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As the cool, heavy water filled by his feet, rising up to his neck, much like the water, his memories came flooding back.
The first time they met, their first mission side-by-side, the formation of soukoku , the bickering back and forth, each time his ability was turned off in order to save him from losing himself completely…
Each and every moment Chuuya and Dazai shared, returned to him in an instant.
He didn’t remember much earlier, he only knew the orders he was given.
Now that he thought of it, he didn’t remember anything from the moment he noticed Akutagawa approaching him with blackened eyes, fangs glistening in the dim light of the Port Mafia headquarters.
Why was that?
Chuuya looked down bleakly at the water level as it continued to rise, the sound of it filling the room as well as Fyodor’s grunts and shouts of disapproval were drowned out by Chuuya’s mind as he continued to recollect all of his memories with Dazai.
He couldn’t help but wonder, why was he thinking of him at a time like this?
These would be his final moments, correct? But in the weight of the water, all Chuuya could feel was the softness of Dazai’s hand intertwined with his own, from the very first time they worked together.
He cursed under his breath, his usual outfit becoming soaked as the water was now up to his chest. He didn’t recognize his surroundings, he had no idea why he was beside Fyodor, and here he was, thinking about Dazai of all people…
How far had he fallen from grace?
The Fallen Angel, Chuuya Nakahara, was entirely helpless.
Whatever this water was, he couldn’t move. He couldn’t activate his ability. He was… stuck.
So, this was how he’d die.
He always figured Dazai would be the one to kill him, or he’d be the one to kill Dazai.
No… he was thinking about him again…
What the hell was wrong with him?
Just as Chuuya was up to the ceiling, fighting for his life, a familiar voice broke through his thoughts.
The man of the hour, Osamu Dazai himself.
“Chuuya,” Dazai’s voice over the loudspeaker was soft and solemn, Chuuya only heard this tone when he was completely serious, “This is farewell to you too.”
Chuuya tried even harder to float, to keep his ears above water in order to hear just what else Dazai was going to say, because of course , he wasn’t going to leave it at that. Chuuya was gritting his teeth as he struggled against the weight of the water.
How ironic. Chuuya of all people, fighting with weight. The one thing he could control.
He couldn’t control all of the people who left him. He couldn’t control Dazai when he abandoned the Port Mafia, abandoned him .
Chuuya felt a lump forming in his throat, a sour taste filling his mouth as he remembered the way Dazai disappeared, as if their time together meant nothing .
Chuuya was utterly helpless at this moment.
“It’s a shame things turned out like this,” Dazai’s sly tone returned as he continued, piquing Chuuya’s bleak interest, “Seven years since we met, and we’ve done nothing but quarrel with each other.”
Chuuya felt tears pricking his eyes, it had been so long since he cried.
Why… Why now?
“But…” Dazai was quieter now, the confidence in his earlier statements gone completely, “Now that I think about it, there were some moments where we did connect. Like that time–”
Dazai cut himself off, pausing as he released a breath into the loudspeaker.
The brunette’s lazy eyes stared into the monitor. He felt something inside him diminishing at the sight.
His time was up.
“Sorry, there weren’t any!” Dazai cheerfully squealed, his false smile in full effect, reminding him of his days in the Port Mafia, “Well then, goodbye~”
All that Dazai could see was a hat, floating at the top of the water.
Chuuya was gone. His vision was black. The last thing he heard was Dazai recounting their moments together.
The last thing that Chuuya Nakahara heard in his cruel time on earth, was the sound of his beloved’s voice.
The man he’d never be able to love. The man he spent years of his life hating because he was abandoned.
The one person who he felt was a light at the end of the tunnel.
His light.
But he was never actually his , was he?
Osamu Dazai had won their forever-lasting duel.
Chuuya Nakahara breathed his last breath with only one thing on his mind, only one voice in his head, only one man in his heart.
If he was gonna go out, at least he could go out with a smile.
Thank you, Osamu. For giving me a reason to keep going.