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Through wrath and ruin, to find the light

Summary:

When I was playing through the chapters I got all these fragmentet story ideas in my head and this is my way of trying to get them into one story. It circles around a Sith Inquisitor and and his attraction for Theron Shan through out the chapters of SWTOR. Starting with Manaan and moving forwards after that.

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS! So read at your own peril.

If you ship Theron+ male characters, you've probably read enough fics like this one to last you a lifetime =P But just one more, right?

Chapter 1: Manaan in a nutshell

Chapter Text

What a shitstorm.

Dyrseto didn't like water – specifically he hated being under water – he hated it fiercely, since it reminded him of things he'd rather forget. Like almost being drowned on several occasions during his slave-life prior to fighting his way to the top. But sometimes, life just doesn't give you a choice, and Manaan, was one of those non-choices.
And just when Dyrseto thought he had gotten the wrap on it, Darth Arkous and Colonel Darok had shown up and made all hell break loose. Or rather made a genetically engineered and heavily tech'd up Selkath monstrosity break loose.

It was basically a huge clusterfuck of raw power that was left to pummel its way through the already very badly banged up underwater platform. And as if that wasn’t enough, Darth Arkous and his republic boyfriend vacated the premises and made sure that the entire base was crumbling all the way to the bottom pits of hell in a not so neat little handbasket...

Then there was this sweet little icing on the metaphorical cake. Lana was apparently and a little too conveniently otherwise occupied and Dyrseto was stuck trusting a mystery ally whom for all he knew, could have done away with Lana, hijacked the entire operation and could be contributing even more shit to this already crappy shitfest of an excursion.
There was no way to know for certain but with options spread unbearably thin, he had little choice and at least the mystery ally claimed to have coordinates to an escape pod – the only known way off the soon to be imploded underwater laboratory – an escape pod that said ally had also magically saved when Arkous and Darok decided today was a good day for Dyrseto to die.

Just as the begrudgingly worried sith sorcerer and Khem finally managed to stumble through one of the last doors before their supposed destination, that oversized and massively tech-imbued fish-head from a few levels above, barrelled straight through a door behind them and hurtled itself towards them with mind-numbing agility.

“Take that thing out quick! Lana said you were tough. C'mon let’s see it!” Their mystery ally shouted I his ear and made Dyrseto make a mental note to strangle him if he ever got the chance.

The odd ally kept blabbering over the coms at regular intervals and it was, to say the least more, irritating than actually helpful. But at the time the only response the tired, preoccupied and by now very stressed out Sith could manage was the occasional sneering grunt and one fiercely bitter “Shut. Up!” in a direct response to the mystery mans suggestion that he and Khem was about to learn how to breath water if they didn’t haul jets.

Dyrseto hated water... The quip didn't sit at all well with him but he used all the hate and fear he could muster from it and threw it at the enemy while trying his best to block out any reminder of the quickly imploding underwater facility.

'Just die already!' he thought to himself as he threw another force lightning at the huge Selkath to lure it closer and hopefully under the almost rupturing pipe above. Hopefully he could rupture the pipe at the right time and fry the Selkath who by all means was strong and agile but was thankfully dumb as a doornail.

The annoying man on the safe end of the coms didn't seem faced by Dyrseto's comment to the ire of both Dyrseto and Khem. He kept droning on, like he was having a monologue all to himself and Khem eventually suggested he make a meal out of the hyped up man at first convenience to which Dyrseto had to bite his tongue to not readily agree.

At least the man seemed to want them to get out of there alive and that had to count for something, right?

After finally frying the monstrosity and then dropping the last of the enemies with well-placed lightsaber strikes, Dyrseto half ran and half stumbled his way over to the console by the door at the far end of the room, the door to his last shot at life. The room was now flooding at an alarming pace but he ignored the bitter taste of panic at the back of his throat and pushed a few buttons until suddenly the mystery man gained a face over a holo-call.

“You’re… with the republic, aren’t you?” Dyrseto asked evenly. Masking his surprise as well as the clawing beast of fear in his belly while Khem just grumped angrily behind him.

The man in the holo-projection was frantically pushing buttons, totally engrossed with what Dyrseto guessed was slicing. He let his mind ponder freely for a moment to help take his mind of the bile of fear rising in the back of his throat. The man was smart, cheeky and handsome and didn't seem the type to back down from a fight. He almost reminded him of…

'No!' He slammed down on his thoughts, shoving them harshly back behind the mental walls in his mind with an outwards scowl and slight growl that could probably have sent lesser men to run screaming for the hills thinking they were a hairsbreadth away from being murdered.

Their ally's tone was condescending and held a hint of annoyance when he confirmed that he indeed was with the republic, but despite that, he was currently engaged in trying to save the Sith’s life and he ended his little outburst with a pointed question.

“Got a problem with that?”

“Just get us out of here…” Dyrseto growled as he steadied himself against yet another explosion that worryingly rocked the entire squealing sub-aquatic platform. The floor was slippery, filled with knee-high water and constantly shifting as the lab sunk ever deeper. It was making even the simple act of standing up straight into a real challenge and the overshadowing threat of impending death was making the seconds feel like hours and minutes into eternity.

Every random noise of crumbling, squealing metal or exploding tech had Dyrseto's nerves coil ever tighter. He lost count how many times he swallowed his heart back down and he could only evened out his breathing with great determination while watching his republic ally frantically press buttons on his end.
Just as he thought he was about to explode under the pressure of his own frantic fear, Jakaro and his noisy droid came barging into the room screaming and growling about not being built to withstand the crushing depth of the sea.

'That makes four of us...' Dyrseto thought involuntarily as he once again braced against death-rattling explosion and the ever shifting tilt of the floor. He didn't have time to worry much longer as the man in the holo gave them the go ahead and all of them scurried towards the escape pod.

The short sprint to the pod seemed to stretch out for aeons and every time the underwater laboratory shook, screamed and cried in it's death throes Dyrseto's heart was hammering so hard in his chest he couldn't hear anything but his own pulse and every time the platform tilted unexpectedly, making them slip and slide their way as best they could towards their salvation, he felt like it might the last thing he would ever hear.

When reaching the pod, they all clamoured inside in a hurry as the lab started tilting dangerously to one side leaving them almost sliding backwards towards the area the came from. Khem helped Dyrseto haul the Wookie and his droid in and together they slammed the pod shut before they all collapsed where they stood – heaving and huffing and barely holding on to their sanity. Well, in all honesty, Khem didn't seem all that phased but at least he looked as tired as the rest of them.

'Never again....' Dyrseto thought to himself as he sat with his back towards the pods door, closing his eyes. He breathed a quiet sigh of relief when their pod continued to steadily make it's way towards what he at least dimly hoped was safety.

Walking into their base of operations Dyrseto was met by a somewhat relieved Lana, as well as the republic man from the holo. And had he not been exhausted from his previous incursion, ready to fall asleep standing up – if he could just stop shivering from the coldness of his still wet clothes – he might not have been out of his mind enough to flirt with the man that introduced himself as Theron Shan. Republic SiS agent of all things.

But as it happened Dyrseto found himself momentarily dazed by the brown-haired spy and the cheeky but no-nonsense way he conducted himself. It was a welcome reprieve from the normal coldness he surrounded himself with to keep his own thoughts at bay. He couldn't help himself but smile at the squirming agent and his thoughts went to very indecent places and before he could stop himself he found himself undressing the man with his eyes.

Unfortunately Dyrseto was rudely sobered the minute Lana took over the conversation and the small mischievous glimmer in his eyes and the tiny smirk reverted back to his hardened, almost scowling facade. He gave her the bare minimum in terms of replies and too soon he was back on his ship and on his way towards Nar Shaddaa to give his crew some much needed R&R before the next big mission.

--

Dyrseto occupied himself by staring at the furthest wall in his quarters, from the bed he was currently perched on. He hated being stuck in this apartment but at the same time, he couldn’t get himself to sell it. And staying in the apartment was better than prancing about on Nar Shaddaa. It always ended up badly for him in one way or another, even when he just went to the cantina for a drink. Trouble had a way of finding him no matter how hard he tried to lie low.

There in the confines of the apartment there were so many memories. Too many to be even remotely comfortable and he definitely didn't need a reminder of all those times that were now out of reach every second of every day, but at the same time he didn’t want to loose them. Therefore he willingly stuck himself in limbo where he kept the apartment but he himself was usually very rarely ever there.

Any other day of the week that was a very easy task to accomplish since he kept himself working to keep all his thoughts distracted, much to his crews annoyance. They could have gone to another world, he supposed, to let his mind have a bit less memories to sift through. But where else than Nar Shaddaa could you find pleasures and fun for such a diverse crew such as his? Even Khem went out on short “hunting trips” as they called them – so as to not offend the less tolerant and open minded people of the crew – when he wasn't lurking around in the shadows guarding the apartment and keeping a silent but watchful eye on Dyrseto.

Everyone in his crew had a key to the flat and there was rooms and beds enough for all of them and more, but everyone also knew to give the Sith a wide birth and to leave him well enough alone with his thoughts unless otherwise prompted.

Ashara had in her good nature tried to comfort him once after the news of Dern’s death reach them and she learned the hard way that Dyrseto wasn’t the sharing type. He had flung her out of his room and across the corridor with such force that even after Talos patched her up, it took her weeks to fully recover. No one spoke another word about Dern within earshot of Dyrseto from that day forward, unless they were very brave or very, very stupid.

Lost in thoughts as Dyrseto was when the call from Lana finally came, to once again give him an excuse to drag his sorry ass out of the apartment, he flinched at the beeping sound of his holo before yanking it out – a little to eagerly – making him fumble a bit before he answered.
He may not like his fellow Sith very much but at least he could always count on her to keep it short and to the point and proving him right Lana made quick work of arranging to meet up on the fleet. Eager as he was to take on any challenge to take his mind off the fact that he was – once again – alone in this inhospitable galaxy, Dyrseto jumped into action.

At the meeting in the bowels of one of the fleet ships he listened politely with half an ear while Lana made her case, all the while making side-calls to assemble the last of his scattered crew. Not to be insulting or anything but everyone knew that in this case, as so many others, they didn't really need him to know every puny little detail. They told him out of politeness or a need for confirmation that they were in fact taking acceptable actions. But mostly they just needed the inquisitor for his ability to fight and get shit done.

And as appealing as revenge on Darth Arkous and Darok was, the information that actually garnered his full interest for more than a few seconds, was the fact that Theron would be joining in on the operation to Rakata Prime. That information left a lingering sensation of anticipation that the Sith hadn't been privy to in many months.

--

Touching down on Rakata Prime had an odd feeling to it. Dyrseto was itching but not the way he normally felt when he needed a good fight to get his head back in the game after too many trips down memory lane. It was a fluttering itch that had all to much to do with a certain spy and the anticipation of seeing that smirk that always seemed to reach those green eyes of his. And Dyrseto still wasn't sure how he felt about that.

To the pureblood's disappointment the happy reuniting was set aside due to a certain stick-up-her-ass, a raging wookie and wailing droid.

All work and no play...

The information given in the briefing was however enough to make Dyrseto forget his internal battles for a while and throw himself fully into the obliteration of the revanite-madness brought on by Darth Arkous and Sergeant Darok on Rakata Prime. There was no way in the known universe he was going to let those two arrogant monkey lizards rampage through the galaxy unchecked and unchallenged.

During the mission Dyrseto was surprised when Theron’s code of conduct overlapped with his own on a number of different situations and it intrigued him. He had gotten the impression that most republic soldiers and leaders where hypocritical douche-bags willing to sacrifice, lie and hide behind their holier-than-thou slogans.
Ok, so he was the first to admit that he wasn’t exactly a saint, but nowadays he had a hard time stomaching cruelty just for the sake of cruelty and he had never been a fan of slavery. He was also more of a pragmatist than was strictly appreciated in the Empire and his ideas about the force was often met with harsh comments and sneers. But his own philosophy had let him accomplish more since his graduation from the academy, than most Sith accomplished in a lifetime, so he wasn't going to be swayed by narrow minded bigots.

After hours and hours of trekking, grit, stims and too much fighting to constitute as healthy – the two idiots plotting to destroy the galaxy finally lay dead at his feet. He would have preferred to take them in alive and make them suffer the shame of failure til old age and bars withered them useless but in the end it was regrettably not an option.

Dyrseto looked away from the carnage in front of him over to Khem, who sheathed his sword and flexed his muscles to the max before relaxing with an indignant huff, and then shifted his gaze to Jakarro with D4 strapped to his chest, both roaring in their own way over the victory.

He raised his eyebrow slightly and smoothed out an imaginary wrinkle in his lower robe while contemplating the bad feeling looming in the pit of his stomach like a bad bantha steak the morning after a cantina-night. He seemed to be alone in feeling like he had to constantly look over his shoulder. He let the feeling win for a moment and scrutinized the area around him but after a few moments of nothing creeping up on him, he carefully walked over to a console and contacted Lana and Theron to inform them of the situation. And for a few short seconds everything went swimmingly.

Lana suddenly interrupted to notify everyone she felt something approach. The itchy feeling of skittering spiders along Dyrseto's spine went into full-blown paranoia and seconds after he and Lana agreed on something for once, multiple unidentified ships dropped out of hyperspace right above Rakata Prime.

One of the ships went into low orbit and greeted them all with a holoprojection of the last person they thought they'd ever see. But since the cult they were after were called revanites, maybe, they should have suspected?

That pompous bastard should be dead, but instead he stubbornly seemed to cling to this life and because of it he had apparently become more warped than a triple-infused hyper drive. Everything out of his mouth was deranged crazy-talk and when he was done talking about his superiority, he opened fire on the temple Dyrseto and his companions was currently still residing in. Intent on raising it to the ground like a petulant child throwing a tantrum over having to share a toy.

Crap... This was gonna hurt…

They all ran for everything they were worth towards the ship left behind by the very dead duo they all had set out to capture or execute. Luckily the Wookie was a better pilot than anyone ever gave him credit for, least of all that loud droid he seemed hellbent on carrying with him everywhere. They all made it out in mostly one piece though the Wookie had caught blaster shrapnel to his left side and Dyrseto caught a few stray falling rocks with his shoulder to the point of dislocating it as well as cutting up his favorite robe. Never mind the blood gushing out of the wound stretching from his shoulder and half way down his upper arm, trying to find a good robe again that didn't look like he drowned in it was going to be annoying.

The moment the trio plus droid came walking into the meeting room back on the fleet again, Dyrseto couldn't help but feel oddly satisfied at the relieved look Theron wore along with the breath he let out that he seemed to have been holding. It brought back the memory of how Theron's worried screech over the communicator back at Rakata Prime, had reached past his outer defences and shook him to his core. Dyrseto couldn’t help himself after remembering that. He poked the agent with suggestive comments and flashed more than one flirty smile. All just to watch said spy squirm, deflect and stutter in delightful response before hanging his head in defeat, letting the silence doing the talking for him.

Oh how he had wanted to do more, but that pestering Lana had been in the way as usual and looking back now, that moment seemed like more than a lifetime ago.

Months had passed since then and not a single word after they all went their separate ways. Of course he understood the need to go underground to coax their enemy out more into the open. But it was becoming increasingly hard to find any reason to get out of bed and continue business as usual. Most missions were menial at best and even the ones that required his full attention was not nearly enough to keep his thoughts at bay for long. He was depressed and he knew it. Most of his crew knew it too but they followed him none the less, and as long as they followed, he was not about to let them down. He was much too stubborn for that.

So he kept gritting his teeth, soldiering on and was now on his way to Rishi, hunting a hunch born from a protégé's vision and a navigator glitch.