Chapter Text
His first night as a citizen of Haven was easily the most confusing period of Artemis's life. For one, he now found himself with an elven girlfriend who was not above manipulating him to get whatever she wanted. The fact that what Holly wanted—for the moment, at least—was all for Artemis's own good did little to reassure him.
So, step one was acclimation to fairy cuisine. Artemis was sure he would never become a fan of the tarantula burger, but at least it was free of pollutants. He was still having issues controlling his magic, despite previous possession of the energy following the return of Hybras, and anything unnatural in food would kick in his healing, making it impossible to eat surface food. His stomach thus filled, the pair moved on to step two.
"Clothing?" Artemis said, glancing about the shops with disgust. A mall. Really. He wasn't even certain he'd even stepped into one of the things as a human, and now he was being dragged through one like a dog on a leash. And not one of those retractable leashes that N°1 was so fond of. An iron chain connected to a spiked choker collar.
A mall.
"You really think a single suit is going to last?" Holly chided, pulling Artemis's hand a bit harder as they approached an electronics store. Foaly would want to be involved in any computer purchases, and so far the best he could do to help them was establish a line of credit to get Artemis by until his gold was processed. "You are getting something besides a suit, and then there's nightclothes and coats and...d'arvit. This is going to take forever." She stopped and looked about the stores, trying to decide where Artemis would actually deign to shop. "Well? Anything strike you?" She turned to Artemis, then frowned.
He was looking off to the side, head tilted a bit and humming. He looked...pensive. "Mmm...yes. You could say it does."
Holly followed his gaze and saw a shop fronted with white marble and filled with long glass cases. Above the entrance, the words "Kingston's: Finest Jewelry in Haven, est. 11,000 BCE" blazed in white gold.
Holly dropped Artemis's hand and backed away, putting up her palms as a barrier. "Oh, no. You are not going in there."
Artemis looked at her and scowled. "And why, pray tell, not?" He prepared himself for another mini-battle. "The entire reason I became an elf was for you, and I really do not see myself reversing the effects. I mean...I had brain surgery for you. Do you know how they did that? They went through my nose!" He pointed to the recently punctured portion of his face. "My nose, Holly! I felt like an Egyptian."
"Artemis. No." Holly said this quite firmly, also digging in for the fight. "It's too soon. I mean...we've kissed—what?—four times? We haven't even been on a date or had an anniversary. I mean..." She ran a hand through her hair, laughing at the absurdity of the idea. "We haven't even slept together!"
Instantly, Artemis's expression changed. It went from stern and stubborn to...gods, what was that? Holly wasn't sure she'd ever seen him look like that before.
Holly backed off further. "A-Artemis? Why...why are you looking at me like that? You make me nervous when you look at me like that!"
It seemed he could barely speak around his enormous smile. "I get to have...premarital sex?"
Holly groaned and smacked her forehead, dragging the hand down her face. "Artemis, you stupid...come on!" Grabbing his tie, Holly pulled the enraptured elf into the nearest clothing store. She hoped his body could run through shopping on autopilot, because his mind—genius or no—would be stuck on that for hours.