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deep pools of water stare back at you when you blink open your bleary eyes. unlike yours, they do not blink.
"you’re beautiful," he says, and for a few moments you wonder if, perhaps, he has confused you for a mirror.
but he doesn’t take back his words, and he doesn’t move from where he’s hovering above you. his attention doesn’t waver, not for a second, too entrapped in watching you to think of anything else.
you realise with a start how badly this must look (and how weird this is—you were on a ship last time you were awake, and you are clearly not on a ship now) and push him off. he lands onto the sand next to you with an oof, and it immediately strikes you as odd because he should have landed further with the force you used.
it’s not until your eyes look at your legs that you realise a long and large scaly tail is wrapped around you… and connected to him. it doesn’t budge much, even when you push and pull at it.
when you turn back to him, he’s staring at you innocently. the tip of his tail flops up and down when he notices you’ve turned, in what you think is meant to be excitement.
you blink at him and he tilts his head slightly, before slowly reaching out and grabbing one of your hands into both of his webbed ones. he pulls it towards him just as slowly, holding it tenderly, then ducks his head towards it. your breath hitches when you see how sharp his teeth are.
but all he does is kiss the back of it, gently, dark eyes looking at you the entire time.
you blink again and he tilts his head. "no good? I thought human heroes were supposed to do that after saving someone."
hero…? "didn’t you kidnap me."
he doesn’t move for a few seconds, processing your words. his face falls a bit when he does. "no? you fell off the boat, and you were too far to bring back so I brought you to the nearest shore."
oh. okay.
he grins when he feels you relax and lay down, propping his head against his hands. his tail hasn’t stopped the wagging.
you take the opportunity to take a closer look at him, and you quickly find the deep eyes and sharp teeth are far from the only frightening things about him. most notably is a horn placed off to the left of his forehead, but it’s jagged and scarred—almost as if someone’s bitten part of it off. the thought makes you shudder.
but for all the scary things about him, there’s plenty that don’t seem so fearsome. his hair is auburn and fluffy, there’s a cute earring hanging off his left ear, and he’s covered in freckles.
"hey," his voice brings you out of your thoughts, a grin playing on his face. "I’ve heard humans keep sirens as pets."
he doesn’t add anything else after that, but from the way he says it, you think he’s asking if it’s true. "I’ve never heard of that… if it happens, it’s very rare, at least."
he hums but doesn’t reply otherwise, the gills on the sides of his neck glistening in the moonlight.
the two of you stay there in silence for a while, until your hand hesitantly reaches up to his head. he lowers it dutifully, then starts purring when you comb through it.
he watches curiously as you whip your head around when you hear some voices in the distance, not seeming too alarmed despite your panic.
"you need to go—who knows what they’ll do to you if they find you with me. and, um," your eyes avert. you’re vaguely aware of the way he tries to shimmy himself into your view. "thank you for saving me. take care, okay?"
he hums (you think? it might be a whine) but reluctantly untangles himself from you, slipping off into the ocean without saying anything.
the last look he sends you is one of foreboding promises.
─────────────
the next time you see him, it dawns on you that he’s covered head to… fin? in scars. most of them don’t look recent, but from the sheer amount of them it’s clear he gets into fights a lot.
he’s waiting around the same spot he dropped you off last time, looking bored and curious as he glances around him, the end of his tail flipping to and fro as if he’s swinging his legs. something about the sight makes your heart clench.
when he catches sight of you, he immediately perks up, sitting higher and pulling himself entirely out of the water to wave at you.
even with you standing, he easily reaches up to your hips. he doesn’t feel very big, though.
he eyes your legs curiously as you come closer, then reaches out and immediately wraps himself around one of them, ignoring your yelp in favour of rubbing his face against it.
"wh—" he starts purring against you and you cut yourself off. he looks content like that, and you don’t want to interrupt… as weird as the whole scene is.
after several minutes, though, you’re starting to lose feeling in your leg. pushing and pulling against his head doesn’t do much, so you resort to pulling on his hair as lightly as you can manage.
his head doesn’t move easily, though, but despite how much it should hurt he doesn’t seem bothered when he lifts his head to prop it up on your thigh. he grins at you, still gripping onto your leg.
you shoot him an exasperated look and he laughs, but finally lets go of your leg.
he watches you shake out your leg and sit down with a smile. he himself moves back to laying down on his stomach, propping his face up on his hands.
you frown. "doesn’t it hurt to be out of the water like that…?"
he doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, and you’re almost worried maybe you’re just making assumptions that hold no truth about sirens, before you see a noticeable shiver wrack through him.
his wide eyes turn into slits, his grin becoming smug and pleased. "not that much. are you worried about me?"
it’s your turn to blink. "um, should I not be?"
the two of you stare at each other for a bit, neither of you saying anything.
"um, not that I’m unhappy to spend time with you, or… I’m, ah, I’d like to apologise if I implied that."
you can’t tell if the sudden redness is from embarrassment on his part or a growing sunburn, but he seems pleased enough when his eyes soften a bit.
"my name is ajax."
the sudden introduction startles you, but you’re quick to return your own name.
you leave out any titles, or the fact that you’re second in line to the throne. you won’t be surprised if he figures it out eventually, especially after he saw your birthday celebration, but you’re liking being treated so normally so far.
the two of you stay there for another hour, making casual comments every so often but spending the majority of the time looking at the clouds passing by.
it—he—is like a breath of fresh, salty, watery air.
─────────────
a few weeks later, he shows up practically in your back garden instead of the usual spot by the beach.
he grins widely when you see him, waving at you and then ducking his head underwater before you can make a face. when you sneak away to talk to him, he pops the top of his head out. you think he says something, because you hear some gurgling and some air bubbles come up.
before you can question him, he’s heaving himself onto the pier and smiling brightly at you. "hi."
"hi," you say, and before you can say anything else he’s shoving something into your hands. when you realise what it is, you return your gaze to him. "a pearl?"
his face falls. "do you not like it? is it… not enough?"
"I like it," you say quickly, curling your fingers and brining your hand to your chest. "it’s just…"
"it’s not enough." the genuine disappointment seeping into his expression makes you wince.
"no, no, I do. it’s a gift from you, so of course it’s enough." you don’t miss the way he pipes up a bit, the way his eyes gleam when they find their way back to you. "it’s just…"
you tense your shoulders, turning your gaze away from him, as you try to come up with an explanation. you don’t know how to explain to him that all the pretty pearl does is remind you of how stuffy things are in the royal palace, of the many suitors lined up for you every day.
so you say nothing.
he curls up a bit again at that, but lets out a contemplative noise regardless. "no gems."
"um, sure. yeah." nodding along awkwardly, you turn to the sea and ignore the background hum of celebrations deeper into the palace.
the two of you sit in silence for a while, your clothes fluttering in the wind. it’s quiet, but it’s nice—the stars are out already, and the sight never fails to blow you away no matter how many times you see it.
when you turn to ajax to ask him if he has any favourite constellations or anything else to start up some sort of the conversation, he’s staring at you. it doesn’t take him long to grin and flop himself into your lap.
"I’m dry," he tells you in response to your splutters, face making its home into your tummy. vibrations rack against you when he starts rubbing his face against you.
his purring intensifies when you start running your hand through his hair, and his arms come to wrap around your waist soon after. you don’t mind too much, even if this much contact feels foreign to you.
sometimes ajax reminds you more of a clingy dog than your friend.
"you’re nice," he says after a few minutes of quiet. "and warm. and comfortable. I like you a lot."
"you are such a menace," you say, ruffling his hair. "but I like you too."
his arms squeeze around you, and for a second you feel a prick of fear.
it disappears as fast as it came when you notice the scars littered across his shoulders and back. he stills when you trace them, and if you’d payed close enough attention you’d have felt his breath hitch against you.
you don’t say anything, though, instead tracing old and new scarred skin.
"I’m strong," he speaks with his face squished into your stomach. "stronger than anyone else."
you blink. "okay?"
his arms tighten around you, almost defensively. pouting, he removes his head from your stomach and looks directly into your eyes. something about his expression feels painfully raw.
"what, you don’t believe me?"
"well…" you haven’t the faintest how strong he is, though from his grip you can say he’s likely stronger than you. "your question just came out of nowhere."
he hums, gently pressing his forehead against your tummy. the contact is much gentler than before.
it’s a few seconds before he speaks up again. "well, I am strong. strong enough to be your knight."
you try to contain your laugh and end up making a funny sound.
he sits up again at that, expression steely and focused. he’s never once hurt you, and you trust that he wouldn’t, but something about his eyes chills you to the bone.
his webbed hand reaches out, daintily taking one of your own, pressing a kiss to it, and then squeezing it against his chest. his eyes never break contact with yours, and you feel your breath hitch when you feel a heart beat under your touch.
"I’ll prove it," he says, his voice heavy and fervent. "I’ll prove I’m strong enough for you to entrust your safety to me… [name]. nobody will ever harm you as long as I’m by your side, I promise."
you jolt backwards the slightest bit. "ah, that’s—"
he stays quiet while you cut yourself off and take a breath to steady yourself, his expression just as eager as it is solemn and earnest. "why me? I mean, we’ve only known each other for a couple months, and—"
"does it matter?" he’s no longer beneath you, now staring at you eye to eye. "I haven’t felt so at home around someone in years. I’m happy around you. I want to cherish that feeling… and you."
you can’t help but feel something is missing from that explanation. something deeper, something murkier. you’re not sure if you want to know.
"can you… not do that as my friend?"
he blinks for the first time, tilting his head. "friends?"
embarrassment fills you. "are… are we not friends?"
"no, I mean…" his grip around your hand tightens. "I’ll be anything you want."
he’s quick to move your hands against the sides of his neck, where his gills are. gentle at first, then urging you to press as hard as you’d like. "anything."
oh.
at that moment, it dawns on you. this, the way he hasn’t been sitting at full length despite being taller than you lately, the asking to be your knight, the gifts… you aren’t friends, he’s trying to submit to you.
your heart skips a beat.
─────────────
when you make your way to your meeting spot with ajax a couple days later, you’re greeted with a whale.
ajax himself pops out quickly afterwards, a giddy smile breaking out on his face as his eyes land on you. he tosses an octopus next to the whale and hauls himself onto the sand, flopping down before you and propping his head under his hands.
there’s nothing but delight in his expression as he gazes up at you. "do you like it?"
your eyes flit from him to the whale. then to him. then to the whale again.
"do I… like the whale?" he nods fervently, still looking up at you expectantly. "um… more than that, are you okay?" upon closer inspection, both the whale and ajax seem a little banged up, though the whale is far worse off.
his expression morphs into one of confusion. "do you not like it?"
you’re starting to realise he takes any concern you have for or over him rather badly. or, rather, it seems like he can’t possibly comprehend you caring about him.
he peers curiously as you crouch down, blinking wearily when you cup his cheeks. he seems to realise your intent when you wet your thumb and wipe away some blood on his cheek gingerly.
"…I can take care of myself, you know?" despite what he says, he makes no motion to push your hands away. "it’s okay, I’m strong. I can take it."
"well, yes, but… just because you can doesn’t mean you should." maybe it’s just you, anthropomorphising and making assumptions to suit your presumptions, but his face seems incredibly weary.
he opens his mouth, then closes it. "I do like it when you fuss over me," he says, his hands coming up to cup yours. his eyes are averted, almost bashfully. "but I want to provide for you too. I want you to rely on me. I’m tough… so you shouldn’t worry about me."
"but I want to."
his eyes snap back to yours, an indescribable warmth swimming in them. he exhales heavily (you’re not sure why, given he has gills), then leans into your hand.
"okay," he says, his eyes closing and exhaling gently. "okay."
you’re both quiet for a few minutes, before opening his eyes again slowly. his lashes are long and pretty and you can’t help but stare.
"…is the whale too small? is that why you’re unhappy with it?"
you want to bang your head against something.
you don’t say anything, though, because he looks incredibly determined as he tells you he’ll get you a bigger one next time. the sparkle in his eyes as he recounts how he fought against it and won (easily, he adds—the blood on his face wasn’t his) is nothing short of mesmerising, and even if you wish he wouldn’t put himself in danger to try to impress you, you find yourself enjoying his enthusiasm.
you’ve never seen him more at ease, unbothered by the world around him, than when he talks about violence.
he pouts when he notices you’re not really listening anymore. "am I that boring?"
you lean forward, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "no, not at all. I really enjoy listening to you, please go on."
there’s a blissed out look on his face for the remainder of the day, his sharp teeth glinting in the fading light every time he grins at you.
"I’ll bring you another gift in a couple days," he says when he leaves, a promise as ominous as the sunset sea.
─────────────
the next gift is an even bigger whale. not just a little bigger, either—it’s practically double the size.
ajax himself is nowhere in sight this time, so you decide to take a closer look at the whale.
you think he tried to clean it because it’s missing the barnacles that would normally litter its skin. they seem to have been ripped off pretty violently, too, if the missing chunks of skin are any indication. the sight makes you wince.
not just one gift, you realise when you check the other side of the whale and you find a dead shark and seal. they look equally roughed up. you don’t doubt they can still be used for cooking, but it’s abundantly clear that these didn’t just wash up on shore. or, if they did, they’d been dead for a while.
with a splash, the top of a messy ginger head pops out of the water soon after, his jagged horn glistening in the misty morning weather. he lets out some garbled air bubbles in excitement before heaving himself up and dragging himself to shore, a fishing net half full of lobsters in tow.
you resist the urge to snort when he shakes himself dry like a dog would. he grins at you expectedly, seeming very proud of himself.
"ajax," you start in greeting, sending him a small, hesitant smile. he brightens immediately. "um, thank you for the… gifts."
his grin widens and the tip of his tail starts flopping up and down.
"next time," he starts, leaning on his fist, "I’ll get you a blue whale."
somewhere in the back of your mind, you remember your father mentioning that you’d be having an important banquet soon, and that he wished to serve a blue whale there.
as selfish as it might be, part of you doesn’t want to share ajax’s gifts.
so you shake your head. "what about spending some time together instead?"
he stares. then cocks his head. "you don’t like them?"
"no, I do!" you’re quick to clarify, waving your hands around. "it’s just…"
hesitantly, you reach out to him. he watches as you gingerly take one of his hands and intertwine your fingers to the best of your ability. even when you start speaking again, he keeps gazing at your hands intently. "I just enjoy spending time with you more. you don’t need to get me anything, really."
his voice feels unusually small when he responds. "…okay."
your other hand reaches out to ruffle his hair, this time with more confidence. he leans into your touch almost immediately.
the two of you stay quiet for the rest of the early morning, just enjoying each other’s presence with no need to say anything out loud. your hands stay intertwined the entire time.
eventually, you hear someone call out your name from the distance and move to get up before ajax is noticed.
before you fully untangle yourself from him, he quickly pulls himself up and presses a kiss to your cheek. "it’s a date," he says, eyes boring deeply into yours, and slinks off into the water before you can say anything in return.
─────────────
you don’t see ajax for another week and a half after that.
you don’t think much of it. sometimes he’d go missing for longer periods of time, especially when the two of you started being friends. though he’s been doing it less lately, you know he has a life of his own and that he can’t drop everything to visit you every day, no matter how much he might be your only real solace.
maybe it’s for the better, anyway.
you won’t always be around, and sirens live much longer than most humans. you’re aware of how your father has become more and more desperate to marry you off to some distant sovereign. he has yet to find the right person, but it’s only a matter of time before he does.
deep blue eyes greet you when you retreat to the back of the garden, though.
he stays seated on the pier as you approach, then gently reaches his hands out. when you place your hand in his curiously, he brings it to his cheek and leans into you, intertwining your hands and pressing yours against his cheek further.
"I got you a gift." it’s the first thing he says to you, almost as if it’s a greeting or a pledge.
he doesn’t say anything else, but he doesn’t need to. both of you know exactly what he means by that.
what you don’t understand is why he’s outright giving himself to you, now, out of nowhere.
it’s not until you feel his hand that you realise it’s missing the webbing, and his gills are gone, and he’s wearing clothes, and his tail has been replaced by legs.
your mouth opens and closes, unsure of what to say.
despite being seemingly human now, he stares at you as intensely as he did before. his horn is gone, and his ears and teeth are dull and human now, but there’s something about how he expresses that makes him feel supernatural and off.
it’s comforting, in a way. no matter what species he is, this is still the same ajax who’s been throwing dead animals at you in hopes of winning your affection.
of course, a more bloody offering isn’t too far behind him.
there’s a small boat behind him, one which you recognise as belonging to the fisherman who lives down the beach. some blood is splattered on the side of it, half washed off.
however neatly he tried to organise the meat (if the medium-sized fishing bag is any indication), the chunks are uneven and the attempt at cleaning is, well, just that. an attempt.
you’re not even sure what kind of meat that is, if you’re being honest.
it looks like some sort of mix between eel and salmon, but you honestly can’t tell. which is fine, you suppose, you don’t need to anyway. the royal chefs will figure it out some way or another.
"thank you for the meat," you start, deliberately, "but didn’t I tell you I don’t need any more presents?"
he doesn’t look disappointed this time. "you did. but I wanted to give you one last gift."
you sigh. "okay, alright." then you shoot him a small smile. "we can eat it together later, alright?"
for some reason, this makes him blink. then his eyes widen and his cheeks turn red, but he nods happily regardless. it’s an odd reaction, but you don’t comment on it.
almost bashfully, he removes your hand from his cheek and holds it between both of his. he still hasn’t stood up. "do you remember when I said I’m strong enough to be your knight?"
you nod hesitantly. unease begins to grow in your stomach.
the look in his eyes is as deep as it is fond. "I made a deal with the sea queen." he brings your hand to his lips and kisses the back of it, much like he did during your first meeting. "so I can truly be with you now."
"that’s… generous of her."
he stares nonchalantly, tilting his head in the same unsettling way he’s always done. "not many people have been down to the abyss, after all. I’m valuable merchandise."
you squint at him. "that brings up more questions than it answers."
he responds by bringing his balled-up hand to his chest. "I’m strong." he doesn’t sound or look any more fervent than he usually does, but you don’t miss the way his shoulders tense a bit in anticipation. "I’m all yours now, so make use of me."
your smile falls immediately. "you’re not my pos—"
"I am," he interrupts, now frowning himself. he looks frustrated, and you almost feel annoyed. "I’m yours."
he’s stand up quickly and nearly falls over on his unsteady feet, keeping his fist near his chest and leaning forward. he’s not quite as tall as you’d imagined he’d be. "I’ll prove it. make me your knight, I promise I’ll keep you safe."
even when he doesn’t tower over you, a small spark of fear shoots through you.
you avert your eyes.
"it’s okay," he says, voice sounding as chilling as it does profound. "I’ll take care of it for you."
your eyes shoot over to his. "take care of… what?"
"don’t worry," he says instead of explaining anything, reaching out to pull you towards him and envelop you in his arms. one hand reaches up to pat your head soothingly.
"if it’s for you, I’ll do anything."
the pit in your stomach grows.
you’re not sure if it’s your unease or because he’s talking like you’re the only person in the universe.
"…let’s go to my room."
you remove yourself from his arms quite easily. you’re certain it’s only because he let you.
he follows you obediently, looking as eager as a little puppy. the sight makes you want to laugh. even with him being a siren, he’s always reminded you more of a dog with how enthusiastic he is, especially for praise.
you don’t comment on the slight limp.
by the time you get to your room, you’re emotionally exhausted. ajax notices immediately, and is quick to usher you into bed. you don’t dwell on the fact that he should probably be more confused about human beds.
"I’ll watch over you and make sure nothing happens." he sends you a boyish grin, not seeming tired in the least.
you’re fairly certain he is going to quite literally watch you take a nap, but you’re too tired to care. you’re out like a light when he makes himself comfortable on the floor next to your bed and starts humming.
when you open your eyes next, ajax is nowhere to be seen.
under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t be too worried (he can definitely take care of himself, after all), but a quick glance outside tells you it’s dark and late, and you never discussed where he would sleep.
the hallways are poorly lit and vacant, something you might find eerie were you more awake.
you’re not really sure where you’re going, but your efforts are soon rewarded when you spot your overeager ajax leaving a room up ahead.
an overwhelming smell makes you scrunch up your nose, but you’re too sleepy to tell what it is.
as soon as he notices you, he tilts his head. "did I wake you up?"
your eyebrows furrow in confusion. "no? unless you left seconds before I woke up just now."
dark liquid starts to seep out from under the closed doors. the smell worsens, and you wake up fully very quickly when you realise that’s blood.
blood so excessive it’s made a pool and is expanding.
ajax, perceptive as ever, notices your wary step back.
"ahh, making a mess is no good, right?" you stare at him, eyes wide open. "if I bring you the heart or head, will that make up for it?"
his…? no, the way he’s wording it doesn’t sound like th— you glance at the door again. dread overtakes you when you realise that’s the throne room.
"wh—" you can’t bring yourself to finish.
ajax sounds too calm for the situation. "he made you unhappy, so I got rid of him."
he comes closer with a grin on his face. the moonlight coming in from the windows highlights his freckles and makes him look years younger.
"don’t worry," he says, taking your limp hand and nuzzling into it happily, "I took care of it. he’ll never bother you again."
the content sigh he lets out against your skin makes you shiver. "everything was all worth it. no matter what happened to me, no matter how much pain these human feet bring, if it’s for you… it was all worth it."
you’re scared to ask. about what was worth it, why you, why—
"don’t worry." half lidded and in the dark, his eyes look more dark navy than blue. "until you die and I’m dragged down to serve the sea queen… no matter how much I’m hurt, no matter how much pain I’m in, I won’t leave your side. I won’t ever let anyone hurt you. you’ll always be safe with me, I promise."
the same smile you would’ve called cute in any other context now makes you feel nothing but dread. "I love you…" his head dips to kiss the back of your hand. "[name]."
your throat goes dry.
"I would’ve been fine being your pet, too, but…" you feel sick. "as long as I’m yours, I don’t care what I am. your pet, your toy, your weapon… whether you show me off or keep me locked away for your eyes only, as long as I’m yours…"
he doesn’t bother hiding the bashful look as he averts his eyes and quirks a smile, still cradling your hand against his cheek. "ah, but I won’t lie. I would much prefer if you let me fight for you. whether for your honour or for your safety…"
the fond, lovesick smile he sends you says all it needs to.
he’s asking for your permission, but you are all too well aware this is far from the first time he’s killed for you.
"I’m your loyal weapon, now and forever."