Work Text:
The warmth of Tamegorou’s hand always burned in his memory.
He forgot how his brother looked, he even cannot recall how his voice was back when he was still living with his brother.
Yet, his big hand who always gave him comfort never left his mind.
He opened his eyes, finding himself in an unfamiliar room with oversized clothes. He didn’t remember how he ended up in the room
“W-What is this?!” Toshi panicked. His voice reached the Commander of Shinsengumi’s room and a couple of men entered his room without a second thought.
“T-Toshi?! What’s wrong with you—You've gotten smaller!!” The man who had a gorilla face hurriedly approached him. He could feel the worry was genuine, but that man was ten times bigger than him, and he felt intimidated by him.
Toshi looks at them with fearful eyes. Their faces are somehow familiar in his mind but he cannot recall their names. Somehow they were older than he remembered.
“Hmm, this is interesting…” The short-haired man looks very sinister right now. Toshi can feel the chill run down his spine.
Toshi quickly hides his head, noticing the man might pick on him. But the Gorilla man stopped him before he could do anything.
“Sougo! Don’t be mean to Little Toshi!”
“But, Kondo-san, he might be pretending—”
It took only five minutes to stop Sougo from picking the obedient, quiet little Toshi and focusing on the main problem.
The man who was called Kondo asked him a few questions. Toshi cannot give him any useful information, he quietly answered that he didn't remember why he ended up as a child or how his memory was a bit fuzzy right now.
“Why did he turn into a child?”
“I dunno. What I know he was handling group of amanto yesterday—”
The two familiar officers continue to discuss the situation. Toshi, who wasn’t aware of his situation, continued to stare at the panicking adults around him. Some of the officers talked to him and tried to make him remember something.
But Toshi cannot respond the way they wanted. He was still confused why the adults called him “Vice Chief Commander”, was he an adult before?
When no one was looking, Toshi rummaged through some part of his room. He thought he might remember something if he locked his personal stuff. Then a used milk carton caught his eyes.
Toshi didn’t remember if he had ever tasted strawberry milk before.
“So, you want me to take care of this brat? Oi oi, this is not a daycare, you know.” The silver-haired man looked at him with bored eyes.
Toshi got a chill just from his stare.
Currently, Kondo was taking him to a place called “Odd Jobs Gin-chan”. He told him he used to have questionable friendships with the man who lived in this place, and he surely would help them with the whole situation.
But right now, Toshi can see the man clearly didn’t want to see him, he can feel the awkward atmosphere around them. Yet, Kondo seemed didn’t notice the man’s unwillingness to welcome the little kid into his place.
“Don’t be like that, Gintoki~ I will pay you handsomely, we really need someone to guard our dear vice chief for a few days!” Kondo continues to persuade him with a desperate tone.
“Really? Why didn’t you guys do it if this guy is so precious to you?”
“We wish we could, Gintoki. But our hands are full right now. We haven’t caught the suspect who did this to Toshi!”
Toshi didn’t listen to their conversation as his eyes wander to Yorozuya’s room. Somehow the room felt nostalgic for him, even though he has never been here before in his memory. He caught the familiar strawberry milk carton in the corner of the work desk.
It has the same brand as the one in his place, maybe Kondo wasn’t lying about Gintoki being one of his friends, but his attitude right now was against of Kondo's idea.
In the end, the man who called himself Sakata Gintoki accepted the quest, Kondo patted his head and told him if he had something urgent, he could always contact him by phone.
Toshi felt the urge to hide in the room once Kondo left him, he was told that Gintoki had two subordinates who were much younger than Gintoki, yet he hasn’t seen them today.
Gintoki continued to read until dawn hit the sky, and somehow Toshi’s quietness was making him irked.
“You’re too quiet, Hijikata. Don’t you want to say anything?” Gintoki approached Toshi who busied himself by scribbling something on the blank paper.
It’s not like he didn’t want to speak, he just didn’t know how to talk to adults besides his big brother.
“Uh….Sakata-san?” He carefully called his name.
Gintoki didn’t like how he called him. “Eugh, just call me Gintoki.”
“Gintoki-san.” He spoke his name, and it felt right in his mouth. Gintoki’s eyes twitched a bit.
The man sat beside him, the sudden closeness made his heartbeat rise, he thought maybe he wasn't used to the man’s presence.
“So, you don’t remember…anything? Not even me?” There was a little bit of a sad tone in his conversation.
Toshi shook his head.
“Uh, I see.” There was a disappointed tone in his voice, but Toshi didn't press it further.
He quietly ate the dinner that Gintoki prepared. He didn’t expect the man would cook and prepared him a meal, judging from his conversation with Kondo, he didn’t want to deal with him at all.
Yet, his action was the opposite. He prepared a nice dinner that made his stomach full, he didn’t remember when the last time he had a nice meal like this, and he was feeling grateful to the man who agreed to watch him for a few days.
Gintoki gave him a small futon beside his futon, Gintoki admitted he didn’t mind sharing his room with Toshi if he won’t disturb his sleep. Toshi wasn't a noisy child, but sometimes he had nightmares that could disturb someone.
He hoped he wouldn't bother the silver-haired man for the next few days.
The first day staying at Yorozuya place went well. Toshi met the China girl and Glasses Boy the next day and both of them were thrilled to see small Toshi staying at their place.
They were the ones who took him out to wander around Kabuki-cho, it was fun and Toshi gradually opened himself, like asking for a few sweets shyly and seeing fireworks.
Toshi liked how they were so friendly and cheerful. Kagura told him that he used to treat her with sweets and Sinpachi also told him about various anime he could watch.
Gintoki still acted the same. Indifferent toward his existence and didn’t ask him anything besides what kind of food he wanted to eat. Of course, Toshi won’t request anything hard, a simple omelet rice was enough for his stomach.
The only thing he did to him lent him Jump magazines when he had nothing to do. Kagura and Sinpachi were busy for the whole day and Gintoki was the one who was available to take care of him.
Toshi didn’t mind, but he hoped the man would open up to him as Kagura and Sinpachi did.
Kondo was supposed to pick him up at the end of the week, but suddenly Gintoki received the news that Shinsengumi’s HQ was under attack right now. The place wasn’t safe for him, so he was asking Gintoki’s help again.
Toshi expected the man would refuse, but Gintoki nonchalantly accepted the request extension. Their mundane days continued and Toshi had no complaint about living with Gintoki.
But his quietness turned out to be a problem for Gintoki who always threw mixed expressions whenever Toshi agreed to do whatever Gintoki told him to, whether he was doing errands for him or making him clean the house.
“You’re so quiet, you know. Why don’t you ask something?” Gintoki finally let out his frustration. It was obvious he didn’t like how Toshi was too obedient to him, but he didn’t know how to act with Gintoki, the man wasn’t being open to him.
“Uhm…” Toshi fidgets with his fingers. He did want to ask many questions about their previous relationship, almost everyone told him that he was close with Gintoki, but the man didn’t act friendly at all to him, not even showing some affection as Kagura and Sinpachi did.
Yet, he was unable to find the correct words to express it.
“Never mind, if you are satisfied with watching anime and reading jump with me, then I have no complaints.” Gintoki takes the tv remote and tunes in the usual Sailor Moon anime.
Toshi liked the show, but today, his mind won’t shut up about looking for a memory. It feels weird whenever Gintoki approaches him and sits beside him.
There’s a faint urge where he wanted Gintoki to touch him. It’s like he wished Gintoki would act like Tamegoro and give him comfort. But the silver perm hair man wasn’t his family, not even a close friend, so why did he seek comfort from him?
Thinking back about Tamegorou, he remembered he decided to leave his hometown and his beloved brother because he didn’t want to be a burden to him, he did miss his brother, but he still didn’t want to get back.
Gintoki noticed the kid wasn’t watching the show anymore, he turned off the tv and called him to sleep early since Toshi was being restless for the whole day.
The raven-haired boy cannot sleep that night, his mind wandering about how similar his current situation is to before.
His heart always has this mysterious lingering feeling about Gintoki. He always feels giddy whenever Gintoki prepares him a meal and gives him the jump magazine, sometimes when Toshi throws some questions about the characters or the story, Gintoki would gladly explain to him.
Sometimes, his eyes cannot stop staring at Gintoki's hand. Whenever he was picking his nose or scratching his groin, Toshi wanted his hand on his head for a brief moment.
Toshi also realized he had a weird feeling when he saw the man talking to a woman, his heart would be clenched, like something poking his heart with a needle. He disliked seeing him with a woman who threw some affectionate gaze at him secretly, Gintoki probably ignored the hidden message.
He knew he had no meaning to Gintoki, but he wished the man would pay attention to him. But spending time with Gintoki wasn’t that bad, the man might pick on him and bully him a little bit, he wasn't scary like Sougo.
There was one time when they went to a convenience store and it was raining. Gintoki had no choice but to carry the little Toshi in his arms. It feels nice to be held close by Gintoki, he can’t help but bury his face in his neck when the storm is getting stronger.
Gintoki paid no mind to Toshi who was clutching him tighter than usual.
Tonight, he felt so lonely, it’s been a while since he hasn’t seen Kondo, and he was stuck with Gintoki for the whole three days. Kagura and Sinpachi sometimes drop by, but they didn’t spend half a day with him.
He yearned for comfort from someone, and he didn’t know how to ask Gintoki. Toshi hasn’t stopped shifting in his futon, making the man uncomfortable.
“What’s wrong?” His voice had an annoyed tone, but the man was throwing a worried gaze at him. “Your stomach hurts?” Gintoki carefully inspected him by taking away his blanket.
Toshi quickly shook his head. He can’t hold his tears anymore as he sniffed in his bed.
A warm finger wiped away his tears. “Toshi? Why are you crying?” His soft voice makes him hard to breathe.
“Am I getting thrown away?” He asked quietly. He just cannot find the right words without making the man flinch.
Gintoki’s expression changed into laughter. “What makes you think that? Gheez—”
He didn’t expect the man would quickly pull him into his embrace and then soothe him by rubbing his back softly.
“Nobody abandons you.” He cooed at him, and Toshi could not resist not hugging him back.
“You’re okay with me here? I might—bother you—”
“Nonsense. I haven’t kicked you out, have I?” He said, his hand finally patting his head and Toshi can’t be happier than this.
The man caught the glint from Toshi’s deep blue eyes, and he continued to pamper him with a pat and tight grip.
Gintoki’s hidden feelings were reaching out to him, and it turns out he has been worried about him.
Maybe he wasn’t different from him at all. Unable to express their deep emotion with words.
“Stay here, Toshirou.” He whispered as Gintoki kissed his forehead gently, giving affirmation that he wanted him around.
Toshi liked how Gintoki called his first name, he wanted to listen to his voice more, but the man quickly snores again. The raven boy giggled as he buried his head on his chest.
For the first time he woke up, that night was the most comfortable sleep he ever had. He found out he really likes sleeping on Gintoki’s arm. His warm chest rising slowly gave him a sense of serenity.
If only his breath wasn’t smelly, he would stay forever on his futon.
Ever since Gintoki stopped hesitating to interact with Toshi, his memory started to surface in his mind. He remembered how Kondo built the Shinsengumi and his daily life as Vice Chief Commander.
He also remembered his encounter with Gintoki little by little. They argued a lot, Toshi was sure they weren’t getting along at all, but the rest of his memory came up and it turned out there were some intimate moments between them.
‘No way—I liked him?’ Toshi realized why his body unconsciously yearned for the silver samurai man.
‘This man is really good-for-nothing.’ Toshi thought after catching Gintoki taking a nap on the couch while he finished cleaning the toilet.
The boy cannot suppress his curiosity as he approached the man and touched his bangs. They were sticking out from his face, and he wanted to know how fluffy his hair was.
“Hmmm? Never seen a silver perm like this before?” The man teased him once he opened his eyes.
“Ah, sorry.” Toshi quickly moved away, but Gintoki was faster and caught him, pulling him into hugs.
“It’s okay, Toshi. Let’s take a nap.”
He liked how Gintoki wouldn’t think twice to pull him closer and patting him, the man seemed to notice Toshi liked getting in touch with him.
Kagura and Sinpachi started to notice how Toshi quietly sat on Gintoki’s lap and Gintoki would carry him on occasional days. Kagura started to get jealous because she hasn’t been with Toshi lately.
“Gin-chan! Why have you been so chummy with Toshi-chan recently? Let me carry him!” Kagura demanded Toshi into her arms.
Gintoki pulled Toshi closer, even holding his head closer to his neck. “Shut up, brat. I’m the one who spends time with him the most, you get your own turn.”
“Not fair! We’re out there doing your job so you can laze around with our dear Toshi-chan, give him back!”
“Both of you, stop!” Sinpachi sighed. They should stop treating Toshi like he was their toy, and they need to share like a proper adult.
In the end, Gintoki put down Toshi, and Kagura combs Toshi’s hair while humming. “Toshi-chan, do you want to be Gintoki’s bride when you’ve grown up?” She teased him.
Gintoki was the one who choked on his drink. “The hell are you asking him that question—”
“Uhm.” Toshi shyly nodded while his cheek went red.
This time it was Gintoki’s face that went red. “H-He didn’t know what you were talking about, okay? He’s in child form, for God’s sake—"
“What’s wrong with that? You should be happy there’s still someone who wants to be your bride!”
“What’s that supposed to mean—”
They continued to bicker, but Sinpachi knew Gintoki continued to argue just to hide how embarrassed he was.
Toshi giggled, he somehow grew into Yorozuya’s family. Wished he could stay with them forever.
It was extremely hard for Gintoki to act indifferent to Toshi. He can’t believe the man who treated him coldly for a few months suddenly went back into child form and he has to take care of him.
He won’t refuse anyway, seeing Toshi in a vulnerable state makes him want to keep him close. The nicotine addict he knew wasn’t so obedient and quiet as the kid he had to take care of.
Because of Toshi’s form, he slowly realized why Toshi always acted so distant and expressionless whenever he spent time with him.
He has always been like this ever since he was a kid. Suppressed his emotion because he feels he didn’t deserve to let out his true feelings.
“Gintoki-san—Are you going somewhere else?” Toshi politely asks him. The way Toshi tugged his yukata while signing he wanted to join but was too shy to ask.
Gintoki chuckled as he patted his head. He just can’t handle Toshi’s cuteness. “Yes, it won’t be too long. You want some dango too?”
Toshi nodded eagerly. “Then, have a safe trip.”
“Yep. Be a good boy, Toshi. I will be back with tons of snacks.” Gintoki thought it wouldn't be a problem if he left Toshi for a few minutes. He wasn’t planning to leave him for a while, knowing Toshi had abandonment issues.
It’s not like Toshi was a handful child, in fact, he was too obedient to be branded as a brat. He just needed some personal space to sort out his feelings.
He was clearly still in love with Hijikata Toushirou and right now it’s hard for him to control himself around him. He started to be possessive toward Toshi, sometimes he was irked to see Kagura carrying him too often.
At this point, he would turn into a criminal if Toshi didn’t go back to his usual self. He definitely didn’t want to groom Toshi, he tried his best to keep platonic and familial gestures as possible, but sleeping has been the biggest obstacle for him.
Toshi always ended up in his bed every time he woke up in the morning. Toshi seemed like sleeping in his arms too much, he told him he didn’t have nightmares at all when he slept on his futon.
What could possibly traumatize Toshi as a child? Gintoki didn’t even want to know, he wished he could help Toshi go back as Vice Chief Commander again.
That’s why he asked Sougo to meet him, to discuss the further plan about Toshi’s condition. The Captain of Shinsengumi waited for him with a bunch of dango.
“Danna, are you still playing babysitter?” Sougo still wearing his dirty uniform, judging from his appearance, it seemed Sougo had finished another raid operation without Hijikata.
Shinsengumi became a whole mess without their Vice Chief Commander, of course, they wanted Hijikata back as soon as possible.
“You guys make me rich; how can I refuse that?” Gintoki sat beside him and ate the Dango.
Sougo looked around, trying to find the raven hair boy. “Huh…I can’t find Hijikata-san, are you sure you’re taking care of him properly?”
Gintoki knows Sougo would really like to bully Hijikata in child form. So, he purposely didn’t bring Toshi to their meeting. “What’s the fun of bullying an obedient brant like him.”
Sougo shrugged off as he threw the stick into the trash can. “You have a point, Danna.”
The younger man took out a report from his jacket, but he didn’t give it to Gintoki immediately. “Before we can discuss, there’s something I want to ask you.” He was being serious, and Gintoki cannot refuse to listen to his question. “Did you and Hijikata-san…”
Gintoki only gave one look and nodded.
“Then, why have you been acting so distant with him recently?” Even Sougo thought it was odd that Hijikata and Gintoki didn’t banter and fought whenever they met on the street for the past few months.
“He hasn’t told you?” Gintoki looks at him for one second and then throws the empty stick of dango. “We broke up a few months ago.”
Sougo didn’t reply to him immediately. He thought Gintoki was joking but the man didn’t laugh at all. “Oh, really? No wonder he turned into a brat.”
“What did you mean?” Gintoki raised his eyebrow.
Sougo hands over the reports to Gintoki. “Apparently, Hijikata-san was harmed by Amanto’s bioweapon on our last raid. The weapon was harmless to people who didn’t have trouble in his mind, but if the gas was inhaled by troubled human—They will revert back to their former self.”
“Former self? Then, in his mind, he went back to—”
“A brat. Yes. You know how stubborn he is, right? About himself.”
“Yes.” Gintoki definitely knew how thick Hijikata's skull was. Not even he can make him express his feelings about the whole situation between them.
Yet, he missed the mayo addict’s glare and his cruel comments about his sugar habits. “Is there a way… to turn him back?”
Sougo shared the same sentiment, it was tiring him out to handle the Shinsengumi without Toshi’s help. “There is one way. But… it might be difficult for someone like Hijikata-san.”
Sougo gave him some report about the Amanto’s weapon they were talking about. He didn’t need Sougo’s explanation, he already knew the gist of the problem.
Human emotions work in different ways, and not all people can be honest about themselves. Hijikata Toushirou was one of the most difficult humans to express his personal feelings, and even Gintoki didn’t understand what he had been thinking about him until now.
Why did the man agree to meet him outside his job and let their relationship evolve into something so intimate and hurt them in the end?
Until now, Gintoki had no idea why Hijikata would let himself be claimed by him, and yet the man refused to acknowledge their hidden relationship to the public.
They didn’t even have one single date like a couple. And now Gintoki deeply regrets it.
Gintoki began to see why he was approaching Hijikata in the wrong way. He remembered the first thing he unconsciously chased Hijikata and pursued him in a courteous way because he wanted to unravel his hidden feeling so badly.
He noticed the Vice Chief liked to throw some questionable gaze at him whenever he wasn’t looking.
Hijikata never expressed why he was looking at Gintoki with such an alluring gaze, so he took his intention in a sexual way.
Their relationship started with physical touch. A few bumps and banter on an izakaya turned into a hand job and made out in a love hotel.
They lived with their instinct, and the first thing they felt toward each other was raw lust to dominate each other.
Gintoki honestly cannot forget how fantastic their first night was. No one in his life could match his stamina other than Hijikata.
Like a child who got addicted to sugar, Gintoki got addicted to Hijikata. But Gintoki wasn’t blessed with keen eyes for human emotion and depicting Hijkata’s questionable stare was hard for him.
He thought the man didn’t want more than fuck buddies, so he didn’t say anything. But Gintoki gradually hated to be separated from Hijikata and desperately making him stay after their usual sex routine was making him look pathetic.
He didn’t even remember what made them fight in the first place. Hijikata was telling him that he was getting uncomfortable about something and Gintoki suggested something that made him mad. His anger was hurting Gintoki’s feelings, and they could not stop fighting that night.
When Gintoki asked him if they were over or not, Hijikata told him it was up to Gintoki. Since the silver-haired man didn’t chase him and say anything, they had no reason to continue to meet.
Sure, Hijikata wasn’t honest with him, but Gintoki shared the fault too. He didn’t show him any sign or even confess his feelings, he just feels like he was too old to act like a teenager who got a lover.
He thought Hijikata didn’t want to be tied down, but he never asked him either. Lack of communication seemed to be their main problem.
In the end, Gintoki went home by himself, Sougo had to return to HQ, he had an urgent mission from Kondo.
Kagura is currently taking a walk with Sadaharu and Sinpachi has an errand from his sister, so Toshi was still alone in his place. Gintoki didn’t waste any second and went home with a bunch of dango.
“Toshi, I’m home—”
Gintoki’s mind stopped working when he didn’t find a raven hair boy in his place.
The last thing he remembered was eating dango with puffy eyes. When he opened his eyes again, he couldn't see anything, and his body was tied with rope.
He got kidnapped by a bunch of men that wanted his life.
Judging from his work, he was one of the powerful police officers that had many enemies around the city. Kondo did tell them the situation was kind of out of control right now.
Toshi tried to resist a few times, but it was futile. Judging from the voices he heard, there were a bunch of men guarding the secret base.
He didn’t find his phone either in his pocket, the kidnapper definitely took away his belongings to prevent him from calling for help.
It’s been so long for him to feel such hopelessness, the last time he was felt like this was when he couldn't save Kondo from their enemies. Staying in Yorozuya made him realize that maybe he deserves to feel happy, maybe he deserves to feel relaxed around people he is close with.
‘I don’t want to be a burden anymore—’ Toshi had enough to be a burden to people he loved, he decided to struggle once more, but the kidnapper quickly threatened him with a knife.
“Stand down, boy, or you will get—”
Suddenly the place blew up, Toshi threw up from his spot, and quickly looking for something to grab on to, he caught an unused sword and quickly tore out the rope and took off his blindfold.
Gintoki came by himself, carrying his “Lake Toya” wooden sword.
“Don’t you dare TOUCH HIM!” He growled; his face was angry like he was ready to kill someone.
Toshi cannot stop the trembling feeling in his body when he watches Gintoki kicking and bashing his sword at the enemies who charged against him.
The raven boy quickly runs toward him, and some of the enemies show him getting away from them and chasing them.
Toshi still remembers a few moves as he dodged them. Luckily, his small body was able to get away from them.
“Gintoki!!! I’m here!!!” Toshi screamed as Gintoki saw him. He quickly ran toward him to pick him up.
Once he turned his back to get out from the secret base, he saw dozens of enemies gathered on their exit way.
Turns out this kidnap operation wasn’t planned by a group of rogues, but they also have reinforcements coming from a group of mercenaries. And some of them also have poison weapons.
Gintoki was obviously outnumbered by them, yet Gintoki won’t give up easily.
He managed to dodge and get rid of half of his enemies, but the Shinobi was the toughest one. They were quicker than Gintoki and they had plenty of weapons that could put them in an advantageous position. Toshi wished Gintoki didn’t need to protect him so he could fully concentrate on defeating the rest of the enemies.
In the end, Gintoki gets thrown out because the Shinobi threw small bombs to corner him. Gintoki and Toshi got separated because of the explosion.
Before he could realize where his body was right now, suddenly a shinobi was targeting him and throwing some darts. Gintoki quickly went over to him.
Toshi saw Gintoki cover his body, so the poison dart went to him, Gintoki was immobilized for a moment after he got shot by the darts. His face was holding so much pain and it hurt his heart really bad.
But the man won’t stop just because he got poisoned. He stood up again as he approached the remaining enemies, charging him with his weapon while screaming.
He called Gintoki, begged him to stop, and just ran away since the situation was getting worse, Gintoki was losing blood because of his wound and the poison was affecting his body.
There was one shinobi who was getting close to cutting off Gintoki’s neck, and it drove Toshi mad.
“Watch out—GINTOKI!!!”
Because of his desire to protect the man he loved, his body suddenly went glowing. The whole secret base was basking in a smokescreen.
Hijikata quickly grabbed any clothes from a nearby pass-out enemy and wore them to cover his naked body.
He went back to the Demon Vice Chief Commander of Shinsengumi, Hijikata Toushirou. “You fuckers dare to kidnap me!!!”
Hijikata shouted as he grabbed the katana, slashing shinobi who tried to hurt Gintoki.
The silver-haired samurai was shocked to see him back, and then he threw a smirk. “Glad to see you back, Nicotine freak.”
“Same to you, sugar addict.”
Finally, they can get rid of the enemies and quickly trace the culprit who planned the whole situation.
Hijikata reported his situation to Kondo and Shougo when he managed to catch the culprit. Gintoki thought the raven hair man would go back to Shinsengumi’s barrack immediately.
But Hijikata suggested he would escort Gintoki back to Yorozuya and treat his wound. Gintoki was shocked to see his sudden kind gesture, but he didn’t refuse it either.
It was awkward for Gintoki once they arrived, and Hijikata quietly treated the wound on his back. The silver perm hair man didn’t expect Hijikata to suddenly kiss the wound on his arm and sucked it out.
“W-What did you just do?” It’s been a long time for him to feel Hijikata’s soft lips on his skin, and it went straight to his dick.
“You got poisoned, dumbass,” Hijikata explained as he proceeded to suck out all the poison from his vein. Gintoki hoped Hijikata wouldn’t notice the hard bulge on his groin.
When he finished putting bandages on his body, Hijikata actually made hot ocha in his kitchen and brought it to him. Gintoki stopped gaping at his kind gesture.
He can’t bring himself to protest when Hijikata is smoking in his living room. After a few sips, he finally spoke.
“You know—Why did we break up in the first place?”
Gintoki never thought he would bring up the topic he avoided the most. But he knew avoiding him would only leave a huge strain on their broken relationship, so he answered him.
“You don’t remember? Well, I can’t blame you, we only threw some insults and punches that day.”
Hijikata didn’t look at him, but he was listening closely. Gintoki took out a long breath before continuing.
“We really fought hard that day, but mostly—it’s my fault.” Gintoki scratched his messy hair. “I… didn’t stop you and let you go.”
Hijikata pressed his cigarette bud on an ashtray. “Do you want to let me go?”
Gintoki cleared his throat. “Do you even want to be with me?”
Hijikata hesitated for a second. “I… don’t know.” He looked at him with straight eyes. “But I do love you, Gintoki.”
The silver-haired man gaped his mouth. A sudden confession from Hijikata might be bad for his heart. After all, he thought he was dreaming when Hijikata honestly told him that he was indeed in love with him.
The raven hair man got embarrassed because of his stare. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“N-nothing, you never—” Gintoki cannot find the right words to express how happy he was right now. “You never confessed to me—about your feeling, so I never know—”
“Ah, right. We never express ourselves honestly like this, huh.” Hijikata chuckled as he took his cigarette again, but before he could light the fire, Gintoki dropped something on his lap.
“What is this?” He received a nice small box.
Gintoki looks away to hide the blush on his face. “It’s your birthday present.”
Hijikata quickly checked the calendar, and it was 5th May today. He was even surprised to know that Gintoki has been remembered. “You remembered? I even forget about my own birthday.”
Gintoki shrugged. He also mentioned Kagura and Sinpachi prepared him a huge birthday cake on Otose’s fridge, which Hijkata felt grateful to the Yorozuya's youngsters.
“Did you… carrying this thing after all this time?”
“I was about to give you when—before we had a huge fight—you know that day.”
It was a nice ring, it didn’t have a name carved on the ring or a diamond on it, but it has Shinsengumi’s symbol carved on the ring.
“I like it.” He said he was doing his best to express his happiness by kissing the ring he put on his finger. Gintoki’s stare was full of affection in his eyes.
He moved closer to him, pulling him by grabbing his waist. “So, can I assume that you—want to get back with me?”
Hijikata pulled his neck closer and kissed him tenderly. It’s been so long for Gintoki to feel his lips, he cupped back and claimed his lips lovingly.
The two of them shared a kiss for a few minutes, then pulled away because they were losing breath. “Yes, Gintoki.” Hijikata chuckled. Gintoki can feel the breath of his breath on his lips.
“Great, let’s go on a date tomorrow, then.” Gintoki nuzzles his neck. “I don’t want to regret that we haven’t done a single date for once.”
“Hmm, hmmm.” Hijikata hummed as he patted Gintoki’s head. The two of them went to Otose’s bar to celebrate Hijikata’s Birthday. Sougo and Kondo are also coming.
It wasn’t spectacular or anything, but Hijikata genuinely smiled at Gintoki, and he fell in love with the Mayo addict again.
Gintoki wished he could drag his love into bed, but since it was his special day, he would let him have one wonderful night, he could drag him to his bed anytime he could after all.
Bonus
Hijikata’s memory wasn’t fully recovered after he went back to his usual self. Some of his missing memories about his relationship with Gintoki slowly returned.
But what he didn’t expect was that the memory of their first night returned in the middle of the Shinsengumi meeting.
“Hnn—Slower, dammit—” Hijikata bit his lips once Gintoki’s huge dick thrust into his asshole.
“Hmm? You mean harder?” He chuckled as he shoved it all at once and Hijikata bit the pillow below him to suppress his moan.
Gintoki was far from gentle when it’s about sex. He was ruthless and rough when his dick was about to burst.
Hijikata can ask him to stop if their sex become too painful, but somehow he didn’t couldn’t muster the courage to ask him to stop. It felt really good for Hijikata, not that he would admit out loud that he also liked the pain Gintoki caused to his body.
The only pain he disliked was the hurtful feeling when he was unable to connect with Gintoki emotionally.
“Ahn—Gintoki—” Hijikata rarely called his first name, but when the man pinned him down and shoved his hard dick into his body, of course, he would be calling his first name out loud.
Gintoki seemed like to make him scream either, he would add more pleasure by pumping Hijikata’s wet dick or pinching his hard nipples.
The silver hair man loved to explore his lewd face by marking his body. Hijikata always reacts whenever he is leaving hickeys and thrusting his dick together.
His grunt was filling up the whole room and Hijikata barely can remember everything else besides how warm his body was and his hot dick violating his asshole.
They didn’t stop at one round either, they kept making slapping sounds until the morning daze hit the hotel’s window.
Hijikata excused himself to the bathroom in the middle of the meeting since he couldn't handle how messy and hot his latest memory was.
He went grumpy all day thanks to Gintoki.
He finally had another chance to sleep with Gintoki after they made up. It was his first time sleeping in Yorozuya’s place. Kagura was staying the night with Princess Soyo that night, so no one would bother them.
“Ouch, why are you so bitter today? Did I do something again?” Gintoki complained about the bump in his head because of Hijikata’s fist when they met outside Yorozuya.
“N-no.” Hijikata reacted that way because he was annoyed that he got half hard in the meeting because of his memory with Gintoki.
He used to avoided remembering back the memory he had with Gintoki because he didn’t want to get involved too deeply with Gintoki, at that time he didn’t know Gintoki shared the same feeling like him.
“Gheez, I’m looking forward to this because I haven't been able to do this—” Gintoki swift fully pulled him closer to his embrace and kissed him after they entered Yorozuya.
Of course, Hijikata flinched, the sudden warmness basking in his mouth was making his body melt.
Their kiss turned into a heated make-out session, both of them didn’t plan to get away from each other as soon as they walked to Gintoki’s bedroom. Thankfully, his futon was still spread on the floor.
It’s been three days since Hijikata’s birthday, and they finally had time alone together since Hijikata was busy catching up on his workload.
“Gintoki—” He desperately called his name as his lover undressed him, still cupping kisses all over his body.
“Yes?” Gintoki hissed as his groin brushed against Hijikata’s crotch, both of them taking off each other's boxer to let the monster out of the cage.
“Do you—Ah—” Hijikata mewled once Gintoki grab his dick and start pumping his dick,
His mind was quickly lost in heaven once Gintoki sucked his dick, Gintoki was always good at using his tongue. He really likes to suck any part of his body like he was sucking his soul out of his body, and Hijikata found himself getting addicted to it.
His fingers also start to poke at his entrance, preparing him in the meantime while enjoying tasting Hijikata’s hard dick.
Gintoki rarely prepared him in the past, usually, he would prepare himself, but right now Gintoki takes his sweet time to prepare, and his long fingers really fit so well, Hijikata cannot stop hissing, he wanted so much more from Gintoki.
Apparently getting fingered and giving blowjob at the same time was making Hijikata quick to come.
“What?” Gintoki asked him once he finished sucking his boyfriend’s dick, his free hand went back to his own dick to pump a few times and then rubbed it on Hijikata's member.
“Hngh—” Hijikata, unable to say anything, spread his legs and used his legs to open his entrance. It was obvious he was being impatient and Gintoki loved how Hijikata was so hungry right now.
“Yes, Toshi—” He smirked as pressed his head into his entrance. He loved how Hijikata screamed in pleasure as he thrust his dick at a slow pace.
He got used to Gintoki’s rough play so he was shocked when Gintoki treated him in the opposite manner right now.
Gintoki fucking him so slowly. Hijikata almost lost its mind because of it.
It’s not like he preferred the rough play, it was just so dangerous that Hijikata begged him to move his hips faster.
The sadist realized that fucking Hijikata slowly was way more torturing for him, it made him smirk as he went to his neck, biting and leaving marks to make his body tremble even more.
All left on Hijikata’s mouth were incoherent noises and moans, calling his name. Gintoki cannot get enough of his sweet moans in his ears.
But what he loved the most was how lewd his face was right now. Desperate calling him while scratching his back with his nails, it surely left a mark, but Gintoki didn’t mind, he would leave a mark on his body again as punishment.
Seeing him desperately call his name, clinging to his body, and letting him have his way was enough to make the silver samurai fall in love all over again.
“Shit, I love you, Toshirou.” Gintoki cannot help but let out his overflowing feelings. It was an accident and both of them were surprised by his sudden confession.
Suddenly, Hijikata’s body trembled even more, he spammed a few cums in his stomach. “Oh? I should have said it sooner if it could make you like this—” Hijikata was having a dry orgasm because of his confession, it was enough to make him add more speed to thrust even deeper.
The slow pacing was over and right now Gintoki changed his position, finding a better position to violate his prostate even more ruthlessly than before.
Hijikata didn’t stop moaning, he would let Gintoki do whatever he wanted today, he cummed again a few times, while Gintoki followed him after him.
The raven-haired man passed out for a moment, then he woke up when Gintoki was cleaning their sweats and cums in his stomach with a wet towel. “Oh, you’re awake? You pass out for fifteen minutes.”
Gintoki said, still with an indifferent expression as he cleaned his body. “It’s okay, I will take a bath first.” Hijikata slowly pushed his towel, embarrassed that Gintoki was so gentle with him.
“Take a bath with me, then?” Gintoki said with pleading eyes, Hijikata cannot say no to him even though his back hurts so much.
Hijikata expected the man to demand another session as they entered the bathroom but turns out Gintoki only sat with him in the bathtub and massaged him.
“What? You expect me to fuck you again, in here?” Gintoki teased, knowing Hijikata was baffled by his gentle attitude.
“S-Shut up. T-this is better.” Hijikata quickly hid his face. Gintoki chuckled as he gave the shampoo to Hijikata’s head.
“Feel free to ask another round, I’m always ready, Toshi.”