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Touya was… unfairly pretty.
Not that he’d ever say that aloud. Especially for An to overhear, she’d never let him hear the end of it. Oh no, she’d called him a lovesick fool and teased him until Kohane finally got her to back off or he’s finally had enough and whacked her with the nearest object. He’s already been scolded by MEIKO for doing it. Once.
But who’s lovesick? Not him! He won’t even entertain the idea of having a crush on his gor— no, good looking ( that’s better) , best friend. There nothing distracting about him, no, not at all. Not his soft eyes, or that kind smile he seems to get when he watches the two girls having fun, or the way he sometimes looms over Akito even though he swears Touya is only a few inches taller. Or the way he’s stupidly endearing at times, always offering to buy Akito his favorite sweet after a hard day, or gifting him those stupid little trinkets he wins at the arcade.
Not even his split colored hair can distract him. Hair that is unbelievably soft, soft enough to where Akito idly thought how it would feel to run his hands through it or what type of shampoo he uses.
…What? If he has to sit at the end of Ena’s impromptu rants about hair products and what to and what not to use, he’s gonna end up thinking the same way at some point, unfortunately. (And besides, he really wants to know.)
He isn’t distracted by Touya and his good looks, he not.
Okay so maybe he is.
And that’s all that comes down to it, isn’t it? Touya’s presence, it certainly catches eyes. He’s effortlessly beautiful with his gentle presence that people just seemed to gravitate towards, well, until Akito scared them off. He knew his best friend was pretty, but they didn’t need to crowd him goddamnit! Back off!
And then there’s his voice, Touya has a devastatingly handsome voice that never fails to set Akito’s nerves on edge. And ever since he’s gotten over that whole issue with his dad and then belting out songs like there’s not tomorrow, Touya’s voice has hit new heights, reaching farther than ever. Far more than his own ever will.
Now don’t get him wrong, he’s proud of Touya, he’s proud of his group even if it he has to openly see An’s disgusting display of affection for Kohane, with Touya chuckling fondly at them. He just… can’t help but feel a bit inferior when he sees Touya improving so steadily, even the other too. It feels as if he’s being left behind.
And he knows they’ve talked about this, that they already have gone over how he was an important member of their group but he can’t help it. Can’t help but compare himself to his partner and feel like he’s lacking. He can’t sing as good as Touya, he cant even compare, he knows this. And he knows he that he shouldn’t, but every-time Touya silently asks him if he’s alright, he basks in it, the silent reassurance. He acts like he isn’t bothered at all, that’s he’s fine and he’s 100% okay, but that doesn’t stop him from selfishly seeking more whatever Touya gives him. It always the little things that get to him.
“I’m okay”, he says whenever Touya asks him, worry etched all over his face.
“I’m okay,” he says when Touya laces their hands together, allowing himself bask in the other’s presence.
“I’m okay,” he says again when Touya pulls him into a surprise hug, away from prying eyes which he’s grateful for.
“I’m not okay”, he admits quietly as he crumbles into Touya’s embrace after a particularly rough day, furiously fighting back tears after his thoughts gets too much.
Way to go Akito, not embarrassing at all.
“I love you,” Touya whispers softly, holding Akito close after his tears have all but dried up, and he feels his chest constrict with emotion. Akito pulls back to fix his gaze on the other man, slack-jawed. Akito flushes and he can feel his how badly his face is burning. How embarrassing! He knows he paints an un-pretty picture, red rimmed and puffy eyes, snot coming out from his nose which he furiously wipes away.
Touya said this before, Touya had told him this before, with the same adoration and move every time his whispers it out of nowhere. It always catches him off guard. It’s too much that Akito can’t handle it, he can’t reply, he wants to, oh how he wants to, but the words don’t come. Touya smiles at him softly and places a kiss on his forehead, “You don’t need to reply, I just wanted to tell you.”
“I love you too,” He wants to say, but the words stay lodged in his through, in his heart, under lock and key. He doesn’t deserve it, Touya’s heart, but he’s selfish, greedy for anything the other gives. He wants more but he doesn’t know how to ask.
He opens his mouth but Touya shushes him, pulling him into his embrace again and rubs Akito’s back soothingly until his thin face reached its limit and he pulls away, muttering about how Touya’s, “Too close.” Touya chuckles, helping him up, eyes softening when Akito croaked out an embarrassed, “Thank you.”
“Anything for you,” Touya had pledged then.
“I love you,” Akito whispers into Touya’s hair some time later, in the safety and comfort of his room. The two of them lied in his bed, hidden safely under the covers. He made sure to lock his door, he didn’t want Ena coming in and ruining this, ruining his confession he worked all night to gain courage for. Though the words came to him freely, poured out of him and he meant it. He truly did, he really, really loved this man. Touya knew it too, his hold tightening around his waist, pulling Akito closer. He pressed a chaste kiss to the other’s bare throat with a grin.
“I know,” Touya says a bit too giddy. “I know.”