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" His heart doesn't belong to you"
Nothing hurt Charles as much as when he started to believe these words.
James was raising his hips up and down, fucking himself into Charles as the brunette man was looking at him, thinking.
Charles touches Flint's chest, looking at the ginger man. He had his eyes closed, his nose still red for their fight earlier.
That's what they do, fight then fuck. But he James always had his eyes closed.
Does he think of someone else in these moments?
" You don't even know his real name."
Her voice won't leave his mind.
- What the fuck, Charles?
James says annoyed, stopping and sitting up, letting Charles's soft cock in light.
He felt a slave again. Not a slave of a master, a slave for his own feelings.
He doesn't say anything in his defense, just sits there, thinking again and again of Miranda's words.
- Charles!
James yelled and Charles finally sits up, taking his pants from the ground , quickly putting them on and walking to the door.
He walks downstairs, the smell of cheap alcohol and sex hits him hardly.
Vane stops himself in front of a ginger whore, a pretty one, long fire curls and blue eyes.
He doesn't have to say anything, the woman walks right to him, taking his hand smiling and guiding him to a room.
Did Flint ever smiled at him? Did they do anything but fuck?
He enters the room with the woman, who smiles at him mischievously as he touches his still bare chest.
- What's your name?
Charles asks and the woman looks at him surprised.
- Mary.
She said as she touches his cheek and Charles closes his eyes, imagining the touch coming from James.
- Charles Vane, am i correct?
He opens his eyes again and nods before putting his hands on her hips, coming closer to kiss her.
Not the kind of kiss he and James have, the kind that is still a fight but a gentle one, one with passion.
He opens her coressete, letting her breasts fall out.
Charles touches them before lifting her up.
She laughs as he walks to the bed.
Did James ever laughed like that for him?
He asks himself as he puts her down on the bed, taking her dress off.
- I d never thought Charles Vane would be such a gentle man.
She said, sitting in her knees and opening his pants.
- Is that bad?
Charles asks, but he doesn't ask the woman. He mostly asks himself.
She smiles again before she takes his dick in her mouth and he moans softly, closing his eyes.
He tries to not think of James. He shouldn't.
He opens his eyes, forcing himself to look at the woman, to live the present but his mind keeps showing him a imagine of a different ginger sucking his cock.
Charles slowly pulls away before he lets the woman on her back.
He always wanted to fuck James like this.
He shooks his head trying to stop thinking about him, and for a moment, the moment his dick slides in Mary's wetness he forgets about him.
But it was only a moment because he finds himself kissing her yet thinking of him.
" did he ever kiss you? Not while fucking, Charles. Did he ever..."
Charles takes the woman's hand in his , moving faster in her.
"...did he ever hold your hand. Did you ever watch the sunset with him?"
He shuts his eyes, trying to stop the voice in his head.
" Because he did all that with Thomas. He loved Thomas. He loves Thomas"
He moves faster, feeling himself closer.
" He doesn't love you"
Charles comes in the woman before falling on his back, closing his eyes and enjoying the few moments of silence in his head.
- Get out, let me sleep. Ask Jack for money.
He says to the woman who was quick to listen.
- He doesn't love me.
Charles says to himself before falling asleep.