Chapter Text
Jason was dying , shot through the heart , bleeding out all the repressed emotions only a gifted led zeppelin mix tape could encompass.
The how and why weren't important right now . What was important was that Timmers , Timbo , baby bird , was now a littleral babe in arms .
His arms
And had just decided that now was a good time to stop cooing and latch onto his own thumb and snuggle into Jason's chest .
Jason was dying . Of cuteness , of adorableness ,of his inner mother hen ripping out of his soul and fully taking over his brain.
Jason Todd , badass , crime lord , Red Hood ; RIP . Hello and welcome Jason Todd, mother of baby Tim-tam , keep ya damn paws off Dick face .
Speaking of Dick , and his face , he could feel rather than see the idiots mile wide grin and manic desire to rip Tim away from him . Mama Jay isn't gonna be having that , nope , no sir .
" Stop it "
" Stop what ?"
" Looking at him like you're gonna get anywhere near him "
" But it's Timmy , and he's a baby . And I wanna hold him "
Oh god he was pouting, the famous Grayson pout , just as famous as his ass ,if not as prolific.
That was mean , probably, but totes true . And it was not gonna work . Nuh uh .
" You can keep dreamin , you'd probably drop him"
"I would not !"
" You can't even be trusted to separate out the whites and colors when doing laundry. You think I'm gonna trust you with a baby ?"
"Alfred does the laundry !"
" No , Alfred does your laundry , the rest of us use the hampers . Like civilized people "
And he was pouting again , see , prolific .
A shadow out the corner of his eye drew his attention .
Bruce .
The dark night himself ,
The brooder extraudinaire ,
The man therapy was invented for .
The man who was slowly getting closer to him .
The man who was looking at Tim-tak with a gleam in his eye .
Oh. Oh no . No ,no no .
He was fending off the human octopus that was Dicksickle ,he was not gonna let Mr Emotionally Constipated 2022 get anywhere near him .
"What are you doing ?"
"I'm taking Tim , he needs some tests and then he needs to sleep . I can do that while you both finish up "
Red Hood ood was definitely dead , Mama Todd was now firmly at home in his brain , placing doilies on his synapses and making fresh focchia out of his ability to share baby brothers .
" You're gonna do that . You're gonna do that , wearing that? Look at you , you look like a walking nightmare , you smell like a sewer . Timbit is at risk of tetanus just being in the same room as you . "
"Jay -"
" No , nope , non , nada . Not happening."
"I'm his father , I think its best if I -"
" Not happening . If I don't trust dick to hold him , I definitely dont trust you to not upset him . He's a baby , he can't exactly retaliate if you annoy him ."
"I'm not going to -"
" Yes , yes you will. You'll do something stupid and make him cry and then you'll try and make him stop, while looking like some nightmare Eldritch vomited out after a bad night on the town . No not happening . You can finish up while I go find Alfie "
"Jay -"
" Going to find Alfie ,now . Better hurry up if you's wanna finish up before sunrise "
---
Alfie was his favourite
Alfie ,
The man ,
The myth ,
The saint ,who was currently pouring tea into his favorite mug . It was a comically bad sculpt of Superman mug , complete with wonky, dead eyes and enormous chin . Tim had found it in a 100 yen store in Tokyo a year back and proudly presented it at his homecoming dinner . In front of Clark , he'd looked so insulted . It was hilarious .
"I've pulled out some of the emergency supplies and made up some bottles . They're on the 3rd shelf of the refrigerator . And I've set up the bottle warmer on the express setting , so when you need to, just place the bottle inside and it should be ready in a few minutes or so . "
"Thanks Alfie , wouldn't know what to do with out ya "
" Of course , lad . Now its far past my own bed time ,so I'll bid you both good night . If you need me , you know where I am "
Alfred dropped a kiss to his forehead and then to Tim's , who was currently sleeping peacefully . See Bruce, he can look after kids .
The tea, as always ,was heavenly . Camamile with a drizzle of honey , seeping into his bones and washing out the adrenaline of the night . Tim had become a constant weight in the crook of arm, had been for the last few hours ,except for the few minutes it took to put him into the onesie from 'emergency scenario ' box .
The box wasn't even a box , more of a storage unit filled with all sorts of weird and wonderful things . Like baby clothes and milk formula , civilian disguises and oddly enough a whole load of knock off league costumes . He'd originally thought they were just an odd place alfie liked to stick dick's halloween costumes , but no, apparently they were part of some complicated fallout plan if a stray batsuit was ever found . Whatever , not his cave ,not his problem.
Speaking of problems , he now needed to figure out where they were going to sleep . He never really slept at the manor any more and his room wasn't set up for small people with grabby hands. Tim's room was probably best , nothing in there that would explode if knocked or grabbed
Tim was out like a light , not even reacting to his steady trudge up the manors back staircase .
The one no one really knew about , cause the main one was one that grabbed everyone's attention. Especially when Dick the flying rodent was walking down the banister . Idiot .
See , this staircase was quicker . Had to be cause it was the servants staircase , can't be a good servant if youre not where the rich folks think you should be . Plus B , being oddly forward thinking , had outfitted these staircases with safe rooms and storage units .
Need a random batarang at 3 in morning , back staircase . Hide the big old red helmet you forgot to leave in the cave , back staircase . Demon brat gunnin for your hide cause you "borrowed " his dog for an undercover gig , back staircase .
Thing was like Narnia . Actually , the back staircase could be a good place to, no , it would freak Timbo out if he woke up naked in one of the saferooms . Freaked out Tim is not fun Tim, freaked out Tim is Jesus take the wheel and save me from this rabid half pint vigilante .
Back to plan A, Tim's room. Plus short fry has his Netflix set up in there. The Netflix account they all sneakily use cause Jay's off the grid, see and Timber is fine with that . Dick just can't figure out how to set up his own account and move over his stuff, guy might have a Mensa level IQ but he was raised by Bruce . And Dami gets it free with living in the manor - lucky brat .
Said brat is also looking at him from the third floor landing of the staircase . Oh fun .
"Mornin shorty "
" Todd ,why do you have a baby ?"
"It's Tim "
" Tt , I suppose I could make a comment about his competence, or lack thereof . But seeing as he is too young to process it ,I won't waste my breath "
" Aww ,that's sweet . I can't imagine why lantern's afraid of you "
" Jordon is a buffoon . Im surprised to see Richard hasn't freed you from your duty to carry Timothy . "
"Oh he tried , big bad bat tried too . Which is why I'm gonna go hunker down in Timberlina's room . So he can sleep and I can mess up Dickies watch next list . "
"May I join, hes yet to apologize for embarrassing me at the the schools parents evening . And ...I may have some suggestions for his watch list ."
" Why not . I'll show you how Tim hacks his Spotify too , you ain't seen nothing until you've seen Nightwing pull a dead stop on patrol cause Dolly Parton's just scared the shit outta him ."