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The cave is small, maybe twenty feet across with a shallow pool in the middle. Uncomfortably cold, too, although part of the chill was due to the fact that he’s soaking wet, from the tops of his wings all the way to his taloned feet.
He’d already searched the entire place several times over, even briefly attempting a short dive underwater only to nearly sink from the weight of his wings. He’s stuck. He knows the air is coming through from somewhere, but all the holes he found are far too small for him to slip through. Somehow, he’d been brought here through the sea.
But why?
The last thing he remembers is the shipwreck he’d been pulling Commission agents from. The waves were awful, and he hadn’t been paying enough attention, and had completely missed the wave until it was about to wash over him.
He’d struggled, but he could barely see through the dark water. He’d… passed out? And then woke up here, cold and wet.
A splash from the deeper pool jolts him back to attention. His rescuer? He watches the surface of the water carefully, eyes widening when a head full of white hair emerges.
“You’re awake!” Blue eyes crinkle as he smiles and drags enough of his body out of the water for Hawks to realize he has a tail instead of legs. A merman. Or a siren? One of them is more dangerous than the other.
“Did you bring me here?” Hawks asks cautiously. It’s best not to accuse him of anything yet. Not before he knows his temperament.
“Yep. You almost drowned out there! Birds aren’t too great with water, huh?” Hawks’ feathers ruffle a bit at the name. He’s a harpy , not a bird.
“Uh, no. Thanks for saving me. Is there a way out of here that I missed? All the openings are too small for me to get through.”
The other man blinks for a moment before grinning at him. “The only way out of here is underwater. So, unless you’ve got some gills hidden somewhere, I think you’re stuck.”
He dives back under the water before Hawks can respond, surfacing again with a few apples that he tosses to Hawks. “Here!” he says, “I wasn’t sure if you’d want seafood right after waking up, so I grabbed these instead. They should all be good.”
Hawks scoops one up, taking a large bite. It’s bitter. He watches the man as he chews. His tail rises out of the water behind him, splashing water around the cave. It’s the same deep blue as his eyes. It continues to right under his belly button, where it fades into more human-looking skin mixed with odd patches of blue scaling.
“What’s your name?” Hawks asks.
“Touya” is the answer he gets, and he shudders as the voice tickles his ears. Mermaids don’t sound like that. Sirens do.
He’s in danger.
“How did I get here?”
“I swam you down here!” Touya answers brightly. “It was rough-going, but we made it before you could drown. It would’ve really sucked if you had, I’ve been waiting for my chance to take you for ages.”
A chill settles over Hawks’ skin. The cave suddenly feels that much smaller around him.
“Take me?” he echoes
Touya splashes his tail in the water a few times before pulling himself out, and Hawks watches transfixed as the blue scales fade away and the single tail separates into two human legs. Humans would describe Touya as beautiful, with his smooth-looking skin and shapely legs. Hawks thinks the tail was better; at least with it, Touya was stuck in the water instead of walking towards him.
“I’ve watched you for a while now,” Touya murmurs, standing up to walk towards Hawks. For every step he takes forward, Hawks takes one back. “You were always so pretty up there, flying around in the air above the Magical Creature Commission’s ship. Too far away for me to ever do anything but see those red wings against the blue in the sky. But any time someone was in trouble, you dove down to help them out. I knew if there was an accident, I might be able to get close enough to grab you.”
Hawks’ back hits the cold rock that marks the edge of the cave. “You caused the shipwreck.”
Touya nods in affirmation. “It’s always so easy. Just hum a little and they start dreaming about the things they want most. The captain wasn’t an exception, he drove the ship straight into the rocks while imagining himself a rich man.” Touya laughs as he steps in front of Hawks, their feet colliding as he crowds his space. “Now he’s a dead one.”
Touya’s breath is warm against his cheek. Hawks shivers as one of Touya’s hands cards through his hair, long nails scratching gently at his scalp. Touya starts making a low crooning noise and Hawks feels his muscles relax involuntarily, slumping back against the rocks with only Touya’s free arm to stop him from falling to the ground. So this is a siren’s power. No wonder his instincts always warn him away from tails in the deep seas.
“Wow, you’re easier than I thought you’d be. Are harpies more susceptible, or are you just lonely?” Touya presses a kiss against Hawks’ fluttering eyelids. “I’m not complaining. It’s not like I want to deal with an angry harpy, but it is kind of anti-climactic after all the time and effort it took to bring you here. Do you know how hard it is to find a cave that could hold you, but that isn’t so far away that you wouldn’t drown before reaching it?”
“Don’t wanna be here.” Hawks slurs, tongue feeling loose in his mouth. “Can’t keep me here.”
Touya presses a kiss to his chin this time. “How’re you planning on getting out? The only way to escape is through the water, and last time I checked, those wings weren’t great for underwater travel. And there’s no way I’m swimming you back up to the surface, not after all the work I put into getting you here in the first place. I’m keeping you here, my own little pet bird, no one else’s.”
Touya kisses his cheek, his forehead, the tip of his nose, humming all the while. When wet lips press against his own, Hawks lets out a whimper. Touya captures Hawks’ bottom lip between his teeth, tugging slightly before releasing it to dive in for another kiss. Touya’s hands wrap around his waist, tugging him up and encouraging Hawks to wrap his legs around him with a particularly convincing note in his song.
Hawks’ mouth falls open in a gasp when Touya rolls their hips together. Hawks has rarely touched anyone other than the humans he rescues. Harpies without families are solitary creatures, and Hawks’ parents kicked him from the nest as soon as he was old enough to fly. The Commission agents had been content to let him keep his distance, so long as he flew down whenever they needed him. This kind of pleasure is something he’s never experienced before, and it makes his head feel fuzzy.
“You’re so damn cute,” Touya whispers in between kisses against his neck. Hawks chirps involuntarily as heat builds in his stomach. “Been wondering what you’d sound like for so long. They say a harpy undone by pleasure sings the sweetest songs. Will you sing for me?”
A warble escapes his mouth when Touya bites down on his collarbone. His hands are fisted in the sensitive bases of Hawks’ wings, fingers ruffling the soft downy feathers there. Hawks arches against the feeling, forcing his body even closer to Touya’s. His talons score across Touya’s back, and Touya moans at the feeling.
“Need… a nest,” Hawks begs, his instincts starting to overtake him. It’s too cold and wet here; not safe. He’s meant to be somewhere warm and dry. He’s meant to be safe in a nest, with his chosen mate. Not trapped in an underwater cave with someone he just met.
“Shhhhhhhh, you’re fine, you’re okay,” Touya’s voice doesn’t calm the panic building in him, but it mutes it, covers it with a heavy blanket that’s hard to struggle against. Hawks knows it’s wrong, but he can’t bring himself to complain. Not when Touya’s rucking up his shirt to scratch his nails across Hawks’ ribs, not when his pants are ripped off him, and Touya takes his dick in his hand and strokes .
“Ahhh- please, not like- hng- not like this!”
Touya’s carrying him somewhere, but Hawks realizes with dread that instead of towards the cozy nest he’s inwardly crying for, it’s towards the small pool Touya walked out of earlier. He fights halfheartedly through the fog Touya’s song has put him in, but they still slip into the water together. Hawks shivers as his body temperature lowers even more, and presses himself tightly to Touya.
“See? I told you it’s okay. Sirens spend most of our time in the water, so you’ll have to get used to it.”
Touya strokes his dick faster, wringing stuttered cries from his mouth. His wings flap in the water, spraying little droplets everywhere. He can feel Touya’s eyes watching him when he finally releases, dirtying the water.
He rests his head on Touya’s shoulder, panting.
Something hard presses against his stomach as Touya’s hands wander to his backside. Hawks doesn’t have the energy to resist as a finger penetrates him.
“Such a good bird for me, so sweet and soft. I’m gonna feel so nice inside you, gonna fill you up with all my eggs.”
Hawks tries to pull away, but Touya sinks further into the water, up to their shoulders, and Hawks flounders.
“Stop trying to pull away from me or I’ll have to hurt you!” Touya reprimands him, adding another finger inside of him. Hawks wiggles at the feeling, but doesn’t try to escape again. His wings are heavy with water now. He knows he’ll sink like a stone if Touya lets go.
“I’m a mammal, Touya. It’s too cold for me here.” Hawks begs. “I’m not made to live in a cave or anything like that. I need the sunlight.”
Touya presses kisses to his eyelids and cheeks as he talks. “You weren’t made to follow the Commission’s orders either, but you still did it. Face it, you’re barely a harpy anyway. You don’t have a flock or anything.” The words cut deeply, and Hawks can’t tell if it’s because of Touya’s siren abilities, or because of how true they are. “I can give you a family though. I love you already, and so will our kids.”
“I can’t even go anywhere with you!” Hawks cries. “I’d just have to wait here all day, alone, for you to come back!”
Touya shushes him gently, and eases his dick inside Hawks, rocking him up and down slowly in the water. “But I’ll always come back to my pretty little songbird, don’t worry. And once we start having babies, you’ll have plenty to keep you occupied while I’m gone.” He groans and gives a particularly deep thrust that has Hawks’ breath stuttering. “God, you’ll look so pretty with your belly swollen and full.”
His voice sends a rush of heat through Hawks, and he clenches around him. He’s still so cold in the water, but at least Touya’s holding onto him, keeping him safe.
“It hurts,” he whimpers, nails scrabbling against the patchy scales on Touya’s back. “Slow down.”
“I can’t, you just feel too good.” Touya moans. The thrusts come faster, leaving Hawks breathless. He can’t come again this soon, but he can feel his dick hardening again involuntarily, rubbing against Touya’s stomach.
When Touya finally does come, it’s almost scorching hot, making him whimper and sink his teeth into his neck in retribution. Touya’s hips stutter for a moment before finally coming to a stop. Hawks doesn’t fight when Touya lays him face-down on the edge of the pool and puts his face between Hawks’ thighs.
“Now, where is it?” Touya asks, slipping a finger inside him. Hawks jolts, still far too sensitive, but doesn’t try to move until he feels Touya’s finger poke at a soft slit inside of him. “Aha! I knew you had one. All harpies do, even the male ones.”
“No, no, no!” Hawks starts to scrabble away, only for Touya to pull him back by his ankle. The rough stone underneath him stings his back as he slides across it.
“Shh, just calm down. I’m gonna make sure it doesn’t hurt, I promise.” Touya tries his fingers again, rubbing at the extra entrance before slowly slipping a finger inside.
“Please, Touya, don’t— it’s for my eggs, please don’t—” Hawks tries not to cry at the violation, but it’s difficult, with Touya taking what he wants so easily.
“It’s for our eggs,” Touya breathes, staring intensely at the way Hawks’ opening stretches around his fingers. “I’m in my breeding season right now. I’ve tried so hard to wait for you, and here you are.” He grins up at Hawks, humming a bit so Hawks goes pliant and weak. “It’s perfect timing. You’re gonna carry my eggs and we’re gonna make a family together, baby.”
Hawks cries out when the second finger slips inside. It’s too much, far too sensitive. That place is only for a mate , not someone who just takes like this.
“I think you can take me now, don’t you?” Touya asks, slipping his hand away. Hawks shakes his head weakly, scrunching his eyes shut. He can feel Touya line himself up anyway, rubbing at his entrance like he’s asking permission, even though Hawks knows he’ll go in without it.
“Please be gentle,” he finally manages to choke out, and Touya leans over him to press a soft kiss to his forehead.
“I’ll make it as good for you as I can.”
A tear finally slips out then, rolling down the side of his cheek onto the cold stone as Touya carefully slips inside him, then even more gently pushes into his second entrance. Hawks shudders and tries to force himself to relax.
“Can you sing for me again? I can’t—” he chokes on the words, humiliated that he’s asking Touya for help to make his violation easier. But then again, he doesn’t think he can bear being torn there. If he ever does escape, and manages to choose his own mate, then—
He needs to be whole.
Touya starts to sing, the words unknown to Hawks, and he slowly untenses, even as something snaps and breaks inside him. Touya moves slowly, one long slide inside him instead of pushing in all at once. Hawks is grateful, and then ashamed of himself for being grateful for something so small.
He can’t quite catch his breath when Touya’s hips meet his ass—it feels like he’s all the way up in his lungs . Touya murmurs things he can’t quite hear into the nape of his neck, but just the sound of his voice makes him weak and boneless against the stone. Touya pulls out slowly only to grind his way back in. Hawks whimpers as his body opens up more and more for the man violating him.
“It’s so warm and tight inside you,” Touya moans, “I wish we could stay like this forever. Wish it wouldn't have taken so long to get you here.” He presses wet kisses up the length of Hawks’ neck. “If you’re good, if you take care of my eggs like you’re supposed to, maybe I can bring you some nesting stuff.”
Hawks’ mind screams mate, mate , at Touya’s offer to build him a nest. He scrunches up his face and tries not to cry. He knows how bad having another species’ eggs inside him will feel. He’ll be fighting against his instincts to destroy them all.
Touya starts to sing again—this time, directly into Hawks’ ear—and he all but collapses like a puppet with his strings cut. He can almost feel the music in his brain, telling him not to fight as the first egg slips into his passage.
Touya runs gentle hands across his back, playing with his feathers as the eggs slowly fill him. The song never ends; Touya must realize how important it is that Hawks doesn’t fight this, doesn’t accidentally damage any of his brood.
Their brood.
His stomach feels swollen, distended—harpies usually only lay one or two eggs at a time, but sirens lay hundreds. What happens if he can’t fit them all? Would Touya just keep filling him until he bursts? If Hawks looks down, will he even recognize his own body, filled with Touya’s spawn?
He groans when Touya reaches a hand under him to push gently against his stomach, feeling just how large he’s gotten.
“I knew you could take it.” The words of praise whispered into his ear make him keen with pleasure. “Such a good bird, right? Doing whatever I need you to. I knew you were perfect for me from the first time I saw you, knew we were meant to be mates, no matter what that asshole said.”
Hawks whimpers at the venom in Touya’s voice. It sets him on edge, makes him feel like he hasn’t been doing his job as a good mate, even though the last thing he wants to be for Touya is a good mate .
He knows the longer he’s here, the more he’ll lose to those instincts to please. Touya will win, get exactly what he wants. A pretty little songbird waiting at his beck and call. Hawks won’t stand a chance.
Touya finally slips out, and Hawks sighs in relief that it’s over. He rolls over onto his back, wincing at the pressure it puts on his wings. They’re still soaking wet and cold from the pool. All of him is soaking wet and cold.
“Touya?” He rasps, hearing only a splash in return. “Touya?”
Nothing. He’s gone already.
Hawks isn’t good enough to make him stay.
I don’t want him to stay.
Traitorous tears sting his eyes as he pulls himself completely out of the pool and onto a drier rock. It’s not any warmer. There’s no sunlight down here, but there’s a source of air somewhere, one just strong enough to send weak breezes that make him shiver. The eggs inside his stomach are cold too, freezing him from the inside-out.
He’s not sure how long he lays there—knows that he sleeps at some point, but can’t bring himself to eat or drink more than a few sips of the freezing cold water. He starts to believe he’ll die like this, cold and alone without ever seeing the sun again.
When Touya finally does come back, he’s angry.
“Our eggs won’t grow if you stop eating ,” he growls, shoving another bitter apple towards Hawks’ face. He tried fish earlier, but Hawks had just vomited it back up. “If you kill our brood, I’ll—”
“‘S not on purpose,” Hawks whispers through the ache in his throat. “Too cold.”
“All the stuff I brought you is gonna take a while to dry out!” Touya yelled, motioning to the blankets and wood he’d dragged underwater to the cave, all sopping wet and freezing. “I thought harpies were supposed to be strong , you’re not supposed to get sick like this…”
He sniffles, hiding his face in Hawks’ shoulder, and Hawks gently pats his head. Touya’s awful, but at least he seems to regret getting Hawks sick? The Commission would’ve seen it as an opportunity to test his flight while feverish or something. Touya’s at least trying to take care of him, in his own fucked up way.
Touya pulls away after a few minutes. “I’m gonna get you help, okay? Just wait here.”
He slips back into the pool, and Hawks is alone again, the wet spot on his chest where Touya was laying on him making him even colder than he was before.
At some point later, Touya comes back again , this time with another siren who argues loudly with him, the sound making the pounding in Hawks’ skull even worse.
“Why would you do something like this?! You have to let him go, he’s dying !”
“I can’t let him leave! He’s my partner now, he’s even got my eggs inside him!”
Hawks whimpers at the reminder of how swollen and cold his stomach feels.
“Then you have to tell the old man. Otherwise he’ll die, and your eggs along with him. I can’t help you here.”
“I thought you were learning medicine now, why not?”
“Because I have ice magic, Touya, and he needs heat. If you don’t trust your own magic enough to do it without hurting him or yourself, then get Dad down here. It’s your choice.”
Hawks hears a smack—skin on skin, someone’s been hurt—and then another, accompanied by a short thud of someone falling to the ground. Normally, he’d get up and try to help, but he can’t even lift his head right now to look.
“I’m coming back tomorrow, and if he doesn’t look any better, I’m telling Dad myself.”
There’s a splash behind him, and then Touya’s arms wrap around Hawks as he lays down beside him. He’s cold and wet, like always, but his presence still soothes that ache in the back of Hawks’ mind that’s been crying for his mate to come take care of him.
“You need to eat,” Touya murmurs into the nape of his neck. Even his breath is cold. “You won’t get any better if you’re starving to death.”
He hums a tune that makes Hawks’ limbs feel even heavier, and forces tiny pieces of wet, mushy bread into his mouth. Hawks wonders vaguely where he got it from. Sirens only eat what they can get from the sea.
“I’m gonna fix you, I promise. I’ll make sure you’re happy here, with our babies. I’ll make sure you'll be full of new ones every season, so you’ll always have someone around, even once one brood starts swimming, you’ll have a new one to stay here with you all day, okay? And I’ll come here too, you’ll never be lonely, I promise , you just have to stay with me, okay?”
The cold stone digs into his head, but Hawks still tries to nod, tries to be good for his mate so he won’t leave again.
The last thing Hawks wants is to die alone.
Touya leaves anyway, eventually, no matter how much Hawks cries and tries to cling to him with numb, shaking limbs.
Time keeps passing by like this; Hawks isn’t sure how long it goes on, since he’s sleeping more and more, only waking up when Touya shakes him to try and shove food in his mouth. It’s always freezing cold, even after Touya manages to light a fire with damp wood that smokes more than burns. He drags Hawks beside it, and he struggles to breathe through the heavy smoke. Touya curses when he starts coughing, and pulls him into his chest.
“Shhh, it’s okay, you’re okay.”
“I’m not,” Hawks croaks, and falls into a coughing fit. “I’m dying, you’re killing me.”
“I love you,” Touya insists, and Hawks wonders what it says about him that Touya’s the only person to ever tell him this.
Touya puts out the smoking fire, and the chill buries itself even deeper into Hawks.
Hawks isn’t sure if hours or years pass before it ends, but at some point, he wakes up next to a huge, warm body that chases away the cold on his skin—but doesn’t quite reach his bones. The man is angry, that much is obvious, but the hand that touches Hawks’ head is gentle, even if the voice that speaks to Touya is stern.
“I warned you against this. A creature meant for the sky isn’t meant for someone from the sea.”
“I love him, Dad! I just need you to help me keep him warm, and it’ll all work out—”
“Touya.”
Hawks struggles to open his eyes, and whimpers at the sight of his mate with his head lowered, face scrunched up with tears, and body shaking slightly. Hawks wants to reach out to him, but he’s filled with a bone-deep exhaustion that keeps him where he is. The voice seems to notice he’s awake now, though, as the hand stops carding through his hair.
Hawks misses it.
The man sighs. “The warmer he becomes, the less likely it will be that your eggs survive, son. But if he stays this cold, then he likely won’t survive the pregnancy.”
Touya sobs, rubbing at his face with his hands. “Then?”
“You have to decide. You can only save one of them. Either your clutch, or your harpy.”
Some part of Hawks distantly recognizes how fucked up this is, that they’re discussing whether he lives or dies right in front of him, but, then again, he hasn’t had choices over anything else in his life, so why should he get to choose if he lives?
And some part of him wonders if Touya will pick him.
Touya looks pathetic right now, face red and splotchy with tears. He keeps sniffling, trying to keep it together, and only managing to make himself look weaker.
Hawks, on the other hand, is oddly calm. It’s easy to detach, knowing his life, his freedom, his future—none of it belongs to him anyway.
“I want Hawks, Dad. Please help him.” Touya’s voice cracks as he says it, and he steps forward and kneels, grabbing Hawks’ hand with two of his own, holding it to his forehead as if in prayer. “I can’t lose him.”
The man—Touya’s dad—sighs again. “Hold his arms down. Use your voice if you must, but that might make things worse in the long term.”
Touya grabs Hawks’ other hand and pins them both to the cold stone beside his head. Hawks wonders why, when all he can feel is the gentle warmth growing more and more, until it pierces even the deepest cold in his bones, and then even further, curling to that icy core in his stomach.
Then, he starts to scream.
When he wakes, Touya is holding him, murmuring soft things in his ear that keep him feeling floaty and soft. Hawks stretches his arms above his head, and Touya runs his hand down his side, tickling him into laughter.
“How’re you feeling?”
“Good.” Hawks turns and nuzzles into Touya’s chest. “Kiss?” He turns his face up expectantly, and is surprised when Touya looks upset. “You don’t… want to?” His voice wobbles a little as he asks, the sting of rejection filling his body.
Touya cups his cheek and kisses him gently, like he thinks he’ll hurt him.
He already has.
“I always wanna kiss you, sweet bird. You’ve just been asleep for a while, is all.”
“How long?” Hawks asks, head tilting. His memories feel… off. He knows instinctively who Touya is—his mate—but other than that, everything feels fuzzy, undefined. He thinks he should feel more panicked over how little he remembers, how little he knows, but all he feels is warm and safe.
“It’s been a few days. Do you remember what happened?”
Hawks shakes his head, and Touya’s arms relax around him.
“You almost drowned,” Touya’s breath hitches and Hawks presses a kiss to his shoulder. “You usually stay in your cave—you love it here—but for some reason you left, and I…” His chest heaves with a sob. “I almost didn’t find you in time.”
Hawks is… confused. Touya’s story doesn’t seem right, even though he knows it must be true, knows his mate wouldn’t lie to him, but still. Why would he go in the water? And why does he live in a cave when he has wings?
“Was I trying to go fly?” he asks uncertainly. It’s the only explanation that feels like it might make sense. Just like he knows Touya is his mate, Hawks knows he’s meant to fly.
“Oh, birdie,” Touya kisses his head twice. “You can’t fly. You’re missing too many feathers for it, see?”
He tugs on Hawks’ wings until Hawks sits up and spreads them out. He sees immediately what Touya’s talking about. The long flight feathers that he would need to glide are gone, only short, scorched feathers that barely reach past his shoulders left.
“You got caught in a fire, years ago, and dropped into the ocean. You were so deep when I found you that I had to bring you here. I didn’t think you’d make it back to the surface. You haven’t been able to fly since.”
Touya’s words don’t sound false, but they don’t sound true either, and Hawks wonders what’s missing. “And we’re?” he asks, even though he already knows the answer.
“Mates,” Touya breathes, bringing Hawks close and kissing him firmly. “You love me, and I love you. I need you to know that, even if you don’t remember anything.”
Hawks nods, and promises himself to be careful and quiet until he figures out what really happened to him, even if his instincts scream at him to trust Touya, to tell Touya everything.
“Can I go back to sleep? I’m really tired,” he says, blinking slowly at Touya. He shifts to make himself more comfortable, and doesn’t wince at the sharp twinge of pain in his lower abdomen. If he almost drowned, why does his stomach ache like this? Why does he feel like something is missing?
“Sure, little bird. I’ll be here when you wake up.” Touya starts to hum, and Hawks’ body goes completely lax.
Before he falls asleep, he makes note of the three things he does remember.
Hawks and Touya are mates.
Hawks is meant to fly.
And a harpy’s wings always grow back.