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None of the team except those directly involved knows what happened in Siberia.
None of the four people who actually went there – Tony, T’Challa, Steve and Bucky – would ever speak of it. Natasha is not sure that T’Challa was actually involved for most of whatever had happened.
Of course, it is not difficult to guess what must have happened.
Everyone knows there was a fight, and not with the actual bad guy they were hunting. Equally of course, no wonder no one wants to talk about it.
The Accords have long since been overturned by Human Rights activists and a far more sensible legislation created in place of it – a legislation formed with input from the enhanced individuals most affected by it.
But that does not mean that all the wounds are healed. That does not mean that they can all go back to what they once were to each other.
There is still the uneasy sense of the elephant in the room, the memory of the Raft, of the airport battle. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it comes to a head during one of their strategy sessions.
The strategy sessions are mostly casual, everyone sprawled every whichwhere in the common room of the Compound. It is not unusual for Tony and Steve to disagree on whatever is being discussed.
But ever since the war, there is the sense that they are walking on eggshells around each other. So it is a somewhat unusual occurrence that the discussion becomes heated.
Later, no one will be able to recollect exactly what was under discussion when it happened.
What they will all remember is Tony, frustrated by some argument, throwing up his hands in a wild gesture. The glint of metal as the armor automatically responds to his elevated heart rate.
It is not an attack. They all know that perfectly well. It is just Tony being his usual drama queen self.
But Natasha sees Bucky flinch away. Steve, by reflex, moves as if to place himself between Tony and Bucky. Both the supersoldiers – men who have never backed down even when pitted against the Mad Titan himself – have gone paper pale.
Tony catches himself, lowering his hands, shrugging. He backs away slightly from the other two in a placatory gesture.
“What’s wrong?” Pepper is the first to ask.
Steve shakes his head “Nothing. Doesn’t matter. Go on, Tony.”
Nothing? Natasha raises an eyebrow.
Steve’s hand is still on Bucky’s shoulder, but he seems to have mostly recovered from the involuntary start. Bucky, though, is still ashen, his eyes fixed on some point far away, breathing too quick and too ragged.
Sam Wilson moves closer as Steve helps Bucky to his feet. He has gone through too many of such episodes for Sam, Steve and Natasha to not know the signs.
“We’ll be back in a minute”
Steve manages a casual tone, giving a slight shake of the head in answer to Sam’s questioning glance. It is bad, but not bad enough that Sam needs to leave the meeting to be with them. They can handle it.
It is Tony’s turn to flinch slightly as all eyes in the room turn towards him.
“Tony?” Rhodey is the one to break the silence as it becomes clear that Tony is not going to answer the unasked questions. “What was that about?”
“He is still recovering” Tony shrugs, but his tone is enough o prove there is more to the story and he knows it. “We’ve seen him have these episodes before, haven’t we?”
“Yes” Natasha’s eyes narrow “In reaction to a threat.”
“You know I didn’t mean anything! I was just throwing my hands around!”
“What happened, Tony?” Pepper’s voice is quiet, but her tone is one that Tony cannot ignore “What happened back there? In Siberia?”
Tony stares at her “What… What does Siberia have to do with anything?”
But the others know him too well – they can recognize this for the stumbling it is.
“What happened in Siberia?” Strange demands.
He was a surgeon, not a psychologist, but he knows enough to recognize a PTSD reaction when he sees one. And he can guess at the kind of thing that can give the former Winter Soldier such a reaction.
Tony shrugs “You know what happened. We fought. I lost.”
“I know that Bucky came back nearly dead with shock and blood loss, his arm blown off by something like a repulsor blast” Natasha replies, her eyes fixed on Tony “I know that Steve could barely hold himself together long enough to manage the prison break from the Raft – he collapsed almost as soon as we got back to safety.”
“I know that your suit was damaged” Pepper adds “The faceplate torn off, arc reactor removed. You came back shaken, with bruises and cuts and a sprained arm, but the actual damage was to the suit.”
“He tore out the arc reactor” Tony’s voice is lower than they have ever heard.
“What?”
“Cap.” Tony is still practically whispering “In the fight. When we fought. I was winning. He smashed the faceplate, tore out the arc reactor.”
“Disabled the suit” Rhodey nods “That was smart.”
There is a look of betrayal in Tony’s eyes “He tore out the arc reactor.”
“You no longer need it the way you used to” Pepper points out, getting what he is driving at “Steve knew that as well. Taking out the arc reactor meant shutting down the suit and nothing worse.”
“I know” Tony admits “But for a moment there, I was panicking, thinking it was… Thinking I was going to…”
He shakes his head.
Sam almost says something, but Clint is the first to get his words out “I guess this was after you blasted Bucky’s arm off and did whatever it was to Steve that put him in a Wakandan hospital for a week?”
“For a week?” Tony looks up, startled.
Natasha nods. “He shouldn’t have been on that rescue mission to the Raft – but we needed all the help we could get, and Steve insisted it was his fault they were there in the first place.”
“His fault” Clint looks at Tony. “That is what he said. When he got us out.”
His expression makes it clear that he doesn’t know what is worse, the fact that some take no blame at all and some take far more blame than is their share.
Steve Rogers is not the man who fought to put them there. He is not the fool who thought – or pretended to think, he’s not sure which is worse – there would be no real stakes, that they could all just walk away after it.
“I didn’t know he was hurt that bad” Tony admits. He looks genuinely disturbed.
“I think it is about time you came clean about what happened” Strange says quietly “I admit I was not a member of the team at the time and if you wish me to stay out of this, I will. You need not tell me. But the others deserve to know.”
Tony looks at the eyes on him. He hesitates for a long moment before coming to a decision. “Alright! Alright.”
“Go on, then” Rhodey says “And you should stay too, Doc. You’re in the team now.”
“I will do better than tell you” Tony declares “I will show you. You know my suit’s cameras. And the nano drones that take the eagle eye shots. I have the video still. Want to watch?”
“Yes” Natasha answers for all of them.
“Wait” Sam interrupts “Let me go tell Steve and Bucky. If they want to watch, let them come in. If they don’t, they shouldn’t have to walk in on it unwarned.”
……………………………………..
Tony being Tony, ‘show you’ means a 4D holographic projection. It is like they are inside the Siberian base, standing beside Tony during that final confrontation.
“Manchurian candidate?” Sam glares at Tony, who shrugs.
“What? I had to say something.”
“And there was absolutely no other nickname you could think of? “
“Watch what happens.”
“Wait” Natasha pauses “You went there with T’Challa. You had him stay hidden – or at least allowed him to stay hidden.”
“What else could I do? There wasn’t any way we could actually talk it out if he was going to go for Bucky at the first chance.”
“You promised a truce” Stephen points out “You implied you were going to fight on the same side – and you didn’t tell either of them T’Challa was also there? The guy who was – at the time – the one who wanted to kill Bucky? Had he agreed to the truce?”
“Sort of.”
“Sort of?”
“We can just call T’Challa and ask” Sam suggests.
“That can wait” Rhodey interrupts “Moving on.”
The video. Tony turns away. He doesn’t want to watch this again.
There is a long silence as the grisly scene plays out.
They all know by now that the Winter Soldier had murdered Howard Stark, but still, seeing it play out in front of them is still unsettling. Pepper is glad that the angle of the camera means they don’t have to see Maria Stark’s death nor hear what is happening.
“Zemo showed you this?” Unsurprisingly, Natasha is the first to find her voice.
Tony nods “I watched this. And he was standing right there. Bucky Barnes. The man who murdered my parents.”
“It was Winter Soldier who murdered your parents” Clint declares. There is a surprising amount of vitriol in his normally cheerful voice “It was HYDRA. Not the puppet they used.”
Tony either does not notice the tone or chooses to ignore it. “It was his hands. His face. His name among the last things my father said. I can lip read well enough to know that. Sergeant Barnes.”
Clint has gone paler. Natasha places a hand on his arm unobtrusively. Pepper and Rhodey move closer to Tony.
“I guess no one can be blamed for getting worked up about this” Rhodey’s voice is low.
Then he flinches as Tony’s holographic image darts forward at Bucky. They watch the fight in horrified silence.
Pepper lets out a sharp cry as Tony aims missiles at Steve and Bucky.
Strange winces as he watches Tony kicking the nearly unconscious Bucky in the head over and over again, the surgeon fully aware what each blow of the metal boots does to the enhanced but still flesh and blood body.
Even Rhodey has to turn away when he hears Holographic Tony yell “I don’t care!”
There is a thunderous silence as finally the holographic show winds to a stop, the final image being Tony alone in the bunker, the shield abandoned beside him.
The actual Tony looks at his teammates, searching in their eyes for a reaction, any reaction.
No one speaks for so long that Tony opens his mouth for a quip just to break the tension, but Natasha forestalls him “Steve Rogers is a fucking idiot.”
Tony nods “The reactor…”
Natasha stares at him disbelievingly “This is what happened? This was your reaction? And then Steve – Steve – was the one to apologize? He was the one to make the first move?”
Disbelief is written all over her face. Tony begins to realize that the reaction is different from what he initially thought.
“Please don’t tell me Bucky apologized too” Sam pleads. “And if he did – the big idiot has a guilt complex heavier than even that damn vibranium arm of his can lift – please don’t tell me you actually had the nerve to accept it as if you deserved it.”
“What the hell where you thinking of, Tony?” Pepper demands. “This.. This was… Oh God. No wonder Bucky reacted like that…”
Tony turns to Rhodey, almost in desperation “Rhodey…”
But even Rhodes is shaking his head in half despair, half disbelief “I… I said no one can be blamed for getting worked up about seeing that, and I mean it. But this was not just ‘getting worked up’, Tony. This was attempted murder. Brutal murder.”
“You knew he wasn’t guilty” Clint snarls “You knew he couldn’t help himself. And still you decided he needs to die.”
“You tried to murder him in front of his best friend” Natasha adds, her eyes blazing. “Cap let you off easy – just smashing up your suit so that you couldn’t keep trying to murder Bucky.”
“I knew you guys had fought in Siberia after you found out” Sam mutters “But I thought it was…Like, you punching Bucky a few times, Steve getting in the way, or something. Or that Steve had started the fight thinking you were going to make a move to kill Bucky. That it was something normal, something understandable. But this?”
“It wasn’t just Bucky” Tony lowers his eyes “It was… Cap knew. He never told me. He hid it from me.”
“Steve SUSPECTED!” Natasha raises her voice for the first time in the argument “He suspected, based on what Zola was rambling about! Suspected that HYDRA might have had a hand in your parents’ deaths, based on a one second clip we saw while that lunatic was trying to stall for time and the bunker was about to blow up around us!”
“And what the hell was he supposed to tell you?” Clint demands “Oh, by the way, Tony, your dad – the guy you still have massive issues about and no inclination to pay a fucking therapist to sort out – was meddling with the supersoldier serum for HYDRA and got whacked by them? And the guy who did the killing might possibly be my brainwashed best friend whom I’m trying to track down? The best friend who is practically the only one I have left from what was to me just five years ago?”
“You-“ Tony starts forward, but Rhodey and Strange step between him and Clint.
“Guys. Let’s keep a clear head, okay?” Rhodey pleads.
“And” Strange frowns “if your rage was directed against Steve, why were you so focused on killing Bucky?”
“Oh, that’s easy to guess” Natasha mutters “He was hurting – so he wanted to hurt Steve. And the best way to do that was through Bucky.”
Tony glares at her “I was wearing the armor! If I wanted them dead, they would be!”
“You shot multiple missiles and laser blasts at them. At their heads. You landed blows strong enough to dent concrete when they missed” Strange points out “If Steve hadn’t reflected that last blast with his shield, it would have hit Bucky full force. A shot that made your armor stagger. Imagine that hitting a human – enhanced, but still basically human – body. And are you telling me you are unaware of the effects of multiple blows to the head with a metallic boot?”
“I… I could have killed them!” Tony shakes his head “I… If I wanted to…”
“Did you black out during the fight?” Strange raises an eyebrow “Because what I am seeing here is definitely murderous intent. Which you announced multiple times.”
“Which you wanted done the old fashioned way” Natasha’s voice is coldly furious “You were beating – kicking – Bucky to death. And you almost succeeded.”
”And Cap still left you unharmed” Clint sounds like he can barely believe it “From the start to the finish all Steve and Bucky are doing is trying to disable the suit – the weapon you are using against them – and trying to stay alive.”
Tony turns away “I should have known you’d take it like this.”
“And they didn’t even just leave you there” Pepper adds “Steve called me. Gave me your coordinates.”
“Blast Cap for being a boy scout” Clint mutters “If I was there I’d just have called Ross with your coordinates, and left you to explain just why you are in Siberia with no permission, against the direct orders from the Accords authority.”
“Come on” Sam shrugs “being on the Raft was bad enough on its own – we really didn’t need his company as well.”
Tony sighs “You saw that video. You saw Bucky Barnes-“
“For the last time, that was NOT Bucky!” Clint roars.
“Watch it” Tony struggles to call up a casual tone “You take it more personal, you’ll be sounding like Cap.”
“More personal?” Clint is almost choking with rage. “Are you asking me why your declaring someone is to blame for what they did while being puppetted is personal for me? For me?”
“New York” Tony acknowledges, finally catching on.
“I killed people there, Tony” Clint continues “I remember doing it. I remember not having a choice. Being under someone else’s will. My hands killed too. Killed my friends. People I worked with. People who deserved far better. Their loved ones? Their siblings, friends, at least in one case, parents? They were still with SHIELD after I came back. They knew what I had done.”
“And if one of them had done to Clint half of what you did to Bucky” Natasha declares “I would have made sure that was the last thing they ever did. If I was in Steve’s place and it was my friend you tried to kill, I wouldn’t have stopped with demolishing just the suit.”
Tony looks at all of them, trying to spot a sympathetic face. But even Pepper looks away.
“I… I know I was out of line” he admits “But… I was…Was shocked…”
“If being shocked– or enraged, or terrified – makes you lose control of yourself enough to attempt murder” Strange points out “ that in itself should disqualify you from wearing that WMD suit.”
“You never apologized” Pepper’s voice is quiet “Even if everything you did in Siberia can be excused away because you were emotionally compromised, you had time to get over it. You had time to think of what you did and why. You never apologized. Steve did – for not telling you about it, even if it was just suspicions at the time. Bucky did – though he shouldn’t have had to. But not you.”
There is really nothing he can say to that. So Tony does the only thing he can do- walk away. No one calls after him.
The suit responds to his command and he takes to the air, flying as fast as he can, no destination in mind. He just wants to fly as far as he can from what he did. From what they now know he did.
Because, really, what is there to say?