”
The seriousness in his tone caused Cooper to stop eating and give him his full attention, and Lila dropped her fork to do the same. Nate was still listening but didn’t seem to understand the way his siblings had. “Know what?” Cooper asked hesitantly after a moment of silence. Laura stiffened and Clint had to force himself to ignore the unshed tears forming in her eyes.
Clint put his head down for a moment, sighing. “There’s really no easy way to say it.” He mumbled. Clint brought his head back up looking at his family. “A few years before you were born, Coop, me and your mom had another kid.”
There were two shouts of “What?” and a drop of another fork as Nate looked at the commotion with wide eyes. Lila was the first to recover. “Wait, what do you mean?”
Cooper tried to close his dropped jaw, but was unsuccessful. “We have another sibling?” He asked, incredulous.
“Had.” Laura’s voice was quiet, but the word rang loudly throughout the kitchen. She sniffed, excused herself and left the room. Clint couldn’t blame her. The kids eyes’ followed her as she walked out, confused. Clint decided to continue.
“Her name was Jocelyn.” Her name had started their little pattern of naming their kids after important people in their lives, albeit subtly. Cooper being Laura’s idea of C for Clint. Lila being the L for Laura. And Nate was obvious. Jocelyn was an homage to his mentor at Shield, a man named Jacques who had died not long after Clint and Laura married.
“Jocelyn.” Cooper parroted, his eyes seeing something other than the world around them.
“What happened to her?” Lila asked softly, gentle with her tone. Cooper’s eyes focused on his dad, wanting to know too.
Clint tensed and took a deep breath, not ready to relive it but wanting to tell the truth. “Me and your mom weren’t as cautious then. We lived in the city, near Shield headquarters. Not long after Jocelyn had her first birthday… I was at Shield, working. Your mom had taken her to Central Park. She doesn’t remember ever letting Joc out of her sight but suddenly… she was just gone.” The older kids understood the gravity of the statement, but it didn’t mean they were ready to believe it.
Nate’s furrowed brows would’ve been adorable in any other circumstance. “Did she get lost?” Cooper shut his eyes at the innocent question, and Lila looked down at Nate in pity.
Clint chuckled sadly. “I hope so, buddy.” He sighed. “I hope so.”