Chapter Text
Tatsuya loved his twin brother as much as he hated himself for loving him.
Anyone who knew about the Bakugou twins would tell you that despite their uncanny identical looks, their personalities are the stark opposite.
Tatsuya, the older twin, was every mom’s model son. He’s handsome, smart, and athletic. He constantly ranked first on every test and he was the ace pitcher of their high school baseball team. He’s also a bright and cheerful kid. He befriends many, yet no one had ever seen him showing hints of conceit or arrogance like many gifted kids would. If he ever did, then it’s because he’s just so naturally talented that he’s not good at understanding ‘the struggle of the masses as someone once put it, leading to his motivational speeches grinding people’s gears. But then they’d quickly realize that he meant no ill wills.
Katsuki, the younger twin, however, was a problem child. While his grade was nothing to scoop at by normal standard, he fell short compared to his brother’s perfect grades. He was always criticized by the teachers for his sloppy way of dress, and his tendency to bark back at them. He disliked people and preferred to keep to himself, his peers would find his constant bratty mood to be amusing, but the adults would say he was antisocial and rebellious. Worse yet, while his brother was the star of their baseball team, Katsuki participated in boxing, the one “violence” sport that wouldn’t earn him any points with adults.
Katsuki was the only black spot in his older twin’s otherwise perfect life, it’s amazing how the two of them could even get along.
At least, that’s how people would see it from the outside.
Tatsuya never understood how people saw the two of them, and immediately labels him as “the good twin” and his precious brother as “the bad twin”. In his opinion, Katsuki was always the better, the truer, the more amazing version of him. He never cared about putting up a mask to please people, he never saw the need to snuggle up to adult or be a model kid. Katsuki was just… being himself, a “himself” that was so brilliant in a way Tatsuya could never be.
Tatsuya loved, loved, loved his brother.
May be too much and too inappropriate for a brother.
The worst part was, that he knew exactly how and when did it start.
It was the summer of their 6th grade, their parents sent the twins to their grandparents’ home in the countryside for a vacation.
Amidst scorching heat, cicadas, and many afternoons spent bug catching or soaking in the river, Tatsuya could say they enjoyed their summer vacation so much that they even discuss what illness they should fake in order not to have to come home.
One afternoon, when they were in the forest searching for some bugs, Katsuki came out of the bush looking puzzled and kept massaging one side of his chest.
“What’s wrong, Katsu?”
“My chest, it’s itchy!” He complained.
Without thinking, Tatsuya stepped up and lifted his brother's shirt, “let me see,” he demanded.
Katsuki’s sun-kissed skin he saw a million times was exposed before his eyes, but this time with an unusual addition. His left nipple was swollen up, the areola perked up into an angry red bump.
The moment cool air met his nipple, Katsuki let out a whine and immediately set his hand on it again, scratching like crazy.
“Oh fuck, it’s so itchy.”
“Language, Katsu, and stop your hand for a second so I can see.”
Tatsuya had to grab his brother’s hand and push it out of the way to see the nipple better, it looked even more swollen up close. In fact, Katsuki’s boyish nipple now sort of resembled the kind he once saw on his friend’s phone when they hushed up behind the school, dirty magazines in hands.
An unknown yet familiar sensation pooled low in Tatsuya’s stomach, and he gulped unconsciously.
Like in a trance, he pressed a finger on Katsuki’s nipple, slowly massaging around the head.
“Uhmm, fuck, Tatsu, your finger’s so cold,” Katsuki moaned and arched up on his finger.
“Really?” He said breathlessly, “Does it feel better when I do this?” He grabbed the nipple using his thumb and index finger, twisting and pulling it out then scratching the head.
“Ohhh, fuck yes, do it more Tatsu,” Katsuki groaned, throwing his head back.
Growing bolder, Tatsuya pushed his brother backward until his back met a tree, he kept a firm hand over Katsuki’s shoulder to prevent him from wriggling free. His other hand kept twisting, kneading, and scratching Katsuki’s poor swollen nipple, while his twin groaned and moaned in satisfaction at having his itch relieved.
The more Tatsuya messed with it, the more Katsuki’s nipple perked out, the red had spread over the nearby skin, creating a glistening flushed look.
Tatsuya was panting hard without understanding why, the looks of his twin’s swollen nipple and the noise he was making drove him dizzy as he kept repeating the motion as if hypnotized. He’s pressing closer and closer to Katsuki’s body, close enough for his moist breath to puff on his fingers and Katsuki’s chest. Without thinking, he opened his mouth, giving the engorged head a lick.
“Hmmm,” Katsuki let out a high-pitched whine and pushed his chest out, causing the whole nipple to slip into his mouth. For a second, Tatsuya had the whole thing on the tip of his tongue, he could taste the salty sweat and feel the hot throbbing of Katsuki’s tiny nub over his sensitive taste buds.
And, just as quickly as the urge came, Tatsuya’s trance broke. He pulled himself from Katsuki’s body as if he was stung and took several steps back, horrified at what he’d done.
“Tatsu?” Katsuki weakly asked. He’s still leaning back on the tree, looking at him with his half-lidded eyes, tears track on his flushed face, his hands still gripping the hem of his shirt, lifting it high to expose his torso.
Tatsuya’s blood went all south at the scene in front of him.
“I- I need to I have- have something to do!” He blurted out and bolted, ignoring his brother’s call after him.
Tatsuya jumped into the stream and let his whole body be immersed under the cold water, willing his body heat to go down. What was wrong with him? Why did he have such fluttery feeling all of the sudden toward his brother?
But try as he might, he still couldn’t get rid of the feeling of Katsuki’s nipple under his fingers, the taste of it on his tongue, or Katsuki’s debauched yet still innocent looks after he messed with him.
He wandered around all day, trying to make head or tail of this new feeling, and only returned to his gramps’ house after the sun had set.
He was greeted by the sigh of his twin brother on the gate, half naked with a bandage over his nipple.
Fuck.
“Why the fuck did you run off? I have to go home by myself you know.” His brother pouted at him, and Tatsuya cursed himself as the word ‘adorable’ flashed across his mind.
“Sorry, I- why don’t you have a shirt on?” He tried to deflect the question.
“What do you mean why, I never wear a shirt at home.”
“R-right,” due to the unbearable heatwave, almost all boys around the village opted to go without shirts and the twins only wear ones when they went out because their grandma strongly insisted, but at home, she let them dress however they wanted. He should be used to the sight of his shirtless brother, but why did he feel the need to avert his gaze now?
“Your nip-chest seems to be alright now.”
“Grandma treated me, she said it was just a bug bite,” Katsuki shrugged, “it’ll go down after a bath and some healing salve, but she told me not to touch it, said it’ll make it worse or something.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m glad, haha,” he really was, his utterly innocent twin didn’t look like he noticed his strange behavior, or inappropriate action earlier.
That evening, Katsuki kept complaining about how his nipple was so itchy earlier he wanted to rip out his whole chest and how he still had the urge to scratch it right now, while Tatsuki kept his silence, ashamed of meeting his twin’s eyes.
The rest of their summer vacation went without another incident, apart from Tatsuya’s gaze drifting toward his twin every time he wasn’t looking. He suddenly found himself obsessed over his boyish body the way he never did before.
It was only when their parents came to drive them home, when Katsuki’s form slumped over him in the backseat as he dozed off, and Tatsuya picked up his brother’s hand in his, squeezing gently, that he understood what this emotion was.
Tatsuya was in love with his own twin brother, and he hated himself as much as he found himself loving him.