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Rory sat in the airport lounge with a glass of whisky in his hand waiting for his flight to board. He wasn’t looking forward to the long trip home which would seem longer for the nearly unbelievable news he had. He wanted to wait to see the look on Hamish’s face, but he didn’t think he could sit on something this big for the twenty-five hours it would take him to get back to Scotland. In the end, his inability not to spill beat his desire to spill in person. He called Hamish.
“No, no – I’m not at all busy tryna run my business an’ support my family. I ha’e plenty o’ time tae talk tae globetrotting layabouts.” It seemed Hamish had finally learned to use the caller ID.
Rory grunted. “Okay, fine. I was calling to offer my condolences, but it can wait. I won’t be home until the weekend because I have business in Edinbra until Friday, though. But sorry to have bothered ye.”
“Wait – condolences? Fer what? Where are ye? I thought ye flew back a couple o’ days ago?”
“It occurred to me that Indonesia wasn’t all that far from New Zealand, so I popped in for a wee visit with Mad. They made me a man of Laketown yesterday.”
He knew Hamish could hear the grin in his voice when he delivered that tidbit. “Ye bastard,” he said with a gruff laugh. “That’s what the condolences are about, I’m guessing.”
“Oh hell no. Ye got to do Robin Hood while I was in South Africa – this is just me getting even. I’m condoling ye on the loss of Scarlett Johansson.”
“All right, now ye’ve lost me. Any way we could speed things up a bit? I’ve got a pub tae run.”
Rory laughed. “Okay, okay. Simply put, ye’re never getting Scarlett Johansson because yer wife is never getting the Sherwood Stud, because if he ever hooks up with a Drummond, it won’t be Morag.”
“Ye met hi- Oh my god, he’s gay? Shut the fuck up! He took a fancy to you?”
“Um, no. Try again, Sherlock.”
“But ye just said he- Wait. He fancies Mairead?”
“Aye. And that’s not all.”
“Oh?”
Rory paused briefly for maximum dramatic effect. “She fancies him.”
For a moment, Hamish said nothing as he processed the news. “Och, ye’re full of shite, Rory. She doesnae date actors.”
“I didn’t say she was dating him, I said she fancied him.”
“She told ye this?”
“No, of course not! For one thing, she would never and for another, I don’t think she even realizes it. In fact, I’m sure she doesn’t.”
“Then how do you know, ye knob? And try to spell it out for me, would ye? I’ve got tap lines to clean.”
“Pish in yer porridge this morning? Fine,” Rory sighed. “Ye’re no fun anymore, old man, ye know that? Mad and I went out to a pub Saturday night. I had a few too many and didn’t realize until it was too late that she’d been trying to keep up with me. So I cut her off, made sure she drank some water, and then we started walking back to her place, but we got into an argument an-“
“Ye mean she had a go at ye about Allison, right? Go on.”
“Shut up, dick. ANYWAY, we’re in each other’s’ faces and I guess it got pretty loud when out of nowhere he shows up and hauls her off her feet and tells her to keep it down or someone will call the polis.”
Hamish was less than impressed. “Okay, and…?”
“She let him, Hamish. When was the last time ye saw her let anyone touch her that she didn’t want to?”
“Okay, I’ll grant ye that’s unusual, but it doesnae mean she fancies him.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, did I say that was all? She, of course, wouldn’t shut up, so he actually shoved his hand over her mouth. I was sure when he let her go she’d start up again, but she didn’t. Hamish, I swear to ye, she was actually quiet. And that was before he threw her over his shoulder.”
“Excuse me?”
“Oh yeah. He told her to get in the car or he’d throw her over his shoulder and carry her. She said he wouldn’t dare and he followed through.”
Hamish laughed. “Well, he’s either brave or stupid. But she knows how tae get out o’ that. Did she hurt him much?”
“Hamish, she didn’t hurt him at all.”
“WHAT?”
“She barely even tried. She kicked a couple of times, but not with any force and he just shifted her legs so her feet weren’t near his balls. She flailed around a bit to try to hit him, but she didn’t even really connect.”
“Well okay, but ye said she was drunk…”
“Oh come on, Hamish. We’ve both seen her avoid guys trying to have it on with her when she was a lot drunker and they were a lot bigger. She didn’t want to get away. Oh yeah, and then she grabbed his arse,” he added conversationally.
“AW, YE FUCKIN’ LIAR, NOW YE’RE MAKIN’ SHITE UP!”
Rory couldn’t help but laugh. “No, I swear…” he said, as he tried to catch his breath. “She said she was doing it for Morag, and maybe she was in the beginning, but I swear to ye…she liked it.”
“What did he do?”
“Dropped her like a sack of tatties, yelled at her and told her to get in the car and sit where he could keep an eye on her.”
“And…?”
“And she did it. Quietly.”
“I swear tae god, Rory, if ye’re just winding me up…”
“I’m not, man, I swear. To be honest, I don’t think I could make this up if I tried. I don’t blame ye for not believing me – if I hadn’t seen it, I wouldn’t believe it myself.”
“And here’s me believing ye now. Stop sounding so sincere, dammit, this is freaking me out.”
“So ye don’t want to hear the rest, then?”
“There’s more?” Hamish asked, with a distinct note of alarm in his voice.
“Oh, aye. Like the part about her moaning his name in her sleep, and before ye call me a liar again, don’t. I got up to use the loo in the middle of the night and heard her.”
“Jesus.”
“Yeah, and the next morning she was all worried that he could get her fired for sexual harassment, especially since it was the second time she’d assaulted him. Seems she was having a panic attack a few months ago and he misguidedly took her by the shoulders and told her to calm down. She said all she wanted was to get him the fuck off of her so she double tapped him. Only, she didn’t have any idea how strong he might be, so she double tapped him way harder than she needed to. She says there’s no way he didn’t have bruises after.”
“So in the space of a few months, she goes from using force tae get him off o’ her…”
“…to letting him pretty much invade all of her personal space in some pretty unusual ways, yeah.”
“Do ye think he will get her fired?”
“Oh hell no. He wasn’t even mad, really, she just thought he might be. Actually, if I had to guess, I’d say he rather liked it. He even bought food and brought it over and cooked it for us the next morning because neither of us were in any shape to do it.”
“Okay, so he’s a nice guy. Doesnae mean he fancies her.”
“Hamish, I’ve seen the way he looks at her when he thinks she doesn’t know. It’s the same way ye look at Morag.”
“And the same way you look at Allison, yeah?”
“Shut up, ye manky git. We’re not talking about me, we’re talking about our sister.”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s all the same – you’re both stubborn arseholes.”
“We take after our big brother. My point is, I’ve never seen her like this before and I’ve certainly never seen anyone with any kind of clue how to handle her.”
“No, nor me.” Hamish took a deep breath and then blew it out slowly. “Okay, so obviously, he’s a decent enough bloke, but do ye think he’s…I mean, he cannae have any idea what he’d be getting intae. Or do ye think he willnae even try?”
“I don’t know, man. I really don’t. I just know he’s got it bad and she’s let him get closer than anyone I’ve seen in a very long time. They have dinner together almost every Sunday night, by the way – at her place. I’m kinda pulling for him, to be honest.”
Hamish laughed. “So everyone in this damn family, including you now, is in love wi’ him, yeah?”
“Piss off,” Rory said with a laugh. “But hey, probably best not to tell your wife. If she got wind of it, she’d be on the first flight down here to see for herself, and I think the longer Mad stays in the dark about it, the better chance the pretty actor has, yeah?”
“Aye,” Hamish agreed. “Though I will pray tae every deity ever that I’m around tae see Morag’s face when she finds out.”
Rory chuckled. “Just think how much fun it’ll be knowing when she doesn’t. Hey, they’re calling my flight so I need to go.”
“Safe flight, and call me when ye land, brither.”
“Will do, man. And Hamish? I’m truly sorry about Scarlett.”
With a laugh, he ended the call and went to board his flight.