Archive of Our Own

In hindsight, Tony realizes that he's been having symptoms for weeks, but at the time, he had attributed them to alcohol withdrawal – Steve had finally managed to guilt him into not drinking. Tony hadn't been sober for this long since he was thirteen, and yeah, he had been fine after the first couple of weeks (except for the craving) so it had been strange for physical symptoms to come back after over four months, but Tony hadn't thought about it much. It had just been a little nausea, low blood pressure, that sort of thing, nothing too dramatic.

Okay, the eating had been weird. Tony had never been one for much food, but lately he had developed a weird foible for honey-roasted peanuts, and tinned tuna. It had gone so far that one night, Tony had been standing in the kitchen and eating peanuts and tuna in turns and had the brilliant idea to just mix the two, kill two birds with one stone. So he had made a bowl and mixed the tuna and peanuts and eaten both with a big spoon.

Later he had been a bit embarrassed by that, but that didn't stop him from doing it again. Though he made sure he didn't have any witnesses, because he really didn't need that. He got teased enough for his eating habits.

Loki had been weird too. Usually he sought Tony out every couple of weeks, sometimes more often (and maybe Tony should be ashamed, but it's just sex, it's not like they tell each other any secrets, apart from when Loki wants to ruin some other villain's plans, and anyways, Loki doesn't really count as an enemy anymore anyway), but the last time he had, Loki had left very suddenly. They had lain in bed post-sex, enjoying the aftermath but definitely not cuddling; their bodies just touched because they were too lazy to move, that's all. And suddenly Loki had sat up very abruptly, put one hand on Tony's belly and said, wide-eyed, "Oh." The next moment he had vanished. Tony had been a little put-off about the whole thing (usually they were both up for at least another round after a short break) but who can know what goes on in Loki's brain at any time. It had bothered him way more than he was willing to admit, though, that he hadn't seen Loki since.

Things had started to become a bit strange when his teammates had started to look a little peaked. Nobody says anything about it until one morning Clint stumbles into the kitchen, slumps into a chair and groans, "This fucking bug."

Steve grumbles in agreement, but Tony looks up. "What bug?"

"Stomach bug," Clint elaborates.

"Clint and I have been feeling a bit sick lately," Steve adds.

Suddenly Tony remembers his own nausea. It hadn't been bad enough to alert him and it had gotten better already anyway, but yeah, he's been feeling sick. "So you've both been sick for over two months and nobody thought it's strange?" Even as he says it, Tony realizes just how strange it really was.

"I'm fine," Bruce speaks up, earning himself a couple of nasty glares.

"I as well am feeling healthy," Thor booms. He's standing in front of the fridge, getting out food that makes the others grimace and hold their bellies. Steve and Bruce have very definite ideas of what counts as breakfast food, and left-over take-out clearly doesn't count. Clint's just overall against food at the moment.

"Also, what do you mean, two months?" Steve asks, frowning at Tony. "It's been less than a week."

Tony tilts his head. Yeah, he maybe should've shut up.

"Tony, have you been feeling sick in the mornings as well?" Bruce asks, sounding alarmed.

"For two months?" Steve adds, reprimand clear. Tony should've said something immediately in Steve's opinion, but honestly, it had just been a little throwing up in the mornings, he'd been fine after a couple of hours. If it had been more dramatic he might've said something, but it always went away.

"If you put it like that it sounds worrying," Tony protests, "but honestly, it's fine. It goes away after a couple of hours, and anyway, it's been getting better lately." As a demonstration, he raises the jar of pickles he's eating out of. Three weeks ago, he wouldn't have been able to even look at food without getting sick at this time of day. The pickles had been earning him nauseated looks ever since he pulled them out of the fridge, but Thor is getting the brunt of those with his Indian take-out and cold pizza.

"Two months!" Steve says again, the way other people might say "you killed her!". "For over two months you've been feeling sick but you didn't say anything?"

This is how they all end up in Bruce's lab, giving up ten milliliters of their blood each, even Natasha, who hadn't been at all happy that she had to interrupt her morning training.

Two hours later Bruce comes into the living room, frowning the frown of the deeply confused. "So, Natasha, Thor and I are fine, but Clint, Steve and Tony have significantly enhanced levels of hCG in their blood," he says. There's no such thing as patient-doctor confidentiality for the Avengers. "For men, this usually means they have cancer." He glances at Natasha. "For women, it means they're pregnant." But Natasha hadn't been feeling sick, and her blood is fine.

Tony raises both eyebrows. "So, you're saying Steve, Clint and I have cancer."

"Well, it does seem unlikely, but you must admit that our lives are primed for the unlikely," Bruce explains hesitantly. "I think we should all do MRI scans. What is especially puzzling is Steve; with his enhanced metabolism he shouldn't be getting sick at all. Up until this point, he's shown complete immunity to all types of illness. Also, the nausea isn't exactly explained by this."

So they all head over into Bruce's lab. The mood is understandably glum; it's clear now that this isn't a normal, harmless kind of occurrence. "Tony should go first," Bruce decides, "he's been having the symptoms for the longest, and his hcG levels are by far the highest."

Wonderful.

Fifteen minutes later, Tony takes the headphones off and wanders over into the other room, where Bruce is staring at the scan results. The others (Thor and Natasha included, for moral support) are sitting around in equal state of shock; Clint is resting his head against the wall and has a wet towel on his forehead.

Tony frowns. "Hey, what's up?"

"Well," Bruce says, sounding dazed. He calls up a cross-section of the insides of Tony's stomach and points towards an area in Tony's lower belly. "It looks like you're pregnant."

"What." Tony strides over to Bruce and stares at the picture. The grey, round area Bruce is pointing at is not too big, and inside, there's a tiny curled up thing with a head almost as big as its body. It has legs and arms and it's definitely there

"About three months, I would say, judging from the size," Bruce says weakly. He gestures towards his laptop where he googled "fetus 4 cm size" and has a page open titled "Average fetal length and weight chart".

"I think I'm going to be sick," Tony says.

Wordlessly, Bruce gestures towards a door leading to a toilet. "Clint already tested it out for you."

Feeling faint, Tony sinks into a chair. He wants to ask if Bruce is sure, but hell, he can see it himself, perfectly there on the screen in shades of grey. "How the fuck- I'm a man, I'm not even biologically equipped for this."

"Yeah." Bruce gestures towards the others. "Neither are they. We're thinking… Loki."

Of fucking course. Of course. And Tony can't even- wait. Does this mean Loki had sex with all of them?

Wide-eyed and inexplicably hurt, Tony turns his head to stare at his friends. They all look shocky, but none of them seem guilty. Only Thor meets his eyes. "I do not know how my brother accomplished this," he says, "but it does sound like his idea of a joke."

Ah. So they're thinking it didn't happen in the conventional way. That's good, but it doesn't mean Loki didn't actually have sex with them all – he certainly did with Tony. It puts Tony into something of a dilemma; should he say that it wasn't all magic?

Well, maybe not like that.

"Well, he's a shapeshifter, isn't he?"

Thor blinks and then turns deep read. Someone makes a choking noise.

"Ah," Bruce says. "So you're saying…" He trails off.

"No way," Clint says loudly. "I didn't have any sex with a guy in seven months."

Tony raises both eyebrows. "With girls?" Loki is magic after all. It doesn't really make sense, why would Loki impregnate them all, and why would he sleep with Tony for the better part of a year before doing it? For a prank it's way too elaborate, it doesn't quite fit together. It doesn't make sense.

Clint turns a little red. "Nope," he says. Steve wordlessly shakes his head.

Well. So much for that.

"Tony?" Bruce asks.

Tony blinks. Oh, Bruce is asking whether he- "Well, yeah." Actually, with Loki, about eleven weeks ago, just like the chart says. That fits. Though they also had sex fourteen weeks ago, and nine weeks ago, and seven weeks, and not since then, so why would Tony get pregnant especially that one time-

Suddenly, Tony recalls the last time they were together and how abruptly Loki had left. He had known. Tony is sure of it.

Motherfucker.

"Well, I'd say we scan Clint and Steve and then we'll take it from there," Bruce says soothingly.

Half an hour later Bruce is squinting at scans of Steve and Clint's bellies. "I can see a little bit, here," he says, gesturing towards the same area where Tony's… that he pointed at in Tony's belly. "It's really small, though. Definitely less than eight weeks. Going from the morning sickness I'd say you two are about five or six weeks along."

Morning sickness. Jesus fuck.

Bruce looks at them all seriously. "I think it's time we contact S.H.I.E.L.D."

Three hours later the Avengers plus Fury plus Coulson plus Hill plus Wilson from IT are sitting around a round table. Fury looks like he's this far from having a conniption.

"So let's recap," Bruce says, about the only calm person in the room. "All of you minus Natasha, Thor and me are pregnant, around six weeks along, excepting Tony, who is around eleven weeks along."

"I am going to kill that sonuvabitch," Fury says. It's scary because his voice is perfectly calm and pleasant.

Thor frowns. "I would appreciate if Loki's parentage be kept out of this." He sounds somewhat pissed, but clearly he understands that this is an extraordinary situation.

"What I want to know," Fury asks with barely restrained fury (hah, pun unintended), "is how the hell this happened!"

Of course nobody has an idea (and Tony highly doubts Fury had sex with Loki in any form, mostly because he doubts Fury has sex at all) so about two hours of pointless discussion later they separate, each seeking privacy to deal with this. The general assumptions are that it most likely happened through something they ate, probably not the same thing because an overlap between the Avengers, Fury and Wilson from IT is all but impossible except with magic being involved, and that they just don't know. Bruce probably isn't pregnant because his cells change exponentially when he hulks out, which is a good thing because nobody wants to imagine a cranky, pregnant Hulk. Natasha isn't pregnant because she can't be, and the only explanation they have for Thor not being pregnant is the fact that he's Loki's brother. It's another piece of circumstantial evidence pointing towards Loki. Tony doesn't mention that he has some evidence that isn't at all circumstantial.

He doesn't need to, anyway. By this point, they're all but sure that it's Loki; it can't be anybody else, and nobody can really see why anybody else but the God of Mischief would do this to them – and why they would do only this if they had the opportunity to do much more.

Tony decides not to tell anyone about the sex. Maybe he would have if he saw the point, but so far he hadn't deemed it necessary, and he'd really rather not deal with the fall-out. And there would be one, and it would be extreme, nevermind that ever since he had come back from Asgard after being punished (a punishment Thor wouldn't elaborate on, and neither would Loki) he hadn't really done all that much. Mostly, Tony gets the impression, Loki seems to lurk around and play pranks on everybody (including the villains the Avengers fight nowadays). Every now and then he creates an elaborate scheme when he gets bored or thinks they're getting bored (he doesn't understand the concept of "vacation" and Tony's given up trying to explain), but nothing near the magnitude of the first time the Avengers had engaged him, and nobody dies.

Yeah, Tony wouldn't exactly say that Loki is on the good side, but he certainly wouldn't count him as a villain either. He's more neutral with a tendency to make fun of everybody, an impulse which Tony can certainly understand. That they're having sex is really none of anybody's business, especially since it seems the others' pregnancies don't have anything to do with it. Tony is quite grateful everybody is much too busy right now to get used to the idea of them all being pregnant to question why Tony is five weeks further along than all others.

God, he's pregnant. He still can't really believe it. It hadn't helped that Thor hadn't quite understood that half the fuss they were making was due to the fact that they were male; he didn't seem to find anything strange with that, which is just mindboggling and not something Tony wants to dwell on.

But even putting all that aside, Tony is pretty much the antithesis of what one would consider a good parent. Not even accounting for his superhero activities, he's reckless and careless with his body, doesn't sleep properly, doesn't eat properly. Sure, he doesn't drink anymore and he hasn't smoked since he went off all drugs around fifteen years ago, but still. He's not fit to carry a child.

Not to mention his fitness to be a parent. He doesn't have any role models in that area. He's always had problems maintaining stable relationships, with the most recent example being Pepper – sure, they're still friends, but it had taken them over a year to get there after the end of their relationship. The fact that everybody acted like they had seen their break-up coming when Tony had had no idea just adds to that.

Fuck, if he's ever needed a drink it's now, but he can't have one – quite honestly he wouldn't care about the whole "sober for 140 days" thing but even he isn't that much of an asshole to get drunk while he's pregnant.

He doesn't even know if he's going to keep it. Fuck that, Bruce had hesitantly said that it's highly unlikely they would manage to make it past the first trimester; their bodies just aren't equipped for pregnancy. That doesn't explain how they had gotten pregnant in the first place, though.

And Tony's craving honey-roasted peanuts and tuna.

Screw it, everybody knows what's going on anyway (and really, in hindsight this should've made him very suspicious, nevermind that he's always had phases where he craved one food especially). Tony heads over into the kitchen, completely ignoring Natasha, Clint and Steve who are sitting there over cups of coffee, and makes himself a big bowl of tuna and honeyed peanuts. While he's at it, he suddenly gets an inspiration and adds a bit of vanilla ice cream, which is just delicious, so he adds two more scoops and mixes everything thoroughly with a fork.

"Oh my god, that's nasty," Clint says faintly.

Ah. Tony had forgotten his audience. Bowl in hand he turns around with a defiant expression, still stirring.

"Well, this explains why the tuna's been vanishing lately," Natasha says dryly.

Tony sticks out his tongue, which is very mature of him, but fuck that. He's pregnant and craving tuna with honey-roasted peanuts and vanilla ice cream.

"Uh, Tony." Steve clears his throat. "Not that I'm not happy to see you eating, but… do you think that's healthy?"

"Don't tell me you didn't do any research," Tony complains. "As long as they're not non-food, you're supposed to indulge your cravings." Also as long as you maintain a healthy diet, but he's not going to mention that part, it'll just make Steve nag. Tony's diet is one of Steve's favorite topics to nag at him about.

"Please take that away from me," Clint begs. He looks a little green around the gills, so Tony rolls his eyes, shows him the finger and stomps off, though not without getting a big spoon first.

About an hour later, Steve finds him in one of the guest rooms that Tony picked specifically because he figured nobody would accidentally stumble over him there. He's sitting on the bed and watching TV while idly playing around with the new design for a big arc reactor, something that might at one point become commercially available. At first he'd fiddled with the boosters of the suit, but then he'd suddenly realized that he wouldn't be able wear that anymore. In just a few months he'd be too big for the suit, and until then he wouldn't be able to participate in fights either. Getting thrown around certainly wouldn't be healthy for the baby. This had pissed him off to no end and also, if he's honest with himself, completely terrified him. It certainly had driven the point home just how much his life was about to change.

If he'd keep the baby, of course. Miscarriage was, according to Bruce, all but inevitable after all.

"Are you okay?" Steve asks, carefully sitting down on the bed.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that question?" Tony returns, not looking up from the tablet.

Steve sighs. "We're all in the same boat here, Tony." He's silent for a moment. "I don't think it's funny."

"You never think Loki's pranks are funny." It's true; Steve always wears this disapproving frowny face no matter how hilarious something Loki does actually is. Even that time when Loki turned all politicians into kittens, and that had been top notch entertainment.

"Yes, but usually I can at least see why some people would think they are," Steve argues. He says "some people" in such a way that Tony means he is included in that; it's not meant in a derisive way. Steve just acknowledges that he and Tony have very different attitudes where humor is concerned. "This time, I can't see that at all. Can you?"

No, of course not. This isn't funny, and Tony can't shake the suspicion that that's not what this is about. It just doesn't fit together; there's something he isn't getting, possibly information that he's missing, and it's driving him crazy.

"You know we're not going to stay like this," Steve eventually says when the silence stretches between them. He can't even say the word "pregnant".

"Yes, Steve," Tony grits out. "Was there something you wanted?" He feels bad about snapping at his best friend like that, but right now he just can't deal with Steve and his goodness.

Steve sighs and reaches out to clasp his shoulder. "I'll be in my room if you need me." Then he leaves.

Tony doesn't see any of the others for the rest of the day, mostly because he avoids them. He only enters the kitchen after ascertaining via Jarvis that it'll be empty, and he actually eats some fruit, mostly because he feels guilty. He doesn't make any progress all day in trying to figure this out, but as it turns out, he doesn't need to.

It's late evening and Tony is in one of his bedrooms – the one by his workshop that the others can't enter, mostly because they can't enter his workshop. Excepting Steve, but Steve got the message and hasn't bothered Tony again. Maybe Pepper would have, but she's away on a conference for the whole week, so she doesn't even know yet what's going on.

This turns out to be a very good thing, because Loki comes to visit him.

It's dark in the room. Tony is lying on his back and staring at the ceiling; the arc reactor in his chest emits enough light for him to orient himself. He immediately knows when he's not alone any longer.

He's been half expecting for Loki to show up all day but had been steadily repressing the thought, so now that Loki is here he has no idea how to react. "Is this all a joke?" he hears himself ask. Strangely, he doesn't sound angry; he would have thought he would.

"No," Loki says after a moment. He shifts and kneels on the bed so Tony can now see him from the corners of his eyes.

"What is it, then?"

"Protection."

They're both quiet. Tony feels strangely exhausted. He just can't deal with this any longer.

Loki lets out a breath and reaches out, fingertips brushing over Tony's belly. Right above the spot Bruce showed him in the scan.

"You knew," Tony accuses quietly, turning his head. Loki meets his gaze without flinching. "The last time we met. You knew."

"I figured it out then," Loki corrects. "I… didn't know it could happen. It never has before."

Tony sneers. "I would feel special if not half my friends and a couple of people I work with were sharing the honor."

With a sigh, Loki withdraws his hand. "You don't understand. I thought you maybe would." Looking down at his lap for a moment, Loki visibly gathers his words. "As soon as I realized that you were pregnant, I knew I had to do something."

"So you impregnated half the people I associate with?" Tony hisses, pushing himself up. "What the fuck, Loki?"

"They're not really pregnant, you imbecile," Loki hisses back. "Think about it! What would your precious allies do to you if they found out you were pregnant? They're not complete morons, they would have figured out eventually that I had something to do with it. What would they have done to you then?"

Tony grimaces. He had been thinking about that, actually. "They would've called me a traitor." Fury, definitely. The others perhaps as well – they certainly wouldn't have been happy.

"They would have taken you apart," Loki says, looking at Tony intently. "They would have deposed you. They would have taken everything from you, everything you know and own and are, including our child. They would have locked you up and waited until the birth, and if you were lucky, they might have kept you locked up in some lab to keep producing technology for them. You would never have gotten out, and you would never have seen the child again. Nor would I."

Tony wants to discard that idea and call it paranoid, but he can't, because fact of the matter is, it doesn't seem all that unlikely. It makes him nauseous to have it spelled out so plainly.

Loki puts two hands on Tony's shoulders and leans closer. "The others aren't pregnant, but what matters is that they believe they are, and that it was a prank. They'll all be expecting to miscarriage, so there'll be no surprise if it doesn't go anywhere. But they'll also not be too suspicious if you don't."

"Won't I?" Tony asks, voice small.

"No."

Tony closes his eyes and lets Loki keep him upright for a moment. "Tell me the rest," he whispers.

"It's not flawless," Loki explains quietly. "There's a four week gap between you and them, and it'll make them suspicious. But there's enough room for doubt there so they won't touch you right now, and your friends will protect you. They'll blame me and my pranks and not suspect for a while yet that it's more in your case."

Tony opens his eyes. "What about the baby?"

When Loki doesn't say anything, Tony clenches his jaw. "You were going to take it, weren't you?"

Of course he would. No sane person would let Tony keep their child.

"I will take you both," Loki whispers. "If I have to. If they do anything to you. But hopefully this will keep you save enough."

That shouldn't hurt the way it does. "So this is your way of getting rid of me?" Tony pulls out of Loki's grasp, turns his face away.

"Oh, for- did you eat a moron for breakfast today or is this making you stupid?" Taking hold of Tony's shoulders, Loki turns him back so they're facing each other again. "You told me, you said to me that becoming Iron Man is the best thing that ever happened to you. You said that it gave your life a purpose the way nothing else did."

Oh. Yeah, Tony had said that during a sentimental moment. It's the truth, too.

"You wouldn't be happy kept hidden in a safe place like a treasure," Loki whispers. "You wouldn't be able to deal with it."

That's the truth as well. Tony would deconstruct within half a year, he's sure of that. Still… "So you would take our child and leave me behind?"

Loki's hands move from Tony's shoulders to cup his face. "I don't see any way how you could stay here and continue like this and keep our child. My child. Because that's why they'd take it, because it's related to me." His face looks anguished when he continues, "I've had children before, Tony, and someone always took them from me. I cannot let that happen again."

Tony remembers that. Loki had told him before, in a particularly bad night about five months ago. They had both gotten spectacularly drunk (because as it turns out, Loki can get drunk if he wants to) and exchanged stories of their screwed-up families. Odin makes Howards Stark look like the Father of the Year.

And Loki is right. Tony can see no way how he could keep the child without the constant threat of abduction by S.H.I.E.L.D., and even if there were a way, Loki wouldn't be able to see his own child. Tony couldn't do that to him, not knowing how much it still hurt him not to be able to see his other children.

"You're right," he whispers. Besides, what was Tony even thinking? He isn't a father figure. He couldn't raise a child.

Loki looks at him, face pained. "I don't like it any better than you do," he says. "I don't want my child not to know both its parents. I don't want for you to have to decide between a life in hiding and a life without your child. But I don't know what other options we have."

"You're right," Tony says again.

Loki is silent for a moment. Eventually, he puts a hand on Tony's chest, right above the arc reactor, dimming its glow for a moment. "Sleep," he murmurs, pushing Tony onto his back.

There's likely magic at play, because Tony actually does fall asleep.

Two weeks after that, Clint reports an abrupt stop of the morning sickness; a few tests reveal that he's not pregnant anymore. In the course of the following week, all the others "miscarry" as well, excepting Wilson from IT and Tony. Four weeks after the discovery of the pregnancies Wilson from IT too isn't pregnant anymore. Tony finds himself under intense scrutiny after that, but while the morning sickness does abate, a quick test reveals that he's still pregnant. Naturally.

Six weeks after the discovery of the pregnancy Tony gets summoned to a meeting with Fury. The man is suspicious, but he's stabbing around in the dark and it doesn't go anywhere. He has to let Tony go without it having gone anywhere.

But when Tony gets back he finds Thor waiting for him. "We need to talk," he says earnestly.

Tony decides to do this in the conference room; a neutral location where they won't be overheard.

Thor looks at him seriously. "This is not a joke," he says. "I thought so at the time, but I believe by this point it has become obvious that it is not. You are truly with child."

Tony doesn't say anything.

"I have thought much about this," Thor tells him after a moment of silence. "But I do not understand. Without this prank, nobody would have known that the child is my brother's."

Tony raises both eyebrows. "Thor, did nobody explain to you that men here don't get pregnant?" He still can't quite believe that this is a normal occurrence on Asgard, but it sure seems like it is.

"The Lady Pepper did say that," Thor remembers, "But then she said that some men are born in the bodies of women, and some women born in the bodies of men."

Oh, for god's sake. "Yeah, that's true, but it's still controversial, and it doesn't automatically mean that it's normal for a man to get pregnant. And it's not the case here," Tony explains. He's going to have a word with Pepper about confusing Thor unduly.

Thor frowns. "I am not sure I understand what it is you are saying."

"I'm a man," Tony spells it out. "Born in the body of a man. It's not a hard leap to make, going from this to Loki. There are few other people on the planet who could manage to make me pregnant." He's not sure he should explain any more to Thor; after all, Thor is Odin's son. Loki would definitely be against Thor knowing the truth, and there's a lot of history there between them.

Thinking about it all, Tony realizes that he's at a turning point. If he doesn't tell Thor what's going on, Thor won't be able to help them. But if he does tell him, Odin might end up on his doorstep with the intention of taking his child away from him.

It all comes down to what Thor thinks about Odin's taking away Loki's children. Tony has done his homework and read up on them (and he still shudders at the stories, because holy fuck, no wonder Loki has a difficult relationship with his family), and Thor hasn't been directly involved in any of the things that happened them as far as Tony can tell, but he also hadn't helped Loki. Tony has no idea what Thor truly thinks, and he suspects Loki doesn't know much more either.

Tony's just about to do it, take the leap, ask Thor, possibly risk everything, but then thinks of the things Loki told him in confidence, and he can't do it. People don't usually trust him with their secrets; if at all he finds them out on his own, if he cares enough. But Loki told him about his children, he'd actually cried, even though he hadn't let Tony see. He had pressed his back into Tony's and told him how they had taken his three youngest children from him and put them to trial just because they were scared of them. And that was after they had Loki's second child kill the third oldest and used his entrails to tie Loki to a boulder, and that was before Odin took Sleipnir.

Honestly, Tony doesn't know which of these stories are more nightmarish, and he's not going to ask Thor about them before he's spoken to Loki. He doesn't even know if there'd be any point, if it could help them at all even if Thor were to support them. Maybe it'd be useless.

So Tony gets up, says, "Nice talking to you, Thor," and leaves for his workshop. Once there he texts Loki.

They hadn't spoken since the day Tony (and everybody else) had found out about the pregnancy. Tony had woken up the next day with Loki's number programmed into his phone, but Loki hadn't contacted him, and Tony somehow hadn't been able to do it either. If it were anytime else, by this point Tony would long since have drunkdialled him, but without alcohol that's a little difficult.

He just hadn't been able to get over himself. He knows Loki's reasoning is sound, it makes perfect sense and it's not his fault, but there's a part of Tony that just can't forgive Loki for wanting to take his child away from him. Tony's child.

Because he's fucking pregnant, okay, and he's been able to not think about it for one week, for two weeks, but that's as far as his self-denial can reach if not fuelled with alcohol or other mind-altering substances. And Tony can't even stay awake for longer than one night in a row because every time he does he hears Bruce's voice in his head, the words "any sort of stress for body and mind is bad for the child" and the list Bruce had made him of what exactly constitutes as stress because he didn't trust Tony to know on his own.

It's a baby. A tiny person that Tony is going to fuck up horribly and that doesn't deserve to have Tony as its father, but that doesn't mean Tony can just give it away and go on as before. That he can just hand it over to Loki and forget it even exists. That he can be at all okay with just the knowledge that that's the way it's going to play out.

Tony's never been one to fold his hands in his lap and just accept whatever's happening to him.

Less than two minutes after Tony's sent off the message Loki is there. He's frowning worriedly. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." Tony sits down in his chair. "No."

The frown intensifies. "What is happening?"

Taking a deep breath, Tony says, "I can't just… look, I can't just give up my child."

"I understand that," Loki says; Tony is sure he does, so he doesn't know why he's surprised. "I've been building a number of save places for us, where nobody can find us. I… it's also for you, if you want it. At any point."

Yeah, Tony didn't expect that. He had thought Loki had accepted their last conversation as a final decision. "It's not on Earth, is it?"

Loki tilts his head. "Some of them are." The corner of his mouth pulls up. "I am well-aware that you can't survive without an internet connection."

Tony can't hold back an answering smile. That's thoughtful, and his first thought is that it's unexpectedly so, but that'd be wrong. Loki thinks a lot, just like Tony, but unlike Tony Loki thinks a lot about people as well as everything else. Tony generally avoids doing that.

"But you're not here to ask about that," Loki says. "You haven't contacted me in six weeks."

"Neither have you," Tony returns, but then he drops it; he's not going to let himself run away with a petty argument he doesn't actually care about right now. "I… I wanted to talk to you about this. You think both S.H.I.E.L.D. and your family will be after the child, right?"

Loki crosses his arms. "The whole of Asgard. They've always been afraid of my children." He sneers. "Funny how it was that fear that made them the monsters instead of the other way around."

Tony nods. "I have read up a bit on that." He lowers his gaze. "I definitely agree with you that they were the monsters in this case, not any of your children."

"I sense a but there," Loki says, voice tense.

"Not really a but," Tony disclaims, "Empirical evidence certainly speaks for itself. We have no ground on which to assume that they'll all of a sudden be fine with your seventh child. I'm just thinking… maybe Thor will help?"

There's silence between them for several beats. Then Loki says, "The only reason I'm still here to hear you out is because you have much more to lose than I."

Because it's Tony who has to decide between the life he loves – the life he's happy with for the first time in as far as he can remember – and his child. "I know there's a lot of history between the two of you," he pleads his case. "I know you're angry at him, and I know that it's not my place to judge. But Thor is my friend, and I'm not sure he'd actually support Odin if he tried to take our child."

"If Thor doesn't support his father, he just stays silent," Loki bites. "And if anybody else disagrees he yells a lot about respect to the Allfather and throws over tables. He never did a thing to help me and my children, not even with Váli and Nari, and as far as he or I or anyone knew at the time, the two of them were fully Asgardian. He could have done something, but he just stood by and watched. Thor doesn't fight Odin's decisions."

That's blatantly disregarding the stories Tony has heard that led to Thor's exile, but he's not going to mention it. "He has changed, though, he's said so himself. He's less impulsive now. He actually uses his brain now." That's almost directly quoting Thor's own words; Thor had one evening ruefully told him that losing Loki like this, in a way he never has before, has taught him a lesson he had painfully needed.

"What would you have him do that I can't?" Loki bites out.

"Not that you can't," Tony hastens to assure him. Quite honestly, if he had the choice between going into hiding with Loki or Thor he would always pick Loki. Thor isn't inconspicuous, and Loki's magic is incredibly useful, and while Thor is warm and comforting, he's also incredibly restless. "But that he is in a better position to do. He can convince Odin to leave the child be."

"And that would be helpful, how?" Loki snaps. "Your agency would still do anything to get to the child. The only thing it means is that we might be temporarily save from Asgard, but Odin is prone to changing his mind at any time, so it doesn't actually mean anything. Not to mention that Odin wouldn't agree to that to begin with. He hates my children."

"But this child would be half-human," Tony argues. "It might mean something. And if Odin would agree to not harming the child I'm sure we could convince S.H.I.E.L.D. that he'd be very cross if they were to do it instead."

Loki is quiet for a long time. "I don't believe there's any point in this venue. Thor has never stood up for me, not against Odin. And if you try this, you won't have a choice; they'll know the pregnancy isn't the result of a prank."

In other words, Tony will have to leave and go into hiding with Loki and the child, because the somewhat flimsy excuse Loki built him by fake-impregnating half his associates will blow up. And yet… "I don't think I can live with myself if I don't at least try."

Loki lowers his gaze and nods. Tony expects him to leave then, but he doesn't; he stands around instead. Abruptly, Tony becomes aware of just how long it's been since they had sex – over three months. That's got to be some sort of record for him.

Getting up, Tony steps up to him. Loki's face is sober, a little pale, mouth pinched. Tony takes his hand. "Come to bed," he says quietly.

Loki nods wordlessly and allows Tony to pull him over into his small bedroom. They haven't met there often; usually they meet in hotels. Sometimes Tony would tell Loki when he'd booked a room, other times Loki would seek him out at a party in the shape of another person – at the beginning, Tony suspects, to see whether Tony would notice, and at one point probably also to check whether Tony, if he didn't, would sleep with a person other than Loki. Tony didn't, but that's mostly because he doesn't feel the need to. He and Loki meet at least twice, often three or even four times a month, and on occasion Loki would accost him in the workshop for a quickie. Tony simply is quite satisfied with their arrangement, though he does wish Loki would've given him the means to summon him sooner. It could have been rather useful in the past.

Tonight, they're careful with each other. Not that they're always fast and hard, but that is how they generally do it. They've done it slow as well, and Tony's enjoyed it well enough, but he gets impatient after a while and he has the feeling Loki shares that sentiment.

Not this time. They undress quietly and then Loki spreads Tony out on the bed, takes his body in from head to toes. Tony refuses to feel self-conscious; he's hot, he knows that, and if his belly is a little more convex than it used to, well. That's definitely Loki's fault.

"How did this happen, anyway?" Tony asks.

Loki's eyes flick up to him. "I didn't do it on purpose, if that's what you're asking."

Tony blinks. "You can stop being so defensive. I know that." Inwardly he tacks an 'idiot' to that, but he's already learned that Loki does not appreciate being called names. At least not when it's not in a sexy setting. He still sometimes frowns when Tony lets a "sweetheart" slip out, and that's entirely accidental. Tony has called everyone he frequently associates with "sweetheart" at one point. Granted, "babe" isn't something he says frequently, and he can understand Loki's vexation in that case, but his reaction to "honey" had been entirely exaggerated. It's strange how he doesn't mind "slut" but roughly pushed Tony out of bed and didn't let him back in for half an hour the first time Tony called him "honey". Tony has the feeling there's some history there, but he has no idea what it could be.

"I honestly can't say," Loki admits. He doesn't look happy about it. "My best theory is magic. It's not like your science. Sometimes it has a mind of its own."

"When science does that it usually means one does not know all the variables and or is wrong about at least one of them," Tony explains. Getting tired of being stared at, he reaches out and pulls Loki on top of him, preventing him from replying by kissing him.

"The variable we aren't aware of is the mind of its own magic has," Loki pants a little later. He rarely lets Tony have the last word in an argument; they had some great angry sex as a result of that, because Tony isn't so good at giving in either.

But not tonight. Loki's hands are oddly gentle as they slide over Tony's skin, curving around his ribs and his shoulders, slowing down at his collarbone, the arc reactor, his nipples. Impatient and way too horny due to the long break between now and the last time they did this, Tony reaches down to tug at Loki's erection, making him moan.

"On the plus side," Tony grunts, "no matter how this turns out, we get to do this a lot more often."

"How do you mean?" Loki asks breathlessly. He lets Tony flip them around, spreads his legs to make room for him. He doesn't much appreciate when Tony takes his hand off his cock to dig the lube out of the nightstand, but when Tony aligns their cocks and wraps his wet hand around both of them he seems much happier, if the noises he makes are anything to go by.

Tony concentrates on getting them both off; belatedly, he realizes that he shouldn't have reversed their positions. He could've used his free hand to pinch Loki's nipples, he quite likes the noise Loki makes when he does that, a high-pitched whimper he never otherwise makes. It's incredibly hot to have Loki under him like this, though, legs spread and hips twitching with each twist of Tony's hand. Yeah, he's good at this.

Oh, and he has a mouth. Leaning down, Tony flicks his tongue over one nipple, watches it tighten when he breathes cool air over it. Then he wraps his lips around it and sucks hard. Loki gasps and moans his name, one hand tangling in Tony's hair while the other slides down his back, fingernails scratching red welts into his skin.

"Tony," Loki whines, and Tony lets go of his own dick and concentrates fully on getting Loki off. It doesn't take long at all; not a minute later Loki is throwing his head back and calling out his name as he comes. Tony loves watching that, always has, though the reason has changed over time. At first it was simply for the rush of knowing that it was him who brought Loki – a god and their sort-of-enemy! – off, but by this point it's a lot less self-congratulatory and smug. Loki's just incredibly, well, Tony doesn't like using words like beautiful much but it does apply in this case, when he comes.

So for a moment he just watches, but when Loki, breathing hard, opens his eyes and looks at him he remembers that he was in the middle of something as well. He's very aware of Loki's eyes on him when he takes hold of his own cock and starts jerking off; it's hot. Tony's never been one to feel embarrassed about this, and he does enjoy being watched. There's just something about the intensity of Loki's gaze, how Tony can almost feel his eyes on him.

"Come on me," Loki purrs, spreading his legs even wider and presenting his body. Yeah, Tony didn't need the invitation, but it's rather breathtaking – it doesn't take him long to follow it.

Later, after they've cleaned up haphazardly with some tissues, they lie together, Tony on his back with Loki curved around his side, head on his shoulder and one hand on the gentle swell of his belly. "You're going to speak to Thor, aren't you," Loki says very quietly.

"Yeah." Tony contemplates on whether or not he should say it, but he might as well. "I'd like for you to be there, if you want." It's mostly an issue between Loki and the Asgardians, after all; Tony barely knows the scope of it, no matter how much he's read up on it. Those Midgardian poems didn't exactly explain why the fuck something happened, and what the hell Thor was doing while his people used Loki's son's entrails to tie him to a fucking stone.

Yeah, Tony's possibly a little pissed off about that, but really. He can't think of any scenario at all, nothing anyone could have done to deserve that sort of fate. And if there's one thing he's learnt from those poems it's that the Asgardians are rather biased where Loki is concerned – it wasn't Loki, after all, who went to Midgard to tell those stories. Can't have been, because they make Loki out to be a chronic cheater and liar and all-around unpleasant, evil person, and Tony knows for a fact that none of these are true. He also knows for a fact (and from two sources) that many Asgardians believe them to be, evidence to the contrary notwithstanding.

"Why?" Loki's voice is hard.

"Because you know Asgard much better than I," Tony says logically – he knows he won't get anywhere with emotions, and "because he's your brother" would be about the worst thing he could say. Loki's still understandably sensitive about the whole brother thing, though Tony honestly thinks that he's unfairly blaming Thor. Thor had no idea either, after all, but unfortunately, Thor is the only one to blame available.

"You're worried," Loki realizes, surprised.

"Of course I'm worried," Tony bristles. "I don't want the same thing that happened to your other children to happen to this child." And not that he believes Thor would actively participate in that – not even if he somehow has with the others – but there probably isn't much Thor can do if his father decides to get involved.

Supporting both hands next to Tony's shoulders, Loki pushes himself up and looks down on him. "I won't let that happen." His voice is hard. "I was only ever playing, before. If they do anything to this child, if they so much as touch it, they'll only live long enough to regret it."

And because Tony has a unique talent for always saying the wrong thing, he almost says "so this would be a bad time to talk about abortion". Luckily, in the past year or so he's learned to apply a slight brain-to-mouth filter, mostly because Steve has a kicked puppy look like no other and he uses it on Tony without qualms. It's not even something he's seriously considering – well, that's a lie, he's considered it quite often. It would be the solution to all his problems, and Tony isn't morally opposed to abortion (he thinks he's about the last person to have a right to tell anyone what to do with their body).

But in his case, it would also be a majorly act of cowardice, running away from all his problems, not to mention that Loki would never, ever forgive him. This sucks and he's terrified and way past the point where he can't admit it to himself (and he's fucking pregnant, god, this is something he would never have expected, he's a man for god's sake), but these are the cards he's been dealt with. Now Tony has to find a way to play them to the best possible outcome.

Good thing Tony's good at cheating. Even better that he has Loki with him, who is clearly good at overthrowing the table, burning all the cards and shooting the other players before making off with their valuables if all else fails.

"I believe you," Tony says quietly. Reaching out, he brushes the strands of unruly black hair that are falling into Loki's face behind his ear. "I'd just rather we try to do everything we can to prevent that from becoming necessary."

"You do realize that that is the only reason I'm even considering speaking to Thor," Loki says tensely. And because it's Tony who has to potentially give up everything, no matter which choice he makes.

"Yeah, I do." Tony tilts his face up. "So you're going to be there?"

"Maybe," is all Loki says, laying down on his side with his back to Tony. He does that often and at the beginning Tony had taken it as a signal that he needed some distance. But he'd been drunk enough once to attach himself to Loki's back like a limpet and Loki hadn't protested. Tony's taken the turned back as an invitation for spooning ever since, and as of yet, Loki hasn't discouraged him.

This time is the same. Tony wraps himself around Loki's curled up body, slings one arm around his waist and pulls him a little closer before arranging the sheets over them. He doesn't fall asleep as quickly as the last time Loki was there, but neither does he lay awake for hours as has been the norm for the past couple of weeks.

Loki's still there when Tony wakes up the next morning; it's neither the norm nor unusual, they keep it relatively even either way. Neither is it unusual for Tony to wake up to Loki watching him. "You are very strange," is the first thing Loki says to him, which isn't unusual either. Loki has a habit of seemingly random, off-topic statements.

"Thanks," Tony grumbles. Burying his head in the pillow, he yawns and stretches one leg – he can't do both at the same time or he'll roll onto his belly and right now he can't bear that at all, strangely (because he isn't showing much and he's been told by the internet that it's not harmful at this stage).

A hand slides down his spine, fingertips pointing down, making him sigh. "Are you about to embark on a journey for coffee," Loki more states than asks, sounding amused.

"Can't, caffeine is bad," Tony whines. "No more than one cup a day, two if it's instant."

Loki wisely refrains from making fun of him. Tony might have bitten his head off if he had; he can't have any caffeine, can't have any alcohol, his life pretty much sucks right now. All he has is chocolate (of which he technically isn't allowed to eat much of either, but fuck, he deserves some damn chocolate) and tuna with honeyed peanuts. The latter lately with strawberry ice cream, because ever since he ate it with vanilla ice cream he's become starkly aware how dry the combination is on its own and has started trying out what to put in it to make it smoother. The hardest thing is not to make it his main food group, really.

"You are healthy, though," Loki says. It's not a question, and that's what makes Tony peek at him with one eye.

"You're sure?" Suddenly he remembers how Loki knew he was pregnant before anybody else did, and he turns on his back so he can look at him better. "Do you check out my body often?" Ah, bad choice of words. "Magically, I mean." He is aware that Loki does check him out every now and then, but until now it's never occurred to him to wonder just how often he does it.

Loki raises one eyebrow. "Of course. I have to make sure the person I'm sleeping with is healthy, don't I?" Especially now, he doesn't need to add.

Tony's not sure what to make of that. He has the feeling he should be offended somehow, uncomfortable, but he isn't really. Apart from the one time Loki had offered to take the shrapnel away from his heart, he hadn't felt like his privacy was being invaded. Loki hadn't suggested it again.

"Do you change things?"

"Yes." Loki frowns. "Repair. You know this." Of course he does; when he's injured Loki will lay a hand on him and heal him. Tony's always found the parallels with religion rather amusing, what with Loki actually being a god and all that.

"Yeah, I just never thought about it." Stretching out properly, Tony sighs and blinks up at Loki. "Just out of curiosity, what else have you repaired?"

"Bone damage," Loki readily answers, "healed fractures are still more fragile than the rest of the bone, so I smoothed them out. Organ damages, specifically to the heart and liver." He shrugs. "Small things."

Right. "So I needn't even have stopped drinking?"

"Well, it's a good thing you did because it might've damaged the child before I noticed your pregnancy," Loki tells him.

There's a flaw in that line of reasoning, though. "What if I had started drinking again between the time you noticed and the time I found out?"

It earns him a look. "You wouldn't have. You promised your friend."

Well, yeah, but. "I've broken promises before."

"Not this one, not unless you were under a lot of stress." Loki sounds very sure of that; Tony wishes he could have that much confidence in himself.

Loki runs his fingertips over Tony's belly, looking thoughtful. "The child is healthy as well."

"Did you make it so?" Tony asks. He doesn't like the way his voice sounds, strange, somehow.

"No," Loki says. "You take good care of both of you." His eyes are attentive in a way Tony isn't quite comfortable with; it makes him feel like his issues are laid bare.

"Well," he says loudly, sitting up, not looking at Loki. "That's good." Getting up, he starts putting on his discarded clothes from yesterday. "You're lucky I don't get sick in the mornings anymore, this would have been much less pleasant then."

Loki allows him his clumsy change in topic, getting up as well.

"When do you want me to talk to Thor?" Tony asks, running a hand through his hair in a futile attempt to tame it somewhat.

"That is your decision," Loki tells him. "As long as you are aware that you might have to come with me immediately."

Yeah, Tony doesn't quite believe that. He doesn't believe Thor will run off to Odin or S.H.I.E.L.D. immediately as soon as he finds out that Tony's pregnancy is not the result of a prank or an accident. Thor is, after all, the one who reacts very much towards negative sentiments aimed at his brother. He keeps saying that Loki hasn't done anything majorly bad since his return and that he has been punished for the invasion of Earth that led to the building of the team. But Thor has always been a very delicate topic between the two of them, so he doesn't say anything.

"I think I'm going to do it sometime soon," Tony says. "Should I text you?"

"…yes." Loki takes a breath. "I would appreciate if you contacted me more regularly to tell me how you are, as well."

Tony sends him a narrow-eyed glance. "You could contact me as well, you know."

Loki seems nonplussed. Guess what, Tony's pissed about that. Until Loki gave him his number, Tony didn't have any way to contact him. It's always bothered him but he understood that Loki needed to feel untethered. But Loki really could've told him about the pregnancy, and that he didn't contact Tony at all really annoys him. Yeah, Tony knows it doesn't mean that Loki doesn't care, but that's damn well how it makes him feel.

"Very well." Loki's expression is thoughtful. "I will." Walking over to Tony, he leans in to kiss him on the lips before vanishing without another word.

Grumbling to himself, Tony heads upstairs to his other bedroom – he does have a shower down in the workshop for emergencies, but it's tiny and has only one showerhead, so he much prefers the one in his master bathroom. Once he's clean he eats some breakfast, the fruit bowl Bruce has arranged to be always available for Tony and some waffles. Steve has the habit of making breakfast for all of them because he gets up so early, and he gets all puppyfaced if the food won't get eaten. Not that Tony has a problem with that lately, he's generally hungry nowadays.

He's thinking about when to talk to Thor – or rather, thinking about how he should be thinking about it, but can't really see the problem. He's fairly sure he can trust Thor, and if it turns out he can't, no amount of preparation will make it easier for him to leave here. Long ago, he implemented a command within Jarvis that, if triggered either by a phrase or by his death, will delete all his software and destroy all his hardware, here and anywhere else. And there's nothing else of great value to him – at least nothing he can take with him.

But when he had done that, he hadn't had anyone he would trust with these things and who'd be able to keep themselves safe. He has now.

So Tony spends the day inventing and building a hard drive with the capacity to store all his stuff, and hey, look at that! If all turns out well, that's another billion for Stark Industries. Once that's done he sits back in his chair and thinks about it. Jarvis wouldn't be of much use, stored on a hard drive and not implemented in a fully automated house. They discuss it a bit and eventually Tony decides that, if worst comes to worst, he can adapt a suit and adapt Jarvis and bring the two together. Then he'll have a robot butler, that'd be awesome. Sort of Bruce Wayne-ish, what with the hiding in caves (well, probably not caves, but metaphorically speaking) and the fighting crime illegally. If they're still going to do the crime fighting, which they might not since they'll be in hiding. Maybe Tony will join Loki in making things uncomfortable for S.H.I.E.L.D. instead, gotta keep them occupied so they can't concentrate fully on finding them. And Tony will probably be rather pissed off that he's had to give up everything just because they want to steal his child and possibly him as well, not to mention his stuff. It'd certainly be fun.

So Tony takes one of his suits and modifies it so Jarvis can, after deleting and destroying everything else, move in and get the hell out of there. All in all, it takes him, together with compiling the hard drive, two days. The morning of the second day, he receives a text from Loki, "how are you faring". It sounds a bit baffled, like Loki doesn't know how to send texts – he probably doesn't. Thinking about it, Tony's surprised Loki knows how to text at all, though Tony has texted in his presence and explained the practice to him, so it probably shouldn't. Tony delights in replying "AAS BB 143 <3" immediately followed by a "SCNR". He nearly falls off his chair when Loki sends back "SED, 1432", followed by a haughty "I do know how to use google". Chuckling to himself, Tony sends "GTK" and gets back to work.

In the late afternoon, Tony's done with the prep and sends Loki a quick text, "GAS?" to which Loki replies "BRT, GYPO". Tony's still laughing when Loki appears; he nearly chokes when Loki quirks his mouth and says, "I see you are still wearing your pants." Loki has to hold on to his shoulder to prevent him from falling off his chair.

"I have some stuff for you," Tony manages to say once he's recovered somewhat. Gesturing towards a couple of boxes, he explains, "That's all my stuff, my portable suits and a suit for Jarvis." Plus some stuff Tony thought they might need, like a couple of spare arc reactors for Tony. Though if worst comes to worst, Loki could just heal him – there's no way Loki would let him die just like that. Neither would Tony want him to.

"For safekeeping," Loki infers.

That sobers Tony up pretty fast. "Yes. In the safest place you have, because everything here will be destroyed if I have to leave. This will be all I have left."

Loki nods and doesn't comment on it. "Would you like for me to come back after I take these away?"

"If you want to." Tony tilts his head. Loki's never asked him that. "I just assumed you'd be busy, you don't usually see me again that quickly."

"You never asked," Loki points out. Before Tony can say anything else he vanishes, taking the boxes with him.

When Loki doesn't come back Tony shrugs and heads upstairs to check out what his friends are doing. Things are a bit tense lately, what with Tony's continuing pregnancy; Tony is well-aware that S.H.I.E.L.D. are suspicious and that his friends probably couldn't get around to noticing, but Tony's shock upon finding out was legitimate, and they trust him. He's not sure whether he should feel guilty for it or not.

He and Clint do a few rounds on the xbox, though it's a little less lively than usual because Clint isn't allowed to hit or kick him (he did it once, by accident, because he forgot and got a very stern, mortifying talking to by Steve). Then they all have dinner together, followed by a movie. At the beginning of it, Tony gets a text, "WRU". Feeling a little guilty he texts back, "sry, team bonding, didn't think you were coming back, gimme 2hs?" The "SOK" he receives doesn't suggest that Loki's pissed; he wouldn't continue with the joke if he were.

It's a good thing, because Steve takes him aside after the movie. That isn't a good thing; it's incredibly uncomfortable in fact, apparently for Steve as well as for Tony, because Steve keeps shifting on his feet. "Tony…" he starts, "do we need to talk?"

Trust Steve to find a subtle way of asking what the hell is going on without making it sound like Tony's keeping something from them even though he very much is.

"Not yet," Tony says before he can think about it. Then he winces.

Steve eyes him searchingly. Then he nods, says "alright, Tony" and pats Tony on the back before leaving.

Loki's waiting in Tony's bed by the workshop, reading a book. "What's with the face," he asks without looking up when Tony enters.

"People clearly know something's up." Tony grimaces and starts to strip.

"Naturally," is Loki's comment, "they're not completely stupid." It's possibly the nicest thing he's ever said about Tony's friends.

Naked, Tony climbs into bed, taking a tablet for playing around with him. This is quite domestic; they don't usually do this sort of thing, at least not in the evenings. In the hotels, they actually quite often sat in bed together in the morning, pre- or post-breakfast. "I think I should tell them after we've told Thor."

Loki shrugs and looks at him. "I still don't believe that will go well."

"But if it does," Tony presses, "I want to tell them."

"What do you want to tell them?" Loki asks curiously.

Tony shrugs. "That it's not this much of an accident – at least not in the sense that we didn't have sex. They'll probably want to know how that came about."

Putting the book away, Loki looks at him. "What exactly is your expectation? Supposing everything goes well and you and the child will be safe to remain here, which is incredibly unlikely."

"I know that." Tony takes a deep breath. "Best case scenario? I can stay here and continue to do the Avengers thing without having to worry that anybody's going to do anything to our child. Even better would be if you could stay as well, if that's what you want."

"I'm going to be where the child is." It's a statement, nothing less.

Tony doesn't even think about protesting. "Okay, so that's best case. Worst case is everybody wants to take the child, meaning we'll have to go into hiding. What compromises can we make?"

"Worst case is they want to take the child and you," Loki corrects. "A compromise, if you are willing to make it, would be your staying here and continuing as is while I and the child leave."

Yeah. Tony lowers his gaze and feels like scum for not knowing whether he'd leave with Loki and the child or stay.

"I am sorry," Loki says quietly. "It's not fair that you are the one who has to make all the sacrifices."

No, it's not, but it's not really Loki's fault. But- "What if we can stay together but not here?"

Loki frowns. "How do you mean?"

"Well, it's rather unlikely S.H.I.E.L.D.'s going to be okay with you staying in the headquarters, but if we could stay in a different place close by and I just come over here if necessary?"

"I don't care where we stay, as long as they don't try to control me," Loki informs him archly.

Tony's getting excited know; he thinks he might have something there. Yeah, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s pretty hot on Loki because of the invasion thing, and they do have a point, but Thor says he's been punished that for that, Odin says he's been punished for that. There's no way they can punish him for that again, no matter how much they might want to. And ever since, the most Loki's done is mischief; he hasn't killed anybody, and in fact he has helped them every now and then against other villains. Tony has no idea what the hell Odin's motivation was for killing Loki's other children, but he hopes that, with a little help from Thor, maybe he will leave this child alone. With them being safe from Asgard, Tony can – with Thor's help again – make it so S.H.I.E.L.D. will leave them alone as well.

It all depends on Thor. Tony figures their odds are pretty good, at least from what he knows of Thor. Loki knows him entirely differently, of course, but hopefully he will be proven wrong, even if his pessimism is ground in experience.

Naturally, Loki is skeptical when Tony explains it all to him, but he's willing to indulge Tony and let him try. Tony celebrates his good idea by riding Loki's cock, which is something of a rare occurrence between them because Loki is more into either fucking Tony or being fucked. He enjoys this in-between well enough, but Loki is impatient, so Tony has to either get them both off quickly or be okay with Loki flipping them over at one point and pounding him into the mattress. Both is great, but Tony must admit he quite enjoys being thrown onto his back and fucked thoroughly by a frustrated Loki. He always comes screaming.

It's due to Loki's insistence that they take a quick shower afterwards; it wakes Tony up enough that he can ask a question while they get into bed. "Why do you think did the magic decide to impregnate me?" Tony doesn't like it, it seems rather woolly to him. Not that he doubts Loki, but it's just so… random.

Loki seems surprised by this. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I don't even have any magic," Tony points out.

"Everything has magic," Loki disagrees. Then he shakes his head. "Why does magic decide to get anyone pregnant?"

"Uh, it doesn't? Women get pregnant because sperm infantilizes the egg."

Loki shrugs. "I don't know anything about that. Sometimes men get pregnant, sometimes women get pregnant on Asgard. Sperm and eggs have nothing to do with it."

Alright then. Perhaps they just don't know how it works. "There's got to be some sort of explanation."

Amused, Loki pushes his back against Tony's front, getting comfortable. "Many people have tried to find it. They have yet to succeed. Sleep now."

That's quite dissatisfying, but okay.

The morning starts off well enough with a nice exchange of blowjobs with Loki. Then Loki leaves and things start going very wrong: for one, Tony abruptly discovers that he's actually showing. Not just a tiny little swell, but it's actually a bit of a bump already, he's absolutely sure of that. He looks fat.

And yeah, he is aware of the clichés, thank you very much, but that doesn't help him any when he stands sideways in front of the mirror and has to suck in his stomach to look normal. It helps him even less when he has to choose a shirt that isn't too tight a fit because Jesus fuck he does not want Clint to comment on his weight gain.

The next thing that goes wrong is his breakfast: the oranges in the fruit bowl taste incredibly awful all of a sudden, bitter enough to almost make him retch, contaminating everything else in there. But when Tony pushes it away with a grimace and turns to the pancakes instead Steve starts nagging him about eating healthily, unsubtly eying Tony's one (one, per day) cup of coffee, supported by Bruce. Clint sniggering doesn't help him any either, nor does the way it actually, honestly upsets Tony. What the fuck.

But really, they're basically implying that he can't and or isn't willing to properly take care of his own child, and that's seriously fucked up. Even his father cared enough to tell his secretary to hire a cook for Tony and a nanny to make sure he actually ate what the cook produced. They're saying he's worse than his father. The only thing that could be more horrible than that would be implying he'll beat his child up, or possibly rape it. Or that he'll be like Odin, which would possibly even worse, even without the physical and sexual violence.

It gets even worse when Thor suddenly wraps his arm around Tony's shoulder, pulls him into his chest and booms, "Everybody silence!"

So, great. Not only does everybody get immediately involved when he doesn't eat what they think he should, he is also weirdly, absurdly sensitive and on top of it all Thor has discovered his overprotective side.

The worst part is how this (either the yelling or the protectiveness or the touching) makes Tony even more emotional. This has to be his personal version of hell.

"I think," Steve says very slowly, doing his utmost to not look at Tony, "maybe we should go buy some fruits for Tony."

"Sounds good," Bruce agrees, rising as well. Clint makes no move to follow until he suddenly jumps, looks at Natasha with wide-eyes, and then hastens to join them, effectively leaving Tony alone with Natasha and Thor, who still holds him squished to his chest.

"Ugh," Tony says after a moment. "That was utterly mortifying."

The corners of Natasha's mouth quirk up. Not looking at Tony she says, "Though you're safe to eat pancakes now without everybody getting involved in your business."

Well, she's got a point. Tony thinks he deserves an ocean of chocolate sauce for this much stress before he even got any food into his belly.

Also maybe some tuna.

"So," Tony says once he finds himself alone with Thor a little later, Natasha having wandered off for the training room. "You got a minute?"

"Of course!" Thor looks rather happy about it too. Probably been waiting for it since their last conversation.

Firing off a quick text to Loki, Tony just in case leads Thor into his workshop. They're alone, but he doesn't want to get interrupted. At his command, the glass doors turn milky; Jarvis would warn him anyway if anybody approached but Tony doesn't want Loki to have to vanish suddenly.

Loki doesn't show up immediately, but Tony doesn't feel like waiting. Sitting Thor down in his office chair, he leans against his workbench and crosses his arms.

"So, you were right," he eventually starts. "This wasn't a joke, or an accident." With a grimace, he corrects, "at least not in the sense that Loki and I haven't… associated." Better not get too graphic in front of Loki's protective older brother. Right.

Expression sober, Thor nods. "It is as I thought, then."

"What did you think?" Loki's voice comes from the side as he appears – turns visible, more likely. Tony should've expected that.

To his credit, Thor doesn't react as Tony had thought he would; he doesn't jump up and try to approach Loki, try to engage him in a discussion of the past, or call him brother. Any of those could only have ended in disaster. He does twitch, yes, and he does stare at Loki with wide, puppydog eyes, but he answers his question calmly, if cautiously, "That you would not use impregnation as a joke."

Loki's body is coiled tight; he's near vibrating with it, eyes burning. Before this can take a turn for the ugly, Tony quickly says, "That's what we're worried about."

It takes Thor a moment to take his eyes off his brother and turn to Tony. "What is that?"

Tony gestures towards Loki. "Your people haven't exactly been kind to his other children."

A pained expression crosses Thor's face. "No, not at all, you're indeed right." He seems to want to say more, but visibly refrains.

Yeah, everyone's walking on eggshells here. At least they're all aware of the delicacy of the issue; that's something already.

"So you understand why we have to be extremely careful."

Thor nods.

With an impatient noise, Loki walks up and stands next to Tony. "What he's trying to say, Thor, is that if your father or people lay a hand on this child, I'll destroy everything."

Well, that hadn't been quite it, but it's something that also needs to be said. Before Thor can react to that, Tony hastily adds, "And we'd all rather that doesn't happen, right?"

He waits until Thor and Loki both nod, Loki still glaring at his brother. "Right. And I'd personally really rather not have to spend the rest of my life in hiding because everybody is trying to find and harm my child. So I was thinking, could you convince your father to lay off Loki's children? Preferably forever."

Thor opens his mouth and closes it again. "This is a very difficult task, Tony Stark." His face looks haunted and Tony feels a sudden wave of sympathy for the guy, spending most of his life torn between his father and brother, trying to run interference between the two.

"Yeah." He grimaces. He's about to say something else but before he can, Thor's face suddenly takes on a determined expression.

"But I shall succeed." He says it in the tone some other people use when adding "or I'll die trying".

Getting up, Thor puts one hand on each of their shoulders. "I will take care of this," he swears. "Have my oath. By my life, my father shall not harm this child." Giving a firm nod, he steps back. "I must go now. It might take some time."

With that, Thor turns around and leaves, presumably to get Mjölnir.

His departure leaves Tony feeling rather stunned; yeah, he had expected for Thor to be on their side, but going by Loki's pessimism he had thought there'd be more resistance. A glance to the side reveals that Loki is equally nonplussed.

"Ah," Tony makes. "That went well?"

Loki's shoulders are pulled up, likely in a subconscious gesture that is hurtful to look at, especially imagining that Loki used to look like this often, on Asgard. Must have, if one single conversation with Thor, taking not even ten minutes, makes him look like that again.

"It seems," Loki says after a long silence, "my brother feels guilty."

His voice says "rightfully so", but a fleeting expression of longing crosses his face, sending an entirely different message.

"Maybe the time away from Odin did him some good," Tony suggests. "Maybe the distance helped him emancipate himself."

Without a word, Loki vanishes.

Shrugging, Tony picks up his tablet and starts looking through his many projects, looking for something that interests him enough to work on. Part of him wants to go talk to his team, get it all out of the way once and for all, but it'd be too early; he better do it when things are a bit clearer with Asgard.

Unfortunately, it turns out that Thor's "a while" means "over two weeks with no word and no end in sight" for other people. Fury is pissed off that Thor left without a word and even more because he can't say a word about it; their team is half-autonomic as it is, so he can't threaten to throw Thor off it if he doesn't follow their rules, and everybody knows the gods can do what they want.

With Tony barred from the fighting as well, this leaves the team two members short, and it shows.

Tony is nearly vibrating out of his skin as he watches his team fight against an army of bots. They're barely holding their own, and they need him; there's one mother bot that, protected by the others, directs them like a queen bee. Disable that one and the others are easy pickings. And Tony is the only one who can do that.

Finally, watching Steve go down on the screen and take too long to get up again, Tony can't bear it anymore. With Jarvis dialing Loki's number he heads out, the suit assembling around him.

"I can't," Tony says as soon as Loki picks up.

The next moment Loki is there, taking in the sight of Tony in the suit with a furious expression. "You-"

"I can't!" Tony interrupts, not caring about the desperation that creeps into his voice. "They're getting obliterated out there! I'm the only one who can do something about it!" If things continue as they are, the Avengers will eventually tire out. The motherbot is too smart, and the worker bots are too numerous. Even with superpowers, the Avengers are just human.

Of course Loki knows what's going on. "One hit by these, Tony," he grits out. "One hit and our child-"

"Then fucking help me!" Tony cries out.

Cursing, Loki advances towards him, closing the face plate carefully despite his bad temper. Raising his hands in the air in front of Tony, he starts to chant.

Tony barely has the patience to wait, but fuck, he doesn't have much of a choice; not unless he wants to seriously endanger the child, and he's not that far gone.

Finally, Loki is done. Pale-faced, he takes a step back, nearly stumbling.

"Thank you," Tony says; he can barely express his gratitude and relief.

"Every hit you take will be absorbed by a shield," Loki explains, breathing hard. "It will take from me what it needs to maintain this."

"I'll be careful," Tony promises, and then he's off.

He had taken himself off the comm earlier, unable to listen to his teammates talk strategy and call out warnings to each other. He turns it on again now and says, "I'm on my way."

"No!" Steve calls out, horrified, echoed by the others.

"It's alright," Tony tells them tensely. "It's taken care of. Nothing will happen. I'm the only one who can do this."

"Tony, for fuck's sake-" that's Natasha, surprisingly, sounding absolutely furious.

"It's fine," Tony interrupts loudly. And finally he's there, exploding onto the scene and firing on a bot about to jump Clint. "I have to get through to the queen."

"Tony," Steve grits out. For fuck's sake.

"Will you fucking trust me!" Tony yells. "We don't have time for this!"

There's a pause, and Steve still sounds tense, but he does give in. "Alright. Guys, cover Tony!"

So that's what they do. It takes way too long and Tony takes way too many hits, all of which are completely absorbed by a green shield that covers him completely, but eventually he gets to the queen. After that, it's only fifteen minutes of gaining access to her and ripping through her programming while being covered by the others before the bots are about as useful as roombas, and about as difficult to disable.

Once that is all taken care of, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s agents flood the scene, picking up the pieces of the bots and starting the clean up. The Avengers trudge into a waiting van that'll drive them to headquarters to get checked out and to debrief.

"Tony," Steve says into the silence. They're all still wired with adrenaline, but it's waning, various aches and pains becoming noticeable. Not for Tony, of course, he's perfectly fine; he's not even out of breath anymore.

"I need to get home," Tony says.

Steves eyes are knowing. "What is that?" he nevertheless asks.

"What do you think?" Tony bites out. Looking away, he repeats, "I need to get home."

For a long moment Steve looks at him; then he turns to the driver and orders, "Take us to the tower first, please."

"Sir," the driver protests, "my orders…"

"The tower," Steve repeats, polite but voice steely. "We will go to the headquarters afterwards."

There's no doubt in Tony's mind that Steve wouldn't be doing this if any of them were seriously injured. He's not sure that wouldn't be better – not that he wants any of them to be injured, but he doesn't exactly want an audience. Going by how he had looked when Tony had left, Loki most likely is still where Tony left him. Tony's getting more and more anxious.

When they finally come to a halt in front of the tower, Tony jumps out of the car. He plans to fly up instead of taking the elevator, but Steve stops him. Originally he means to stop Tony by holding his wrist, but the shield immediately flares alive around his grip, which works equally well because it stops Tony in his tracks.

"Tony, before we go up there, I think you owe us an explanation," Steve states calmly.

He's right about that. The timing sucks but Steve's been pretty patient with him, and the two minutes longer the elevator will take won't make much of a difference now either.

Logic doesn't actually make Tony feel better, but he lets Steve and the other Avengers usher him into the elevator. Once they're all inside Tony activates the jammer built into his suit that disables all surveillance in the area and starts explaining. "He's freaking out. Did you read up on Norse mythology?"

"Yes," Bruce says. Steve, Clint and Natasha nod as well. "That shit's fucked up," is Clint's comment.

"Remember what happened to Loki's children?"

Clint turns green. "Don't tell me that really happened."

Tony just looks at him for a moment before he turns his head to stare at the wall. He doesn't want to see their faces. "Odin likes to do really bad things to Loki's children. Knowing that S.H.I.E.L.D. would want a piece of the pie when they found out didn't help either. His kneejerk reaction was to temporarily secure my position while he figures out something long-term."

"What does that mean?" Clint asks.

Bruce sighs. "If S.H.I.E.L.D. knew that Tony consorts with who they still consider the enemy, they'd possibly dismantle him – certainly they wouldn't trust him anymore and put him under heavy surveillance."

"At best," Tony agrees. "By making everyone temporarily display symptoms of pregnancy he created enough reasonable doubt to keep me safe for a while. Not long, but long enough. By this point if they tried any shit we'd be fine."

They don't have time to ask any more questions because the elevator pings and opens its doors. Tony immediately gets out. "Jarvis?"

"In the living room, Sir."

He hurries down the hall into the living room, followed closely by the others, but he doesn't pay them any mind. Loki is lying on the sofa, backed pressed against the backrest, vaguely curled up with his arms wrapped around his middle. He's deathly pale and his eyes are closed.

"Hey," Tony says loudly, unspeakably relieved when Loki stirs vaguely even though he doesn't open his eyes. "Stop it with the dramatics."

Dropping to his knees in front of the sofa, he reaches out to touch Loki's arm, but even that makes a green shield form a protective layer around the area of contact. "Come on, take this off me. Hey."

Loki frowns.

"Hey," Tony says louder, trying not to freak out. "If you don't take this off me I'm going to kill you." He doesn't mean it as a joke; it's clearly the shield is taking all the energy Loki has, the idiot.

"Watch out, we got a badass over here." Loki's voice is raspy and weak, but loud enough for Tony to understand him.

He nearly cries with relief. "What, have you been trolling the internet again?"

The corner of Loki's mouth twitches. "YOLO." Then he starts chanting under his breath, one hand reaching out for Tony's chest. He touches the shield and his fingers dip it in like chewing gum; a moment later, it vanishes.

Loki falls asleep immediately, hand falling limp. Some of the color has returned to his cheeks and he looks somewhat healthier.

Tony breathes a sigh of relief and takes off his gauntlet. It's not really necessary, Loki doesn't at all look like he's about to die anymore, but he still checks his neck for a pulse.

"Come on, let me," Bruce says quietly; Tony hadn't even noticed him come up. He lets himself be pushed out of the way and gets up, heads over to his dismantling station and lets it take the suit off him. Out of the corners of his eyes he watches as Bruce takes Loki's vital signs and even puts a blanket over him.

"He's fine," Bruce tells them. "Just passed out. His pulse is strong and steady."

"Okay." Tony takes a deep breath and tells himself to calm down. He feels strangely dizzy.

"Whoa!" Suddenly Bruce is there, hand firm on Tony's elbow as he leads him to the sofa. "Okay, somebody get him some water."

"I'm fine," Tony says, trying to bat Bruce's hands out of the way, but Bruce doesn't let himself be deterred and starts checking Tony out as well.

"Your blood pressure is low," Bruce murmurs, taking the glass of water Steve hands to him. "Drink."

"I'm fine," Tony repeats impatiently, but does as he's told. Bruce is the one with the doctorate in medicine.

"You are not," Bruce says firmly. The amount of annoyance in his voice makes Tony blink. "What where you thinking? Even with the shield, that was very dangerous." Tony opens his mouth but Bruce just continues talking. "Nevermind, I know what you were thinking, and you were partially right, but you could just have instructed us on how to do it. It would've taken longer but all of us would've preferred that to you losing the child."

"Whoa! What do you mean, losing the child? I'm fine!" Way to freak him out, though.

"Today, you are," Bruce growls. "But next time, you might not be. Any kind of strain on the body is dangerous, Tony. This was dangerous for you, for the baby, and for Loki. If you can't deal with it, don't watch the footage – hell, tell Jarvis to lock you up and not let you out if you can't do it any other way, but don't pull a stunt like this again, understood?"

The silence is so absolute, one could hear the proverbial pin drop.

Tony nods and doesn't look at anyone. "Understood." His mouth feels strangely dry, so he takes another sip of the water.

Bruce sighs and gets up. "Rest. We'll take care of the debriefing. I mean it, Tony – rest means no getting up unless you're about to pee yourself, understand?"

Tony nods.

"You know, he looks strangely harmless without all that leather," Clint comments suddenly. He shrugs when it earns him a glance from Steve. "What? It's not my fault the last time I saw him he tried to invade Earth." At least he doesn't mention the brainwashing thing. That had haunted Clint for a while, and understandably so. A year ago, he wouldn't have been able to deal with Loki's presence so easily.

Steve clears his throat. "Right. We're heading to headquarters to get checked out and debrief. Tony, you stay here and rest. I'll tell Fury that you'll debrief with him tomorrow."

That'll go down well. Not that Tony's complaining, he's feeling mostly fine, but Bruce scared him. He's not getting up again anytime soon.

So Bruce, Steve, Natasha and Clint trudge off, leaving Tony alone with a passed out Loki. He checks in with Jarvis who shows him the footage of Loki, how he had dragged himself over to the sofa after Jarvis' prompting and then lain there, flinching every time Tony was hit. After that he feels even worse and crosses the distance between the two sofas to lie down with Loki. He does feel a bit tired, actually.

When Tony wakes up several hours have passed; it's dusk outside, but somebody's put on dim lighting in the living room. Loki's spooning him from behind, one arm wrapped around his waist and breath fanning over Tony's neck.

The smell of food permeates the air and he hears the faint sounds of cooking and conversation in the kitchen. Tony originally intends to check out what's going on – he needs to pee anyway, so Bruce won't complain – but when he opens his eyes he finds that he and Loki are under the intense scrutiny of Natasha, Clint and Pepper.

Tony blinks. "Is the TV broking or why are you staring at me?"

"How long have you and Loki been together?" Pepper asks.

That makes him frown. "We're not together."

Clint snorts and all three of them look pointedly back and forth between Loki and Tony. "You're cuddling," Pepper points out.

"We share a mutual appreciation of each other's bodies," Tony tells them, ignoring Clint's grimace. "It doesn't mean we're actually together."

"Right." Pepper rolls her eyes. "So, how often do you appreciate each other's bodies?"

Tony does a quick calculation. "Approximately three times a month – look, what is this? Are you about to tell me to be careful? Because it's a little late for that." He gestures towards his belly.

"Yes, clearly," Natasha comments dryly.

"How long have you been doing this together?" Pepper continues her interrogation.

With a sigh, Tony capitulates. When Pepper gets like that it's best to just surrender and let her do her thing, it's less painful in the long run. "About a year."

The three of them still. "You've been screwing Loki for about a year, three times a month?" Clint recaps incredulously. "How can you not consider that a relationship?"

"Do you have sex with other people?" Pepper adds.

"I don't do relationships." How things went with Pepper thoroughly taught him that he isn't good with them. "And occasionally." Though not much lately. With lately being the past six months, now that Tony thinks about it. Actually, it had only been twice, once to prove to himself that he wasn't getting attached (and he wasn't, Loki was just so good in bed other people bored him, what with the shapeshifting and the magic and all, generally Tony had to convince others that a little kink – or vanilla, depending – in bed is a good thing and it's rather relaxing not having to bother with that every time) and once out of revenge because they'd had a fight. Neither had been particularly satisfying, but that doesn't have to mean anything.

Pepper takes a deep breath. "Have you said 'I love you'?"

Ah. "It was a joke, that doesn't count!" Tony immediately protests.

It's futile. Clint, Natasha and Pepper stare at him with very pointed looks.

Thankfully, Bruce comes (unknowingly) to the rescue. "Dinner's ready," he tells them, drying his hands on a dishtowel. "Tony, is Loki eating with us?"

Tony pushes himself upright, running a hand through his hair in a futile attempt to tame it somewhat – for some reason, sleep always seems to mess it up, even just a short five minutes nap. "I don't know, are you?"

"No dead animals," Loki grumbles. He doesn't otherwise move; he must be completely exhausted. It makes Tony feel guilty all over again; he knows that if Loki had any choice in the matter he'd prefer not to face the Avengers tired and mostly powerless.

A bit taken aback, Bruce says, "Uh, no, actually, none of that today. We're having spaghetti with tomato sauce."

"Fine." Loki pushes himself up as well and slumps against the backrest, looking disgruntled and tired, pale with dark shadows under his eyes. His hair is unruly as well and Tony can't resist running his fingers through it to straighten it up a little as he addresses Bruce, "Does this mean I'm allowed to get up?"

"Yes. The nap was a good idea, I expected you to spend all day playing with your tablet." Bruce narrows his eyes. "But no strenuous activity for today. You sit down while we eat, and then you sit down at the sofa before you go to bed. No workshop today."

Tony had planned to check out his suit – it didn't actually get hit or even touched, but he still needs to make sure it's fine. But he can do that tomorrow. "Okay."

Pepper holds out her hand to help Tony up; he allows it because she didn't yell at him for being reckless or stupid. He doesn't think he was either of those anyway – perhaps a bit rash with regards to Loki, and he does feel bad about that. Next time they'll do things differently. Next time, perhaps Thor will be back and they won't need Tony as urgently.

For a moment Tony wavers a bit on his feet, making Pepper's mouth tighten. "I do hope you learned from this," she says mildly. Tony suddenly understands the cliché of the pregnant woman yelling "I am not fragile! I'm pregnant, not terminally ill!"

She takes Tony's arm and leads him towards the kitchen; Tony turns his head to look back and finds that Clint is holding out a hand to Loki. His face is unreadable and Natasha is watching them both, arms crossed. Tony wants to stay and witness what happens next, but Pepper's grip is steely.

Tony has barely sat down when Loki, Clint and Natasha enter the kitchen; none of them look worse for wear. Loki takes a seat next to Tony on the antique kitchen sofa Steve dragged in a couple of weeks ago and that only fits two people or one Steve or one Thor, slow and deliberate to mask his exhaustion.

Throughout the meal Tony keeps an eye on him as he talks with his friends. Loki stays silent, progressively slowing down eating until he can barely hold his fork or keep his eyes open. Tony presses their sides together and the next time he looks, Loki is asleep slumped against his shoulder. It's cute in a way, and Tony can tell that Steve and Pepper think so if the looks they share are anything to go by, but in actuality it's incredibly worrying. Yes, the Avengers and Loki aren't exactly arch-enemies, but they're not exactly best friends either. For Loki to fall asleep in front of them… he must be incredibly exhausted.

"Is he alright?" Steve asks quietly.

Tony grimaces in lieu of shrugging. "Exhausted," is all he says.

Steve just nods. His eyes seem to be trying to tell Tony something, but he has no idea what that might be.

Loki doesn't stay asleep for long; after barely five minutes he's stirring again, eyeing the fruit salad (minus the oranges) Tony's eating. When Tony offers it to him it earns him a decidedly unimpressed glare. Tony's getting really tired of this "mollycoddle the pregnant person" thing everybody seems to be doing. He can offer his damn fruit salad to Loki if he wants to, it doesn't make him a bad parent.

Nobody comments upon it when Loki follows Tony to his bedroom – the upstairs one this time, there's no point in going down to the workshop what with everybody knowing he's there already anyway. Loki clearly is in no condition to go home right now, even if his home were right across the street.

It takes him two days to regain the energy to do something else but sleep or doze or watch TV or read undemanding literature. More than anything else, this teaches Tony the lesson that he really has more than himself to consider now. It also has the side-effect of showing his friends how deeply Loki cares, which neither Loki nor Tony appreciate much, but well. At least it means they don't mind Loki being here, even if they are a little cautious around him.

They don't talk about it, Tony and Loki, apart from the second evening of Loki's stay at the tower, where they lie in the dark, just about to fall asleep, and Tony says, "Thank you."

Just that. No babbling. It's fucking difficult; Tony tends to smother the things he means in a lot of words, a kernel of truth buried in trivialities, but this – Loki deserves it. He didn't say a word about it to Tony, not once, nothing. His friends didn't either, not after Bruce's chewing out, but they have been sending Tony reproachful looks every now and then.

Loki doesn't reply for a long time. His skin seems to shine in the faint blue glow of the arc reactor; it should make him look sallow, it certainly does Tony, but instead he looks strangely brilliant, otherworldly. Tony should be used to it by now, but he isn't. Eventually, all he says is, "Our child has strong parents."

Tony isn't sure what Loki's trying to say – that they're both strong and that's why they'll make it through? That there's nothing they can do about it, that there's no way to change one's core personality? If so, he's wrong. Tony isn't strong, he just plays at it, and right now he doesn't feel like he's good at even that.

Granted, he just spent half the day defending himself to Fury, arguing in circles how it's none of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s fucking business if he's fucking Loki, since they did accept Thor's word that Loki had gone punished. But it seems Fury's still furious about that, because everybody knows there isn't much they could've done either way. Asgard is much more powerful than anything Midgard can muster up; if they'd come blow to blow Midgard might as well just have surrendered quietly, and they all know it. Tony hadn't much appreciated being used as the outlet for Fury's frustration over that. Oh, and then there's the part where Fury apparently is still sore at having had to go through two weeks of fake morning sickness. Yeah, Tony's day hadn't been fun, and he's on probation to boot – real, this time, not just paternity leave. If Steve hadn't come to rescue him for dinner they might still be at it.

Loki leaves to recuperate wherever he resides when he's not with Tony as soon as he can. Tony sends him a text "I'm getting fat", mostly joking, even though it is true; he's rapidly gaining weight. Loki texts back "you should've seen me when I was as far along as you, I looked like I'd eaten a child". This will not do; Tony takes a picture from the side to underline his point. Loki isn't impressed.

It happens a couple of days later. Tony and the other Avengers – minus Thor, still – are sitting in the living room, watching TV. Bruce is fond of CSI, Steve is fascinated by it (once, early on, he said that it makes sense to him when explained but ostensibly it seems like magic, and he's never quite gotten over that initial enchantment), Clint and Natasha like to discuss the perfect murder (an accident, naturally, but how?), and Tony is alternately trolling the internet and calling up Wikipedia on his tablet so Steve can look up how what they're doing on TV works. Tony isn't hungry but he's still eating grapes because he likes the way they pop if he presses them against the roof of his mouth with his tongue. He's a little distracted; his stomach is doing weird things, not quite rumbling, which is strange, because he isn't hungry, and even if he were, he's eating grapes.

He's thinking about it absently while digging out an image of his own DNA because Steve had been curious; he brings it up on his tablet and hands it over to his best friend. It's sort of cute in a strange way how focused Steve is as he stares at the double-helix, as if it can actually tell him something; it can't even really tell geneticists anything. But it's fascinating, Tony has to give him that, and half of it he has passed on to his child.

Ah. His child. In his belly, right where he's feeling strange. Abruptly Tony recalls one of the things he had read during research; he hadn't paid much attention at the time because it hadn't seemed important. He'd been more interested in what he had considered the more significant changes, like the morning sickness, or the cravings, or the mood changes. But among the listing of those things there had been one sentence; "you'll start to feel your baby's movements for the first time between 18 and 20 weeks". He'd skipped the next part; it hadn't seemed all that important at the time.

Wow. He hadn't been this wrong since he had thought Angeline wouldn't mind if he went out with Zoe three days after their break-up. Unfortunately, he'd been fifteen at the time, so that little lapse in judgment could be explained with hormones. This one probably can't.

"Tony?"

Blinking, Tony looks up to find Steve and the others looking at him with alert eyes.

"Are you alright?" Steve asks, looking worried, eyes flicking back and forth between Tony's face and his hand, which is lying on his belly in that protective cupping gesture all pregnant women seem to do instinctively and that half the time Tony too isn't even aware of doing himself.

"You know that scene in Alien, where you see the thing move in her belly? That's what it feels like. Only not really. Maybe? I don't know."

"You can feel it move?" Clint asks with wide eyes. "Wow, that's freaky."

"Tell me about it." Tony feels a little off-kilter. He'd thought his stomach was doing a strange, new kind of rumbling, but that's a baby kicking. In his belly.

"Are you sure it's human?" Clint asks, staring at Tony's belly, face a mix between fascinated and horrified.

Tony's eyes widen.

"I mean," Clint continues, oblivious, "half of Loki's children were animals, right?"

"Clint," Steve interrupts sharply. Clint immediately looks chastised. They don't bother censoring him anymore because rude and undiplomatic is just how Clint is, but when he overdoes it Steve gets his "righteous commander" voice out, and Clint, surprisingly, actually listens to him then.

"I think," Tony says very slowly, trying to keep his breathing even, "I need to go throw up." Deed following up his words, he gets up and heads over into his bathroom. As he walks away he hears a dull thud and Clint's "ow!" followed by Natasha hissing something, but he's really not paying attention.

Steve follows him – not into the bathroom; Tony never used to mind if anyone witnessed him throwing up, but strangely, ever since the pregnancy he's preferred keeping bathroom things behind locked doors. After he's thrown up he presses his forehead against the cool tiles for a moment, trying to calm down. All of a sudden, he remembers the nightmares he's been having – all in itself not a new thing, but they've been unusually vivid and leave him rather emotional. He's been able to push them aside after some breathing exercises, but there was one he suddenly recalls very vividly. It's silly especially right now, because in it he gave birth (dream logic, he's going to have a cesarean) and the baby came out dead. But the baby's moving, so clearly it's alive and kicking – literally. Bruce has been monitoring their health closely too, so everything is fine. And in the extremely unlikely case of Bruce having missed something, Loki wouldn't have. So really, there's no logic to the dream, and Tony doesn't know why it suddenly comes up no.

By the time Tony makes it out of the bathroom half an hour has passed, and despite the breathing exercises and the quick shower he took, his hands are trembling. Steve isn't there anymore, but instead, he finds Loki sitting on his bed, looking regal and untouchable. "Rogers informed me that you are unwell," he says. Normally Tony finds the way he goes back and forth from formal speech to colloquial language amusing, but right now he can't quite muster up the energy.

Originally, Tony means to wave their concern away; it's really nothing, he's just freaking out a little bit, no big deal. What comes out instead is, "Can you tell me if it's alright?" His voice is way thinner than he's comfortable with.

Loki frowns, entire demeanor changing from distant to hidden concern. "Of course." He gets up and puts his hand on Tony's naked belly, impatiently pushing the towel he has wrapped around his hips away.

Tony's not sure if he imagines Loki's magic sweeping through his body or if he really feels it, but a moment later Loki steps away and says, "You're both fine." His brows furrowed. "Apart from how unsettled you are. What's wrong?"

A wave of relief swaps over Tony so strong he at first can't reply, and then he doesn't quite know how to put it to words. How to explain that he had freaked out because he'd felt the baby move? Or that he had recurring, incredibly vivid nightmares of the baby being dead that he usually was able to push aside but that for some reason had overwhelmed him right when they had once and for all proven to be false? Though technically the baby could still die, he's only just passing half-time after all.

Oh, god, he shouldn't have thought that. Loki has taken hold of Tony's shoulders very quickly, or it's possible Tony lost some time. His expression is alarmed as he leads Tony to the bed and has him sit down. "Tony," he says urgently, framing Tony's face with both hands. "What is it? Tell me."

"Hormones," Tony croaks. In hindsight, that was not a good idea, because up until this very moment Tony had always reacted very crabby if someone had used that word in relation to him or in his presence. Loki would know that, not because he'd said it to Tony but because he'd been there two of the many times Clint had mouthed the h-word when he had thought Tony wasn't listening. Tony had ripped him a new one. Turns out, calling Clint a "little punk" made him pout in his room like a teenager, but Tony really did not mind that if it meant he could spend a couple of hours without having to worry about Clint and his insensitive, annoying comments.

"Don't be silly," Loki says. "Your feelings are valid at all times." Isn't it funny how Loki can contradict not only himself, but everything everybody else says with one single sentence? Must be the wordsmith thing or something. "Now tell me what's wrong."

"I felt it move." Tony's voice is small. He doesn't care for that at all. Also not for his own silliness. "I think I've been feeling it for days but I didn't realize?"

To his credit, Loki doesn't look puzzled or like Tony is strange and overreacting. Then again, he hasn't done that even once; he's shown remarkable tolerance and patience with Tony ever since this whole thing started. Apart from the whole abandonment thing at the beginning he's been pretty great actually.

"It feels strange, doesn't it?" Loki says. "To have a living being inside of you. There's a difference between knowing it's there and knowing it."

Ah, that's why. He's been there, done that.

Tony nods. "It's just, I've been having stupid dreams." He's a bit calmer now in the face of Loki's understanding.

For a long time Loki is silent, busying himself with maneuvering Tony to the head of the bed and pushing him onto his back, pulling the towel away completely and covering him with the blanket. They're familiar with each other's nightmares; they both have them. By tacit agreement they don't ask any questions about the things one of them might say in their sleep. All they do is provide wake-up and comfort service, the latter of which tends to involve sex or drink, or both. Tony's fairly sure that without Loki there to distract him from the need for something alcoholic at the beginning of his withdrawal, he wouldn't have made it this far.

"Dreams of death," Loki not-quite-asks a while later, when he's undressed and in bed as well, the only light to illuminate the room Tony's arc reactor.

"Yes," Tony confirms. Somehow, in the dark he feels less stupid about the whole thing.

"I have found that warm baths before going to sleep help," Loki tells him. "Nothing exciting. There's also a calming incense that makes sleep easier."

Incense, huh? Tony isn't one for stuff like that, usually he has nice smelling things because someone gave them to him. He's even too lazy for cologne, usually Pepper reminds him to put some on, though Tony doesn't quite see the point of perfumes. They're cloying and really, doesn't it imply that he doesn't smell nice enough on his own? Some things humans do are just puzzling.

And he's starting to sound like Loki. The horror.

"Tony," Loki says some time later, just when Tony is on the brink of sleep. "Nothing will happen to you or the child. I will not let it."

Tony falls asleep with images of Loki burning the world down, because there's some things not even magic can fix.

After that, Loki is a bit more clingy; there's no other word for it, really. He does send Tony one or two texts a day, more if Tony replies (which Tony generally does - actually, sending him a text to Tony implies giving consent to being spammed with texts whenever Tony is bored or feels the need to impart his thoughts to someone), and he checks in every evening at least via text, if not in person, to make sure Tony is using the incense sticks he brought him. Tony isn't too fond of them, they make everything in his room smell herbal, but it's not an awful smell and actually they do help, so he mostly remembers to light one before he goes to bed. Jarvis will wake him up if it catches anything on fire. He shows up in person more often as well, mostly in the evenings to go to bed with him (literally and literally); sometimes Tony goes to bed alone and wakes up sharing his bed with Loki. It's a bit strange at first but he gets used to it.

All in all, things should be going great. Tony is gaining weight steadily, which he tells himself firmly he isn't bothered by and it's a good thing anyway. Steve lets up a little on the healthy eating terror, probably mostly because (Tony suspects – he has no proof but the two have been getting strangely chummy lately) Loki has a word with him and because he sees that Tony keeps up with it perfectly fine on his own. Fury (and consequently, S.H.I.E.L.D.) have calmed down somewhat, also mostly due to Loki having a chat with him or three. Tony does his utmost to not feel left out, but it does feel a bit weird – Loki used to be only his, his not-quite-secret (he didn't go to any extra efforts to keep it so, that's just how it happened), someone and something he didn't share with the Avengers, as he does just about everything else in his life. And now Loki's having secret conversations with Clint and Natasha and Steve and Bruce and even Fury, and Tony is only peripherally involved, if at all. It's ridiculous and childish to be jealous, Tony is aware of that, but it doesn't stop him from feeling it.

But that's not why he can't relax.

They haven't had word from Thor. So far the Avengers haven't gotten in a fight where they urgently needed him since that time with the bots where Tony got involved (he has a feeling Loki has something to do with the slacking off villains, though all Loki will say on the matter is "I'm the God of Mischief"), but it's worrying everybody that they haven't heard from him at all. Not to mention how much it freaks out Tony and Loki because it indicates things are not going well with Odin. Loki is tense and broody and Tony is anxious and jumpy and keeps his mobile on him at all times so he can speed dial Loki just in case, which grates him even while he's grateful for it; he doesn't want to need someone's protection, doesn't like being dependant on them, but it's undeniable that he needs it. He's helpless with the situation he's in, especially now that he doesn't fit into his suit anymore.

This freaks him out. He's been trying on the suit often just to make sure he could still wear it when necessary, and though it's been getting a bit tight around the middle he's been doing fine until shortly after the first time he feels the baby move. He'd programmed the computer to not use any pressure to make it fit if it didn't, and one Monday in Tony's twenty-first week of pregnancy, it refuses to put the middle part on him. Tony tries manually, more out of panic than to make sure it's not a computer malfunction (his computers don't malfunction, thank you very much), but it's official: he's too big for Iron Man.

The most logical – nay, the only appropriate reaction to that is a panic attack wrapped in a hissy fit. Tony spends the rest of the day sullen and snappy, watching TV programs everybody hates (he goes so far as to turn on Barbie specifically because there's something about it that bothers everybody) and eating junk food interspersed with some healthy stuff because Steve is sending him anxious, wide-eyed Bambi looks. But all Tony's biting comments don't help; Steve somehow seems to have decided that he's going to stay with Tony (later, Tony finds out that Steve had texted Loki who had texted him back why Tony was freaking out, but at the time he doesn't know that). Against all odds, they end up watching a My Little Pony marathon and somehow find themselves emotionally involved with the characters. It goes so far that by the end of the day all the Avengers are sitting in front of the TV watching a show about anatomically impossible ponies clearly designed for little girls, earnestly discussing plot points and character developments. Strangely, Tony feels better afterwards.

The next day, he designs gauntlets that can fire and aren't dependant on the suit, just so he won't feel quite as helpless and naked as a turtle turned on its back. This occupies him for a couple of hours, and then another day when he abruptly decides to make them retractable so he ends up with two bracelets that look like a strange fashion statement and can be armed and ready to shoot in under two seconds. Clearly, he's still got it.

Tony is twenty-two weeks along by the time Thor finally comes back, five weeks after he left. He looks both exhausted and buoyant, the latter of which is not unusual on Thor, though the former is. "Not to worry, all is well," he tells Tony, and then he goes to bed.

Jarvis won't open the doors to other people's private rooms unless in case of emergency; otherwise Tony would have broken into Thor's and woken him up so he'll tell him what the fuck is going on. "All is well", what the hell is Tony supposed to do with that? It can mean anything, from "Odin loves you and is looking forward to his new grandchild" to "Odin's decided to wait until birth to kill both of you". Loki isn't at all happy about it either. "Thor never thinks to consider other people's feelings," he gripes, and then he starts bitching about other occasions when Thor failed to do just that. Tony quickly joins in and the two of them spend an amusing hour complaining about Thor and sharing cake. Every time somebody else enters the kitchen and sees what they're doing they turn on their heels and high-tail it out of there, which is funny too. Afterwards, they're a bit calmer, especially because somewhere in there they reasoned that Thor wouldn't have told Tony not to worry if he were in any immediate danger. And if to Thor "a little time" equals five weeks, "immediate" should reasonably encompass at least one.

Still, even with that logic Tony and Loki aren't exactly calm. Thor doesn't show his face for the whole rest of the day so that by the time they go to bed, they're keyed up enough to treat each other gently in bed and not caring about whether it's out of worry or fear.

The next day, Loki and Tony take over the kitchen again, for the same reason as yesterday: they're absolutely sure that the first thing Thor will do is go to the nearest food source once he wakes up. He might shower, but he definitely will go where the food is next. Clint seems to be a bit nervous about the whole thing and resorts to making instant snacks his main food source for the day because it takes less time. "I feel their eyes on me the whole time I'm in there," he complains to Bruce, foolishly believing he's out of hearing range of the kitchen. Bruce is full of sympathy and sits down with them for a bit, drinking a cup of tea and chatting about nothing important. The next time Clint comes in Tony and Loki make a point of staring at him.

It's well into the afternoon before Thor finally shows his face. He still looks tired but way more energized than when he first showed up, and his face brightens when he spots Loki and Tony, despite the twin glares they send him. "It is good to see you so well," Thor says, clearly completely oblivious. They're not well, they're nervous wrecks.

"Thor," Loki says forcefully. "What did Odin say?"

Thor's face is conflicted, going back from the fridge to Loki's face back to the fridge. Tony takes pity on him, if only to speed things up; "Just put a frozen pizza or two in the oven," he advises, well-aware that it will earn him plus points with Thor for helping him out and also give them at least fifteen minutes to discuss what happened in Asgard until the pizza is ready.

Looking relieved, Thor does just that, and then he gets two yoghurts out of the fridge before finally sitting down with them. Looking at them both earnestly, he says, "Father has decided to be at peace with this child as he is with you, brother."

Loki's face. It's a complicated mix of yearning and anger and incredible pain. Tony has never seen him look like that and it hurts to look at, makes him want to drag him off to his room and close the door after them so nobody else will see him this vulnerable.

"How did you-" Loki chokes out, but his voice just stops in the middle and he turns away from them both. Tony isn't sure he should, there's something untouchable about Loki in pain and this is an issue they have never discussed, but he's always pushed the boundaries and this just hurts. So he puts his hand on top of one of Loki's, lying limp in his lap, and squeezes. At first Loki stiffens, but then his hand turns around and weaves their fingers together, squeezes.

Tony clears his throat, mostly to distract Thor, who is staring at his brother with sympathy and pain in his eyes. "So what does that mean exactly?"

"He's going to pretend we don't exist, but if we do something terrible he'll come and kill us personally," Loki answers. His voice is completely devoid of feeling, just like his face is when he turns his head again, but his fingers are clamped tightly around Tony's.

"He will also protect you, if necessary," Thor adds earnestly.

Loki makes a noise that could be called a laugh if it weren't so bitter. "Odin has never protected me, Thor."

Thor opens his mouth, clearly to argue, and Tony can see where this is going; it's happened countless times before. Loki and Thor just have completely different perspectives on things. Tony privately thinks that the truth must lie somewhere in the middle, though he is inclined to lean more towards Loki's view on things, mostly because he has experienced Thor's optimism and naivety himself. In a way, he's surprisingly placid whereas Loki always questions the motives of people and is inclined to believe the worst of them. It might come with the God of Lies territory.

So before things can spin out of control, Tony quickly interrupts. "So we're safe." Because that's the most important part. "He's not going to come after the child or me or Loki."

Visibly switching track, Thor turns his attention on him. "No, he is not. He gave his word."

Despite his recent career start as a beached whale, Tony suddenly feels incredibly light. Slumping back into the sofa, all he manages to say is "wow." For a moment all he does is breathe and adjust to the fact that he can stop worrying about that, until he realizes something. "Wait, if the same terms go for the child as they go for Loki, that means S.H.I.E.L.D. can't touch it either."

Thor nods. "Indeed."

It's strangely psychopathic, a sort of "the only person allowed to punish/kill you is me" thing, but really, Tony's not going to complain considering how much in their favor it's working.

"Did it take you long to convince him?"

Thor's expression turns amused. "Verily. I have told many, many stories of your heroic deeds, Tony Stark."

This can't mean what Tony thinks it means. "Wait. Don't tell me you convinced your father that I'm a hero." Because he really, really isn't. Look whose baby he's carrying. Heroes don't sleep with their sort-of-enemies. Tony knows this because Steve undoubtedly is a hero, and Steve would never sleep with Loki.

Thor's eyes twinkle. "It is indeed your good deeds as well as your humanity that convinced father." He glances towards Loki, instantly sobering up. "Though he was already inclined to show mercy this time."

That proves to be too much for Loki. Abruptly he rises and walks out of the kitchen mechanically, hopefully heading for Tony's bedroom. Both Thor and Tony watch him leave, but neither of them says anything.

Tony clears his throat. "So, just to recap, your father is not going to do anything to the child or me, ever."

"He gave his word. You are safe." Thor's eyes are knowing, but he doesn't say anything.

Tony takes a deep breath, and another. It sounds so simple now, and time does pass differently for gods – or rather, if you're immortal you view its passing differently – but Thor was away for five weeks. It must've been very difficult for him to get his father to making that concession. Thor isn't exactly the most patient of people and he generally doesn't tend to disagree openly with Odin.

"Thank you."

Thor nods, and then he grins. "I would see my nephew or niece grow up," he says at his normal loud voice level.

Oh dear. Tony somehow managed to fail to add up what that means until right this moment; suddenly he sees his child come back from afternoons with Thor completely messed up and possibly also asking questions such as, "Is it true that you once were naked under your suit?" Because Thor has a penchant for storytelling, especially stories that embarrass other people. Tony doesn't even want to imagine what will happen if he leaves his child alone with Clint and Natasha; that'd be even worse. He makes a quick mental note to only allow Steve and Bruce to watch his child unsupervised, and then he suddenly realizes what he's doing.

He's making plans for the future, plans about his child (a tiny person that is Tony's responsibility, he can't help but still consider that a phenomenally bad idea), because he can do that now. It's fine. He doesn't have to give up anything. They're safe.

Thor politely looks away when Tony's expression crumbles and gets up to check on his pizza.

"Right," Tony manages to say after two failed attempts. "I think I'll go check on Loki. Thanks."

"You are family now, Tony Stark," Thor says when Tony's already almost out of the door. "I grieve for the nephews and nice I was never allowed to meet."

Tony hears what he doesn't say – that he had no hand in what happened to the others, that he doesn't agree with it, that he's sorry, and that he isn't going to allow the same thing to happen to Tony's child. Throat clogging up, he only manages to nod and give a strangled noise before he flees.

As he had hoped, Loki is in Tonys bedroom, standing in the dark. Once Tony closes the door the only light in the room comes from the arc in Tony's chest reactor, muted by the shirt he's wearing. He stands by the window as if looking out, but the glass is darkened, keeping out the daylight.

Tony leans back against the door and lets himself slide down until he's sitting on the floor. Drawing his knees up doesn't work as well as it used to, what with the bump being in the way, but it's not that dramatic yet and Tony manages a sufficiently dramatic pose, forehead pressed into his knees, hands to his mouth. A part of him wants to tell Jarvis to turn up some music or something so he doesn't have to worry about whatever pathetic noises he might be making, but he fears that if he opens his mouth he won't manage to say something coherent.

A long time later, Tony's managed to calm down enough to breathe normally. Normally by this point he'd be well on his way to drunk – freaking out under the influence is perfectly fine, after all, and the hangover is a sufficient punishment. That's out of question right now, of course, and this isn't the first time Tony's freaked out since sober (Pepper calls it panic attacks but what does she know, he doesn't have anything to panic about anyway), but he still isn't quite used to being fully aware while it happens.

Eventually Tony has calmed down enough to get up and approach Loki. The closer Tony and his arc reactor come, the clearer his tense body becomes. Tony takes a breath and puts a hand between Loki's shoulder blades.

At first Loki stiffens under the touch, but then he relaxes into Tony's hand.

"We're okay now," Tony whispers; his voice is hoarse.

Loki nods wordlessly. He has some kind of problem, that much is obvious, but Tony has no idea what it is except that it's family issues, and that's not something Tony is equipped to deal with. At all.

For a while they stand there in silence, until Loki suddenly turns around and pulls Tony to him at the waist, presses his mouth to him. He feels wild, uncontained; his mouth is cool and it makes Tony week in the knees, sway into him and just hold on. Suddenly he remembers just how long it's been since they did it like this, unrestrained and a little rough, and fuck, he needs it.

They fall onto the bed, Tony pushing himself backwards while Loki divests him out of his sweatpants, the only thing Tony can wear these days. He feels less than sexy with his belly, but the way Loki touches him, reverent and needy, makes him feel like he's the only one in the room who considers himself misshapen.

Before he knows it they're both naked, Loki's skin warming against his body. Tony isn't quite sure what to make of it, he knows that in his blue form Loki is considerably colder than this but usually he's as warm as any human Tony's had sex with. But he's getting warmer everywhere Tony touches him, and Tony doesn't know what to make of it, what it means so he just concentrates on how it makes him shiver.

Loki's hands are on his hips, grip tight, lips on Tony's nipples. Maybe he should be embarrassed about the noises he's making, about how eagerly he spreads his legs, but Tony's never been ashamed about the things he does in bed. It's about the only place where he truly isn't, which perhaps is how this whole thing started to begin with.

"Come on," he gasps, shivers when Loki hums, lips vibrating against his larynx.

Because Loki doesn't seem inclined to, Tony does it himself, twisting against Loki's body as he stretches and fishes the lube out of his nightstand. Loki huffs when he drops the tube into his hand but takes the blatant suggestion, coats his fingers and rubs them between Tony's cheeks. "Tell me how you need it," he purrs, and he said need, not want, so Tony knows where this is going, knows that they want the same thing.

"Hard," he growls, letting his legs fall open even wider. "Fuck me hard."

"Lights, forty percent," Loki snaps just as he pushes a finger in and fuck, he wants to see it, wants to see Tony spread out under him willing and easy.

"Hard," Tony whines again, eyes rolling up as Loki unerringly goes for his prostate.

"Yes," Loki purrs, eyes narrowed. He's watching, eyes wandering over Tony's body like hands, zoning in on where his finger thrusts in and out of Tony's body. Tony hasn't done this in a while, he doesn't like touching himself extensively lately, leaves it at jerking off in the shower. Only now does he become aware of how much he needs it; just this and he's shivering already, open and needy.

He writhes as Loki adds a second finger, wishes they could hurry this up because he wants Loki between his thighs, wants to shake under his thrusts, wants his hands bruising his hips. Loki is murmuring filthy things in his ear, how well he takes it, how ready he is for it, how needy he is for Loki to give it to him.

"You're so good," Loki purrs when Tony's whole body pushes into him as he adds his third finger.

"Fuck," Tony groans, eyes squeezing shut.

"Look at me," Loki snaps, the order and tone making Tony shiver and obey, open his eyes to focus on Loki's. They're dark and unfathomable, the green barely visible in the dusky light as he stares down on Tony. "You need this," Loki growls, and suddenly Tony has an epiphany.

"I need you," he moans, breathless and completely truthful because fuck it, he does.

Loki's eyes flare, he pulls his fingers out and unceremoniously replaces them with his cock, pushing into Tony's body with one smooth, unforgiving thrust. Tony throws his head back and calls out, and if he had enough brain cells available to care he'd be grateful that he made the rooms completely soundproof, but Loki's fucking him like it's his job. Tony has to push his hands against the headboard while Loki takes no prisoners, thrusting into him hard and steady and fast, the quickest way to get Tony to completely lose his mind.

It's embarrassing, how fast Tony gets to the brink; nobody even touched his dick and he's already this close to coming, legs wrapped around Loki's waist. Every time Loki pushes in he slides over his prostate, making him shiver and groan and writhe, and then there's the way Loki stares at him. Like he owns Tony, but also like Tony owns him, and it's a rush, it goes right to Tony's head, and before he knows it a particularly hard thrust makes him come, loud and messy and completely overwhelming. Loki groans and speeds up, rhythm faltering as he comes as well, and Tony watches as he throws his head back and calls out. He's beautiful like this, untethered and unrestrained, the way he was meant to be.

Gasping and zapped of all strength, Loki collapses onto the bed next to Tony. It's ridiculous because it's the middle of the day, but Tony feels himself start to drift off. Trying to keep his eyes open, he curls on his side and stares at Loki just to have something to do.

His hair's a mess, tangled and sweaty, clinging to his temples and forehead. Tony sort of wants to reach out and push it away but he's not sure he can. Loki's been strangely untouchable today.

"Take a nap," Loki eventually says, voice velvety. He turns his head to look at Tony, expression strangely soft.

Tony sighs and closes his eyes, meaning to open them again and say something witty, but he falls asleep instead.

When he wakes up the first thing he sees is Loki, lying on his belly, propped up on a pillow and reading a book. There's a sheet covering both of them but it has slid down the delicious curve of Loki's back, pooling around his lower back. It should be forbidden to be this casually sexy, but that'd be bad for everyone, so it's probably good it isn't.

"Jarvis, I want a picture of this," Tony mumbles fuzzily, still blinking awake.

"It's already been taken care of, Sir," Jarvis replies dryly. Somehow he manages to make it sound like Tony is lecherous with just his tone of voice; Tony has no idea where that's coming from, he definitely didn't program him that way. Maybe it's the prolonged exposure to Pepper – yeah, that must be it.

Loki just looks amused at the whole thing. As opposed to most other people, he and Thor had never been put off by the disembodied voice managing Tony's house and being seemingly ever-present. Tony isn't sure what that means in relation to life on Asgard, but it only makes him want to see the place more. Not that that's ever going to happen but whatever, a guy can dream.

"Why did you let me fall asleep?" Tony whines, rolling onto his back out of habit and then immediately rolling back onto his side, because holy fuck that's uncomfortable, why does he keep forgetting that. He's pretty much damned to sleeping on his side for five more months, which is pretty annoying because he's a belly sleeper.

"Because you clearly needed it," Loki says impassively.

Tony grunts and gets up to pee, because he needs to do that pretty regularly now, and then he gets back into bed and puts a hand on Loki's back because it's right there and the bow of it is pretty. "How long?"

"A little over an hour." Loki nods towards the nightstand. "I brought you something to eat."

A fruit bowl and a can of tuna and a bag of honey-roasted peanuts, oooh. Tony throws it all together because tuna pretty much goes with anything these days as far as he's concerned, and the peanuts are nice and crunchy and it's disgusting and wonderful and Tony takes special pleasure in the grimaces people make. Clint still goes green in the face when Tony has tuna for breakfast; the best part is how he isn't allowed to say a thing about it because he has been almost stabbed with spoons several times because Tony gets a little emotional these days. It's embarrassing as fuck, but the part where it makes everybody uncomfortable and accommodating is at times very amusing. All Tony has to do to get his way by this point is to widen his eyes and let his lower lip wobble, it's brilliant. Especially the way Steve near-panics every time. Even Hulk is cowed by the face – yeah, Tony's got the power.

"Thor is talking to your director," Loki nonchalantly bursts Tony's happy, tuna-induced bubble.

"Did you talk to him?" Tony asks, licking his spoon. Maybe he should add some honey next time, the fruit juice washes it off the peanuts, which is sad.

"Why would I?" Loki's voice is sharp and he's staring hard at the book, but Tony would bet his tower that he isn't reading a word.

To risk this comfortable, unusual domesticity or not to risk it.

Well, Tony's not usually prone to taking the easy way out. "Because clearly, there are some issues here with Odin you could speak about with him." Tony got the impression that there's a lot more Thor didn't talk about; he was away for five weeks, after all. They must have discussed more than Tony's awesomeness.

"Everything that needs to be said has been said," Loki says coldly. "Odin wants nothing to do with me, which is just as well, because I don't want anything to do with him."

"Yeah, bullshit." Tony puts his bowl and spoon away and meets Loki's furious glare head-on. "I used to say that about my father – hell, I still say it, but truth of the matter is, I bent over backwards to get his approval even twenty years after he was dead. And it doesn't matter at all whether he's biologically your father or not, because he raised you and you spent the major portion of your life thinking he's your father, and no matter how much you want to disclaim him now, you can't erase that."

Loki pushes himself up and makes as if to get out of the bed, but Tony must be feeling particularly reckless today (or maybe it's the endorphins from great sex, or the nap, or the tuna, or euphoria from the recent dissolving of all their problems, or hormones) because he reaches out and grips his arm. "I'm not saying he didn't fuck up. Hell, clearly he did, majorly, for a long time. But if he really wanted to wash his hands of you he'd kick you to the curb, tell everyone that you're not really his son so they can do whatever the hell they want to do with you, and look the other way. I'm not saying- look, I don't know what I'm saying. I just want you to stop being so torn up over this whole thing."

"You speak of matters you have absolutely no authority in," Loki bites, falling back into formal speech in his rage. He's nearly vibrating with it, and yet, he's not leaving.

"Yeah, absolutely," Tony agrees freely. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, you're free. You don't have to worry about him anymore."

"You forget, he has vowed to punish me if I step out of line." Loki's voice is cold, his whole body is tense. He's a moment away from pulling out of Tony's grip and vanishing, Tony can feel it.

"Yeah." Tony clears his throat. "But you don't actually want to do the sort of thing that would get his attention."

"How do you know?" Loki turns around to sneer at him. "That is how you wish I were, but what if it's not? What if all I'm doing is biding my time? I'll get bored eventually."

Tony flinches, because that's a valid concern of his. He's not all that entertaining if you take all the flashiness away. "Because the sort of thing that would get Odin's attention is not something someone does because they're bored. It's the sort of thing you do because you want somebody's attention. You don't want to subjugate a planet because you want to control it but because you want to prove to someone that you can." It's a scream for attention on a scale most people can't hope to achieve, but a scream for attention nevertheless. Tony knows a bit about that, too. The only reason he didn't land in front of a judge and eventually prison is because he never injured somebody and because his father was insanely rich and cared about his own reputation enough to make all the property damage Tony caused go away. It took Tony a damn long time to learn that people won't love you just because you want them to. Hate is easier, but sometimes just as difficult to incur; disinterest is the worst thing there is, but if that's what you get all you can do is go home and lick your wounds in private.

"You don't know me," Loki hisses, pulling his arm out of Tony's grip and turning away.

The way he doesn't leave afterwards tells a different story.

They don't speak much afterwards – or at all, really. Tony has a quick shower, the pleasant ache in his limbs reminding him how great the middle of the day was, but by this point he feels pretty similar to the way he felt this morning. Tense as fuck, restless and on the edge, ready to flip a lid at the slightest provocation.

Just before dinner, Thor comes to tell him that Fury wants to see him. Tony knows that he could stall until tomorrow, because Bruce has strict rules about mealtimes and the time between after dinner and before breakfast, giving Tony a convenient out-clause if he doesn't feel like dealing with anyone, but he just wants to get this shit over with, so he goes.

Fury is pissed, more than usual, because he fucking hates it when Odin tells him what to do and he hates even more when there's nothing he can do about it, which is generally every time it happens. It's not a good combination; within five minutes they're yelling at each other. At any other time it would be cathartic but right when things get interesting – Tony's just yelling that it's nobody's business who he fucks while Fury gets ready to take out the "you're only on this fucking team because you bought your way onto it, I can throw you out anytime" card – Tony almost faints. Things had been getting a little blurry around the edges but Tony hadn't paid attention because he was just done with this bullshit, he was livid, and the next moment he's sitting in a chair, a wet towel on his forehead and a glass of water being held to his lips while somebody else fans him air with a folder like he's some Victorian maiden. In the background Fury shouts that he's going to kill someone if Stark passes out on him, and somebody replies sharply that in that case, Fury should restrain himself and not yell at him next time. It's Coulson, Tony realizes a moment later, fucking Coulson playing the hero to Tony's damsel in distress.

This day officially fucking sucks. Tony wants no part of it anymore.

Unfortunately, when he tries to stand there's suddenly about five pairs of hands pressing him down again telling him to stay put, a doctor's on the way, have some water Mr. Stark, just breathe Mr. Stark, if you try to get up again we'll tie you to this chair Mr. Stark.

Fuck.

It's only a matter of time before his friends hear of this because Jarvis has ears everywhere and he has no qualms about telling Steve when Tony risks his health, which lately means letting him know when it's time to bring Tony a snack or drag him out of the workshop. These days Tony sleeps every night for at least eight hours; he hasn't had this much sleep since he was eleven.

Five minutes later the whole team storms Fury's office – seriously, the whole team plus Loki. Steve is wearing the face that means he disapproves so highly he's actually angry, and he doesn't turn it on Tony but on Fury. Bruce makes a beeline for Tony while Clint and Natasha start to whisper furiously with Coulson; Thor has one hand on Loki's arm and seems to be holding him back while Loki glares at Fury who is involved in a hissed conversation with Steve.

"Okay," Tony says. "I think I want to leave now."

"No," Bruce rebuffs him sharply. He looks like he's about to hulk out. "Your blood pressure's elevated, your pupils are dilated and I don't like the way you look. Stay in this chair."

"Never fear!" Clint suddenly pops up. "This chair's got wheels." With that, he and Natasha take hold of the chair's armrests and start to push him out of the room and down the hall towards the elevator.

"Are we kidnapping Fury's chair right now?" Tony asks incredulously. He can't remember if that's the one he was pushed into; he lost some time there.

"Hell yeah!" Cling exclaims.

"He deserves it," Natasha adds seriously.

Okay then. Tony's fully on board with this.

"So I hear you got yourselves a sweet deal with Thor's dad," Clint comments casually while Natasha goes through the fingerprint pupil scan voice recognition thing that is necessary to get up into the Avengers part of the tower.

"Basically he doesn't care what we do as long as Loki and the child don't fuck up; if they do he'll kill them both. Also he'll punish everybody who tries to do it for him," Tony recaps. He's not sure how much the two of them know of Loki and Odin's deal.

"That guy definitely doesn't win the Father of the Year award," Clint says. "But I guess it's better than nothing, eh?"

"It's way better than how he reacted to Loki's other children, that's for sure," Natasha points out. All three of them shudder.

The elevator's doors open at the top and Clint and Natasha push Tony out, heading for the kitchen. Clint isn't done with the topic yet, though. "No wonder the guy is so screwed up with a father like that. To be honest, I'm surprised he's so sane."

"Yeah." Tony is too, all things considered.

"He didn't use to be," Natasha reminds them, "but I guess he's getting there."

"He's a hell of a lot saner than the last time I met him," Clint agrees. "He even sorta apologized."

"Did he?" Tony's surprised by that; he wouldn't have expected it at all.

"Yeah." Clint positions him at the table and heads over to the fridge, sending him a glance. "Said he knows what it's like to be a tool and he regrets passing the feeling on or something like that. Whaddaya think, lasagna? There's still enough leftover from yesterday."

Ah, Steve's self-made lasagna. Perfect. "Yes."

"Also salad," Natasha adds. The two of them go about making dinner, which doesn't take much; some microwave action and some mixing of pre-cut salad with one of those organic, preservatives-free powdered dressings Natasha likes so much. They put all of it on a tray which Natasha carries over into the living room while Clint pushes Tony over; this is actually funny. Especially the thought of Fury standing in his office because Tony has his chair while Steve scolds him.

Maybe he should be worried that Loki and Thor are there as well, but he really doesn't have the energy for that right now.

Clint parks him in front of the couch with exaggerated screeching noises. "Transfer," he orders. When Tony sits safely on the sofa he takes the chair away and then starts throwing pillows and a blanket at Tony so he can get comfortable. In the meantime Natasha arranges the plates on the table and puts it right in front of Tony for easy reach. It's both sweet and a little freaky, the two of them taking care of Tony like this. Not that they've never helped each other out, but usually it's Steve who does this sort of mother henning-like thing. They don't even force him to watch something horrible; it's a Doctor Who marathon, Tony can totally get behind that.

About half an hour after they've gotten comfortable the others come back.

"Tony, are you alright?" Steve asks anxiously and immediately starts to fuss, feeling Tony's forehead like there's an actual point to doing that.

"I'm fine," Tony mumbles. What he is is tired; he ate all the food, even the salad and fruit, and then he had a hot chocolate Clint made him (he's not sure this is real life, Clint didn't even complain, just went and made him one, with mint syrup even, just the way Tony likes it). On the screen the doctor is trying to prevent everybody from watching Elisabeth II's coronation in order to prevent the British population from becoming mindless slaves, which is hilarious on so many levels. Still, Tony's about to drift off.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. is going to move out," Loki says. That wakes Tony up pretty quick.

"Who with the what now?" He pushes himself up; Natasha mutes the TV.

"Apparently he has issues with me living in the Avengers headquarter," Loki relays with fake indifference. "Your Captain here told him that it's none of his business who the Avengers live with."

Tony turns his wide eyes on Steve, who ducks his head, looking both embarrassed and determined. "Fury said that this is also a S.H.I.E.L.D. office and that it's very much his business who lives above it. Loki pointed out that this is your tower and that he can move out anytime if he doesn't like who you allow to reside in it."

"I'm not sure which one of you I want to blow more right now," Tony says.

Steve turns deep red and looks vaguely scandalized, sending worried looks towards Loki. Loki just raises an eyebrow back at Steve, because this is something Tony and he have in common – they'd both do Steve if the opportunity ever presented itself. They actually have a ranking of who of the Avengers they would do which basically includes all of them except Thor, because Tony does have a bit of self-preservation and nope, not going there. Thor's hot, but nobody is that hot.

"Can we go back to the part where Fury's moving out?" Clint requests. "How the hell did that happen?"

Loki rolls his eyes. "Apparently I'm a national security risk and S.H.I.E.L.D. is going to reconsider its involvement with the Avengers."

Tony snorts. "Right, as if. They need us way more than we need them."

"Technically Clint and I are S.H.I.E.L.D. agents," Natasha reminds them.

"As if we're giving you back," Tony retorts. He sinks back into his pillows, getting comfortable. "This turned out surprisingly nicely."

"There'll be some sort of fall-out," Steve cautions even as he sits down in his armchair. Thor takes the other couch with Bruce while Loki unceremoniously lifts Tony's feet, sits down and puts them in his lap.

"We'll deal with that when it comes," Bruce says.

"Go team," Clint agrees. Natasha turns the sound on again and Loki starts to massage Tony's feet under the blanket.

Tony's asleep within five minutes.