Chapter Text
Hermione wrings her hands together, bouncing on the balls of her feet, full of nervous energy. She smoothes down the nonexistent creases of her long floral skirt and fiddles with the straps of her bra, as though she hadn’t spent an hour fine-tuning her appearance before Flooing here.
She looks around the room, not that there is much to see, the aged mahogany walls are devoid of any personal material. The waiting room is void of anything but the deep burgundy chaise by the fireplace that she vehemently refuses to sit on. Hermione paces the length of the room and wonders if she has time to apparate out of here. She pauses, truly considering that option, when it occurs to her that it is not worth the risk of being splinched, she cannot be their first guest to get cold feet, and she imagines that there are plenty of anti-apparition wards on the venue to stop guests leaving abruptly, hence the need to arrive by Floo.
She gnaws at her nails, a terrible habit that she has never been able to rid of, and settles for twirling a curl around her finger obsessively. She isn’t the first person to attend a blind date, and she doesn’t imagine that she will be the last but, she decides at that moment, that this will certainly be the first and last time that Hermione Granger attends a blind date. She simply can't stomach the anxiety and suspense of it all.
The Iphis lounge, a subsidiary of the Parkinson Agency, has been designed to fulfil one simple purpose: unite lovers and promote eternal happiness. At least that is what the flyer said. A load of codswallop if Hermione could say so, and say so she had when Ginny suggested that she sign up. Her fiery, and awfully stubborn, friend had all but strong-armed Hermione into owling her enquiry form to Pansy.
Pansy, in the years since the war, had undergone the most drastic change out of all the Hogwarts Alumni. She married fellow Slytherin, and notorious womaniser, Blaize Zabini under a setting sun on one of his family’s many vineyards in Italy and became the perfect picture of domestic bliss. Pansy in the years since the battle had reformed herself into a deeply passionate and extremely friendly witch with a penchant for helping others - whether they asked for it or not. With two children and a third on the way, Pansy’s idealistic love life had convinced the Wizarding World that she had cracked the code to love.
The Parkinson Matchmaking Agency opened on Pansy's fourth wedding anniversary when she was in her second trimester with little Raphael Zabini. The agency was growing from success to success and with Hermione's most recent break-up making it to page 4 in The Daily Prophet, Hermione could, begrudgingly, admit that she needed all the help that she could get in the love department.
To soothe her growing nerves, because honestly how long does it take to be seated, Hermione reels through her list of romantic failures. Perhaps not the best idea before a first date but counting calms her nerves and allows her to organise her mind.
Ron had been the first in a tragic line of failures, one that everyone but Hermione saw coming. Their breakup, two years after the war, went tits up when Ron rekindled his relationship with Lavender whilst still dating Hermione. and their very public argument made it to the front page of every newspaper and magazine and remained there for several weeks.
That particular heartbreak led to a string of faceless hookups with muggle men that left her extremely unfulfilled.
There was an incredibly sweet, and very brief, carnal fling with Neville in the winter of 2001 that ended when he realised how smitten he was with Hannah Abbott.
In the spring of 2002, Hermione flew to the States to further her study in Charms and in no time at all she had fallen in love with Hayley. A tall, athletically built woman with dark skin and tightly coiled hair that defied gravity. Hermione had never given much thought to her sexuality before Hayley appeared in her life, never particularly had the chance to before the war. Men had seemed like the only choice for such a long time. An oversight that Hermione regretted immensely but made up for with Hayley. Their relationship came to an end when Hermione was offered a position within the Ministry as an Unspeakable. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that Hayley encouraged her to take but with a sick mother and three younger siblings to care for, Hayley could not return with Hermione to England. Hermione worked through that particular heartbreak in the only way she knew how: her nose buried deeply in her work.
For a time in 2004, she dated a muggle woman, Stacey, and they had been content together but content was not enough and Hermione detested the secrecy and despised keeping huge chunks of her life hidden from her partner.
Vowing herself to celibacy and isolation, Hermione became the perfect employee, aunt and friend. Ginny hated it, hated that her closest friend was sworn off love. Hermione truly believed that if she had not owled the letter to Pansy herself, Ginny would have done so with or without her permission.
The bell above the door jingles, drawing Hermione from her thoughts and back into the present. A short thing of a man with a ridiculously large moustache, motions for her to exit the waiting room.
“Come, come, we must be getting on.” He says, bustling ahead of her down the dimly lit corridor. “You will be dining on the balcony this evening, Miss Granger.”