Archive of Our Own

“Hey Jisung, I found your dorm!” Seungmin called from a little ways down the hall, gesturing to one of the uniform brown doors.

Jisung sighed in relief, “Thank god, I swear we’ve been looking for 3 hours at this point.” He read the sign on the door and sure enough, his name was listed on the bottom with another name, assumedly his roommate’s, right above his.

“We’ve been looking for like 5 minutes but ok. I’m going to go find my dorm now that I know you won't end up lost and stranded. I’ll text you the room number when I find it.” Seungmin said while digging for something in his bag, “Good luck with your roommate, I hope he’s not a dick!” He added with fake cheerfulness before starting off on his search, lugging his bags along with him.

Jisung scoffed at his friend's words before opening the door. His roommate wasn’t here yet if the completely empty dorm said anything. He dropped his things on the left half of the room before flopping onto the bed. Wow, uncomfortable, as expected.
After lying there for a couple minutes, the boy finally got up and began to unpack all his things. He didn’t bring a lot, just the basic necessities plus his laptop and lyric book, which were both basically necessities if you ask him.

-

The door to the dorm opened as Jisung was putting the last of his clothes away in a drawer. He turned to face a tall boy with black hair standing in the doorway, “Hi, I’m Hwang Hyunjin, I assume you’re my roommate?” The other boy smiled at him as he stepped into the room.

“Yeah, I’m Jisung, nice to meet you.” He smiled back. A mental pat on the back was deserved for not embarrassing himself with that introduction. This dude was hot, like damn where can he get some genes like that. His hair was so pretty too, it was almost long enough to be a mullet(not one of the ugly mullets, only select people could pull off a mullet and this guy was definitely one of them).

Hyunjin set down his bags on his bed as he continued to speak, “Nice to meet you too! I wonder if we have any classes in common, what’re your picks for non-core classes?”

“The only non-gen ed class I have this semester is a music production course since it’s what I plan on majoring in, what about you?”

His roommate hummed in acknowledgement, “English literature, definitely not as interesting as music production,” He laughed.

“I dunno, I think lit sounds pretty cool, I’m just not smart enough for those types of things.” Jisung chuckled sheepishly. So not only was this guy pretty, he was smart too. Of course Jisung thought he was pretty smart himself, but actually being interested in those types of subjects?? He’d much rather stick with his quick memorization then continue to forget everything right after a test, it’s never failed him.

Hyunjin grinned at him from where he’d taken a seat on his bed. “Thanks, I think that’s one of the nicest things someone’s ever said about it.”

Jisung snorted in response, “I’m happy to hold that record.”

“You should be, it’s a very big honor,” He joked. The boy then grabbed his phone out of his oversized hoodie’s pocket, “Wow, it’s already getting kind of late. I’m going to try and unpack quickly so sorry if it gets kind of noisy for a bit.”

Right then, Jisung’s phone sounded with a ding. He quickly pulled out his phone to see a text from Seungmin.

minnie: i’m in the building right across from you and the room is 92 on the second floor
minnie: come over when you can you can meet my roommate too

“It’s fine, I’m actually going to head over to my friends for a bit to look around his dorm and meet his roommate. Here, do you want to exchange numbers and you can just text me when you’re done?” Jisung asked as he typed out a message to his friend saying he’d be right there.

Hyunjin pulled out his phone, “That sounds good, here put yours in.”

-

A week had passed since move-in day which meant Jisung’s classes started today. In the past week he, Hyunjin, Seungmin, and his roommate Felix had formed a small friend group which Jisung is very excited about. He technically already had more than 2x more friends than he did throughout highschool- those friends being literally just Seungmin of course.

He was currently shoving supplies into a small backpack while Hyunjin watched him from his bed with an amused look. “You still have 40 minutes, there’s no need to rush.”

“I know but if I wait any longer then I’ll forget and then I’ll be rushing with like 30 seconds left before the class starts.” He zipped the backpack with a huff and proceeded to flop back onto his bed, “See, now I have at least 25 more minutes to sit and do nothing.”

“That’s fair. My last class today is around 5. Do you want me to order takeout for dinner and bring it back?”

“Oooh yes please, if you text me the place later I’ll give you my order.” Hyunjin hummed in response and continued to scroll through his phone.
Immediately after, Jisung felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Wow Hyunjin must’ve chosen fast. Opening his phone, he realized it wasn’t Hyunjin but actually Seungmin texting him,

minnie: you know what’s coming up sung
minnie: felix’s birthday is the day after too we could even just have a joint celebration

sung: you already know i don't want to

minnie: pleaseeee:((( it’s your soulmate birthday too ik you’re excited

sung: i am but i’d rather just write to my soulmate at my dorm in peace
sung: sorry but it still makes me feel like shit

minnie: it’s your bday i’m not going to pressure you into anything
minnie: just letting you know we’d all be happy to do something if you change your mind<3
minnie: have a good first day of class sung

sung: tysm you know i love you:c

minnie: i love you too i guess:| <3

He forgot it was coming up. Jisung was not a birthday person. Well he loved celebrating birthdays, as long as they weren’t his. Everytime his birthday comes around he really just feels empty, the day feels more like a burden than anything. Not to mention how his parents would jump at the chance to remind him how useless he is.
At least this year he turns 19 which means he gains the ability to write to his soulmate. He’ll finally be able to communicate and talk to the person who was supposedly meant for him.

“Jisung, you have 10 minutes before your class starts.” Hyunjin shook him out of his daydreaming, making him tense up with his words.

“Fuck.” Jisung lurched out of bed, him and his stupid daydreaming always getting him off track. “See you, bye!” He grabbed his bag and scrambled out of the dorm. He now has 9 minutes to locate his class which was half way across campus, what a lovely way to start off the semester.

-

“So Jisung, when’s your birthday? I know Seungmin mentioned you turn 19 this year but he didn’t say the day.” Hyunjin asked. They were currently sitting against the wall behind the younger's bed while watching a nature documentary on his laptop.

The birthday question twice in one day? He had to hold himself back from rolling his eyes at his own bad luck. “Oh it’s still coming up later this year, I’ll let you know.” Later this year my ass, it was in 5 days but he planned on avoiding the topic for as long as possible. He mentally thanked Seungmin for not telling Hyunjin.

“Ok, you better remember to tell me though,” Hyunjin had a small frown on his face. He felt bad lying to Hyunjin, he really did. It’d only been a week since they met but he felt like they just clicked immediately. But he really doesn’t feel like explaining why he doesn’t want to celebrate right now which means there’s no way he can tell him his birthday.

“All you need to know is that I’m not a senior citizen like you Mr. March 20th.” Jisung stuck out his tongue and felt a bit of the guilt swim away as Hyunjin’s frown disappeared, being replaced by a light laugh.

Hyunjin smacked the younger on the arm, “We were born in the same year, now pay attention to the birds.” He huffed and motioned towards the screen, where two colorful birds were dancing… or something, Jisung had missed the follow up to this part.

The two boys fell into casual conversation as the documentary came to an end, not feeling like going to sleep just yet, “So you’re here for music production right? Do you want to produce or both that and something else music related?” Hyunjin asked, the two boys were sprawled across Jisung’s bed, their legs overlapping.

“I like to write lyrics a lot, that’s how I got into music in the first place actually. I also sing and rap a bit as well as play the guitar, but I’m mostly going to focus on lyrical writing and producing while I’m here.” Jisung explained with a soft smile, he had basically lived and breathed music his whole life. It had been there for him through everything and remembering he was at college to continue doing what he loved most always made him proud

Hyunjin hummed in thought at his response, “That’s really cool, so you’re basically good at everything huh.”

Jisung snorts in response, ‘Fuck no, please don’t think of me as some perfect musician. I’m still working on all those skills. But what about you? no offense but you don’t seem like a literature guy.”

“I get that a lot, I’m sure it seems super boring to a lot of people but I don’t exactly have an exciting explanation either. I really just like history and reading. I’d like to get a job as a historical analyst involving old books and documents so yeah, I’m just a bookworm I guess.” Hyunjin cringed at himself before writhing into a kneeling position and peering down at Jisung.

“I think that it’s a great explanation as long as you enjoy it. It may not be a lot of people's things but I feel like most peoples “thing” aren’t most peoples “thing” if that makes any sense.” Jisung laughs as he looks up at Hyunjin who was now leaning over him.

Hyunjin flopped down on top of Jisung who let out an “oof” at the sudden weight. “I get what you’re saying, thank you.” He squeezed the younger into a hug before suddenly tensing, “Shit I should've asked- are you ok with this type of skinship?”

The sudden skinship definitely threw him off, especially since they’ve never even hugged before. But who was he to complain about free cuddles? “Don’t worry, skinship is my specialty,” He grins before wrapping his arms around Hyunjin, making the boy relax.

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” Hyunjin smiled, “But it’s getting late, I think it’s time for both of us to get to sleep.” Hyunjin untangled himself from Jisung’s arms and stretched.

Right on cue, Jisung yawned. “You’re right, good night Hyunjin.”

“Good night Jisung.” Hyunjin climbed off his bed just to return to his own, tucking himself under the covers. Jisung pulled his blankets over himself and sighed in content, his first day of classes were over and a success, and now he’s gotten even closer with Hyunjin. Who knows where he pulled these random social skills from but he’s basking in them.

-

minnie: happy [redacted] ily

sung: thanks i guessss:/

minnie: we’re meeting up for lunch i’ll see you at 1:30pm at Mazeo Cafe

sung: i don’t seem to have a choice so i’ll see you then ig:/

minnie: good.

“How was your first week of classes?” Seungmin and Jisung were sitting down at a small but cozy cafe a few blocks away from campus. Jisung had a piece of cheesecake and iced americano in front of him while the boy across from him had some weird green tea pastry thing and an iced americano as well.

“Ok I guess,” he sighed. “I just want to get my gen ed classes over with so I can actually focus on my major.”

“Mhm, right now it feels like we graduated highschool just to have half our classes be highschool part 2. But I know you’re doing some music related classes, how’re those?”

Jisung immediately lit up at the mention of his favorite subject. “It’s really good so far, next week we get to meet some upperclassmen that we’re going to team up with this semester. Tomorrow night I’m going to try and polish up some finished tracks to show them.”

Seungmin’s face turned into a look of realization, “Ohhh, y’know I think Felix’s brother is one of those upperclassmen, he’s supposed to be insanely talented from what Felix has told me. You should look out for him, I think his name is Chan.”

“That’d be cool, I’ll try and look out for him Monday.” Jisung shoved a forkful of cheesecake down his throat, he’d have to come back to this cafe more because holy shit was this cheesecake is good. “Speaking of Felix, how’s he doing? It seems like you guys are getting pretty close.”

“Good, as you already know Felix is an angel so I have zero complaints. He’s already met Minho and they get along great as well. he’s already developed a soft spot for him, fucking softie.” Seungmin smiled as he brought up his boyfriend. Seungmin and Minho had found each other during the summer even with Seungmin not being able to write back yet at that point. The two were honestly a terrifying pair but Jisung had never seen his best friend so happy with someone. All he really wants is to feel a connection like the one his best friend has with his partner, but all day there were thoughts at the back of his mind making him doubt himself.

“That’s good, I haven’t seen Minho in a while. Is he going to Felix’s party tomorrow?”

“Oh yeah he is, and so is Felix’s brother so you can actually introduce yourself then.”

Jisung nodded slowly, “Is your guys’ dorm going to be able to fit that many people?? So far it’s me, you, Felix of course, Hyunjin, Minho, and Felix’s brother. That’s a lot of people for a tiny dorm.”

“I guess, but it’s not so much of a party and more of getting takeout and eating it together??? I dunno, Felix is in charge, I’m going to let him do what he wants.” Seungmin shrugged.

Jisung puffed out a small laugh, “Your funeral then. And what about your birthday, are you doing anything?”

Seungmin’s face morphed into a look of concentration, “Hold on, I know I have something planned... Oh yeah, dinner with Minho and you’re sleeping over at my dorm.” He smiled innocently.

“What is with you and your nonconsensual hangouts,” Jisung grumbled, “I would’ve offered to hang out with you anyways there was no need to demand it.”

“I knew you’d say yes, that’s why I demanded it. There’s no need to ask if you already know the answer Jisungie.” Why is Jisung friends with one of the most passive aggressive people to ever live? A question that he asks himself everyday. “But anyways, we’ve been here for a while and I think the baristas are shooting us dirty looks.”

Jisung looked over to see that he was right and the baristas were, in fact, shooting them annoyed looks from over the counter, “Uh, yeah, I think it’d be a good idea to get out of here.” He stifled a laugh as they quickly got out of their seats.

“Ok Ji I’ll see you tomorrow. Text me if you need anything and good luck with writing!” Seungmin pulled him into a tight hug before briskly walking off to the library. Jisung breathed a sigh of happiness as he watched his friend walk away, he always knew just what he needed on his birthdays. And now it was time to go home and plan out what he was going to write to his soulmate… which is probably going to take a while.

-

And take a while it did, it was already 5 by the time he’d finally committed to just going with a “hi!”. So much overthinking for something so simple. Hyunjin was out with Felix for a bit and he wanted to get this done before he came back. Jisung took a deep breath and quickly scribbled out his message on the middle of his left palm. He immediately dropped the pen and fell backwards onto his bed, clasping his rapidly beating heart with his hand. He felt his heartbeat speed up, half because of excited anticipation and half because he was slightly terrified.

Right when he’d finally gotten his heart rate under control, Hyunjin returned, “You good Sung?” He looked a bit concerned as he walked into the room to see the younger curled up in a ball on top of his bed.

“Oh yeah, just great!” He quickly sat up, trying to give a convincing smile.

“Ok...let me know if you need anything.” Hyunjin set his things down at his desk before pulling out his phone to do who knows what.

Jisung quickly glanced at his hand, there was no response yet. He knew he at least had a soulmate, there’s been random accidental marks from pens and markers on his hands several times before, but there’s never been an actual message. Not like that was super uncommon, a lot of times older soulmates would realize they’re older from the lack of random or accidental marks on themselves and wait for the younger to become of age to write first. At least that’s what Jisung was hoping was the case. He sighed and went to roll over to face the wall, but before he could he heard a gasp along with the clattering of a phone hitting the ground.

“You ok Hyunjin?” Jisung quickly sat up alarmed, Hyunjin was sitting on his bed, looking at his hand with a look of terror on his face. “Hyunjin? What happened, are you ok?” He repeated after being met with silence.

Hyunjin visibly swallowed and slowly met Jisung’s eyes, “Oh yeah, sorry, something just shocked me but I’m ok now.” The older tried to smile but it just came painfully strained.

“You don’t look too good, is your hand ok?” Jisung frowned, he didn’t know what could’ve happened to make him look so uncomfortable and almost sad looking.

“Oh yeah it’s fine, see.” Hyunjin quickly waved his hand at Jisung, it was fast, but not fast enough for Jisung to miss the writing on there.

Shit. Oh shit. That was his writing. It’s Hyunjin. Hyunjin’s his soulmate. And he’s… upset about it? Jisung opened his mouth to say something but when he looked back up Hyunjin’s eyes were filled with tears. Oh. Jisung felt his heart drop to his stomach. What was he supposed to do? Should he tell him?

Hyunjin spoke up before Jisung even got the chance to think more about his options, “I’m sorry oh my god- if you don’t mind can I please have a hug?”

“Yeah of course,” Jisung choked out as he rigidly moved over to the other's bed. Hyunjin immediately wrapped his arms around him and began to cry into his shoulder. There were a billion thoughts flying through his head but at the very front was that Hyunjin didn’t want him. He didn’t want his soulmate and was now crying about it on his shoulder. He just made Hyunjin cry and he didn’t even know the one comforting him was the cause of his distress.

As the tears continued Jisung’s heart continued to break more and more, he was struggling to keep in tears of his own but he didn’t want to let them out in front of Hyunjin.

Eventually Hyunjin leaned back out of his grasp and wiped away the last of his tears. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cry that much.”

Jisung gave him a weak smile in return. How can he be a good friend and support him while knowing that he had just been denied by his soulmate at the same time. “Is there anything you need right now?” Was all he managed to come up with.

“I’ll be fine, I think I’m just going to sleep now if that’s ok.” Hyunjin stretched before falling back onto his bed. He looked exhausted. Thank god he didn’t want to talk about it, Jisung definitely wasn’t going to ask further.
Jisung really needed to leave, like right this second. “Yeah of course, um I promised Seungmin I’d drop off my present for Felix before tomorrow so I’m just going to swing by there, I’ll be back in a bit.” Jisung whipped his phone out of his pocket and frantically opened his messages as Hyunjin replied with a sleepy nod, thankfully too exhausted to pick up on his emotions.

sung: seung
sung: seung i’m coming over rn
sung: if you could get felix to go somewhere else for a while i’d really appreciate that too

Jisung took a sharp turn into the bathroom as he made his way to Seungmin’s dorm and stopped at the sink. He grabbed some soap and furiously scrubbed at the writing on his palm. He didn’t even realize he had started to cry until he looked back up.
He tried his best to wipe away the tears before continuing on his way to Seungmin’s, his palm now burning from the ferocity he scrubbed at it with.

minnie: felix just left to go to chan’s
minnie: the doors unlocked come right in

Some relief was felt reading that Felix wouldn’t have to sit in on his crying session. As soon as he reached the door he pushed it open and ran over to Seungmin, falling into his arms. “Whoa Sung, what’s going on.” The younger boy rubbed Jisung’s back as he immediately began to sob into Seungmin’s shirt.

“Seungmin, my soulmate doesn’t want me.” He managed to get out through the tears.

He felt Seungmin tense around him before relaxing again and reaching up to stroke the loose hair out of his face.. “What- how can you know that already, that doesn’t make sense?”

“It’s Hyunjin.” Jisung added through a sob.

“It’s Hyunjin? Did he tell you that directly?” Seungmin sounded confused but horrified at the same time as he rubbed Jisung’s back.

Jisung let out a stuttered breath, “He doesn’t know I’m his soulmate.”

Seungmin’s confusion only seemed to grow at that, “Ok Ji, just go ahead and cry it out. We can talk about this once you’ve calmed down.” His friend wrapped his arms more tightly around Jisung and pulled him close as the tears continued to pour out.

Jisung let out a stuttered sigh as he felt his tears finally begin to run out. He had no idea how to feel. Hyunjin didn’t reject him specifically, he had no idea it was him at all. But he was clearly unhappy with having a soulmate. He felt like he should be angry and mad at Hyunjin but he just felt bad. Bad for himself and Hyunjin both. They had known each other for like a month and he’d already been the cause of him crying. And at the same time he felt absolutely crushed that he basically didn’t have a soulmate now, Hyunjin didn’t want him there was no question there.
If only he’d really stuck with his no birthday celebration thing and not have tried that this wouldn’t have happened. He felt selfish and even more worthless than he usually did on this day of the year.

“Hey, I can tell you’re thinking and the thoughts are definitely not positive. If you feel ready please explain what exactly happened?” Seungmin softly flicked the top of his head, frowning at him.

“I wrote to my soulmate, Hyunjin came home, Hyunjin gasped and dropped his phone, I saw my handwriting on his palm, he started crying, and now I’m here.” He responded robotically. “I don’t even know how I feel about this, I just knew I couldn’t stay there while my roommate was recovering from the horror of having me as his soulmate.”

“I’m sorry Jisung, that really must’ve hurt.” Seungmin's frown deepened, “I’m sure Hyunjin would feel terrible if he knew it was you. Are you going to tell him?”

He furiously shook his head, “Absolutely not. We became so close in such a short amount of time, I don’t want to ruin that already.” He sniffed, “If he doesn't want a soulmate, he doesn’t have to have one. I’ll just pretend like tonight never happened.”

Seungmin sighed, his frown growing. “Listen, I really don’t think that’s the best choice to make but I’m not going to stop you or try to convince you, at least for tonight. Do you want to stay over tonight and talk about it more?”

Jisung shook his head and grabbed his phone to check the time, “I told Hyunjin I’d be back in a bit, I should probably go now.”

“Ok, make sure you take care of yourself, yeah?” Seungmin hugged him one last time before Jisung got up to make his leave. Jisung smiled sadly at him and gave a small nod before opening the door.

-

“Hey Jisung, can you pass me my phone?” Jisung nodded, grabbing the older’s phone off their coffee table and handing it to him.
The recipient checked the time before spinning around in his chair to face the other two in the room, “Ok, I think we’re done. We finished that like 10 times faster than I expected us to, you’re really good dude.” Chan turned to grin at him.
After the whole Hyunjin fiasco Jisung thought it’d be hard for him to spend time with the other, but he hadn’t even had to deal with that yet because of his production class. Felix had introduced him to his brother at his party and Jisung showed him some of his stuff. The two immediately got along and grouped up in class along with Chan’s friend Changbin. They had been cooped up in one of the school's recording studios during almost all of their free time, working on a project for that class. He’d been so focused on trying to learn from the upperclassmen and writing lyrics he had barely had the time to even talk to Hyunjin.

“Yeah I remember last year we were working up to the deadline to finish this but you’re talent cut our time almost in half.” Changbin high fived Jisung from where he was seated beside him. “We’re definitely getting an A on this.” He added with a grin, scruffing up Jisung’s hair.

“Hands off shortie,” Jisung swatted his hands away with a smile on his face. “I think it turned out great too, thank you both for agreeing to work with me.”

Chan shut his laptop and got up to stretch, “Of course! I’m glad my bro introduced us. Even if this project is done, us 3 should keep working together.” He started to pack up his supplies, all of them were exhausted and eager to get home at this point.

Jisung’s eyes widened at the offer, “Really? I’d love to if you’re actually interested.” He hopped from where he was sitting and grabbed his bag.

Changbin followed him and began to grab his own belongings as well. “Yeah for sure. Now that we’ve gotten that covered, can I pleaseeee leave some of our equipment in your dorm. It’s super fucking annoying having to lug it all the way here from my apartment.” He said with an innocent smile.

“You literally have a car, you're not lugging shit.” Jisung said completely deadpan.

The other pouted, “But it’s sooo heavy and I have to carry it all the way up and down the stairs. Pleaseeee.”

Jisung sighed and Changbin cheered, knowing he’d won. “You have to come back to my dorm with me to help find a spot for it and you have to come pick it up when you need it, I’m not carrying it around for you.”

“Of course, thank youuuu.” Changbin began to drag Jisung out of the studio. “Bye Chan, see you tomorrow,” He called over his shoulder.

“Bye Chan, thank you again!” Jisung barely got the chance to make out before the door closed behind him. “There’s no need to rush,” He grumbled under his breath as Changbin continued to drag him along.

“Hyunjin! I’m back!” Jisung called as he opened the door, Changbin trailing along behind him.

His roommate was sitting on his bed, scrolling through his phone. “Oh hi! You brought someone?” He tilted his head in question as the pair walked into the room.

“Yup, Hyunjin this is my producing friend Changbin, Changbin this is my roommate Hyunjin. He’s going to drop off some supplies here if that’s ok with you. I promise I’ll keep it in my area of the dorm.” The two waved at each other and Hyunjin immediately nodded.

“Go ahead, I don’t mind.” He smiled. Changbin nodded in thanks and set down the bag under Jisung’s desk and off to the side.

“You can move it somewhere else if you’d like but I should really get going, it’s getting late and I’m fucking exhausted.” Changbin gave Jisung a quick hug and waved to Hyunjin before heading back to his own apartment.

Jisung waved as the older left, a wide smile leftover from the excitement of working with his two new friends on his face. “He seems nice,” Hyunjin commented.

His roommate shut off his phone as Jisung turned towards him, “Yeah, I mean he’s pretty lame, but music wise yeah I guess he’s ok.” He joked. Changbin was one of those people that were just so easy to get along with, their humor clicked perfectly and Jisung hadn’t felt so understood by someone in a while.

Hyunjin laughed, “Hey we haven’t gotten to do anything together since you started on that project, do you want to watch something? I feel like the longest interaction we’ve had in a while is me breaking into tears in front of you and I’d kinda like to move past that.”

The idea sounded very appealing to Jisung, he hadn’t had a good, relaxing evening since he started working with his older classmates. “Yeah that’d be fun, you’re right I feel like we haven’t even talked in a while.” He said like he hadn’t been working so hard partly out of avoidance. He thinks he’s ready to pretend like nothing happened, he just has one rule for himself and it was simple enough. He, at all costs, can not catch feelings for Hyunjin.

Hyunjin tilted his head and smiled, “I was thinking… true crime. No offense but we’ve watched like 20 nature documentaries since we met and it’s been like a month.”

“Listen Hyunjin, we’re living on this earth and it’s our job to take care of it. I’m just trying to do my part by educating myself and others on how it works. I really think you should be more thankful.” He over exaggeratedly rolled his eyes, “But I guess we can watch what you want if you really insist.”

“So Changbin’s a sophomore right?” The credits were slowly rolling down the screen, their documentary of the night having just ended.

Jisung squirmed in Hyunjin’s grasp to look at him, “Yeah, I thought when the teacher said we’d be working with upperclassmen he meant seniors but I guess he just meant literally everyone in courses above us.” He explained. Changbin and Chan being at the level they are while only being a sophomore and junior had initially shocked Jisung, he could only dream of having that much talent so early into the program, Changbin hadn’t even declared his major yet for fucks sake.

Letting go of Jisung’s waist, Hyunjin fully sat up from where he was slumped against the wall, “Hmm that’s cool. Can I hear what you guys made?”

That got Jisung’s heart drumming, sharing his music was something that always terrified him. The fear that it wasn’t good enough was constantly chasing him and he didn’t want to embarrass himself. But this was a song he made with his team, it wasn’t made using his shitty laptop program. He got to use an actual studio. “Uh...yeah, let me get my phone.”
If he didn’t have enough confidence in this song to show his roommate it would be an insult to Chan and Changbin. Jisung dug through the blankets to dig up his buried phone. “Ah, here it is.”

He also grabbed his airpods out of his pocket and handed them to the older. “Here put these in, I’ll put on the song.”

Hyunjin eagerly grabbed them, nodding. “I’m sure it’s going to be great, there’s no need to be nervous Jisung.” The nervous boy in question nodded and smiled timidly. He took a deep breath, he needed to get used to this if he wanted to do this as a job, he can do this. Jisung tapped the play button and his eyes immediately flitted up to watch Hyunjin’s reaction.
He didn’t know if it was better or worse that he can’t hear the part he’s listening to.

As the song came to the end, Hyunjin took out the earbuds. He had his eyes closed the whole time, making it basically impossible to tell what he was thinking. Hyunjin looked at him dead in the eyes with no expression for what felt like ages before he broke out into a grin, lunging forward to squeeze Jisung into a hug. “That was absolutely incredible, I have no idea what you were afraid of, god Jisung you’re already a genius just as a first year.”

“I can’t breathh-” Jisung choked out.

Hyunjin’s grip immediately loosened a bit, a giggle bubbling out of his mouth right next to Jisung’s ear. He felt butterflies as the one still gripping him gave a small “sorry”

“Thank you, but you didn't have to look at me like I killed your dog right after the song ended, it scared the shit out of me.” Jisung gave Hyunjin a quick hug back before letting him roll off to the side.

“Sorry, you just looked so scared watching me, I couldn’t help it.” He grinned.

Jisung scoffed, softly punching his shoulder. “That’s the last time I ever let you listen to my music.” He grumbles, beginning to clamber back to his own bed.

“Noooooo, I said I was sorry.” Hyunjin continued to cackle as the younger skulked back to his bed.

Jisung faceplants into his pillow,“Good night asshole.” pointedly ignoring the cackles still coming from Hyunjin.

Finally, the laughs started to die down. “G-goodnight Jisung.” Hyunjin audibly sucked in a couple breaths before the room quieted.

That night, Jisung fell asleep with a smile on his face from his roommate’s compliments.

-

“If you don’t give back my fucking pen right this moment I will chomp on your balls.” Felix said completely seriously, giving Jisung a death stare. The two pairs of roommates had gathered in the younger ones’ room to study for finals. Jisung was a tad bit bored to say the least, he already felt pretty good about most of his classes, now he only really had to finish the song he was working on for his production class.

They had all been focused on their work up until about 5 minutes ago when Jisung thought it would be fun to mess with Felix a bit, “Bring it on, blondie.” Jisung cackled in reply.

Seungmin groaned from where he was next to Jisung, the boy had also finished up doing the review he thought he needed today and was now scrolling on his phone, “Can you two please not destroy the dorm or neither of you will even have balls to be chomped on.”

A gasp came from the freckled boy that was now poised in a cat-like crouch on his own bed, “Seungmin how could you? He stole my pen. How can I not retaliate?”

“Felix I swear if you don’t sit back down- just steal one of Hyunjin’s pens he’s right next to you.” Seungmin gestured at the oldest who looked up with alarm,
“Hey don’t drag me into this, I only have one pen left that actually works.”

Jisung stuck out his tongue at Felix before casually wrapping his arms around Seungmin, “Thank you Seung I knew you would protect me.”

Pointedly ignoring him, Seungmin began tapping away on his phone. Jisung took this as a chance to quickly slip Felix’s pen into the pocket of the other's hoodie. He then unwrapped his arms from him and went to face Felix who was still glaring at him. “Give me the pen or we’re taking this outside.” He whispers somehow aggressively.

Putting his hands up, Jisung shrugged, “What pen, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Felix narrowed his eyes and finally got up off his spot on the bed. “I know you have it Jisung, I know your weakness. You don’t want to do this.”

Another sigh escaped Seungmin as he realized there was no containing what this was about to erupt into. Hyunjin looked up from his notes with a smile, finally giving into the distraction.

As Felix creeped closer, Seungmin abruptly got off the bed, “I’ll be back in ten I’m going to drop off coffee for Minho and his brother.”
Jisung flashed a glare in his direction as he left, “You’re really abandoning me now? You suck. And Felix you’re like 2 feet tall what’re you going to do huh?”

“I’M LITERALLY TALLER THAN YOU!” Felix hollered as he leapt onto Jisung, he tried to protest but before he could, Felix lifted up his shirt and began to tickle him. Laughs exploded out of Jisung even as he tried to hold it in. “Now tell me where you hid my pen or I won’t stop.” He demanded.

“I-I don’t have it.” Jisung wheezed out between laughs.

This response obviously did not satisfy Felix as the tickling only intensified. Tears began to well up in his eyes as Jisung continued to laugh intensely. “That’s not the answer I’m looking for Sungie.” He said with an evil grin.

Sucking in a deep breath, Jisung tried again, “No really I actually don’t have it I promise.” He really wasn’t lying, the pen was now on its way to the coffee shop with Seungmin.
There was a pause in the onslaught of tickles and Jisung thought it was finally over, he began to catch his breath as he lay back with his eyes closed. But after about 10 seconds, they started up again. A gasp morphed into a laugh as Jisung opened his eyes. Oh no they switched, Hyunjin was now the one tickling him while Felix stood next to him with a smirk. “It’s 2 to 1, now tell me where it is, just because you don’t have it doesn’t mean you don’t know.”

“No please stop- it’s not in the dorm. Seungmin-he has it with him now, get off.” He wheezed, making a sorry attempt to swat Hyunjins hands away.

Hyunjin looked over at Felix who just sighed, “Fine, you have permission to let him go.” Jisung immediately curled into himself the second he felt the tickling stop. “You guys are so mean.” He grumbled to himself, putting his hands up to his cheeks, he realized how red he must be.

Felix just laughed,”If Seungmin doesn’t have the pen with him when he gets back you’re done for.”
Curling into himself even more, Jisung stuffed his face into his hoodie, hiding his pout. “You’re both mean. I will never recover from this, this is why Seungmin is my favorite. He would never do this to me.”

A hand settled softly on the top of Jisungs head, “Come on Jisung, your actions have consequences you know,“ Hyunjin’s words were followed by a snort. Jisung quickly kicked out his leg and heard a squawk of pain that signified he’d hit his target, he smiled in satisfaction and rolled next to the wall, facing it so he couldn’t receive any more attacks.
-

When Seungmin finally reentered, Jisung was still curled up while Felix and Hyunjin had gone back to peacefully studying, Felix having dug through Seungmin’s supplies to temporarily borrow a pen.
The second the curled up boy heard the door he popped up from the bed, turning to see not only Seungmin but Minho and Changbin as well. “Why are you all here?” He mused, curious but happy to see the two older students

“I ended up meeting Minho at the coffee shop, his brother had to go to some club event at the last minute and we just coincidentally saw Changbin getting something to drink too. I told Changbin I was with you and he asked if he could come back with me, and Minho decided to come along as well.” Seungmin explained with a brisk tone, hand clasping Minho’s.

The older pair nodded in agreement, “Ok um, I’ve met Jisung, met Felix, I dunno who the lanky dude is.” Minho squinted in Hyunjin’s direction. Jisung laughed at Minho’s lack of greeting. He got along quite well with his best friend’s boyfriend, he was one of the weirdest fucking people Jisung had met in his life, but still cool.

“Minho, that’s Hyunjin, my roommate. Oh and Changbin the guy with the mullet is Felix and Felix that’s Changbin my producing friend- oh and Chan’s friend too.” Jisung clapped his hands as everyone greeted each other.

Changbin took a seat on Seungmin’s bed next to Jisung’s unkempt and untouched pile of school supplies. “I see you’ve been doing some serious studying huh Sungie,” Changbin quirked an eyebrow at him, a playful smirk on his face.

“No we’re not doing this, Felix and Hyunjin have already decided to be mean to me today you have to be nice to even it out.” Jisung frowned, taking his seat back besides Changbin.

Following Jisung, Minho and Seungmin sat down beside him as well. The four of them fully took up the bed while Felix and Hyunjin had the bed opposite them to themselves. “Why don’t you two take a break for a bit and we can have a fun lil chat,” Minho gave a cat-like grin.

“I don’t know, I still want to go over a couple chapters before I go back to my dorm,” Hyunjin flipped through his notebook, highlighter brightening the pages.

“Seungmin and I are going to grab dinner together later and I’m sure Changbin would be happy to whisk Jisung away. I bet they were already planning on going to the studio or some shit anyways. You’ll have plenty of peace and quiet then.” Minho waved away Hyunjin’s words.

With a sigh, Hyunjin shut his notebook, “I’ll take a short break, but I want to go get something to drink. Does anyone wanna come with?”

Jisung quickly volunteered, Felix still had his head in his notes while everyone else in the room had just gone. “I’ll come,” He hopped to his feet, grabbing his wallet out of his bag.

Surprisingly, Changbin followed his movement, “I’ll come too, these two were too distracted being in love to notice the fact that I never got to order my drink.” He playfully glared at the couple but the only response was a smug grin from the older of the pair. Changbin sighed and followed the other two who were already heading out the door.

Once at the cafe, Changbin pulled him to the side once they’d finished ordering, only Hyunjin being left at the counter. “I just really quickly wanted to ask if you’d be free sometime before finals. I’m trying to put together a Christmas gift for Chan and would love your help.”

Curious, Jisung tilted his head, “What do you need help with? I’m kind of a shitty gift giver so I don’t know if I can be of much use.” How big was the present that Changbin needed his help?

Pulling out his phone, Changbin explained, “It’s a song, like a little message to Chan. I know you guys haven’t known each other for long but it doesn’t need to be long. Just something sweet and short for him, it could be one sentence and he’d still cry over it.” He pulled up a note on his phone with some lyrics and handed it over to Jisung, leaning over his shoulder to read along with him.

All the lyrics were obviously very genuine and thought out. This was such a thoughtful present, Jisung thought he might even tear up just reading these. “Of course. Y’know I think I could get Felix in on this too. I don’t know if he’s ever written lyrics before but I could help him out and Chan would probably love it.” He handed back the phone to Changbin, “And I’m going to want to think about these lyrics a lot more. We can go back to the studio right after this if you’d like. We should probably just walk Hyunjin back first but then I don’t have anything better to do.” Changbin was right when saying that Jisung hadn’t known Chan very long, but the older had already helped him with so much already. It wouldn’t be too hard putting his appreciation into lyrics.

“Your drinks have been ready for like, half of the conversation you two have been having.” Hyunjin walks up to them, struggling to hold all three drinks in his grasp.

Hurriedly grabbing two of the drinks, Jisung laughs sheepishly. “Sorry about that, didn’t notice.” He scans the label for their names and hands Changbin his drink. “Oh, me and Changbin are about to head over to the studio to work on some stuff. We’ll walk you back and I’ll just grab my things before we go.”

After taking a long sip, Hyunjin finally responds, “Ok…I was wondering if you wanted to go get dinner after I finished my review, and the offer still stands. But don’t let me rush you guys or anything.” There’s a twinge of something unrecognizable in Hyunjin’s eyes, but Jisung decides to just brush it off.

“For sure, text me when you’re done and I'll try and finish up quickly.” He shoots Hyunjin a grin which removes whatever negative emotion was behind his friends eyes. This shouldn’t take that long. He didn’t plan on finishing everything anyways. As long as he got to listen to the track and got a few ideas down he could finish the rest later on.

Grabbing his wrist, Hyunjin begins to drag him away, “Great, let’s get a move on then.” He says cheerfully. Jisung lets out a surprised laugh and looks behind him to make sure Changbin was coming. The older had a small smile on his face as he looked at the pair and Jisung grinned at him before tripping over his own feet. “Be careful please, die after we eat dinner.”

“Rude, I wouldn’t have fallen if you weren’t dragging me.” Jisung scoffed but continued to let himself be pulled along behind his friend.

-

Winter break. Jisung had no plans on going home, or really anywhere if he could help it. He planned on doing two things, curling up in bed and watching anime, and working on some songs. Hyunjin was leaving in a couple days and Seungmin and Minho were going to Minho’s house tomorrow.
But Felix, Chan, and Changbin were staying around campus. Well Changbin wasn’t exactly staying on campus since he has his own apartment but it was right next to the campus and he wasn’t going to see his parents. Felix told him that he and Chan didn’t go home for breaks besides summer since they live overseas and it was expensive. So he wouldn’t exactly be alone for Christmas, the four of them would have their own little celebration and all that.

Currently, Jisung was already indulging in the first thing on his list of things to do, curled up in bed watching anime. “Hey Jisung, do you want your Christmas gift right now or after I get back from my parent’s house?” Jisung rolled over to face Hyunjin, who was sitting at his desk.

“Uh, now? I can save it and open it on Christmas if ya want.” He pushed himself up into a sitting position with a groan, pulling his airpods out of his ears.

Hyunjin took a seat next to him, a large gift bag in his arms. “Nope, I want to see you open it. Can’t have you lying to me and saying you like it when you actually don’t, so I need to see the full and genuine reaction.” He smiled and shoved the bag into his arms.

“Ok, then you have to open yours after.” Jisung crumpled up the red tissue paper covering the top of the bag and placed it off to the side. Inside the bag was some sort of an article of clothing. He carefully lifted it out, letting it unfold and holding it in front of him. “No way- how did you know I wanted this?” In his hands he held a blue hoodie with a design of a black rose on the back. He’d been wanting this forever, but it was more on the expensive side and didn’t have the funds to buy it in his current state of broke college student.

Grabbing the bag back from Jisung, Hyunjin laughed, “You have it bookmarked on your laptop and I decided to check it one time while I was choosing a movie. I’m glad you like it but there’s one other thing in here too.” He handed Jisung a small bundle of tissue paper that was hidden at the bottom of the bag. Jisung carefully unwrapped it to see a silver bracelet and a small bag. The bracelet had 3 little charms on it, spelling out ‘H A N’, “It’s a charm bracelet. You can add more onto it and I thought it fit the vibes of your style.” Hyunjin opened the bag that was in his other hand, “These are some other charms, I tried to pick ones I thought you’d like but I wanted you to have the choice to put them on.”

Looking through the small pile of charms he had poured into his palm, Jisung saw a guitar, a raindrop, a cat paw, and some other more basic shapes like a star and heart. “This is so cool what the fuck. Thank you so much, these are both so sweet.” He quickly clasped the bracelet on before diving towards his roommate for a hug. Hyunjin had really thought about these, they weren’t things he had even hinted at wanting or talked about, but Hyunjin managed to get him two gifts he absolutely loved.

It was when he leaned back from the hug to gaze at the bright smile still on Hyunjin’s face with such burning adoration he realized. He’d done the one thing he promised himself not to do to his soulmate. Somewhere along the way Jisung had caught feelings for Hyunjin.

It felt as if a bucket of cold water had been poured over him, what was he supposed to do now? “You good there Sung? I want my present now if you’re done staring.” Hyunjin made grabby hands in his direction, jolting Jisung out of his thoughts.

“Oh yeah, let me grab it.” He took a deep breath as he reached his desk, facing away from the boy sitting on his bed. Right now he needed to pretend he was fine, later he could figure his stupid emotions out.

Handing Hyunjin the bag he’d messily put his present in, he sat back down next to him. All of a sudden he felt a bit embarrassed, “It’s not nearly as good as yours, so don’t place your expectations too high.” He smiled nervously as Hyunjin began to lift the present out of the bag.

A smile grew on Hyunjin’s features, “Whoa, is this a sketchpad? And a drawing supplies kit, Jisung, this is amazing. I have no idea what you were talking about.” Jisung had noticed the way the back half of Hyunjin’s notebooks contained drawings, they were always so good and he thought they should have a proper place to be put and proper materials to be drawn with. “I love drawing but I never had such nice materials for it, oh my god.” The older was now going through the small box of supplies, reading the names of each tool.

“Ah, I’ll look forward to seeing your drawings then, you definitely have to show me.” He says with a slight blush, thank god he actually liked the gift. Jisung might’ve just had to simply move out if he showed any sign of dislike.

Hyunjin carefully closed the case and placed it and the sketchbook back into the bag. “I promise to come back after Christmas with some top notch drawings.” He then promptly leaps onto Jisung, making him fall backwards. “Now I need my last dose of Jisung cuddles before I leave.”

As much as Jisung loved cuddles, the middle of his emotional realization wasn’t the best time, “You’re going to be here for like, three more days we have plenty of time to cuddle.” He writhed around, trying to free himself from his roommate's embrace.

A pout appeared on the boy clinging on to him’s face, “Do you have something better to be doing?” He asked, not releasing his grasp.

Thinking fast, Jisung quickly comes up with an excuse, “Uh…Changbin. Yeah I have this…thing to work on with Changbin. In the studio. To record. Haha…” Yes. Changbin was just distant enough from Hyunjin that he wouldn’t be able to figure out that Jisung is just going to go to the studio by himself to do his favorite thing, stress mixing.

Reluctantly, Hyunjin lets go with a frown. “Oh. You guys can’t work on it after I leave? I want to spend time with you and do something Christmassy before I go, he’ll have you for a good two weeks before I come back.”

Guilt twists Jisung’s stomach. He hated lying about something like this, but he had some self contemplation to do and said contemplation would be hard to do with the subject of his thinking wrapped around him. “Yeah we should really finish this project up, I promise we can cuddle a ton tonight when I get back, okay?” Would he have the emotional strength for ‘a ton of cuddling’? Who knows. But it eased the frown off his soulmate's face so it was worth it.

“Ok…don’t come back late though.” Hyunjin huffs lightheartedly as Jisung crawls out of his bed.

He slung his backpack which had already been minimized to just his laptop and lyric book before waving goodbye, “I won’t, don’t worry,”

-

Jisung leaned back in the office chair he had seated himself in at one of the school’s studios and squeezed his eyes shut. He’d just recorded the vocal part for a track he was working on and was now listening to it back. Once he felt calm enough to think about the Hyunjin problem then he’d deal with that. Right now he wanted to stress produce so that’s what he was going to do.

Just as the track was closing up, he heard a knock at the door. Swiveling the chair around, he sees a familiar face in the small window by the door. Waving, Jisung beckoned his visitor inside. Not bothering with a greeting, Changbin immediately began to question Jisung with a partly concerned, partly confused tone, “What’re you doing here? I came by your dorm to see if you wanted to grab dinner with Chan and I but Hyunjin said you came here to work on something with me?”

Oh no, that was the only thing that could’ve happened to ruin Jisung’s plan for solitude and peace. “What’d he say when you told him you didn’t have plans with me?” Anxiety rose within Jisung, this is why we don’t lie.

Changbin’s tone grew more concerned as he sensed the worry in Jisung’s voice, “I assumed you told him that for a reason and said I completely forgot about it, he still thinks you were supposed to meet up with me, calm down now and tell me what’s going on with you.” The older boy took a seat on the small couch and patted the spot right next to him.

Trudging over to the couch, Jisung collapsed into Changbin’s side. Perhaps it’d be nice to get Changbin’s input, he always knew what to do.

“Wow Sungie, that’s…a lot. First of all I’m sorry, that’s hard. And it’s probably terrifying to be feeling what you’re feeling right now,” Jisung had just spilled everything to Changbin. He retold the very start with Hyunjin’s breakdown on his birthday to what had happened earlier today. “But secondly, It’s weird- I swear I thought Hyunjin was your boyfriend when I first met him. The guy absolutely adores you dude. When I was about to leave your dorm to come here earlier, Hyunjin stopped me and told me to make sure you didn’t come back too late and that you ate something.” He explained, looking genuinely confused, “He looks at you like you created life, Sung, I really can’t believe he’d be mortified to find that you’re his soulmate.”

Jisung tucked his knees under his chin, “I really just don’t think that’s true. I love Hyunjin to death and I definitely feel that reciprocated, but only platonically. I’d much rather lose a romantic partner than Hyunjin entirely.” Right now he didn’t really want to hear about his chances with Hyunjin, he just wanted to know what to do. “What should I do Changbin? I’m worried I’ll get overwhelmed around him and freak out. I don’t want to hurt him more than I already have.”

“What I think you really need to do right now is think about what will help you, not Hyunjin. This is obviously really stressing you out and in the end it’s not your responsibility to go around pretending just so he doesn’t have to deal with it.” Changbin rubbed his arm comfortingly, “What do you want to do to make yourself feel better about this situation?”

Taking his head out of his arms, Jisung’s dragged his hands down his face, “I guess you’re right. But what I really want right now is just some quiet. It’s so tiring sometimes Changbin- it’s so hard to pretend like being around him doesn’t hurt when it does. It hurt before I realized how I feel and it’s just going to get worse now that I’m aware of my feelings.” He babbled, tears beginning to pour out of his eyes.

Changbin gently tugged him into his arms, rubbing a hand against his back as hugged him. “I know Sungie, I know. But you’re going to get through this and you’ll come out of it completely fine, I promise.”

Letting out a choked sob, Jisung gave a small nod, huddled into Changbin’s chest. “Sorry, I didn’t expect to start crying.” It honestly felt kind of nice, crying is just the only thing he can do to fully release all the anxiety he’s feeling sometimes.
Sitting up, Jisung wiped away as much of his tears as possible, “I should save my project, I never got the chance to before you came in.” He began to get up but an arm blocked his way.

“I got it, just take a minute to calm down.” Changbin quickly went over to Jisung’s laptop while Jisung remained on the couch, blinking slowly. After shutting his laptop, Changbin grabbed it along with his lyric book and slipped them into his bag. “Ok, you’re obviously not working anymore today, do you want to sleep over at mine?” He shoulders on Jisung’s bag, nudging the other with his knee.

Jisung really shouldn’t ditch Hyunjin, he said he would be back not too late tonight and he had already passed that mark. If he was lucky Hyunjin would’ve already turned off the lights and he wouldn’t be able to see the tears falling down his face. And if he wasn’t lucky, well he could just say he was stressed out or something…Hyunjin wouldn’t pry. “I promised Hyunjin I’d be back early tonight which I already broke, so I should probably go back to my dorm.”

At this Changbin sighed, reaching out a hand to help Jisung up. “If that’s what you want to do. I’ll walk you.” As Jisung got on his feet he almost immediately stumbled, almost banging his forehead against Changbin’s.

Changbin’s face then lit up with an idea, “Y’know what I think would cheer you up? A piggy back ride.” He grinned at the younger boy who let out a surprised laugh.

“Yeah, why not.” Jisung carefully clambered onto Changbin’s back and they were off.

Hushed voices roused Jisung’s rest. He found that he had fallen asleep during his ride on Changbin’s back to his dorm. Currently he was still propped on his friends back while he discussed something with his roommate, “What happened? Is he okay? Why are his eyes so blotchy?” Even half asleep, Jisung could hear the panic in Hyunjin’s voice. He opened one eye halfway and saw that Changbin was standing in front of his bed while Hyunjin was flitting around him, doing who knows what.

“Listen dude, I get and appreciate the concern- and he’s not injured so you can stop trying to scan him for injuries- but this is something that Jisung gets to decide who’s going to know, not me.” Changbin slowly sat down on his bed, lifting Jisung’s legs to make sure he wasn’t sitting on them. He then gently tugged Jisung’s hands apart, letting him fall back onto his bed.

This seemed like a good time to ‘wake up’. He slowly sat up, pretending to rub the sleep out of his eyes. “Oh, I’m back.” Smooth.

“You’re awake? I’m going to get going then. Goodnight Sung. If you need anything don’t hesitate to call me.” Changbin reached down to give him one last squeeze before making his way out the door with a sleepy wave from Jisung.

Jisung flopped back down, curling up into a ball, “Jisung, are you okay? I was so worried about you, you know. You didn’t come back when you said you would and then when you did you were in tears.” Hyunjin still sounded stressed as he sat down next to his curled up figure.

All Jisung wanted to do right now was sleep. Not think, not explain, just sleep. “It wasn’t for anything important. I’m just really tired.” He reluctantly uncurled himself so he could crawl under his blankets, but Hyunjin reached out an arm to stop him before he could.

“Can we at least cuddle? You promised we could and it might help you feel better.” The stress had left his voice for the most part but he still wore a small frown.

Letting out a small sigh, Jisung fully got under the covers and patted the spot next to him, making Hyunjin smile. “Ok but no talking, just sleep.” He mumbled before exhaustively throwing an arm over Hyunjin’s side, burying his face in his chest as soon as he had laid down. At least he was too tired to think about the fact that he’s cuddling with the source of his tears, he barely even got to process what was happening before knocking out.

-

With half his friends now out of the dorms, Jisung was enjoying his alone time. Well the alone time he managed to get- every other day Changbin or Felix would come around and drag him and Chan out to go do something. Him and Chan always complied, even if it was reluctantly. It was at least nice to see the oldest of his friends more now that he was slightly relieved from studying for his double major.

Christmas had been fun, they all opened their presents in Changbin’s apartment as it was the only place that could fit them all comfortably. Chan had heard 5 seconds of the song he, Changbin, and Felix had made and burst into tears. After Chan had calmed down, they had a cuddle pile on Changbin’s carpet. They then lounged around for the rest of the day and watched random Christmas movies. It was one of the best Christmases Jisung had ever had.

Now it was new years eve and Jisung was currently facetiming Seungmin who was still at Minho’s parent’s house. “I know you know your limits, just make sure you don’t overdo it.” Seungmin was saying as he lifted up shirts off a pile to examine them. “I assume you haven’t taken your meds today?”

Tonight Jisung was going to a party, well it was technically a party but it would be him and the other three still here plus some of Chan and Changbin’s higher grade friends. At first he didn’t really want to go but Felix had begged him to so he didn’t have to stand around alone all night. Now he was trying to get Seungmin’s advice on what to wear, but all his friend was doing was stressing about how he shouldn’t get too drunk. “Yeah yeah I know and I didn’t take my pills, I'm not going to die. I still don’t know what to wear though. Almost all my clothes are hoodies and random t-shirts.” He frowns, staring at his wardrobe in frustration.

“Get an oversized t-shirt with a cool design on it and tuck it into some skinny jeans. Oh and wear some eyeliner too, you haven’t worn it in forever and you always look so good.” Seungmin said thoughtfully, throwing a shirt off to the side. He was also planning for a party, except it was with Minho’s relatives and he would definitely not be getting drunk in front of them.

Digging through his shirts, he pulls out a way too big gray shirt with a pair of headphones with thorns tangled around them and holds it up for Seungmin to see, “How’s this one?”

Nodding Seungmin points at the camera, “Yes. That and some black ripped skinny jeans plus eyeliner and you're the emo boy of everyone’s dreams.”

Jisung laughs, “Ok great, thank you but I should probably actually get changed now, Felix is coming over soon.” Who knows how long it was going to take him to remember how to put on eyeliner properly, he was gonna need some time.

“Yeah I need to get ready too. Say hi to Lix and the others for me. Stay safe and don’t make dumb decisions or I’ll slap the shit out of you.”

He’d have to apologize to Seungmin before he got back, cause Jisung was about 3 times more fucked up than he planned to be right now. Knowing Felix, you’d never guess he’d be a big drinker but the two were currently falling into each other, laughing about who knows what. It had just turned 11, one hour til midnight and Jisung could tell this was not going to be a new year he would remember.

Just as Felix was reaching for two more cans of the shitty beer they bought, Changbin grabbed them out of his grasp, “Don’t you think the two of you have had enough to drink at this point?” Since it was at his apartment, Changbin was trying to stay at least conscious of his decisions so the cops wouldn’t get called.

But Jisung and Felix didn’t appreciate his interruption, “No, definitely not. Gimme.” Jisung made a lunge for the cans. Changbin easily moved it out of his reach and Jisung stumbled over his feet, falling to the floor along with a wailing Felix who attempted to catch him.

“You guys are the worst.” Changbin helped them up, giving an awkward pat to Felix’s shoulder as he continued to wail. “Ok Jisung, stay here. I’m going to put Felix to sleep before he gets his snot all over me.” Changbin began to drag a whining Felix away to his bedroom.

And then Jisung was alone. He frowned and pulled out his phone, seeing it was still only 11:03. What was he supposed to do now? Grabbing another can of beer, he held it up to his burning hot face. When did it get so hot in here? Frown deepening, he wandered to the front door, slipping outside without anyone noticing.

He sighed in relief as the cool air hit his face. Now that he was alone, being drunk was a lot less fun. He wanted to go home. Without much thought he headed off in the direction of campus. It was only a 5 minute walk from Changbin’s apartment to the edge of campus so he’d easily memorized it.

As he reached campus, stumbling the entire way, he started to feel around his pockets for his key. The only thing he could find was his phone, where did his key go? How was he supposed to go to sleep without getting into his dorm? He pouted before remembering his roommate, he had a key too! He could let him in.

Jisung clicked on his roommate's contact and brought the phone up to his face. After two short rings Hyunjin picked up, “Jisung? Is everything ok?” The older boy sounded confused as he picked up, there was a faint sound of people talking in the background but it wasn’t loud enough to be a party.

“Can you unlock the door for me? I lost my key.” He asked as he began to trudge up the stairs of their dorm building, almost tripping a couple times.

There was a sound of rustling from the other side before Hyunjin responded, “I’m still at my mom’s house remember, oh my god- are you drunk?” Realization sets in as Hyunjin lowers his voice.

Jisung’s brow scrunches up, that’s right. Hyunjin wasn’t here. He was with his parents. “Oh yeah, sorry.” He slurred. He’d finally arrived at his dorm, but still had no way of entry. He lightly banged his head against the door in frustration, sinking down to the ground with a pout.

The sound of even more movement came as Jisung stared at the ground, trying and failing to come up with a way to get in. “Hey are you ok? Is anyone with you?” Alarm was rising in Hyunjin’s voice as he heard the bang, not knowing what it was.

Looking around, Jisung noted that he definitely was alone, “No one’s here, Felix went to sleep and it was hot so I left. And now I just want to sleep but I can’t, I can’t and I’m hot again and I just want to sleep Hyunjin.” Tears were beginning to roll down his face, “And now my eyeliner is ruined because I’m crying.” His voice grew more upset and he stuffed his face into his arms, leaning against his dorm door.

“Um, ok listen. Just sit tight and please don’t go anywhere. Actually just stay on the line with me. I’ll be there before midnight ok?” A door opened and shut, being followed by a car door on Hyunjin’s side.

“No, don't I look gross. Maybe I’ll go back to Changbin’s or something.”

He began to get up but the volume of Hyunjin’s voice stopped him. “Jisung, I said don’t move.” He didn’t sound mad, just stressed. The car was audibly in motion now. Hyunjin sighed, voice quietening, “I just want you to stay safe. I promise I won’t judge what you look like just please stay there Sungie.”

Nodding as if Hyunjin could see him, Jisung laid down on the ground, trying to get comfortable. If he couldn’t sleep in his bed right now he might as well sleep here. He heard further talking- which was quite loud- from his phone and annoyedly pressed the end call button before nodding off into unconsciousness.

“...sung, Jisung. Wake up please.” Jisung came to consciousness slowly, opening his eyes confusedly. Who was shaking his shoulders? He was trying to sleep.

The shaking didn’t stop even after he opened his eyes, “What?” He grunted, slowly propping himself up. Finally the shaking let up and Jisung looked at the offender. Hyunjin was standing there with tears in his eyes as he knelt over Jisung. “Why are you crying, what happened?” He looked around them as if something was hunting them down, but there was nothing but quiet darkness surrounding them.

“You idiot, I thought something happened to you.” His voice was shaky as he fumbled for his keys, pausing to help Jisung up before continuing his search.

“Here, sit down.” Once they’d gotten inside Hyunjin sat him down on his bed before disappearing into their bathroom. The boy reappeared with a cup of water and a pill in his hands. “Take this, it’ll make sure you feel better by the time you sober up.”

Jisung gulped down the water and pill, the water immediately refreshing him a bit. As he put down his cup he came to a realization, “Wait, you’re supposed to be at your parent’s house.” His head hurt as he thought about it, was Hyunjin magic this whole time and just never told him?

With a sigh, Hyunjin sat down next to Jisung and leaned his head on his shoulder, “I was, I live like 20 minutes away so I just drove here.” Hyunjin reached into his pocket and checked his phone, “We have about 15 minutes till new years Sungie, where’s your laptop, let me pull up the countdown.”

After pointing to where it sat in his bag, Hyunjin grabbed it and typed in Jisung’s password with ease. Jisung watched in silence as Hyunjin pulled up the live countdown and pulled Jisung’s blankets over them. “Sorry for ruining your new years.” He said quietly, the water plus sleep had really helped him come to his senses and realize what had happened. Even just without being on his medication Jisung made bad choices, but the lack of meds plus alcohol really made him fuck stuff up. He didn’t really care if it affected himself but he couldn’t believe he let himself do this to Hyunjin.

With a laugh, Hyunjin threw his arm around Jisung’s shoulder, pulling him snug against his side, “No you didn’t ruin it, trust me I’m having a way better time here with you than I would be with my mom. There’s a good reason why I choose to live in a dorm when I could easily commute.”

“Oh, uh- then you’re welcome I guess?” Jisung brought the covers up to his chin, mindlessly watching the countdown hosts discuss the new year. “I’m sorry you don’t get along with your mom.” He added on quietly, he himself has had lots of experience with bad parent relationships, but he still didn’t quite know how to comfort someone that had dealt with it before.

Hyunjin stifled another laugh, “You don’t have to comfort me Hannie, I’m fine. You’re the one that needs help here, remember?”

With a frown Jisung shook his head, “I’m doing amazing, I don't know what you’re talking about.” He grumbled.

“You reek of alcohol and your words are still slightly slurred Ji, you might have sobered up a bit but you’re still drunk. It won’t surprise me if you don’t remember any of this in the morning.”

Jisung elbowed the boy next to him and reached forward to check the time on the laptop. “There’s less than ten minutes till new years, you’re not allowed to be mean to me right now.”

The pair continued to mindlessly chat until the countdown reached a minute. “Are you ready for the new year Jisungie?” Hyunjin grabbed his arm and gently shook him.

“New year no drinking!” Jisung sarcastically threw his hand up in a cheer. “I think I’m going to get even cooler this year, so yes of course I’m ready to be even cooler than before. Are you ready?”

Hyunjin nodded slowly as he watched the timer tick down to 20, “I think so, I have a couple goals in mind already. Now shhhh, we need to watch and count.”

The pair chanted as the countdown got closer and closer, “...3, 2, 1, happy new y-” Jisung’s celebration was cut off by Hyunjin bowling him over in a hug with a bright laugh.

“Happy new year Sungie, I’m glad you’re here.” He happily said while squeezing Jisung as tightly as possible.

Jisung slowly wrapped his arms around his roommate, tucking his head into the older’s shoulder. “Happy new year Hyune, thank you for coming to my rescue.” He grinned as Hyunjin let out a laugh, squeezing him impossibly tighter.

“Now as much as I’d love to stay up to celebrate the new year, we can do that tomorrow, You need to sleep off the alcohol and I need to sleep off the stress of thinking my roommate got kidnapped.” Hyunjin slightly loosened the grip he’d had on Jisung since the new year started and rolled off to the side before tucking himself against Jisung’s chest.

Smacking the boy lightly, Jisung pouted, “I already said I was sorry.”

“What was that? I can’t hear anything over the sound of me sleeping.” Hyunjin squeezed his eyes shut and kicked Jisung in the leg.

“Ok, ok, good night Hyunjin.” Sighing contentedly, Jisung let his arms readjust around Hyunjin more comfortably before shutting his eyes.

-

And for the second time in the past 2 months, Jisung awoke to the sound of hushed voices. Groggily opening his eyes, he saw Changbin and Hyunjin’s forms by the door of the room.(Of course it was these two again) “-and why are you only here now? Jisung disappeared from your apartment almost 12 hours ago but you didn’t do shit.” He made out Hyunjin’s voice angrily whispering.

What were they talking about? Jisung tried to think about the possibilities but it only made his head ache. Oh yeah. Alcohol. He had faint memories of what had happened last night but it’d probably be best if he left the deep thinking for after his hangover. Refocusing on the conversation in front of him, Jisung began to realize how serious it was, “Hyunjin- I seriously didn’t realize he was gone until after midnight, I was taking care of Felix and trying to keep control of everything but by the time-”

Hyunjin cut Changbin off with a scoff, “Oh I’m so sorry you were just too busy with more important things. It’s not like someone who’s supposedly one of your best friends was unsafe and alone while drunk.”

Feeling a bit alarmed, Jisung quietly stood up. The pair by the door were too engaged in their conversation to even notice Jisung standing there with a frown. “Dude, I have always taken care of Jisung, and I’ll admit I should’ve figured out he was gone before midnight, but again, after-”

“God, for someone who acts like Jisung’s boyfriend you sure suck at pretending to give a shit about him. He could’ve been lying dead in the streets if he hadn’t called me, and that’d be on you.” Hyunjin hissed out as he pressed a finger into Changbin’s chest, having long since stopped whispering.

Jisung almost gasped as those words came out of Hyunjin’s mouth, he only felt like he could stand and stare as Changbin began to respond with a darkened expression. “I have really tried to get along with you these past months. For Jisung. But if you’re going to walk around talking like you own him I don’t know if I can tolerate that. He’s not a child who doesn’t know how to take care of himself and he’s not yours so don’t even play that card.”

Changbin took a step forward and Jisung’s frown deepened before he finally jumped in before things went any further, “Guys. Please stop.” He realized how fucked his voice sounded but it still had the needed effect. Both his friends tensed in their spots and slowly turned to face Jisung. Hyunjin looked distraught at the fact that they’d been caught in the middle of their argument while Changbin still looked like he was about to punch something. “Please guys. I’m not worth this argument, I don’t want it.” He stood there helplessly while the pair kept frozen in silence, still by the door.

“But Jisung, he just left you out there, you could’ve been stuck outside by yourself all night if I hadn’t shown up.” Hyunjin weakly broke the silence, the fight had already drained from his body.

An annoyed sigh escaped Changbin as he cut in, “If you would let me finish what I’ve been trying to say now that’d be great. Felix would not go to sleep and it ended up taking me a lot longer for me to quiet him down than I thought. By the time I’d helped Felix there was 10 minutes till new years. I’ll admit I should have made sure Jisung was still here at this point and Jisung, I’m very sorry for that. Like 5 minutes after new years, I realized I couldn’t find Jisung and checked his location, because I have that on my phone.” He pointedly looked at Hyunjin who stared at the ground. “I saw that Jisung was at campus and figured he was alright, I texted Seungmin asking to see if he had contact with you since you weren’t picking up my calls. He said no but he checked your location as well and told me Hyunjin was with you. So I assumed Hyunjin had come back to take care of you. As soon as I woke up this morning I grabbed everything you left and came over here as soon as possible. Does that satisfy you Hyunjin?” Changbin frowned as he finished his account of what had happened.

Jisung let out a ragged sigh, it was too early to be dealing with this shit. “Listen Hyunjin, I really appreciate you standing up for me, but it’s not Changbin’s responsibility in the first place to take care of me, it’s mine and it’s my fault for wandering off. Changbin I forgive you and thank you for bringing me my shit. You can put it on my desk and go home if you want, just please refrain from taking physical action on my roommate.” He rubbed his hands down his face as the two looked at him with wide eyes. “Listen guys, I’m cold, and tired, I haven’t taken my meds, and would like to go back to bed. Love you both but I would like to be able to re-wake up and not hear two of my favorite people arguing. Hyune, please come snuggle with me. I want to talk to you.” He said with finality before trudging back to his bed, diving under the blankets and pulling them up to just under his eyes.

The previously arguing pair stared at him for a couple more seconds before snapping out of it, Changbin carefully set down a bag on top of Jisung’s desk and waved, “Alright Sung, have a good sleep. I’m really sorry.”

After Changbin had taken his exit, Hyunjin slowly tucked himself in next to Jisung, “I’m so s-”

“No Hyunjin, I’m sorry. I know I really scared you and it wasn’t ok for me to do that. I can tell you’re really stressed and it’s because of me, so I’m letting you off easy this time.” Jisung quickly interrupted his roommate, giving Hyunjin’s hands a squeeze under the covers.

Hyunjin gave Jisung a small smile, “Thank you, but that still wasn’t okay for me to do, I-”

“Hyune, shhhhhhh. We can further discuss this later when I’m more awake. Let’s sleep now.” He closed his eyes and shifted closer to his roommate.

With a laugh, Hyunjin moved in closer as well. “Alright, have a good rest of your sleep.”

-

“So Hyunjin, about earlier. I had a question.” It was now later in the afternoon and Jisung was scribbling down lyrics in his notebook while Hyunjin was drawing across the room on his own bed.

Hyunjin looked up from his sketchbook with a timid smile, “Yeah, ask me anything.”

Jisung paused to think of how to word his question before continuing, “I understood where most of your anger was coming from in what I heard. But there was one comment that really threw me off. What was with the whole boyfriend comment?” He had been thinking about this since he woke up, like what was that whole thing supposed to mean and how had he never noticed the tension between the two people he spends the most time with?

Across the room Hyunjin tensed before sighing deeply. “Um. Well, there was a while where I thought you and Changbin were dating…and I just was stupid and decided to use it to fuel an insult just in case you actually were. I’m really sorry that was so not okay of me.” The boy hung his head after finishing his words.

“Oh. Well we definitely aren’t, Changbin communicates with his soulmate and I don’t really get the whole situation, but they plan on meeting as break ends.” Jisung didn’t really know what he was expecting as an answer, but it wasn’t that.

Hyunjin nodded slowly, “Ah, that’s good for him. I wasn’t sure if you two were soulmates or not.” Finally sitting up, Hyunjin looked straight at Jisung as he hesitantly opened his mouth for the second time. “Actually, can I tell you something? It’ll explain why I live here instead of with my mom and might give a slightly better reason as to why I was so rude about the boyfriend comment.” The taller boy’s gaze flitted back and forth from Jisung to his lap as he waited for his response.

Placing his notebook to the side, Jisung sat up and gave his full attention to Hyunjin, “Yeah of course.”

Mirroring Jisung, Hyunjin placed his sketchbook next to him and shook himself. “Alright so, I’m sure you remember me bursting into tears like a week after we met. Well the reason why I was crying was because my soulmate wrote to me.” Oh. Jisung was about to find out about the soulmate trauma. Was he ready to hear this? Probably not but he’s definitely about to find out.

“It’s not that I don’t believe in soulmates. Like I definitely believe the love and connection between Seungmin and Minho is real and I see so many people so happy together. But I hear stories like Felix’s, he doesn’t even know his soulmate's name because they want to learn everything when they can talk in person, but Felix is so obsessed.”
Hyunjin paused to glance up at Jisung to make sure he was following what he was saying. Jisung gave a small nod, urging him to continue. “This alone feels so strange to me, I love Felix but he’s willing to put his full trust in the universe's plans without having even met this person. And then there’s my parents. I- my parents were so in love, they were soulmates. I grew up with a very happy family, but when I was 10, my dad died. After that my mom became a completely different person, it’s so hard to be around her now. All the care and love she had was just drained after my dad died. So to me, if a soulmate can destroy you like that, are they really meant for you? Is it wrong for me to be in love with someone even if they aren’t the one assigned to me?” Hyunjin’s eyes shined as he looked at Jisung. Was Hyunjin in love?

Swallowing thickly, Jisung tried to put some supportive words together. “I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through that with your family, that must’ve been so hard. And whatever you want to do with your life is your choice, there’s nothing wrong with what you believe.” He gave a small shrug to finish off his statement. After that he felt as if he understood his friend a lot more, there was no way he was going to let his feelings get in Hyunjin’s way now more than ever before. There was a certain weight in his heart. Hyunjin obviously had feelings for someone, someone that wasn’t Jisung. He needed to get rid of his feelings and he needed to do it as quickly as possible.

-

After his lovely exchange with Hyunjin the other night, Jisung had picked up the only strategy to get rid of his feelings for Hyunjin he could think of, avoidance. Luckily, Hyunjin had gone back to his mom’s just for today to pack up his stuff and bring it back to the dorms. That means he has until the end of today to come up with a long term reason why he won't be able to spend as much time with Hyunjin.

He didn’t have many options, half his friends were also Hyunjin’s friends so it’s not like he could lie about them. Fresh out of a fight didn’t seem like the best time for Jisung to stick to Changbin at all times so he ruled that excuse out as well. That left his singular other friend, Chan. As much as he loved Chan, that man barely took time to breathe let alone have the time to spend with Jisung he could use as an excuse.

Actually…it was still going to be winter break for a couple more weeks…Chan doesn’t have as much work right now. Jisung could use the excuse that he wanted to spend as much time as possible with his friend before he was swamped in work again. “Yeah, that’d work.” He muttered to himself in the quiet of his dorm.

Spending more time with Chan would be nice anyways, they barely get the time to hang out together outside the studio and he hasn’t really gotten the chance to bond with the older man that he’s gotten with Changbin.

-

And avoid Hyunjin Jisung did. For the past week the boy had been skitting around his roommate, leaving right after he woke up and only coming back after the time Hyunjin is usually asleep. It was currently 1 in the morning and Jisung was finally taking the short walk back to the dorm, quietly humming along to the music playing through his airpods.

As he unlocked the door and stepped in, he was surprised to see the lights still on and Hyunjin sitting on Jisung’s bed with a frown on his face. “Oh, uh, hi Hyunjin. I’m surprised you’re still up.”

“Are you still mad at me for the argument with Changbin?” Hyunjin immediately asked, steadily gazing straight into Jisung’s soul.

Slowly setting his bag down, Jisung wracked his brain for a way to get out of this conversation. “What? No, I forgave you the second it ended. Like I said I fucked up more than anyone else.” He hoped his answer would satisfy the other enough so he could just go to sleep.

Hyunjin raised his eyebrows in something akin to disbelief. “Oh really? Then why have you been trying to spend as little time as possible with me? This is the first time we’ve said more than 5 words to each other since I told you about my thing with soulmates. Is that what this is about? I thought you said you had no problem with how I felt.” His tone became a bit more accusing as he spoke.

This would not end well, Jisung had really fucked up this time. “No, really, I respect whatever you think.” He waved his hands in a frenzy, honestly even he wouldn’t have believed himself right now.

“Wow, I really didn’t place you as one of those people who look down at me for that. I trusted you when I told you that Jisung.” A deep frown had set onto Hyunjin’s face.

“Whoa, wait Hyunjin listen-”

His roommate slowly stood up from his spot, “Actually, out of our group, I expected you to be the last person to do this type of shit. I thought that maybe you thought similarly to me, you seem to pretty obviously not be in a relationship with your soulmate. But maybe you just kept it hidden.” Hyunjin laughed dryly, standing in front of Jisung with his arms crossed.

Jisung tried to reach out to Hyunjin but he took a step back out of Jisung’s reach. “Please Hyunjin, you know I wouldn’t-”

He was again cut off, his mind was swimming in panic. What was he supposed to say without revealing anything? “Is that why you wouldn’t tell me your birthday? Are you trying to keep it a sacred little celebration just for your soulmate to know? Do you two write cute little love letters to each other on your arms and add ‘xoxo’ at the end?”

Jisung’s brain froze as soon as the birthday comment slipped out of his roommate’s mouth. Does he really seem like that? Is that the type of person Hyunjin perceives him to be? “Ok Hyunjin, you-”

“What’re you going to do, call your soulmate to shield you from your impure roommate?” He sneered. Jisung could see the tears that were threatening to spill over his friend’s eyes. He was obviously putting up a front right now but Jisung was hurt.

“Stop. You obviously don’t know me at all if you think that, none of that is true.” He tried to keep his voice calm. Hyunjin was just trying to rile him up.

Hyunjin scoffed, “Yeah don’t worry. I realized I didn’t know you when you started to avoid me because you’re a piece of shit who wants everyone to be with their soulmate.”

Jisung was tired. And maybe he deserved this- he definitely did. But he was tired of hearing this. “Fuck off. You don’t have any idea about the shit I’ve gone through related to my birthday and you definitely don’t know about the situation with my soulmate. I’m going to sleep now. Goodnight Hyunjin.”

As Hyunjin opened his mouth once again instead of moving off his bed like Jisung had hoped, he felt his last bit of patience wear through. “You don’t have to lie, just tell me you look down on me and move on.”

“Oh my god- Hyunjin my soulmate doesn’t want me. Is that what you wanted to hear? Now get the fuck off my bed.” Jisung’s voice was cold as he spoke, glaring at the boy sitting there.

His words definitely shut up Hyunjin who was now frozen in shock. “Wait what? What do you mean your soulmate doesn’t want you?” Tears were openly falling down the other's face, and Jisung realized he now had tears of his own.

Jisung slowly backed towards the door. “They don’t want me Hyunjin, they rejected me.” He spoke, whispering the last part.

Slowly getting up off the bed, Hyunjin reached out to Jisung. “But- but who wouldn’t want you, you’re one of the most talented people I’ve ever met.” His voice had turned soft as he grabbed Jisung’s shoulder.

With a scoff, Jisung looked off to the side. “Well sadly talent isn’t the thing people really look for in a relationship.” He stepped out of Hyunjin’s grasp and finally landed into his bed, ready to just sleep all the pain away.

But of course it couldn’t be that easy, Hyunjin softly grabbed Jisung’s arm. “I’ve been a complete asshole to you and I’m sorry. A lot of people have looked down on me because of what I think about soulmates, but I shouldn’t have assumed you were the same.”

Jisung nodded in acknowledgement, “Yeah it’s fine, I deserved part of that for the silent treatment anyways. It was rude, we can talk about this more in the morning if you want but I’m really tired. G’night Hyunjin.”

As he slowly shifted around under his blankets, Hyunjin said his goodnight as he returned to his bed. “Yeah of course go ahead and get some rest. And by the way, your soulmate is an idiot for not wanting to be with you.”

The irony almost made Jisung roll his eyes. He was almost tempted to say something but he held himself back, forcing his eyes shut. He was going to take some deep breaths and go to sleep.

-

“Sooooo, how was Christmas with your boyfriend's family?” Jisung wriggled his eyebrows, enjoying the flush that sprouted up his best friend’s neck.

Seungmin stirred his drink with a sigh, “It was really good actually. His parents are super sweet and we got along more than I thought we would.”

Jisung grinned with cheeks full of cheesecake, “I’m sure Minho absolutely loved that, isn’t he a huge family man?”

The bashful look on his friend's face was rare and he was going to enjoy embarrassing him about this as much as possible. “Ah, yeah he is. I think he was really happy about how it went, we just got back yesterday but he already asked me to come over for a movie night later.” Seungmin’s features were taken over by a giant grin as he spoke, Jisung felt a pang of softness for his friend. No one besides Minho had ever been able to make his best friend smile like that. And if Minho ever- ever fucks up, Jisung will end him.

“But who really cares about my loser boyfriend. How was your break? We didn’t talk after new years eve.” Seungmin leaned back in his chair with that analyzing look he always has whenever his ‘Jisung senses’, as he likes to call it, are tingling.

Jisung carefully chooses his words, slowly bringing another forkful of the sweet dessert in front of him to stall for time. “Uh, it was good.” He cringed at the uncertainty in his own voice. “I think maybe next year I should prioritize my meds over alcohol.” A nervous laugh as he finished off his words, staring at his lap.

Seungmin tapped on the table, signaling Jisung to look up. “Did something happen with your anxiety? Changbin is supposed to know about it, right? I swear I’ll kill him if he-” A protective look darkened his friend’s face as he spoke.

This was precisely why Jisung was worried about telling him. Seungmin had been there through every stage of Jisung’s anxiety, had been there to see the remains after some of his worst anxiety attacks and had always been the one to pick up his pieces and put him back together. For that Jisung loved him, but it was Seungmin’s responsibility to look after him- it shouldn’t be. Jisung is an adult now, he’s the only one that should be worrying about his mental health. “It’s nothing like that,” He waved his arms, why does everyone think of Changbin as his god damned caretaker, the man can’t even take care of himself. “I just had too much to drink. I ended up wandering back to my dorm and Hyunjin ended up finding me asleep outside the door.” He muttered, the more he thought about that night the more embarrassed he felt.

When he finally got the guts to look back up at his friend, Seungmin was staring at him with a look of worry and fury. “So that’s why Changbin called me- I swear to god Sung you could’ve hurt yourself!” Seungmin dragged a hand down his face, groaning.

Jisung offered a sheepish smile, “Sorryyyyy, I didn’t get hurt though and I’ve already received a lecture from both my roommate and Changbin, so don’t worry! You don’t need to give me one too.” He tried to lighten the mood, which of course worked, his best friend’s face going back to a smile.

“I’m not going to lecture you, just be careful in the future.” He reached over and bopped him on the head. “Now let’s go to your dorm, I want to say hi to Hyunjin.”

Jisung unlocked the door to their dorm to see Hyunjin lounging on his bed, sketchbook in his lap. “Woah Seungmin, I haven’t seen you in forever.” The boy immediately hopped up, wrapping his arms around Seungmin happily.

“Wow ok yeah, just ignore the roommate I guess.” Jisung feigned offense, flopping onto his bed dramatically.

Blatantly ignoring him, Seungmin and Hyunjin stepped back from their hug with a smile. “I’m glad you haven’t died since I last saw you. Thanks for taking care of my dumbass best friend while I was gone.” A deadpan was sent in his direction, which Jisung of course responded to with a grin.

Hyunjin laughed lightly, “Yeah of course, I’m just glad he ended up ok.” The blonde sent a smile in Jisung’s direction which was immediately returned. The pair hadn’t gotten the chance to talk about their argument yet. Jisung slept in a concerning amount and the first thing he saw when he woke up was a billion texts from Seungmin demanding they go out to lunch. But it seemed like things were going to be ok between them.

“You guys are grossly attached to each other. It was nice seeing you but I still need to unpack a bit more.” Seungmin rolled his eyes at the pout that overtook Hyunjin’s face and turned to leave.

Jisung gave a pout of his own, even if it was already too late. “Aww so soon? Bye Seungie, have fun with your man later.” He singsonged as his best friend hurried his steps at the implication of his words.

A cackle erupted from Hyunjin as the door slammed shut and both the boys fell back onto their respective beds. Now that they were alone the air became slightly tense. Should he ask to talk about the argument now? I mean, there wasn’t really a point in waiting. “So… about last night. We should really talk.”

The older boy dragged himself into a sitting position and drew his knees up to his chest, facing Jisung. “Yeah you’re right. I’d first just like to say that I’m extremely sorry. I’ve been such a terrible friend lately.” A deep frown etched itself onto his soulmate's face and he hated the sight more than anything.

“Hey don’t say that. I’ve been shitty too. I should’ve just reached out and spoken to you about what was bothering me instead of shutting you out.” Of course he wasn’t talking about telling Hyunjin that he was his soulmate, he meant telling the vague version that didn’t specify his roommate being said soulmate.

Hyunjin suddenly sat up from his bed and plopped himself down next to Jisung. “I do agree that it really hurts to be shut out like that but I shouldn’t have reacted so aggressively, I let past experiences blur how much our friendship means to me and hurt you in several ways.”

Jisung wished he could say Hyunjin hadn’t hurt him, that everything was fine and they could go on without this confession, but they were close enough that Hyunjin deserved to know. “Yeah so about my birthday. It’s not that I didn’t tell you because I don’t like you or anything. I just have…a bad past with it involving my shitty family. I don’t want to get into now but they were a bit abusive and it especially came out on my birthday. Then that combining with the thought that I generally don’t deserve to be celebrated like at all has really fucked up the day for me.” He picked at his cuticles as he spoke softly, not daring to look up. This was the closest he’s ever come to talking about this to someone who wasn’t Seungmin.

When Hyunjin next spoke, he was not expecting it to be so wobbly, “Oh Ji.. we all love you so much I hope you know that. I won’t press on something that’s so sensitive for you but I really am so sorry and I hope one day you’ll realize how precious you are.” The goal of this conversation was not to make Hyunjin cry what the fuck.

Hurriedly waving his hands he struggled with a way to comfort the boy. “Fuck, sorry this wasn’t supposed to upset you. You really don’t have to worry it’s not a big deal.” He reached out to wipe the tears off the others face but hesitated, retracting his hand.

The tears only seemed to intensify at his attempted reassurance. “It is a big deal if it’s affected you so much. I’m so sorry I can’t believe I said all that shit about not only your soulmate but your birthday.”

Not knowing how to respond, Jisung gives a sad smile in response. “I really do forgive you Hyunjin, I can’t imagine how people might’ve treated you in the past because of your different thinking regarding soulmates, so I get that this seemed like another one of those cases.”

A watery smile now replaced the crumpled look the older had, “I completely understand if you don’t want to tell me, but I am curious as to who your soulmate is.”

Playing it off, Jisung scoffed, “Why? What’re you going to do, beat them up?”

“Maybe.” Hyunjin said solemnly. If only he knew he’d be fighting himself if that were the case.

With a hopefully convincing smile, Jisung tried to pass it off, “Ah it’s really not important, and I’m sure they don’t want me going around telling people who they are anyways.”

Hyunjin pouted but finally seemed to give up on the topic. “I’ll figure it out one day.” He let out a nervous laugh at that comment, let’s hope he doesn’t figure it out ever or that’s the end of their friendship.

-

As the next semester began, Jisung found Valentine's day fast approaching. Of course he had zero plans on asking anyone out- I mean, who would he even ask? But he did have plans to lock himself up in a studio with Chan and work on music all day to drown out the loneliness. He didn’t really get what Chan’s deal was when it came to soulmates, but the pair seemed to have mutually understood not to ask each other about it.

To everyone’s surprise, the mysterious soulmate Changbin had been waiting for the new semester to meet, was Felix of all people. He knew they were both waiting to meet their soulmate in person but he never would've guessed that. Changbin had always had a soft spot for the younger aussie, Jisung knew they would both take great care of each other even if they were trying to take things as slow as possible.

So of course the now two pairs of soulmates in their group were off to go on their own dates, although Seungmin would be stopping by in the morning to give each other their gifts they’ve been giving since they were basically in the womb.

As for Hyunjin, the man hadn’t so much as breathed about the holiday. Jisung was pretty sure he was too scared to ask him about it because of the nature of their last argument.

Washing all the thoughts away, Jisung awkwardly placed the box of chocolates and rose down on the checkout counter, waiting for the cashier to ring them up. He didn’t fully get why he and Seungmin always got each other the same exact thing every year, but as he said, tradition.

After timidly smiling at the tired looking worker as he paid, the brunette grabbed his items and hurried out of the store. It was already 7pm on the 13th, he was a little late with his shopping but hey, he still got it done and that’s all that matters right??

Jisung was jumpscared by a voice as he closed the door to his dorm, “Nice rose.” He expected Hyunjin to still be at the library. His roommate had an unreadable look on his face as Jisung clutched his heart.

“Holy shit dude, you scared me.” He shivered only a little overdramatically and hobbled over to his bed after setting the chocolate and flower down on his desk.

Hyunjin’s gaze didn’t waiver even after his theatrics, “Who’s the stuff for?” He cocked his head in question. He did not expect Hyunjin to care whatsoever about this, he felt a bit nervous under his weirdly intense gaze.

Shrugging casually, he waved off the serious tone his roommate was throwing at him, “Just Seungmin. We’ve gotten eachother a rose and chocolates every year on Valentine’s ever since I can remember.” He cautiously looked back at Hyunjin, hoping that weird and vaguely scary expression was gone.

Luckily his reason seemed to have satisfied Hyunjin and his signature smile had returned. “Ohhh that’s cool, what’re your plans for tomorrow?” Guess the guy wasn’t too terrified of making Jisung cry again to ask.

“Chan asked if I wanted to hang out, which I fully assume means going to the studio all day. What about you?” A touch of sadness hit Jisung as he thought about how this would’ve been the first Valentine’s he’d have gotten to spend with someone special.

It was Hyunjin’s turn to shrug, “Ah, I think I’m just going to hang out around the dorm and rest for a day.” Now he felt a bit bad, maybe he could’ve gotten Chan to invite Hyunjin with them and they could’ve gone out and done something. But before he could even respond, Hyunjin abruptly changed the subject, “Well anyways, let me tell you about the absolute bullshit that happened during my lecture earlier…”

-

“Hey shithead, open the door or I’m going to throw rocks through your window you dumb whore!” Jisung abruptly sat up in his bead due to the yelling and aggressive knocking. He looked across the room to see a confused Hyunjin who by the looks of it had also woken up thanks to the racket.

With a groan, Jisung willed himself to get up and waited for a gap in the knocking to avoid getting hit in the face to welcome the guests. “Holy fuck you guys are obnxious.” He muttered as Minho and Seungmin pranced through the door. “You guys could’ve just knocked like normal people instead of screaming, Minho.” The oldest just grinned as he took a seat on his bed.

Seungmin laughed, “Sorry, I tried to get him to be quiet. Kind of.”

Jisung rolled his eyes and made grabby hands towards his friends, “Whatever, where's the goods?”

Reaching into his tote bag, Seungmin carefully withdrew a rose and box of chocolates shaped in a heart and handed them over to Jisung with a grin. “Happy Valentine’s Day, love of my life.”

Jisung excitedly took the offerings, and after carefully placing the rose into the small vase he had already prepared, grabbed Seeungmin’s gifts, bowing as he presented them. “And to you, the love of my life.” The pair shared a bubbly laugh as they crashed into a hug. Jisung was truly lucky to have his best friend.

“That was fucking disgusting. Are you guys done now?” The happy pair turned to look at a disturbed looking Minho and Hyunjin struggling to contain his laughter.

“You’re just salty that Seungmin loves me more than you.” Jisung stuck out as tongue. Minho scoffed at that, but before he could retort another knock came from the door.

Grateful for the escape from the argument, Jisung turned to open the door again. Another pair stood in front of him, Chan which made sense, and…Jeongin? Minho’s brother?

“JeonGIN!” Jisung leapt forward, wrestling the younger boy into a hug, “I haven’t seen you in forever you little shit, respond to my texts.”

The boy struggled his way out of Jisung’s grasp, slipping by him into the room to stand by his brother. “I told you Jisungie, I’ve been super busy I’m sorry.”

Jisung pouted but left the boy alone. Jeongin was Jisung’s third wheel buddy when Minho and Seungmin first started dating, whenever Seungmin would drag him along for ‘bonding’ as he called it, he’d always stick by Jeongin’s side. Sadly, the boy had joined one billion extracurriculars and he never got to see him anymore.

“Now that we’re all here, shall we go?” Chan clapped his hands with a smile.

All there? What’d he mean ‘all’? “Huh.” He said dumbly.

Chan rolled his eyes, “Jisung I told you like two days ago. I invited you and Jeongin to go out somewhere and asked you to extend the invitation to Hyunjin.” Jisung wracked his brain for that ever happening, but as far he knew that didn’t happen.

Or more like it did happen but Jisung wasn’t fully paying attention. “OH. Uh. Hyunjin, Chan invited me to hang out with him and Jeongin today and told me to invite you too, you want to come?” He turned to his roommate, acting as if the four other people weren’t in the room.

Hyunjin giggled but went along with his act, “Oh yeah that sounds great. I just need to, yknow, get ready.” He gestured to how he was still sitting in bed, and Jisung realized he was still in his pajamas as well.

“Oh yeah, same.” He turned back to the their guests with a smile, “Ok 2min if you would kindly leave and go be gay that’d be great, have fun.”

Seungmin scoffed and fluffed Jisung’s hair as he walked by, “Have fun Sungie.”

Minho stuck out his tongue as he followed his boyfriend out the door, “I didn’t even want to come here in the first place.” He grumbled.

“Lovely, now that they’re gone. Uh, how about you two wait near the entrance and me and Hyune will come meet you in like ten minutes. You guys can decide what we do.” He shrugged and started to wave the remaining pair out the door.

Jeongin slapped Jisung’s waving arm away as he walked past, “Yeah yeah, but you’re not allowed to complain about what we decide.”

When the pair of roommates finally met up with their friends, Jeongin had a worryingly mischievous smile on his face while the oldest just looked a bit concerned. “Alright we’ve decided what we’re doing.” He clapped his hands for effect, “We’re going to go get discounted food and drinks.”

Hyunjin and Jisung shared a look of confusion, “What do you mean?” He knew he would probably end up regretting asking but it wasn’t really avoidable at this point.

“Chan and I found a bunch of restaurants and cafes offering deals and some free things for couples on Valentine’s Day- Jisung you agreed to not complaining about what we picked-” Jisung reluctantly shut his mouth, he could already tell this was going to be bad. “Hyunjin and you, obviously, as a couple, then Chan and I as the other.” Jeongin finished off with a grin.

Jisung panicked as he felt his cheeks heating up, “Can’t we just go to the arcade or something?” He felt Hyunjin’s eyes boring into the side of his head, he just hoped it wasn’t because of how red his cheeks were getting.

The schemer huffed and rolled his eyes, “No we’re doing this. Why are you blushing so much? You guys are literally dating.” Jisung’s mind blanked out for a second, struggling to process what his friend said.

“Jisung and I aren’t dating…” Hyunjin said in confusion. Oh. Oh what? Jeongin thought they were dating? Where the fuck did he get that from?

Jeongin slowly looked over at Chan who was rubbing his face with his hands. “Does it really matter? Let’s just stick with the pairs as they are, ok?” It was pretty obvious from Chan’s tone that he didn’t expect an argument, and Jisung certainly wasn’t going to be the one to give him it.

After a few stops at a candy shop(where they’d gotten one of those giant ass lollipops), a cafe for discounted drinks, and a bakery for a cute little strawberry heart shaped pastry, the four friends had settled in a boba shop for discounted drinks. “I told you this was a good idea- and don’t give me that look Jisung. I can tell that you’re loving this.”

To be honest Jisung was actually really enjoying this, he was a bit worried about the faking a relationship thing at first but they literally just had to walk up to the counter and ask for the couple discount or freebie. It’s not like the workers were demanding proof they were together or anything. He just got to walk around town with his friends and eat cheap and free stuff. “I hate to admit it, but this is fun.” Everyone had smiles on their faces as the ‘couples’ shared their drinks. The only downside to the free drink was that it was one drink per couple, but it’s not like he and Hyunjin hadn’t shared a drink before.

“Exactly, I am a genius. Now take a picture of me and Chan. I want to post it and freak everyone out.” He handed his phone to Jisung then wrapped his arm around Chan, forcing the poor guy closer.

“You’re genuinely one of the strangest people I’ve ever met.” Jisung sighed before snapping a couple photos of the smiling pair and handing back the phone.

Jeongin kept the camera open and held it up towards Jisung and Hyunjin’s side of the table, “Great, now your turn. Pose.” He demanded. Jisung gave Hyunjin an unsure look, but the boy just smiled and wrapped his arm around Jisung’s back, holding up a peace sign with his other hand. Jisung wrapped his arm around Hyunjin and smiled. There really wasn’t any harm in taking a couple photos. The pair changed poses a couple times before Jeongin released them. “Wow I should really become a photographer, I’ll send you guys these don’t worry.”

Hyunjin laughed at the youngests eagerness, “We appreciate your talents, we’d never be able to do this without you.” Jeongin pouts at the sarcasm in his voice before carrying on with his rant about how amazing his photography skills are.

-

After Valentine’s Day Jisung felt like he and Hyunjin had gotten even closer. They had become even more attached and Jisung felt like their friendship had never been stronger. If only that wasn’t a problem or Jisung would’ve felt more at ease. His feelings for his roommate were still very present, even more so than before. Sometimes he couldn’t help but shrink back from skinship or compliments that just seemed a bit too flirty to be jokes, even if he wasn’t the one initiating them.

But all in all he was happy. This whole little reflective moment was simply caused by Jisung looking at his lockscreen, one of the pictures from Valentines where he and Hyunjin had put their hands together to form a heart. Yeah that’s how whipped he was “Jisung are you even looking at this? I’m going to tell my mom and she’s going to be all sad.” Seungmin’s voice shook Jisung out of his stupor.

He nodded his head and focused on the page of the scrapbook from his and Seungmin’s childhood. To be honest a lot of these photos were embarrassing- why the fuck did he used to dress the way he did? “I’m struggling to focus when these asshats are cackling in the background.” He shot a glare at Felix and Hyunjin who were also enjoying seeing younger Seungmin and Jisung.

“Nooo, we just think you guys were adorable.” Felix pouts. Jisung grimaces, that’s almost worse.

Hyunjin huffed, “Speak for yourself, I’m laughing because you guys were awkward as hell and it’s hilarious.”

Offended, Jisung slid off the bed. “Fuck you guys. Changbin actually just texted asking if I can bring him the hard drive with some of our drafts on it, so I’ll be back in a couple minutes. Please, don’t feel the need to stop. Please don’t. I don’t need these memories.” He gave an overly happy smile before skipping out of the room, quickly stopping by his own to grab the drive.

Jisung had already delivered the hard drive and was about to leave the studio when his phone buzzed about 50 times in the matter of two seconds. He paused to pull it out, seeing a multitude of messages from Seungmin telling him to stay put for a minute.

After a couple of seconds he finally got a call from his best friend. “You know how my mom started taking your birthday out of the scrapbook after everything happened so it wasn’t upsetting for you to look at?”

“Yeah?? Why?” Jisung was concerned at the tone of his friend's voice, he sounded almost panicked.

There was a bit of shuffling on the other side of the line before he continued, “Well apparently she forgot to take out one page- there were two stuck together but Felix saw it and was able to unstick them- and it was a page with your birthday on it.” Jisung felt his heart sink, this couldn’t be happening. “And it said the date and year and stuff and Felix immediately put together that it was obviously your birthday and- I think Hyunjin figured it out. Or is at least putting it together. Like he didn’t look like he knew but he seemed very deep in thought as I stepped out and I just wanted to let you know.”

Carefully taking a deep breath, Jisung fully stepped back into the studio, shutting the door. “Thanks for letting me know. If he asks where I am or something like that, can you just tell him I last minute decided to stay over at Changbin’s?”

“Yeah of course, I’ll try and tell you anything that happens, I should probably go back inside before they get suspicious.”

“Alright thanks Sueng, bye.” He sighed as he hung up, was there even a point in hiding at this point? He couldn’t stop Hyunjin from knowing and it’s not like he could avoid his roommate for the rest of the semester.

Before he could change his mind, Jisung once again opened the studio door but fully left this time, leaving a very confused Changbin behind him. He was probably still going to stay at Changbin’s, but he should at least go back to pack.

Jisung thought through his situation as he stuffed some clothes in a bag. Basically, he was fucked. He just had to hope Hyunjin wouldn’t hate him after this. On his way to his dorm he’d given Changbin the short version of the story over the phone and the older boy invited him to sleep over, which he happily accepted.

He sighed, dragging his hand down his face. Of course this shit would happen to him. Shouldering his bag, he grabbed the door handle, heart dropping as he opened it to see Hyunjin looking at him. “Oh hey, sorry it’s last minute but I’m going to stay over with Changbin tonight so we can work on some stuff.” He said cheerily, trying to appear normal.

His roommate sighed as he stepped into the dorm, grabbing Jisung’s arm and dragging him over to his desk. “Sit the fuck down.” Hyunjin sounded almost disappointed as he began to rummage through his supplies to grab a marker.

With confusion, Jisung watched as Hyunjin uncapped the marker and scribbled all over his hand. “Wha- oh.” The confusion was replaced with realization as he looked down to his own hand, which was now identically colored front and back with purple marker. He looked up at Hyunjin with horror, opening and closing his mouth with no words coming out.

Hyunjin pulled Jisung out of his desk chair just to push him back down onto his bed. “Why didn’t you tell me we were soulmates Jisung? You really thought I would never find out?”

“Uh…” He had no idea what to say, he ducked his head in shame. “I‘m sorry Hyunjin, really.” He attempted to blink away the tears beginning to spill out. “I just knew how much finding out your soulmate contacted you hurt you and I didn’t want you to hate me, even if it was selfish.”

Sighing, Hyunjin reached out and grabbed Jisung’s hand, “No you’re right. I’m sorry I must’ve made you feel like shit. Fuck- I talked all about how I didn’t want my soulmate and then got mad at you for distancing yourself when you were just trying to-” He was cut off by tears of his own streaming down his face. “I’m the sorry one Jisung, you deserve so much better.”

Jisung urgently waved his one free hand, “No, like I said I completely understand your views and it’s not your fault at all. I totally get it if you want me to give you space or just pretend this never happened or whatever makes you most comfortable.” He was desperately hoping Hyunjin would still want to at least remain friends. The thought of losing him was terrifying.

“Ji, the last thing I want is to lose you. Shit- you occupy half my mind and have basically since we met.” The boy paused, eyes flitting around nervously before finally continuing, “This might sound stupid but I really, really like you. Romantically.” Hyunjin squeezed Jisung’s hand with a small smile.

Nothing had ever felt more unsure as Jisung’s brain did somersaults trying to understand Hyunjin’s words, “You don’t need to lie to me, it’s really ok I know I’m not really special or anything. You truly deserve someone that’s the best of the best, like you.” He did his best to smile even though it felt like someone was slowly and painfully carving out his heart from his chest.

Hyunjin’s smile quickly turned to a frown at his words, “Stop. Don’t say that. I want to be with you, I’ve wanted to for months. And you are the best of the best. You’re artistic, and smart, and thoughtful, and pretty, and just one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met.” The raven haired boy gazed directly into Jisung’s eyes as he spoke.

Jisung took 5 seconds to close his eyes and breath and process his thoughts before continuing, “Are you serious? If you’re not, this really isn’t funny.” There’s no way he had subjected himself to all this self hate and pain when Hyunjin liked him the whole time.

Seeing the pain in Hyunjin’s eyes made him want to take his doubts back, but it was too late now, “Think about it, the shitty comments about Changbin being your boyfriend, how mad I was when you iced me out after spilling my whole thing with soulmates to you. I really am sorry but it hurt a lot thinking the person you’ve been infatuated with since meeting hated you. I want to be with you so much Ji, really.” Hyunjin had moved closer to Jisung, clutching his hands.

Warmth slowly spread over Jisung at his soulmate's words, “If you’re really sure, I’m sure you know this by now, but I really want to be with you too.”

His heart did backflips as Hyunjin’s hands came up to cradle his cheeks, wiping away the stray tears. “I kind of did, but it’s also good to have confirmation,” He laughed lightly, now so close Jisung could feel his breath on his face, “Can I kiss you?”

The warmth now swelled up in Jisung’s heart, this was real, the boy he loved wanted to kiss him, “Please,” He breathed out, eyes filled with awe as Hyunjin leaned in the last distance, then flitting closed as he felt soft lips meet his own.

Hyunjin led the kiss gently, and Jisung couldn’t help but sigh happily into the kiss as he was tugged in closer. Once he ran out of breath he slowly pulled away, leading to a disappointed hum from the other boy.

He sat there for a few seconds, regaining his breath before wrapping his arms around Hyunjin’s neck and pulling him in again. The kissing quickly became more desperate as the boys minimized the space between their bodies. They’d both gone through so much pain and self doubt just for this moment, and Jisung felt as if he were going crazy.

When the boys finally pulled apart, Hyunjin couldn’t seem to help but laugh giddily as Jisung fell back against the wall, “Fuck I like you so much.” He flopped forward to lie fully on Jisung’s bed, tugging the younger on top of him and squeezing him into a hug.

Jisung flailed in his grasp, “I can’t breathe, I’m going to die here.” He choked and Hyunjin finally loosened his grasp.

The pair settled in the bed side by side, both gazing at each other with soft smiles, “Jisung. You should be my boyfriend,”

“I think I should too.” A giddy grin took over his face and both of them couldn’t help but laugh happily.

They definitely still had a lot to talk about, and there was going to have to be some healing on both sides. But in this moment, everything felt perfect, and Jisung was sure they’d be able to work through everything.

-

“Hey Jisung, can you come grab a few of these bags,” Jisung immediately hopped up from his place on the couch, relieving Seungmin of some of the weight he carried in his arms.

Looking through the bags, he realized they’d bought enough to feed a small army, “Bro why did we get so much, there’s no way we’re going to be able to finish everything.”

Seungmin turned at him with an exasperated expression, “Jisung. 6 more college students will be entering this apartment in the next hour, half this food will be gone in 30 minutes. Like have you met Chan, the man is going to inhale half this food in a minute and then it’ll immediately turn to muscle.”

Jisung wheezed, almost dropping the chip bag he was placing on the counter, “I guess you’re right. This isn’t even our apartment. I can't believe we got put in charge.”

The pair had been stationed in Minho’s apartment because it was the most spacious. Minho himself was still in a late class so he had assigned the two to get everything for their groups hang out. “Cause he enjoys bullying us, his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s best friend, the most.” Seungmin sarcastically fluttered his eyelids at Jisung who snorted.

A ding sounded from Jisung’s phone. He struggled as he searched both pants pockets before realizing it was in his hoodie, “Jeongin says he and Minho just parked here.” He stuffed his phone back in his pocket, continuing to observe the different alcoholic drinks they’d got. “How and why did you get this much alcohol? Are we making cocktails or something?”

Seungmin scoffed from where he was stuffing something into the oven, “Minho gave me the list and he knows a cashier at the store I got this all from. It was all prepaid so I just gave his name and the guy handed everything over.” Minho has a scary amount of connections, Jiusng would have to keep that in mind. You never know when Jisung might need something.

The door clicked open and the two friends turned to see Jeongin and Minho strolling in, “Hey baby, did all the shopping go okay?” As expected, Minho immediately greeted Seungmin, walking over to plant a peck on his lips. Minho might ‘bully’ Seungmin from time to time but it was impossible to forget how disgustingly in love the pair was.

Jeongin looked at Jisung and fake gagged, causing both boys to giggle. “Yeah everything went fine. We’re really just waiting on the other 4 at this point.” Seungmin shot them a dirty look out of the corner of his eye, only causing more laughs.

Completely ignoring the laughing, Minho pulled out his phone, “Chan and Changbin should be here in a few, Jisung it’s your responsibility to keep track of your weird lanky boyfriend and Felix.”

Rolling his eyes playfully at Minho’s description, Jisung recounted what Hyunjin had told him earlier, “We’ve been dating for two months, have you really not come up with a better nickname? And they should be here in 10 minutes or so too.”

Completely ignoring the first half of what Jisung said, Minho rubbed his hands together with a scary glint in his eyes, “We have ten minutes to plot their death, does anyone happen to have arsenic?”

Jisung exchanged a tired look with Jeongin as Seungmin hit his boyfriend's arm, “No death threats till after everyone gets here please. Ji and I did not buy this much food just for you to make it inedible.” Seungmin smiled as he moved to pull the frozen pizza out of the oven.

“Fucking move Chan we know this is Minho’s apartment we don’t need to knock.” There was a sound of stumbling outside the door before Changbin burst in, Chan clinging onto his arm with a distressed look. “Hey,” He said out of breath from what seemed like the tussle outside the door.

The boys already inside laughed at their ruffled appearances, “Did you guys just get back from a wrestling match?” Jeongin questioned with fake curiosity, tilting his head.

Changbin pettily smacked Chan’s arm away from him, “This guy was so insistent that we should knock. The door wasn’t even fully closed but when I went to just open it the asshole went and almost pinned me to the floor.” There was an air of bewilderment as Changbin eyed Chan, stepping away from the door to stand besides Jisung.

Everyone’s eyes landed on Chan as the oldest of the group flushed red, “It’s rude not to knock, and there’s always the chance we went to the wrong apartment.” He muttered with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Channie you’ve been here more than anyone else besides Seungmin, how do you not have the number memorized?” Minho deadpanned as everyone else began to laugh uncontrollably.

Jisung pointed at Chan as he clung onto Changbin for support, “Chan doesn’t know how to read.” The joke didn’t make much sense, but the ridiculousness of the situation made everyone’s laughter more intense, Jeongin gasping for air besides him. Even Chan himself had begun to laugh, even though it looked more like it was in disappointment.

“Ohh, that’s why you always put in a special request to have your room at the end of the hallway, it’s because that’s the only way you can identify it!” Changbin choked out before nearly toppling on top of Jisung.

As the group fell into a somehow even bigger state of laughter, Hyunjin and Felix chose that moment to walk through the door, although not getting very far since Chan was still standing there shaking in laughter. “Yo. What the fuck.” Felix looked concerned as the pair sidestepped Chan.

“Chan can’t count!” Jeongin said helpfully before fully falling onto the floor in laughter.

Changbin leaned forward at the force of his laughter, only to follow in Jeongin’s footsteps and collapse to the floor, bringing Jisung down with him.

After a few minutes of the group cackling while Felix and Hyunjin stood in the middle of the room in confusion, everyone was finally able to calm down.

After lying on the floor for a few minutes to catch his breath, Jisung felt collected again, “Ok now Changbin, get the fuck off.” Jisung shoved the older boy off his legs where he had fallen and scampered to the couch beside Jeongin.

“Does anyone want to fill us in on what that was?” Hyunjin lamented with a look of despair.

A chorus of “No” echoed around the room and the pair finally gave up, going to the fridge to get drinks.

“So, Jeongin. Back to the discussion that you're very obviously like Minho, I feel like this situation is a good example of this. Your sarcasm just screams Minho.” For the past month Jisung has been trying to convince the boy that he and Minho were basically the same person, but Jeongin always did what he was currently doing, looking at Jisung in disgust.

The youngest of the group got up from the couch, “No. Wrong. Don’t compare me to my brother, that's every sibling's worst nightmare.” He scoffed before setting his eyes on Chan and lumbering over to lay himself over the oldeset’s lap.

Abandoned, Jisung laid back on the back of the couch, closing his eyes with a sigh. His loneliness was short-lived as arms wrapped around his shoulders from behind, “Hi baby,” Hyunjin softly greeted, tucking his head into Jisung’s neck.

With a pout, he tugged on his boyfriend’s hoodie clad arm, “Come sit next to me, I’m lonely.”

Hyunjin clumsily climbed over the back of the couch, flopping into Jisung’s lap with an “oof.” After waiting for the boy to prop himself up, Jisung latched onto him, dragging him into his side.

“How were your classes?” Jisung melted into the warmth of his boyfriend as the older positioned his arm around his shoulders, making them as comfortable as possible.

With the small space he had, Hyunjin shrugged, “As boring as always. My last lecture was even worse than usual. I’m exhausted.”

Jisung frowned, making his grip on the other impossibly tighter. “I hate your stupid professor, that class tires you out more than any of your others. We can leave and go cuddle at ours and watch a movie or something if you want.” Jisung was a bit worn out himself really, he’d stayed up late last night working on some lyrics he just couldn’t get right then had to get up early for a morning class.

“Maybe in a bit, but I want to at least see everyone first.” Hyunjin yawned, carding his fingers through Jisung’s hair.

-

The pair did end up leaving early, only after getting their fill of pizza. Jisung knew they’d be missing out on drinking and games, but he’d much rather just curl up with Hyunjin and make sure the older one got enough rest. Not like he could drink with his medication anyways.

Both boys were tucked under the covers, Hyunjin already fast asleep with his arms around Jisung. They’d just finished watching ‘Howl’s Moving Castle’ for the hundredth time while munching on cookies.

Softly, Jisung removed Hyunjin’s arms and crawled out of bed, carefully grabbing his laptop and the empty cookie package and putting both in their proper places. He grabbed his lyric book with a sigh, there were still some lyrics he wanted to edit for an upcoming assignment.

Just as he had sat down at his desk and flipped open the book, the sound of blankets rustling got his attention, “Sung, Sungieeee, come back.” Hyunjin was now sitting up with a drowsy frown. Jisung had to stop himself from cooing at the sight.

“I need to finish up this assignment babe, you don’t need to wait for me just go back to sleep.” He smiled at how cute the boy looked, his hair was sticking out in a couple places, but it did nothing but add to his cuteness.

Reluctantly, Hyunjin lifted the blankets up off his legs, “I’m not going back to sleep until you come back with me.” He protested. A sleepy Hyunjin was an extra clingy Hyunjin, extra clingy and extra loving, if that was even possible.

Shaking his head, Jisung grabbed his book and crawled back into bed. “Ok, I’m here. Now get the sleep you need please.” He gently flicked the side of his Hyunjin’s head before pulling the blanket up to fully cover his boyfriend.

He probably wasn’t going to be able to focus as much in bed, but it’s not like he had too much left to write anyways. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Hyunjin glaring at him and he turned, “What?”

“I meant come back to sleep, put the lyrics away.”

This boy was going to be the end of him, “It’s not even going to take that long, I promise.”

Hyunjin eyed him warily, “I know you don’t even have that class again till next week. There’s no reason you should be writing instead of loving your boyfriend.” He whined, pout so prominent it was audible in his voice.

“You’re lucky I love you.” Jisung sighed as he put down his book and pencil next to his bed, finally slipping all the way underneath the covers. Turning to face the ravenhead, he leaned forward to give him a short but sweet kiss.

Hyunjin’s face lit up as he rewrapped his arms around Jisung’s middle, “I love you moreee, I love you, I love youuu.” Hyunjin nosed his jaw as he spoke, making Jisung’s heart melt.

It was moments like these when all Jisung’s worries washed away.

Even after all the shit the pair had to go through to go through, they’re together now. They’re together and Jisung couldn’t imagine being any happier.

He couldn’t ask for anything more than holding Hyunjin in his arms as they whispered sweet nothings to each other before drifiting off to sleep, soft smiles painting both their faces.