Chapter Text
Kallus shivered lightly, rubbing his arms in hopes to help warm himself, but nothing seemed to work. He had tried putting his hands in his pockets, bringing his knees to his chest, rubbing his hands together, but nothing worked.
‘Why of all times for there to be a power outage did it have be now?’
They were stuck on a cold planet, which cold planet Kallus couldn’t remember, imagining little ice cubes where his brain should be. He shivered again then noticed his breath. He felt mildly amused, but mostly annoyed that it was cold enough that he could even see his own breath.
“It’s cold.”
“Ezra, if I hear you say that once more, I’m going to throw you out the ship myself”
“Zeb!”
Zeb shrunk back slightly as Hera raised her voice. He flattened his ears and shivered, glaring at the wall. Kanan wrapped an arm around Hera and pulled her closer, letting her lean against his chest.
Kallus stared, watching as the little family huddled together in the main room. They were all on the floor, everyone taking up their own respective place. But of course, Kanan and Hera shared, that was to be expected. Out of all of them, she was wearing the thinnest thing possible.
And Kallus was wearing a thick jacket and had no right to say he was cold. She shivered again, a slight flush on her nose and cheeks. His heart reached out to her, and he sighed, knowing he was going to regret his decision.
He stood up and shrugged his jacket off, then walked over to her. He reached out with his jacket and draped it over her, covering her arms. Hera stared up at him and immediately began pushing it back to him.
“You need it more than I do General.”
He walked off and sat back in his corner, trying his hardest to not let the others know how cold he now was. He heard someone shuffle and looked over. He smiled as Hera snuggled into the jacket, sharing it with Kanan as she finally began getting warmer. The little flush was still there, but at least her lips no longer looked blue.
Sabine moved, then proceeded to sneeze into her shoulder, shivering violently. Kallus stood up and quickly left the room, returning not long later with all the blankets he could find, which unfortunately was only 3. And to make it worse, they weren’t particularly large blankets either, but they would have to do.
The others noticed and Kallus internally smiled as their eyes lit up. He handed one to Sabine, who shared with Ezra, one to Zeb, and the last to Kanan and Hera. It didn’t take long for the others to silently decide to snuggle together.
Subtly Ezra and Sabine moved closer to Kana, who eagerly pulled them closer. Their combined body heat making Sabine sigh in contempt. Zeb internally debated before he too succumbed to the temptation.
Before long, they were all cuddled into one corner, blankets shared and gripped like a lifeline as they slowly began warming. And Kallus, well Kallus kept quiet in the corner.
He didn’t want to intrude on their family, and after everything he had done to hurt them, he deserved this punishment, and much more. So he stayed quiet as he silently shivered, hugging his arms to his chest.
Did he feel a pang to the heart when he heard the others laugh quietly? Perhaps. Did he want to cry? No, definitely not. He could do this, he had survived worse, and it was only a little cold. He could live with the cold. Or so he told himself anyway.
He was going to forever deny that he felt left out, because that was their family, not his. He didn’t deserve their family anyway. He was an Imp, whether he defected or not, he still tried to kill them. He wasn’t about to complain about the cold.
But after 10 minutes of no one saying anything to him, not even casting a glance, he left, quietly excusing himself.
He didn’t notice Zeb’s worried look, or how Sabine tracked him, or when Hera went to give him his jacket back. And unfortunately, he didn’t hear as Kanan called his name, asking if he wanted to join.
Because the voice in his head told him everything he needed to believe. That they didn’t care. And why would they?
Why should it be any different to last time?
(-)
“Of course General.”
“Oh for the last time Kallus, it’s Hera. You can stop with the formalities.”
Kallus went to reply but Zeb laughed, nudging him on the shoulder gently. They turned and headed towards the ship, smiling. The men on the ship on the other hand were not smiling, they were far from happy.
.
“Why did we have to be partnered with him?”
“I would have gladly taken anybody else, but an Imp? Yeah, I’ll pass.”
“C’mon guys, he’s not an Imp. But I agree, I don’t like him either. He struts around like he owns this kriffing base. The only reason why he was given his rank is because of his personal, relations to Captain Orrelios.”
They laughed as they walked off, joking with one another, either completely unaware or ignoring the fact that Kallus was in the room.
The comments hurt, more than they should. He didn’t strut like he owned the place, he felt as though he didn’t belong. He only feigned his confidence, because, in actual fact, he would have cried if anyone so much as looked at him. He got glares, rumours said about him, slurs behind his back, sometimes even straight to his face. But not once did anyone make a statement about his relationship with Zeb.
He felt tears pool in the corner of his eyes. But he shook them off, swallowing around the lump in his throat, ignoring his want to just curl up and cry. He was better than that! He wasn’t about to let one person’s comment get to him, no matter how much it hurt.
.
The ship was dead, the power gone, and the heater no longer working. Kallus shivered in the corner, watching as Zeb and the others were sitting together, laughing at something. He looked away when Jack nearly met his gaze, but it was too late.
“What?”
Kallus blinked, mouth opening to respond.
“I-”
“Well? Do you want to say something?”
“No, I was just-”
“Good. Then stop staring.”
They laughed, and what hurt more was Zeb laughing as well. Kallus swallowed and sniffled, wiping at his nose.
“Oh I think he’s going to cry.”
They burst out in hysterical laughter, and Kallus gritted his teeth, biting his tongue. He was bigger than them, their words meant nothing to him. he shivered again and rubbed his arms, pulling his legs closer to himself. He heard Zeb leave, no doubt going to the ‘fresher or to check the ship's engine. Although that would have been useless.
“Oi, Mister I’m ISB! Go get us some blankets.”
Kallus had had enough. He ignored them and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the memories flashing in his mind.
‘I’m no longer Agent Kallus. I no longer have anything to do with the IBS or the Empire. I’m no longer Agent Kallus. I no-”
He was ripped from his thoughts as Luke gripped the front of his shirt, pulling him up. Kallus yelped at the sudden motion and stared up at Luke, leaning as far away as possible.
“Didn’t you hear us Imp? I said go get us some blankets!”
Kallus didn’t respond, angering Luke further.
“Do I before I make you!”
He was playing a dangerous game, he knew he was, but Kallus was as stubborn as he was stupid.
“What are you going to do?”
Luke snarled, not enjoying being toyed with.
“Do what we say before I kill you myself. I’ll beat you until your bones snap, then I’ll break your neck.”
He let Kallus go and he slumped to the ground. Kallus panted lightly then creased his brow, no longer wanting to deal with this.
He rose to his full height, a good foot or two over Luke. He grabbed Luke by the shirt and pulled him closer, ignoring the protests from the others.
“Listen Luke, I’m not an Imp, and I’m no longer apart of the ISB. And I don’t take orders from you. If you want something done, so it yourself, don’t just bully others to get it done for you.”
Luke snarled then spat in his face. Kallus closed his eyes and turned away, reaching up to flick the spit off his face. He faced Luke and balled his hand into a fist, lifting it up, ready to strike.
Zeb suddenly grabbed his fist and pulled him back, causing Kallus to let go of Luke, who in turn fell onto the ground.
“What were you doing?!”
Luke smirked, deciding to really muck with Kallus.
“He was going to hit me! He, he dragged me from the others and began threatening me, spitting in my face and everything!”
Kallus snapped his head over to him and went to say something when Zeb cut him out.
“What? Kallus!”
Kallus turned back to defend himself but didn’t get a chance.
“He said that he was going to beat until my bones snapped, then he was going to break my neck.”
“I did not! You-”
Zeb slapped Kallus across the cheek, causing him to fall to the ground. Zeb’s ears were laid flat, and he snarled down at him.
Kallus froze, his mind reeling. Zeb had just hit him. He stared at the floor, unable to move, unable to think.
Kallus sat up and stared at Zeb, a hand covering his now bruising cheek. Tears gathered in his eyes as Zeb’s eyes held no remorse, and he looked away, unable to keep the gaze.
“You’re lucky I care for you Kallus, or else this would have ended very differently.”
Zeb’s tone made Kallus flinch into himself. He couldn’t meet Zeb’s gaze, couldn’t bring himself to see those green eyes, the same eyes that had promised no harm. He felt sick.
“Get out of my sight.”
And Kallus did, he left without a word, still holding his cheek.
.
Zeb ordered him around, ignoring the guilt churning in his gut at the sight of Kallus’ bruised cheek and black eye, the injury he himself had caused. The guilt only intensifies, Kallus flinching whenever Zeb reaches a hand out anywhere near him. Kallus immediately tenses, hides in on himself, and subtly turns his head away, trying to avoid any more bruises.
.
The temperature steadily drops, and he’s not allowed near the others, Luke saying ‘I don’t feel safe around someone who threatened to kill me’. Kallus shivers again, curled in on himself, trying to help warm himself up.
“Go get us some blankets.”
“Chop, chop.”
Kallus does. He gets them all the blankets he can find, and all the heating pads, too afraid to find out what would happen if he doesn’t. He answers to all their complaints, having been told ‘it’s the least you can do after the incident’.
He returns with the blankets, and they’re quickly snatched away from him. Kai turns back around and hands Kallus a note, laughing as he joins his friends, leaving him with nothing to keep warm as the others walk off, going to get warm, leaving him there.
Kallus sighs and fiddles with the note, looking down at it. He knows he’s going to regret reading it, but what else could be done to make him feel worse?
“Sorry dude, you were taking too long so we went somewhere warmer and better. Don’t bother looking for us, you’ll just spoil the mood and we’re having a lot of fun without an Imp here, go freeze on your own”
-Kai
.
Kallus heads to his quarters, only to discover he’s been locked out. He tries again and again, with no luck. So he leans against the door and sighs, going to find a warmer place.
.
There is no other warm place on the ship, everywhere is cold, absolutely frozen. He curls up in the warmest corner he can find and shivers violently, the cold metal doing nothing to help.
The tears finally start to fall. After days of constant abuse, he cries. Kallus cries, he finally releases every emotion he feels, pain, sorrow, regret, anger, betrayal. Kallus cries as he hears the slurs in his head cries as his cheeks throbs, cries as every promise Zeb had made, shattered right then.
He passes out not long after, either from the cold or from how hard he was crying, but the blanket of black was the only thing that made him feel welcomed on this ship.
.
“That was the best plan you’ve ever come up with!”
Zeb stops short of the door and leans in, listening quietly.
“I know!”
“You know what made it better?”
They burst out laughing, continuing to praise themselves. Zeb shifts so he can hear better, an ear pressed to the door.
“What?”
“Was when you altered the story. Completely!”
‘Altered the story? What are they going on about?’
“But when the Captain punched him! Amazing! I’m just sad I couldn’t do it first. I would love to coat that Imp’s body in bruises, hear him scream in pain as we break his fingers.”
“Yeah. Sure is a shame. Oh well, he got he deserved. We told him what would happen, told him he’d get hurt.”
“Yeah we did tell him.”
Zeb breathed deeply, the puzzle slowly piecing itself together.
“I would have liked to break his neck. What was it you said again?”
“I believe it was, ‘Do what we say before I kill you myself. I’ll beat you until your bones snap, then I’ll break your neck.’”
Zeb’s stomach dropped. What had he done?
.
He bolted through the ship, trying to find him, looking everywhere. Zeb reached Kallus’ quarters and tried to open it, finding it locked. He knocked on the door, but he got no reply, he couldn’t hear any sounds coming from the room either.
He walked down the corridors, searching everywhere. It was so cold, who was to say what had happened to him?
.
“Kallus? Kallus answer me dammit!”
Zeb stumbled and caught himself, looking down to kick at the stay wire. But it wasn’t a wire, it wasn’t even a part of the ship.
“Kallus!”
Zeb dropped to his knees reaching out but not knowing what to do. He was sprawled on the floor, barely breathing, skin so pale and lips so blue. Zeb placed a hand on Kallus’ arm, shaking him lightly, hoping for a response, but he never got one.
He grabbed Kallus and pulled him close, terrified at how cold he felt against his fur. Why didn’t he have a blanket, and why wasn’t he shivering?
“Karabast! Kallus! Wake up!”
Kallus didn’t stir, just stayed limp in Zeb’s arms, too deep in hypothermia to wake. If they didn’t get him warm soon, he would surely die.
“What have I done?”
.
Zeb stared at Kallus. He looked so small, so pale in the medical bed. It had been a week since Zeb had gotten him warm, but he still hadn’t woken. The medics weren’t hopeful. He was so close to stage IV hypothermia; it was amazing he had managed to live this long.
It took hours to warm him up again. They used everything, from blankets to heat pads, even warm saline, but nothing helped. The only time when Kallus slowly began to warm was when Zeb cuddled him in the bed.
Tears fell from his eyes. He was so scared, Kallus might never wake up, and if he ever did, the chances of there being permanent brain damage were too high. Kallus would never be Kallus again, this amazing, fun-loving, giving, compassionate, loving man may never return.
And there was nothing that could be done, they could only hope, pray that something would happen.
(-)
Kallus gripped his hair as tears fell from his eyes. He locked himself away in his room, the memories, still too vivid, still there. He had nearly died.
Lights flashed before his eyes, and he muffled his cries, falling against his door, slipping to the floor. He shook with silent sobs as the slurs bombarded his memory, the threats all too real.
The cold pierced his skin, the dark room morphing the shadows into Kai, looming over him, laughing at him.
‘Make it stop, make it stop!’
“Please.”